The Devil in Miss Tendo

A Ranma ½ fanfic

by avis de rapina


Chapter 4: (Avast! Heyre Thar Be Lemuns!)

‘Titles / Quotes in speech or thoughts’
Sound effects
(Script Directions)


Disclaimer Free Verse(?):
Feh! No rhymes today.
And so I must now disclaim
In bastard free verse:
For this, fame might be my due…
But not money nor lawsuits.

(Sometimes my muse doesn’t… Hold on now. 5-7-5 / 7-7… Hmmm. A tanka, perhaps?)


Summary: Ranma’s first scenes with Kasumi didn’t come out all that well. He was fine until Kasumi changed into her working clothes. That and Kasumi’s willingness to get into her role led to a little… wardrobe malfunction. The post-mortem has brought up his Pavlovian conditioning to being in intimate situations. The movie’s in trouble unless he can get over his hang-up. Kasumi’s volunteered to help him out. Ranma’s really fortunate to have such a caring iinazuke. Iinazuke? Hey! How did that happen?


Previously: “I’m afraid that this is going to be a problem.” (Sigh) “Are you sure that you would rather we didn’t re-cast his role, Kasumi-chan? Maybe we could ask Mousse-kun or even hold new auditions…”

“NO!” Came the response from Ranma, Kasumi and Nabiki.

“There’s no way I’m gonna let Mousse or some other man do this to Kasumi!”

“Do you mean that, Ranma? I’m so glad! I’d really rather not be doing this with anyone else myself.”

“I’m really happy for you, sis,” Nabiki chuckled. “Besides, the parents would freak if we brought in anybody else. It would ruin everything.”

“Then I guess we have no choice. Is there anything that can be done to help Ranma-kun get over this fear of intimacy?” Kimiko asked plaintively.

“I… may have a few ideas. Since we have no further scenes for this afternoon, would you mind taking me out for a walk in the park, Ranma? I think it would be better if we could talk in a more natural environment.”

“I’m curious though, sis. When did you stop calling him ‘Ranma-kun’ and just ‘Ranma’?”

“Why ever since we got to ‘third base’, Nabiki,” Kasumi answered with a bright smile. “After all, it would be hypocriticical for iinazuke to address each other so formally after becoming so intimate.”


Part I:

Ranma escorted Kasumi out of the building, totally oblivious to the look that Nabiki was aiming at Kasumi. He was otherwise preoccupied with figuring out what to say to Kasumi. Just what do you say to a woman after you’ve spunked her in the face and she then declared that she’s now your fiancée in place of her sister?

He was in a no-win situation. Not only had he admitted that he liked Kasumi, she had admitted that she was happy that he liked her! He would be all sorts of heel if he took back what he said and made Kasumi feel bad about herself.


Plus they did make-out, of sorts. Sure it was called for in the script. But there was no denying that he was safe at third. That butt plug scene alone guaranteed that. He did have to use his finger before inserting the dummy plug.


But that fellatio scene! He’d honestly thought that Kasumi would only mime going down on him. He never imagined she’d actually grab him, caress him, fondle him, lick him… She’d even been willing to put him in her mouth! Sure, he was wearing that sock-thingy. But considering how it disintegrated when he… when he… I’m a dead man.


Akane, Shampoo and Ukyo are gonna kill me for what I did… And Nabiki has the proof that I did do… what I did… I’m a dead, poor man. It isn’t fair! I’m almost eighteen. I’m gonna die young… poor… and still a virgin! This is sooo unfair!


“Ka-- Kasumi?” Ranma put his hand to his lips.

“Honestly, Ranma,” Kasumi pouted. “I’ve been trying to get your attention for the last two blocks! A girl could almost think that you weren’t even aware you had company. Now, what could you have been thinking of to make you act like that?”

“I’m gonna die a virgin.”

Kasumi blushed. “Somehow, I rather doubt that, Ranma.”

“I mean I’m gonna die soon! Mebbe once we get back to the dojo. Once Akane, Shampoo and Ukyo find out what happened… Once Nabiki tells ‘em what happened when we…”

“Nabiki’s not going to tell them anything, Ranma.” Kasumi sighed as she led the way into Shakujii Park.

“Why wouldn’t she? She always did something like that whenever something like this happened! …Not that anything like THIS ever happened before, I mean. That’s to say…”

“Hush now, Ranma. You’re starting to babble.”


Kasumi giggled as she led the way to an empty bench. “I wish you could see just how cute you look right now, Ranma. I never imagined I’d ever have a ‘cute’ fiancé.”

Ranma sweatdropped. “A-- About that, Kasumi. Are you really serious about havin’ me as a fiancé? I mean, what about Akane?”

“Ranma, can you honestly tell me that you wanted to marry Akane the other week? If you were then why did you leave her at the altar?”

“Are you kidding me? I never said I wouldn’t marry that…”

Kasumi waited patiently.

“Besides there was the Nanniichuan water!”

“Was that the real reason, Ranma? Didn’t you tell Akane that you just stopped caring about the curse? That you thought your girl side was always a part of you? That it probably wasn’t a curse to begin with?”


“Didn’t you think that if the guide sent you some water once, he could do it again? There was no need to not go through with the wedding.”

“B-- But aren’t we too young to get married?”

“People have gotten married at much younger ages. Some have even become parents at a younger age without ever getting married. You were old enough to fight someone to the death a month before the wedding. That sounds like you’re old enough to make that kind of decision, Ranma.”

“But that was different!”

“Was it, Ranma? That was not the first time that you’ve risked the rest of your life for the sake of another. In some ways that does not differ much from marriage.”

“But what about Akane? Isn’t she supposed to be my fiancée?”

“Do you love her, Ranma? Enough to marry her, raise a family and spend the rest of your lives together?”

“I-- I don’t know, Kasumi. I think… I thought I might be.”


“But I wasn’t sure… if she was.”

(Sigh) “And that’s the problem right there, Ranma. After all this time, Akane still hasn’t made up her mind. At first we thought that she had finally admitted her feelings for you, but she fell back on her old habit of treating you as a prize to be won… or to be bought-off with a bribe.”

Ranma looked at Kasumi intently. He couldn’t believe what he was hearing. He had had some of those same suspicions but he had denied them to himself. But this was KASUMI! When did she become so perceptive; why was she, of all people, saying this about her own sister?

“Kasumi, what brought all this about? Why are you saying these things about Akane?”

“Do you think I’m lying or making this up, Ranma?”

“No… It’s just not… what I thought I’d ever hear you say… about Akane.”

“Don’t get me wrong, Ranma. I do love Akane, very much. But as Nabiki said, we can no longer afford all the destruction your fights with your rivals and among the fiancées bring to our home. We had hoped that you, Akane, Shampoo and Ukyo had come to an understanding. But if Akane still has not come to a decision as to her future with you, or if you cannot choose from among the three of them on your own, then Nabiki and I must step in and bring peace until you do.”

“By becoming my fiancée? You saw what happened when they thought I was marrying Akane. What do you think they’ll do if they find out I’m engaged to you?”

“You say that like being engaged to me is a bad thing,” Kasumi mock-pouted.

“Are you kidding? It’s terrific!”

Kasumi beamed.

“That’s the problem. Shampoo and Ucchan will know they don’t stand a chance against you. They tried explosives on me and Akane. Who knows what they’ll do when they think I’m fallin’ for you!”


“Tha-- That’s not gonna help, Kasumi.”


“Any more complaints?”

“No, ma’am!”


“Gee. Get a room, you two!” Nabiki chuckled.



“Sorry, nee-chan, but we’d better get back home. We have to catch the others before they go back to their restaurants.”

“Oh crap! I AM gonna die a virgin!”


“Now whatever could have made you say that, Saotome?”

“You’re gonna tell Akane, Shampoo and Ucchan about what happened this afternoon. They’re gonna kill me as soon as you tell them!”

“Well… we could take care of the virgin part before we get home.”


“Sheesh! You’re so jumpy, Saotome. Maybe I should bring you to a love hotel and work off some of that nervous energy.”

“Now, now, Nabiki. It isn’t nice to tease our fiancé that way.”

“Wait a minute. ‘OUR fiancé’? What’s goin’ on?”

“What’s going on, Ranma, is that since you didn’t marry Akane the other week and since Akane keeps denying the engagement, she is no longer the exclusive candidate to fulfill the Tendo-Saotome pact. If I am a valid fiancée then so is Nabiki.”


“Nicely put, sis.”

