Disclaimer: Ranma ½ and its characters and settings belong to Rumiko Takahashi, Shogakukan, Kitty, and Viz Video. Bishoujo Senshi Sailor Moon belongs to Takeuchi Naoko, Koudansha, TV Asahi, and Toei Douga, and DIC.

Warning: Do not read while drinking. Author will not be responsible for any accidents caused by irresponsible drinking and reading.

-Lime Warning-

And now for some more insanity.

Chapter 3: The Delicate Sound of Blue Thunder

Kuno blinked as Kodachi walked by the open door of the salle on her way to her greenhouse, followed by Akane and Mousse. Curious. He put down his mask as he walked to the door, looking after his sister and the fair Akane.

Then he snapped his bokken in half as he watched his thrice bedamned sister sully the virtuous and pure Akane by laying a very long kiss on her, as well as being far too free with her hands. All while Mousse was… was….

His mind refused to process the visual data, and he turned back to the salle, noticing that some vile demon had broken his bokken.

"SASUKE!"

The house ninja popped up at his feet. "Yes, master?"

"Mine eyes have beheld evidence my sister has sold her soul to demons and doth practice the black arts. You shall go into her greenhouse and discover how she hath managed to bespell my beloved Akane."

"B-but master! Mistress Kodachi has expressly forbidden me to enter her greenhouse."

"I as well. Nonetheless, you will recover for me the information I seek. Or shall I take you fishing in the koi pond?"

"No, Master." Sasuke wiped away the huge drop of sweat as he dodged around Tatewaki and started climbing the drain pipe to edge along the greenhouse roof.

"Hmm," came Kodachi's voice from below. "My darling Mousse, while I am definitely enjoying your current activities, and appreciate your skill with your tongue, it does make it very difficult to concentrate on duplicating this love potion."

Mousse's response was muffled, but it apparently caused Kodachi to giggle. "Don't speak with you mouth full, Mousse dear."

Sasuke pried up the glass ventilation window and looked down cautiously. Kodachi was bent over one of her benches, with several test tubes of a clear blue liquid. The Chinese boy….

Sasuke felt his pulse quicken, realizing that Kodachi was stark naked, and the long-haired boy, Mousse, was kneeling behind the bent over form of Sasuke's mistress. Kodachi finally set down her tube, and stood, revealing at last the focus of his master’s obsession, who apparently was just as occupied as Mousse. Kodachi looked down at them both and smiled.

"Okay, okay, let's retire to the bedroom to play; I'll work on this later."

Akane looked up with a smug grin, then jumped to her feet, kissing Kodachi. Then she joined Kodachi in grabbing Mousse and dragging the grinning boy back into Kodachi's room.

Sasuke looked down at the blue liquid and grinned. "A love potion. And from my mistress's reaction, a very strong one. Master will be so pleased!"

He let himself down on the rafter and scurried down to the lab table, grabbing up a pair of the test tubes. He bolted out of the green house and back to the roof. "OHOHOHOHOHO. I have succeeded! I have the potion!" He looked at the vials. "With this, my Master can win forever the heart of his beloved! With this, he can rightfully claim the heart of Akane….. With this, I could get all those cute girls down at the Ginza to like me! I could get my own harem!"

There was the sound of a cleared throat behind him. "Sasuke!!" Tatewaki’s voice growled.

Torn between duty to his master, and the thought of all those nubile young girls… Sasuke ran.

Ukyo was smiling. She was smiling at the world, at the cars, at the occasional person, even at the clouds. She was smiling because she was happy, and she was happy because of two things… the fact that if she had one more orgasm, she'd likely pass out, and because her life was perfect. Ranma had asked her to marry him!!!!

And Shampoo, Haruka, Michiru, Setsuna, and Hotaru. But she had been asked! And she'd said… YES!!!!

She let out a happy sigh as she floated along the walk towards Ucchan's on her way to collect her stuff and move into Ranma's house with his other wives. Outside, she whacked the mailbox a few times with her spatula, and smiled at it as it staggered away. Even Tsubasa couldn't get make her unhappy today.

As Ukyo vanished into her restaurant, Sasuke came bounding down the street, and crashed head first into the mailbox. The two glass vials flew up, even as the old ninja staggered into street and was carried off by a passing bus.

Kuno turned the corner a second later, crashing into the mailbox and sending fragments flying, revealing a very pretty occupant in the box. Kuno found himself sprawled ungentlemanly on top of the female figure, looking into wide, long-lashed eyes.

Then the vials smashed into the concrete, their contents splashing all over the pair. And Kuno found himself falling into the bottomless pools of her eyes.

"My lady, how could I have ever passed you by on the street, yet never understood the beauty within you? Fool I have been to have never opened my eyes before. I have lived a life of darkness until now, when I have finally seen the world illuminated by the sun." He rolled to the side and rose, drawing the brown-tressed beauty to her feet. "Pray forgive me for my halting tongue, but your loveliness doth draw the very breath from my body in wonder."

The brunette fluttered her eyelashes and placed her hand demurely at the base of her throat. "My lord, you have me at a loss, your honeyed tongue quite overwhelming me."

"Pray tell me thy name, my goddess."

I am Tsubasa, Lord Kuno. We have met before."

Kuno blinked. "Nay, had I beheld such loveliness I should have ripped out my eyes that the memory would always be unsullied by visions of lesser things."

"Yet I have seen you many times lord. I will admit it has been in disguise as I have tried to stay close to my darling Ukyo, but many a time you have taken refuge under the branches of the tree I was disguised as."

Kuno threw his hand against his head dramatically as he sighed. "Ah! Cruel fate to be so close, yet have never felt the joy of your touch, the pleasure of your eyes upon me."

"Nay lord, it has been I who has been blinded to your manly physique, your stern countenance, your eloquent speech. Fool have I been to blindly chase solely after my love for Ukyo."

"Nay, fair maiden. I could never think you a fool. Only allow me to be close to you, and I shall endeavor to aid you in your quest! I shall help you win the heart of the woman Ukyo!"

Tsubasa wrapped her arms around Kuno. "You are too kind, noble lord! Oh, my heart doth beat within me at your closeness and my body doth desire your attentions."

Kuno's hand rose to brush back the brown curls and looked into her burning eyes. "My heart doth race to hear you say those words. My home is not too far, shall we retire thence to slake our desires ere we seek to continue your quest?"

"I thought you'd never ask."

Several hours later, following a lot of oral sex, some clever clothing, and some artistic posing while on hands and knees, a very disheveled, but incredibly happy Tsubasa knocked on the door to the Tendo residence. When Nabiki opened the door to look at the brown haired cross-dresser, she was surprised to find the apparent female gingerly standing, and smelling faintly of Astroglide.

"Tsubasa? What do you want?"

"Nabiki. I need your help desperately. You have to tell me how I can become like Ranma and be a real girl!"

To be continued.