The Devil in Miss Tendo

A Ranma ½ fanfic

by avis de rapina


Foreword: I have decided to port this story to MediaMiner as the lemon scenes requested by my pre-readers cannot, in good conscience, be said to comply with the limitations set by FFNet. Now that I can write this story free of those restrictions, I must make the following statement. Please be warned that this story deals with material of an adult nature, philosophic concepts not for the spiritually immature, painful attempts at ‘poetry’, humor just barely beyond sophomoric… and lots of sploogey bodily fluids.



Teaser: Kasumi has a new job. That’s good because they need the money to rebuild the dojo. Only Kasumi won’t take it unless Ranma and company join her. That’s bad because they REALLY need the money. So they do. That’s good too... isn’t it?


Chapter 1:
‘Titles / Quotes in speech or thoughts’
Sound effects
(Script Directions)


Disclaimer en quatrain:
Takahashi Rumiko, mangaka divine!
The rights to Ranma Nibunnoichi art thine.
If I had implied that I own them, I’m sorry...
I just meant to borrow them for this one story!

(Did you really expect iambic pentameter?)


Summary: This story developed from a crackfic idea I posted on Hawk’s forum. Basically it takes part of the plot of an old movie and places the Ranma cast right in it. Obviously, everyone is going to be way OOC. We begin one week after the wedding attempt in volume 38 of the manga. Soun’s ‘little talk’ post-wedding never took place; and it’s summer break in early August 2006.


Part I:

A week following the ‘wedding fiasco’, Nabiki called in all the involved parties to a conference at the Tendo Do-- er, residence. All the parties, that is, with the exception of the Kunos and Ryoga.

The situation is bad enough, she thought, that there is no need to tempt fate with the presence of the ward’s greatest resident lunatics and visiting berserker. If this works, all of our problems will be solved.

She had the angles on controlling her family’s reactions to her plans. Ranma might be a problem, but she had the means to get both Genma and Nodoka on her side.

She had no illusions about her ability to face down the Kuonji girl. She only hoped that Ukyo’s desperation to get back into Ranma’s good graces would keep the chef in check long enough for her to get out of the line of fire.

The Amazons were also dangerous. Thankfully, she was able to get Cologne’s tacit agreement to her plans; not to mention her promise to keep the two younger Amazons under control. Her asking price had been well within her means. In fact, she mused, Cologne’s active participation could actually significantly cut-down on our overhead. I might see a profit sooner than expected.

Her musings were interrupted as Ranma sat across the table from her and asked, “So, Nabiki, we’re all here. What did you want to say to us?”

“Not quite, Ranma-baby. We’re waiting on six more people.”

“Six more people?! If you invited those home-wreckers here again after what happened last week...”

“What happened last week is exactly why I invited them over, Akane,” Nabiki interjected. “And let’s not forget the damage you did yourself.”

“...” Akane’s retort was stilled as Kasumi gently placed her hand on her shoulder.

“Feh!” Ranma snorted. “I don’t think I’m ready to forgive those idiots.”

“Ranma,” Nodoka chided, “it is not fair to reject Nabiki-chan’s ideas without giving them a hearing.”

His reply was stilled as the doorbell rang.

Kasumi stood to answer it. She returned shortly followed by Ukyo and Konatsu. Who were in turn followed by Shampoo, Mousse and Cologne.

The girls’ expressions mirrored both shame and despair. Ranma’s treatment of them and his response to their attempts at apology over the past week could have put the Reversal Jewel to shame. Their glances in his direction were coldly returned with an accompanying grunt.

Konatsu gave a sheepish bow of apology to the Tendos and Saotomes; whereas Mousse directed a defiant glare at the television. Cologne bowed politely to the parents and Nabiki, then directed a wild grin at Ranma and Akane.

Said grin unnerved Akane enough that she turned to Nabiki to ask...

Only to be anticipated as Nabiki murmured, “...and one to go.”

“One to go, Nabiki? I would have thought that both Kuno-sempai and Kodachi would be coming.”

“I would have expected Ryoga, but knowing him he’s probably in Paris looking for the Tokyo Tower,” Ranma muttered quietly. WHAP! SPLASH! “Ite...” Apparently not quietly enough.