(Sigh) “Take his left side, Nabiki. I’ve got his right.”


Ranma regained his senses on the walk back through Furinkan-cho. It was a very pleasant way to do so, with two admittedly attractive and definitely very well-developed women latched-on to his sides. Ordinarily such a sight would draw catcalls, wolf-whistles and envious stares. But this was Furinkan-cho and such a sight was expected of the young Saotome.

Actually what was expected was the inevitable catfight that occurred whenever two of the boy’s fiancées employed him as a human rope in a game of tug-o-war, and the subsequent furball as the rivals pitched in.. The street rapidly cleared as shoppers fled and shopkeepers quickly brought in their wares then lowered their shutters. The distinct absence of a catfight finally brought on curious stares. Those stares quickly turned envious as the ‘fiancées’ in question were recognized as the elder Tendo sisters, who were glomping the young Saotome bastard in a manner that Shampoo could take lessons from. Some people had all the luck.

Ranma was definitely questioning that luck as they approached the Tendo property. If there was to be any hope of Akane, Shampoo and Ukyo not killing him for what happened that afternoon, it rested on Nabiki not telling them. He’d never been able to get anything out of Nabiki without a lot of trouble. But it would appear that for once their interests were joined. Still it was best to make sure.


“Hmm? Yes, oh fiancé-mine?”

“You’re not gonna tell them what happened earlier are you? About me and Kasumi and my ‘accident’ I mean?”

“Of course not, Saotome! Why would I mention anything about that?” Nabiki asked in surprise as she opened the gate.

Ranma gave a relieved sigh.

“I told you that she wouldn’t tell them, Ranma.” Kasumi gently chided. “That’s my job.”


“Oof! How about a little warning before the next time that you do that, Kasumi? I was out of position!”

“Sorry, Nabiki. So… your room or mine?”


Nabiki persuaded Konatsu and Mousse to carry a newly unconscious Ranma up to Kasumi’s room. They then left to serve the dinner crowds at their restaurants. Kasumi asked Happosai to ensure that the fathers didn’t disturb them. He decided to bring them out to celebrate the addition of two new students to the Musabetsu Kakuto Ryuu. As he had offered to pay for a few rounds at a bar instead of ordering them to join him in a panty raid, the two ‘Masters’ agreed with alacrity.

The elder sisters then gathered Akane, Shampoo and Ukyo in the dining room while Cologne and Nodoka started fixing dinner and listened from the kitchen.

“So, Akane, how did your first training session go?” Kasumi asked.

“It went well, onee-chan,” Akane enthused. “Uncle Genma had some comments on my technique and made a few really useful suggestions. And Daddy promised to finally teach me the kata he’s been keeping to himself!”

“And did you two gain anything from your session today?” Nabiki asked Shampoo and Ukyo.

“Panda-man and Pervert-troll know really sneaky moves,” Shampoo replied. “I is looking forward to tomorrow’s rematch.”

“I was surprised that Cologne actually agreed to teach me how to use the ‘Hidden Weapons’ technique,” Ukyo added. “I’ll definitely be glad when I learn enough to hide my spatula. Accessorizing around it is always difficult whenever I decide to dress-up.”

“I am glad that this afternoon went so well for you then. We hope you realize that the continuation of this training depends upon your willingness to support us in the success of this project.”

“Why does that sound like a threat, Nabiki?” Ukyo asked as her eyes narrowed. “Weren’t all those contracts you made us sign enough?”

“I’m sorry if I gave offense, Ukyo-san. But in this case it is best to make sure that all of us,” Nabiki glanced at the three fiancées in turn, “are absolutely clear on what we have gotten ourselves into.”

Akane, Shampoo and Ukyo were struck by the seriousness of Nabiki’s tone. Not to mention by her apology. That in itself was rare enough to fully bring their attention to the middle Tendo sister.

At their hesitant nods, Nabiki continued. “By signing those contracts we all agreed to be held liable for punitive damages should any of us sabotage this project. Do I need to remind you of why we found it necessary to even embark on this in the first place? …Good.

“We have asked Auntie Nodoka, Grandmaster Happosai and Elder Cologne to offer you these training sessions in addition to whatever profit we’ll make from these movies as an incentive for your willing participation in this project.”

“But why would they be so willing to do this for us, Nabiki?” Akane interrupted. “I could understand Happosai teaching me ‘Anything Goes’. But why Shampoo and Ukyo? For that matter, why would Cologne agree to teach us anything? She always had some reason for teaching Ranma or Ryoga her techniques.”

“They have all agreed to this training for one simple reason,” Nabiki explained. “Ranma. He is Auntie Nodoka’s only son. He is the acknowledged heir to Grandfather Happosai’s School. And he…”

“He is a hero to the Joketsuzoku,” Cologne interrupted as she brought out the tea. “He not only soundly defeated the Lords of the Musk and of the Phoenix in their turns; he also did so without permanent loss of life. That last fact has made it possible for our three tribes to finally approach each other in peace. As a result of his actions, I have been directed by our Council of Elders to make what offers I can to peacefully ally him with our people. Preferably by blood.”

“If that’s true,” Ukyo questioned, “then why did you agree to teach US?” She indicated herself and Akane.

“I decided to teach all of you for the same reason that Happi did. Whichever one of you Ranma chooses to marry should be able to stand by his side as an equal and hold her own against all challengers. Besides, it is my hope that all of you agree to join our tribe. That way we not only get to bring Ranma into the Joketsuzoku by blood as well as by alliance, we also gain new members who will bring their own skills into our tribe.”

“Does this mean you not only plan to bring Ranma back to China with you, but us as well?” Ukyo asked incredulously.

“Not at all, Ukyo-san. We do not plan to ‘bring’ any of you anywhere by force. We but hope that you will accept our sincere invitation to visit us on a regular basis. We do not expect you to give up your Japanese citizenship, nor do we even ask you to live with us at Nichezu. As allies or as Ranma’s family, you and your children will be free to come and go. We only ask that you consider us as part of your extended families and give aid and shelter to our people as need arises and to the extent that you are able. As we would give you shelter and aid should you require it. Surely that is a reasonable exchange for learning what we have to offer?”

Akane and Ukyo were stunned into silence. They were blown away by the generosity of Cologne’s offer; yet they could not doubt the sincerity in her eyes. This was… unexpected. A thought struck them simultaneously, and they turned questioningly to Shampoo.

Shampoo acknowledged the doubt in their eyes and sighed. “Is true. Great-grandmother show Shampoo letter from Council last week. Was too late. Ai-- Ranma already mad at Shampoo for attacking wedding with celebratory meat-buns. Since Ranma forgive Shampoo after I promise no attack Ranma friends, I agree to Snea-- to Nabiki’s plans. Maybe is last chance to make Ranma love Shampoo. If no win Ranma’s heart, at least will lose to tribe-sister.” (Sniff!) A tear leaked out of the corner of her eye.

Akane and Ukyo finally turned back to Cologne and nodded their heads in reply to her earlier question.

After a pause, Nabiki resumed her explanation. “We,” she indicated herself and Kasumi, “hope that by working together for the success of this project you will all enter into a new with each other and with Ranma. One that will hopefully lack the level of destruction that marked all of your previous disagreements. In fact it is our hope that you all will no longer fight among yourselves outside of training or a sparring session.”

Once again the three fiancées looked among themselves, nodded and bowed their assent.

“That is good.” Kasumi re-entered the conversation. “Because this afternoon’s shooting did not turn out as well as your training sessions.”

“What happened? Did that pervert try… to…” Akane trailed off at Kasumi’s frown. A frown that was mirrored on Cologne and Ukyo’s faces. Nabiki’s face held a sad smile as she shook her head. Shampoo’s face was partly hidden behind her hand, but she was clearly smothering a giggle.

“Gomen… Old habits are hard to break. I will try to do better in the future.”

“No, student. ‘Try’ not. ‘Do’. Or ‘do not’. There is no ‘try’.” Cologne pontificated.

“Ha-- Hai, sensei!” Akane blushingly replied. I hope Cologne doesn’t keep speaking like Yoda.

Aiyah! Shampoo thought. Great-grandmother watch too too much American movie again.

“No, Akane,” Kasumi chided as Akane cringed. “If anything, Ranma was not perverted enough.”

“What?!” Nodoka cried as she stormed out of the kitchen. “I thought that he was a MANLY man! How could he ‘not be perverted enough’? …and not perverted enough for YOU, Kasumi-chan?” She started to finger her katana’s pommel.

