ROCK 'N ROLL 1/2 PART FIVE : LOVE IS A BATTLEFIELD A Lemon FanFic by The Leaping Gnome (A sparkling blend of citrus flavors...) DISCLAIMER: Ranma and the rest of the Nerima Wrecking Crew are copyright 1999 by Rumiko Takahashi, Shogankukan and Viz Inc. in North America (They ain't mine, I don't pretend they are, I could never hope to create such wonderful characters, etc.) and are used here without permission, so don't tell any lawyers, okay? This being a Lemon story, it contains tasty stuff that minors aren't allowed to see. If you're a minor, or are offended by lemons stop reading now. You have been warned. Incidentally, if you're one of those people who object to lemons on principle, loosen up. The filthiness of my prose is considerably less graphic than what you can find in the average Danielle Steele or Anne Rice novel, so give me a chance, huh? I promise to entertain as well as (hopefully)arouse... CULTURAL NOTE: White Day is a uniquely japanese holiday celebrated one month to the day after Valentines Day. On Valentines Day in Japan, girls give their sweeties cards, gifts, chocolates (and nookie if they've been good.) On White Day, the boys return the favor. I have been informed by a creditable source whom I have no reason to doubt (see the afterword for his props) that the reason it's called White Day is because on Valentines Day girls traditionally give DARK chocolate, whereas on White Day boys generally send WHITE chocolate. Hence the name. Who said that smut couldn't be educational? STYLE NOTE: Words framed by square brackets [example] are unspoken thoughts. Words framed by asterisks *example* are emphasized for effect. Words in triangular brackets are Panda-signs. PREVIOUSLY: White Day dawns on the morrow, and it's been a turbulent three days for Ranma and company as romantic upheavals are in the air. Ranma and Akane have declared their true feelings for each other, then broke up, then made up, then made OUT... It appears that Ryoga and Kodachi have found solace in each other's arms, Shampoo is gone for good, Nabiki is bisexual, and Ukyo almost boinked Ranma-chan before thinking better of it. (If it all sounds too confusing for you, go back and re-read parts one through four. They're still yummy the second time around...) Meanwhile, three mysterious figures have kidnapped Ryoga with intent to kill him, citing a grudge that rings awfully familiar in Ryoga's ears. Kodachi has enlisted the help of Ranma and Akane in finding her Lost Boy, but things look grim... AND NOW, ON WITH THE SHOW..... "RYO-GA!!! RY-OOO-GA! WHERE *ARE* YOU, MAN?" Ranma called, his hands cupped around his mouth. "Aw, man! We've been looking for hours, now! This is never gonna work, Kodachi, either he's unconscious or he's too far away... are you *sure* he didn't just wander off?" "No! Ranma-sama, you must find my Ryo-chan! Those horrible villains said that they planned to kill him!" "Did they mention why, Kodachi?" Akane interjected. "They did not feel the need to explain themselves to me while they pummeled me insensible, Akane Tendo!" "Honestly, Kodachi! There's no need to get snippy about it! Ryoga's my friend too, y'know..." "NO!" Kodachi charged Akane, straight-arming Ranma and sending him sprawling. Entangling her in a ribbon, she grabbed Akane by the shirtfront and hissed into her face. "Akane Tendo, mark my words well... Ryo-chan is *nothing* to you, do you hear? Nothing! I have lost one love to you, I do *not* intend to lose another, understand...?! You stay away from him, or I will *kill* you!!!!!" Ranma scrambled to his feet, rushing over to where the two girls stood. "Kodachi! Let her go!" He grabbed at the gymnast's shoulder, but she shook his hand off. "Not until she swears that she won't come between me and my Darling! Not this time, not ever again!" "Dammit, Kodachi! Let her-" "I swear!!" Akane's declaration startled both Ranma and Kodachi. They turned to look at her, eyes wide. "Akane..." Ranma moved forward, ready to attack. "No, Ranma! It's all right, she's just upset...Kodachi... I promise not to interfere in whatever happens between you and Ryoga... but not because you're threatening me, okay? He's a good friend, that's all. I love Ranma..." Despite his fears for her safety, Ranma's heart swelled. She loves me! Woo-hoo! "Hmmph. That will have to do, for now..." She