Revelations, Part Two: "The Song of the Arrow"

Chapter Ten

The group of students left after lunch was a much smaller one. Mostly higher belts, but several lower ones stayed to watch. Ranma looked around and recognized a certain gleam in all the eyes of the ones remaining. They all want to learn. They want to learn, for the learning's sake. Ranma blinked as he thought, maybe... maybe I underestimate those below me. They do have to start somewhere. And... I'm not yet all I can be, either. I'm still learning and growing. Like them. It was an intriguing thought. I was harassing Ryoga about his training... but I also... Ranma grimaced, what I need is to learn some humility. Ranma watched as Ryoga and the sensei consulted on some point of teaching. Watched, and learned. Even teaching requires strategy. Know what they can learn and know how to teach. It opened up some new dimensions for Ranma – he hated to teach, normally. But thinking of it as a strategy game...

When they started, Ranma and Ryoga spent several minutes gently sparring, in their normal warmup while the other students stretched out. Ranma glowed under the look of approval and admiration Ryoga was giving him. And Ranma noticed the improvement of Ryoga's attacks as Ranma gave the same sort of look to Ryoga. My partner...

The teaching stayed in the same room, with the groups alternating between attack moves and defense moves. Ranma noticed that most of the moves Ryoga was teaching now were more generic ones – nothing like that fall that he'd taught... that fall... Ranma blinked... "YOU BASTARD!" Ranma launched himself at Ryoga, fury in his eyes. Ryoga turned and met Ranma's attack with a block, a questioning look in his eyes. Ranma bounced back and attacked again, "You taught Kuno that move, didn't you!???!!"

"Ah," Ryoga's brown eyes started to flame in his own anger as he realized what the attack was for. Ranma's next blow sent him reeling across the mat, and he straightened up, wiping blood from his lip, "Baka..." he remarked rather mildly before joining Ranma in true battle.

The students hastily ran off the mat and cowered behind the dividing wall. The sensei raised an eyebrow, "I guess that really was slow, for them." He looked thoughtfully at the holes that were appearing in his dojo's walls and didn't say anything else.

As Ryoga landed in their midst, the students scattered. His aura a dark flame around him, Ryoga stood up and reached a hand up to his forehead to his bandanna...

"Ahh..." At the sight of the students running for places to hide while watching the fight, Ranma suddenly remembered, "Let's take this outside!"

With a blink, Ryoga came back to himself and glanced around. With a tightening of his mouth, he shook his head, "Let's not take it anywhere!" Spinning abruptly around, Ryoga started to stomp out of the dojo.

"Ryoga, wait!" Ranma yelled, now caught between his former anger and an unfamiliar sense of guilt. Ryoga... that was the Ryoga I've been fighting for the last year; not the Ryoga I was loving last night. I drove him into the anger... But how?

"Later, Ranma-kun," Ryoga's voice sounded weary, repressed anger still hovering under the taut control, "We'll talk about it later." He didn't turn around as he left.

But... As Ranma's eyes followed his friend's figure out the door, he was distracted by the sight of a young face watching his friend in worship and admiration... and then turning to Ranma himself with a look of hate. Victims know bullies, the thought came unbidden and a knot twisted in Ranma's stomach. I need him back for what I am not... But Ryoga wouldn't come now to his need alone, it wasn't enough. Ranma knew that and desperately searched for something else... He looked into the young student's eyes as he verbally reached to his friend with the one thing that might bring him back, "Is it something the students should learn also?"

The doorway was empty for a long moment, then Ryoga came back in, his brown eyes now showing more puzzlement than anything else.

Ranma tilted his head to one side and waited.

Did he actually figure it out for himself? Ryoga watched Ranma curiously, studying the perfect face with the black hair and rich blue eyes... I love him. I love him so much. There was still anger, but Ryoga reached out for the support of the trees to help him stay calm. Bending in the wind, down and up again while standing firm. Ryoga quirked his mouth at his thoughts – Ranma wasn't just a wind, he was a gale. And then Ryoga felt the force of winds and rain driven against his branches and trunk as the cold penetrated his roots. Turning slightly pale, Ryoga quickly hauled himself out of the tree. That was closer than he really wanted to be and he returned to his friend. As Ryoga studied Ranma's puzzled look he answered with the exasperation he felt, "Ranma, you were beating Kuno black and blue! Of course I taught him that technique. Otherwise he'd be in the hospital by now."

"But he wouldn't stop!" Ranma gulped. He'd never before thought of himself as a bully, "He challenged me every time! He wouldn't back out! I gave him every damn chance to..."