“Oh my, Auntie! He’s certainly manly enough.” Kasumi licked her lips sensuously. “I did stay through his photo session long enough to make sure of THAT.”

“Although he was somewhat reluctant to get an erection right away,” Nabiki mused. “If I hadn’t started to suck that banana and offer to do that to him, I don’t know how long it would have taken him to finally show us how much of a man the ‘Wild Horse of Nerima’ is.” Not that I minded the view.

“No, Auntie, Ranma if anything was too much the gentleman. And in this case that is not a good thing.”

Akane, who had started to glower at Nabiki’s comments, cringed again as Kasumi continued.

”He seemed afraid that someone would hurt him for seeing me in simulated nudity. His acting turned wooden once I removed my outer clothes. He was most reluctant to touch me in the manner that the script required.”

The fiancées hurriedly dug through their copies of the script; while Nodoka’s grip re-tightened on her sword.

“He did relax eventually, and we were able to finish half of our scenes. But when he accidentally ejaculated he was too embarrassed to continue…”

“WHAT!” the fiancées exclaimed as Nodoka broke out her fans and danced.

Up in Kasumi’s room a comatose, pigtailed martial artist sweatdropped, big time.


Later that evening, Ranma woke to a loud rumbling sound. It was his stomach. Waking up hungry was an experience that he was long used to, as was waking up in unfamiliar surroundings. Waking up in a comfortable bed was a rarity though. But waking up hungry, in an unfamiliar room, in an unfamiliar GIRL’S room, in a comfortable bed, covered in a floral-print blanket, and dressed only in his boxers was definitely new to his experience. Not unexpected though given his history; but the identity of this room’s owner was beyond anything he’d expected.

After discovering his state of dress he quickly jumped out of bed. Not seeing Kasumi in bed, he quickly checked for a wet spot and sighed deeply with relief on failing to find any. I always thought that when this happened to me I’d be either in Shampoo or Kodachi’s bed… mebbe Ucchan’s. Whoda figured I’d wake up like this in Kasumi’s room? This must be Nabiki’s idea of a joke. Sometimes I swear she must be tryin’ to kill… me…

Memories of that afternoon’s ‘accident’ and the news that he had just ‘acquired’ both Kasumi and Nabiki as new fiancées came back to him. Crap! I’m dead. Kasumi did say that she was gonna tell ‘em about this afternoon now, didn’t she? His stomach grumbled once more. He sighed, reached for his clothes, dressed, exited the room and headed for the enticing aroma coming from the dining room. Oh well. The condemned man might as well try and get to eat his last meal.


Less than an hour before Ranma awoke his fate was being decided in absentia.

“WHAT!” the fiancées exclaimed as Nodoka broke out her fans and danced.

“It was most distressing,” Kasumi continued. “I had so looked forward to doing that blowjob scene all day. Pity we didn’t get to finish properly.”


Akane, Shampoo and Ukyo facefaulted. They were not prepared for Kasumi to say that.

Nodoka rushed back into the kitchen. She was cackling something about preparing Ranma’s favorites… and adding oysters to the menu.


“Oh honestly, Akane, did you forget that we are acting in movies that will be rotoscoped into ero anime? Of course we will be acting out all kinds of sex scenes. Ranma and nee-chan would be in all sorts of intimate positions, as will all of us in turn. Does it surprise you that he would lose control at being that close to a woman as hot as Kasumi? He IS still a virgin, remember? Their control is notoriously spotty.”

The fiancées quieted down at that. Shampoo and Ukyo fixated on Nabiki’s promise that they too would soon find themselves ‘in all sorts of intimate positions’ in sex scenes with Ranma. They acknowledged that Kasumi was attractive, but thought that they were fairly smoking themselves. They began to make plans to help relieve Ranma of his (and their) pesky virginity issue.

Akane was likewise intrigued with the idea of helping Ranma out. Something Kasumi said however would just not leave her thoughts.

‘O-- onee-chan? What did you mean that you were looking forward to that scene all day? Why would you want to do that… with Ranma?”

“Why, I meant just what I said, Akane. You must admit that Ranma is quite the handsome and physically well-developed young man. Not only is he a remarkable piece of eye-candy, he’s also rather sweet. We often talk while he helps me in the kitchen on mornings that he can dunk Uncle Genma in the pond without getting wet himself. And he always runs my errands or helps me around the house when he has the time.”

Akane was silent. The entire concept of ‘eye-candy’ struck her as more appropriately used in describing Kasumi rather than Kasumi herself describing someone else, least of all Ranma.

Ukyo had a sinking feeling, and was not one to just ignore it. “I agree that he’s that and all…but why would you be interested in him?”

“Is that so strange, Ukyo? I’ve been interested in him since he rescued me from Toma’s island, if not before. He did save me from a fall once. When Ranma did that with Nabiki she became his fiancée for a while. After all he’s done for me and for my family, why wouldn’t I be interested in him?”

“But didn’t you say that younger men bored you? I thought his curse disturbed you! Wasn’t that why you pushed me to become his fiancée?”

“It’s true. I was startled by his curse when we first saw it… and that was part of why I passed on the engagement. However time has allowed me to get to know him better and I can see what a good man he is slowly becoming. Other things in my life have also changed. If I were to be given that chance all over again…

“Besides the one word that can definitely not be used to describe Ranma’s life is ‘boring’.”

“Nice-girl go after Ranma now also?” Shampoo asked with a sinking heart. This too too hard enemy to fight. Cannot kill… I make Ranma promise… “What else go wrong now?”

“Ah…” Eyes turned to Nabiki.

“Not you too!” Akane wailed.

“Sorry, Akane. But you have to admit he’s quite the catch.”

“You only want him for his body and whatever money you can make off it!” Akane spat.

“Not so, sis. I also want him for his mind as well.”


Nabiki snorted. “Don’t tell me that you never wondered how someone with as irregular an attendance record as Ranma had during his trip not only managed to pass Furinkan High’s entrance exam but also keeps from flunking out with all the things he has had to do?”


(Sigh) “He’s smarter than he lets on. He’s practically a genius, and not just at fighting. Sure he may come up with really harebrained schemes but haven’t you noticed that he almost always pulls them off?And don’t forget how easy it is for him to learn a new technique and adapt it for either of his forms; that clearly shows he’s capable of being more than we assume. I want to discover just what he’s hiding behind that rough way of speech. I’d swear he’s only talking that way to make people underestimate him. Kami, he only started saying ‘mebbe’ since you’ve returned from China!

“Given how hot both of his forms are, knowing he’s hiding how smart he is really turns me on. If I’d been rescued by Ranma as often as you three have in the past and loved him then as much as you claimed to, I’d have screwed him silly months ago and dragged him to the nearest wedding chapel before he could walk again!”

“B-- But why are you two going after him now? I’m the one you pushed to become his fiancée!”

“You’re also the one who resisted being his fiancée the most, Akane,” Kasumi said gently. “Your ‘wedding’ the other week was your best chance to show him that you truly loved him. Instead you tried to get him to admit his feelings first; then you and Daddy tried to bribe him into marrying you with the Nanniichuan water. If you don’t want to marry him then you no longer have to. Nabiki or I will eagerly take your place. You’ve rejected the engagement more times than I can count and you’ve also hit him for whatever reason for even more times than that.”

“He deserved it! He was always acting like a per…”


“He wasn’t, was he?”

“No, he wasn’t, Akane. I’m glad that you can now admit that.”

“Oh kami, Kasumi! I’ve lost him haven’t I?”

“I don’t think you’ve lost him just yet, imouto-chan. You’ve hurt him. In our ways we all have. Yet he’s still with us. He has not rejected our friendship. Nor will he reject an offer of love from one of us. We just have to convince him that that offer is sincere, with no strings attached, no hidden agendas, and no pre-conditions made.”

“What Nice-girl mean? You still give us chance to win Ranma? You star of this movie, why you give up advantage?”

“She means, Shampoo, that we ALL have the chance to show Ranma how much we truly care about him,” Nabiki replied. “That way he can choose whom among us he wants to spend the rest of his life with. If we were to treat him as a prize to be won or a fool to be manipulated, we would have only ourselves to blame were he to choose another.”

“And what of family honor?”

“That is a poor weapon to threaten him with, Ukyo. Besides our actions in the past have already stained our honor. The profits from this project would make a reasonable compensation.”

“So… we just start over? Ask Ranma to forgive and forget everything we’ve done to him for the past year? Do we ask him to forget all the good times as well?”

