From: Eric Adams Eric Adams Presents Insignificant Part I - Loss Characters belong to Rumiko Takahashi. Ukyou Kuonji sat at the bar and did her best to drown herself in her drink. In her hand she held a potent blend of Tequila, Whiskey and Iced Tea, she had no idea what it was called, but it soothed her sorrows and comforted her soul. So, Ranma had married Akane, big surprise, everyone knew it would happen. It was expected, almost predestined. In a surprising and bold move, Ranma and Akane had run away to elope. In their own way they were defying their parents wishes and following their hearts. Ukyou could hardly question their choice. Upon their return a few days later there had been a more formal reception to which Ukyou had been invited. She had gone to the reception and had smiled numbly and offered hollow words of congratulations. Throughout the whole affair she bit her lips to keep from crying and kept her eyes firmly trained on the floor. Shampoo had attended, though Cologne and Mousse were noticeably absent. Ukyou thought she heard the same hollowness in Shampoo's voice but kept her thoughts to herself. The two of them had exchanged pleasantries and avoided each other's eyes. Ukyou had wondered where Cologne and Mousse were, but before she had a chance to ask, Ranma asked for a single dance. Her heart pounding she let him lead her onto the dance floor, where under Akane's watchful eye they had danced slowly, cheek to cheek. She held back more tears, and let him lead, a false smile on her face. As the song drew to a close, Ranma kissed her on the forehead, and told her that he would always consider her his friend and that she would always be welcome as a guest. Her heart breaking, Ukyou mumbled assurances that she would stay in touch and always be his friend, before returning to her place along the wall. She noted with some disgust that Ranma repeated the dance with Shampoo. She did not notice Akane approaching from across the room and was subsequently surprised when the newlywed touched her shoulder. Akane had smiled pleasantly and asked her if she was all right. Ukyou merely nodded and went back to her silent vigil. She had thought to ask Shampoo if she wanted to get together some night but Shampoo had disappeared shortly afterwards. Cologne and Mousse had no idea where the girl had run off. That had been a month ago. Since that night, she had yet to say one word to Ranma and he kept his distance, out of pity or respect she was not sure. Though she heard rumors that things between him and his wife were wonderful, perhaps he could not be bothered with a depressed friend. But she had not come to this bar to focus on the past. She was here to get piss drunk, like she had last night and the night before. Thank god it was summer, so her grades would not slip, not that she actually cared about something as trivial as school. She sipped some more of the foul tasting concoction before her and scanned the room. Two young lovers sat in a cozy booth drinking from the same cup. She flicked her eyes quickly away. That's when she noticed the handsome man sitting next to her. When he noticed her gaze on him he smiled at her. Quietly, she got up from her seat and made her way to the bathroom. The full effects of the alcohol had not set in yet and she felt very sober. Once in the bathroom Ukyou stood in front of the mirror and adjusted the ribbon in her hair, straightened her skirt and made sure she was real. She applied her best makeup and walked back out to the seat next to the handsome man. An idea had formed in her head. "Hi," she smiled nervously, "I'm sorry if I was rude, but I wanted to make myself look presentable. My name is Ukyou." The man grinned at her and stylishly slicked back his hair, "I'm Toshi, it's a pleasure to meet you." "I'm sorry if I'm being a bit forward," Ukyou began awkwardly, "but I was wondering if you would like to dance." She indicated the stairs to the second floor where loud music drowned out all other sound. "Sure," he nodded for emphasis. Toshi took her hand and escorted her upstairs. Ukyou danced recklessly, her mind far away. She let the rhythm of the music carry her body, her eyes closed most of the time. She moved sexually, her body sometimes coming in close contact to his, her breasts brushing against his chest, her crotch on his knees. He gripped her waist at times and when her back was turned to him he pressed his body close against hers till she could feel his hard sex against her butt. Ukyou had no problem seducing the boy. All the while, she let him lead, allowed him to believe it his choice when their lips first met. Later, as he bought her more drinks, she let him gently rub her breasts. He grew bolder as the night wore on until his hands