Nothing but pond, Akane smirked. “Anyway, Nabiki,” she said as she turned back to the room, “just who else are we waiting for?”


“Oh, hell. No!”

Showtime! Nabiki smirked.


Imagine a scene of utter chaos, mayhem, rooftop chases, martial prowess, random malletings, ye ancient magicks, desperate groveling. Got it? Good! Then write it into your own fic. The scene we return to, while tense, had none of the above.

“Dread Master!”

Well... maybe some groveling was to be seen. But surprisingly none of the utter chaos, mayhem, rooftop chases, martial prowess, random malletings nor ye ancient magicks we have come to expect. What was wrong with this picture?


Happosai bowed politely to the assembly then took the seat so recently vacated by Ranma. He gratefully accepted some tea from Kasumi as he greeted Nabiki, “So sorry, I hope that I did not keep you waiting.”

As the martial artists, with the exception of Cologne, recovered from a painful facefault; Nabiki answered, “Not at all, Grandfather Happosai, we were only about to start.”

Happosai nodded and replied, “Then perhaps we can wait for Ranma to change back and dress in drier clothes before we start? I am sure that he would not want to miss any of this.”

Another facefault followed. Ranma gazed into the sky. He was sure that Ryoga would be flying-by in a moment.


“Basically,” Nabiki stated as the meeting finally started, “the events of last week were more than our insurers could stomach. They have effectively refused our claim for the damages to the dojo.”

She overrode the ensuing arguments. “It does not matter who started it. Everyone here is at fault. We all share some part of the blame!”

“You honestly can’t blame me for…” “You certainly do share…” Akane and Ranma exclaimed simultaneously.

“Yes, she can, Akane,” Kasumi softly answered. “Your past history of striking Ranma-kun and the resulting property damage is well-known.”

She turned and bowed. “And don’t be too angry at Nabiki, Ranma-ku… Ranma-san. The outcome of the wedding was not entirely her fault. It was also some of mine.”

“And some of mine as well, my son,” Nodoka added. “We both insisted that Nabiki invite all of your friends. Their actions are partly our responsibility.”

Akane and Ranma remained standing in slack-jawed surprise, then fell back into their seats with an audible thump.

“Ano…” Ukyo uttered, “not so, Auntie. I did not have to become so violent… I did not have to endanger anyone… I-- I did not have to lose my friend.” She turned and cried into Konatsu’s kimono.

“Gomen, Ranma-sama. I should have known better than to help her make those special modern celebratory gunpowder okonomiyaki,” the kunoichi offered.

“Umm. You didn’t mean to do anything wrong, Konatsu,” Ranma replied.

“And you did not lose me as a friend, Uky-- Ucchan. I’m plenty mad and very disappointed, but I don’t hate you. You have some serious making-up to do, but I’d still like to have my first-ever friend back.”

“Ai-- Ranma,” Shampoo whispered, “I too very sorry. I hope you also no hate Shampoo forever.”

“Shampoo,” Ranma said clearly, “that will be entirely up to you. I don’t love you the way you want me to. But I don’t hate you neither. Not really. Your curse form’s mebbe something I can’t help but avoid, and your laws are not what I’d like to live under. But I’d still like to have you as a friend. If you can accept that and promise not to hurt or try and kill my friends, then mebbe we can be friends again.”

Shampoo smiled faintly. “Is small chance, but Shampoo take it. Shampoo promise no hurt Ranma friends. Shampoo owe Ranma for saving from Maomolin and Kiima.”

The glare on Mousse’s face softened. “Perhaps I might have misjudged you, Saotome. Despite my own feelings for Shampoo, seeing her in misery for this past week has been painful for me. I still do not believe that you are the man for her. But after seeing you give her some hope for happiness I cannot continue to hold you at fault. I too apologize for my part in last week.”

“Apologies accepted…” Ranma said with a glance at a fuming Akane,” but only if you all make them to Akane. It was her wedding after all.”

Akane practically glowed as she graciously accepted Kasumi, Nodoka, Ukyo, Konatsu, Shampoo and Mousse’s apologies. Sometimes, just sometimes, Ranma says the right thing.

“Kami knows when or if she’ll ever have one again.” WHAP! SPLASH! “Ite...” And sometimes, more often than not, he doesn’t.


“So, Nabiki,” Akane said as Ranma retired to change once again, “What do we do now, and why aren’t the Kunos here? I would have thought you’d go after them for the money to rebuild the dojo.”

“Kuno-baby and his little sister aren’t here because they are presently engaged in explaining certain pictures to the Tokyo Metropolitan Police. And don’t worry; I have plans to get them to shoulder their shares of the rebuilding cost.” An evil grin appeared on Nabiki’s face.

“What pictures would those be, Nabiki?” Ranma asked with a suspicious scowl as he reentered the room.

“Why these pictures, Ranma-baby,” she cooed as she passed over some Polaroids. The first set showed Tatewaki attacking an unarmed, bleeding male-Ranma with a drawn katana. The next set showed Kodachi using her ribbon on a female-Ranma. And the last set were close-ups of the ribbon showing the metal edges… the bloody, serrated metal edges.

“Where did you… never mind. Are you crazy? Kuno’s gotta know you took these pictures!”

“Ranma, Ranma, Ranma. Didn’t you notice little old moi in some of those pictures? I can honestly tell Kuno-baby that neither I nor any of us took those pictures.” The evil grin returned. “I asked Sasuke to take them.” Nabiki buffed her fingernails on her blouse. “Apparently, he’s rather underfed at the chateau Kuno. The Kunos’ little vacation at the courtesy of the TMPD will give him a few more days to eat to his heart’s content without worrying about Kodachi’s poisons.”

Turning back to the subject at hand, Nabiki adopted a serious tone. “Now that is not all. I have also been helping Auntie Nodoka with financing the repairs to her house. She had to miss a few insurance payments because it would appear that someone,” she glanced at the fathers, “had been making rather large bar tabs in her name.”

(Krack!) Ranma tensed his knuckles as he regarded his father.

“FORTUNATELY,” Nabiki added, “nobody came forward to reclaim their ‘wedding gifts.’ There is almost enough to cover the balance of the repairs to Auntie’s house.”

She turned to Akane before she could protest. “You have to admit, Akane. The damage that you, Shampoo, Ukyo and Kodachi did to Auntie’s house was too much, even by your standards. And all over a ring that did not even exist!”

“But surely Kodachi’s responsible for some o’ that. Can’tya get her to pay-up?” Ranma asked.

Nabiki turned a smoky gaze in Ranma’s direction. “There are only two ways for YOU to get any of that kind of money from the Kunos, Ranma-baby. You can marry one of them…”

Not happening! Ranma, Akane, Shampoo, Ukyo, Soun, and Cologne thought.

Interesting, Genma and Mousse thought.

“Or you can sign these police complaints,” Nabiki continued as she waved some papers at Ranma, “and have Saotome Ranma and Tendo Ranko charge and sue Kuno Tatewaki and Kuno Kodachi respectively for damages incurred last week.”

Ranma reached for the papers.

“Of course,” Nabiki mused, “there is the matter of the filing fees, and the attorneys’ fees; that is IF you can find one willing to take on the Kuno. Oh, did I mention that the case would likely take at least two years to move through the courts?”

Ranma sighed as he dropped his hand. “So now what do we do?”

The evil grin (TM) made a reappearance. “I’m sooo glad you asked.”


“As you know, Father’s last students graduated a few months before Ranma and Uncle arrived. Since he stopped teaching we have been getting-by on our savings, father’s stipend from the ward council and the occasional dojo rental.”

“Ever since the Saotomes’ arrival, we have had a significant increase in our food,” Ranma blushed, “and repair bills,” he was joined by the other junior martial artists.

“Ranma, Akane and I have come to certain... arrangements,” she winced in memory, “regarding photos that I take and then sell at Furinkan. We share the proceeds to take the place of allowances that we are SUPPOSED to get from our parents.” Three icy glares were directed at the fathers.

I still think she’s cooking the books, Ranma fumed. There’s no way an agent gets fifty percent of the price of a picture.

“Husband,” Nodoka ground-out while grasping her katana’s hilt, “we will have to have another TALK about fiscal responsibility.”

Mommy! Genma whimpered.

Nabiki continued her spiel, “However, this has been insufficient. Recent expenses, namely damage to the neighborhood, have forced me to tap into our college funds. I’m afraid that even if I emptied those funds we wouldn’t have enough to meet those expenses, finish the repairs to Auntie’s house AND rebuild the dojo.”

“Are you sure there’s nothing else that we can do, Nabiki? Maybe take-out a loan or…”

“I’m sorry, but that’s not an option, Akane. While the interest rates are not too high, with Father’s stipend as our only regular income, we wouldn’t be able to pay off any loan or mortgage and still have enough for food, utilities, school, and taxes, not to mention emergencies, repairs and the new insurance rates.”

“Feh! Pops and I learned our Art on the road. We can do without the dojo or wait a while and rebuild it later…”

“Absolutely not!” roared Happosai as he entered the discussion for the first time. “The Musabetsu Kakuto Ryuu must grow. There are only four practitioners in this generation, two in Kanto and two in Kansai. The itinerant lifestyle may allow a martial artist to grow in the Art, but it will not let the Art itself grow among the martial artists. There must be a home for the itinerant artist to return to in order to share what he has learned with his fellow practitioners of the School. There must be a base where new students can come to learn the School. THERE- MUST- BE- A- DOJO!”

Nabiki hid a smirk as Happosai remembered one of his lines. “There is also a matter of time constraint, Ranma-baby. Since the dojo’s original construction, this area has been rezoned twice. If we do not rebuild the dojo within the next four months we will never get permission to rebuild it.”

“I-- I can help,” Ukyo offered. “I did a lot of the damage with my bombs; I should be allowed to make up the difference…”

Nabiki shook her head. “You WILL help, but not in the way you suggest. I have spoken with your landlord, and I know what sort of operating expenses the Ucchan’s has. You almost defaulted on your bank loan during that crepes incident. And your college fund is one thing that I will NOT have you touch.” One Kasumi on my conscience is more than enough!

“And, oh, Shampoo? I’ve already spoken with Cologne. She has agreed to make some financial reimbursement,” Mostly for all the new ‘doors’ you used to make. “But since your council has ordered that most of the money the Nekohanten makes go into buying technological gadgets and training manuals for your village, you will have to remunerate us in a manner similar to Kuonji-san.”

“What Sneaky-girl mean?”

“I mean that you will have to ‘help’ out in the same way that Ukyo will.”

“Oh, that OK then. Why you no say so before?


“So what is this ‘way’ that will help to rebuild the dojo then?”

Nabiki’s evil grin returned yet again. “You, Ranma; and you, Akane; in fact all of you,” she pointed to the remaining four junior martial artists, “are going to help Kasumi in her new job.”

“You have a new job, onee-chan?” “That’s wonderful! What is it Kasumi-chan? I hope you meet a nice manly young man soon.” Huh? Does that mean Akane’s gonna do the cooking?

Kasumi blushed at suddenly becoming the center of attention. “Oh, my! It’s nothing, really.”

“Don’t be so modest, sis,” Nabiki drawled. “She was just asked to be the seiyu for the lead in a new anime movie.”

“Really?!” Akane and Ukyo squealed in stereo.

“Yes, really,” Nabiki continued. “An old sempai of hers called while you were in China. Kimiko-san’s producing a new series of anime adaptations of classic American movies and remembered Kasumi. She said Kasumi sounded almost like Inoue Kikuko. You know, the seiyu in that ‘Ah! Megami-sama’ anime? Apparently there was a lot of interest in getting someone who sounded like the Belldandy character.”

“Ohmygosh! Ohmygosh! You’reright! Whydidn’tInoticeitbefore?” Konatsu joined in for a 2.1 channel system effect.

“Apparently, they were still looking for fresh voices to fill-out the rest of the cast. I called Kimiko-san two days ago. She agreed to give you an audition. That is, if you’re interested.”

“Areyoukidding? Ofcoursewe’reinterested!” Ranma, Shampoo and Mousse, finally realizing they were being asked to join the gods of anime, completed the 5.1 system.

“Actually, it’s a sure thing as onee-chan refuses to do this with anyone but you guys.” Nabiki nodded at Cologne, Happosai and Nodoka. “In fact there’s even enough roles for the three of you too. If this first movie goes well and you are signed-up for the rest, there should be enough money in this to fix Auntie’s house, rebuild the dojo, and put all of us through college, with nice little nest eggs for everyone besides.”

“Really? That’sgreat! Ourtroublesareover!” Dolby dts.

“What movie are they adapting into anime, Nabiki?” Soun asked. He was unsure of this sudden good fortune. “Maybe we’ve heard of it?” He was right to be.

Nabiki pulled out a script and studied it. “It’s called ‘The Devil in Miss Jones’,” she said casually as she handed the script over to Soun.

Genma grabbed the script and skimmed it. He seemed to freeze-up.

“Ah!” says Soun, slightly miffed at Genma’s antics. “The Jean Arthur and Charles Coburn movie. Your grandfather took me to see that back in…”

“No, no, no,” Nabiki drawled as Genma started to shake. “Not ‘The Devil and Miss Jones’. I said ‘The Devil IN Miss Jones’.”

“Eh?” Soun was distracted as a trembling Genma started to stutter.

“Th-- this-- this movie is-- is a-- a--“

“A poruno movie,” Kasumi stated calmly.


“NANI!!!” THX.

End Part I.


Author’s Note: This was the end of the chapter as originally posted. I will try to keep this format from now on - a two-part chapter with a scene-break in the middle.

Original Author’s Notes: Long setup for a crackfic. I know. But I wanted to keep everyone as in character as I can before the next chapter. I also wanted to make a logical premise for everyone to agree to go along with Nabiki’s plan.

As an additional disclaimer, I’d like to note that both ‘The Devil and Miss Jones’ and ‘The Devil in Miss Jones’ are actual movies that belong to their respective owners. I haven’t even watched either film, just read about them on wikipedia and IMDb. Inoue Kikuko, for those not in the know, is the very real and very talented seiyu who voiced both Tendo Kasumi and Belldandy among others. If all you’ve watched of either ‘Ranma Nibunnoichi’ or ‘Ah! Megami-sama’ was the English dubbed anime, then you’ve missed out on a great singing voice.

It goes without saying that neither she, either of the two above mentioned anime nor their manga belong to me. But, man... if only they did!


Summary: Kasumi has a new job. An old sempai has asked her to be the seiyu for the lead in an anime adaptation of a classic American movie. Nabiki has recruited Ranma, Akane, Ukyo, Konatsu, the Amazons, Nodoka and Happosai to help. The thing is… it’s an adaptation of a classic porn movie. That’s right. This story is based on the plot of an old porn movie.


Part II:

“I said, it is a poruno movie,” Kasumi said yet again.


Nabiki sipped her tea and waited for the inevitable reaction…

“I FORBID IT!” “SAOTOME! You enemy of…”

…then signaled her accomplices.

The two old ghou-- er, DISTINGUISHED senior martial artists blurred into action.

Zip! Bop! Clink!

And resumed their seats within seconds.


Genma was crouched halfway to his feet. An angry expression on his face. Soun was similarly posed with a half-formed Demon Head slowly dissipating above him. They remained immobile. The cantilevering looked very uncomfortable.

Mousse was on the floor, hog-tied and gagged with one of his chains.

Shampoo and Ukyo, hesitant to further estrange Ranma, had kept their calm. Instead they had goofy grins on their faces and were softly muttering, “I’m gonna be in a poruno movie with Airen/Ranchan!” over and over.

Said boy sat with a glazed expression. He was starting to rock back and forth and whisper, “I’m gonna be in a poruno movie with Kasumi? That can’t be right, can it? But she said it herself… twice! I’m gonna be in a poruno movie with Kasumi!” Cue nose bleed. “I’m gonna be in a poruno movie with Kasumi! ...with Shampoo! …and with Ucchan!” Increase flow rate. “I’m gonna be in a poruno movie with Kasumi, Shampoo and Ucchan! ...and Akane! Shit! I’m dead!” Close the valves. Increase rocking speed. “I’m dead!”