“Oh my, of course not, Akane. Don’t be so bitter. I’m sure Ranma will always treasure the good times. He’s had so few of them before he came here. If anything, he’s had them with you the most of any of us.

“No, we ask him to forgive us for hurting him, mistrusting him, ignoring him, manipulating him, treating him like he had no choices in his life… We ask for all that and we show him why we deserve that forgiveness. We thank him for everything he’s ever done for any of us. We promise to support him with whatever he plans to do with his life, and we pray to the kami that he’ll include us in it.”

Akane’s mood lightened.

“Plus, we also get to make out with our hot fiancé in both his forms for the duration of the next five movies.”


“Think of it as ‘method acting’, Akane-chan.”


The conversation ended as they heard Ranma trudge down the stairs. They awaited his entry with eager anticipation.

Ranma entered the room with all the enthusiasm of the guest of honor at a state execution. His eyes were downcast and his head bowed. He kept his hands together before him in the manner of one whose hands were tied. This incidentally was the universal hand position of any male entering a room full of females who were likely and expected to hit him in the ‘nads at any moment.

Unfortunately the first female who made contact with him was his own mother.

“There he is. My manly, MANLY SON! Wai! You have made me so happy, Ranma. Having sex with Kasumi-chan even before she agreed to become your fourth fiancée. Wai! And getting engaged to Nabiki-chan too. When will you have sex with her? Is tonight too soon? Wai!”



Dinner was strange. Ranma had expected Akane, Shampoo and Ukyo to react to the news that both Kasumi and Nabiki were now his fiancées. He’d expected them to kill him when the news that he had had ‘sex’ with Kasumi came out. Nodoka’s expectation that he’d have sex with Nabiki that evening, he thought, just raised the number of pieces the three of them would tear him to.

He honestly never thought that the founding members of the ‘fiancée brigade’ would react the way they did. Shampoo and Ukyo just blushed at Nodoka’s question and made comments about having ‘dibs’. Instead of hitting him they just led him to the middle of the table and sat on either side. They then made noises about how they couldn’t wait for their turns with him in front of the camera. Akane, instead of punishing him, just stammered apologies and knelt across from him. The three then seemed to compete in trying to feed him all the food that Cologne and Nodoka kept bringing out. The piece de résistance was some dish made up of raw oysters marinated in vinegar, red onions, salt, chili and black pepper. He was sure that Akane was trying to poison him; but Kasumi recognized the Filipino dish that his mother had so proudly made. As poisoning him was now out, it was obvious that the three were planning to kill him with kindness.

All five of the girls taking turns to kiss him goodnight was just too much. Once his mother, Ukyo and the Amazons made their goodbyes, he promptly disappeared to one of his favorite hiding places to think over the events of the past three days. He thought that no one would be eager enough to look for him there.


Thunk. A ladder leaned against the edge of the Tendos’ roof. Apparently someone was.


“Over here, Kasumi.”

The eldest Tendo sister made her way to his side and sat beside him. “What are you doing out here by yourself?”

“Thinking. I didn’t realize that you knew I come up here.”

“I’m not THAT oblivious, Ranma. I do know some things about you.”

“Yeah, I kinda figured that… Just like I figured that there’s a lot of stuff that I don’t know about you, Kasumi.”

“Well then, the best way to deal with that is to ask me. That’s what an engagement is for anyway; for a couple to get to know one another before they get married. So let’s talk and get to know more about whom Ranma and Kasumi really are.”

“…I’ve really misjudged you, haven’t I, Kasumi? There really is more to you than the homemaker you’ve been pretending to be.”

(Sigh) “Not by much, Ranma. And that was as I had intended at the time. I am a homemaker and I love my role; I love taking care of my family… I just didn’t want to let anybody else have a chance to hurt me again.”


“Nabiki told me that she heard Akane tell you about my first crush this morning.”

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have…”

“Don’t be. It’s old news and I got over that hurt long ago. It’s just that for a while I was too afraid to open myself up like that again.”

“What happened to change your mind?”

“A wonderful man fell in love with me.”

“Are you talkin’ about…”

“Ono Tofu? Yes I am. It was kind of hard not to notice his infatuation. Once I got over the shock of somebody actually falling for me, I discovered that I liked it. He was skilled, successful in his chosen field, attractive and not too much older than me. When I told him that I was flattered by his attention he started acting silly. I honestly found it cute. It only happened when we were face-to-face. When we were on the phone we could actually hold real conversations; we’d talk about all kinds of things, mostly about the books he lent me. But when we spoke in person… Finally, he left this February to look for help with his condition.”

“What happened then?”


“Is what you said to Cologne this morning what happened, Kasumi? There was no mention about a baby on the way in the lines Mousse read this morning. Did the doc…”

“Nabiki was right, Ranma. You are smarter than you let others think.”



“So why did you want to take-up the engagement, Kasumi? You didn’t want to when I first arrived. Mebbe this is just you bein’ on the rebound…”


“… 221;

“No, there’s more to it than that, Ranma. I must admit that your curse did throw me for a loop when you first arrived; that and the way I pushed you onto Akane because of it are things that I will always be sorry for. By the time you arrived, Tofu and I already had an understanding. Though we never let anyone know, we were ‘at bat’ as you would say. His condition couldn’t let him get to any base with me, but he never struck-out. We never made any real plans; but I couldn’t accept the engagement then.

“When I received his letter last month I was devastated. His mother finally grew tired of waiting for him to propose to me. He married the youngest daughter of her best friend this spring. He finally wrote to me when he learned that she was pregnant. I honestly thought of killing myself like Miss Jones did in the original movie; I just couldn’t do it at the time, not when we were all worried about Akane being kidnapped and you leaving to rescue her.

“By the time Kimiko contacted me I was feeling better. I still hurt but I was no longer depressed. She wanted me to cater lunches for them; but when I met Ronichiro, he persuaded me to try for the part. What happened at the wedding was what finally convinced me to take them up on the offer; but like I told you this afternoon, I’d really rather not do this with anyone else. In fact, I won’t do this with anyone other than you!”

“But why me, Kasumi? Why’d you wanna be with me for a fiancé?”

“Aside from family honor, Ranma? There are a lot of reasons. It will be my pleasure to convince you of the fact that you are a very desirable young man who is very much deserving of love and affection. But first…”

“But first?”

“Could we continue this inside, Ranma? It’s kind of nippy out here and I’m only wearing a light blouse.”

“Of course.” Ranma tried not to think of just how ‘nippy’ it had gotten. Her light blouse and summer-weight brassiere afforded him two indicators of just how cold Kasumi must be feeling. Whoa, her nipples are bigger than earlier this…

“Ranma, are you alright? Why did you slap yourself like that?”

“Ah, umm… Just a mosquito, Kasumi.”

“Oh. Could I ask you for a favor? I’m not too sure I could keep my balance in the dark. Could I ask you to help me to the ladder?”

“I’ll do better than that, Kasumi.” Ranma grinned. “Get ready for your first ride on ‘the rooftop express’!”

With that he picked her up in his arms and leapt for the backyard.

Kasumi squealed in surprise and buried her face in his shirt.

“Kasumi? Are you OK? Did I frighten you?”

“Yes, I’m OK. And yes, you did!” She bopped him lightly on the head.

“G-- Gomen!”

“Next time give me more warning.”

“Next time?”

“Well I’ll certainly be getting more ‘rides’ with you, won’t I?”

Ranma decided he didn’t want to ask her just what sort of ‘rides’ she was looking for. She had forgiven him; it would be better to quit while he was still ahead.

“Ranma?” She put her head in his shirt once more. He may no longer be ahead.

“Y-- Yes?”

“When was the last time you took a bath?” He definitely heard a sniffing sound.

“Umm. This morning?”

“Didn’t you bathe before coming down to dinner?”

He shook his head.

(Sigh) “Didn’t you wonder why I undressed you and set out new clothes for you to wear? You’re heading for the furoba right now. There’s no way that my cute fiancé is going to smell of anything other than soap!”


In the changing room, Akane was dressing after finishing her bath. She had had a very stressful day. On the plus side: she was finally being taken seriously as a martial artist; she was getting the sort of training she’d always wanted; and not only from her father but also from Genma, Happosai and Cologne! On the minus side: Ranma had two new fiancées; they were her own two sisters; and she had only herself to blame!

