I seem to enjoy trying to crack jokes during sex scenes. Sorry.

I completely revised this, agreed with my earlier guess that it would suck, and hopefully improved it. But I'm still not sure if I want feedback...^^*

Disclaimer: I don't own anybody here. They just started doing this on their own!
 
 

Just Desserts

The bell rang signaling another customer and Shampoo bounced over to greet them. This is when she thought they were strangers. It was Ranma, so naturally she got worse.

"Airen! You come for date Shampoo today?" Ranma's eyes rolled almost audibly.

"Uh, no Shampoo. I'm just hungry."

Shampoo temporarily deflated, but perked back up again as she inevitably must.

"Shampoo sit with you then. MOUSSE! FOOD FOR RANMA!!"

A startled Amazon in the kitchen dropped a plate, received a hearty whack on the head from a stick, and mumbled a 'Yes, ma'am.'

Ranma grinned.

Yes indeed. He *did* want a beautiful Amazon to sit and have lunch with him. Unfortunately, Shampoo slid into the booth next to him instead. [1]

While Ranma day-dreamed and Shampoo oozed all over his inattentive form, Mousse came out of the kitchen and stopped by the table. His presence was noticed immediately by Ranma. Shampoo was too busy oozing.

"Hey, Mousse-chan! How's it hangin'?" Mousse looked Ranma in the eye, wearing a very becoming blush.

'...Chan!?'

"Fine, Saotome....Why do you care?" He dropped his meal unceremoniously on the table.

"Oh, you know. I wouldn't want be a nuisance to you. You can go back to scrubbing toilets, or whatever you were doing."
Mousse turned red, with anger this time.

'Chan in public, and now he's insulting me!!'

Three weeks ago, during a fight, Ranma 'accidentally' kissed Mousse. No pain and circling birds, but an odd stare followed by more hesitant kisses. Quite a development for our little warriors, but they seemed to finally find their niche in life. So this little tit-for-tat was all for show, of course. If Shampoo knew Ranma and Mousse were an 'item' then he wouldn't get any more free food. And Mousse'd probably die. That too. So keeping their relationship as tenuous as it has always seemed was vital. (For Ranma's stomach.)

But, occasionally, someone would go too far ::coughranmacough:: and someone would get mad and then it all went downhill from there.

Ranma tried to tone it down a bit. He didn't like having the Amazon angry with him. That and the fact each step back in their blossoming relationship was a step back from sex. He loved Mousse, he truly did. And Mousse truly loved him as well. But love is only 3/4 what it could be, in Ranma's opinion, when 'love' is held back.

But Mousse was too nervous, possibly even afraid of intercourse. In time, he said. So Ranma, being the sensitive guy no one ever knew he was, didn't pressure Mousse.

He just stewed in his juices. (That sounds gross...)

What have you missed during this poorly placed recap? More oozing, Ranma shoving his feet deeper down his throat, and an increasingly reddening Amazon male with a knife in his hand.

"No, I didn't mean that! What I meant was, maybe if you worked harder, you wouldn't be so scrawny!"

Mousse smiled a little sadistically.

'Keep digging that grave there, Ran-chan!'

Shampoo was snapped into awareness by Ranma's increasing squirming. She looked up at Mousse with a fire in her eye.

"What still do here, Duck Boy? Get back to work!"

She leaped on Ranma with renewed fervor. Ranma took a moment to peel her off his ribcage and turned back to see an empty place beside the table.

'I hope he wasn't really that mad...'

The bell rang and Cologne hopped out of the kitchen muttering under her breath. Akane and Ryoga were lead by the little old woman to Shampoo and Ranma's table. They seated themselves with murderous glares in Ranma's direction. A moment later and Cologne placed their meals on the table.

"...stupidgoodfornothinglazyboy...Enjoy!" That sounded more like a command, so Akane and Ryoga jumped to eating.

Sea hag gone, they started in on Ranma and his new purple haired jacket.

"Guys, it's not what you THINK!" The three pulled back (and off) and looked at Ranma. Akane cocked her head to the side.

"What?"

"I said, you don't UNDERSTAND! Gyah!" Ranma was red as a tomato and turning more towards the blue persuasion.

"You don't have to yell, Ranma." Ryoga grumped. He lifted the noodles to his lips and dropped them all over his lap as he was kicked in the shin. He ignored the searing hot load in his lap and glared slow painful death at Ranma. Ranma was staring wide-eyed at the table top.

"What's the big idea, Saotome!? You wanna take this outside??"

"NooOOOoo! Hahaha!" His chipmunk giggles cut off when he clamed both hands over his mouth. He carefully peeled one off and spoke between his fingers. "I don't feel so good..."

"You don't look so good either." Akane commented.

"Does he ever?" Ryoga joked. Shampoo and Akane turned their attentions to BBQing Ryoga.

'...ohhellohhellohhell...'