The Akane-DOS ver 4.0 was unfortunately based on the buggiest product Microsoft unleashed bar Windows 1.0. While she could comprehend Ranma volunteering to work in a poruno movie with Shampoo and Ukyo (it was the default setting after all); she couldn’t understand why she herself agreed to join them. Happosai has to be behind this, she fumed. He must have some deal with Nabiki. That’s why he didn’t molest Ranma-chan. Ranma’s also in on it. He’s almost as perverted as Happosai; he must get it from Auntie. But why is Cologne going along with this? Wait! Nabiki wouldn’t really do this to me, would she? I know Kasumi wouldn’t… She said it twice! But she couldn’t have. Sh-- She’s Kasumi!

At this point the stack overflowed with divide by zero errors generating countless general protection faults. Her eyes closed in a system reset as the sysadmins made a hurried OS upgrade before the next reboot. Unfortunately for Akane, they once again ignored Lindows and installed Windows Me.


Nabiki stepped back from Akane as she woke and gazed around the room with a glazed expression. She mouthed ‘Good work’ to Cologne and Happosai as she returned to her seat and accepted more tea from a confused Konatsu.

She raised an eyebrow at Cologne as Ranma’s rocking caused him to faceplant into his tea, repeatedly. Cologne leaned over and used her staff to poke him between the eyes. He looked up and shook off his fugue.

Nabiki then quietly asked Happosai, “Can they hear us?” as she gestured to the fathers.

“Yes,” he replied in a similar tone. “But they can neither move nor speak for the next few hours. But if you would like…”

“No, no. This would be fine.”

“What about them?” Cologne whispered with a look towards Shampoo and Ukyo.

“Leave them as they are,” Nabiki whispered back. “They’re nearly in the right frame of mind.”

“Urk!” Mousse gurgled into his gag.

“Ah! I almost forgot,” Nabiki mused. She then retrieved the script, turned to a particular scene, placed it before Mousse and straightened his glasses before returning to her seat.


Fornicate all dogs! This is more of that blasted Saotome’s fault. The mummy will do anything to get Ranma’s children by my beloved Shampoo. Once I get free of these chains I’ll… What’s this?

The Devil in Miss Jones - The Anime
Act 8, Scene 4


“Imma a chargin’ mah lazer!”


(Grabs Mousse by the neck and pulls his face between her legs.)
“Ohh, yes! Shoop da whoop!”


Mousse’s glasses fogged as his struggles ceased. I get to have sex with Shampoo? Yes! Yes! Yes! I get to have sex with Shampoo!


Nabiki smirked as she nodded to Kasumi. I knew that duck-dildo scene would come in handy.

Kasumi turned towards the fathers and frowned. “Father, Uncle Genma! Honestly! What kind of girl do you think I am? Nabiki said that I was asked to be the SEIYU. I’m NOT going to be a porn actress. This is an anime, A-NI-ME!”

“Whatever could you have been thinking?“ Nabiki asked them. “All a seiyu needs to do is grunt, moan and read a little dialogue in a recording studio.”

The fathers’ angry expressions were replaced with chagrin. This was Kasumi they were talking about. Kasumi! What could they have possibly been thinking?

What could I have been thinking? Akane asked herself. This is Kasumi! “Ano, onee-chan. Isn’t that still perverted? Isn’t there some other way? Couldn’t we just get a job doing some other work?” she pleaded with her elder sisters.

Kasumi smiled gently at her. “It’s just words, Akane-chan. And nobody we know need know what kind of work this is.”

Nabiki added, a touch of tenderness in her normally wry voice, “Besides, in this economy there is no other work available that would pay as much to somebody as inexperienced as ourselves. The restaurants already demand too much of their time,” she pointed to Ukyo, Konatsu and the Amazons. “We have no dojo to attract students. And let’s face it - Daddy is in no shape to teach, Ranma is too young to teach, and no dojo worth its scrolls will let Genma inside it.”

Ranma added uncertainly, “While I may be young I’m still pretty good. There must be somebody willing to learn…” He trailed off as Nabiki shook her head.