If I had only told him I loved him. If only I didn‘t try to bribe him. If only I never started to hit him… and continue to do so. If… Kami, do I still deserve to have him? Do-- Does he still love me? …Did he love me? Did I make him stop?

Her self-recriminations were interrupted as the door slid open to reveal the subject of her musings.

Ranma froze and sweatdropped. When no mallet was forthcoming, he bowed. “Gomen… there was no sign on the door.” He pointed with his basin at the ‘Occupied’ sign on the hook beside Akane.

“No, there wasn’t. It was my fault, Ranma.” Akane bowed. “I just finished. Please go right in”

“Better do as she says, Ranma” Kasumi said as she came up the corridor. “If we take too long we’ll keep Nabiki waiting when she returns from the studio.”

“We?!” “Onee-chan?”

The two turned to regard Kasumi who was wearing a robe over a bathing suit. She was also carrying a basin full of bathing implements.

“We, Ranma. I meant what I said. You’re not going to smell of anything other than soap while you stay in this house. Besides, we’re iinazuke. I’ll have to wash your back someday.”

“But what about my curse?”

“Do you still think I haven’t gotten used to it by now? Then let me prove it to you.”


“Oh forgive me, Akane. Did you want to wash his back too?”

“That’s alright, Kasumi.”

“Are you sure? You could stay to chaperone me…”

Akane caught the hidden question asking her how much she trusted Ranma. ”That won’t be necessary, Kasumi. I know I can trust Ranma.”

Ranma was stunned by Akane’s answer. So stunned that he offered no resistance as Kasumi led him into the furoba and closed the door behind them.


He was brought back to his senses as Kasumi took his basin, set it on the floor beside hers, hung her robe on the hook, and proceeded to pull off his shirt.

“Kasumi,” he furiously whispered, “what are you doing?!”

“I’m getting ready to give my fiancé a bath. What did you think I was doing?”

Ranma blushed as he thought over what he had secretly hoped she would answer to that question.

“Don’t tell me that you’re shy about me seeing you unclothed; not after this afternoon? Don’t forget that this won’t be the first time that I’ve seen you nude. You never did have any feminine modesty… And I did explain what was happening when you first had your period.”

Ranma struggled to remember that his native culture had a long tradition of communal bathing; and that being in the nude and being naked were two different things. Plus it was too late to be ashamed about being nude or naked before Kasumi.

“I could do it myself,” he answered her.

She smiled and proceeded to sit at a stool.

“I thought you bathed at the studio,” he made to question her.

“I did,” she replied. “But I didn’t have any shampoo with me.”

He blushed as he recalled the results of his lack of control. “About that… I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be, it was my fault. I shouldn’t have surprised you like that.”


“I just couldn’t help myself.”

Thud! “Owie.”

“Are you alright?”

“Yeah, it’s only my head.” He chuckled, “I must say, your sense of humor is definitely a pleasant surprise.”

Her eyes twinkled. “Oh, I think you’ll find that I’m full of surprises, Ranma.”

“That’s what I’m afraid of!” He laughed as he finished stripping and wrapped a towel around his waist.

“Brrrr!” he exclaimed as he poured cold water over himself and triggered the change.

“You know,” Kasumi observed, “this is the closest I’ve been to you when you change to your girl form. I’m surprised that your breasts don’t rebound when they bounce into existence just like that.”

“Would you like to pour hot and cold water over me to find out? Ucchan got to do that when she learned about the curse. Maybe I should make it a standard offer for every new fiancée?”

“To watch your breasts bounce as you turn girl? Some of them might really get to like that…”

“Gaah! No I mean… There’s that wicked sense of humor of yours again, Kasumi. Touché.”

“And there’s that intelligence you’ve been hiding, Ranma.”


“You said ‘Maybe’ instead of ‘Mebbe’, and that was definitely a French word I heard.”

“Touché again, Kasumi,” Ranma laughed. “I must say that this is quite a change from usual. We should do this more often.”

“Bathe together, Ranma? Well if you insist…”

“No! I… You got me again,” she shook her head in mock sorrow. “Oh I must be slipping! But I wouldn’t mind doing either, Kasumi.”

“I’m glad to hear that, Ranma. It’s a relief to be able to let go like this. I’ve always wanted to do this.”

“To bathe with me, Kasumi? You only had to ask.” This time it was her eyes that were twinkling.

Kasumi laughed long and hard. Ranma took advantage of the respite to quickly soap herself.

“Just what do you think you’re doing, mister?”


“I told you that I was going to wash your back. You’re not going to get out of it by doing a quick wash-up. I aim to make a proper job of it!”

(Sigh) “I knew it was too good to last. Go ahead; I know when I’m beaten.”

She handed Kasumi her washcloth and turned to face the wall.

“Oh I’m sure that beating will play no part in this relationship, Ranma,” Kasumi said as she ran the cloth thoroughly over Ranma’s back. “Unless you’re into that sort of thing.”

“Stop it, Kasumi. I might lose my balance if I keep laughing like this.”

“What makes you think that I’m kidding, Ranma? If you really are into that sort of thing I might be willing to give it a try.”


“I must say though, I was proud of you with Ronichiro this afternoon”

“How’s that, Kasumi?” Ranma was eager to change the subject.

“You were very relaxed about being nude in front of Ronichiro for those pictures. Most straight men would have felt uncomfortable doing that before a gay man.”

“Yeah, I’ve gotten stared at by guys when I get splashed with cold water in the showers after gym class. I’m kinda used to standing naked in front of men that lust after me. No big. There’s no way they’ll ever get to do anything but look.”

“Then why were you so nervous when you found out that I was also watching? Remember, I’ve already seen you nude before.”

“Not in my guy form you haven’t! Besides, you’re special…”

“I’m happy you think so… As long as you mean that as a compliment. Please don’t think of me as a prude or as some kind of saint. I did help write some of my lines. I’m tired of hiding who and what I am. I won’t give up my role in this household, only my mask as an oblivious air-head. I have my own faults and have made my share of mistakes. I don’t want to be placed on a pedestal. It’s too hard to find my balance on such a narrow position.”

While reflecting on this, Ranma failed to notice that Kasumi had finished soaping her back and had untied her towel. She came back to her senses as Kasumi nudged her to her feet and proceeded to soap her legs.

“Umm. I can…”

“It’s faster this way. Besides we’re both girls. I’ve done this before with Akane and Nabiki. Once I finish you can shampoo your hair.”

“Oh. OK” Ranma tried to ignore the thrill as she felt Kasumi run her hands over her legs. She didn’t think it was necessary for her to use her fingers as a squeegee to wipe off the excess soap from her thighs or butt. But she wasn’t going to ask her to stop. Nosiree. Not with the way she was starting to feel down between her…

(Splash!) “Ahh!”

“I’m sorry, Ranma. It’s just that with the way your nipples suddenly hardened and your thighs started trembling while I was washing them, I thought you were starting to catch a chill. I’m sorry I startled you.”

“Th-- That’s alright, Kasumi. I wasn’t feelin’ cold. I just wasn’t expecting to be splashed with hot water… like that.” Hot water? Lemme see… Lower voice - check. Higher eye-level - check. Absence of upper jiggly bits - check. Presence of lower dangly bits - check. Soapy hands on said lower dangly bits - che… Hello?!

“Well if you say that you’re not feeling cold, I’ll take your word for it, Ranma. I must say that there is definitely no sign of ‘shrinkage’ here.” She continued to soap his… bits. “No shrinkage at all…”

Ranma found this extremely exciting. His bits seemed to agree and wanted to get a better look around.

“Ooh myyy… I didn’t know you liked me this much, Ranma. I didn’t realize how much a close-up puts things in perspective. That sock must really have been confining.”

“Gaah!” In his desperation to avoid a potential malleting Ranma leapt for the ceiling. His attempt to perform Konatsu’s cling-to-the-ceiling-and-hope-they-don’t-look-up-and-see-that-I’ ;m-here technique was nearly perfect. He had ignored one thing in his execution though.

Thud! “Owie.” Ninjas who perform the cttcahtdluastih technique do not, as a rule, do so when completely covered in soapy water.

Kasumi looked down at Ranma’s swirling eyes and giggled. “Honestly, Ranma. I know that you’re a skilled martial artist; there’s no need for you to put on a demonstration of ninja skills just to impress me. Oh, I am afraid our life must seem very dull and quiet compared to yours. We are but three young non-blondes and brunettes, all between sixteen and nineteen-and-a-half, cut off in this dojo with no one to protect us. Oooh. It is a lonely life: bathing, dressing, undressing, making exciting underwear. We are just not used to handsome knights. Nay. Nay. Come. Come. You may lie here. Oh, but you are wounded!”

