Disclaimer- Takahashi Rumiko owns them, I'm simply tying them to each others' bed and having my wicked way with them.
 

Warnings- PWP, Lemon, Angst, Drag
 

I noticed that I always seem to avoid the whole 'Mousse is in love with someone beside Shampoo' topic, and I got to wondering how I could make it seem realistic. I don't know how well I did in that department, but this is really just another PWP in disguise, so...
 
 

A Choice of Love
 

"And this really work, Great-grandmother?"

"Of course, my dear. Akane Tendo won't know what hit her. But to avoid suspicion, you'd better not be the one to deliver it."

"But Shampoo want see airen!"

"Now, now. You can visit with future son-in-law later. Just for now, focus on other tables." Cologne reprimanded.

Shampoo crossed her arms over her chest and pouted. "Fine. Mousse, you have a table to serve."

"Coming!" Mousse's voice called from the kitchen. Walking through the door, wiping soap suds off his hands, Mousse walked over to a plant and clutched a leaf. "Oh, Shampoo, you know I'd walk to the end of the Earth for you!" A hard punch to the back of his head and Mousse fell to the floor, placing his glasses on his face and looking at Shampoo.

"Shampoo wish you would..." She muttered under her breath, then pointed to a bowl of steaming ramen on the counter. "Take ramen to table for Akane. Make sure she eat it, yes?"

Scratching his head, Mousse stood up and nodded. "For you, my beloved, anything."

Shampoo rolled her eyes and headed off to welcome new customers and Cologne dipped back into the kitchen to continue cooking. Mousse stumbled to the bowl and was about to pick it up when his glasses fell off and landed in the bowl, splattering ramen all over the counter.

"Oops." Mousse looked worriedly over his shoulder. Seeing that Shampoo didn't see his fumble, he grabbed another serving. Thinking twice, he looked at his sopping glasses and the wasted ramen. 'Well, I can't serve that to a customer. No sense in wasting it though!' He pocketed his glasses and quickly downed the contents of the bowl.

"Mousse! Haven't you served that ramen yet!?" With a yelp, Mousse jumped back, almost spilling the bowl.  "Careful! Don't drop that! It's very important that Akane Tendo eat the whole thing!"

"Uh, why is it so impor-"

"Don't argue with me, just do it!" Cologne bopped him hard on his head before he headed over to Akane and Ranma's table, rubbing his head and muttering under his breath.

"Here ya go, one ramen." He placed the bowl down in front of Akane, who was busy arguing with Ranma. After standing there for a while, he caught his rival's attention.

"What'cha hangin' around for, Mousse? Shouldn't you be doing something, or bugging someone else?"

Mousse shot him a nasty look and stalked off, discreetly watching as Akane began to eat, to angry to argue anymore. Besides, it wasn't as if Ranma didn't already know he was a jerk. Taking his glasses out and cleaning them off, Mousse watched as Akane finished her meal. Standing and laying payment on the table, she stalked out, not saying a word to Ranma.

As soon as she left, Shampoo squealed with delight and jumped on Ranma, squeezing him until he turned blue. Not willing to subject himself to the torture of seeing his beloved clamped onto that despicable sleaze, Mousse returned to the kitchen to finish washing dishes. As he scrubbed he pondered what was so special about Akane. Without quite knowing why, he felt a lead weight settle in his stomach, which didn't leave him until he went to bed, exhausted from a hard day's work.
 

**********
 

"Great-grandmother! Did you see how Akane not say bye to airen?" Shampoo giggled and got a dreamy look in her eye as she struggled into her pajamas.

"Yes, I saw. That potion worked much faster than I thought it would. Normally, it takes at least twelve hours..." Cologne worried at her cane with narrowed eyes. It was much too strange indeed.

"But Akane so... weird. And she mean to airen anyway." Shampoo assured as she lay back on her bed. Cologne nodded thoughtfully and lay back as well, though she wasn't entirely convinced.

'Perhaps that oaf messed up some how? But no, he took that bowl straight to her, I saw it with my own eyes.' Cologne rolled over, looking out the window at the starry sky. 'But... he did take a long time to get the lead out. Perhaps...' Deciding worrying didn't help her keep her youthful face wrinkle free, she closed her eyes and settled into sleep. 'I'm sure it's nothing.'
 

**********
 

Mousse wasn't really sure what had woken him up. He was such a deep sleeper, but he listened and heard nothing that might have awoken him. He laid back and was about to fall asleep again when he felt it. Sure that it was what had woken him up, and grateful that he had a little bit of warning, Mousse ran full speed down the stairs to the bathroom, and just barely made it to the toilet in time to vomit.

After emptying the contents of his stomach, Mousse gasped and rested his forehead on the edge of the bowl, careful to keep his hair out of the mess. It would be so nice if someone would come to his aid... He remembered when he was a child, whenever he was sick, his mother would always be right there with a cool rag as she held his hair back and rubbed his shoulders. He sighed and closed his eyes, fighting back another wave.

'What could have made me so ill? Surely it wasn't that ramen I ate... Why would Cologne poison Akane Tendo? What good would it do for her to be sick? Maybe to keep Ranma away from her?'

His vision clouded and he sank to the cool, tiled floor, trying to get some of the chill to sink into his overheated body. He was so hot all of a sudden. Licking his dry lips, Mousse rolled his head back and forth on the floor, trying to keep awake.

From the scream that pierced his ears and the bright light streaming in through the window, he guessed it hadn't worked. He was too dazed to realize that Shampoo had come, screamed, and left, returning with Cologne. When the old bat entered his line of vision, he felt sick all over again and tried to roll over, but Cologne kept him pinned.