released Akane from the ribbon. "See that you stop sleeping with him in his pig- form as well, Tendo." "P-pig... form..?" Akane looked shocked. "Kodachi! Don't-" "Do be quiet, Ranma. This is a matter between women..." "Ryoga is... P-Chan?" Akane's eyes were wide and staring. "N-no, he's not, Akane! Heh heh heh...That's ridiculous! She's just trying to tick you off, that's all..." Ranma improvised furiously. [If Akane figures out that I knew she'll mallet me into a fine red paste!] "Of course he is, foolish girl. I'm surprised you never figured it out! It took *me* all of five minutes...Don't tell me *you* didn't know, either, Ranma." "Uh..." [Think fast Saotome!] "Gee! He sure pulled the wool over *my* eyes! Gosh!" Akane was still dazed. "All those nights... I was sleeping with... Ryoga?" Akane turned bright red. Then maroon. Then a very pretty shade of black cherry. FOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!! Akane's battle aura manifested, blowing Kodachi and Ranma off their feet. "I'LL KILL HIM! I'LL KICK HIM INTO ORBIT! I'LL MALLET HIM INTO MULCH! I'LL... I'LL OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHH!!" Akane stomped of towards the dojo, leaving crater-like footprints behind her. "Well, she's useless until she calms down... Man, i'm sure glad she's mad at someone else for change..." Ranma rubbed the back of his head apologetically." "RAN-MAAAA!! GET OVER HERE!!!" "Eeeps! Kodachi, I'm sorry- Ryoga's a pretty tough guy, I'm sure he'll make out all right. If he hasn't turned up by tomorrow night, let me know, okay? He's gotten pretty good about calling if he's lost... Not that he could follow any directions you could give him, but at least you'll know if he's all right.." "B-but, Ranma-sama! The kidnappers!" "I don't envy anyone who'd try to take him hostage, Kodachi. He's pretty dangerous when he's upset..." "B-but..." "RAN-MAA! NOW!!!" "Gotta go! 'Bye..." He took off running after the fuming Akane, leaving a stunned Kodachi in his wake. "I.. I can't... *believe* I ever found that cretin desirable! OOOoooh!" * * * Ukyo Kuonji was depressed. Not just unhappy, but deeply, soul-searingly depressed. She'd lost Ranchan for ever, leaving her with... what? A crappy little Okonomiyaki restaurant with a transvestite head waiter... Ranchan was the only thing that had kept her going... first, because she wanted revenge for being left behind, then... because she still held out hope that she and Ranma might someday be married. [Well, that's all gone now. He's in love with Akane...] She reached in to the liquor cabinet and pulled out a 40-pounder bottle of Sake and a cup. [What the hell! May as well get drunk, like that'll help.] She put on a CD and lay back on the futon, losing herself in the sad melodies of Billie Holiday. By the time the disc ended, she was feeling no pain. She sat up with extreme difficulty and tried to unfold the futon, but her limbs betrayed her. Giving up, she slumped face forward onto the mattress. "Oh, Ranchan... I can still *smell* your hair on this thing..." Her eyes threatened another crying jag. The back doorbell rang. "Huh? Who'd be buggin' me now? I swear... if it's Tsubasa or Konatsu, i'll spatula 'em into next week..." She grabbed her baker's peel off the wall and stumbled dowwn the stairs to the back door. She swung it open, battle spatula at the ready to crush any cross-dressers she might encounter... "Nabiki Tendo?!! What the hell'r you doin' here?!!" "I brought a bottle, Kuonji. Wanna split it?" "Huh? Wha?" "I thought you'd be feeling a little down, so..." "I can't figure you out, Tendo... This afternoon you were ready to fight me, and now you feel like consoling me? What's your angle?" She lowered the spatula warily. "I.. well, look. Let me up, and i'll fill you in, alright? It's cold out here..." Ukyo stepped aside, waving Nabiki in. "Be my guest..." The two went upstairs, Ukyo bringing up the rear. She grabbed Nabiki a glass from the kitchen, switched the CD to an upbeat J-pop album, and joined Nabiki on the futon. Nabiki refilled Ukyo's glass and topped up her own. "Kampai, Kuonji." "Kampai, Tendo." They each took long pulls on their drinks. "So, uh... Not that I mind the company, but... Why the heck are you here?" Nabiki smiled a little sadly. "I figured... I was a little hard on you today, that's all. I came