Ryoga sighed, "I know. And I don't honestly know what you could have done differently. Kuno's pride... He was the best before you came. And he is no coward. But... Ranma – I can take a knock-out and recover. Kuno can't. You don't use that much force with anybody else usually." If you were a bully, I would never have followed you. But I don't like it when you see only yourself. Too close to being the same... Ryoga frowned, struggling under the memories of being knocked away, brushed away without a thought, without notice. If I had died in that pool, you would never have known, would never have cried... Too close. Ryoga wrenched his thoughts away with another effort, seeking out the trees that made no judgment; and they wrapped him close in steady certitude of self.

Ranma blushed, "He made me mad." 'Tree-borne Kettle-girl, I love you.' Ranma shivered, remembering the nightmares and the humiliation.

"All I did was teach him something that would leave him his pride."

I win every fight with Kuno by knocking him out. Ranma rearranged his thoughts, Kuno calls the fight when I overwhelm him. The thought sat uncomfortably in his mind, a discordant note among the harmony of his ego. Ranma glanced around at the students who were watching him and Ryoga with much the same attitude as their Sensei — nonjudgemental learning. Most of them were weighing both sets of words equally, accepting that Ranma hadn't had a choice, and approving Ryoga's method of teaching. He didn't give Kuno a way to beat me, even though he was madder than hell at me – when the heck did he do this? – instead he showed Kuno a way to accept my superiority. Somehow that thought, though concordant with his ego, didn't fit well with Ranma's new thoughts. With a mental shrug, Ranma shoved it all to the side with one last question, how the heck did Kuno let Ryoga teach him anything? Kuno's pride... Ranma cleared his throat, "Well, good, then."

The dark look still hovering around Ryoga's face disappeared, leaving a bright happiness in its place. Ranma could almost hear the birds singing, and he smelled the special scent of their glade... Damn, what his approval can do to me! Clearing his throat again, Ranma looked at the sensei, "I think that pretty much finishes the day." All he wanted to do was take Ryoga back to the hotel as quickly as possible...

The sensei smiled, humor and affection combined, "I think it does." He bowed deeply, "It is an honor to have met both of you. Never have I seen such teaching and such learning. When we can all take correction as honestly as you, we will be closer to budo."

Ranma flushed, knowing full well that it was only because of Ryoga... Seeing the look of admiration and eagerness on the student's faces, he swallowed his protest and bowed back to the sensei. Humility would not help the students here.

A few more words and individual talk and a wince at the holes in the dojo, 'send the bills to the Tendo Dojo,' and then finally they were free. Watching the sunset with hues of orange and yellow and soft clouds hovering, Ranma and Ryoga walked together as they left.

"So beautiful," Ranma murmured as he looked at the colors in the sky, well aware of the presence beside him. The sunset is missing the most beautiful color of all, the rich brown with sparkles of life. That is the most beautiful sight I have ever seen.

Startled, Ryoga looked up at the sky, seeing it again. On my own, I rarely see this. I see a sunset every night, a sunrise every morning. But it is Ranma who has to point out the beauty in it to me. He watched the sunset fading and his heart twisted inside out for no reason. "'Darkness falls from the wings of night...'"

"Huh?" Ranma glanced to his friend and saw there in him a sadness that he couldn't understand. "Ryoga..." Ranma glanced around the street and then grabbed an arm and hauled Ryoga up to the top of a hill where they were out of the main view of the town, but could see everything around them easily. Once there, Ranma snuggled himself against the warm lean body of his love, "What's wrong, Ryoga? Are you still angry at me?"

"Angry at you?" Ryoga blinked rapidly as he looked down at the firm body pressed into his own. Absently, he placed an arm around Ranma, "No, I'm not angry at you." He glanced back out at the darkening sky and his mind couldn't stay with the person next to him, so caught in his feelings was he. He started the poem again, this time a bit louder so Ranma could hear, "'The day is done, and darkness falls from the wings of night, as a feather is wafted downward from an eagle in his flight.'"

This time, Ranma recognized the tone of voice and realized that it was a quote. Silently, he listened to the heartbeats in Ryoga's chest, and his breaths, and his beautiful rich voice.

Ryoga shifted his gaze from the sky to the town below them, "'I see the lights of the village gleam through the rain and the mist—'"

"Rain?!" Ranma squeaked, glancing wildly around. He reached to grab the umbrella off Ryoga's back.

"Great Buddha in heaven!" Ryoga knocked Ranma's hands to one side, "It's a poem for pity's sake!! Just a poem! Damnit, Ranma..."

