Ranma .05 Vol. 3, Part 2 (Conclusion) Lost Love Warning: It may come as a surprise to some of you, but this serie is rated as a LEMON, and thus may contain scenes of graphic sex. (Imagine that!!) These are included purely for your reading pleasure, so if you object, leave now or forever hold your pieces. Ranma .05...now with the new, lemony-fresh scent. Produced by: Horde O' Hentai Productions, Literature Division Darren Demaine: Chairman of the Horde Lee (Grey Wolf): Guy We Rub for Luck Rob (Barbarian): Breath Weapon Specialist Craig (Dr. Ruminahui): Minister without Parole Written by: Darren Demaine Series concept: Darren Demaine Shamelessly plagiarizing works done by: Takahashi Rumiko-megamisama The sun was disappearing amongst the taller buildings as Ranma casually jogged his way home upon the alley wall. It was quite a ways back to the dojo, and whereas most people would probably have taken the train to Nerima, he saw it as another opportunity to work out. He was in this ward because Hiroshi and Daisuke had asked if he wanted to come with them to a friend's place after school. As he had nothing else planned, it had seemed like a good idea; Akane had something she wanted to get done, so he'd taken up the opportunity to get out with a couple of the guys for a change. Unfortunately, what the guys considered 'a night on the town' didn't quite meet with Ranma's approval. At first he'd had a great time; a friend of Hiroshi's had invited them over along with some other guys from a different school. It had been fun until a bunch of them wanted to watch videos; the tapes of choice being H-anime. Ranma had argued against watching the Goddess Film's 'Sexy Dynamite 2,' but had been loudly and forcefully outvoted. While pornos really weren't too high on Ranma's list of a good way to spend his time, having one of the other new guys constantly throw up whenever a naked woman appeared really wrecked the night. After the videos, (and cleaning up the mess), the gang had started arguing, some wanting to see 'Babewatch' while Hiroshi and Daisuke had been partial to 'Zena: Warrior Priestess.' For Ranma, seeing half naked females was something he had too much of in his life, and watching girls beat the stuffing out of guys was not what he considered at all entertaining. He'd left while the argument was still going on. Girls, girls, girls... that's just about all the other guys ever thought of. It was just about all he ever thought of as well, but in his case it was how best to deal with or avoid them. There was a world of difference between him and the other guys, but he did have to privately admit that when things worked out with a girl, they really worked out well. Unnoticed to himself, his pace on the wall he was walking on changed to a slightly more bouncy step. So caught up his internal image of smug happiness, he was oblivious to the solid wall before him spiderwebbing with cracks from an unseen source. A sudden explosive burst tore out a large circular section of wall just ahead of Ranma, and through the clouds of dust a slightly ragged figure in torn yellowish clothing staggered in. Leaning heavily on an improvised cane Ryoga gasped, his shoulders heaving from exhaustion. "Where am I now!?" he called out desperately, not really expecting an answer. Still gazing into the sunset and happily oblivious to his surroundings, Ranma continued skipping merrily forwards until he put his foot down in a place where Ryoga's entrance had removed that part of the wall. He flipped forwards and the two old friends were reunited as their heads met with a hollow sounding *clang*. "Ow! Who the... Ryoga? Kuso... where did you come from?" Ranma snarled at the other, clutching his aching head in his hands. Ryoga too held his smarting noggin as he turned to glare at his tormenter, then blinked in surprise. "Ranma... so, I'm finally back in Nerima." A sombre look replacing the grimace, Ryoga released his head and got to his feet as Ranma did likewise. "After all this time... I'm finally back... no more fighting my way through jungles, no more rivers to dodge, no more crossing the Desert of Bleached White Bones..." "Actually, this isn't Nerima," Ranma supplied cheerfully. "It's the next ward over." "NO!" screamed Ryoga. "How can I be so close and yet so far!" He started to bang his head repeatedly against what little of the wall remained. "Hey, Ryoga," Ranma called. As much as he enjoyed taunting the pig-boy, Ranma really did have to talk to him. Besides, that wall could not take much more abuse. "Listen man, I got to talk to you about P-chan-" Ryoga stopped bashing his head and stared wildly ahead. "P-chan... Kami- sama... how is she going to react to that?! I never told her!" "Of course you never told Akane," Ranma snapped. "If you had, I wouldn't need to do this, but now I don't have a choice." Carefully, he collected his thoughts and launched into a nice little speech he decided he really should have thought about before. "Now Ryoga, I know what you feel for that uncute tomboy, and while I've never in any way interfered in the past with you as P-chan, the time has come for this charade to end. Things have changed." "What'll she say?" Ryoga moaned. "Well, not really c-changed," Ranma continued, now staring down at his busily intertwining fingers. "I wouldn't really describe anything as having changed, 'cause nothing's going on between Akane and me! Got that?! Nothing! I mean, this whole engagement thing is still our parents' idea, and I'm not in any way interested in that brick!" "How could I have done... that... without telling her..." "And... you know... it's just that... I'm concerned... not about Akane. No, no, no! It's... um... you, Ryoga! It's you I'm worried about, yeah! It hurts me to see a guy like yourself wasting your life on a chick like Ak-... her. So, although I've been a saint 'n all not interfering with you being P- chan, I just can't stand by anymore and let you wreck your life." "She'll kill for lying to her... For not lying to her... for...for everything!" "A-and so," Ranma continued, swallowing hard, "I j-just want to say that I- I'm not going to let you be Akane's pet anymore. It's for Ak-... your own good. If you want to fight me over it, go right ahead, but that's the way it's got to be, got it?!" Forceful now Ranma looked up at his rival, features hard and determined, ready for the fight he knew would be the result of his proclamation. Would have been, had not Ryoga wandered right past Ranma somewhere in the middle of that speech, a dazed expression on his face. "I don't have the right to face her... I'm doomed..." Stunned, Ranma stood there blinking stupidly for a few moments. Suddenly he spun around to face Ryoga's back. "Hey! Get back here you idiot! I'm talking to you!" "I'm the lowest..." "Hey, stupid!" "I have no hope..." "P-chan!" "I'm a goner..." "Nerima is *that* way!" Ranma shouted, pointing in the opposite direction from Ryoga's line of travel. That seemed to get through to Ryoga as he stopped and turned around. While Ranma watched, the lost one's features hardened into something concrete. "You're right. The only honourable thing to do is explain everything and take what I have coming to me." "Hey, have you been listening?" "Thanks, Ranma," Ryoga said as he started to walk by the pig-tailed boy again. Ranma put his foot into the other's face as he passed. "Excuse me, but I'm trying to tell you something!" Ryoga casually punched Ranma into what remained of the wall. "I don't have time for this! I've got to go see her!" "Didn't you hear me?! I'm not letting you sleep in Akane's bed anymore!" Ranma yelled, grabbing him by his collar. "What are you talking about?! Let me go!" "Just hear me out before you get lost again!" Ranma yelled back, tightening his grip on Ryoga's shirt. "Let me go!" Ryoga barred his fangs and pulled the other closer, ready to fight. "Ryoga? Is that you?" Both boys looked over their shoulders, surprise cutting though their anger. Though the lengthening shadows they could see the outline of a figure rapidly approach. Realization sliced through Ryoga and his eyes widened in sudden irrational terror. "Yipes!" He barked, and sprang straight up from the road, dragging a surprised Ranma along with him. A few seconds later Ukyou walked into sight, glancing around intently. "Strange," she muttered, deflating a little. "It sure sounded like Ryoga." She sighed slightly and looked down at the ground, depressed. Still gazing at her feet she leaned back against a tree that overhung the path. She sighed again, then gave herself a soft thump on the head. she thought a little wistfully, Unbeknownst to her, amongst the leaves in the tree above, Ryoga and Ranma were crouching there silently, watching. Ryoga was turning pale and breathing heavily as he looked down upon her, while Ranma was turning blue and just trying to breath as Ryoga kept his hand firmly clenched over Ranma's mouth and nose. Swallowing, Ryoga looked down at the girl below. Ukyou... the person he'd thought about non-stop for the weeks he'd been wandering. The girl who had taken his uncomplicated, depressing life full of straight forward problems and single-handedly turned it into a complicated, depressing life full of complex problems. What had passed between them had left him shaken to the very depths of his soul. What he was feeling was strange, powerful, confusing. It frightened him as he'd never been frightened before. He needed to talk to her... needed to know what she was thinking... but most of all, he needed to get the hell out of there before she saw him. He tried to scramble out along the upper branches, but Ranma, after he got his breath back, grabbed Ryoga and yanked him back. "What's this all about, bacon boy?" Ranma snarled viciously. "Quiet!" Ryoga whispered back, clubbing Ranma hard on the head. "She'll hear us!" "It's just Ukyou," Ranma growled, kicking Ryoga in the chin. "I know! That's why I'm worried!" he answered, putting Ranma in a headlock. The two fighters strained against each other, then suddenly froze into motionlessness as a new voice floated up from below. "Hi! I didn't expect to see you here." "Akane-chan?" Ukyou asked in surprise, staring at the other girl as Akane walked in under the leafy canopy, a small wrapped package held in her arms. "What are you doing here Ukyou? Shouldn't you be running Ucchan's?" Ukyou fidgeted as she answered. "Ah... well, I-I just had a little on my mind I wanted to work out. I decided to take the night off." "Is something wrong?" Akane wondered. "Oh, no," Ukyou laughed, a little forced. "It's nothing important. I have to admit though," she continued, trying to turn the conversation to less troublesome grounds, "I really didn't expect to meet anyone I knew out here. I mean, what are you doing in this ward?" "Oh, I was heading for a train to go back home. I met a girl at the school's martial arts tournament, and she invited me over for a practice session if I was interested. She was pretty good; had a nice grasp of shotokan karate. I was hoping I could get her to come to the dojo to train, I don't think it's too likely." "Why not?" Ukyou asked. "Sakura's parents are set on her becoming a Shinto priestess." "Oh. Hey, what's that?" Ukyou asked, motioning to the package Akane carried against her chest. "Just something I ordered a little while ago, but they didn't have any in the Nerima store. They put it on order for me and one came up at a location around here." "Really, what is it?" Ukyou asked, leaning in a little. Akane quickly moved the parcel behind her back, bushing slightly as she did so. "Oh, j-just a little something I wanted to pick up. Really, it's nothing." Up above in the tree, both guys were silently watching the exchange between the girls. Ranma was trying vainly to slide out of Ryoga's grip, but Ryoga didn't notice. His whole attention was directed towards the two women unaware of their presence. he thought, mistaking the body-blows Ranma was giving him for the pounding of his heart. His eyes closed as they began to burn with tears. His eyes glazed over. Below them, Akane smiled at her friend. "Say Ukyou, want to go and get something to eat?" "Eh?" "Come on, a girl's night out. It'll be fun without having those boars around." "I wouldn't describe the guys as boring," Ukyou replied, smiling slightly. "But sure... I could use dinner right about now. We should head indoors anyway." She glanced around. "The air's kinda heavy, it feels like a thunderstorm." "Strange," Akane replied, moving away with her. "There isn't a cloud in the sky." As the girls walked away, Ranma redoubled his efforts to break free of Ryoga's grip. Very quietly, a now peaceful looking Ryoga took a deep cleansing breath and seemed to relax. "Ranma?" he asked. "Yeah?" Calmly, Ryoga's grip on Ranma tightened. "I think you ought to know I'm feeling very depressed." *KA-BOOM!* "Ah, I was right Akane-chan. Thunder and lightning back where we were." "Good thing we left, huh?" * * * Later, two bruised and battered guys were sitting beside each other at an outdoor yatai. Heads hidden by the overhanging sign, they did not talk much, both busy on eating. Behind the grill, the old man running the place seemed to blissfully ignore them. Slurping up his noodles, Ryoga grunted over at the other. "Hey." "Yeah?" Ranma answered, not bothering to pause in eating. "How do you deal with it?" "What?" "You know, all the girls." Ryoga reached for his glass of water. "I mean, you're an arrogant bastard and an unfaithful guy, yet the girls still come after you. You gotta know something. How... do you talk to a girl? I mean just talk to her?" "What's this all about, Ryoga? You finally thinking about telling Akane the truth? You can't say three special little words to her without getting all tongue tied. You're hopeless." "I am not!" "I dare you," Ranma taunted. "Come on, just repeat after me: Akane..." "A-Akane..." Ryoga stuttered, visions of long brown hair and green eyes distracting him. "I'm P-chan." "I'm P-" Ryoga blinked, then glared at the grinning Ranma. "You know," he forced out through clenched teeth, "I think I understand why women gravitate towards you." "Why? My chiselled good looks, my undeniable masculinity, or is it the fact I'm a such a great guy?" "They just recognize one of their own," Ryoga replied, dumping his glass of water over Ranma. "Hey!" the short red-headed girl sputtered. "I am not a girl!" Ryoga smirked and continued to eat. After a moment of silent fuming Ranma- chan gave up and returned to her food as well. His smirk faded quickly and Ryoga fell back into another glum mood as he ate. Finally he tried again. "Honestly Ranma, how do you talk to a girl?" For a long while Ranma ate quietly, thinking about the other's question. Then she just shrugged. "Hard to say. They expect ya to bring up things like feeling and hopes and dreams and other things like that... but ya also gotta be careful 'cause it's easy to set them off if you dig too deep. They expect you to be the man, but they also get annoyed if you don't know when they want you to get all mushy and stuff... They want you to talk to them, but they can also get really mad if you say the wrong thing, get it?" Ryoga ate silently, chewing over the information. "So... the final result of living with three girls, having four chasing after you, and being a girl-" "I am not a girl!" "-is that you don't know anything." "Hey! I...I know more