slipped into her skirt and caressed her thighs and her sex. Inwardly she railed against him, outwardly she smiled pleasantly as he grew surer of himself. He leaned close to her, and Ukyou heard the words she wanted to hear, "Are you ready to come back to my place?" Grinning wildly, Ukyou nodded and let him lead her out of the bar. During the ride to his house he had continued to rub her between her legs until she was wet and aching for penetration. Barely able to control herself until they arrived in his apartment, Ukyou closed her eyes and held her breath. Silently she called the man every foul name she could think of. Once they arrived at his place, they quickly retreated upstairs to his apartment where she stripped naked and laid herself on his bed. "You are beautiful," he commented. "Thank you," Ukyou couldn't care less what he thought of her. She had failed Ranma, and she had failed herself. Maybe in some small way she could bring a bit of happiness to this fool even if the only thing he actually cared about was what lay between her legs. She just wanted to make someone happy and if she got a small amount of pleasure out of it then so be it, but it was not her goal. The act of penetration was what she ached and longed for. For years she had been saving herself for Ranma, but his marriage to Akane had removed any hope she had of him being her first. Two weeks after the reception she decided relieve herself of that burden and had masturbated herself to a climax. Coldly and efficiently she had pierced her own hymen, ending her virginity. Every night since then she had masturbated. Except for the first night, she always stopped short of giving herself an orgasm; as if she did not quite deserve it. Tonight, though she wanted to be penetrated and she pulled Toshi down on top of her. The act of penetration almost brought to her orgasm, but after he was firmly inside her, she once again buried her lust and lay still. She responded when expected but gave no more of herself than she had already given. To say that Ukyou and Toshi were making love or even having sex was a grossly over romanticizing what she was doing. If she had thought that there was any hint of love in this act she would not be letting him fuck her. But she knew better, the look in his eyes spoke of where his interest in her lay. If anyone had suggested to her that she was doing anything other than fucking she would have laughed out loud. He came suddenly and Ukyou reacted by faking her own orgasm. She had to fake because she was nowhere near being excited, her juices having run dry shortly after penetration. His movement during the whole affair had only hurt her. Spent, he lay on top of her until she pushed him off. She realized with some trepidation that they had not used protection and hoped that the idiot had not gotten her pregnant. Standing up she gathered her clothes and went to the bathroom to get dressed. From the bedroom she could hear him talking inanely, "That was great." Ukyou rolled her eyes at his stupidity. "Was it good for you?" Ukyou said that the sex had been great and that he was the best lover she ever had. She pulled on her skirt and adjusted it. A quick glance in the mirror confirmed that she was still real. "Maybe we could do it again later tonight?" Toshi sounded like he had gotten up and was now moving around the bedroom, "What do you think?" She opened the door and stepped out fully dressed, "I think that if you want to come again tonight you are going to have to do it yourself." "Hey what the hell?" Toshi looked at her, surprise on his face; "You don't have to go." She stopped him with a glare, then shrugged. "I'm not staying." She walked to the door and opened it. He caught her arm and she hoped that he would so something that would give her an excuse to hurt him. "Don't I even get your number or something," he asked petulantly. She smiled her practiced false smile at him, "Sorry." She pulled free of his grasp and shut the door quietly behind her. She held her breath until she reached the elevator. He apparently was not coming after her. The cool night air felt good on her face after the hot fever of the apartment. Once she was far enough away from Toshi's apartment she leaned over and puked. Grasping the lightpost near her she heaved until her stomach was empty then continued on her way home. She quietly slipped inside and shut the door behind her. Konatsu was at the counter, having fallen asleep waiting for her. She smiled fondly at him and ran her hand through his hair, waking him up. "Ukyou, I'm glad you are home. I was beginning to get worried about you. It's getting late." He looked up at her, the concern clearly etched on his face. "I'm alright," she started to make her way up the