Accidents Will Happen, Especially to Ranma

Author:

A/N Hello all.  Don’t you just hate me?  Or not.  I would just like to say that this is taking an interesting turn, and can be expanded upon.  I have just read WFROSE’s Ranma the Amorous Oversexed Nympho.  But in this story is taking a completely different route, such as the fact she’s not so… dominating.

“So, this person you know can help us?  Somehow, I severely doubt that.” Merlin said.  The Tendo sisters led him to a restaurant.

“Neko-haten?  Why are we here?” Merlin said.

“Trust me, the owner here can help.” Nabiki said, leading him inside.  When they got inside, Shampoo looked at them.

“Why Mercenary Girl and Violent Girl here?” Shampoo asked.

“Don’t worry about that, we need to talk to your great-grandmother.” Akane said.  Shampoo shouted out some words in Chinese, from which there was a reply.

“I recognize that voice.” Merlin said.  It wasn’t something he heard recently, probably an old acquaintance.  However, it wasn’t quite that.

Cologne was slightly confused.  Why would the younger Tendo sisters want to speak to her.  When she came to the dining room, she saw one other.  A man, whose looks deceived his age.  Then, she saw it, a silver starburst tattoo on his left forearm.  And he noticed her.

“You!  The Amazon!  Saye-Calli-Con-Knoss!” the wizard called out, raising his right arm and black lightning jumped from his out stretched fingers.  Cologne barely dodged the electricity.  Only one person could do that, the Supreme Chancellor of the Order of the Silver Star.  And for the entire history of the Order, there was only one.

“Ezekiel Merlin, we meet again.” Cologne said to the tired looking man.

“I was hoping it would be later, Koh-Lon, like at my funeral.” Merlin said.  Cologne looked at the wizard with mild contempt.

“So, you have found an heir and apprentice?” She asked.  Merlin chuckled.

“You know me, not yet.”  Merlin said, a small smirk forming on his lips.

“But, why are you here?  There is nothing the Order could want from us.”  Cologne said.

“Something happened to Ranma.” Akane blurted.  Cologne looked at the blue-haired Tendo, then at the elderly wizard.

“Your doing?” she asked.  Merlin nodded and started to tell his tale.

All the while, on the other side of town, Satoshi was examining his clothes.  Or, to be more precise, what was left of them.

“I’m sorry Sato-chan.  I couldn’t help my self.”  Ranko said, pouting.  Satoshi’s shirt was a disaster.  The collar was hanging on by a thread and all the buttons were ripped off.

“It’s not that I mind, but this was my favorite shirt, Ran-chan.” Satoshi said.  He was clad in a pair of plaid boxers.  Ranko was wearing one of his t-shirts.  It had long green sleeves that came to almost her fingertips.  The rest was white and the hem came to just about four inches or so above the knee.

“But, was it worth it?” Ranko asked anxiously, her eyes almost tearing.  Satoshi noticed how… cute she looked like that, not at all like the raucous  redheaded teenager that… forced her way into his life.  He nodded and decided to make them breakfast, before he took a shower and got dressed.

“Now I got to go run some errands.  And I’ll be back in half an hour.  With a present for you.” Satoshi said, kissing Ranko.  At first it was supposed to be quick and light, but nothing done with Ranko could be called quick and light.  It was probably because Satoshi liked the way Ranko’s tongue felt in his mouth.  But, when she started fiddling around with his belt, trying to undo it, Satoshi reluctantly broke the kiss.

“Hold that thought for thirty minutes.  Please, for me?” Satoshi asked.  Ranko huffed, but she nodded.

“Thanks, babe.  Be seeing you.” Satoshi said, exiting the apartment.

“Now what am I gonna do in the mean time?” Ranko said out loud as she sat down in a chair, put her elbows on her knees, and put her chin in her hands.  She had a lot of thinking to do.

Shampoo didn’t like that sound, it was… unnatural, out of place.  Hell, she didn’t think it was possible.

Cologne was laughing herself to tears.

“That’s what happened?  An entire book of spells moved into Son-in-laws head and warped his mind?  What a hoot.”  Cologne said after she regained her posture.

“That’s one way of putting it.  But, you still have to hear which book.” Merlin said, handing the book to Cologne.  She frowned almost instantly and clobbered Merlin with said book.

“For someone who shares his name with the most powerful mage in history, you are quite stupid.” Cologne said to the collapsed wizard.  Turning to the Tendo’s she sighed.

“I take it you need Shampoo’s help with finding Son-in-law?” She asked.  Nabiki nodded.

“When he comes to, we’ll start.” Cologne said, heading back to the kitchen.

Back at Satoshi’s apartment, Ranko was sitting at a counter and napping, light snores coming from her sleeping form.  Inside her head, an interesting confrontation was about to happen.

Ranma opened his eyes.  Finally he was in control of his own body.  Then he saw who was standing over him.

“Ahhhhhhhh!!!!” He screamed.  He was staring at his cursed form and a large cat-like creature was next to her.

“Please, calm down.  It may seem like you went crazy, but I assure you, you aren’t.” His cursed form said.

“If I’m not crazy, then explain what’s happening!” Ranma yelled.

“Only if you calm down first.” She said.  After a few minutes, Ranma did.

“Alright, who are you and where am I?” Ranma asked.

“I’m the spirit of the nyannichuan curse.  You were the first human who fell into the spring for a long time, so I decided to hitch a ride.  Necco here is the personification of the Neko-ken.  And we’re in the Place Between.  The Soul, the Subconscious.  Call it what you will, that’s where we are.  And if you want, Nya.” The girl said. Ranma was confused, here he was talking to someone who was dead for almost two millennia.

“Okay.  What happened?” Ranma asked.  Nya pointed to a bright glow.

“See that over there?  Over there, 300 some spells concentrated everything of there element into a separate female personality.” Nicy said.

“What element?” Ranma asked, almost afraid at what the answer might be.  Nya coughed.

“Sex.  And she has had a lot of it.” Nya said.  With that Ranma screamed.  And screamed.  And screamed some more.  Then he started to stutter and mumble.

“Are you finished cursing your existence?  Because I wasn’t finished and it gets worse.” Nya said.  Ranma looked at her, his left eye twitching.

“How could it get worse?  I lost my virginity as a girl and didn’t even know it!  It can’t get any worse than that!” Ranma said, quite loudly.

“Well, uh… the curse is locked for the meantime.  Apparently the spells don’t like controlling male hosts, so they made sure that it won’t happen.” Nya said.  Ranma frowned.  Great, he was, at the moment, a slutty bimbo and probably couldn’t stop he-himself.  Then everything started to get hazy and gray..  He noticed that Nya swore under her breath.

“We’ll talk about this later, we’re waking up.” She said as everything went blank.

Ezekiel Merlin popped the lid off the aspirin bottle.  How did he mess his life up so much?  But it didn’t matter much right now, Koh-Lon’s great-granddaughter, Xian-Pu, was leading them all over Nerima, looking for the unfortunate Ranma Saotome.  Finally, Shampoo, as she referred to herself, cried out in triumph.

“Shampoo know where Airen is!” She said cheerfully.

“Where is he?” Akane said, her anger under control.  For the moment.

“Airen is… not in Nerima.” Shampoo said proudly.  Akane and Nabiki groaned, Cologne shook her head sadly, and Merlin downed the last of the pills.  Funny, he bought these just an hour ago and he was already out.  It was going to be a long day.

“Harder, Sato-chan, plea-mfph!!” Ranko cried out, muffled by Satoshi’s furious kiss.  There was always something about feeling Satoshi thrust into her tight, wet… *cough.*  Anyway it was neither exhaustive or tiring.  Quite the opposite.  In truth, it was very invigorating.

“Come on, deeper.  You’re almost the-AHHHH!!” Ranko screamed.  She had just broke the kiss, only to have Satoshi to forcibly squeeze her breasts.

“Sorry, Ran-chan.  I got carried away.” Satoshi said, starting to nibble on Ranko’s neck, letting up on his grasp, but not letting go.

“Don’t be.” Ranko squeaked.  She was seeing stars.  She gripped the sheets and moaned.  With her legs wrapped tightly around Satoshi, each thrust was quick and short.  And she liked it that way.  At the same time, the two… lovers groaned, both reaching climax.

Half an hour later, Ranko finally got to see those gifts that Satoshi promised her.  Tight, form fitting t-shirts, low cut shorts, lacy lingerie and negligee, short skirts, and another pair of sneakers.  After going through everything, she glomped Satoshi.

“Thank you so much Sato-chan!” she said between passion filled kisses.  She then grabbed her stuff and rushed to the bathroom.  When she came out, she was covered, but not much.  And Satoshi couldn’t help but gaze at the exposed skin.

“I take it that you want to go out.” Satoshi said.  Ranko nodded.  Satoshi sighed and got dressed.  When he was done, Ranko grabbed him and pulled him out of his apartment and out of the building.

“He’s not here.  I don’t think he was here.  And he won’t be here.” Akane said, her aggravation increasing.  Just then, two someones came out of a building.  One of them looked familiar.

“Airen!!!” Shampoo cried out.

A/N there we go, I’m gonna leave it off right here.  Hopefully you guys were waiting for this chapter.  Well, it’s hard writing for a genre like this.  Right now, I got interesting plans for the Ranmaverse, like taking a dive into Sailor Ranko, a psionically endowed martial artist, and the silliest style of martial arts since the one practiced by Mikado Sanzenin.  If you want to read those fics, send me a holler, I might do them when I’m finished this one.