then you do," Ranma replied quietly, thinking about the recent changes in her life. "That'll be the day," Ryoga returned quietly, thinking about his own new experiences. each thought sharply, hiding their sudden embarrassment by eating. "So, ah... I've been away for awhile... how is everybody?" "Hmmmph?" Ranma asked around a mouthful of noodles. "You know, Kasumi-san, Tendo-ojisan... Ukyou?" "Ukyou? We just saw her a few minutes ago." "So? I asked you a question!" "She's fine. Why?" "Oh... n-no r-reason," Ryoga replied, suddenly very interested in his food. "S-so, has she... s-said anything a-about... oh, you know... m-me?" "Ukyou? Talk about you?" Ranma-chan asked, surprised. She paused to ponder for a few moments. "Hm... actually I think I remember something about, 'I wonder where he is,' and 'I really miss him.'" "Really?" Ryoga replied, his heart thumping wildly. "Ukyou said that?" "No." "No?!" "No, Akane did." "Akane said that? A-about me?" he asked, despair and hope again warring inside him. "About you." "About me?" "Or was she talking about P-chan?" Ranma-chan shrugged and laughed. "It's so easy to get the two of you confused." The hope and despair warring inside Ryoga declared a truce and let anger take the stage. Before the proper amount of justice could be delivered to Saotome however, a hand reached in through the overhanging sign and grabbed the braid of the laughing girl. Tugged sharply, the red-head's torso was yanked back while her legs caught on the bench and kept her butt seated. A dark face loomed over the girl threateningly. "Saotome!" Mousse growled, holding her braid tightly in his fist. "Finally, this time I've found you!" Caught unprepared, Ranma looked into the face above her and tried to ready herself as much as her present posture would allow. "Mousse! W-what do you want?!" "Something I've needed to do for awhile now!" came the fervour filled reply. Pulling sharply, he slammed the back of Ranma's head into the ground. "Ojisan! One order of yakisoba!" Mousse called out, planting his foot firmly in Ranma's face to help him step over the bench. He sat down and rubbed his hands in anticipation as the food was prepared. Glancing over at Ryoga he shrugged casually. "I've been so busy hunting Saotome that I forgot to eat for a few days." "I know the feeling," Ryoga replied, nodding sagely. After a moment, a rather angry red-head levered herself back into a seating position. "You wanna fight?" she demanded. "Later," Mousse replied, digging in. "Looking for you is hungry work. Especially when I keep grabbing the wrong guys." Ryoga shrugged. "Just do what I do; find the nearest twit with a pig-tail who's surrounded by girls." "I tried that," Mousse replied, slurping his food. "But picked the wrong guy. What that green haired girl and the one with the long purple pony tails did to me afterwards was rather painful. Then two wooden water heaters tossed me away as the girls started to argue over him." He shivered. "Man, I pity that guy." * * * Despite the friendly conversation at the restaurant, Ukyou found that she couldn't relax. Partially because she could never trust food she hadn't made herself, but mostly she felt uneasy with Akane present. There was so much she wanted to say, but couldn't get the nerve to even try. They'd been rivals for nearly as long as they'd known each other, and friends for about as long. As much as Ukyou needed a friend right now, rivalry and embarrassment kept her from saying what she really wanted to. "So, I don't suppose you've seen R-Ryoga recently have you?" Ukyou asked instead, anxiously studying the pattern her noodles made in the bowl. "Ryoga-kun?" Akane replied, thinking for a moment. "No, I haven't seen him since he came to Furinkan looking for you. What was that all about anyway?" "Oh, uh... he... ah... wanted to get some food from me for one of his trips." Akane sighed. "It's really too bad he's away so often. I really miss having him around, and I think Ranma does too, although he'd never admit it." Ukyou swallowed a bunch of noodles, gathering her courage. Carefully keeping her voice neutral, she asked, "So... Akane... tell me, what to you... think of Ryoga anyway?" "Eh?" "Well... do you... uh... I'd really like to know if... you... uh..." Ukyou found herself getting flustered as she spoke; that only made her feel more awkward, and further scattered her rapidly fleeting thoughts. This was her chance to sort out the confusing melee of emotions that thundered through her. A way for her to ask the questions that were screaming to be answered. If she could just force it out, then maybe things would fall into place. She had to at least try. "I mean... well... when all's said and done... I really want to know if...if..." A hot flush of courage shot through her and she forced out, "D-do you think he's got a nice butt?" OK, not quite what she'd wanted to say, but at least it was a start. Akane blinked at the question. "Gee, Ukyou," she said after a moment. "I really don't know. Ryoga-kun's such a good friend... I guess I never thought about it." She shrugged. "I suppose so, him working out so much and all. Why you ask?" "Oh, no reason," Ukyou replied cheerfully. "No reason at all. Absolutely none. A perfectly innocent question about a friend. A friend who just happens to be a boy. Not that it's important that he's a boy. I mean, asking about a friend, who just happens to be a boy, is a perfectly normal thing. You know, girls talking about boys. Not that the fact they're asking about a boy is at all important. It's normal for girls to talk about their friends... especially friends who happen to be boys. Not that the friend they're talking about is a boy has any importance. Why do you ask?" she finished, still chipper. Too chipper Akane thought suspiciously; she had to be up to something. Akane shook her head slightly. "So," Ukyou continued, "...w-what do you think of R-Ryoga anyway?" Despite the suspect nature of the conversation, Akane didn't want to lie. "Well... Ryoga-kun's a really nice guy. Someone you can really count on, definitely the most reliable guy I know. He's so kind," Akane continued, totally missing the small, rather violent twitch that spiked through her companion. "And he's always bringing souvenirs from his trips; you don't find many guys who are that considerate, don't you think?" "Quite," Ukyou replied in a strained tone of voice. "He loves pets, and he's so gentle with them that it's remarkable to see. He really listens to me when I try and talk to him... unlike someone else I could mention. He's shy, but it's so cute on him," Akane continued, unaware of the blood vessels pulsating on Ukyou's forehead. "He's sweet and gentle most of the time, but so strong when he's helping others. He's a really great guy; I so look forwards to the times we spend together." "Well, you can't have him!" Ukyou shouted as she sprang from her seat, anger blazing forth from her in rolling waves. There was dead silence in the restaurant. The waitresses, patrons, and Akane all stared up at Ukyou in stunned amazement. Slow realization of what she'd done threw a bucket of ice water over her anger, and there was another long stretch of very embarrassed silence. Then Ukyou pivoted on her heel to face another table and shook her finger at the high school students gapping at her there. "Like I said," she continued in a voice that wavered only slightly. "You can't have gin... You're too young to be drinking." With economy of movement and expression, Ukyou turned back and sat down. It took a few moments more, but conversation in the establishment eventually resumed. Doing her best to keep from turning red, Ukyou attacked her food viciously. she demanded from herself. Tentatively, Akane got her voice back. "Umm... Ukyou...?" "Yeah, I guess that pretty much describes Ryoga," the long-haired girl said, drowning out her friend. "Got all the bases covered, didn't we? Nothing more to discuss on that subject. We've pretty much said all there needs to be said about Ryoga, don't you agree?" Akane started to reply. "Of course you agree," Ukyou continued. "We're finished on him. Time to move on to something else." She nodded with conviction and took a drink of water. Putting the glass down, Ukyou looked over at her friend. "Do you have any idea where he is right now?" Any reply of Akane was cut off as the wall opposite the entry door was suddenly blown away. Through the smoke and rubble, the purple-haired poster child for home demolition strolled in. Ignoring the other shocked patrons, Shampoo bounced up to the two martial artists and smiled down at them. "Nihao violent girl; nihao spatula girl. Where Ranma?" "What do you want with him?" Akane asked archly. "Is obvious, no?" Shampoo replied, sitting down. She sniffed at the food for a second, then turned her nose up. "Shampoo only true woman for Ranma. And soon Ranma see that." "I don't think that's too likely," Akane retorted, vexed. Shampoo faced her rival and smirked. "Oh, Shampoo whole new woman now. Anytime Akane want rematch, Shampoo ready." Ukyou glared at the Chinese girl, her own anger instinctively rising. How dare she say such things to her friend. How dare she say such things about her Ran-chan. And how dare they leave her out of it. Out of the corner of her eye, she noticed Akane turning red as well; odd that Akane seemed more embarrassed than angry. "Sh-Sh-Shampoo," Akane stuttered. "T-there's no reason to-" "Ha! Shampoo know Akane scared of rematch!" "I'm not scared!" Akane returned. "I won that fight! I...I just don't see what a-another round would prove." "What's this all about anyway?" Ukyou demanded, still annoyed that they seemed to be ignoring her. "You guys get into some fight over Ran-chan?" "Well-" Akane hemmed. "Of course," Shampoo cut her off. "Shampoo willing to do anything for Ranma." "Well, don't think you can cut me out of something like this!" Ukyou snarled, defiance rising instinctively. "If you guys have a rematch, I want in!" Despite her anger, Ukyou did wonder why Akane looked horrified and even Shampoo seemed a little put out by her declaration. There was a long moment of silence before Shampoo warily asked, "So... spatula girl want to... join in?" "NO!" Akane shouted sharply. After a moment she calmed down and cleared her throat slightly. "We're not going to fight over this Shampoo. Ukyou. It's really not all that important." Shampoo pursed her lips, then nodded. "Akane right. After all, Shampoo much, much more want to do it with Ranma." Ukyou looked confused while Akane flushed red and stuttered, "Y-yeah, I-I g-guess you'd rather g-get into a w-wrestling match with R-Ranma." Despite turning her nose up earlier, Shampoo now snagged a spring roll. "So, what girls talk about?" "Girl talk," Ukyou replied. "We were just comparing Ryoga's butt." Shampoo seemed to think for a moment. "Hmm, butt not too bad." Ukyou looked surprised. "Shampoo... I thought you only had eyes for Ran- chan." The Chinese girl waved her hand breezily. "Ranma only man for Shampoo by Amazon law, but no law stop Shampoo from looking." "Why you little devil you," Ukyou smirked. "So, what do you think of Mousse?" "Mousse?" said Shampoo, surprised. Blinking for a moment, she munched her spring roll thoughtfully then shrugged. "Him not bad. No Ranma, but good physique. Best from the village. Nice eyes too." "That it?" Akane asked. "Well... him got other nice parts as well." She blinked as the other two girls squealed. "What?" "It's just that we'd never have expected you to say something like that about Mousse," Ukyou noted. "Just because Mousse idiot no reason not to admire body," Shampoo stated, seeming a little defensive. Akane gave her a smug smile. "Sounds like you're getting soft on him." Ukyou nodded as well. "Never!" Shampoo snarled. "Give one reason why Shampoo give Mousse time of day!" "'Cause he's got it bad for you sugar," Ukyou replied. "And any girl knows that the best guys are the ones who are putty in your hands." Shampoo looked confused. "Who want that? Men best when they stay firm." "I'm sorry," a waitress said, upon seeing Akane and Ukyou's suddenly red faces. "Are things too hot for you?" * * * A little later, two guys and a busty red-headed were wandering along an empty street, heading home. The boy with the bandanna glared over at his female companion. "Just remember you owe me!" Ranma-chan turned to Ryoga and gave him a shimmering-eyed look of pure feminine vulnerability. "Ryoga-kun," she said with just the right waver in her 'cute-enough-to-kill' voice. "Do you really expect a girl to pay her own way?" "Shut up you perverted freak!" Ryoga shouted, lunging at the small girl who danced out of his way. "How come I had to pay for your meal!?" Ranma-chan shrugged as she dodged around his strikes. "Oyaji's a tightwad when it comes to my allowance. Besides, you don't know what it's like to live under the same roof as Nabiki." Mousse shook his head. "You're so pathetic, Saotome. Imagine letting a woman control you like that." Ryoga launched a backwards kick at Mousse's head which was barely avoided. "And what about you?! You've got a job, how come I had to pay your bill as well!?" "Hey! You think the old ghoul actually pays me for working at the Nekohanten? I do it just for the pleasure of being near Shampoo!" "And that's not pathetic?!" "It's devotion! There's a difference!" "In a pig's eye!" "Who are you calling a pig!?" Conversation pretty much went downhill after that point. Ryoga launched furious attacks at the red-head, trying to bring his great strength into play. Ranma stayed out of reach however, and Ryoga was unable to do much more with Mousse throwing weapons into the fray indiscriminately. Ranma-chan twisted around the chains and closed on Mousse, only to be driven back when Ryoga snapped out a series of kicks towards her head. For his actions Ryoga got wrapped up in one of Mousse's chains, then yanked off his feet when Mousse pulled back. Crashing to the ground caused Ryoga to grunt momentarily, but he reached out to grab the chain that bound him. Putting his strength behind the manoeuvre he tugged on the chain, the sudden resistance pulling Mousse off balance. Ranma-chan closed on the recovering Mousse and let loose a blizzard of strikes, driving him back as he struggled to form a defence. Untangling from the chain, Ryoga flipped onto his front, coiled his legs beneath himself and sprang at Ranma's back. Aimed low, he stretched out to entangle the red-head's legs, negate her speed advantage and allow him to- "Nihao Ranma!" came a bubbly, cheerful voice. Shampoo happily jumped in on Ryoga's head, driving it down into the concrete, before leaping the remaining distance to entangle the red-head in a manner entirely different, yet far more effective than what Ryoga had envisioned. "Gah! Shampoo, get offa me!" Ranma-chan shouted, twisting, trying to shake her loose and failing miserably. Glaring, she tried to pry the snuggling Chinese girl off, her concentration shattered. An enraged Mousse screamed at the sight before him and heedlessly threw himself at his hated rival. Struggling to unlatch Shampoo, Ranma-chan never saw the attack coming. Thus, Akane's elbow nailed Ranma dead in the nose. "And just what do you two *girls* think you're doing in public?" she asked acidly as Shampoo casually pulled her foot from Mousse's face, letting him slide limply to the ground from his aborted attack. Shampoo