'That's it, Ranma. I want you to squirm!'

Mousse continued massaging Ranma's lap. He loved these reactions!
Ranma spared an evil glance down to the Amazon sitting happily on the floor. He pulled his attention back to the conversation when a key word registered in his ears.

"... did Mousse?" Akane was saying.

"Mousse!? That walking bafoon? Why do you care?" Four surprised faces. One turning evil. "I mean, the dork can't even *see* anything so WHAAAAA~AA!!!" Hands clamped over mouth.

'Dork can't see, huh!? Well, look at THIS!'

Nimble fingers and strong hands undid Ranma's pants and yanked them down to mid-thigh. Fortunately for Ranma, Shampoo was in closer proximity to a still smoking Ryoga.

Mousse balked for a moment. This was serious. This was dangerous. *That* was mighty big. Tempting too. Ranma was running his mouth with vigor. Very big. Mousse, blind, pathetic. Very big and alert.

'Wait a minute. Pathetic?'

Very big, alert, and in a shitload of trouble! Gathering his resolve, Mousse pressed forward and took Ranma's head in his mouth.

Ranma had just closed his mouth, so he didn't have to stifle his scream so badly. The hand was good. The mouth? It was bliss. Hot, wet, soft, and gently moving along his shaft. He got harder with this internal dialogue and the image. He couldn't look down though, the others would get suspicious. He'd die with his pants around his knees. Not very honorable. But oh, he wanted to look down. To see himself disappear little by little into the gorgeous boy's sweet little mouth. He stifled a moan. and clasped and unclasped his sweaty hands at his sides. Change that, *big* mouth.

'GODS he's talented...'

"Mmnh. Uh."

"Ranma? You okay?"

'Ack! Remember where you are, Saotome!' Ranma chastised himself.

But the sensations from under the table were almost too much. Mousse sensed this. So he turned it up a notch. A warm, strong hand cupped his balls, and Ranma all but screamed.

By now, almost the hole restaurant was looking at him. He put his hand behind his head and blushed.

'He has enough blood to blush? Well then I'm not doing enough!'

Mousse, the mighty trooper, massaged Ranma's sac and the base of his shaft, and swirled his tongue along his tip. A tiny droplet of liquid collected on his tongue and slid down Mousse's throat. Encouraged by Ranma's choking sob above him, Mousse relaxed his throat and slid Ranma all the way in, forcing himself not to gag.

"God, Ranma, you're turning purple! Are you sure you're okay?"

"Airen want water?" Shampoo started to slide back over.

"GET BACK!" Ranma held his hands up as a barrier. Shampoo looked crestfallen, but sat down anyway.

Akane and Ryoga looked at each other and decided it was time to leave. Judging by the little vein bulging on the side of Shampoo's face, Ranma crossed the line and it was bound to get ugly.
Hasty good-bye's, hastier retreats, and Ranma was left alone with Shampoo. Well, almost alone.

Mousse was a man determined, set firmly to his task. The little flush on his face worsened as Ranma's pleasure heightened and his own stagnated.

But this wasn't about pleasure. This was about *torture*.

"What airen say?" Shampoo asked in a deceptively quiet tone.

Ranma's head was swimming in a cursed spring of drowned 'Du~uh' right now, so he just looked at her with a hentai blush and a lopsided grin as another tiny groan escaped him.

"What Ranma say?" Shampoo hissed.

Ranma sobered up a bit and took notice of the danger he was in. He had a little angel on his shoulder guiding him.

'And a little devil in my lap.'

"S-shampoo, I d-don't FE~el very well. Um, could get me a glASS of wa-water!? PLEase?"

Shampoo cocked an eyebrow.

"O-kaaay..." She got up, entered the kitchen, darted back out to see if she caught him doing something. He smiled nervously and waved, still looking a little blue. Finally she walked in the kitchen for good.

Alone finally, Ranma pinched Mousse's cheek reeeeally hard. Mousse bit Ranma in retaliation. Ranma jumped up with a scream and scrambled to put his pants back on while Mousse dove out from under the table, as it tipped over from the speed of Ranma shooting out of his seat. Mousse ran to the door and left in a cloud of dust, and Shampoo returned with a glass of water to come face to face with what appeared to be Ranma doin' the Macarena.

Ranma froze. Shampoo turned red (angered at being left out on something that's surely important.) Ranma flailed as he ran through the (closed) door, leaving a sputtering pink cat behind.

Cologne hopped into the room and took in the overturned table and far flung food, the yowling great-grandaughter-neko, and the Ranma shaped hole in the door.

"Future son-in-law left before dessert. Hm, too bad." She hopped into the kitchen to heat water for Shampoo-neko. "It was chocolate mousse."
 
 

**********
 

[1] BURN!
 
 

And just so you know, that isn't how you spell bafoon. ^-^  (Baffoon. Buffun. Buffoon. Bafun.)