to apologize... and to say thank you..." "Thanks for what, might I ask?" "For doing the right thing by Ranma. I realize that must have been pretty painful..." "You have no idea..." "I think I might. Remember a few months back, when the engagement to Ranma was switched to me?" "Yeah... You rented him out to me for 1000 yen an hour." "Well, I've been doing a lot of thinking lately. It occurs to me that toying with Ranma and Akane's affections for the sake of making a few yen was a little mean-spirited. I thought my reasons were justifiable at the time, but in hindsight, it wasn't a whole lot different from what you did... Except your motives were at least based in love..." "Yeah, well... I know it was wrong. But... I can't help it, y'know? I'm in love with the jackass..." "So was I, a little bit..." Ukyo sat up. "Huh? What?" "It's just... He's just so goddamned *decent*, y'know? Even when I was messing with his head, he was so *nice* to me... Do you know, the only reason he didn't tell me right off the bat that he wasn't interested was that *he didn't want to hurt my feelings*?! I couldn't believe it! That's when I knew I had to break it off. I mean, could you imagine it? Nabiki Tendo, with a nice guy? Like I'd really deserve one, anyway." "What are you talking about, Tendo? Everybody, even *you* deserves to have someone nice to love. I don't know much about relationships, but I know *that*!" "A selfish bitch like me? No, I'm afraid it's not in the cards... I made that decision a while back. Love ain't for me. Money's my only honey..." "Why are you telling me this?" "'Cause I thought you'd understand. You're like me." "How so?" "Rejected by your One True Love..." "Ranma was your one true love? Come on..." "No, not Ranma... Someone else. It's not important who it was, just that they thought I wasn't worth loving... we were 'just friends'..." "Gods... I can't think of any two more painful words in any language..." "Exactly..." They sat for a while quietly, working on their drinks. "Tendo?" "Yeah? And call me Nabiki." "Sure, Nabiki... Did you ever, I mean, while you were engaged... get anywhere with Ranchan?" "I kissed *him* once, but he almost fainted." "Heh. Heheheh..." "What's so funny?" "Well, *I* got a little more than a kiss..." "Are you sure you want to be telling me this?" "Why not? I'm too drunk to care if you slap me again... It was earlier today. I caught up with him here after the big blowup at the clock tower. He made a move on me, and I almost let him do it, too. He was all sad and vulnerable, I could've had him like *that*!" She snapped her fingers. "But, silly me, I sent him back to Akane... I know I'm gonna be bothered by *that* for a while... Mind you, I sent him, er.. her... home with the biggest case of the hornies she's ever had. That'll learn 'im..." Nabiki looked surprised, then amused. It was nice to kick back, loosen up with someone other than her kid sister for a change. "He *is* fun to tease, isn't he? Did you ever pinch his butt while he was trying to talk to Akane? I did that once. He jumped about a foot in the air, and fed Akane some line about a horsefly... Oh, it was priceless..." The two girls laughed together for a bit, then settled down for some serious drinking. They ended up on the floor, staring at the ceiling. "Hey, Beeks?" "[Beeks?! Oh, gods no...] What is it, Uki?" "[Uki? Gaah.] What was I sayin'?" "No idea. This is good Sake, but it ain't *that* good." "Oh yeah! I was gonna ask... " She looked Nabiki in the eye a little unsteadily. The older girl returned her gaze intently, with a heat that surprised them both. She'd never noticed, but Nabiki *was* kinda cute, [for a girl and all.] "Err.. I, uh... Do you think that there are other guys out there like Ranma?" "I think that'd be a little unlikely, wouldn't you say?" "No, I mean... nice, decent guys." "Not at Furinkan, that's for sure... But yeah, probably, somewhere... Ahh, who needs 'em, anyway? Men are silly, easily manipulated infants. They're not worth the hassle. Trust ol' Beeks, a girl's better off without 'em." "What about this one true love business?" "Who's to say your one true love has to be a guy? Mine wasn't." "... " "Aw, c'mon. Don't look at me like that! I seem to recall Ranma was a girl when she came home tonight... Unless that old lady soaked him again, that means