“That kind of demand is too small, Ranm-kun. It would be like getting Ryoga to pay you to teach him how to beat you.”

“Well then, there’s the pit fights. I could enter them and…”

“Not a good suggestion, Saotome. The yakuza have that too tightly cornered. If you were on the road it might work, but your association with us here is too well-known to the local gangs. They would just get back at us.”

“Feh! I could take care of them.”

“I know,” Nabiki directed a surprisingly gentle smile at him. “But they are too numerous and they would never forget. You couldn’t be everywhere to protect all of us all the time.”

“Mother?” he turned to Nodoka, “isn’t there anything else we could do? Mebbe sell the house or something?”

Nodoka was pulled out of the daydream she had about her manly son’s future film career. “What was the question, dear?” Her manic expression slowly turned thoughtful. “I’m afraid not,” she said with a small sigh. ”Not only is it my grandmother’s old house, but your little fight depressed property prices in the neighborhood.”

Ranma looked desperate, “Well if there really is no other way…” He cringed and looked to his left, “Akane?”

She looked once more to Kasumi.

“Imouto-chan, this is my first and probably my last chance to finally get a life outside of this house. The only way that I will do this is if it is with people that I love and trust. Please give me my chance.”

Akane turned to Ranma, nodded. Together they looked up and said “I agree.”

Kasumi and Nabiki looked at each other and nodded as well. Hook, they thought.

End Chapter 1.


Author’s Notes: I think that I have patched any loopholes in Nabiki’s plans… rather in Nabiki and Kasumi’s plans. What’s going on? What could the elder Tendo sisters be up to? And why did they bring Happosai and Cologne into it? Why did they not want to disillusion Shampoo and Ukyo? That’s for the next chapters.


Deleted Scene Omake 1:

Later that night, the fathers adjourned to the shogi board.

“Saotome-kun, you couldn’t seriously agree to let your wife and son work in a poruno movie.”

“It was out of my hands, Tendo. Nodoka’s obsession for manliness is dangerous once it is unleashed. When she got over the fact that she could have no more children, she invested all her hopes in Ranma. To her, this is the penultimate proof of his manliness.”

“Let me rephrase that Saotome… You couldn’t seriously agree to let your wife, your son and MY daughters work in a poruno movie.”

“It’s not as bad as that, Tendo. You heard Kasumi and Nabiki yourself. All they have to do is speak and moan into some microphones.”

“That’s not what the Kuonji and Amazon girls think!”

“I’m sure that Nabiki will set them straight. You worry too much, Tendo.”

“How can you be so calm about this, Saotome?”

“I had a little talk with Nabiki just before dinner. She mentioned that Kasumi’s friend was the most successful producer at Milky Animation Label.”


Genma filled two cups with sake. “They made the ‘Bible Black’ series.”

“Saotome! We’re going to be rich!”

Genma raised a cup. “Kampai, Tendo.”


Just-for-the-fun-of-it Omake:

“It was out of my hands, Tendo. Nodoka’s obsession for manliness is insatiable! I had hoped that ten years would be enough for her to mellow out.” He shuddered.

Soun raised an eyebrow, “You mean…”

“She’s screwing me into an early grave, Tendo! I only hope that some professionals can tag-team her into satisfaction before I succumb. Why else would I leave a cook like her for ten years?!”

Off-screen: “Come along home, husband. We need to practice my lines.”

“Hide me, Tendo. For old times’ sake, HIDE ME!”


Just-to-thank-Lord-Raa-for-all-the-work-that-inspired-this-smu t Omake:

“Let me rephrase that Saotome… You couldn’t seriously agree to let your wife, your son and MY daughters work in a poruno movie WITH THE MASTER!”

“It’s not as bad as that, Tendo. He promised to teach Ranma an unbeatable technique.”

“Saotome! Remember the last time you tried to teach him such a technique! What if he…”

“This is nothing like that, Tendo! Nodoka knows of this technique and is eager for the boy to master it.”

“…Wha- What technique is that, Saotome?”

“I don’t know. The Master refuses to teach it to me. All I know is that it’s something French.” Though I can’t imagine what penguins have to do with it.


That’s it for now. Please review.