"Oh dear, it seems you did screw up after all..."

"What matter, Great-grandmother?"

Mousse was helped to his feet by four hands, but when he started to heave all help left him, and he made his way to the bowl by himself.

"My guess is the idiot ate the ramen intended for Akane."

Mousse heard a surprised gasp from Shampoo before the toilet lid was slammed into the back of his skull.

"Stupid Mousse ruin whole plan!!"

"Sh-sh-sham-"

"No excuses!" Another hit and Shampoo turned away. Mousse looked after her, reaching out a hand before drawing it back to hold over his mouth. Cologne did manage to stop Shampoo, however, and said something that Mousse couldn't hear, but which seemed to cheer Shampoo up a little.

Shampoo turned her gaze to Mousse and smirked. "Well, not total loss then." She left, humming to herself.

Confused and still a little hazy, Mousse didn't register Cologne's presence at his side until a cool cloth was thrust down the back of his robe to rest comfortingly at the base of his skull.

"You've really done it this time, boy. That ramen had a special potion in it. You have no one to blame but yourself, you know."

"Wh-wha-" Cologne patted his shoulder, but Mousse gathered no comfort from it.

"What does it do? Heh heh. You'll find out soon enough. But it's all for the better..." Cologne patted him once more before leaving him to himself, feeling confused, tired, and miserably ill.
 

**********
 

Mousse's mind was elsewhere as he washed dishes. He'd nearly dropped a few and gotten knocks to the head for it, so he tried to pay attention, but his mind just wouldn't stay put. He listened as Shampoo greeted customers and Cologne called up orders. Nothing was different in the routine, but Mousse felt undeniably different. He just couldn't figure out what it was.

'What was in that ramen, anyway? Oh, I wish they'd just tell me...'

'She said you'd figure it out, stupid, so just think.'

'Well, it was supposed to be for Akane, so it probably has some relation to Ranma as well. Something to hinder their relationship...'

After a few more minutes of thinking and coming up with nothing, Mousse sighed and slumped his shoulders. 'This isn't working.'

The kitchen door swung open and Shampoo stuck her head inside. "Mousse, is busy. You wash later, come help serve now."

"Do I have to?" A bowl of ramen in his face answered him, and he dried his hands before wiping his face clean. The mere thought of ramen made him feel ill.

'Something to make Akane hate ramen so she wouldn't accompany Ranma here anymore?' He shook his head, knowing that was a really lame idea. Of course, Shampoo wasn't exactly the brightest crayon in the box.

He stopped, wide eyed.

'I-I didn't just think that about Shampoo, did I!?'

"MOUSSE!"

"C-coming!" Shaking his head, he left the kitchen and began carrying orders to tables, mechanically. 'No, I just don't feel good. I didn't want to work today- I'm just feeling resentful is all.' Mousse focused his attention on Shampoo as she swirled and floated and flirted with customers, and that different feeling struck Mousse again, stronger this time. Narrowing his eyes, he tried to figure out what was so different about him.

As Shampoo bent over and Mousse got a good look at her shapely behind, it finally hit him. With a cry that scared his customers into spilling their food, Mousse ran into the kitchen and clutched at Cologne.

"Tell me it's not true, granny! Tell me it's not true!!"

"I'm over here, you moron."

Blinking back tears, Mousse slipped his glasses on and released the stool, running over to Cologne. "Please tell me it's not true!"

"It's true." Cologne replied without emotion.

"It's temporary?"

"No."

"It's reversible, then, right!?"

"No." With a dead expression, Mousse sank to the floor, twitching. Cologne looked down at the distraught boy and took pity on him. "I told you it was your own fault. And besides, you'll both be happier this way."

Mousse, totally oblivious to Cologne's words, was spiraling down further and further into a pit of despair.

'It can't be true.'

'I refuse to believe it!'

'I can't have just... just...'

"I can't have stopped loving Shampoo..."
 

**********
 

Hours later, Mousse picked himself up off the floor, head sore from crying and pulling on his hair, the physical pain helping to quell his emotional pain. Judging by the depth of his emotional pain, it was a wonder that Mousse wasn't dead.

As he stood and walked into the dining area and watching Shampoo, he wished he was.

He felt a sort of fondness for Shampoo, like a distant relative or a friend. But no love. He tried hard to recall the love that had poured from him like water for the past thirteen years whenever he saw Shampoo, but he couldn't. He sobbed quietly in the doorway, tears all spent. Finally realizing he couldn't live without his love he made a decision to ignore what Cologne had told him. She would lie, wouldn't she, about it being permanent? To make him leave and to find someone else to love so that if- no, when!- it wore off, he would never know. Yes, there had to be a way to get his love back!

There was only one person who could help him.
 

**********
 

Ping- Okay, that wasn't so bad... ^_____^
Mousse- I know that look...
Ping- Now, here's how it works. I couldn't decide on a pairing!
Mousse- Oh god...
Ping- It started as a Ranma fic, then I thought about how cute Ryoga is, and then I remembered how lonely Kuno was.
Mousse- Here it comes. -_-
Ping- So here it is: There are four endings!
Mousse- There goes my reputation!!
Ping- Now, you're all more than welcome (in fact, encouraged) to read all four endings, but I just wanted to warn you to not just read one after the other and wonder at the lack of continuity.
Each ending picks up where this left off. However, each ending has a different pairing.
Mousse- And what's with *4*?
Ping- I had a dream about a TofuxKasumixMousse fic and just decided to toss Kasumi back. ^_^
So since couldn't decide I chose all! And they're different, not just transposed names, so you shouldn't get too bored.
Ranma- There's sex right? They won't get bored then.
Mousse- I was supposed to be on vacation!!