bounced out of Ranma's grip as the red-head staggered from the force of Akane's blow. "What'd you do that for?" Ranma-chan demanded. "Have you no shame?" Akane returned. "Do you have any idea what you two look like doing that in public?" "Look like husband and wife!" Shampoo supplied happily. "I don't see anyone who could be considered a husband," Akane snapped. "Look in the mirror," Ranma countered. "With a figure like your's I can understand someone mistaking you for a guy!" "What did you say!?" Spitting out chunks of concrete, Ryoga pulled his face from the ground. Seething, he rose to his feet, unaware the mood had shifted from indiscriminate to a more personalized and private kind of violence. Taking a step forward, his vision narrowed in a red haze to encompass only the form of Ranma before him. Fury consuming his every thought, he gathered his rage together, ready to- "R-Ryoga?" The soft voice from behind froze his advance. The fire of battle fled into the night as an icy claw drove into his chest. Heart thumping wildly, his eyes widened and the red mist vanished. Trembling, he slowly turned around to face... "U-Ukyou." Head tilted back slightly, she gazed up at him. Green eyes wide and shimmering, she stared into his brown irises, feeling her heart pound in her chest. The ground beneath Ryoga suddenly felt insubstantial, unable to bear the weight of his thundering emotions. He stared back, wanting to say something but finding his throat drier then the deserts he'd been lost in. Ukyou too found herself at a loss, her voice spirited away and left grasping at words that made no sense. Chirping cicadas provided the only sound they heard. As much as he wanted too, Ryoga couldn't lose himself in the beauty of her eyes or the lines of her face; the pressure weighting on his soul wouldn't let him. He knew something had to be done, had to be said. Although it could only destroy the perfect moment, words must pass between them. Struggling against the toughest foe he'd ever faced, Ryoga opened his mouth and felt his heart rushing up to animate his tongue. "Just... listen to me. Please. I want you to understand, that no matter how confused things get sometimes, that I am always here. And I know that deep down, you truly understand what it is I'm going through." The speech was beautiful, honest, and no true heart could have stood against it...if only it had been delivered to the right girl. Ryoga and Ukyou looked down with shattered expressions as Mousse, kneeling by Ukyou's feet, stared up at her with beautiful, shimmering eyes that expressed a love pure and true. "I want you to just listen to me, Shampoo. I will forever stand before you as the only one you need to count on. As for you, you should know you make me feel joy every time you are around-" A well aimed bonbori flashed by and caved the side of Mousse's head in. Furious, the owner of the weapon shouted, "Shampoo over here!" Mousse painfully rose to his feet and put his glasses on. Blinking he looked at the slightly trembling Ukyou, then sprang towards Shampoo. "Please my darling, listen to-" He never finished as Shampoo picked him out of the air and proceeded to thrash him royally. "Mousse have something to say to Shampoo, then say it to her!" she shouted as she beat him into the dust. Watching the fury that animated Shampoo, Akane couldn't keep a frown of thought from forming. "If I didn't know better, I'd say Shampoo was a little jealous." Ranma snorted. "Shampoo's not jealous. You want to see jealous, take a look at yourself." Akane spun to face the busty girl. "I am not jealous!" A cute red-head clinging to the arm of an attractive blond walked by just then. The girl's gaze flashed unceasingly from person to person. "Yuu," she said nervously to her companion, "why is that girl watching you? Yuu, isn't that girl walking a little too close to you? Yuu, are those girls talking about you? Yuu, see that man looking at you? Ahh! You're both too beautiful! You're going to leave me for him, won't you?! Yuu, answer me!" Akane turned back to face Ranma. "That's jealous." Ranma snorted something dismissive. Instead of dignifying a reply, she turned to face her two friends who hadn't done anything for the last little while except examine the ground intently. "Hey Ukyou, we're heading off," she said. "You wanna catch the next train home with us?" The long-haired girl blinked, looking up nervously. "Um... ah... no thanks, Ran-chan. I...I can find my own way home." "S-same here," Ryoga replied. "Yeah, right." "Shampoo go with Ranma!" the Chinese girl injected happily, snuggling up against Ranma's shoulder in a suggestive manner. Akane gave the Amazon a look that would have made ten thousand paper-cuts seem like a pleasant diversion, and an even worse one to her fiance. "Don't you think you'd better take Mousse home?" she asked through clenched teeth. Shampoo glanced down and seemed surprised to note that she was lugging the unconscious boy over her shoulder. Her brows furrowed for a moment in thought, then she sighed. "Shampoo guess Akane right." She noticed the looks she was getting and quickly added, "no get any work done if Mousse left in alley." Still frowning down at the unconscious boy, she walked over to her bike and dumped Mousse in the front basket. With a screech of tires she petalled off, not even bothering to wave to Ranma as she left. Shrugging, Ranma motioned to Akane while she waved to Ukyou. Ukyou smiled a bright and cheerful smile back as Ryoga did likewise to Akane. As the two wandered off towards home, they started to get into some kind of argument. The girls vanished from sight long before their voices were silenced by other sounds of the evening. Alone with Ukyou, Ryoga's smile fell and nervousness returned full force. he thought as he slowly turned to face her, his face feeling hot. "And just where the hell where you?!" Ukyou demanded, glaring at him. <...rotten.> "What do you mean?" he asked defensively. "You've been gone for weeks! I told you to wait for me by the trees behind the school, but when I got there, you'd left! At first I thought you'd gone to my place, but you never showed up their either!" "Hey!" he snapped back, annoyed at her tone. "Who are you to talk? I waited by the trees for days without leaving! It was you that never showed up!" "What? How dare you say that!" "Well it's true!" he shouted, rooting through his backpack. "I've got proof! I had someone take my picture by the trees to show I was there!" Pulling out a snapshot, he thrust it in her face. Ukyou stared at the picture presented before her; after a long moment she closed her eyes. Probably thinking of an apology he thought smugly. "Ryoga, just how many giant redwoods do you think there are in Japan anyway?" There was a long pause. Ryoga turned the picture around and looked at it again. Slowly, his face turned a little red. Ukyou took several deep breaths, a tense expression clouding her face. "Ryoga-" she began through clenched teeth. "Wait," he interrupted. "L-let me say something first." Gradually the tension bled from her face and she looked back up at him. "Uh... look, U-Ukyou," he began, finding his throat seizing up painfully. "I...I have to... I have to tell you something." Like him, she looked uneasy as he started to speak. "Um... I...I want to say... that... there's something... about me... that I just have to tell you." He struggled for words, his stomach rolling uneasy as she watched him, concerned. "Ukyou," he struggled. "This isn't easy for me to say... but I...I'm..." She started at him closely, her eyes widening a little as she realized how much this effort was costing him. Not quite knowing why, she felt an icy claw clutch at her chest. "I'm...I'm... Ukyou, I'm..." "Gay?" she supplied helpfully. Ryoga collapsed as if stabbed through the heart with an I-beam. After a second of painful twitching, he leapt back to his feet and towered over her threateningly. "I am not gay!" "You're not?" "NO!" "Whew! For a moment there you really had me wondering." "How could you think *I* was gay!?" he shouted. "Well what was I suppose to think!?" she screamed back, angered by his tone. "What else could make you that nervous?" "That's what I'm trying to tell you!" he shouted, swinging his arm wide for emphasis. Nose to nose with her, he struggled to control his anger, the pounding of his blood echoing in his ears like the tearing of metal. his brain asked. With extreme reluctance, he slowly shifted his eyes over to the right and saw his extended fist embedded in the spout of a garden facet. Through the newly made crack in the pipe, he could just feel the water starting to spill out over his knuckles. It was cold, but nowhere near as cold as the Arctic blast that struck at his heart. Ukyou shrieked in surprise, taking a step back as the water instantly soaked through her clothes. Averting her gaze from the gushing fountain, she leaned over and kicked at the broken pipe till it faced away, spraying harmlessly against a wall. Shivering, she snapped her arms to shake loose at least some water. "Damn!" she muttered, brushing her damp hair back and turning to face Ryoga once again. "Anyway, you were saying-" He wasn't there. Instead, she saw a pile of his drenched clothes and backpack laying in the street where he'd been standing. She blinked, confused. She'd kind of expected him to run rather than actually have the guts to say what was troubling him, but how the heck had he gotten away so quickly? Twisting her head she looked all around, her gaze finally returning to the pile of clothes. His flight was nothing new, but as to why he was fleeing in the nude...? Perplexed, she knelt down and reached for his things. The mound of clothing suddenly twitched and Ukyou snatched her hands away. Staring, she watched as a small lump wormed its way through the pile till it reached an opening, then pause. Confused, she slowly reached a hand over and lifted the edge of Ryoga's shirt to reveal a drenched and miserable- "P-chan?" she whispered. The small black pig was trembling, then took a big swallow and turned to face her with an expression of innocence pure as the driven snow. The girl and the pig stared at each other for a long, silent moment. Then, very softly Ukyou breathed, "Ryoga." P-chan's face collapsed. He staggered back on his hooves shaking his head wildly. Ukyou just stared at him, her face blank and stunned. Tears appeared in P-chan's gigantic eyes, and he suddenly fled from her, bweeing something miserable. Ukyou just sat there, her mind spinning, struggling to come to grips with what she'd just discovered. He was a pig. He was running away. He was P-chan. And he was running away. The guy she'd... well... you know... with, was a pig. Who was running away. He's got a Jhusenkyou curse. He's running away. It turns him into a pig. We've already agreed on that. Right now, we really should do something. About him being a pig? No, the running away part. Blinking suddenly, she looked up to see P-...er...Ryoga...streaking away for her, trailing tears behind him. For a moment longer she was still, just watching him flee. Then a hot rush of emotion shot through her and she snatched up his stuff and bolted after him. "Get back here!" she screamed. Up ahead, Ryoga heard her voice through his shattered heart and shame flooded through him. He couldn't just leave; he had to do something. he told himself. Slowing, he came to a halt and braced himself to face her, no matter the cost. Turning, he raised his snout and remorsefully looked up as she approached, watching her feet pound the pavement with a vengeance as she closed. Seeing her beautiful, rage contorted face gleaming furiously by the glow of the street lights, and the large, gleaming spatula come out and be held with feverous intensity- "Come on Akane, tell me what's in the bag." "Stop whining Ranma! I'll show you later, if you're good." "But I want to see now!" Akane turned to say something, but her reply was cut off as a small black object, bweeing like a jet engine, suddenly appeared behind them. In less time than it took to blink, the black streak had closed the distance and crashed full speed into one of Ranma's legs. The force of the impact threw the red-head's legs into the air and her to the ground, but didn't appear to have any effect on the black blur, which continued on its way without slowing in the slightest. "Ranma!" Akane called, turning towards her. "Wasn't that-" Akane's words were cut off as a larger blur shot past, missing her by a few millimetres. It followed in the path of the black streak, but any identification was impossible as the ensuing windstorm kept Akane busy holding her skirt down. "What the-" Ranma blinked as a several articles of clothing fluttered slowly in the wind tunnel created by the speeding figures. Once her modesty was safe, Akane reached out and snagged a yellowish-brown bandanna. Getting to her feet, Ranma looked at the bandanna with a frown. Glaring in the direction of the departed figures, she growled, "Kuso... What the hell does Ryoga think he's doing anyway?" "Ryoga?" Akane asked, looking at the bandanna with a puzzled expression. She too glanced in the direction of the vanished figures. Having released some of his clothing, Ukyou found she gained just enough speed to overtake her victim. Putting on another burst of speed, she blew past some stunned couple and took the corner sharply, finally getting close enough. Leaping high, she brought her combat spatula down flat on him, screaming, "Damn it, I just want to talk!" After a second of just standing there her shoulders heaving with effort, she slowly peeled her spatula off. A stunned, battered pig pulled itself from the nice impression it had made in the concrete and made a weak attempt to stagger off. Ukyou repeatedly brought a four-foot stone tanuki statue down on the pig until it stopped moving. It only took about a dozen hits. * * * Slowly, consciousness returned to Ryoga, and along with it the memory of what had just occurred. Groaning, he placed a hand over his eyes. His deepest, darkest secret on display before the woman he had vowed to explain everything to. Well, he planned to tell her eventually. These things took time. Instead, she had to find out in such a shameful manner. He was not given the chance to redeem his tarnished honour by having her hear it from his own lips. No doubt she would hate him for not telling her. His whole life was a deep, dark pit of his own making. "Why is this happening to me!?" he raged at the world. Then he stopped. He'd spoken those words, not oinked them. Opening his eyes he saw that he was human once again. Surprised, he sat up and looked around. Warm, clean sheets fell from his chest as he sat up in bed. Stars gleamed in through an open window, and the walls of the bedroom were lined with shelves. Each shelf was heavily laden with travel souvenirs from all corners of Japan, and in many cases, the world. Stunned, he barely noticed his backpack lying beside the bed. This was his room; that meant he was home. How'd he gotten here? "Ryoga? You awake?" The door opened a bit and an attractive head peaked in. "Ukyou? W-what are we doing in my house?" "I brought you here," she said, opening the door and walking inside. Instead of her cooking uniform he saw she was now wearing one of his faded undershirts, and near as he could tell not much else. The neck hole was large and uncentered enough