Intensely chagrined, Ranma retreated a couple of steps, "Uh, I was thinking of something else, and then you said 'rain' and, well, I just..." he trailed off at the look in Ryoga's eyes.

"What the hell do you care if it starts raining anyhow?" Ryoga snarled before he remembered again that he loved this bright spark of life. If Ranma wasn't all impetuous reaction and living soul, I wouldn't be here now. He loves me so. With a sigh, Ryoga bowed his head and tried not to be angry. And as the anger drained out of him, the sadness came back. "'A feeling of sadness and pain...'" It was so intense, it hurt. And one of the most curious facts about the pain was it had no particular cause. It was just there. Just there for him to hold within and mourn for something he knew not what. He could find things to mourn for. A tear leaked out of one eye as Ryoga thought immediately of several reasons that he had to cry. He could turn the feelings within him into something real, and something true, something to actually mourn about, instead of this overwhelming grief. But the truth was that the feelings weren't about anything in particular. It was just... that they would creep up and be a part of him for awhile. "Damn..." Ryoga determinedly reached out to the trees to help him cheer up – and he took a step back and looked up in surprise as he felt the same pain within them. Daring to reach further, Ryoga touched the earth lightly... and felt it echoed there as well. "It is within all of us. It is not I alone." That actually made Ryoga feel a bit better. "Why fight it? Be a part of it instead, and let it be mourned." There is enough sadness here; to express it will acknowledge it. To shove it away into the anger and nonfeeling is wrong, and just creates more problems.

"Ryoga..." Pulling back and then reaching out again, Ranma fearfully took Ryoga's hand in his. I... don't know him like this. Or I do, but... I thought he'd changed. I thought I'd cured him, with my love in our valley. But this is so intense. Ranma felt his own cheeks become wet as he realized with a pang in his heart that this was who he loved, this youth with his darkness and pain, and if he was much different, he wouldn't be the same friend that Ranma had first fallen in love with. He gives his care so intensely, that he gives his life without hesitation. "Ryoga, could you tell me the poem?"

To share... It was an odd thought. Ryoga had never shared his feelings much with anybody but his sensei. With a wince, Ryoga veered away from that thought, remembering the last time they had talked. He looked down at Ranma at his side and he wrapped his arm around Ranma and held him close. I was not wrong about Ranma. Ranma is the one I follow, and he is a good person. A memory came back of Ranma taunting him for no reason and Ryoga shoved it away. Clearing his throat, he settled his voice and turned back out to the darkness. "'The day is done, and darkness falls from the wings of night, as a feather is wafted downward from an eagle in his flight.'"

This time, Ranma listened to the words as well as the voice, and he also watched, and he could almost see the imagery, built upon Ryoga's conviction.

"'I see the lights of the village gleam through the rain and the mist,'" Ryoga lowered his gaze to the town, "'and a feeling of sadness comes o'er me, that my soul cannot resist.'" His voice deepened and colored the feeling through the words, as he let himself feel again what the poet had captured so well. "'A feeling of sadness and longing, that is not akin to pain, and resembles sorrow only as the mist resembles the rain.'" It was a very apt description. Very much so. The pain that leaked out and fell without volition without will. The pain that gathered from everywhere and built until it could no longer be ignored. An umbrella kept out rain, sometimes. Anger kept out the pain, sometimes. But neither could be ignored or simply walked through. The pain of sadness and longing, that would shoot through his body and soul and make him walk out into the world again, tears falling down his face for that which he did not understand.

I don't understand it. Ranma held close to his friend, and listened to the words, and saw the matching sorrow on Ryoga's face, but he instinctively knew that whatever the feeling was, it had never touched him, it had passed him by, and latched onto the one who could share the pain. There's a great deal of difference between mist and rain...

Ranma... Ryoga ran his hand down Ranma's arm and smiled gently. For the first time in his life, he knew what the rest of the poem was about. He'd always latched onto the first three stanzas and ignored the rest. But now... "'Come, read to me some poem, some simple and heartfelt lay, that shall soothe this restless feeling and banish the thoughts of day.'"

Ranma raised an eyebrow, "Now, that I can do... but perhaps we should go back to the hotel first."

Instantly knowing where the confusion was, Ryoga started giggling and couldn't stop, ah, my bright spark of joy... "A 'lay,' Ranma, is a simple narrative poem, or a song."

"Oh..." Ranma was disappointed.

"But I think it would be a very apt comparison..." Ryoga leaned over and kissed Ranma gently. Ranma promptly wrapped his arms around Ryoga and returned the kiss much less gently.