that you two.." "Well, yeah... But that's different. That was still Ranchan..." "Pssh! A girl is a girl is a girl, Uki. Why didn't you just douse her in hot water then, hmm?" Nabiki's eyes were like high powered searchlights, paralysing Ukyo in their beams. She couldn't think straight; the Sake and her sadness at war with the strange feeling the older girl was causing. She hadn't mentioned it, but Ranchan wasn't the only one who'd finished their encounter with a case of the hornies... "Uhmm..." "Heh. Thought so. Classic closet case." "Hey!" "No need to get all offended, Uki-baby. Personally, i'm of the opinion that whatever any two or more people want to do in bed, so long as it doesn't involve former food, former people or little kids is nobody's business but their own. Hell, I'd've done it. She's cute. So are you." [You think i'm cute?] "Uhh, well, still, Nabiki..." "Hey! What happened to Beeks...? Anyway, you're one to talk about gender roles. The boy you love turns into a girl, you dress up as a boy, and your head waiter's a transvestite. Don't tell me you've never considered it..." Nabiki drew herself up on her elbows and looked down at Ukyo. "C'mon, Uki-baby... All those years in disguise at an all- boys school, listening to your friends talk about what they'd been up to with their sweeties? Didn't you ever want to know what all the fuss was about? I could show you..." "I.. No, I... c'mon Nabiki, this isn't funny..." "So who's joking? Anyway, I thought I said you could call me Beeks..." Nabiki reached over, gently brushing Ukyo's bangs away from her eyes. She looked into Ukyo's wide eyes. "Do you want me to show you?" Nabiki repeated. Ukyo closed her eyes, her breathing growing ragged. Nabiki smiled, and leaned over, brushing the younger girl's lips gently with her own. Ukyo shuddered, drawing in a hissing breath. "It's okay, Uki-Baby... I'll stop if you want me to..." "N-no... It's okay, I guess..." "Mmmm. *That's* a rousing endorsement... Just remember, I'll stop whenever you want me to, okay?" "Okay...Beeks..." Ukyo smiled softly. The older girl smiled back before kissing her again, still gently but with a little more heat than before. Breaking the kiss, Nabiki sat up, taking Ukyo's hand. "C'mon, Uki-baby. Let's get off the floor, okay?" She led her over to the futon, drawing Ukyo's head into her lap. Smiling, she ran her fingers gently through the younger girl's chestnut hair, allowing her to get used to the unfamiliar feel of another girls' hands touching her intimately. "Your hair is so nice... How long have you been growing it?" "Hmm? Oh, about four years... I like yours, too..." "Tsk. Flatterer... Dishwater brown can't compare to your gorgeous color... I wish I had the patience to grow mine out..." "Why? I like your haircut... It frames your face so nicely... You're so pretty..." "Pretty? Moi? Uki-baby, are you trying to seduce me?" "Hmmm. I thought that was the other way 'round... Besides, you shouldn't get so down on yourself. You're a beautiful woman, Beeks... Remember Toma's island? You looked great in that little black number..." Nabiki smiled at the memory. "Yeah... I guess I clean up all right... It's just kinda hard to keep up any kind of healthy self-image in the Tendo house, living under the same roof as Akane and Ran-chan..." "Can we not talk about them? Please...?" "Oh, Uki-baby... sure, honey, i'm sorry..." She kissed away the tears rising in Ukyo's eyes. "Beeks? Why are we doing this? I mean... it's not as if we've got a lot in common..." "Are you kidding? We've lots in common..." Ukyo sat up, a wry smile on her face. "Like?" "Well, aside from our connection to R-, uhh, They Whose Names Shall Not Be Spoken, we've both got excellent business sense, stunning figures," Ukyo stifled a giggle. "And an unfortunately strong tolerance for Sake... I'm nowhere *near* drunk enough to be having this conversation... Can't two people just be attracted to each other? Does it have to make sense? I'm mean, it's not as if we're protagonists in some manga or TV show, Uki- baby! Life isn't scripted. Or if it is, the writer's a hack..." Ukyo took a long look into Nabiki's eyes. She *was* attracted to her, very much so, but... did she want to do this? It would change *everything*... But then again, didn't change seem to be today's continuing theme? It would be so nice to have someone for herself, that she didn't have to share with half of Nerima. Could Nabiki... Beeks... Be that person? Did she even *want* to be? "Five yen for your thoughts, Uki-baby?" "It's just... I don't want some kind of one-night thing... Ranchan offered me that earlier today and I turned him down. I want someone who'll be there in the morning. I'm very, *very* attracted to you, Beeks. But I can't do this if it doesn't mean anything to you. Because it would mean something to *me*..." "Wow... I admit I wasn't expecting *this* when I left the house tonight... Can we just *try* it for awhile? I've never... had much luck with serious relationships, Uki-baby. I can't promise that this is forever..." Nabiki remembered Mariko, who'd said much the same thing to her years ago. Maybe... maybe she could try it again. Maybe she was ready to dare what Mariko wouldn't... "But I can promise that i'll be here in the morning, and every morning... so long as we both want to stay together... Is that enough for now?" Ukyo hugged her close, sniffling. "Yes..." They held each other tightly, holding on to a new hope, a new reason to go on. "Uki-baby?" "Mmm-hmm?" "Are you all done crying? 'Cause if you are I'd really like to kiss you now..." "Nope.." "Well, tough, 'cause i'm gonna kiss you anyway..." "Oh. All right, then." They shared a tender, tentative kiss, their mouths opening to one another, tasting the hot tang of the Sake on each other's breath. "MMmm. That was nice..." Ukyo said, resting her head on Nabiki's shoulder. "Yeah... It gets better, too. Here, let me give you a hand with that..." Nabiki reached over, pulled off Ukyo's t-shirt and helped her unwind the elastic bandage that bound her breasts flat to her chest. "Ouch... That *can't* be comfortable... Why don't you just wear a bra?" "Used to it, I guess. I- Hey!" She giggled. "That tickles, you-OOoooh..." Her giggle became a moan as Nabiki's hands slid around to her front. "How about this? This tickle too?" Nabiki's touch grew a little more insistent. Ukyo gasped at the sensation as the sensitive undercurves of her breast were gently stroked by Nabiki's soft fingers. "Beeks..." The word was a sigh leaving Ukyo's lips. "Mmm-hmm?" She nuzzled Ukyo's ear softly, giving the the lobe a quick swipe with her tongue. "Could you... take off your top?" "Mmmm... Why don't you do it for me, Uki-baby? I'm a little busy here..." She nipped the taut skin of Ukyo's neck, kissed her way along her jawline before kissing her lips, her tongue sliding into Ukyo's mouth. The kiss deepened as Ukyo moaned into her lover's lips. Lost in the kiss, Ukyo's hands reached around and pulled Nabiki's top out of the waistband of her tight jeans. She ran her fingertips along the smooth skin of Nabiki's back, feeling her warmth. They slid upward to her strap of her bra, her hands fumbling with the unfamiliar catch. "Uh-oh.. I guess i'll have to help you out after all..." Nabiki smiled, breaking off the kiss. Deftly, she reached around behind herself and popped open the hook, pulling bra and T-shirt off over her head. She arched her back in a catlike stretch, enjoying the heat of Ukyo's gaze on her uncovered breasts. "It's okay, Uki-baby... You can touch 'em if you want to..." Ukyo reached up tentatively, gently cupping Nabiki's firm breasts. "Like this?" "Hey, they're not made of glass, Uki-baby... You can play a little rougher if you want..." "I just... don't want to hurt you, that's all..." "It's *okay*... i'm tough-stuff, cutie. I can take it..." They embraced again, their hands sliding over each others bare skin, Nabiki's tapered fingernails scratching lightly along finely-defined muscles of Ukyo's back. "You're so strong..." "You're so soft... I love the way your skin feels..." Ukyo replied between kisses. "I want so see, to touch more of you... Beeks..." Moaning into Ukyo's mouth, Nabiki shimmied out of her jeans and panties, while Ukyo slid off her black leggings. Soon, the two were naked, their limbs entwining like soft branches. Nabiki slid a hand down Ukyo's smooth back, then around between them to the junction of her muscled legs, smiling as Ukyo sipped air between her clenched teeth. "T-that's... OooOh.. Hmmm, nice, Beeks... Can I... do something for you?" "That's okay, sweetie... let me take care of you first, hmm?" She kissed her way