to give a peek of her bare right shoulder, while the loose hem of the shirt barely reached past her hips, leaving shapely limbs uncovered. The shirt was just large enough to hint at her figure with a relaxed kind of hug. He blinked a few times, his attention still on her as Shirokuro and the puppies followed Ukyou into the room and mobbed their master. She noticed his gaze and picked at the shirt nervously. "Uh, my clothes were wet, so I kinda borrowed some of yours. It's OK, isn't it?" "Huh," he replied, absently petting the frisky dogs. "Oh, yeah, sure. How...How'd you know where I live?" She shrugged and sat down on the bed. As Shirokuro lay down by her master, the puppies yapped to each other and seemed quite content to roam from one human to the other. "I found your wallet in your backpack. It had your address in it." "It does?" he asked, stunned. "Wow. Who'd have guessed?" She gave him an evil eye, but found that a puppy licking your palm did wonders to ease stress. Clearing her throat she got to her feet, holding the puppy to her chest. "Uh, Ryoga... I...I'd... Do you want to come to the kitchen? I've got some tea heating up," she finished, chickening out. "Uh, s-sure," he replied, tossing the covers back and standing up. "You might want to put some clothes on first," She stated, pointedly turning on her heel and walking out of the room, the dogs following. Ryoga blushed and grabbed for his clothes drawer. A few moments later he found the door and descended the stairs. Shirokuro trotted out and barked at him before he could head out the front door. Sheepishly he turned and followed the dog into the kitchen. Inside, Ukyou had disarmed the burglar traps without mishap and had two steaming cups of tea ready. Sweeping her long hair back, she sat down and pulled her shirt lower, tugging it a little tight over her chest. Gingerly Ryoga sat as well, grabbing his tea and chugging it down. The dogs wandered around the two humans, thoroughly enjoying themselves. "Another cup?" Ukyou asked. He nodded and she got up to walk over to the stove. Fidgeting for a moment, he couldn't help but follow her bare legs and waving hair with his eyes. Why was she here? Why hadn't she left him when she found out about- She turned back with his cup and the kettle, and he suddenly found the puppy attacking his toes to be very interesting. Ukyou sat down again, handing him his full cup. As he gulped it down, she sipped at hers. A few moments past silently, then she looked up at him. "So, uh... nice place you got here sugar." "Yeah, um... thanks. I really don't get to be here as often as I'd like to." "Too bad, it's... ah... a nice place... and you must miss your dogs." They were both silent for a few more moments. "I should've made the tea... it is my place after all." "Don't worry about it," she replied, shaking her head. "I enjoy working with food. It... helps me think." When she fell silent, Ryoga struggled for something to say. Small talk with girls was not something he had much practice with, and his inability severed to come crashing down on him. Talk about something safe, he realized, but what? Weather? Sports? The constitutional crisis in Canada? The real meaning behind 'My Pure Heart For You?' Finally, timidly, Ukyou looked up at him. "Uh... Ryoga, I think we should talk." "Uh... yeah," he replied, unknowingly crushing his cup into shards. "I...I'm sorry... I...I really wanted to tell you about...about..." "P-chan?" she finished for him. He nodded miserably, taking a sip from his shattered cup. "I should have told you, but I...I try to keep it a secret." "I guess I can understand that," Ukyou sighed. "It's not exactly something you would share with people. Sort of explains why Ran-chan keeps picking on you though. I take it he's never told Akane-chan?" Ryoga shifted uncomfortably. "No, despite the fact that he's a bastard, he's never told her. I guess it's his one redeeming feature. To her I'm her pet and confidant, the one person she can trust no matter what happens." "But can she trust you? After all, you are lying to her." "I know! I know!" Ryoga wailed, putting his head into his hands. "I've tried so often to tell her that I love her! Once I do that, I'm sure I can explain about my curse! I just need to say that I love her!" Ukyou carefully kept her eyes on the cup clenched tightly in her hands, holding her lower lip between her teeth. Finally she swallowed and quietly asked, "D-do you love her?" Ryoga paused, looking up at her in surprise, realizing what he'd just said. For a long moment he stared at her, his expression alarmed. Then he deflated and looked at the shattered remains of his own cup miserably. "Still?" she asked in a small voice. Ryoga gazed down hard at the steaming liquid. "I...I guess I can understand," Ukyou replied. "It's not easy to give up on someone you love, is it? It seems like you're betraying your feelings for them. As if what you felt was not as strong as you thought it was. And if it wasn't, how could you claim to have loved them in the first place?" The two were silent for a time, not hearing the sounds of the puppies. Finally Ryoga looked up at her beautiful face, his eyes forlorn through his bangs. "You l-love Ranma." It was a statement, not a question. Almost invisibly she nodded, her hair shining from the bright kitchen lights. "I hated him for so long...and then when I found him he changed my world completely around. I...I could be a girl again, I could recover a part of myself that I hadn't dreamt still remained. It was a shock, a blow to my mind. Being allowed to *feel* like that again... it was a precious gift he gave me, and I can't but love him for allowing me that opportunity again." Ryoga's gaze fell from her features, dragging his heart along with it. "I...I... Akane was the first person to be nice to me both as a person and as a pig. She treats me like a friend, a good friend. No matter how hectic her life is at any moment, she always spares time to say something sweet to me. She's the first girl who's ever been really nice to me, and not made fun of my problems. For someone as beautiful and popular as her to treat me like a human being..." He shook his head sadly. "Maybe I'm no different from all the other guys who mob her, but I'd like to think I can offer her more... could offer her more if only she'd notice." Silently Ukyou refilled their cups. Both took another drink then continued to stare down at the table top. Ryoga fidgeted for a moment, searching for something to say. "A...about what...what happened-" Before he could continue she reached over and grasped one of his hands tightly. He looked up and saw she was blushing. He also flushed as they both looked suddenly away. "Ryoga... don't say anything. It... just kinda happened, ya know? A spur of the moment thing. I mean, it was the situation we were in, right? I mean, we'd never do something like that... if we knew what we were doing... would we?" "I guess not," he agreed, feeling his heart ice over again. Indecision and confusion transmuted into depression as yet another aspect of his world turned bleak. Not that he hadn't expected this, but to actually be confronted with the fact was a dark blow indeed. The small spark of hope that had existed within his breast was cruelly snuffed out. "Admit it, we're both in love with other people, no matter how painful that is. And we just have to accept this as the way it's going to be." He nodded glumly. Ukyou sighed heavily, "So be it." There was a silent gulf between them despite their touching, and the puppies, confused by the heavy emotions in the air, whined slightly. Ukyou felt the crushing feeling press down on her as they sat there silently. Glancing over at him, she noted his head hanging low and the almost visible gloom that hovered around him like a black aura. Taking a breath through the weight she felt constricting the air around her was one of the hardest things she'd ever done. "R-Ryoga?" "Yeah?" he replied in a shattered monotone. "You...you doing anything tomorrow?" Listlessly he turned to face her, some minute measure of curiosity working its way up through his psyche, wondering vaguely what she was getting at. "If not... want to catch a movie?" There was a long period of silence before Ryoga's jaw started to work, but still no sound came out. Bleak depression inside him churned over into a new type of confusion he was unfamiliar with. Finally, noises like, "But... we... I... huh..." emerged. Ukyou smiled thinly. "I'm asking... if you'd like to go on a date." "But... we... what..." After a long moment he hauled his jaw shut and grabbed the scattered remains of his fleeting thoughts. "D-didn't we just say we were both in love with other people?" Ukyou nodded. "We did. However..." she said meaningfully as she began to study the teapot with great enthusiasm. "Well, I love Ran-chan, and I guess that's not about to change... but if...if something were to develop for some other guy," she was sure she could feel his blush all the way through his hand. "Then I guess it wouldn't be a betrayal, would it? I mean... if I were swept off my feet by some handsome stranger, it would be his fault rather than mine that I couldn't be with Ran-chan...right?" She glanced fleetingly at him. "Know anybody who might be willing to try?" "B...b..." "And a cute guy like you... I bet there are lots of girls who'd be willing to snatch you up at a moment's notice. And if one of them actually had a hook to hold you down with... well... *I* certainly wouldn't be the type to just let a guy go." "W...w..." "Of course," she continued, "we could rationalize this by describing it as an attempt on our part to make Ran-chan and Akane feel jealous. If they're too dense to come to their senses before something... develops... well, just look at what they'd be missing." "Y-you mean you think you could-" She sighed heavily, cutting him off. "I don't know yet. You're headstrong, kinda pushy, a little thoughtless, totally directionally impaired, unable to get three words out to a girl, somewhat crass, a bit wimpish, and you turn into a pig." She looked him in the eye. "I've seen worse." "W-What about..." "P-chan?" Again she sighed. "I admit it's a bit of a surprise, but not all that bad when you consider it. I'm pretty sure I could get used to it." A giggle worked it's way to the surface. "I mean, I've never really had a relationship with a guy before, so how could I possibly say it's a strike against you. You've seen the type of guys I seem to attract: Tsubasa, Ran-chan and all the rest. Hell, it'll just be nice to be around a guy who has no tendency to dress up like a girl!" She broke out into full fledged laughter and Ryoga joined in after a moment. Suddenly she went deadly serious. "You don't dress up like a girl... do you?" "NO! Never!" Ryoga shouted. As Ukyou visibly relaxed, Ryoga fumbled and kept on talking. "Never... except for that one time in Ryugenzawa... But I had a damn good reason to put on that nurse's uniform! Including the make-up!" Ukyou closed her eyes for a moment. Before she allowed herself to answer that disturbing question, she opened her eyes and flashed him a smile. "Well, what do you say sugar?" He looked at her for a long moment, gazing at the beautiful girl before him; who was waiting for his opinion, asking him to make the decision. Finally, he turned his hand over and gently clasped her fingers. "B-boyfriend and girlfriend?" he asked shyly. She nodded, her smile easing slightly into a more serious vein. "Maybe. Given time, who knows?" "I've...I've never really had one before," Ryoga admitted shyly. "A girlfriend," he clarified, watching her cock her head at him. "I most certainly have _never_ had a boyfriend!" "Lucky you," Ukyou replied, smiling slyly. "I was never too sure which Tsubasa was trying to be." She got to her feet and stretched, while Ryoga was busy dealing with depression firmly becoming a totally new kind of confusion and anxiety. The dogs began to yap again with the humans' activity, and Ukyou started to put the cups away. "I guess my clothes ought to be dry now. Tell ya what sugar: I'll cook you dinner, then you can walk me home." Ryoga shuffled uncomfortably at the last comment. "Uh...can I stay at your place for the night then?" She glared at him and placed her hands on her hips. "Surely you can find your way back home, can't you?" "I wish. My whole family couldn't find their way back to here. That's why my parents aren't home." She shook her head. "Your whole family's like you? How the hell did your parents ever meet anyway?" "At a tourist information booth." Ukyou looked at him hard for a moment, then cocked her head and smiled at him in a wholly disarming manner. For some reason that beautiful expression left Ryoga's soul shivering with trepidation. "Well, let's see if we can't do something about that direction problem of yours after dinner." * * * Akane threw herself through the air, striking hard at her phantom opponent. A quick double kick flashed out before her feet came back down to the wooden dojo floor. She took the jar of the impact on flexed knees and was off again in an instant. With short, powerful jabs she punched out, the motion jostling loose beads of sweat from her forehead. A fixed, determined frown on her face, she advanced in one direction striking towards the far wall. Reaching the barrier she let loose a final side kick and spun around on her bare foot to continue back in the direction she'd come. Instead she caught a facefull of Ranma, standing less then a handsbreadth away and sticking his tongue out at her. "Nyaaa!!" "Eeeeeek!!" Akane screamed as she jumped backwards, her heart pounding. Ranma took his fingers out of his mouth and laughed while she stood with her back to the wall and a hand pressed to her hammering chest. "Don't do that!" she yelled. She stepped away from the wall and snapped out a punch which he easily dodged. "If you want to do something, then let's fight!" Ranma sidestepped her next several strikes without any trouble, grinning the whole while. He was just about to start taunting her when she blew out a defeated breath and stopped. "Hey, what's the matter? I though you wanted to fight." "I want to spar," she said in annoyance, picking up a towel and mopping her forehead. "Not just watch you dodge. You think that's any way for me to deal with what's on my mind?" Ranma glanced at her as she sank down by the dojo's door. He saw her pick up some kind of handkerchief from by her towel. "Something wrong?" he asked. "Just something I've been trying to work out in my head. Nothing you need to concern your busy mind over," she said, waving her hand at him in a dismissive manner. Ranma grunted and looked around the dojo. "Hey, where's your dad?" "Same place as your father... Happosai decided they were getting soft and took them out for some more 'training.'" "Can't argue about them getting soft, but I wouldn't trust what that old freak will teach them. And everybody else?" Akane gently rubbed the piece of cloth in her hands. "Kasumi-oneechan went out to see some friends, and Nabiki-oneechan said she was going to go tutor Kuno-sempai." Ranma snorted. "Man, why she even bother?" He looked around for a moment, then slowly turned back to stare at his fiancée. "Sooo... what you're saying is that we're all alone here." Her mind clearly elsewhere, Akane nodded vaguely. Ranma nervously rubbed his hands together and took a deep breath as he looked at her back. First however, he sprang around to check in all the corners of the dojo, the attic above, the area beneath the floor, outside the windows, and everywhere else within sight. Not seeing anyone who might interrupt them, he cracked his shoulders once and walked up to Akane. As she looked out through the open dojo door, he knelt down behind her. Pausing only to take another furtive glance around, he reached out and delicately wrapped an arm about her shoulders. Startled out of her thoughts by his touch, Akane stiffened. Now even more scared than he'd been a second ago, Ranma almost snatched his arm back, his mouth already working on an apology in the vain hope of avoiding pain. Then all of a sudden he felt the tenseness leave her body. Very slowly she leaned into him, resting the back of her head in the crook of his neck. He brought his other arm around and gently embraced her slim waist. Akane closed her eyes and breathed softly. In her hand, she still held the small piece of fabric that continued to intrude her thoughts. Swallowing softly she asked, "Ranma?" "Hmm?" "Would it... is it OK if..." Ranma looked puzzled as she timidly continued. "I mean...I'm not really feeling up to it tonight." "Eh?" "Is it OK if this is all we do?" she continued, a worried, apprehensive note creeping into her voice. Ranma blinked, a bit uneasy realizing how anxious she seemed to be. "Uh... sure thing Akane," he said slowly. What was she expecting: that he was going to get upset with her? Then as he got a bit more of his poise back, "I mean, I can understand how difficult it is for you to hold back your natural desire for me, but if that's what you want-" His speech was cut off as she drove her elbow back into his gut just hard enough to make him grunt. "I'll try and keep myself under control," Akane remarked, timidness replaced by irritation. Nonetheless, he could feel her body totally relax in his arms. Grinning softly he shifted the two of them into a more comfortable position. As they settled in together, that odd kind of tension he'd been feeling, that he would not, ever, in any way describe as performance anxiety, just bled away leaving him feeling very, very content. "Your whole world can change quickly, can't it?" Akane asked quietly, rhetorically, as she ran the coloured piece of cloth through her fingers. Ranma's only reply was to softly nuzzle her ear with his nose, taking in the captivating sent of her hair and sweat. "It's...it's just so hard to believe." "Yeah," Ranma agreed. "It does seem strange sometimes... from fighting all the time to...to doing this." Akane blinked; that wasn't what she'd been talking about. Nonetheless, it was an important issue. "And how would you describe it?" she asked, curious. Ranma blinked in surprise; he hadn't expected her to ask that. Thrown off balance, his mind grappled for a way to answer. How was he to explain what they felt for each other, now that they had found a way to express it. How could he describe physical intimacy between two very athletic and... well... acrobatic young people? And in such terms that wouldn't get him injured? "It was... well... it's nice." "Nice?" she uttered, disbelieving. "Is that all you can say?" "Well, how would you describe... uh... what we're doing?" he challenged. Akane huffed and settled herself against him more snugly. "Beautiful," she said after a moment. Ranma grunted noncommittally even if he did have to agree with her. "And wild," she added a second later. Ranma sputtered. Finally getting his voice, he shook her gently. "How come you can say things like that and I can't?" "Because I'm not a pervert," she said fondly, placing one of her hands over his and turning her head to smile at him. He grumbled something, unwilling to start an argument when she looked so cute. Akane nestled back against him while Ranma moved his hand up from her shoulder to her neck. Gently, he ran his fingers over her skin in a light, caressing motion. Akane closed her eyes and a soft, contented murmur rose from her deep in her throat. Ranma froze. With great difficulty, he swallowed and forced out, "A- Akane?" "Hmm?" she whispered. "Could you...uh...stop purring. Please?" * * * "Left!" "Right." *CLANG* "What'd you do that for?!" "I said left!" "I was agreeing with you!" "You were?" "YES!" "Oh, sorry sugar." "Humph. That's better." Pause. *CLANG* "Now what?!" "You were going right!" "I was not!" "Woof!" "Who asked you?!" "Shut up! Here's the keys, now open the damn door!" Keys were rattled in a lock for a moment, then a door panel slid back to reveal the shape of Ryoga as he entered Ucchan's. On his heels Shirokuro and her puppies followed, delighted to have some place new to explore. Once the lights were on Ukyou appeared, a rather dark expression on her face and a large dent in her battle spatula that bore an uncanny resemblance to the back of Ryoga's head. "Honestly! I didn't realize you were this bad!" "Hey! I couldn't concentrate with you hitting me every time we came to a corner!" "If you hadn't gone in the wrong direction all the time, I wouldn't have kept hitting you! One would think you'd learn! Aversion therapy or something like that!" Still muttering, Ukyou walked past the growling boy and checked her restaurant. Ryoga tried to calm down and looked around at the dogs having a wonderful time poking their noses into every corner they could find. "Uh, Ukyou?" he asked. "Is it all right to let my dogs in here? Aren't there health codes or something?" She shrugged. "Just as long as the place gets a good scrub down tomorrow, before any customers arrive, it'll be fine." "Sorry to make extra work for you," he apologized. "Don't worry sugar," she said, smiling too brightly and giving him a wink as she headed for the stairs. "It won't be any extra work for me." A few minutes later she came back down, now wearing a yukata instead of her normal cooking uniform. Ryoga had settled the dogs down and laid some newspaper out. Ukyou came over and petted them all goodnight, much to the delight of the puppies. Turning the lights off, she motioned Ryoga to the stairs. Seeing her there, the lights from the stairwell shining down on her, Ryoga suddenly felt very nervous. Stiffly he got to his feet and followed her up, eyes on the sway of her hips through the thin robe. Realizing what he was doing, he forced his gaze down to the steps, his face red. By his sides, his hands clenched tight. On the second floor Ukyou reached the door panel of her room and turned to face him. "Well, goodnight." Blankly, Ryoga looked back. "I've laid the stuff out in the guest room," she continued, pointing to the door down the hall. For an instant, he didn't know what to say. Then the tension suddenly fled from him and he smiled in a stupid, relieved manner. She caught his expression and looked him hard in the eye. "And just what were you expecting?" she asked archly. Ryoga turned an impressive colour of red and stumbled back a step, hands waving before him. "N-nothing! Nothing at all! I wasn't expecting that...that..." "Ryoga," she interrupted sternly. "I'm not going to deny what... happened, but we can't fixate only on that. Not if we're going to try and make this... work. We're going to have to go slow; one step at a time. No forcing things along, just take things as they come. Understand?" Sheepishly, Ryoga nodded. He rubbed one hand behind his head, words spilling out. "You're right. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have thought of... well, you know what I'm...I'm sorry, and-" Ukyou watched the poor boy stumble over what appeared to be an apology. Doing shallow, rapid bows, he was a pathetic sight of a once proud man. "I won't think of that again... I promise. I mean, it's not like I was really hoping that we'd... NO! I wasn't hoping that we'd... Not that it wasn't g-... I mean... not that you weren't... I mean..." Watching him make a fool out of himself, Ukyou fought back irritation. Some times the fool was just so bumbling, so pathetic, so hopelessly indecisive. "Oh what the hell," she muttered. Stepping forward she grabbed his head with both hands and kissed him hard. As Ryoga's eyes bugged out, she forced her tongue past his slack mouth and licked over his fangs. She couldn't help herself, they were just so darn cute. Almost as good as his great buns. Ryoga stood there totally stunned, his whole body locked solid yet still managing to tremble slightly. For a long, long moment he was paralyzed till finally something inside him screamed to just do -anything!-, and he softened his muscles. Pushing his lips against hers, he kissed back. His arms were coming up to encircle her slim frame when she flowed away from him like smoke, breaking the kiss but still taking his breath away. Rose highlighting her cheeks, Ukyou opened her door and slipped into her room. "Goodnight," she whispered just before she slid it closed all the way, leaving him to gape after her in the hall. Placing her back against the door, she covered her mouth with both hands, trying to hold herself together. She'd done it. She'd stuck to her position and felt a thrill of accomplishment run through her. It was hard though, she confessed. It was harder than she'd thought it should have been, having the thrill face off against the sharp pang of longing. To hold Ryoga away when something inside her had yearned for him to act like a man. And when that had shown no signs of happening, she said to herself, she'd almost taken the initiative and done something for him. She walked away from the door and sat down by the window, the pane swung slightly open into the night. Leaning against the sill, she rested her head on her arms and stared at her ghostly image looking back at her from the glass. Now what was she going to do now? She didn't know the first thing about relationships, and yet here she had roped Ryoga into one. She still had those slinky night clothes she'd ordered from Nabiki in her closet, and a small shiver ran through her system at the thought of how great she had looked wearing them. If she were to slip into one there was no way that Ryoga could possibly- Ukyou shook her head sharply, staring hard at the translucent image in the window. she told herself firmly. she told her fears. her image stated. She sighed and refocused her eyes, taking in the city beyond her reflection. What did she hope Ryoga could give her and what was it they had they agreed to? She didn't know. Maybe she wanted a little of what she could sense around her, what she saw couples expressing as they waited for their order, what she knew others in the city were sharing right now. Would it really be so bad to find something like that for herself? Would it really be so scary? She sighed again, drinking in the calm of the night and letting her eyes drift over the streets and buildings around her and all the stories they held within them. Then she paused, looked, and blinked. A second later she was on her feet and bolting for the door, kick-ass spatula in hand and a homicidal light shining from her eyes. she thought to herself, taking the stairs three at a time. "And just how did you get by your dogs downstairs?" Ukyou demanded, marching Ryoga back up the stairs at spatula point. "Uh... I don't know," he replied, getting clobbered for his troubles. "No excuses! How dare you make me chase you around in my night clothes! You're just damn lucky I stopped you before you reached the corner. No telling where you could have got yourself lost." "You didn't have to flatten me!" he yelled back. "Why didn't you just shout at me to stop?!" Ukyou punctuated her reply with a none too gentle whap on the head. "Are you questioning me you jackass?! You're lucky I didn't just let you wander off! I've agreed to start seeing you for less then a day, and already you're more trouble then you could possibly be worth!" She followed him into the room and pointed at the futon spread out on the floor. "Now, walk over to that futon -if you can manage that!- and stay there! Tomorrow we'll try another way to deal with that direction missense of your's." "You're not going try hitting me again, are you?" "As much as I'd like to, no. I think we've proven that there's nothing up there to affect." "I'm not that bad!" he yelled at her. She just slid the door shut with a *bang*, and he could hear the sounds of her stomping off to the other room. Then silence descended and Ryoga wondered what it was about women that set them off so. Finally, after a long, futile debate over the subject he calmed himself and rubbed the bruises on the back of his head. The door suddenly opened again and he turned in surprise. Ukyou was standing there giving him a look that would have caused Godzilla to bypass Tokyo, just this once. "Ryoga," she said with deadly calm, "just who's room do you think you're in?" He blinked and looked around, only now noticing the dressing mirror, work desk, chair, and closet full of clothes that marked this as more than a guest room. Then he turned a glare in her direction. "Hey, what's this?!" "It's my room." He looked annoyed. "First you send me to the guest room, and now here! Make up your mind would ya?" Ukyou tossed her spatula away. It was a great weapon, but she really needed both hands free if she was going to rip out his spleen. She crashed into Ryoga and sent them both down to the futon. Although Ukyou fought with savage fury, and dirty, Ryoga eventually grabbed hold of her arms and immobilized them in his powerful grasp. A few minutes of just lying there gave her time to get herself back under control. "Jackass," Ukyou said quietly, glaring at him through the strands of her long hair. Reluctantly he released her and she did not attack him, only swept the tresses out of her face. She looked at him for another moment, then blew out a defeated sigh and grabbed the covers, pulling them up around the two of them. "Uh..." Ryoga stuttered, going red. "I thought...well, you said-" "Listen dope, I've chased you all over the neighbourhood once tonight, I'm tired, and I don't even trust you enough to walk down the hall to your room." She gave him a hard gaze. "Just don't get any funny ideas." Stuttering, Ryoga nodded and pulled up his part of the covers, turning away from her. Ukyou did likewise, leaving them staring out away from the other. They lay there in the silence and darkness for a long time. Through the open window the sound of a train passing could faintly be heard before it faded back into the quiet of the night. Still awake, Ukyou stared out through the window for far longer than the duration of her anger. Finally, she marshalled most of her courage and quietly asked, "Ryoga?" Something that sounded like a muffled grunt answered her. She took a soft swallow and timidly said, "...Thanks." There was more silence for a response, and Ukyou pulled the covers a little tighter around her shoulders. "I just want you to know that since... well... you know... I've...I've actually been pretty happy." "No," she amended quickly. "Not happy per se... just... I don't know... busy I guess. And that's what felt so good. What we did... it broke me out of my routine. Do you realize that for the past few weeks I haven't been at all annoyed when Ran-chan was busy doing something. Hell, I've barely noticed him recently. I've got other things on my mind. It's kind of refreshing to see... well, to be reminded that I've got a life other than just chasing after my fiancé." There was more silence between them, then Ukyou turned over and faced his broad back. "I think maybe I'd forgotten it for a while. Being reminded that I'm *me* was something I think I needed." Ryoga shuffled a little as she fell silent again. A few moments later she leaned in and placed her forehead to the back of his neck as well as a hand between his shoulders. "You know, before we had our little talk today, I don't think I really realized how...how..." Her brows drew together as she though for a moment, and the silent Ryoga, still facing away, slightly shuffled again. "How... lonely I was." Lonely? Had she been lonely? "Yes... damn it all," she said softly. "I never realized how much I put into my okonomiyaki and my... pursuit... of Ran-chan. They were my life. When I met Ran-chan again, I guess I thought I could replace that hunt with his love, but that just never seemed to materialize." Unknowingly, she began to gently rub her hand along his back. "I guess I never noticed how little being one of his fiancées filled the void till something came along and slapped me in the face." The warmth of his skin against her forehead gave her a soothing feeling. Smiling gently, she took a deep breath. "Arigato, Ryoga." He shuffled, still silent. Curious, and a little annoyed, Ukyou raised her head and looked at him. "Ryoga, are you awake?" If he was sleeping while she opened up her heart, first thing tomorrow morning she would enjoy some Western dish that involved bacon. A soft nod saved him, but Ukyou frowned as she looked down at the back of his head, trying to figure out why he was just so darn quiet. "Ryoga?" There was silence. "You've got a nose-bleed, don't you?" she stated matter-of-factly. A choked sob of affirmation was his answer. Instantly furious, Ukyou reached over and crushed his head into a sleeper hold. Putting her whole strength behind the manoeuvre she yanked him close, slamming her mouth to his ear and shouted, "How the hell can you get a nose- bleed from just lying in bed with me, you jackass!!? We've already had sex! *Sex* damn you!" "I don't know!" Ryoga wailed pathetically, trying to stuff Kleenex up his nose and seeming to ignore her attempts at strangulation. "It just started! We got into bed together and it just started!" Ukyou swore something she'd learned from male jr. high P.E. classes and released her hold. Sitting up, she grabbed the tissues from him and began to clean his face. Still glaring at him, she muttered, "Oh yeah, you never let me feel lonely." Ryoga looked up at her, uncertain exactly how to take that comment. "Really?" "Yeah, I'm too busy thinking about killing you to ever feel lonely." She worked silently for a few moments, wiping the last of the blood of his face. Finished, she looked down at him, shaking her head slightly. "Yep, you definitely keep me entertained, sugar. And I guess you're kinda cute too, in a helpless, drenched puppy dog kinda way." Embarrassed, he glanced around the room while she stayed there, hovering just above him. "Ryoga?" He turned back to face her. "Yeah?" "That's called fishing for a compliment." "Oh." Ryoga gulped. "Ah... you're...you're..." "I'm...?" she pressed, wondering if he could get anything out. He struggled, his mouth moving but nothing issuing out. She cocked her head at him. "Ran-chan said I was kawaii," she said, trying to give him a hint. "He *what*?!" Ryoga shouted, startling her. "S-said I was k-kawaii-" "That bastard!" he growled, cutting her off. Ukyou blinked, then glared down and grabbed him by the cheeks. "And just what's so bad about calling me kawaii?" "Because it's not true!" Ryoga snapped back. There was dead silence for a moment as Ukyou's brows drew together dangerously. "And just what do you mean by that?" she asked, her voice dripping venom. "It's-" he began, then suddenly stopped. "It's?" she prompted, glaring. "...not enough." He finished lamely. Ukyou blinked, her anger vanishing suddenly. "Really?" she asked, timidly. Blushing, he tried to say something several times, finally forcing out, "B-because you're... b-b-beautiful." Nothing happened for a moment, then a smile slowly brightened her face. "Thanks," she said tenderly. "I've never had anyone say that to me before." "Well, it's true." Ukyou's anger at his brash action left without even a memory. "That's so sweet," she responded. "Needs a little work on the delivery, but sweet." Leaning down, she lightly kissed his nose. Ryoga's hands twitched and his face burned red as he felt the warmth of her lips, but kept himself still. Eyes closed, Ukyou placed their foreheads together and the two of them stayed there for a long silent moment, neither moving. Ryoga's breathing was hard and laboured as he lay there, all too conscious of her wonderful nearness. Damn, but he wanted to do something and it was not easy to just lay there and follow her wishes. But he didn't care how hard it was, he was not going to mess this up. Slowly, agonizingly, the desire inside him went off somewhere to sulk and his breathing gradually evened out a little. He was still all too aware of her presence, but it slowly allowed a warm feeling to seep through his veins. This, he decided, would be a really nice way to drift off to sleep. If he could actually calm down enough to ever close his eyes that is. It would have been a nice way to get to sleep, except he started as he realized one of her hands was softly drawing circles on his chest. "Uh...U-Ukyou-" "Shush." "But-" "Shhh." The warm breath from the sound played an enticing tickle along his cheek. "But you said-" "Ryoga?" "Y-yeah?" "I'm a girl aren't I?" He paused, not sure what she was getting at. "I'm a girl aren't I?" she asked again, with a little more force behind the words. "Uh... yeah." "Well... hen I can change my mind, can't I?" she asked quietly. Ryoga blinked. He could feel the heat rising from her body as it lay against him. The softness of her words caused his breathing to deepen and all too welcome sensations to come flooding back. Looking up he saw that her eyes were still closed and her face serene and gentle. Gingerly he sat up and gasped her by her shoulders, holding her in a soft embrace as she leaned against him. His heartbeat began to pound and his body react, he looked at the girl snuggling in his arms. "Ukyou... this...this isn't going to make us forget anything." "I know," she responded in a simple, quiet voice. "But I'm not doing this to forget... I want... I guess I want something new to remember. Maybe something better. And like I said, we won't push things, but just take them as they come. I'm...I'm not pushing you... am I?" Ryoga placed his nose against her long hair and breathed her scent in. After a long moment, he closed his eyes and gently shook his head against her shoulder. "Then shut up and act like a man," she whispered into his ear, the hot breath of her words burning him wonderfully. Silence. "Uh... how do I do that?" She thumped him lightly on the chest. Something that might have been a laugh or a muffled scream of outrage escaped her lips. "Just kiss me you jackass." Gulping, he ran his tongue over his lips and twisted his head over, searching for her mouth. For a moment they fumbled, tasting each other's cheeks and bumping noses, then their lips connected and Ukyou moaned softly. As he savoured her sweet taste, Ryoga tightened his embrace around her waist. Slowly Ukyou raised her hands up his chest and grasped the sides of his head, pulling him tighter into another kiss as her tongue reached out and surprised his in its home. Ryoga's chest heaved as she was pulled close, her soft curves compressing against him. Slowly he dragged his mouth from hers, pausing at her gentle tugging bites upon his vacating lips. When she stopped that he continued moving, tracing her chin and down her neck. Ukyou arched her head back, presenting her throat towards his lips. Ryoga moved upon the smooth, white skin, delicately kissing as she began to tremble ever so slightly. Still holding his head, Ukyou held onto him as he tenderly explored her vulnerable neck, his touch sending wonderful shivers running alongside her hot blood. Rolling her head, she finally pulled his face back up and brought their mouths together again. This time she taunted his tongue, coaxing it out to play with her own, each fighting for the right to enter the other's mouth. Her moans were lost as a deep based rumble rose from his chest. Caressing her hands down the sides of his face, she traced over his neck and onto his thin undershirt. She could feel the hard muscles that existed underneath it and began to tug at the shirt impotently. Unable to remove it as they were and with her mouth otherwise occupied, Ukyou began to whine unhappily. The sound caused Ryoga to shudder, and filled him with a desire to do anything she wished. With difficulty he pulled his lips from hers, eliciting another petulant whine from her, as if she wanted both yearnings filled this instant. Releasing his grip from her slim waist Ryoga grabbed his shirt and tried to pull it over his head, finding that difficult to do with Ukyou snuggling up against him affectionately and clawing playfully at his arms while she nipped at his cheeks. "Hey!" he snapped at the overly affectionate female clingingly tightly to him. "Which do you want: to keep doing this, or me to get my shirt off?" "Both," Ukyou replied, only getting more aggressive. With effort far out of proportion to the activity, Ryoga finally got his shirt off, tossing it aside as Ukyou slowly lowered her head from his chin. Her warm kisses flowing over his neck, then down onto his bared chest. As Ukyou rubbed her petite nose against his pectorals, he sat back and let her do as she would. Her hands pressed gently into his hard muscles as she touched all of his naked torso, her warm mouth following behind. She travelled over the whole of his chest while Ryoga sat there, letting her control the motion, the tempo of the survey. The warmth from the contact left him feeling powerless and she kissed up his left shoulder then seductively down his back, dragging her left palm and fingers across his chest after her. Behind him now, she encircled his body with her arms, gently playing with his small nipples while her face wormed into the small of his back. Still dazed, he moaned passively as she continued her tour, taking time to enjoy his wonderfully broad shoulders and firm muscles. His chest heaved under the gentle embrace of her fingers, and around back she lowered her head all the way to the line of his pants. Still at that level, she crawled seductively beneath his right arm till she was wrapped around his flank. Kissing his belly-button, her nostrils flared as she could smell a wonderfully scary, earthy sent rising from nearby. Closing her eyes she shivered for a second, then slowly resumed her trek across him. Working her way back up, she wormed back into his lap and draped herself against him. Looking into his glassy eyed expression, Ukyou couldn't help but feel a hot rush shoot through herself. She gave him a lingering kiss as she arrived. Warmly woken from his stupor by such treatment, Ryoga groaned as his arms came up to enfold her once again. The soft fabric of her yukata was wonderful beneath his fingers, but he found such things could only come between them. Rising his hands through her hair, he caressed her long tresses, then settled his fingers on her shoulders. Grasping the fabric of her robe, he tugged out and down, pulling the two parts away from each other. The gap in the front of her robe spread wider as he pulled, and after a second the top slipped off her shoulders. A little surprised at herself, Ukyou brought her arms up to hold the robe half to her, leaving her shoulders bare but allowing a sense of modesty. It failed as her half-dressed state only caused Ryoga's breathing to take on a more ragged edge to it as he looked at her. With a trembling hand he swept her hair from her shoulders and put his fingers on the creamy skin. Feeling him touch her directly, Ukyou closed her eyes. Hands she knew could break her in two were almost timidly gentle as they traced over her shoulders and breastbone. Slowly they travelled up the rise of her partially hidden breasts, and her breath started to quicken with anticipation. Reaching the edge of the cloth, he hooked his fingers in and continued to pull down. Not sure why she would want to, Ukyou meekly resisted his efforts with her crossed arms, but his pull was inexorable. With the soft whisper of silk he pulled her robe down from her torso. His eyes staring at the beautiful curves that defined her body, he swallowed once and his nostrils flared. For an instant she was afraid he'd start gushing blood and how that would certainly wreck the mood, but slowly he raised his eyes to look into hers with a burning expression. As they stared at each other for a moment, Ukyou could feel the sweet tension of desire flare in her body. "Think your nose'll hold?" she asked quietly, teasing. One hand flashed up to his face instinctively. Finding everything OK, he looked a little annoyed. "Did you have to bring that up?" he replied huskily. Reaching out with one arm, he grasped the back of her waist and pulled her to him in a sharp motion. Before their bodies crashed together he brought the other hand up so it was filled with her left breast as their chests collided. Any noise she might have made was drown out as their lips met in a forceful kiss. As his hand began to gently squeeze her captured breast, her arms rose to slip along his flanks and help hold them together. They deepened their kiss as Ukyou began to rock against him, driving her free breast against him while he fondled her other one. The pressure from this was shoving her hard nipples back against her body, and the feeling was an ectatic mixture of pain and pleasure. Moaning into his tongue she pushed against him harder, wanting more of it. Breaking their kiss, they began to nip at each other's lips, taking short passionate kisses intermixed with desperately needed groaning. Ryoga ran the hand behind her back down into the folds of her robe and over her panty-clad rear. Ukyou grunted and lowered her head to his shoulder, giving him a love bite as he forcefully rubbed his cheek against her hair. "You're pretty aggressive now," Ukyou noted, moaning into his shoulder. He paused in surprise realizing she was right. Ukyou used that momentary lapse to continue the attack. "I... it's like in a fight; I just can't control myself after a point," he moaned back as she rubbed his flank sensuously. "Don't apologize... I like it." Using his hand against her chest, Ryoga pushed her away as she sought to cling tightly to him. She gave up her attempt when he used his other hand to take her free breast and began to caress both together. She whimpered as he gently explored all over her chest, his fingers stroking the skin as well as gently touching her nipples. It felt so good having him do this, always in wonder about what he'd do next. Pulling hard on his back, Ukyou tried to smother him against herself, only wanting more of what he was giving. Ryoga resisted her efforts, keeping her just far enough away for him to get what he wanted. Finally she had enough. Reversing her actions, she grabbed his shoulders and pushed. Taken by surprise he fell backwards, drawing her along with him. Lying on top she scooted down and attacked his mouth with hers, rubbing against him with the help of gravity. Ryoga groaned and shifted beneath her, trying to find a position that would relieve the uncomfortable pressure in his pants. While he squirmed he moved his hands to her back and over her flanks, following the curves as they rose and fell beneath his fingers. Ukyou savoured the sensations as she ran her hands over his chest, and occasionally up to stroke her own breasts when she could. Shifting her weight, she felt something hard press against her as he writhed beneath her, and could not help but shiver. Kicking her legs to free them from the tangle of robe and blanket, she rose away and hunched over him. She looked down at the boy beneath her and licked her lips nervously. Breathing heavily Ryoga stared back, slowly reaching for her. Noticing her hesitation he paused as well, confused. Understanding came to him in a flash and he would have gone red had he not already been flushed. "Uh-" he began. Overcoming her hesitation, she reached down and kissed him lightly. "Come on," she whispered when they had their breath back. "Let's get to it." "I-if it's all right with you," he stammered, longing but nervous. "Hey," she said, exasperated, "I'm the one who's suppose to require encouragement." Grinning as he spluttered, she traced her hands slowly down his chest to his waist. Undoing his pants got a sudden expulsion of air from him in reply. Ukyou tugged at his trousers, pulling them down off his hips and down his legs. Finally she got them off his body and indiscriminately tossed them into a corner somewhere. Ryoga's hands reached for his underpants but she slapped at the offending appendages until they were withdrawn. "Mine," she declared, grinning. Taking hold, she eased the garment down as he raised his hips to help. They slipped off and Ryoga sighed as his erect penis was freed, relieving the uncomfortable feeling he'd been experiencing. Ukyou blushed as she stared down through the shadows at the man before her. "Wow," she breathed before she could stop herself. Realizing what she'd said, she glanced up at his face and looked embarrassed. "Sorry, it's just that when it's...it's just so different from the other's I've seen." Ryoga nodded, both thrilled and embarrassed with her watching him, then suddenly started in surprise. "What others?" he demanded. Ukyou shrugged casually. "I did go to a boy's jr. high. P.E. class and all that." Ryoga stared at her in amazement. "You mean you changed in the boy's locker room?" "I had to be a little careful, but yeah, I had to go in there or somebody might get suspicious." "And they never noticed you were a girl?" he asked, incredulous. "Ryoga, you use the public baths don't you?" "Yeah, what's that got to do with it?" "You ever look while the other guys are changing?" "NO!" he shouted. She grinned. "Well, neither did my classmates." While he sputtered, she resumed her tugging and pulled the boxers off his muscular legs. Once they were gone, she ran her fingers up the inside of his legs till she neared his pelvis. Rolling out to the top of his leg, she brushed over his member with a feather- light touch. Ryoga groaned softly at the contact, the noise getting louder as her fingers came back and gently enfolded his erect manhood. Gently, she ran her hand down to his body and scrotum. Softly stroking, Ukyou rubbed it for a moment, then travelled back up his length, tightening her grip slightly. A long, low groan rumbled from his chest as her hand encircled him and muscles clenched in response. Ukyou ran her fingers up to the head of his manhood, a euphoric feeling coursing through her as she watched him react to her actions. Smiling down at him she kept up her actions, listening to him groan. Ryoga suffered the pleasure of her activity for what seemed too short an eternity. The pressure slowly built up in waves of pleasure till he just had to act himself. With a new groan, he pulled himself up and wrapped her in his arms. Their bodies pressed tightly, he leaned down and kissed her, grimacing slightly as she gave him a quick squeeze in reply. Pushing, Ryoga eased them both down to the futon. Reluctantly he grabbed her hand and pulled it away. Letting go of her wrist, he travelled up her slim, muscular arm to her shoulder. Running it down her front he covered her breast, caressing it softly. After stroking the skin for a moment, he moved the hand down her ribs to her flat tummy. While squirming in his arms, she reached down and started to shove on her panties, wanting them off. The tight fabric clung stubbornly to her figure and Ryoga's hands reached down and covered hers. Together they shoved the gauzy undergarment down her legs. Once down as far as he could reach, Ryoga brought his hands back up her curving thigh. Ukyou whimpered into his neck as he settled his hand along her hip. Carefully he traced inward on her leg, the girl in his arms starting to breath heavily. She moved her legs as far apart as she could, but her panties were bunched up at the knees keeping her somewhat entrapped. Gulping, Ryoga traced upwards, his fingers brushing over her outer lips. Ukyou mmmhhhed at the contact, then again as he probed further in and skimmed her inner folds. Gently he pushed his hand against her, flowing to her entrance which was so moist and warm. She reached a small hand over to his and covered it as he gently rubbed her. Rolling her hips, she savoured the strange feeling of presence that he provided her. Getting his hand into motion he eased into her warm entrance, shivering at how her body could be so yielding yet still maintain a strong grip on him. Ukyou's swallow breath echoed in his ear as her hand slowly helped push his invading fingers inside her. Pulling back, he groaned into her hair as he felt how damp and excited she was. Trailing a path of her honey, she moved his fingers up from her vagina and under her clitoris' protective hood. Ukyou jacked slightly when he did that, her body rocking against him. He circled around her sex repeatedly, listening to her gasp and moan and rock against him as he did so. Her rocking gently rubbed against his member, keeping him excited and hard. Her heart pounding fiercely, Ukyou squeezed his hand against her once more, then reluctantly rolled away from him. Facing away, she bent over and shoved her panties down off her legs and kicked them aside. Before she could turn back, Ryoga slid across the futon and grabbed her from behind, one hand around her waist, the other fondling her breast. She could feel his member pressing hard against the curve of her ass as he rocked against her back. After a few moments his hand reached down, hooked under her knee and pulled the leg up. Keeping her leg held with his elbow, he brushed a hand over her exposed inner thighs. Ukyou grimaced as his fingers gently flowed over her wet sex, while his other hand moved to caress across her waist. Turning her head, she butted up against him till he moved to give her a desperate kiss. Moaning into his lips, she used one hand to reach between her legs and grab his member. Ryoga grunted in reply and twisted his body, allowing his erect penis to slip out from behind her. She shivered violently in his arms, more noises struggling to come from her throat. Tugging imperatively, she tried to move his waiting manhood to her eager body. Her aim was off a little and the head slid along the front of her entrance, dragging across her button. Even while moaning from the results, she reaimed him and tried to push herself back. Breaking their kiss, Ryoga tightened his grip on her leg and slowly eased his hips forward. Slowly his member forced Ukyou's petals apart, and warmth engulfed his head as it pushed inside. Grunting, Ryoga pulled back and propelled his hips forwards again, pushing against her soft resistance. More of him went in this time, Ukyou whimpering as he eased in slowly. They rocked several more times, 'till Ryoga reached the end of an in stroke and found his pelvis pressed hard against her ass. The feeling as her body gripped him so tightly was as wild as it was passionate. Pulling back a little, he thrust forward again and again. For a few moments the sex was rough and disjointed as they crashed against each other unevenly. Ukyou grimaced sharply, and he stopped. "You OK?" he asked, concerned. "Yeah, but slow it down for a moment. Just take it easy sugar." She slowly rolled her hips back into him as Ryoga gently eased forwards. "Yeah," she purred as they gently pulled away, then together as his hot and thick member slid deeply into her. "Just like that." Slowly they eased themselves into a rhythm as he drove inside her. Her hands clutching at the futon sheet, she bunched up the fabric as he continued to push into her. Still holding her leg away from her body, Ryoga gripped her harder, the sweat from their two bodies making his grip on tricky. Still thrusting, he raised his hand from stroking her breast to caress her cheek. Feeling something touching her, Ukyou turned towards the sensation. Eyes closed as passion worked inside her, she grabbed his fingers in her teeth and started to suck greedily on them. Seeing her do that got a whimper out of Ryoga; the sight drove the sensations he was experiencing even higher. Rocking his pelvis against her firm ass, Ryoga drove deep into her vagina, loving each and every motion from the two of them. Rapidly, each stroke increased the pressure he was feeling in the centre of his manhood. Nearing the edge, he slowed down for several strokes, trying to drag the sensation out for as long as he could. Ukyou whimpered at the change in tempo and reluctantly he pulled his fingers from her mouth. She sucked on them for as long as she could, then shivered as he dragged them down her cheek and neck. Grimacing, he pulled himself out of her with a soft pop. Annoyed, Ukyou looked over her shoulder at him. "You're not done yet?!" she snapped. "No, I'm not," Ryoga growled. He took her shoulder and pushed her on her back. For an instant he looked down as she lay there: breasts heaving with her laboured breathing, skin shining with a sweaty sheen, her eyes bright and staring. Looking at the beauty of her curves gave him a shot of desire so sweet he could almost taste it. Reaching in, he settled himself amongst her long limbs and placed himself above her. As her arms wrapped about his shoulders and pulled him close, he aimed his member and slid it through her wet entrance and back inside once again. It took a few moments of chaotic thrusting before they recovered their rhythm. Careful to keep his weight firmly on his elbows, Ryoga half embraced her as he began to speed up his lunges. She was so warm and so tight, her body yielding just enough to hold him a wonderfully slippery grip. Ukyou pulled his head down and attacked his lips with hers, finding it hard to think when she ground her sensitive pelvis into his wonderfully hard body. Arching her back, she pressed as much of herself up into him as she could. Thrusting hard and evenly, Ryoga kept up the rhythm as he felt himself get closer and closer. It was so close to the edge, and Ukyou's soft whimpering was wonderful to his ears. Slowly his control became unmaintainable, and all of a sudden the feeling of pressure turned painful. He knew he was about to come; he bucked wildly and pistoned into her savagely. With a resounding groan his final restraint was torn away and he shoved into her deeply, his manhood spurting inside her body. Locked together tightly, he held still as his penis continued to spurt, releasing his seed. Heart pounding, he gave a few disjointed lunges to milk the sensation for all he could. Leaning heavily onto her, he slowed his thrusting to nothing. Ukyou squealed in frustration, reminding him that things were not quite finished yet. Getting back into motion, he started giving several more thrusts with his hips as he worked solely on her. Driven by this last frantic thrusting, Ukyou shoved up as he pushed up into her, letting the feelings engulf the emotions already present. With a loud cry, Ukyou pushed herself against him and clenched all muscles tight as she orgasmed. Ryoga held on as she shuddered wildly in his grasp. Keeping his thrusts even and deep, he rode out her reaction as her breathing slowly changed from the loud cries of ecstacy to the slower, laboured heaving as the feeling burned down along her nerves. With a sudden powerful sigh, she let her muscles go and fell limp in his arms. Ukyou lay there exhausted for a few moments, loving the way the fire slowly tapered away rather than just dying. Opening her eyes she looked up and smiled at Ryoga, raising a hand to casually stroke through his damp hair. "Hmm," she intoned lazily. "I just don't understand it." "Don't understand what?" he asked, reluctantly easing out of her body. A soft unprotesting whimper from her lips delayed reply. Limply she reached over and grasped the blanket, trying to straighten it out from their activities. Eventually she gave up and draped it over them while she snuggled up against Ryoga. Still a little confused, he reciprocated till they were nestled together. "You," she replied, yawning into his cheek. "How a jackass like yourself can get lost walking a straight line yet you find your way around a girl's body so well." * * * "So did you finish everything?" Akane asked, sounding a little irritated. "Yeah, yeah," Ranma casually replied, walking along the fence with practiced nonchalance. "You don't have to keep bugging me 'bout it." "Ranma, who had to remind you that we had an assignment due today?" "Hey! I had... other things on my mind last night," he admitted lamely. "So did I," she returned testily, "but at least I finished my homework early, so that *I* didn't have to suddenly run off when I remembered I had work to do!" "You think I wanted to?! I hate homework, but *someone* told me to go do it." "Oh so it's my fault?" she returned. "I offered to help you earlier, but you were busy fighting with your dad." "Like I had any choice there; Oyaji doesn't take no for an answer. Besides, you could have helped me after!" "I had something else on my mind!" Ranma jumped down in front of Akane and smirked at her. "And it didn't involve you, you perverted freak!" she replied, taking a swing at him as he skipped away. "So you say." "And I say it's dumb!" Akane stopped from smacking Ranma when they heard that comment. Both looked around, trying to figure out there the new voice was coming from. "Have you got a better idea?" another voice replied, sounding slightly amused. "Anything is better than this!" the first wailed. "That sounds like Ryoga-kun," Akane said, looking around. "Well then maybe it'll help fix your problem!" the second voice countered, no longer amused. Ranma blinked in surprise. "Isn't that Ukyou?" For an answer, Ukyou stepped into sight from behind an alley wall. She didn't see Ranma or Akane since her attention was solely directed towards something trailing her. While she had her bookbag in one hand, the other was filled with the end of some kind of rope. "Come on!" the voice of Ryoga whined. "This is embarrassing!" "Shut up!" Ukyou replied, tugging hard on the rope which caused Ryoga to stumble into sight of the other two, his face blazing red. Akane and Ranma stared in amazement; the rope Ukyou carried was really the end of a leash that snaked between the two new arrivals. The other end was connected to a dog collar which firmly encircled Ryoga's neck. Ukyou gave it another sharp tug. "Is this really necessary?!" Bandanna boy wailed. "You rather I go back to hitting you?" Ukyou returned. "NO!" "Well, I can't watch you all the time, and this is the only way I can think of to keep you from getting lost!" "There has to be a better way than using Shirokuro's leash!" "If you hadn't wandered away while I was getting breakfast ready, I might have agreed with you!" "Come on, get this damn thing off me!" "Shut up or I'll leave you tied to a tree while I'm in school!" With their friends too busy arguing to notice them, Ranma and Akane stared at the pair in shock. Stunned, they turned and gaped at each other, then back to the other two. "What if someone sees me like this!?" "Maybe it'll be an incentive for you to get some navigational skills!" Ukyou replied. "Uh... O-ohayo," Akane began hesitantly. The two newcomers turned from their argument and looked startled at seeing someone else present. "A-A-Akane-san," Ryoga said, rubbing the back of his head uneasily. "N-nice to see you this m-morning." "R-Ran-chan," Ukyou stuttered, suddenly fidgeting over her boy's uniform. "Hey, uh...nice day isn't it?" They both grinned nervously, almost as if there was something they were uncomfortable with. Ranma stared at Ryoga for a moment, then turned to face Akane. "Akane, I really do have to apologize." "W-what?" Akane asked, Ranma's sudden and unexpected apology getting her whole attention. Ranma grinned. "Over saying that you're jealous. That," he said, motioning to the other pair, "really proves who's on a short leash." Both Ukyou and Ryoga looked blank for a long moment, wondering what he was talking about. Then, at exactly the same instant, their gaze fell on the item that bound them together. Ukyou snatched her hand away as if the rope suddenly burned. Beside her, Ryoga went blazing red and grabbed the collar. With a single tug he tore it from his neck and threw it aside. "Uh, I... she... we..." "I... we... I was... you know... trying to... come up with a way to solve his problems with directions." "Awe forget it," Ranma said casually. "I've known Ryoga for too long, and I say his problems are unsolvable." Beside him, Akane had turned from him and dug into her school bag to remove a single scrap of cloth. "He's just one of those cosmically unlucky guys," Ranma continued while Akane walked towards Ryoga. "Nothing ever goes his way." Stopping before Ryoga, Akane held up the piece of fabric for inspection. With an unreadable expression she watched his face. "Is this your's?" "Uh, yeah, thanks Akane-san," Ryoga replied, reaching for the bandanna. "I'm always losing these things." Akane's expression didn't waver in the slightest. "Actually Ryoga-kun, this was P-chan's." A wind blew by then, the flutter of clothing the only sign of movement from the small crowd. Akane's face was still locked in that unreadable expression, while everyone around her was displaying unmistakable horror. Ranma finally recovered, his gaze flashing over to Akane. She hadn't moved, apparently waiting for some kind of answer. Ryoga looked devastated, his world having come crashing down around his feet in smoking ash. Ukyou stared at him fearfully, an icy shard plunged into her chest as she watched. With great effort, Ryoga pulled himself back to reality. He wanted to run, to flee this horror, but some small part of him wouldn't allow him the easy way out. Not this time. Heart pounding in his chest, he forced himself to stand still and face what he had coming. "A...Akane-san," he began. "I...I..." "It's true, isn't it?" she demanded. "...H...hai..." "Why didn't you ever tell me?" she asked in a controlled, even voice. "I...I wanted to..." "But instead you let me go on thinking nothing was amiss. You let me think that...that P-chan was my pet; so when I finally found out it would be even more a shock." "Akane..." "You should have told me," she continued mercilessly. Ranma gulped and took a step forward. "Really now, it's not all Ryoga's fault." He grimaced as she turned to face him. "I...I kinda knew all along." "And you never said anything?" She glared at him. "How could you?" Ryoga closed his eyes and stood there silently as emotions tore through him. Ukyou took a nervous step towards him, her own heart sore as she watched him suffer. She wanted to reach out, but couldn't; words lodged painfully in her tight chest. Could she even help? She knew the pain of the loss of the one she loved would be too much for her to bear right now, could it be any different for Ryoga? Akane turned her gaze back to Ryoga and stared at him for a hard, long moment. "Did you think I'd never find out?" she asked. All he could do in reply was hang his head in shame. For awhile she watched him, then sighed and closed her eyes tiredly. "Ryoga-kun, I think it would have been better for all of us if you'd come out and told me the truth." She looked up at him firmly. "Don't you think so?" "I...I...yes. You're right." He forced himself to look once more into Akane's entrancing eyes, knowing even as he did so that a life for him was over. "You're right... I'm... all I can say is I'm sorry, Akane-san." She looked into his expression like she was searching for the sincerity which was truly present. "I still can't believe you never told me," she continued. "I thought I knew you, but I never could have imagined this. Not even after all you've done." "Akane-san..." She locked a stern glance on him. "I...I...I'm sorry..." Akane shook her head again and brought up the bandanna to eye level. "I suppose in a way it's my fault as well. I can't believe I never noticed this before. And you really should have said something Ranma," she directed towards her fiance. He put his hands up before himself and backed away a step. "Well... I... you see... I didn't really want to-" "Ranma!" She shook the fist that held the bandanna at him. "I can't believe you! You know I'd never have kept him if I knew the truth! You've always hated him so, how come you never told me that P-chan was really Ryoga- kun's pet!?" KA-THUNK (x3) Akane blinked. "Guys? What's wrong? Was it something I said?" [fin] ------------- [Author's deranged ramblings] And with that dear reader, we leave them to deal with their own problems. I'd just to say that Akane isn't stupid. In fact she's one of the smarter people in the series (of course, intelligence in Ranma is much like sanity in Evangelion: when you're up against competition like that, it's not hard to be ahead of the crowd). However, in the interests of a running gag, the inability of P-chan's true identity to come out was more important than any poor attempt at reality. I firmly believe that the fun I get torturing Ryoga far outweighs any soul searching that would come out of his discovery. After all, you can only kill someone once... but you can torture them for eternity. I'm still working on writing the deeper thoughts of characters, one reason why this one is so full of people wondering about what they're doing. I realize that some of the ideas expressed in this partially contradicts how determined Ukyou was in her cameo in Vol 2. part 3, but indecision and self-doubt is just so much more fun. Gomen. The package Akane's carrying in the early part is from Vol 3, part 1. Read that and you'll understand why she wasn't eager to show it off. The 'fight' Akane and Shampoo got into was from Vol 1, part 2. Perhaps the one idea I've been the most ashamed to ever have written, I have nonetheless managed to get so much milage out of that one concept that it scares me. Having Ukyou and Ryoga go to his house to talk was purely there so I could get Ukyou to dress up in one of Ryoga's undershirts. Don't know why, but I find girls wearing their boyfriend's shirts to be one of the cutest things in the universe. (See manga Vol. 31 cover, Viz vol. 8 cover, or Akane when she's wearing Ranma's clothes as in the Shampoo's soap story or the final manga story respectively.) The Ranma/Akane thing in the dojo was mainly to show that they are interacting as a couple (abet still a confused couple) rather than just two kids listening to their hormones. That and the purring joke. As for Shampoo and Mousse... well, they've got a long way to go, but she's slowly being worn down by him. After all, as all true Takahashi fans know: jealousy is the first step to a true and solid relationship. No Akari or Konatsu in this series because I wrote the first Ukyou/Ryoga pairing before I'd ever seen the mangas where they arrive. I decided not to use them because while Ryoga and Akari make a cute couple, Ryoga and Ukyou are a far cuter and far funnier pair. And I think the last thing Ukyou needs in her life is another person who suffers from gender indecision. Now, just to show that I have no idea over what I'm doing, here's a list of the in-jokes in this episode, in order of appearance. Ah Megamisama (Oh My Goddess) DNA squared Baywatch (man I hate that show, and no, I don't watch it) Xena: Warrior Princess El Hazzard Street Fighter II Alpha (I'll give you this one because there's an in-joke in the in-joke. The character Sakura who Akane spars against is from SF II Alpha. The line about her becoming a Shinto Priestess is there because in my anime club we noticed that just about every second girl with the name Sakura is a Shinto priestess (UY, Blue Seed, etc). It's a running gag in our club.) The Hitch Hikers Guide to the Galaxy Tenchi Myou Marmalade Boy Evangelion Despite what one reviewer once wrote about while praising one of my earlier works, I actually do like Ukyou. She's my third favourite Ranma girl and a definite (although impossible) second in the running for Ranma's heart. It just takes a little more effort to write her properly, thus she hasn't been around as much as some fans would have liked. I hope this ending episode will tide you rabid Ukyou-philes over. ^_^ Yes, this is the final episode of 'Ranma .05.' There are several reasons why I'm not writing any more of these: the simplest is that I don't think I can keep up the good work I've been doing on this series. It takes a lot to write something like this, and I recognize that I can't keep bringing out the jokes and situations as easily as I once did. The well is slowly running dry. Along with that, I've written ten lemons and to be blunt, I'm getting tired of it. Not that there's anything wrong with a well-scripted lemon, it's just that I would like a bit more variety. And finally, I'm following the famous show-biz line, 'always leave them wanting more.' (Oh course, in scripting lemons I'm violating another cardinal rule: 'write about what you know.' But that's probably more information than you really wanted to know, isn't it? ^_^) Many people have asked for a Kasumi lemon, and a few requested one featuring Kodachi. The reasons why I never wrote a fic centring on either character are simple. For Kasumi, I could never come up with a believable reason for her to have sex. One key element for this series was the (marginally) believable reasons that drove the characters. I have to believe that the character would do something before I'm willing to write it down. Because of that, I could never come up with a realistic reason for Kasumi to get intimate with Tofu-sensei (and I wouldn't stick her with anyone else, I have my own form of pride... abet twisted and warped). I could have written a multi- part story where they slowly developed a relationship and moved on to the intimacy... but I've found that I suck at writing multi-part stories. As for Kodachi... well... to be honest, I'm not into what I think an intimate moment with her would include. While I enjoyed reading the well done 'Red Shoe Kasumi,' it confirmed my belief that I'm *never* going to do an S&M or bondage lemon. (Just watching one episode of 'The Sorcerer Hunters' fills my whips, chains, and bondage quotient for the whole year.) One final note: with this, I have finished writing ten lemons without once referring to the word 'throbbing.' Truly an achievement of epic proportions. ^_^ There are many people I'd like to thank. These are the people who have, over the past few years helped me in some way with this series. Everybody who ever read the series or wrote to me about it (good or bad) has in some way helped me strive to make 'Ranma .05' better and better. I'd like to thank you all, but I simply don't know most of you. So I'll just thank those I can: James Stone: It was he who originally showed that a lemon could be written with a plot attached and no one would be the wiser. Tory, Alex, Nathan, Brian: for trying to corrupt me into the evil that is MUCKing. To this day however, I remain (im)pure. Brian especially kept saying 'I'll get into your author's notes someday.' Well, you did, but not for any great work of insight. You just bugged me long enough. The Banzai Anime Klub of Alberta (BAKA): my anime club that includes such wonderful people like Richard, Brad, Dan, Karen, and others. Thanks for years of anime. And for keeping me from getting a life. Jeff Cao and Wade Tritschler: for writing 'I Thought We Were Rivals' and 'Odd Outcome' respectively. These are both blatant copies of an idea I came up with in 'Ranma .05.' While I'm not saying they shouldn't have been written, I would have at least like to have been consulted/informed. Parody of a work is fine, but informing an author that you plan to steal shamelessly from their labour of love is just a standard decency. (I'm joking. ^_^) Still, authors would like to hear if you plan to do something like that. Sarah Plummer: for being the only fan who ever sent me a joke worthy enough for her to be given status as an honourary hordesperson. The fan (name long since forgotten I'm sorry to say) who wrote a letter to me after reading Vol 2, Part 2 to say: "I read your joke about Ryoga getting lost on Dune and laughed so hard I spit coffee all over my computer. If it stops working I'm going to send you the bill." It is without doubt the funniest e-mail I've ever gotten. (And luckily, I've never gotten the bill.) Taleswapper: for continuously finding something worthwhile to say about this series and my stand alone story 'Acceptance.' Thank you for helping me get over some dark days when I almost stopped writing. The Horde O' Hentai: the greatest group of friends who have ever been denied a day pass from the institution. They were never too busy to spare a moment to remind me that my work sucks before it's undergone 'goof-reading.' Lee (Grey Wolf): for having the skill and desire to post these stories to the net and to selfishly devote part of his web page to archiving these stories. Rob (Barbarian): who always made sure I suffered, thus ensuring my success as a writer. Craig (Dr. Ruminahui): For all he's ever done, and all he keeps threatening to do to me. Takahashi Rumiko: I've said it before and I'll say it again: we're not worthy! We're not worthy! And you, the fans: after all, the only real reason to write a fan-fic is for fun. If it's fun to write and it's fun to read, then all are happy and I've done my deed. ^_^ Horde O' Hentai Archive at: www.worldgate.com/~greywolf Mail: ddemaine@ualberta.ca or greywolf@worldgate.ca And so, I leave you with the battle cry of the Horde O' Hentai ringing in your ears: "Don't go there son!" Darren Demaine Chairman of the Horde Horde O' Hentai Productions