After several minutes of tightly pressing against each other, they moved apart, breathing heavily. With a laugh, Ryoga leaned back and kissed Ranma's nose, licking it just a little as he did so. "Come, my sweet, let's go back to the hotel."

Ranma grabbed his hand and promptly started tugging him down the hill. Ryoga let him, but as soon as they were within eyesight of the passerbyers he firmly disengaged their grip. In puzzlement, Ranma looked to his friend. Ryoga responded with a slight shake of his head and a pointed glance at Ranma's flat chest.

Oh yeah. I'm a guy right now. Ranma had forgotten. Being with Ryoga, he really didn't care anymore what form he was in. Both of his sides were loved so well and so thoroughly by the one who loved him, her.... Ryoga, I love you so... But it was true, Society did not approve so readily. Different was wrong. To go against the flow of tradition and appearance was a fault. It wasn't something that Ranma knew well – after all, he had not exactly grown up in a traditional Japanese family, yet it was a sentiment that he'd seen expressed often. And it amazed him how they could be so rigid on the outside, yet permit such extravagances as long as they were well-hidden. Ranma had always been taught by his dad that to keep the self true, no masks should be worn. And yet... Ranma frowned, once the old lecher showed up, Pop and Mr. Tendo kowtowed with the best of them.

"Ranma."

His name, spoken softly with gentle amusement drew Ranma's attention back and he followed Ryoga into the hotel and up to their room.

Once inside, Ranma almost slammed the door shut as he pushed Ryoga up against the wall, pressing his body against Ryoga's, capturing his lips, grabbing Ryoga's hands and twining his fingers with Ryoga's. Ryoga was his. He didn't belong to the depression, he didn't belong to the trees. He was Ranma's and Ranma wasn't going to let him go.

Ryoga could feel the intensity almost pouring out of Ranma. More than the body pushing against him, more than the tongue deep in his mouth, there was an aura of ki and a swirling maelstrom of feeling that was overwhelming him, pulling him to it... he couldn't feel... With a cry of fright, Ryoga twisted away from Ranma, his eyes open wide as he backed away from his friend... "Ranma," he whispered, "What are you doing?"

Fear? Ramna let his hands fall away from Ryoga's as Ryoga continued to move away. "I..." What's wrong? "Ryoga?"

There was nothing but confusion in Ranma's face. Ryoga stopped as he tried to settle his breathing and reassure himself there was no danger here. It was Ranma. The one he loved. His friend, who gave his live and his soul so that Ryoga could live. Who was looking now like he was going to cry – the beautiful delicate face crinkled up in puzzled anguish, the eyes limpid pools of blue innocence. "Ranma..." Ryoga walked back to his friend and pulled him close in a tight hug, holding the slightly smaller body to him as he closed his eyes and dipped his body to rest his forehead upon Ranma's shoulder. "Ranma, I love you."

By this time, Ranma knew better than to ask. Ryoga wouldn't tell. Whatever it was, Ryoga would push it inside and then ignore it like he did with all his pain. Until something happened to break it open and let it out, shattering the glass heart that Ranma loved so much... "I love you, Ryoga. I love you," Ranma whispered against Ryoga's ear, curving his arms gently around his friend and holding him more lightly than he had before. Stroking his hand down Ryoga's back in caring reassurance. Cradling Ryoga's heart within her own. His own. Ranma's gender switch abruptly flipped around in Ranma's mind as he experienced an emotion that she'd only previously associated with the female form. The tender caring instead of the fierce possessiveness. They could be both, they could be one; but Ranma had only really known what the one was without the other in the girl form, holding Ryoga within her arms, feeding his life with her ki. "My precious love," Ranma murmured, holding Ryoga close, breathing in the special scent of his masculine sweat dry from the dojo. With a grin, Ranma wrinkled his nose and said, "We still need to try out that bath."

"Hot tub," Ryoga muttered but didn't let go of Ranma. He needed him there, he needed the strong arms around him to let him know this was real, this was truth. That Ranma loved him. And he loved Ranma. Ranma wasn't perfect, not by a long-shot, but he was the bright light in Ryoga's life right now, and the one who reassured him that he'd made the right decision. I wouldn't let him go. I came back for him. I will follow him no matter what anyone says. Then his traitorous memory showed the look of bafflement in Ranma's face as he stared at him, trying to figure out who this stranger in front of him was... Ryoga screwed his eyes shut to block out the memory, it wasn't me he didn't recognize! It was the anger. Not me... Not me... Deep inside of him, a layer of love and care began to resonate with his soul, reminding Ryoga of exactly what lengths Ranma would go to keep him near. He loves me.