Ranma sat up and started to chuckle. “I didn’t know you watched ‘Monty Python’, Kasumi.”

“Tofu did, it was in one of his books. And yourself?”

“I had to hide from Akane and Shampoo in a theater once. I thought I could relate to Sir Galahad so that quote stuck in my mind.”

“So I could imagine. Why did you jump like that?”

“Umm… Would you believe a muscle spasm?”

“Pull the other one, Ranma.”

(Sigh) “You got me. I just wanted to make sure I wouldn’t get malleted.”

“Akane isn’t here, Ranma. And besides she knows what we’re doing and didn’t object… not that she has that much say in the matter.”

“Gomen… Old habits, y’know?”

“Forgiven. Now come over here and let me finish what I started.”


“I WILL be working in close contact with your body for the next few weeks, Ranma. So I DO have to get used to touching it, just as you will have get used to my doing so. Besides, I have an interest in making sure you keep clean. If you always soap and rinse in cold water, how often do you get to properly wash your man parts?”


“I thought so. Come on.”

Ranma stood before her as Kasumi resumed her interrupted activity. He tried to maintain a stoic attitude.

“That’s better, dear.”


“I must say that I’m surprised you trim yourself this way. I’d heard that most men didn’t bother.”

“Well it sort of… became necessary.”


“Long hair down there gets inside my girl parts when I change. I kept getting chafed.”

“I’m glad you do so. I find the thought of ‘fuzzy balls’ disturbing. You missed a few spots though. Would you like me to do them for you?” She held up a lady’s razor.

Ranma did what any red-blooded man would do when faced with a woman holding a sharp implement in the immediate vicinity of his family jewels. He gulped, smiled as sweetly as he could and said: “Pleese?”


Kasumi hummed to herself as she went about her work. Aside from a twinge when she first applied her razor, Ranma had kept perfectly immobile. That was apparently no longer the case. There was a slight loss of firmness in her target and his balls definitely seemed to be rising as his cremasteric reflex kicked in.

Oh my! Is this the shrinkage I’ve heard about? Perhaps some more hot water…

She poured. Still no change.

She glanced at Ranma’s face. His eyes were scrunched and a sickly smile was plastered on it.

The poor dear’s terrified! Of me? …How delicious! Still I couldn’t have him actually scared of me. That’s where Akane went wrong. I wonder if I should…

An evil grin graced her lips. She licked them. She then ran her lips over his recently shaved private parts.

“Ka-- Kasumi?!”

“I’m just making sure that I got all the stubble, Ranma. Just hold still; I’m almost finished.”

The aforementioned loss of firmness immediately reversed itself.

Yes… That’s what I like to see.


Ranma came back to his senses as Kasumi finished shaving him by giving ‘little’ Ranma-kun a final wipe and a kiss.

“I must say, Ranma, you taste much better than that Lycra sock.”

“Umm, thanks?”

“It also looked really confining. Maybe you should consider not wearing it altogether? I certainly wouldn’t mind.”

“Let me… think about that, Kasumi.”

“OK. Now go and shampoo your hair. Be sure to use warm water.”


“The ‘Dragon’s whisker soup’ has already worn off, hasn’t it? Besides your pigtail is too distinctive. You’ll either have to wear wigs or give Nabiki and Ronichiro more work just to edit it out of the film.”

“Alright, Kasumi.”


Splash! “I’m finished.”

“Good, now it’s my turn.”

“Your turn? I thought you’d already finished shampooing, Ka…” Ranma turned and his eyes bugged-out.

Kasumi sat on the floor, on top of her towel, out of her bathing suit.

“It’s only fair, Ranma.” She said as she passed him her washcloth and razor. “I can chafe too. I was able to trim some of it with a pair of scissors earlier; but I couldn’t shave myself properly just by looking in the mirror. So would you mind?” She pointed at her lower bits enticingly. “After seeing how the actress in the original movie didn’t shave, I wanted to make more of a contrast.”

“Ho-- How much?”

“Oh just leave a small triangle here above my slit. That should be enough.”

“No, how much do I pay you for doing this?”

She giggled. “That’s more of what Nabiki would say… or more what she would have used to say. Just think of this as a favor for a favor. I did just take care of your shaving needs, so it’s fair for you to take care of mine. Just remember that we should do this every three days if not sooner.”

Ranma decided not to clarify that he meant to ask how much he should pay for Kasumi to NOT mention doing this. He thought that it was best not to rock the boat too much. Hiroshi and Daisuke would never believe that this was happening to him… without his getting killed. Best not to prove them right. Sometimes it was best just to do the job. He thought that he could enjoy this kind of work.

“So, do I just go ahead and do this or do you have a lubricant?”

Kasumi blushed at Ranma’s choice of words but gamely answered. “Lubrication shouldn’t be necessary if you can get me ‘wet’ enough… In any case here,” she passed him a can. “I borrowed Father’s shaving cream.”

Ranma looked at the can of Gillette Arctic Ice Gel. He frowned at the warning printed regarding possible allergic reactions.

“Have you ever used this brand before?”

“No, but Nabiki swears by it. Why do you ask?”

“I think it would be best if we tried it out on some other part of your skin first, just to make sure that you’re not allergic to it.”

“Oh, I didn’t think of that. Go ahead.”

Ranma shook the can and removed the cap. He aimed the can over his fingers and pressed the button. Unfortunately he should have aimed it AT his fingers. A stream of gel shot out of the can; it bypassed his fingers and hit Kasumi on her right nipple.

She yelped in surprise and then started to moan.

“Kasumi! Are you alright? I’m sorry… I didn’t mean to…”

“Oh, YES! I feel fine, Ranma. That sort of tickles. Do it again!”

He obliged her and aimed for her other breast.

“Oh my! I wonder if this is why Nabiki always borrows this from Father…” She moaned again as she laid back and rubbed the expanding foam over her breasts.

“…So, should I go ahead and…” Ranma pointed the can between Kasumi’s legs.

“I-- I think it would be better if you aimed it at your hand then spread it yourself, Ranma. I’m a little too sensitive down there just now.”

He slowly trickled warm water over Kasumi’s pubic region, making sure to get her ‘wet’ enough. He then shot some of the gel onto his right hand and allowed it to expand. He brought his hand towards her hips… and paused.

“Kasumi? Umm, could you, mebbe, spread your legs… a bit?”

“Oh, I’m sorry. I forgot.” She bent her knees and placed her feet half a meter apart. “Is that better?”

“It’ll do for now.” It certainly gave him a better view.

Ranma got off the stool to kneel beside Kasumi and applied the foam over the top and sides of her triangle; he then ran his hand between her legs and over her lower lips.

“Ahh! That’s cold!”

“Sorry!” Ranma squeaked as Kasumi’s right hand suddenly grabbed his semi-rigid penis, and squeezed it before wandering down to spread the foam around her just visible clitoris. “Just let me finish this; I’ll be as quick as I can.”

“No! No, take your time. Just be gentle. I don’t want you to cut me by accident if you rush this.”

“Slow and gentle. Yes, ma’am,” Ranma chuckled. It was nice to get some payback for all the teasing he’d undergone earlier.

Ranma playfully shot a small stream of gel along the undersides of Kasumi’s breasts… just to keep her distracted. By the moans following her initial squeak of surprise, and the way she was using both hands to rub the expanding foam; he figured he had succeeded. He repositioned himself and knelt between Kasumi’s spread legs. He squirted some more gel at his hand then spread the foam over the skin between her left thigh and pudenda; he repeated the process on her right. Finally, he scooped some of the foam with his middle and index fingers and spread the lubricant over the skin between the base of her slit and her winking rosebud. He got rid of the excess foam by rubbing his hand on her quivering tummy.

Ranma fired off another stream of gel into the valley between Kasumi’s heaving breasts before picking up the razor. He then oh so slowly drew the razor over Kasumi’s pubic mound, eventually reducing her neatly trimmed hair by over a third. He wiped-off loose hairs with his left hand then rinsed it and the razor in a basin full of warm water. He then grasped the edge of her right outer lip and shaved outwards toward her thigh, making sure to again take his time. After another rinse he returned and performed the same procedure on her left. He then rubbed his thumbs over her just-shaved skin in slow circles, gently ‘checking’ for stubble.

