-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ranma Nibunnoichi - Gaijin in Nerima!                      [Warning : Satire]

All characters portrayed in this fanfic are copyright of Rumiko Takahashi
and Shogakukan Inc, etc, etc, etc. All other 'real' characters are sort of
copyright of me.

NB. This has nothing to do with the Ranma Nibun No Ichi series!

Also ... This is a satire, so sit back, relax, ignore the normal Ranmaverse
and enjoy! ^_^ 

Oh, and play The Ranma 1/2 Drinking Game while you're at it... It's all
clearly marked for you! Go get plastered! ^_~

Note: All blame goes to Ryo, Ishido, Ratiko and Skeride at the fanfic ML MUX, 
      as they all thought it was funny and a good idea! Send all flames, 
      hate mail, complaints, "this is the only fanfic of yours that I don't
      like"s and anything else bad to them!

      I take NO responsibility for this fanfic ... unless you like it. ^_~
_____________________________________________________________________________

**** The author finishes hitting 'd' a lot of times, "Ack, too many of these
**** damned I Am God Super Otaku And I Solve All The Problems Because I'm So
**** Great And Sexy And Wonderful 'fics... Even one is too much." She sighs,
**** "Well, it's time to start writing... Ack! Hey, you guys! Get away from
**** my computer! Waaaaaah! Noooooooooooo--"

[Somewhere]

Somewhere, sometime ... strange things happen. You give a smirk. This will
be one of these strange things.

**** The author grabs control of the computer and kills Micro$oft Word,
**** "If you boys ARE going to write, use a REAL program like vi!!!
**** She deletes Lose '95 and telnets into EUNUCHX and starts up vi ...
**** "There. Now write if you MUST."

[Nerima]

The sun shone brightly as the sounds of Nerimans awaking mixed with the
chirping of the sparrows. A normal morning in Nerima. As Ranma flew through
the air, a single cry shattered the peaceful morning air. The inevitable
splash that followed joined the morning sounds.

A typical morning in Nerima.

As Ranma dragged herself out of the pond, she grumbled, trying to squeeze
the excess water from her hair. "Stupid iinazuke... Who does she think she
is, kicking me like that ... All I did was tell her how bad her breakfast
was..."

Suddenly, she stopped and blinked.

There was a beautiful brunette, obviously foreign, wandering through the
garden towards the pool.

Ranma frowned, "Oi, what're you doing here?"

The girl blinked and then smiled, her large brown eyes filling with
happiness. "I'm finally here!"

"Hey..."

She jumped into a forward flip, landing in front of the red headed pigtailed
girl. "You must be Ranma. I'm here for training with your fiancee's dad."

Ranma grinned, "Well, you're sure a wonderful martial artist! That flip was
*great*!"

The girl bowed and grinned, "Thanks, Ranma. By the way, my name's Caroline
Seawright. Hajimemashite. Douzo yoroshiku."

**** The author picks up her rule book of Ranma fanfic writing.
**** <Rule #1 - Thou shalt not write thyself into thine own fanfic
****            lest it destroy thine good name and look like an
****            egotistical maniac in front of thine peers>
**** She pikus, blushes and rips up the page, "Oops."
**** The author then starts typing again.

**** 3 drinks if the author writes himself (herself) into the story as some
**** all-knowing wiz who solves everything

**** If any Japanese is used in the fanfic, 2 drinks

She stood at about five foot six, and was rather petite but well formed.
Her musculature was compact and sleek, but her body was more curved than
even Hinako's adult form.  Her tresses of dark brown hair drifted around 
her shoulders, framing her pretty face. Her deep brown, hypnotic eyes 
drew Ranma's glance. Her smoldering gaze ran over him...

Ranma felt her heart beat quicken, <She's ... a goddess.> But she managed 
to catch herself, "Well, I'd ... err... better show you in then?"

Caroline nodded and smiled, "I'm looking forward to meeting your kawaii
fiancee, Akane, too."

"Eheh... well, just follow me." With that, Ranma led her into the Tendou-ke.

[Outside the Doujou Walls]

Stepping out of the bus that pulled up by the Tendou household, a rather
handsome group of men clustered around the tallest member, who was holding 
a piece of paper with an address on it.

"Well, this seems to be the place."

"You sure? I think we're lost. Again." The man stared at the other over his
sunglasses.

They stood in front of the only house in the street that was surrounded by
a high wall, with a large, wooden gate.

Another looked at the sign by the gate, "Well, it says that this is the 
right place. It says it's the Tendou Doujou."

"Since when could you read Japanese?"

He shrugged, "Well... Since when could *any* of us speak Japanese this well?"

One man sighed, and adjusted his glasses. Deep brown eyes gazed at the
group, strands of his black hair tumbling around his face, bishounen style.
"I think we should just go in, guys. We've got to get there for the classes."

The first man nodded and put away the address. His dark hair was held back
from his eyes by a red bandanna. "I guess you're right, Kevin." He flashed
a smile, "Let's go!"

The other man gave a shrug and the three of them headed into the open gate.
"I still don't think this is the right place..."

[Moments Later]

Two other men strolled towards the gate.

A man in a black leather jacket, and a long haired guy. They both headed
into the gate... not realising that, having passed Fuurinkan High on their
way, they had a trail of giggling, teenage girls following them, gazing
at the pair with love-struck, puppy dog eyes.

From the other side of the street, your eyes light upon the girls, "Yes... 
this is definately one of those strange things."

[Tendou Doujou]

Souun looked up from his paper, "My students are finally arriving?"

Kasumi smiled sweetly, cleaning the room, "Hai, otousan. Akane-chan says 
that they are all in the Saotome's guest room, unpacking. Oh, and the girl, 
she is in Akane's room."

Souun nodded, "It was good of Nabiki to advertise in all those other
countries to get some people to train here. We really need the money."

Kasumi nodded vacantly with a happy smile on her sweet face.

Genma stood up, "It's time to face the students, Tendou-kun."

Souun carefully placed down the paper and nodded, "Alright, Saotome-kun.
Let's go. Kasumi, please tell them to meet us in the doujou. Akane and
Ranma should meet them there, too."

The pair left the living room, headed outside. Kasumi nodded absently, and
headed upstairs. <How ever will they all fit into that room?>

[Saotome's Room]

"Hey, that's my futon! You're not sleeping there!"

Kevin mumbled an apology, shifted his trademarked green, 'CSU Marching Band 
Sax Line' cap, and moved his own futon over a little.

Finally there was some semblance of order in the room. Seven futons were
arranged on the floor for the seven men who would sleep there.

Kasumi's head popped around the door, "Everybody, otousan wishes you all to
meet in the doujou. And you, too, Ranma." She smiled sweetly at the
group, "Please enjoy yourselves, and I will have your dinner ready soon."

She left silently to stop at Akane's room.

The black jacketed man sighed, staring after her. His dark brown hair flowed
around his face, highlighting his love-struck greeny-blue eyes.

"Well, I see you're taken with Kasumi, Ian," grinned his friend.

Ian snapped out of it, mumbling, "Shut up... Least I didn't drool when I saw
her, Alex."

Alex blushed, "Well, Nabiki *IS* a babe."

Ranma smirked, "Let's go." He left the room, leaving the guys to follow.