down Ukyo's neck to her collar-bone before moving lower, laving her nipple gently with her tongue. All the while, her hand softly stroked Ukyo's lower lips, brushing the sensitive peak of her clitoris on each upstroke. When she felt that Ukyo was ready, she slid one tapered finger between her lips and into her warm dampness, enjoying Ukyo's moans of pleasure and whispered endearments. She paused in her work for a moment, lifting her head from Ukyo's flushed breasts. "Mmmm... If you like that, wait'll you try *this*...." She returned to Ukyo's tingling nipples for a moment, before using her tongue to trace her way down along Ukyo's sternum to her abdomen, licking once at her navel before her mouth joined her hand between Ukyo's strong thighs. Gently extracting her finger, she licked it clean of Ukyo's juices before plunging her face into the source of the nectar, running her tongue between the fleshy folds. Ukyo's thighs clenched around her head for a moment before relaxing, her body giving in to the waves of sensation coursing through her. "OooH, Beeks... What are you *doing* to me... It feels so good..." Ukyo's hands slid down to run through Nabiki's short fine hair, pressing her face more firmly between her thighs. Nabiki's talented tongue swirled slowly over the bud of her clitoris, making her body jump and twitch as the pleasure shocked through her. She felt herself rise higher and higher on a spiralling path of joy. Sensing her lover's approaching climax by the rising pitch of her moans, Nabiki maintained her tempo, while simultaneously inserting one dextrous finger into Ukyo, pushing her over the edge of the precipice. Ukyo's orgasm crashed over her like a wave, her mind flying in a thousand different directions as she screamed her release... When the tremors had at last subsided, she pulled Nabiki up to her, kissing her deeply and snuggling close. "T-That was... wonderful, Beeks!" She kissed her smiling mouth. "Can I do something for you, now? I'd like to..." "Sure, Uki-baby... just gimme a minute, hmm? My ears are ringing..." "*Your* ears are ringing? I'm the one who just had the screaming orgasm..." Ukyo answered, teasingly. "Yeah, but *i'm* the one who almost had her head caved in by 'Ukyo's Thighs of Death' during the aforementioned screaming orgasm..." "Oh, no! I'm sorry, Beeks! Are you all right?" "Heh. Yeah, i'm fine. Guess I'm not *quite* as tough as I thought, that's all. Now c'mere and kiss it better, huh?" "Aww... Where does it hurt?" Ukyo smiled. "Here..." Ukyo gave her a kiss. "And here..." She kissed her there, too. "Here, too..." Another kiss. "And there..." Hey-yy.... "How did you get hurt down there?" "Just shush and kiss it better, 'kay?" Nabiki said smilingly, giving Ukyo a gentle punch in the shoulder. "'Kay...." * * * "Akane... Hey, Akane... Wait up!!" Ranma jogged up behind his furious fiancee. "Not now, Ranma! I need to go find something to destroy..." "*Trust* me, Akane... That doesn't work very well. You'll only get madder..." "How would *you* feel if someone you trusted was taking advantage of *you* like that! I can't believe you're defending him!" "Uh, well, look, Akane.. it's okay to be mad at him, but Kodachi's really worried. Shouldn't we stay and help her look?" Akane sighed, and leaned against the fence. "Look Ranma. If you want to go look for him, be my guest. I don't feel very charitable towards *either* of them right now..." "Well... Ryoga is kinda my friend... sort of. But i'd rather spend time with you..." He smiled at her hopefully. "Sigh... Oh Ranma..." She squeezed his hand. "I'm afraid i'm not exactly good company right now..." "I know what'll cheer you up! 'C'mere!" He pulled her to her feet. "Ranma! What-" "'C'mon! You can smack *me* around for a bit! It always seems to cheer you up! C'mon macho chick, show me what you've got!" He gave her a playful shove, springing back into a defensive position. "Tsk.Ran-ma.." She smiled grudgingly. "That's doesn't make me feel better. It just makes me feel worse 'cause I had to hit you.." "Well, then... We could always... 