He grinned as he noted her inner lips start to swell and puff out under his ministrations. Their state of moisture did most definitely not come from the water he had poured earlier. He then grabbed the other basin and filled it with warm water. He rinsed her skin of remaining foam and loose hair. He slid his pinky along the groove between her outer and inner lips… to remove any leftover lubricant; it wouldn’t do for Kasumi to develop a delayed allergic reaction. He then rubbed his fingers on the insides of her slit… to make sure that no hair had entered; the entire point to this exercise WAS to avoid chafing… wasn’t it? Finally, he spread his fingers, widening her opening, as he dribbled the remaining water over her protruding clit… just to make sure that he didn’t leave any foam inside of course.

Ranma did take note of Kasumi’s rapid breathing as he did all this. It would not do to rush this. He spread the washcloth over the hair covered towel before he pulled Kasumi back upright.

“Slow and gentle, as you requested. I hope milady approves of the result.” He grinned at her.

She smiled back then launched herself into his lap. Her legs and arms enveloped him as she surprised him with a wet kiss on his open mouth.

(Smooooch!) “I most certainly do, good sir! And I look forward to a repeat treatment in three days time.”

“Three days?”

“Or sooner…” She rocked her hips as she rubbed her lower lips over his growing erection. “Why wait and risk getting chafed on stubble? Three days is definitely the longest I am willing to wait.” She clenched her butt cheeks over the tip of his shaft.

Suddenly, seeking payback didn’t seem like a good idea.

“Now what are you going to do about this?”

“This?” Now he knew it wasn’t a good idea.

“This.” She pointed to her foam covered breasts just before she rubbed them over his chest. “You forgot to wipe off this foam. Now my breasts are all tingly and slippery. You’re going to have to just keep on wiping them to get rid of all that lubrication…”

Seeking payback was definitely NOT a good idea… It was a brilliant one.

After kissing her deeply once more, Ranma reached for the shower hose. He turned the nozzle to its gentlest setting before opening the valve. He then aimed the warm spray at Kasumi’s breasts as she leaned back to let the water run down her front, between her spread legs and onto Ranma’s lap. The warmth of the water could not compare however to the fire he was feeling from Kasumi’s loins just above his throbbing dick. The water dripping between them did not feel as moist as the liquid dripping from between her lips and onto the top of his shaft. This was definitely getting to third base with a vengeance! All thoughts of mallets and other fiancées quickly left his mind.

He reached forward and started to wipe off the foam from her right breast with his left hand. Kasumi took the showerhead from him and thus freed his right hand to minister to her neglected left breast. He gently rubbed his thumbs over her stiff nipples, and gazed in wonder once more at their size. He stroked his fingers from the outer to the lower sides of her breasts; he then raised them to rub his cheeks between them. Finally he kissed, licked and suckled at each breast, gently chewing on each nipple. He felt a fresh gush of liquid from Kasumi as he did so.

He heard Kasumi start to moan as she once more frotted herself on his erection. Her hands started to wander and clutch at his hair and shoulders.

He kissed Kasumi deeply yet again, letting their tongues dance against one another. He reached and put his right hand down her curvy backside to her ass, kneading and cupping it. His left hand slid down her front and he slipped his index finger into her slit and gently teased her inner folds. His thumb and middle finger rubbed her clitoris and was rewarded as more honey coated his fingers.

It’s time, he thought.

He transferred his right hand below her thighs to her buttocks and let his index finger tickle her rosebud. His arms guided her reflex as it lifted her up and backward half an arm’s length. His arms further spreading her legs as he aimed his hips. He continued kissing her as he then moved forward and he lowered her… onto an empty lap.

Ranma’s neck leaned back as Kasumi’s head pressed forward into the kiss. He felt her firm, full breasts settle on top of his own set… WTF?!

Ranma-chan leaned back out of the kiss and opened her eyes. She looked with confusion into Kasumi’s sad eyes. She felt the cold water from the showerhead running down her back. HER eyes… HER back…

“Why? I thought you wanted this.”

“I do Ranma, very much. I just didn’t want my first time or yours to be on a bathroom floor.”


“Don’t be sad, Ranma. We will have that first time, just not here, just not now. We can still make out though.”

“We can?”

“Of course we can. You still haven’t checked to see if you left any stubble.”

“Umm, Kasumi, from what I just felt I’m pretty sure that there’s none of that stubble left over.”

“Oh but I must insist that you take a closer look, Ranma,” she grinned. “After all, I’ve heard that the lips and tongue are the most touch-sensitive parts of the body.”

“Are you sure about that?” Ranma asked with an answering grin.

“Not really. But does it hurt to try?”


Any further conversation was terminated as the door to the furoba slid open. Nabiki entered, naked as the day she was born…

“…still in there, Nabiki. Honestly, why do we even bother having an ‘Occupied’ sign at all when…”

…followed by Akane, who’s face was wearing a scowl of annoyance directed at Nabiki.

Said scowl of annoyance was replaced with an expression of pole-axed shock as the youngest Tendo beheld her eldest sister and her erstwhile exclusive fiancée’s naked forms sitting locked in an embrace on the bathroom floor. Said expression of pole-axed shock was in turn replaced with one of wistful resignation as Akane’s glance took in the position of Kasumi on Ranma’s lap. Her legs locked around the redhead’s waist; and her arms trapping Ranma’s arms against her torso..

This is Kasumi. I will not hurt her. She is also a fiancée, she has the right. We agreed not to fight. This is Ranma. I will not kill the ba… will not hurt him. He is special to me. I will not drive him away. She repeated this litany over and over as she struggled to control old instincts to pound the pervert for molesting her sister.

This control was assisted by the obvious way in which Kasumi was using leverage and her legs to keep Ranma’s hands pinned between them. If anything it was becoming obvious that Kasumi was the one molesting Ranma.

“I see that the two of you have started without me,” Nabiki mock-scolded.

“I’m sorry, Nabiki; but can you blame me?”

“Honestly? No. Now scoot over, sis. It’s my turn to get to third base.”

“Your turn?!”

“Of course, Akane. You remember the ground rules we set before dinner tonight: We are all at bat and can get to first base with Ranma anytime. We can steal second base whenever we’re alone with him. But we can only get to third base when at least two of us are present, to prevent anybody from stealing home. If at least three of us are present, we can go all the way home if all the girls present get at least one home run from Ranma.

“Kasumi got to third base this afternoon. Auntie Nodoka approved and is sort of expecting it of me. With Kasumi here to keep us company I get to take three bases tonight. My turn.”

“Unless… you’d like to be the third fiancée and help Nabiki and I initiate Ranma tonight, Akane? I’d really like to ride Mr. Horsie soon.”

Akane responded in the only way she could: she stepped back into the hallway, closed the door, leaned against it, had a nosebleed and fainted.


Ignorant of the fate of their youngest sister, the two Tendo girls looked at the closed door and shared one thought, Pity.

Nabiki then made a shooing motion at Kasumi, who reluctantly relinquished her position on Ranma’s lap. She eagerly took Kasumi’s vacated seat and frowned at Ranma-chan’s slackjawed expression.

“I think you broke her, sis.”

“Oh my! Did I really?” Kasumi cooed as she knelt behind Ranma and wrapped her arms around the neo-girl. “All we did was shave each other and fool around a little.”

“That sounds suspiciously like another run at third base to me, Kasumi. I expected you of all people to follow rules that you set yourself.”

“Well I did ask Akane if she wanted to join us! Besides, can you really blame me? I’ve been aroused since this afternoon. After all, I didn’t get to properly finish my scenes with Ranma earlier!”

(Sigh) “No I can’t, Kasumi. Now what are we going to do about Sleeping Beauty here?”

“You do remember that she woke to a kiss, don’t you, Nabiki?” Kasumi giggled. “And if that doesn’t help,” she added as her hands raised to Ranma-chan’s breasts, “there’s always the addition of chest compression to mouth-to-mouth resuscitation.” She finished with a gentle squeeze of Ranma’s tits as she pressed her own into the back of the redhead’s chest.


Ranma’s brain was in lockdown mode. He was caught in flagrante delecto by both Akane AND Nabiki, and in a VERY compromising position with Kasumi to boot. He was DEFINITELY going to die young, poor and virginal! He figured that if he stayed put, there was no way that Akane would mallet him without risking Kasumi. Nabiki’s explanation of the way that dinner went earlier put him in shock.

He came back to his senses as he felt a tongue slip around his own and the pressure of full breasts on top oh his, er her own set.

Kami, it was just a dream. I musta imagined Akane and Nabiki walkin’ in on us. I’m still kissin’ Kasumi… Why does she taste like coffee? If Kasumi’s in my lap then who’s rubbin’ their tits in my back and sqeezin’ mine from behind?

All musing ended as Ranma felt one of the hands squeezing her breasts wander down to caress her own slippery folds.



Nabiki leaned back as she felt Ranma’s exclamation echo in her own mouth.

“Welcome back, Saotome.”

“Na-- Nabiki!”

“Now, now, Ranma. I’m sure that by the time we’re finished you can start calling me, ‘Biki-chan’. At least in private.”

“It wasn’t a dream? What you told Akane, I mean?”

“Didn’t you explain it to him, Kasumi?”

“I was waiting for one of you to join us, Nabiki. I wasn’t planning on being by ourselves in the furoba tonight. I figured on explaining it to him after he’d had a long soak in the furo.”

“What changed your mind?”

“He needed a bath. I needed a shave. I was feeling horny and was owed a proper trip to third base.” Kasumi shrugged. “Win-Win-Win in my opinion.”

“And if Ranma wanted to steal home?”

“He did. So did I. I told him that I didn’t want our first time to be on the furoba floor.”

“Dammit, sis! What if I wanted my first time with Ranma tonight?”

“Since Akane opted not to join us, that’s out unless you’re willing to call Ukyo-chan or Shampoo-chan over, Nabiki. I still think that it’s best to go slow and not rush into this. We’re all new to this sort of thing.”

“Kasumi… What’s going on here?”

“What’s going on, Ranma, is that we’re going to help Nabiki clean herself up. Then we’re all going to take a nice hot soak in the furo while we discuss how we, your fiancées, decided to peacefully settle our differences and give you a free hand on whom, if anyone, you’ll marry.”

“Hey. What about me getting to third base with Ranma?!”

“That’s a given, Nabiki. Right, Ranma?” Kasumi asked as she tickled Ranma-chan’s clit before lifting her hand and smearing Ranma’s secretions on Nabiki’s lips.

Kasumi rose and squatted behind Nabiki. She then turned on the water and directed it over Nabiki and Ranma-chan’s breasts. She smiled as she imagined their nipples hardening and poking into each other’s chest. She directed some of the cold water over her own chest and rubbed her own hardened nipples against her middle sister’s back.

“You take care of her front, Ranma. I’ve got her back.”

End Part I.


Author’s Notes: The Filipino dish incidentally, is called kinilaw na talaba which translates to raw oysters pickled in vinegar. My native tongue is a very descriptive language. Give it a try sometime. Just remember it’s prepared only an hour before serving and keeps for at most 1 day in the fridge. Beats mustard and horseradish any day IMO.

Georgina Spelvin, the actress who played Juliet Jones in Gerard Damiano’s original movie, was first hired as a cook before being offered the lead. This is yet one more instance where I felt that Kasumi best suited this fanfiction adaptation.


Interlude 2:

“Ronichiro, is Nabiki-chan still here?”

“No, Kimiko, you just missed her. She’s on her way home now. Is anything the matter?”

“I hope not…”

“What’s bothering you, Kimiko? I can tell that you’re worried about something.”

(Sigh) “You know me too well. I just received a call from one of our investors in New York. She’ll be flying over for a meeting next week and would like to see what ‘progress’ we’ve made…”

“What?! We’ve only just started principal shooting. We’re not due to start actual animation work unti post-production starts ten days from now!”

“I tried to explain that to her, but she insisted on coming over anyway.”

“Typical gaijin arrogance…”

“She DID mention that she had lined up additional funding. Enough to complete all five movies; even enough for an additional two movies… IF she likes what she sees next week.”

“Wonderful American work ethic… So in touch with our own!

“What are you waiting for? I can have Cologne-san and Kasumisan’s scene ready by Monday. Tell Nabiki-san to help Kasumi-san take care of Ranma-san’s hang up by Monday afternoon. We’ll shoot his sex scenes with Kasumi-san then.”

“But I thought you planned to spend tomorrow with Haruko?”

“He’ll understand; there will be other Sundays to spend together.

“Now, fire-up the espresso machine! I’ve got the next thirty-six hours to rotoscope as much of the Lonkuh-sama and Ran-sensei scenes as I can. And you’ve got a script to re-write!”


Discarded Scene Omake 5:

“I’m curious though, sis. When did you stop calling him ‘Ranma-kun’ and just ‘Ranma’?”“Why ever since we got to ‘third base’, Nabiki,” Kasumi answered with a bright smile. “After all, it would be hypocritical for iinazuke to address each other so formally after becoming so intimate.”"And just what you mean by ’iinazuke’, sister mine?" Nabiki asked in a very frosty voice."I mean, dear sister," Kasumi replied in an equally frosty tone, "that since dear Akane failed to fulfill the Tendo-Saotome pact the other week, it has fallen to one of us to marry Ranma."Ranma boggled and started to sweat drop."I agree, onee-san. But since when did the engagement fall to YOU?""Ever since Ranma not only got to third base with me, but also admitted he wanted me, Nabiki.""...""Besides, you already had your chance.""B-- But that’s not fair! Ranma didn’t know what we were planning. He didn’t know he could get to choose from between us! Besides, I got to suck on his dick before you did!""If he didn’t know he had the choice then that makes his declaration all the more honest, ne? And so what if you blew him first? I was the first to make him come! You snooze, you lose, Nabiki.""There is only one way to settle this, Kasumi," Nabiki declared as she invaded Kasumi’s personal space."Oh, and what is that, little-biki?" Kasumi smirked as she leaned forward in turn."Girls, please!" Ranma cried as he tried to separate them.Kasumi and Nabiki stared at each other, nodded, turned, knelt, reached out, yanked Ranma’s pants down and declared, "We let Ranma decide!"---
And-the-winner-is… Omake:
Ranma groaned and grabbed the top of Kasumi’s head as he shot a load down her throat.Kasumi withdrew, licked her lips and wiped her chin. She looked at Kimiko and Ronichiro who held up signs reading ‘9.8’ and ‘9.9’, grinned at Nabiki and said, "Now THAT’S how you deep throat.""I can’t believe you did that, Kasumi," Ranma croaked."I can’t believe I lost to Kasumi... again!" Nabiki cried. She pushed Kasumi aside as she knelt back in front of Ranma. "Let’s make it best three out of five!""You’re on!" Kasumi retorted."Kami, where’s that tomboy when I need her?" Ranma wondered.


I-DID-say-that-I-was-a-bastard Omake:

Ranma groaned and grabbed the top of Kasumi’s head as he shot a load down her throat. Kasumi withdrew, licked her lips and wiped her chin. She looked at Kimiko and Ronichiro who held up signs reading ‘5.5’ and ‘4.5’.

“What!? That was good sucking! How could you give such low scores?”

“You were slobbering too much, child,” Cologne explained as she pogoed over. “Now step aside and let a REAL expert show you two how it’s done!”


Author’s Notes: The preceding Omake was taken from the closing scene of Chapter 3. It was presented as an alternate direction for this story in a discussion on whether or not to just write a PWP story. As you can see, I’ve decided to write-in a credible back story instead of just outright smut. The smut is there, just not on the FFN version. I’ll be porting this story over to MMO, once I get the formatting whipped into shape.

You might also notice that this is only Part I of Chapter 4 instead of the entire chapter. At over 13,000 words (in the full version) this is already the longest chapter I’ve ever written; and the night is still not over. This part has mainly dealt with Kasumi’s character. Part II shall deal with Nabiki. Portions of the story in parts 1 & 2 of this chapter will contain some of the ideas I explored in ‘Sexy Moms, Horny Losers’; another story I started on while in the middle of this chapter. I’d like to reassure those who story alerted these 2 stories that I have not abandoned them. Portions of the next 2 chapters and a side-story for tDiMT and the next chapter of SMHL have been written (some of them have even been previewed). I’ve just been busy reading other people’s stories.

Finally, I’d like to thank my fellow perverts at TFF for encouraging me to write this story. Thanks especially go out to Lufio, blue7zone, GenocideHeart, Scygnus Darkhawk, PCHeintz72, Prince Charon, David Alan Abramczyk, toraneko, AyanamiRei2 and rootathell for participating in the threadjack that hammered out the American 1st, 2nd, 3rd base, homerun and Japanese Step A-B-C make-out metaphors mentioned here and in Chapter 3.


Please review.