[The Doujou] 

Caroline sat on the tatami mat and watched the guys wander in. Akane stood
next to her, in her white gi. As the group of men entered, a light blush
touched Akane's cheeks, <Ohhhh, they're all so handsome! I wonder how many
of them I'll get to sleep with?>

**** The author sobs, "Aliens have taken over my computer! They're making
**** Akane OOC (out of character)!"

Souun stood up and bowed, "I am Souun Tendou, your sensei. Welcome to my
doujou."

Genma bowed, "And I am Genma Saotome. I shall assist in your training."

Kevin smiled a little and stepped forward, "I'm Kevin Eav. And this is Chris
Willmore," He pointed to the bandanna-ed Ryouga look-a-like, "And this is
Rodney P. Malapitan." He indicated the short-haired Filipino, who still
wore his sunglasses. The three of them, now in plain white gi, bowed. Even 
beneath the outfits, it was clear that the three of them had done martial 
arts for most of their lives - they were all strong, athletic, sexy and 
they had bodies that even put Ranma to shame.

Then Ian and Alex bowed, "I am Ian Donaldson, and this is Alex Neilson."
These two, dressed in the same white gi as the other men, were still just
as sexy. Alex's hair, now loose, flowed around his face, giving his blue
bishounen eyes and his delicate features something ... more. Both men were
almost too beautiful to look at, matching the other three for looks and
body.

**** May as well take three sips for each other 'real' person added in...
**** 3 for Kevin, 3 for Rod, 3 for Chris, 3 for Ian, 3 for Alex.......

**** The author hmms, "Maybe you should scrounge up a couple of more
**** bottles of stuff to drink about now... ^^;

Caroline smiled and waved to everyone, "I'm Caroline."

Souun nodded, "Well, lets see what you can all do..."

And so the sparring began. Each of the new students moved with a fluid 
grace, seeming to dance more than fight. Slowly, the new students began to
show what they were *really* capable of. Akane, sparring with Caroline, was
soon outclassed. Even Ranma seemed to be losing ground to his sparring 
partners ... 

Souun and Genma watched.

"I wonder if we can use them to get rid of Happousai?" wondered Souun, rather
amazed that people were actually beating Ranma, even in practise.

Genma nodded, watching his son start to lose his temper, "I think that they
could do an adequate job, Tendou-kun."

Ranma suddenly punched at Chris with all of his strength and speed ... and 
missed. Chris, who had ducked under the blow, pushed up, uppercutting the
Saotome boy. Ranma flew backwards, in an arc, and landed ... right on Akane.

Caroline blinked as now her sparring partner was underneath an unconscious
Ranma, in a rather compromising position. "Anou..."

Chris blushed, "Oops..."

**** The author bapbaps Chris away from her keyboard, "Stop writing my
**** story for me! You'll end up killing someone... chopping them into
**** pieces... killing Ryouga...!" *sob*

Akane, realising her predicament, growled, "Ranma no hentai!!" With a slap,
she scrambled out from under him and ran off, tears starting to stream from
her eyes...

Souun and Genma sighed.

"Well, I think that's enough sparring for today..." Souun shook his head,
then turned to Genma, "Shougi?"

Genma nodded and left, Souun following. The stunned men in the room turned
to each other and shrugged, then made their way out to get changed ... and
Caroline was left with an unconsious Ranma.

[Outside]

Ukyou, Kodachi and Shampoo, glaring at each other as they made their way
to the Tendou Doujou, each with a love offering of food for Ranma, stopped
short. The doujou was surrounded by girls from the local high schools.

The three would-be lovers of Ranma took one look at the love-sick 
expressions on the faces of the girls, then ran.

Grinning to yourself, you watch the three girls zip in through the doujou
gate. Sneaking up to the wall, you slip over ... into the doujou gardens.

[Tendou-ke]

Kasumi hummed as she served dinner to the table full of people. She didn't
notice Ian's gaze.

Nabiki, admiring the men around her, found herself sitting next to Alex.
<Wow, what a hunk...>

Akane hadn't come down to dinner, and Ranma and Caroline were still in the
doujou ... No-one noticed. They were all intent on dinner.

It was then that three girls sped into the room, "Hey, what's all this?!"

Kasumi smiled, "Welcome!"

As the girls stopped, they stared at the men around the table. <Kakkoi...>

<Oh, she's so ... so... wonderful!> Kevin stared at Ukyou. Apparently, she
was just as taken with him, because she blushed and dropped down at the
table next to him.
"H..hi, I'm Ukyou." Ukyou stared, <Wow, talk about buns 'o steel...>

Kevin smiled, "Kevin. What's a pretty girl like you doing around here?"

She just giggled.

Rod stood up and bowed to Kodachi, "Ah, my beauty. I am Rod... who are you,
my precious flower?"

Kodachi blushed and then eyed him carefully, "The Black Rose, Kodachi Kunou."

With a smile, Rod took her hand and kissed it, "My precious flower is a
rare rose among the daffodils."

The Black Rose blushed, <Oh, if only those lips would touch mine... Oh, he's
so poetic... he reminds me so much of oniisama ... Oh, how I want this new
man of mine...>

**** The author BLINKS at what she just wrote. "Oh, boy... this is getting
**** really Freudian..."
**** <Rule #25 - Thy shalt not write greater perversions than the works of
****             Chris Willmore, lest he steal ideas from you>
**** She sighs, "Oh dear..."

Shampoo, smiling uncertainly, looked at Chris, "Aiya! Handsome man want to
know Shampoo's name?"

Chris, looking at Shampoo, shuddered, "Err.... I'm allergic to purple hair.
Sorry, got to go for a jog!" He jumped up and ran off as fast as his legs
could carry him.

Shampoo pouted. "Oh. Shampoo only want you to use sword to make Shampoo
oh so happy!" she called after Chris' retreating figure. 

Everyone facefaulted.

[The Doujou]

Caroline pressed a damp cloth to Ranma's forehead, and he stirred, moaning 
as the pain from the punch washed through him. She knelt beside him, 
watching him closely.

She smiled, "Well, you're up and about again, Ranma."

Ranma frowned and half sat up, then groaned and collapsed again, "What a
hit..."

"Yeah, but at least he didn't hit you at full strength."

Ranma blinked, "He's ... MORE powerful? Wow, he's even better than I first
thought! All of you are *great* fighters. But no-one beats me!"

Caroline laughed and ran her fingers through Ranma's fringe, "Well, looks
like he beat you."

Ranma clenched his jaw, then sighed in pain.

A smile flitted over Caroline's lips and she leaned down, her lips hovering
inches from Ranma's ... "Let me ... help relieve that pain..."

A blush spread over Ranma's face. He trembled a little ... then reached up
and grabbed her around the waist, pulling her down on top of him. He kissed
her with a deep, passionate kiss. "I want you badly..." he murmured.

As she kissed back, Caroline smiled to herself, <Yes....>

[Nerima's Shopping District]

Ryouga sighed and looked around, "Ittai koko wa doko da? Where is the Tendou
Doujou?"

A brown, long-haired man, with big, shining blue-green eyes and glasses
smiled, "I'm headed for the doujou now. I have a class starting tomorrow.
Want to walk with me?"

Ryouga looked at him, <Well, he looks strong enough and good enough to be
one of Tendou-san's students. Hmm. I wonder how good he really is...> With
a shrug, Ryouga picked up a pile of souvenirs that he'd give to Akane when
he saw her, "Okay. Lead the way... By the way, I'm Ryouga Hibiki."

As the two started walking, the gaijin nodded, "And I'm James Davis. Pleased
to meet you."

**** Another three sips for James... Tipsy yet?

"So you do martial arts...?"

The pair talked as they headed to the doujou.

[Ice-skating Rink]

Chris, finally stopping his 'jog' away from Shampoo, sat down, "Eww... That
was ... HORRIBLE!" He leaned back and rested his hands behind his head. <How
do I get away from her again, if she sees me?>

Unfortunately his thoughts were interrupted by a kawaii squeal, "Waaaai! 
It's Azusa-chan's Frederick! Frederick! Frederick!" Then he was glomped.

**** 1 drink for each appearance of the following people: Azusa

**** 3 drinks if any of the above are major parts of the story

"H..hey! What the...?"

He turned his head enough to see ... Azusa. His eyes lost focus and he felt
his pulse starting to race, "So k..kawaii..."

He let himself be held in her arms, his gaze dreamy...

Azusa snuggled onto him tightly, "Azusa-chan's Frederick..."

[Tendou Doujou]

As dinner finished, Ryouga and James turned up.

Kasumi smiled apologetically, "I'm sorry, but there weren't any left overs
from dinner ...." She was trailed by Ian who was hoping for a chance to
talk to her, alone.

Shampoo looked up, "Oh, is Ryouga and another sexy man. You want to meet
Shampoo, ne?" She looked hopefully at James.

**** The author bapbapbapbapbapbaps at someone trying to take the keyboard
**** away from her, "No, you can NOT write your own lines!!"

James grinned to himself, <Am I a babe magnet or what? She'll be good for
a night or two...> He bowed, "Of course I'd like to meet a pretty girl like
you. It's amazing you don't have a guy already, though..."

**** She pouts, "Feh. Fine. Write your own lines! See if I care!"

Shampoo bounced over and glomped onto James' arm, "Oh, Shampoo used to have
husband. Shampoo find better man now. No want husband any more."

James' grin widened, <I still got it...>

Nobody was taking much notice. Nabiki and Alex were sitting close to each
other, by the television. Ian was still trailing Kasumi. Kevin and Ukyou 
were off in one corner of the living room, and Rod and Kodachi were kissing
in another.

Ryouga managed to catch Kasumi's attention, "Where's Akane-san?"

Kasumi smiled, "Well, Akane-chan is asleep ... She wasn't too happy before,
so she's resting."

Ryouga nodded, "Thank you. Well, I may as well wait for her..."

Kasumi nodded absently and went into the kitchen. Ian followed her.

[Akane's Room]

Akane, trying to sleep, continued growling beneath her breath, her fists
clenched, "Ranma no baka... you insensitive jerk... all you ever do it say
mean stuff about me ... leave me for your other girlfriends ... yell at
me... make me cry ... you're so mean ... stupid jerk ... I won't cry ...
Ranma no ... baka ..."

She continued to growl, this time the words punctuated by sobs.

[The Doujou]

**** The author glares at you, "Now ... read this with BOTH hands on the
**** keyboard!"

Ranma suddenly sat up and blushed deeply, "No, I gotta thing of Akane, she's
my iinazuke and all... so I can't do this! It's wrong..."

Caroline whispered, "Come over here..."

She was sitting on a couch that had suddenly appeared in the middle of the
doujou.

Ranma erked, "Why?!"

With a wicked grin, she whispered, "Because I asked you to?"

Ranma, looking rather confused, moved over to her, "Err?" But his body knew
what it wanted, even if his mind didn't... he stood before her. "What
now?" he asked, his brain starting to heat up.

Caroline smiled up at him as she reclined back on the couch, "What do you 
think?"

He blinked, "Eh?"

Smiling seductivly, she mouthed, "What do you think I want you to do?"

Ranma looking more uncomfortable, mumbled, "I dunno..."

"Take a guess..."

Ranma just glumped.

Caroline winked, "Come down here and join me..."

He sat down on the couch... She moved up to him and stroked his thigh. As
his body wanted one thing, his mind tried to regain control... failing
miserably, his brain started to smoke.

Caroline sat up and leaned closer to him, "Your brain is smoking..."

Ranma blushed at her nearness and said the first thing that popped into his
over-heated mind, "I don't smoke... Bad for you..."

Caroline giggled and ran her finger tips over his ears, "But your ears seem to 
be..."

"Eh?" Ranma blinked in confusion as Caroline's seduction started to take over.
His mind power slipped further and further away...

Caroline stroked his ears lightly, "Either smoke or steam... I'm not sure..."

"Um...er..." With one brave attempt, his mind gained a little ground from his
libido, "What are you doing...?"

Caroline blew lightly against one of his ears, clearing the smoke away, "Just 
cleaning the air a little..."

Ranma shivered, trying desperately to think of how Akane would react if she
saw him now... "We shouldn't be doing this..."

"Sou ka?" She ran the tip of her tongue over his ear slowly...

Ranma shivered again, his will power quickly fading...

Caroline ran a fingertip over the skin of his neck, "Relax..."

Ranma gave her a dazed look, "B..but what about Akane...?"

Caroline lifted a leg and rested it over his lap... "Just relax... She'll
thank me for this later..."

Ranma looked at the leg on his lap, "Um... are you sure?"

Caroline rubbed her leg lightly against his, "Hai, I'm sure..."

Ranma stared at the leg, "Did you just say something?"

Caroline smiled to herself and lifted the skirt (that she was suddenly dressed
in) a little to show off more leg, "Don't worry... But you just said that you
would do whatever I wanted..."

Ranma, even more confused, continued staring at her long, smooth leg, "I don't 
think I'd forget skirting something leg that..."

He coughed, "Er, I don't think I'd forget SAYING something LIKE that..."

Caroline giggled and lifted the skirt higher, "I'm sure you wouldn't..."

Ranma blushed, "Um...are you trying to seduce me?"

Caroline smiles innocently into his blushing face, "Would I do that?"

Ranma just stammered.

Lifting the skirt higher, she bared enough skin for him to see whole her leg. 
Slowly, she started to run her hand lightly against her inner thigh, "Mmm..."
Ranma gulped, not being able to take his eyes from the soft, smooth skin
that she was stroking...

Caroline mmmmed a little more and continued lightly stroking her soft skin, 
sliding her hand up towards herself, driving Ranma's libido higher.

Ranma gulped again, "I don't thigh...think you should be doing this..."

Caroline lay back on the couch, moving her other leg onto his lap... lifting 
the first one up into the air... her hand still stroking, "Sou ka?" Her skirt 
fell down to rest around her hips ... hiding everything but her long, sexy 
legs... She slid her hands up and down that leg, slowly, watching Ranma as
he watch her... she licked her lips slowly...

Swallowing hard, Ranma moaned, "Caroline..."

Caroline mmmms, "Ranma..."

Caroline lowered her leg, and slowly raised the other one... her skirt moved 
just enough so that Ranma caught a glimpse of her panties. She smiled to 
herself, her hand running up to her stomach, then up and over her breasts,
her eyes still gauging his reaction. When he was ready for a little more, she 
reached up and undid the very top button of her top, exposing a little more 
of her cleavage... Ranma gulped again, staring...

Ranma moaned again, "I...I should go..." But he knew he wouldn't leave.

Caroline smiled again and undid the second button... lowering her leg to rub 
it against his... She whispered softly, "You should stay..."

Ranma whimpered, unable to stop staring at her, "Th-this is wrong... What a..
about A-Akane..."

Caroline smiled and undid the third button, exposing her soft breasts, but 
still covering her nipples ... all he could see were the rounded curves, 
"It's right..."

Ranma's mouth flapped, "...."

Caroline slid her leg a little sideways... and nudged the bulge in his
pants... "Mmm... you want me ... I want you ... it's right..." She stroked a 
hand over one of her breasts, and smiles up at him...

He was rendered speechless ... unable to think any more... he just wanted
her.

Caroline sat up and straddled his lap, sliding her arms around his neck. She
kissed his ear, and felt him trembling beneath her. Leaning against him, she
pressed her torso lightly against his .... her partly covered breasts gently
pressing against his chest... Gazing into his eyes, she knew he was ready.
She pulled him back with her, onto the couch... His lips met hers and they
started kissing ... his hands moved over her, stripping her and himself... 

And they made passionate love on the couch, in the middle of the doujou.

Caroline smiled, leaning against him. Her fingertip stroked his manly chest,
"Mmmm... wonderful..."

Ranma grinned goofily, "Yeah, you're telling me." But he had thought of
doing that with Akane the whole time, as Caroline had known he would.

She leaned over and kissed him lightly on the lips, "Now, if you think that
*that* was good ... try it with someone you're actually in LOVE with."

Ranma's grin faded and he sat up, "Akan...I mean, I don't have anyone else
I want to do that with. Shampoo's too ... eager for my liking. Ucchan's just
an old friend, you know. And Kodachi?" Ranma shuddered.

Caroline smiled and rolled away from him, standing up on the tatami mats. She
picked up her clothing and slowly got dressed, "Go to Akane, Ranma. You and
she could be a thousand times more happy together than you are now."

With that, she slipped out and left Ranma to dress, alone with his thoughts.
The last words she heard were, "Akane ... I... I *do* love her," followed
by a stunned silence.

**** 6 drinks if anyone besides Nabiki gets involved with the author

[Ice-Skating Rink]

Chris, capable of movement again, had Azusa in his arms, and they walked
together towards the doujou. There was no way that Azusa would let her
dear Frederick out of her sight for even a moment!

[Tendou-ke]

Ranma slowly entered the living room. He blinked.

Ukyou was in Kevin's arms, kissing madly. Shampoo was just about ripping off
her Chinese dress with need to put into action what James was whispering in
her ear. Kodachi and Rod were all but making love on the floor. 

Nabiki and Alex took one look at Ranma, and made a quick exit upstairs to
Nabiki's room.

Ranma stood still in shock. "..."

The girls didn't even notice him.

Trying to say something, Ranma cleared his throat.

The girls were too busy.

He tried again. "I... I..."

This time Ukyou noticed his voice. She sighed and broke off her kiss with
Kevin, "Hi, Ran-chan. I'm sorry, but Kevin here is sooooo much more cool
and clever and smart than you. I've just got to have him."

"..."

Kodachi added her voice, though she didn't stop what she was doing, "Me, too,
Ranma-sama! Rod is sooooooo good!"

"..."

Shampoo ripped off her dress and jumped on James.

"..."

With that said and done, Ranma, still in shock, left for his room.

[Outside]

Chris and Azusa reached the Tendou-ke. Idly, Chris wondered what Mikado was
doing, and if he wanted his skating partner back, but he knew that he would
never get her back ... well, at least for tonight.

[Kunou-ke]

Kunou stared at the pictures of Akane and the female Ranma. "Oh, I love you
both, my Akane and my osage-no-onna! How I wish that you would both live 
with me..."

[Nekohanten]

Mousse sat down in his room. He sighed, wondering why Shampoo hadn't come
back from the Tendou residence. But Cologne had over-worked him, and he
fell back on his bed, fast asleep, whispering, "Shampoo... I love you..."

[Tendou-ke, Living Room]

Shampoo, without even a thought about Mousse, slithered all over James,
trying to rip off his clothing in her passion.

James' hands searched Shampoo's body as she stripped him. Their lips
met and the purple-headed Amazon started grinding her hips against his,
even though he was still half dressed.

Ukyou, Kodachi, Kevin and Rod watched them for a moment, then got ideas
of their own. Ukyou and Kevin snuck off to a corner and started doing
things that are illegal in some states. Kodachi and Rod were worse. Rod
just grinned as Kodachi dressed herself in a black latex and rubber
bondage mistress outfit, complete with whip and ropes.

Kodachi tied Rod down, somehow, to the floor and uncoiled her whip. She
laughed insanely and eyes him, her eyes filled with lust. She raised the
whip and <CENSORED>

**** The author blinks in shock, "HEY! I'm not in the US! How DARE that
**** damned government do that to those ten pages of the really sexy,
**** explicit, hentai Kodachi-Rod/Ukyou-Kevin/Shampoo-James orgy! They
**** even cut out the scene with the porcupine and the whipped cream
**** and the Elvis look-a-like!" *sob* After crying for a while, the
**** author sighs, "At least they let this bit through....."

Suddenly twin girls burst into the room, yelling, "Shampoo, we kill!
Over!"

Shampoo, too busy with James, didn't even notice... As the girls started to
attack, two drop dead gorgeous, sexy men appeared from nowhere. They glomp
onto a girl each, and start kissing.

The twin girls, Pink and Rink, could do naught but kiss back. Before too
long, they were on the floor, enjoying themselves in the orgy with the new
men... Mike Loader and Stephen Halloran took them to heights of pleasure
never before experienced by the twins... <CENSORED>

Rod shook his head and gazed up at Kodachi, "It's just not the same as 
leather..."

<CENSORED>

Mike, Pink, Stephen and Rink, all rather rumpled and happy, stepped outside
onto Pink and Rink's magic, flying flower ... It took off, and they all
disappeared into the night sky.

Kodachi and Rod lay naked, their hands still stroking each other's bodies
and their lips kissing in passionate, savage kisses. "Mm... this is even
better than the leather, Kodachi-chan..." Rod whispered in her ear.
Kodachi laughed.

Ukyou and Kevin, in their little corner of the room, now, panted softly,
both hot, sweaty and naked, snuggling each other... Kevin's hand gently
cupping Ukyou's sex, enjoying the feeling of her sauce drying under his
fingers. He kissed her gently and smiles, "Now... what IS the secret
ingredient that goes into your special sauce?" Ukyou blushed.

Shampoo, fainted from her explosive multi-orgasms, lay against James. He
just grinned and started up at the roof, his hands behind his head, "Oh,
that girl is one wild girl."

**** The author looks suspiciously at you, "You sure you kept both hands in
**** plain sight?"

As everyone else fell asleep, the entire FFML and RAAC readership started 
smoking cigarettes and staring up at the living room roof. "Mmmm... sex 
with Ranma characters." Each of them all alone in their little fantasy 
world with the Ranma character (or a multitude thereof) of their choice.

[Tendou-ke, Akane's Room]

Akane slept fitfully, her dreams half nightmares of Ranma teasing her.

Quietly, Caroline slipped into Akane's room. She changed and quickly got in
her futon, on the floor near Akane's bed. Soon, she fell asleep.

**** The author GLARES at you, "No, I am NOT having a sex scene with Akane,
**** kono sukebe!"

[Tendou-ke, Nabiki's Room]

Alex and Nabiki sneaked into Nabiki's room. As soon as the door was shut,
they were on each other, kissing and fondling each other. Their lips met
as they pressed themselves against each other, both trying to strip the
other of their clothing...

Nabiki reached down and worked at Alex's pants as he worked at her shirt.
But before too long, Nabiki gave up. Her hand slipped down into his pants
and grabbed his hot, stiff <CENSORED>

**** "Oh, no ... not again ... *sniffle* And this one was such a *good*
**** scene!! My work! Ruined!!! Waaaaaaaaaaaaah!!!!" The author goes
**** away and sulks.

They both fell asleep on Nabiki's bed, drenched in sweat, their many
marital aids spread around the room.

The vidcam finally ran out of tape.

[Tendou-ke, Saotome Guest Room]

Nodoka and Genma slept peacefully on their futon, far in one corner of the
room. 

**** 1 drink for each appearance of the following people: Nodoka

Ranma, in his futon, stared at the roof, trying not to think of what he had
seen. He, the man who was God's gift to women, had been dumped by three 
girls in one night. He would have been angry, if only the guys that he had
lost to hadn't been so cool.

Ranma sighed and turned over.

[Tendou-ke, Bathroom]

Chris, sensing weirdness in the living room, took Azusa for a detour. They
wandered down the hallway, Azusa still glomped happily onto his arm. With
a grin, Chris lead her to the bathroom. "Want to see something REALLY
cute, Azusa-chan?"

Azusa-chan's eyes opened wider, "Ooooh! Haihai! Azusa-chan wants to see!"

Drawing her into the bathroom, Chris kissed her. Azusa mmmmed ever so
softly, her eyes closing ...

Breaking the kiss, Chris stroked her arm gently, "Take off your clothes,
and we'll have a bath together. I'll show you the cute thing while we're
in the bath, getting warm."

Giggling, Azusa nodded and kawaiily threw off her clothes. Chris almost
fainted, not really ready for this, but recovered without a nose bleed.
The ice-skater made her way, nimbly, to the bathroom itself, and hopped
into the already-filled bath.

Chris smiled and undressed. He made sure to wrap a towel around his waist,
and entered the bathroom. He picked up the tub that Azusa had used to
splash herself before entering the hot bath, and splashed himself. Then
he slid into the hot water, next to her...

Azusa gazed up at him with big, blue eyes, "Where is Azusa-chan's new
kawaii pet?!"

Chris took her hand ... "Just let me show you..."

Slowly, he slid her hand under the water to ... Chris moaned as he felt
her hand close around his manhood, "Ohhhh... there, Azusa-chaaaaan..."

Azusa almost squealed with delight, "Ooooh! It feels sooooooooo kawaii!
Can Azusa-chan see her?"

Chris' eyes half closed, "Mmmmm... Play gently with it, and you can see
it as *much* as you want.

As Azusa's hand started fondling him, Chris moans and sank a little deeper
into the tub.... and let his hips and legs float up to the top of the
water...

His eyes snapped open at another squeal from Azusa, "MARIANNE-CHAN!!!!!
You're so cute that Azusa-chan wants to EAT you *all* up!"

His eyes bulged as she *glomped* onto his sensitive member, "Aaaaaaaah!"

Chris fainted.

Azusa started 'playing' with her new pet, as well as most of the rest of
Chris' body as he fainted, until she fell asleep, her hand still holding
tightly onto his manhood...

[Tendou-ke, Souun's Room]

Souun slept, dreaming ... for some reason ... of the woman, Hinako. Maybe it
was something to do with the noises from the living room ... but, she was
doing things to him he hadn't even *thought* about since his wife died.

[Tendou-ke, Kitchen]

Kasumi smiled sweetly at Ian, who was leaning against the kitchen table.
"Would you like something?"

Ian grinned and brushed back his hair, "Why don't you whip me up something
special, Kasumi-san?"

A small frown wrinked Kasumi's smooth forehead as she hummed to herself,
"Oh? If you wish."

She opened one of the drawers and took out an egg beater. She turned to
him and smiled, "Will this do?"

Ian raised an eyebrow.

Then she took out a blender. And she found a spatula... a cup ... a bottle
of whipped cream ... and various other kitchen appliances. She hummed to
herself as she tied Ian to the table with the an extension cord. She
carefully picked up a knife and gave him a kawaii, innocent smile. "Now
to make you absolutely delicious - a nice meal for one."

She started slicing off his clothing.

Ian almost fainted, mumbling, "Oh, my..."

**** "I give up. Hentai!"

[The Garden]

Yawning, you climb into the tree. Settling yourself for the night, where
Ranma slept on occasion, you close your eyes. Tomorrow you would make
your appearance. No-one in Nerima would be safe. You drift off to sleep...
Your mind filled with images of the Nerimian of your dreams.

[Morning]

Another day started in Nerima. The sun shone brightly... the sparrows chirped
happily... The people in the Tendou Doujou started to awaken.

[Tendou-ke, Akane's Room]

Caroline yawned, sitting up. She looked over at Akane, who was still asleep,
then sneaked out of bed. She got her things and made her way to the bathroom
for her morning bath.

[Lost]

Ryouga wandered into a white tiled room. Two half naked people, who were just
awakening, cried out with surprise, grabbed their things, and ran off.

Luckily for the lost boy, he didn't see enough for a nose bleed.

Ryouga blinked, <Strange... Hmm, I wonder where I am? It's not one of those
love motels, is it? I HATE it when I end up in them ... Oh, well. May as well
have a bath while I'm here.>

[Tendou-ke, Living Room]

Eventually the three couples managed to wake up after their strenuous night
of heat and passion. Only Shampoo couldn't dress due to the fact that her
Chinese mini was ripped up all over the floor. But she didn't mind as long
as she was with James.

[Tendou-ke, Bathroom]

Caroline hummed softly to herself as she wandered downstairs with her towel
draped over her shoulder. She opened the door to the changing room and
flipped the sign to show 'occupied'. 

She stripped and picked up the wash cloth and entered the bathroom.

Ryouga saw her before she noticed him. With a muffled groan he pinched his
nose, desperately trying to stop a nosebleed.

Then Caroline spied Ryouga. <Ohhh... Ryouga ... it's your turn, sweetie!>

**** The author grins, "*I*'m keeping this part for myself. Nyaaaa! You
**** lot can't read it!"

She snuggled happily, in the warm bath water, again Ryouga, "But, you
know ... however much fun that was, I'll be going home some time ...
You really need to find a girl here for yourself. After all, when you
get lost, it's not likely you'll stumble across me *all* the time."

Ryouga gave a little sigh, then smiled, "Well ... There is Akari-chan...
She ... I really like her."

Caroline nodded and kissed his nose, "Just keep this little meeting a
secret, like you keep the P-chan thing a secret from Akane."

"H...how did you know about that?!"

She grinned and stood up, climbing up out of the bath, "I know more than
you think. Come on, give up on Akane and let her marry Ranma. You and
Akari will be happy together."

Ryouga blushed and followed her out of the bath, "H...hai ... I must find
Akari-chan..."

They both headed for the changing room to dry and dress... And Ryouga
promptly got lost, trying to find the front door. Caroline sighed, shook
her head and left him. <He needs to find her on his own.>

**** 6 drinks if anyone besides Nabiki gets involved with the author
**** (Again!)

[Outside]

Kunou and Mousse both looked at each other.

"What are you doing here at the beauteous Akane's house?" asked Kunou.

Mousse frowned, adjusting his glasses, "Shampoo didn't return from visiting
Saotome last night. He must have done something to her!" He clenched his
fists.

Kunou's eyes widened, "Not only has he Akane Tendou and my osage no onna,
but the vile lech has taken your woman, too? He must pay!"

Mousse grinned without mirth, "Exactly what I was thinking."

They both charged into the Tendou-ke.

[Tendou-ke, Hallway]

Ranma, who was just coming downstairs, yelped as he was suddenly attacked by 
a mass of flying chains and miscellaneous items, followed closely by bokken 
strikes. He dodged the attacks easily, "Hey! What're doing?!"

"What did you do with Shampoo, you pervert?!"

"AND with Akane and my osage-no-onna, too?"

Ranma continued to dodge the other two as they attacked him, "What're you
talking about? I didn't do anything to *anyon... ANY of them!"

Mousse growled and punched at Ranma, metal claws popping out from his sleeve
as he did so, "Why didn't Shampoo come home last night??"

Finally, Ranma remembered. He roundhouse kicked Mousse in the face as he
dodged the punch, "She's after some other guy, alright?! Last time I saw her,
she was in the living room!"

Ranma turned and ducked under Kunou's strikes, then upper cutted him, "And I
LOVE Akane, and I didn't do ANYTHING to her!"

The two attackers crumpled to the floor, and Ranma stood still, breathing
heavily. It was then that he realised that someone was behind him, on the
steps. <Oh, damn... and I just yelled that out...>

Slowly he turned. He looked up. His eyes met a pair of deep brown eyes. The
beautiful eyes stared back, in shock.

"R..r...ranma..."

Ranma blushed, "A..akane."

Akane felt her knees weaken, "D..do you mean what you said...?"

Slowly, Ranma moved up the steps to her, remembering his conversation with
Caroline. <Better? Is she right...? Well ... lets see...> He took her hand 
in his, "I love you, Akane. Will you marry me?"

Akane fainted.

[A few moments later]

Souun started crying, "Waaaaaah! What did you do to my daughter?!"

"I didn't do anything!" Ranma protested as he helped put Akane to bed.

Nodoka looked sternly at her son, "You sure you didn't do anything to hurt
her?"

Ranma glared at the parents in the room, "No way. I wouldn't hurt my 
fiancee!"

Genma frowned, then shrugged, "Well, you just look after her. We have to go
and train the new students."

Souun nodded, "Right, Saotome-kun. Yet another student is due to arrive for
classes today."

Nodoka sighed, "I wish you would tell me things like this in advance. I will
have to go help Kasumi make dinner for yet another student."

The three parents turned and walked out, talking amongst themselves.

Ranma stayed by Akane's bedside, waiting for her to awaken.

[Garden]

Having awoken hours before, you continue to observe the goings on in the
Tendou household. <Well ... if THEY can do this ... *MY* appearance will
cause quite a sensation... Mmm... Especially when I meet -- >

Your thoughts are cut off by the procession of gaijin to the doujou. Not
to mention the sight of a naked Shampoo. "Oh, boy..."

[The Doujou]

The students of the doujou, Kodachi, Ukyou and a naked Shampoo stood around,
waiting for training to commence. Nabiki hung around, by the door, watching
the guys, mostly staring at their cute butts.

Suddenly, in a flash of light, a new student appeared. He gave a sheepish
smile, "Sorry about that, I got a little carried away with the flash powder."

Souun blinked. Genma frowned. Nabiki thought, <Wow, another sexy guy! If I
wasn't so involved with Alex, I'd let him jump me *any* day ... for a small
fee.> The others just shrugged amongst themselves.

"Err... I'm John Biles, anyway. Sorry I was late... I sort of slept in..."
John said, "So I better practice extra hard - sleep makes you weak!"

**** The author sighs, "I should never have let John near this 'fic... All
**** the excitement gets to his head..."

**** Take three more sips ... Jimbo-chan is here.

Shampoo giggled, "Shampoo show pretty man how sleep can make STRONG man!
You get tons exercise sleep Shampoo. Want try?"

James raised an eyebrow. Shampoo turned to him and glomped onto his arm,
"Shampoo just joking."

Genma shrugged, "Well, let's get to it..."

The gaijin students started sparring together, making even Happousai's moves
seem weak and slow.

As the teachers watched their students, Souun smiled, "You know, Saotome-kun,
these students are better than your son."

Genma nodded, "True. If he wants to take over the doujou, he'll have to work
harder."

Souun sighed, "Perhaps Ranma shouldn't take over the doujou, after all. You
know that we need to have a great martial artist as the head of the Musabetsu
Kakuto Ryuu."

The other teacher looked at his friend, "What about our promise? Nodoka will
have my head if I don't have Ranma marry Akane."

Souun stared ahead, "Well, Saotome-kun, we didn't say *which* daughter he had
to marry."

A smile crossed over Genma's features, "True. Then we will have our families
united as WELL as handing the schools over to a true martial artist, 
Tendou-kun."

"Yes. And Akane will marry one of these wonderful, young men."

Genma nodded, "Agreed."

The two friends smiled at each other, then went back to tending their class.

[Tendou Doujou, Akane's Room]

A dazed Ryouga stumbled into the room, "Akari-chan...? Where are you...?"

Ranma looked up and glared at Ryouga, "Get out of my fiancee's room!"

Ryouga's eyes opened wide. He stared for a moment at the sleeping Akane,
then Ranma, as he sat by her bed, "WHAT DID YOU DO TO AKANE-SAN?!?!"

With that, Ranma jumped up, "Nothing! Just you get out of her room, or else
I'll make sure she knows who P-chan REALLY is!"

Stepping back into a fighting posture, Ryouga growled, "Teme...."

Ranma leaped at Ryouga, and they started fighting. Before too long, they
both jumped out of the window and ... landed in the pond leaving a sopping
wet girl and piglet floundering in the water.

[A Little Later]

John opened the door, and looked in, "This doesn't look like the room where
I should be staying ..."

He blinked. His eyes, drawn to the bed, lingered on Akane's sleeping face.
<K...kawaii...>

He ran a hand through his ash blond hair, and the sun caught a few strands,
turning them to molten gold. It glinted from his glasses, only serving to
highlight his large, hazel eyes. <I need to talk to her... even for a
moment...>

He made his way into Akane's bedroom, his sexy body moving with a fluid
grace - the movements of a perfectly trained martial artist. Under the
gi he was wearing, his muscles strained against the tight material, showing
his perfect body off to best advantage. With a smile, he leaned over and
kissed Akane's cheek ...

Slowly, her eyelids fluttered open, "R...ranma....?" 

Suddenly she sat bolt upright, a blush covering her pretty face, <Oh, he's
amazing ... kakkoi...> She managed to find a voice, "W...who are you?"

A sparkling smile flashed across his face, "My name's John Biles... But
you can call me Jimbo."

**** "Hey! You are NOT Junta! Get away from that Fairy Dust! It's laced
**** with Passion Spice!"

Akane's eyes opened slightly wider for a moment, then she half fainted
back on the bed, "Oh, take me now, Jimbo-chan..."

**** The author buries her head in her hands, "Too late...."

He grinned and pulled a few books and papers out of his ever present book
bag. "Hmm... What shall we do first? Here's the Fulle Illustrated Kama 
Sutra... A few Tantra books... Love in Ancient China... Sexual Techniques
of Persia... Song of Solomon... the whole Ranma Nibun no Ichi series...
The Joy of Sex... - "

Akane interrupted him with a kiss. "Mmmm... do the Peacock preening over
the young Fawn on the swing under the Pomegranate Tree..."

Jimbo dumped the books and nodded. Stripping each other, Akane arched her
back, moving her supple body into a back bend, and John knelt in front of
her, his hands sliding up to entwine with her arms, a leg slipping behind
hers. He bent over and started to run his tongue over her navel ... and
as he felt her shiver, he plunged his <CENSORED>

**** "Waaah... they did it again!!" ;_; "And now everyone gets to miss
**** out on graphic descriptions of The Poodle Meets the Lamp Post and
**** The Hummingbird Hovers over the Flower as he Sips and Hovers and
**** The Dance of the Elephant and the Gazelle and ......

**** If there's a Kama Sutra ref, 3 drinks

**** If Caroline's writings are mentioned, 3 drinks :-)

Jimbo helped her down from the trapeze hanging on the roof and smiled.
"You know... you should really stop calling out Ranma's name while you're
with another guy."

She blinked and sat down on the edge of the bed. "I... I'm sorry... But..."

John started redressing and shook his head slowly. "But you were thinking
of Ranma because you're in love with him." He gave a little sigh as he saw
tears shimmering in her eyes, starting to fall.

Akane smiled up at the ceiling, a few tears still steaming down her cheeks,
"So ... I really *do* love Ranma..."

John nodded, brushing a strand of hair away from her damp forehead, "Hai,
so you should tell him. He's your fiancee, after all."

She sighed a little and sat up, still filled with euphoria from the last
moments of her lingering orgasm, "Thank you, John..."

She gave a smile and kissed his cheek, "Let's both go downstairs for 
lunch. I'll ... talk to Ranma after that."

With a nod, John handed her her clothing. Both of them dressed, ready to 
join the others for lunch.

[Living Room]

Kasumi served lunch and the students (bar John) and the family sat down
to eat. The female Ranma sat, grumbling a little as she ate, wishing to
be upstairs to see if Akane would awaken. 

P-chan had wandered off to find Akari, the love of his life. As he left 
the building, a really pumped up and sexy guy in a black, leather hat
turned up. "Ryouga! I'll take you to find Akari!" Sean Gaffney scooped 
up P-chan in his arms and ran off, in the morning air, towards Akari's 
house... A black and white dog watched him running off with her master. 
<Well, at least someone ELSE can do my job for a change!> she thought, 
then curled up, with her cute little puppies, and fell asleep, happy not 
to have to take Ryouga home.

Everyone else ate.

Finally Souun nudged Genma, "Did you think about which student we should
choose?"

Genma nodded, "Well, I was looking at the students, and the one most
suitable to the Musabetsu Kakuto Ryuu was John."

"Hmmm. I think you're right, Saotome-kun. Everyone, I have an announcement
to make," Souun declared, standing up.

Nodoka blinked, looking inquiringly at her husband.

Souun cleared his throat, "Well... We have decided to break off the 
engagement between Ranma and Akane. Akane, from now on, is engaged to
John Biles."

Ranma was so stunned that she stopped eating.

Genma smiled, "And Ranma shall be engaged to either Kasumi or Nabiki, to
keep my promise to Tendou-kun."

The rice bowl fell out of Ranma's hand ... time seemed to slow down, and
the bowl turned over and over as it fell ... Ranma could see each and
every movement in slow motion ... the silence was overwhelming.

It hit the table, rice spilling everywhere. Then reality snapped back.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!" Ranma cried out.

Jumping up, Ranma ran off, out of the Tendou-ke.

Genma and Souun blinked. There was silence around the table.

Kasumi looked after Ranma, smiling sweetly, "Well... Ranma took that 
well."

It was at that point that a rather flushed looking Akane and John entered
the room.

Akane blinked, "Nani? What's going on?"

[Moments Later]

Souun and Genma were both unconscious, in a heap, at the table. Well, the
table had MADE them into a crumpled heap and was still on top of them,
where Akane had left it.

Nodoka shook her head, "They had that coming."

Akane stormed off to find Ranma.

Nabiki sighed and gave a shrug. Kasumi happily cleaned up what was left
of lunch. All of the students gaped at the two unconscious men, in shock.
Shampoo, Kodachi, Ukyou and Azusa blinked a few times.

**** The author feels a sudden chill in the air ... and somewhere in
**** Japan, a family altar breaks in half... something evil is about to
**** happen........

Suddenly a horde of people materialised from no-where.

"Hey! Is this the doujou, yet?" cried a guy with a really bad hair-cut.

"Hai, this is the Tendou doujou," Kasumi smiled at the new guests.

A few of the people looked like they were twins or triplettes. Another
seemed to have fur ... was a werewolf. A guy in overalls. Some REALLY
weird people in over-the-top, theatrical capes. A wizard. And a multitude
of lurkers and faceless minions.

"Cool! How's Ranma and Akane's marriage getting on? Still in bed all day
and night?" One of the men winked.

Caroline frowned, "They're not married yet..."

The guy with a guitar grumbled, "Great, the wrong reality. Again."

One of his triplets sighed, "Jason to Enterprise, time to beam --"

He was cut off by the twin girls, "Hey! It's us!"

Caroline blinked. The girls were *exactly* like her. Mirror images, 
in fact.

A man, on a cool motorbike for some reason, stared, "Wow, another one
of them! Hey, Jason, we can still get lucky!"

He was shut up by the girls as they repeatedly bapped him into the ground.

A man with a sad look in his eyes and bad hair eyed the people filling the 
room, "Will I ever get someone to love me...? I wish I was a real girl..."

Another man sighed, looking over at Ukyou, "Ucchan....."

Caroline, awestruck, was suddenly tapped on the shoulder by two girls who
bore a striking resemblance to Ukyou.

"Ummm... Excuse me, but may I use your bathroom? I haveta go bad..."
muttered one of the Ukyou clones.

The other Ukyou clone tugged on her friend's sleeve. "You should have done
that before we left, oneechan..." she whispered.

"Come on, Jason, stop drooling. Let's get out of here." Yet another guy
spoke up.

The one called Jason seemed to sigh and nodded, "Alright, Kenji. We're out
of here."

"Just get us out of here before THIS Nabiki tries to contract me..." sighed
one in overalls.

The werewolf patted his shoulder. Nabiki blinked.

~<( Sorry about this... )>~

"Beam us out of here, now," Jason ordered into the thin air.

The whole group of strange individuals disappeared with a strange light.

The occupants of the room blinked a few times after the people. 

Kasumi's eyes lit upon the floor where they had been standing. Somehow
it was a total mess, almost like there had been a fight or something.
Chaos. Worse than chaos. There was GRIT all over the tatami mats. She
didn't think that the vacuum would be able to get it out.

**** Finish off the glass... you'll probably need it after that. O_o

[Outside]

Akane caught up to Ranma and placed a hand on onna Ranma's arm, "R..ranma."

She had been attacking the large tree, as if it was a training post.
All of Ranma's anger and pain had been taken out on the tree... But she
stopped as soon as she sensed Akane drawing near.

Not turning to face her ex-iinazuke, Ranma stared at the ground. Akane
could feel Ranma trembling, "Ranma... I... I need to talk to you."

"What is it, Akane?"

Akane could hear the half sob that threatened to choke Ranma's voice as
she spoke, trying her best to sound normal.

"Ranma ... I need to answer your question ... from before."

"What does it matter, now? Your father has engaged you to ... to some
other guy. I couldn't even fight any of them. They're all better fighters.
They're better looking. They could protect you where I couldn't. I...
I'm a half man. I'm not good enough for you."

"But, Ranma... I love you."

Ranma blinked and turned to her. Her blue eyes were full of shock, "A...
Akane...?"

Akane threw her arms around the one she loved, not caring that they were
both women. "I love you, Ranma! I want to marry you!"

Ranma's arms tightened around Akane's slim waist and she held her tightly
to her, "You do...? Oh, Akane. I love you, too..."

They stared at each other, their tear filled eyes meeting ... And they
kissed.

From within the household, the soft sound of many people cheering while
trying to be quiet, floated on the wind. And a 'Finally!' came from the
branch of the tree. But neither Akane nor Ranma heard ... They were too 
busy exploring their kiss, and their love.

**** If Ranma and Akane confess their undying love, 1 drink

**** If it's not an alternate universe, 5 drinks

**** If they *mean* it, chug

[That Night, Doujou]

That night, the Tendou and Saotome families celebrated Ranma and Akane's
real engagement. The students, Ukyou, Azusa, Kodachi and Shampoo, Kunou and
Mousse, and even Ryouga and Akari had all gathered. Even the rest of 
Nerima had turned up. Gosunkugi, Mikado, Tsubasa, Konatsu, Herb, Mint and
Lime and even Pansuto Tarou and Rouge showed up! The doujou was full ... 
The place was rather festive, and a karaoke machine was set up in the 
corner.

**** 1 drink for each appearance of the following people: Gosunkugi,
**** Mikado, Tsubasa, Konatsu, Akari, Herb

It was only then that you turned up.

Akane smiled, "Oh, thank you for coming... with you here, it makes the
whole evening worth while!" She turned and hugged Ranma, "Ne, Ranma?"

With a slightly embarrassed grin, Ranma nodded, "Without you here, none of
this would have happened!"

Souun and Genma, already at the sake, didn't bother to notice. But the
rest of the party goers did. *Everyone* had their eyes on you... Seeing
your perfect countenance, your charm and grace. Yes, they all wanted
you... Perfect. Most of them blushed at the reaction you caused in them.

You grinned, looking around. Everything had turned out perfectly... Now, 
if only you could get into bed with the one you want the most... But 
tonight was filled with promise - alcohol, lots of food, good music ... 
and your charm and great looks. You knew that tonight was the night. Your 
darling would end up in your arms ... No-one could keep them from you...

Nodoka and Kasumi served the food, everyone else intent on partying.

The girls had all gathered together, chatting and giggling. The guys were
nearby, watching the girls and talking. All of them flashing quick,
secret glances at you.

Tonight was perfect. You had one wish ... And being here, you knew it 
would come true. As your eyes lit upon the object of your love and 
passion ... your heart beat faster. They were smiling back at you. Yes,
tonight was definitely the night.

Caroline started singing karaoke, singing 'The Hentai of the Doujou' to
the Phantom music. Happousai bounced past and tried to glomp onto her.
Without even missing a note, she punted Happi out, through the roof.

Shampoo, drunk, knocked over a glass of water. As the droplets splashed
over her still naked form, she changed ... And a kawaii, drunk neko
tipsily wandered out of the doujou ... out into the street. A passing
tom-cat, sensing the female cat, followed her. The tom gave a catty 
smile to himself. He could smell that she was in heat.

Shampoo-neko, drunk and ready for another round of sex, spied the cat.
She licked her neko-lips. After a whole day of abstaining from James'
body, she was ready for more ... the tom would do.

The cats met ... and yowling filled the night air.

Back inside, you were getting very aquainted with your love. You knew that
tonight was the night. Slowly, you and your chosen one disappear ... ready
for a night of pure enjoyment with the one you love. No-one else would
miss either of you. With a grin, you concentrate on your love....

**** "No I am NOT writing your love scene!" The author pouts, "I'm not so
**** ecchi that I know YOUR tastes!"

**** Drink till you actually write your own hentai scene to send to the ML.
**** ... or just go away and enjoy in the privacy of your own room... ^^;;;

Happousai bounced back in the room and stared at all the girls, "Sweeto!"

As he tried to glomp onto Caroline, the gaijin students all beat him to a
bloody pulp of strawberry jam all over the doujou walls... and floor...
and ceiling... and windows......

The party warms up.

**** If someone dies, 1 drink

**** If Happousai dies, 5 drinks and send the author a cheque

**** The author also accepts cash! Just write to her and get your donation
**** ready... Also, send money in for her NOT to write something like this
**** again! She needs to get to an anime 'con next year!

Rod picked a song on the karaoke machine and picks up a microphone from out
of no-where. The music began to play, and he started to sing ... "Dancing 
queeeeeeeee*ack*!"

Rod was cut off as everyone punted him into orbit, "NO ABBA!!!"

<etc>

Before the party finished, you and your lover return, sneaking in. Both
of you were rather rumpled, but no-one noticed - the party was still in 
full swing.

As the night changed to dawn, the birds started chirping in the trees...
The party started to die down, and the Neramians and students started to
get sleepy... the music continued, but people paired off and found nice,
comfortable places to talk, alone ... before too long, some people started
drifting off to sleep in each others arms. Even you drifted off... The
karaoke machine's music softened ... and people slept.

Ranma and Akane left, both disappearing upstairs to Akane's bedroom.

**** If the story resolves a relationship, 2 drinks

**** If everyone lives happily ever after, 3 drinks (Happi doesn't count!)

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ranma Nibunnoichi - Gaijin in Nerima!                              [Epilogue]
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

[A Few Months Later]

Shampoo went into labour. It was rather early, as  she thought that she was
only a few months pregnant. Her dreams, recently, had been filled with
images of boys and girls, all looking like James and herself. Images of a
happy family life, images of babies and cooking, and her home in China.

She wondered if she would have a boy or a girl...

She had kittens.

**** If something happens that Rumiko Takahashi would choke on her sake to
**** see, 2 drinks

**** If it's one of the worst fanfics you've ever read, chug

**** If it's the best fanfic you're ever read ... you're sick! (Or dead
**** drunk...)

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

**** The author sniggers, "Better than having her killed off... Phew. Now,
**** you lot, STOP MAKING ME WRITE STUPID THINGS!! Feh ... better start a
**** really, really GOOD addition to Nibun No Ichi to make up for this..."
**** She sighs, saves the file, then sends it. "Feh..."

**** Then she smiles hopefully, wondering when the cash will start rolling
**** in........ ^_^

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

http://www.ecr.mu.oz.au/~caseawr

Ja, mata!

Kunoichi@AnimeMUCK
Kunoichi@AnimeMUSH
Lum@RanmaMUCK
Akane@SpiritMUCK
Akane@FanficMUX
Ukyou@Furtoonia
Caroline@RealLife