'spar'... in the dojo again..." "Why? It's not as if I ever win- Oh! You mean 'spar'..." She smiled shyly. "Tsk. You hentai... is that all you ever think about?" She whacked him playfully in the chest. "You're insatiable!" Her eyes sparked as she remembered the evening's activities. "Hmmm... Maybe a little 'sparring' might be in order... but only a little... You're still in guy-form, after all... and I don't think they're any drugstores open this late..." They strolled hand in hand back towards the dojo. "Kasumi's got some rubbers..." "Kasumi?! You're kidding!" "Nope. Guess she's just safety conscious." "And *how* may I ask, did you happen to come across *this* particular little bit of information?" "It's amazing what Happosai gets up to... And who do you think always has to take his little toys away from him?" "Oh... Well, I suppose we could ask her when we get home... By the way, speaking of getting up to things... You were awfully, er, skilled... earlier tonight. I... Had you ever... been with someone before tonight? I promise I won't get mad if you have..." "What? No! It's... well, you're gonna call me a pervert." "Ranma... I promise I won't call you a pervert ever again, okay? That is... so long as you only practice your perversions with me..." She said with a seductive smile and a waggle of her eyebrows. "I.. er.. I..." [He's so cute when he blushes like that!] Akane thought, stifling a giggle. "I'm waiting, Ranma... Where did you learn how to do that stuff?" "Well, if you really wanna know... Hiroshi's got a couple of Ecchi videos... And you know me, I've only gotta see a technique once to duplicate it..." He blushed, looking away. Akane laughed. "Everything's Martial Arts to you, isn't it? Too bad you're not as good a lover as you are a fighter..." She smiled slyly at him. "You need training..." "Huh? Well, how much practice do you think we're gonna need, Akane?" He riposted. "Oh, oodles and oodles..." "Hai sensei..." * * * Not so very far away, Ryoga Hibiki woke up. In a dark room. With a bump on his head. Again... "Aww, no... Not again... Now where am I?" Three men stepped out of the shadows. "Ohh, dude... You're the *last* place you wanna be..." "Hey! I know you guys! Why the heck do you keep clobbering me? What'd I ever do to you?" "Don't even *pretend* you don't know what's goin' on, man. You ruined our lives!" [Now why does that sound *so* familiar?] Ryoga thought. "Oh, c'mon! So we ended up in China, big deal, I... Oh, no... you didn't..." The three men nodded. Ryoga blanched. "An' now, Ryoga-buddy, we're gonna make you pay for what you did to us..." * * * Ranma and Akane had just finished 'sparring' and were snuggled quietly in each other's arms. "Akane?" "Mmmm?" "How do you like my new secret technique?" She swatted him halfheartedly. "Baka..." She kissed him. "Kawaiikune..." He kissed her back. They were well on their way to another 'sparring' session when Ryoga crashed through the ceiling, landing on his head. He balanced there for a moment before toppling over. His clothing was in tatters, and it looked like someone had been using his face for a speed-bag. "Ryoga?!" Akane and Ranma said simultaneously, scrabbling for their clothes. Her anger at him forgotten for the moment, Akane ran over to her beaten friend's side, Ranma close at her heels. "Are you all right? What happened?" "Uhhgh... Kodachi?" "No, it's me, Akane... What happened?!" "S-some old friends dropped by to s-say hello..." "Who?" Ranma asked, worried at his rival's battered state. Whoever did this to Ryoga must've been tough... Brrrrr.... "Nevada Ticket..." "The band?!!!" "S-said they'd finish the job... tomorrow.. at the dance..." He passed out. Ranma and Akane shared a stunned look. "Why does a rock band have a grudge against Ryoga?" Akane asked. "Beats me... We'd better call Kodachi and get pig-boy here to a doctor... Do you *still* want to go to the White Day dance?" Akane's eyes grew cold. Someone tried to kill one of her best friends? Someone tried to kill her P-chan?! Her voice was as icy and as raw as winter wind. "Count on it..." END OF PART FIVE ************************************************************** Thus ends part five... part six, Combat Rock, should be forthcoming within two weeks maximum. SHOUT-OUTS: A big honkin' thank-you to Brian Manherz for solving the great White Day mystery. Ya learn something new every day... Thanks again to Matt+Marsha for pre-reads and language lessons, and, as always, to Neko-chan, 'cause she's ma baybeh.... Send all cheers 'n jeers to: leapinggnome@hotmail.com I promise to write ya back! 99/10/15