stairs, "I'm tired, are you going to sleep now?" He nodded and followed her upstairs. Ukyou wished him a good night and retired to her own room. Her legs hurt and she felt raw between them. The single mirror in the room anchored her to reality. Tomorrow she would have to get another one or maybe two more; there were too many bare walls in her room already. She crawled quietly into bed, curled herself into a ball and cried herself to sleep. Ukyou did her best not to dream and every night she failed. Failing was not uncommon to her, she had no choice in the matter, she understood failure, and success might have surprised her. As she lay in her bed, curled into a ball, her thighs hurting and sickness in her stomach, she dreamt. Thousand of faces surrounded her. Some she recognized immediately, others she had to concentrate on to make out. Still there are other nameless people who only pointed and chuckled. She picked out Ryouga standing to one side, his eyes avoiding hers, Akane held Ranma's hand and shook her head in disgust, Konatsu looked on with concern, Happosai glomped to Akane and buried his face between her breasts, Akane did not seem to mind the attention. Around Ukyou a thousand faces laughed and pointed. Ukyou realized she was naked and tried to cover herself. Happosai glanced at her and laughed out loud. Despite her nudity and vulnerability, he made no move towards her. Ryouga walked up to her first, each night it was some one different. Ryouga faced her, a stern look in his eyes. "Is this the best answer you have?" Ryouga whispered harshly, "I thought better of you." "I tried." Ukyou whimpered as Ryouga faded before her. She picked out Shampoo standing apart from the chuckling crowd. Never had never before appeared in her dreams. The Amazon shook her head at Ukyou and started to walk away. Before Ukyou could call out to Shampoo, Akane approached, "He picked me. Me! Me over you, and he called me uncute." She smirked, "Me!" Ranma took Akane's hand, "Ucchan, thanks for helping me realize my love for Akane." Ranma and Akane slowly faded before her eyes. Ukyou did not move she merely sat before the crowd and awaited her next judgement. Happosai, without Akane to glomp on wandered towards her and passed right through her. Ukyou noticed that Shampoo had not left and had edged closer. "Save me," Ukyou whispered. "Save yourself" the crowd laughed at her. "I tried," she screamed. "Not hard enough", the crowd roared with laughter. Suddenly, Shampoo stood beside her, "Go away!" Shampoo screamed at the crowd. Instantly, the laughter faded and the crowd disappeared. "Get up," Shampoo said harshly and yanked Ukyou to her feet. "Look at what you've become," Shampoo stood back, disgust evident in her eyes, "Look at yourself." "I can't", Ukyou breathed and wrapped her arms around her naked body. "Why not?" Shampoo demanded. "I can't see myself." "Exactly." Ukyou sat bolt upright in her bed. Unlike dreams she has previously had, this one included Shampoo. Never before had Shampoo appeared in her dreams. Her long time rival had seemed anxious and willing to help Ukyou. Her heart pounding, Ukyou scanned the room, her eyes seeking confirmation, they came to rest on the mirror. When she saw she cast no reflection she started to scream. The next morning Ukyou slept in. Her nightmares had left her exhausted. As the sun rose in the east, she began to make out sounds from below; Konatsu trying hard to keep the early customers satisfied. From experience, she knew that he would not be able to keep up for long and would need help shortly. With trepidation she opened her eyes and caught her reflection in the mirror. Sighing with relief, she dragged herself out of bed. She noticed that she had not changed clothes when she had gone to sleep. As she made her way to the shower, she made a mental list of things that she would have to buy later: two wall mirrors, perhaps a ceiling mirror, some condoms, aspirins, and extra bed sheets. She turned the shower on and stepped in. The cold shocked her awake and made her feel alive enough to face the world for another day. Konatsu had done surprisingly well handling the customers this morning, though she noted that several were pleased to see her cooking again. While many came to see the cute waitress, none considered Konatsu an excellent cook. She noticed that there were fewer customers today then the day before. This had been a continuing trend for the past month. She wondered if her depression had affected her cooking. The morning sun streaming in through the windows hurt her eyes as she recounted the previous night's dream in her head, weighing Shampoo's significance in it. She did her cooking with actions she had come to know well over a lifetime of okonomiyaki. She was friendly with her customers as needed and chatted quietly about the weather, the day's events, and the relative calmness that had settled over Nerima since Ranma's and Akane's wedding. Nobody would've guessed that she was not listening. She added another mirror to her list, one for inside the store. After the noon rush and before the evening patrons began to arrive, she took her leave of Konatsu. She wanted to get some of her errands done before night. She had plans tonight and she needed some of those items before she went out. The summer sun beat down on her, leaving her wishing for the cool comfort of autumn or winter. She walked, practicing her smile as she went, nodding pleasantly to strangers. Some smiled back others shied away. She liked it better when they shied away. She approached the street where the drug store was located, and looked both ways before crossing. The traffic was not very bad at this time of the day, however she could see a car rushing down the street. She looked at the car and decided that it would not be a problem to cross in front of it. She stepped out in front of it, within seconds the car's brakes screeched. Ukyou continued walking across the street taking no notice of the car that had come to a stop a few feet beside her. Walking into the drugstore, she did a quick circuit of the store, looking for anything that might catch her eye. Eventually, she came to the condom section. Not an expert on the various brands she looked over each box separately. Last night's experience with Toshi had hurt mainly because she was not excited, she considered that future encounters would continue along the same course and opted to get the lubricated brand. Eyeing the pack of condoms nervously, she looked around making sure no one was looking, she started walking to the cashier then stopped for a second and considered what she was doing. She turned around and returned to the selection and picked out a second box, these were lubricated as well but were also ribbed. Maybe getting some enjoyment out of the situation would not hurt. She felt somewhat awkward as she approached the cashier and decided to buy a candy bar. She sucked at her lip and smiled at the cashier and waited anxiously as the cashier rang up her purchases. Ukyou was convinced that Ranma or Akane or even Ryouga would walk up behind her and ask her what she was buying. Without comment the cashier rang up the two packs of condoms. When she came to the candy bar, she looked up at Ukyou and smirked. Blushing Ukyou paid the cashier and quickly walked out of the store. Buying the candy had made it too obvious she had never bought condoms before. Still the experience was behind her and she would be more prepared next time. To her relief there had been no surprise visits by any of her "friends". She stuffed the condoms into her purse and continued walking down the street. She stepped into the home dÈcor store down the street. Several mirrors came immediately to her attention. The sales person was nice and helped her pick out several inexpensive ones. She chose two plain wall mirrors for her room, one large ceiling mirror for over her bed and a more ornate fancy one for the restaurant. She arranged to have the two larger ones delivered the next day and have the store install them. The two smaller ones she took with her. Feeling content with her purchases she allowed her good feelings to show in her smile. After several hopeful smiles by passing men, Ukyou quickly returned to her wicked grin. Konatsu had done reasonably well in her absence and Ukyou decided not to clobber him with her spatula. The remainder of the day passed without incident as the evening crowd came and went. Leaving Konatsu to clean up, she retired upstairs to get ready. She hung her two new mirrors in strategic locations around the room and stopped to stare at herself in one of them. Pulling up a chair from her desk she sat herself down in front of one and studied her reflection. The first thing she noticed was the dark circles under her eyes. Make up would clear those up. She studied her eyes next. She noted that they had no sparkle or life, however she reasoned that the men she would meet would not be overly concerned with her eyes. Still a little life in them would not hurt. She practiced her smile noting the way her lips seemed a bit chapped and in need of some color. She chose her lipstick carefully perhaps a nice subdued red, garish colors did not mix well with her skin tone. As she studied herself in the mirror she became increasingly uncomfortable and hot. Unconsciously she began to rub her nipple. Lost in her contemplation she was unaware of how much time had passed. Her lips moved silently, at first only mouthing the words, she repeated the same line continuously, her voice gaining strength and her hand rubbing her breast moved with greater abandon. " I dream of you, With my eyes open, With my eyes closed, In the day In the night, I dream of you, Wherever you are, Wherever I am, In my heart, In my soul, I dream of you." "Excuse me, Ukyou? I didn't quite hear what you said." Konatsu was at the door. Ukyou eyes went wide and she realized where her hand was, even now caressing her breast. Snarling she reached and grabbed her spatula, "Konatsu!" she screamed as she ran across the room her giant spatula upraised to strike him, "Don't you ever walk in on me again." She brought the spatula down to bear on him with all her strength and stopped short of hitting him. She lowered her weapon, her anger dissipating. Konatsu had not even flinched. Sighing, she buttoned her top covering her exposed breast. "I'm sorry Konatsu, my door was open, it's not your fault." Wordlessly, her turned to leave then stopped and turned around. "Ukyou," he began softly, "Would you like to go to a movie or something tonight?" His question caught her off guard. Her eyes focused dangerously on him and he took a step back. "I'm sorry, maybe some other night," she lied, "I'm going out tonight." She slammed the door in his face. She turned to look at herself in the mirror and realized that she hated the person she saw. Ukyou decided to not return to the same bar she had been to the night before. She had no desire to run into Toshi. She drank quietly for a while smiling at the passing men. Not long afterwards a bolder man offered to buy her a few more drinks. She had chosen her outfit carefully tonight. A black body suit top, and some dark leggings. It was a good look for her. She had made sure to cover up the dark circles and she even let her smile reach her eyes. As he led her onto the dance floor she began move to the music, letting it control her. The alcohol removed her inhibitions and she let the music carry her body. She liked to dance and was good at it; her movements were always in synch with the rhythm, her body moving sexually against her partner. Before long her and Kentaro had attracted an audience, most entranced by her. Ukyou did not mind being the center of attention and she let her movements grow more hypnotic. Kentaro smiled at her and she smiled back but she had let some of the spark in her eyes fade. His smile faltered when her noticed her distracted vision. She quickly pressed her body against his grinding her hips against his and the self-assured smile quickly returned to his face. As the night wore on, Kentaro grow bolder, his lips often sought hers out, and he grew fond of running his fingers through her hair. By midnight, Kentaro was ready for more and he invited Ukyou outside. Once in the car they drove off to a secluded park and in the back seat Ukyou allowed him to fuck her. She was relieved that he did not seem to mind her insisting on the condom. It was a cold passionless exercise. Kentaro pumping madly and Ukyou laying still and hating him for what he was doing to her. Kentaro lasted longer then Toshi, and as he came he grabbed her hair, pulling on it painfully. The lubrication on the condom had worn off and the latex left Ukyou feeling raw and sore once again. Wordlessly she refastened her body suit and pulled her leggings back on.. Kentaro lay on the back seat of his car breathing heavily. He smiled up at Ukyou and pulled his pants back on. "Leaving, huh?" Ukyou nodded and reached for the door. She needed to get into the fresh air and breathe. The inside of the car was warm and musty and smelled of sex. She felt like gagging on the smell. "Well, I didn't really expect you to stay." Kentaro smiled smugly at her. "Anyway, it was fun for a bit. Maybe I'll see you around." Ukyou stepped outside of the car and hurried off into the night without another word. Ukyou composed herself and stopped crying before she entered the restaurant. She realized that Konatsu was probably going to still be up waiting for her. While a part of her found his devotion sweet another part of her found it annoying. Still she felt as if she could trust him not to go away. She needed some sense of stability in her life. As expected, Konatsu was fast asleep at the counter. She poked him in the back and woke him up. "Hey sugar, I'm home you can stop worrying." Konatsu blinked furiously at her. "Ukyou, I'm so glad you're home." Ukyou shrugged, "It's been a long night, do you mind opening up tomorrow again." "Of course not," Konatsu stood up and brushed the wrinkles out of his clothes, "You just sleep okay." Ukyou smiled sweetly at him and promised herself to do something nice for him. "Good night Konatsu." She walked upstairs and went to sleep.