Accidents Will Happen, Especially to Ranma

Author:

A/N I apologize for this drivel.  This is my first attempt at sexual humor.  The contents are as follows yuri lime, lemon, citrus and straight lime, lemon, citrus; take your pick.  It also deals with powerful majiks, extreme curse locking, and a new, severe personality to mess up Ranma’s life.  I hear by give any and all permission to use said new cursed form and personality.  Once again I apologize and I have fully, completely warned you.  So if you ain’t old enough, do not read.  Oh, and I almost forgot, it will also include some majorly minor immoral actions.

Disclaimer:  I don’t own Ranma ½.

Saotome Ranma, or Tendo Ranko, given the form at the moment, was looking at books at a very interesting book shop.  The owner was overly Gaijin, very American, and sleeping.  He, or as it is, she was looking at some of the more strange texts.  Pity she couldn’t read the titles or what was written.  But one in particular caught her eye.  It had a plain red cover and gold lettering for the title.  She flipped through, not being able to read the writing and confused at the pictures.  Then something happened, something clicked in her brain and mind, something she never felt before.  She dropped the book, and left the store, for she was on the hunt.  The book itself lie on the floor, open, its pages blank.

Ranko took in the surroundings, and then she spotted her prey, a college student, probably out to get his lunch.  He was handsome, he was cute, he was… toast.  She ran up to him, glomped him, and started to kiss him, furiously and hard.  To be honest, the boy seemed to enjoy it.  A lot.

“Please make mad, passionate love to me.  Please.” Ranko whispered in the ear of the shocked man.  There were several thoughts running through his head.  His brain said:  This is wrong, obviously her boyfriend dumped her and needs to feel better.  Unfortunately, his libido was thinking the same thing. Exactly, Man. Can you say rebound sex? Hot redhead wants you to fuck her. Don’t disappoint me, Man.

“Please, I’m gonna burst.” Ranko said, loosening her shirt.  DAMN!!!  Both the brain and libido of the young man screamed at the sight of Ranko’s uncovered bust.

“M-m-m-m-m-my p-p-p-place is up-p-p-p-p-p stairs.  F-f-f-f-f-f-f-follow me.” The man stuttered (women that throw them selves at you tend to cause that), whose name was Satoshi.  He was nervous, but he didn’t care, hopefully his brain and libido would take over.  When they got to his flat, Ranko suplexed him into the bed, proceeded to rip off his clothes, was kissing his neck fiercely, and placed his hands on her breasts.  Her hard nipples, Satoshi noted, could probably cut diamonds.  After kneading Ranko’s breasts for several minutes, Satoshi went to suck the left one, his thumb caressing and pinching the right.  Ranko gripped fistfuls of sheet, she was in bliss, perfect mind melting bliss, but it wasn’t done yet.  After Satoshi had finished suckling her right breast, she brought him in a passionate kiss, her tongue probing his mouth.

“Finish it, enter me.” She said to him.  And he did.  Thrusting in and out, building up heat, the room filling with her moans and screams while Satoshi flooded her.  At the end, Satoshi collapsed on the bed, tired out, he had just had the best sex of his life.  Ever.  Ranko on the other hand, was fine, tired and a little sore.  But that, she reasoned, was part of the fun.  She put on her clothes, took some of Satoshi’s money, which she would make up in some way, and left.  She needed to go shopping, she needed clothes that would be appropriate for her.  Lace panties, tight miniskirt, white sneakers, and a shirt that would fit snugly on a six year old.

At the book shop, which was aptly named The American Magician’s Emporium, the proprietor, Ezekiel Merlin finally woke up.  He noticed a book with blank pages.

“Damn, why now of times, the spells always behaved before.” He said picking up the book and closing it.  He read the title.

“Oh, fuck.” Merlin said.  And it was an interesting choice of words as well, because the book was The Joy of Tantric Sex with Illustrations for the Advanced Student by A. Lady.  He gathered up the book and headed outside, trying to find where the readers home was, that way he could find him/her.

On the other side of town, Ranko was enjoying the company of yet another man, who thrusted deep inside her.

“Harder!  Faster!  Deeper!” She screamed at the top of her lungs.  She felt a twitch inside of her and was once again filled by the seed of a man, who, like the other two, collapsed beside her, to weak to move.  Ranko left a kiss on his lips, tasting her own essence on them, before she got out of the bed, got dressed, and left.  So far, Satoshi was the best.  She made note to find him again, maybe he got a second wind.  But first, she had and itch that needed to be scratched, and only her fellow woman could scratch it.

Ezekiel Merlin had just found the residence of Ranma Saotome, that was the name left on the pages, and this is where the book said to go.  The Tendo School of Anything Goes Martial Arts.  He walked up to the front door, more than a little nervous, not knowing how her family would take the knowledge of what happened.  After he knocked on the door, a 19 or 20 year old girl opened the door.

“Hello, may I help you?” the girl asked.

“Why yes, you can.  Is this the current residence of a Ranma Saotome?  And may I come in if it is?” Merlin said.  The girl nodded and led him in.  Inside, there was two other girls, there father, and what appeared to be a pet panda.

“Kasumi, whose this?” the blue haired one asked.  All of them looked at the panda.

[Don’t look at me.  Never met him in my life] a sign that it held up read.  Odd, that.  Maybe it was trained?

“Uh, my name is Ezekiel Merlin.  Miss Saotome had a slight accident with the more… unique magical texts that I offer.  Do you know where she is?” Merlin asked.  There were some snickers coming from the blue-haired girl.

“Did I miss something?” Merlin asked.  He was confused, just slightly.

“Well, yeah.  Ranma’s a guy.” The blue-haired one said.

“No, that can’t be right, cause if Ranma was male, the spells wouldn’t have decided to jump into her head.  Either someone is denying something or you’re blind.” Merlin said, chuckling.

“What spells?” The other girl, apparently the second oldest.

“The spells in this book, they are blank and all they have is the carriers name written over and over in Wyrdskrypt.” Merlin said tossing the placing the book on the table.

“Oh, this is rich.  The Joy of Tantric Sex with Illustrations for the Advanced Student.  What the hell kind of magic is kept in a book like this?” Nabiki asked.  The mans face turned red and he coughed.

“Very powerful sex majik spells.  And at the moment, all 327 are floating around in Ranma Saotome’s head.” Merlin said.

“Don’t tell me, these spells affect ones personality.” Nabiki asked.

“Oh, you have no idea.  A can of worms had just been opened.” Merlin said.

“Ohhhhh… that feels good.  Please keep doing that, Naru.” Ranko moaned as the other girl… lapped at her.  Soon they were grinding into each other, squeezing each others breasts, and kissing each other with an open mouth.  Ranko liked the way the girl tasted, it was… sweet.  After the girl collapsed and fell asleep, Ranko got off the bed, got dressed, and left, after she planted a kiss on the girls cheek.

‘Now, time to find Satoshi… and make him cream!’ she thought maliciously.  Oh, she was getting wet just thinking about him exploding inside of her.

‘Now, Ranko, you naughty, naughty girl, save your energy for the real thing.’ She scolded herself mentally.  And off she went to find Satoshi’s place, constraining her primal instinct to fuck anyone she passed on the street.  It was quite tiring.  Then, at last, she came to her destination, Satoshi’s flat.

Satoshi was groggy.  Or exhausted.  But he didn’t care, in his mind it was worth it.  Then the doorbell rang.  He was in for a shock when he answered it.  It was RANKO!  That curvy, bosomy, drop dead gorgeous, incredibly fuckable redhead was back.  She jumped his bone, it was like watching a Discovery Channel program, it was so spontaneous.

“Ready for round 2?” Ranko asked him, as she ripped off his clothes again, kissing him furiously.  And he wasted no time, he groped her breasts, while kissing her neck.  It was almost like a primal force had taken over.  He continued to kiss and grope her, ignoring her whimpers and purposely preventing himself from letting loose.

“Dammit!  Just fuck me for gods sake!  The anticipation is killing me!” Ranko yelled.  Satoshi grunted and did the deed.  Thrusting into and out of Ranko’s opening as quickly as he could.  Ranko erupted in a scream.  It was harder then she remembered.  But nonetheless, she wanted more of it.  It was the ultimate ecstasy, having Satoshi’s throbbing member pumping in and out of her.  God, it felt so good!  And then it happened, his manhood twitched just as she constricted around it.  After that exhausting ordeal, Satoshi held her in his arms.

“Sato-chan, I… I think I love you.” Ranko said to him.  He kissed her lightly, his primal, primitive guidance and urge gone.

“Same here, Ko-chan, same here.” He said as they both fell asleep clinging to each other, totally spent.

A/N if I just did what I think I did, wow.  Not to bad for my first time writing a lemon.  I apologize for the language, its to convey the mood.  I also expect to things from this.  One, you will all hate me for turning Ranma into a sluttish whore.  Two, you will flame me for what I did to the Ranmaverse.  Three, you will want to see what happens next, even though you don’t like the story.  And four, hopefully, this gets the creative juices flowing.  Like you would want to expand on this universe, or make alternates to it.  Or cross it over with other Ranmaverses.  Can you imagine Satoshi caught in the Sailor Ranko-verse?  Or one of those god-like Ranmas in this ‘verse, curse included, which I still have to name, as the creator of it.  It’ll come to me later.  But, anyways R and R if you would.  Thank you.  One other thing before I go, the title is borrowed from Pterry.