Raising his head from where it had been buried on Ranma's chest, Ryoga smiled tentatively at his friend, "Ranma, I love you. I always have, and I always will. Believe me."

"Yes, I do; but," Ranma stroked his hand through the rich brown hair, fingering the edges of the headband as he did so, "you didn't like you're going to..."

"Huh?"

At the look of complete puzzlement in Ryoga's eyes, Ranma chuckled and, for an answer, kissed Ryoga deeply, running his tongue into the accepting mouth and withdrawing to suck Ryoga's lower lip into his mouth. There was a lot more of Ryoga that he wanted to love like that...

"Ummm..." Ryoga closed his eyes and accepted the physical senses of Ranma's love, Ranma's care. This time, Ranma's ki was circling more gently, still wrapped close around him, but tender and reassuring instead of possessive and demanding. The hunger was still there, but now it was hunger for the physical body and pleasure. That, Ryoga could answer with a return desire of his own.

Much later, as the moon fell on one side of the world and the pre-rays heralding the sun crept over the other, Ryoga stood at the window and watched. Watched the small village, sleeping and quiet. Watched the stirrings of life in the forest. Watched without seeing. Hearing the steady breaths of his love as Ranma slept deeply in their bed behind him. Ranma... A feeling of intense longing, but this feeling had object and name. Coal-black hair and laughing blue eyes that could turn intense on the moment, a mind sharp and keen, a surety of self that Ryoga envied deeply. Ranma, I love you.

Two people walking down the street; a young man escorting a lady to her home before he left her with only a clasping of hands to show their feelings before they parted. Ryoga watched. I can't stay, Ranma-sweet. I don't belong here. I love you. But I cannot stay. Find your answers, and find your home. But I will not be there. Almost, Ryoga went out through the window right then, but his love for Ranma kept him still. One more night. I have one more day, and one more night to keep him for myself, selfish soul that I am. One more. Ryoga raised his eyes from the forest to the reddening sky above it. Akane-san, my beloved heart, I will return him to you soon. Brown eyes and a gentle smile. A soothing touch as she held him gently and carefully. Protect him, Akane-san, keep him safe. He is not as strong as he thinks, and you are stronger than either of you know.

"Ryoga!"

Blinking himself out of his thoughts, Ryoga whirled around, his hand snatching a bandanna from his head while he automatically ducked. After a moment of stillness, he straightened up and walked to the bed where Ranma was tossing and turning, tangling the sheets. Tears leaked down Ranma's cheeks through closed eyes as he mouthed Ryoga's name again. Ryoga's heart twisted inside out as he reached to stroke Ranma's cheek, "My Love, I'm here. I'm right here."

"Dead... No, he can't be... not Ryoga..." Ranma moaned, flinching away from the gentle touch.

"Ranma, I'm here." Sadly, Ryoga settled down next to his friend and started again the litany of reassurance that soothed the nightmares that had come nearly every night while they healed in the valley. Mid-way through the words and strokes, blue eyes blinked open and latched onto his in desperation. Ryoga didn't miss a beat, but continued on until the pain left Ranma's eyes and a smug assurance took its place.

"Ryoga, you came back."

"I did, Ranma. For you, I did." Ryoga reassured his friend even as he thought of the white land and the promise it had held of the unknown and the familiar. If I had continued on, would I have met my grandparents again? At the thought, he felt again the familiar pang of longing and sorrow for the loss of their company, dulled through years of acceptance. With practice, he put it aside, I can return to the white land at any time... but Ranma needs me now and I will stay for him.

"Ryoga, come back to me always, promise me again." Ranma looked up at the brown eyes that were both so loving and so remote at the same time. He's going to leave me again. But not yet. I have him for one more night. He's mine until tomorrow. And he will always come back to me, I have his promise.

"I promise," Ryoga sealed his words with a kiss, pressing his lips to Ranma's and trembling in desire for the love he felt there.

With a grin through the kiss, Ranma slipped his hands around Ryoga's back and gently pulled until they lay close together, hearts and bodies sharing the same place.

Yawning, Ryoga hefted his backpack over his shoulder and glowered at Ranma. "That's two nights. I don't think I'm going to be getting any sleep in your company, am I?"

Ranma smirked as he studied the map that Nabiki had given them, "The town where Mr. Kuonji lives is this way. Come on, I'll lead." The words were affectionately said, and received in the same manner. Together, they walked to find a past and a future.

 Notes to Chapter 10: