Ranma .05 :Vol 2, Part 2
                      Are You a Man, Or Aren't You?

***Warning:  The staff and mismanagement of Horde O' Hentai
Productions takes no credit for any misuse (intentional or
otherwise) involving the scenes of explicit sex and/or bad jokes
present in this fan-fic.***


Author's Notes:

Produced by: Horde O' Hentai Productions, Literature Division
      Darren Demaine: Chairman of the Horde, Flounder
      Lee (Grey Wolf): Lead Fuzzy, Pun Minister
      Rob (Barbarian): P.U. Officer, Moral Corruptor
Series Concept: Darren Demaine
Written by: Darren Demaine (Chief Engineer, Soyokaze;
                      Violence Jack's body double;
                      Scientific Consultant: Gunbuster)
Based on ideas that crawled out the dark and twisted mind of the
one and only: Takahashi Rumiko-no-gamisama

      Ok people, you wanted to see Ukyou in this series, and here
you go.  I hope you're satisfied, cause I don't have any more ideas
for her right now.  I'm sure I'll throw up, (sorry) THINK UP
something to do with her later, but for now my main problem is
trying to come up with a situation involving Shampoo.
      When I began to think about this episode (about 4 months
before I actually wrote it) I was worried that I wouldn't have
enough preamble before I got to the naughty bits.  I kept the idea
bouncing around in my head for that time, adding to it, working on
it, and all around improving it.  When I actually sat down and
typed it out, I was shocked to see that I had TEN PAGES of dialogue
and situation before the sex.  In this case, wwwaaayyy too much of
a good thing.
      Most of my mail is surprisingly uncritical and positive to my
work.  All I can say is HA AHAHAHAHA!  I AM A GENIUS!! (insert
sound of friends beating humility back into me)  Honestly, thanks
for the appreciation.  Your feedback really does mean a lot to me.
      A few have suggested that I look at actual dojinshi to get a
different slant on my style.  Others have suggested a more,
ah...let's just say _interesting_ pairing of characters and use of
household items.  For those people, sorry, but strange as it
sounds, I'd like to paraphrase one of the people who sent me mail: 
["This is the only H-story I've seen with a PLOT."]  I actually do
care what happens to characters in this, as it will affect future
stories.  (Enough people have been bugging me to do an all out,
Ranma-chan=Kuno story, so that may, someday, possibly, see the
light of day.)  As it stands now however, I'm just going through
the couples in the series (Akane=Ranma, Ukyou=Ryoga,
Shampoo=Mousse, Nabiki=Kuno, Kodachi=[I don't want to know]) with
the occasional side story if I think of it.  Also, the bit of
bondage you see in this is about the extent of what I will put in
for sexual weirdness. (At least until Kodachi arrives.)
      Like I said in Vol 2, Part 1; I am working on a non-lemon
story.  It's working title is Ranma 1/100th, and I have no idea
when it's coming out.  Just look for it if you like my stuff.  If
you insist on a hint, it involves the girls having to save the
guys' butts.
      As always, I am willing to listen to the cries of adulation
from my adoring fans, or the screams that I will burn in hell from
my detractors.  If either (or both) apply to you, leave some mail
for me at the address of my postmaster Grey Wolf at
[greywolf@ffarm.ampr.ab.ca]  and know that once again, I am not
the fuzzy one himself.  He is just kind enough to lend me the use
of his address.
-----------------------------------------------------------------
On with the show:

      Running a washcloth over the spotless counter, Ukyou happily
hummed to herself.  She was wearing the traditional garb of the
great okonomiyaki chefs; with the tight pants and kimono-like
tunic.  The top was held back by bow-tied straps, freeing her
sleeveless arms for uninterrupted action; while a white bow on her
head kept her long hair back.  The dinner-hour rush was finally
over, and it had been a good day; from the time she had gotten home
from school till the last customer left a few minutes ago.  The
whole business day had been another record-breaker for her and her
masterful preparation of okonomiyaki.
      It was tough, exhausting work, she acknowledged, but the pride
she got from her superb control over the food was thanks enough. 
And if everything went well today, there would be even more things
to make her pleased with herself.
      "Hey, U-chan!  Anything left for me?"  Ukyou looked up at the
speaker with unconcealed joy.
      "Of course Ran-chan!  I wouldn't forget about the snack I
promised you."  Ukyou smiled cutely as Ranma-chan walked in, her
red hair brushing the sign above the door, dressed in her
sleeveless white kung fu shirt and pants.  The smile faded somewhat
when she saw that Akane followed Ranma in.  <Don't trust me alone
with Ran-chan, do you Akane-chan?> Ukyou thought as she grinned
disarmingly at Akane; the best way to annoy the Tendo girl.
      Ran-chan flopped down into a seat, an eager look on her face. 
"Where is it?  Where is it?"  she asked, looking at the empty
heating grill excitedly.
      Ukyou smiled sweetly at Ranma's enthusiasm.  "Just a minute
Ran-chan.  I have to cook it first; you don't want to eat it cold
do you?"  With expert motions, she laid down the backs for the
okonomiyaki and readied herself for her patented quick-cook
technique.  She looked over at Akane in her red skirt and sweater,
"Don't they feed you at the Tendo's?"
      Sitting down, Akane chuckled.  "Sure we feed him, Ukyou.  And
right after we fed him dinner, he went over to Shampoo's 'cause she
had promised him some chow mein.  Once he finished that, he bounded
right out of the Neko-kan and made a bee-line straight for your
place."
      Ukyou slowed down at Akane's words; and she looked at Ranma
inquisitively.  Putting on an air of wounded arrogance, Ranma-chan
replied, "Come on Akane, at your place it's a zoo trying to get
enough to eat with seven people living there.  Bad enough with that
old freak, but Oyaji eats like an animal."
      Ukyou's smile reappeared as she began to apply the sauce. 
"That's right, Akane-chan.  Ran-chan needs to keep up his
strength."
      "I'm a growing boy," Ranma replied.
      "Oh really," Akane smirked, looking at Ranma-chan's figure. 
"Judging by what I see, you're growing in the wrong places for a
boy," she jabbed.
      "Humph.  Well, at least I've got places to grow, unlike some
others I could mention."
      Despite her shock at Ran-chan's barb, Ukyou saw Akane's twitch
as an opportunity to widen the crack.  She raised a hand to her
mouth and pretended to stifle a giggle.  That had the desired
effect of making Akane turn red.
      "Well maybe next time I won't help you get away from Kuno-
sempai like I did today." Akane said angrily.  "What was that all
about Ranma?  Coming after you in a tuxedo and shouting something
about having to keep you safe isn't sempai's usual style."
      Ranma-chan shivered at the memory.  Ever since that one time
she had done that one LITTLE favour for Kuno...She shuddered again. 
She'd always known that Kuno was obsessive, but now it was getting
out of hand.  Since that day Kuno had redoubled his efforts; today
attacking her with a measuring tape, yelling about the need to know
her measurements for the wedding dress.
      While Ranma was shivering, Akane turned thoughtful.  "I wonder
what sempai meant when he asked if there was anything he could do
for me in what he called my 'trying time of need.'"
      "I think he's gotten the idea that we're breaking up," Ranma-
chan replied, recovering.  "He gave me a 'you must be firm against
the lies of Saotome; he leaves women like a bee fluttering from
flower to flower' speech."
      "Didn't you ask him what he was talking about, Akane-chan?"
      "I did; but the response I got was something to do with...'a
fragile heart/ accidents weaken the ties that bind/ it is up to the
valiant to sweep up the pieces.'"  She shook her head.
      "Who cares," Ranma huffed, shaking off the horrible memory. 
"Right now I'm hungry!  Are those ready yet, U-chan?"
      Ukyou smiled and put the finishing touches on the last of the
four okonomiyakies.  Three for Ran-chan and one for Akane.
           With an expert flip of her spatulas, Ukyou sent the
okonomiyakies into the air, then zipped plates under them as they
surrendered to gravity.
      She gentle tossed the plates to her customers, and waited for
Ran-chan's thanks; but Ranma was too busy stuffing her face at the
moment.  Ukyou sighed.  <Don't they teach him any manners at the
Tendo's?>
      Akane took a few bites then looked up from her plate, smiling. 
"This is really good, Ukyou.  Arigato."
      "And what does Ran-chan think?" she asked, leaning forward to
grin at him in a kawaii manner.  Not quite snubbing Akane, but
close enough.  "Ran-chan's opinion means more to me then life
itself.  It's good, isn't it Ran-chan?"
      Mouth still stuffed with the remains of the third bun, Ranma
looked up, nodded, then returned to eating.  Ukyou squealed with
girlish delight and bounced happily.
      Seeing the annoyed/disgusted look Akane gave Ranma at that,
Ukyou pressed her advantage by trying to remind them just how much
they didn't have in common.  Looking over at Akane, she asked, "So,
what new things have you two been up to?"  
      The reaction was not what she had expected.  Both suddenly
choked on their meals and slowed down noticeably.  "Oh, not much. 
Isn't that right Ranma?"
      "Yeah; not much.  Just the same old things.  Right Akane?" 
Both laughed very lightly, uncomfortably.
      Ukyou blinked; something was going on here.  "Really Akane,"
she asked, sounding concerned.  She leaned close, "Come on, woman
to woman, what's going on."  This despite the fact that Ranma-chan
was within earshot.
      Akane backed away, doing a poor job of covering herself. 
"Really Ukyou.  N-nothing out of the ordinary has happened.  The
dojo got wrecked again, another fiancee for Ranma showed up,
Happosai woke up a fat griffon that cries and quotes bad
Shakespeare.  A p-pretty normal last few months, wouldn't you say
Ranma?"
      Busy trying to loose herself in her food, Ranma muttered,
"Sure; just another boring time at the Tendo's.  Nothing ever
happens there."
      Ukyou got up, still not convinced; then she remembered
something.  "Just a moment, Ran-chan.  I have to do something
behind the store.  I'll be back in a moment!"  She moved into the
private section of the building.
      Akane let out a breath and sagged.  "This could be trouble."
      "No kidding," Ranma muttered, still eating, but in a lethargic
manner.  "You had guilt written all over your face."
      "Me?" Akane returned, "your face was as red as your hair!  And
what's that about nothing interesting ever happens at my house?"
      Ranma-chan looked up annoyed.  "Let's face it, I'm the only
person over there who's got any sense of fun."
      "Oh really?"
      "Yeah; don't tell me you think that you're at all interesting
Akane.  Ha!"
      Akane's face closed up.  "Is that so you jerk..."
 
           *                     *                     *

      Back behind the U-chan, Ukyou was lugging a water can over to
a potted plant that was sitting beside several large boxes.  Ukyou
had promised to look after some of her friend's belongings while
the person was in the process of moving.  As she began to water the
plant, Ukyou wondered what it was that had made those two so jumpy.
      It just wasn't fair, she thought.  Akane-chan got to live
under the same roof with Ran-chan.  While she had nothing personal
against Akane, in fact she liked the Tendo girl, she still couldn't
quite get over the fact that Akane seemed to regard Ranma as
personal property.  It wasn't fair for Ukyou, and it wasn't fair
for Ran-chan.
      Standing up, Ukyou looked at her reflection in the back window
of her house.  She put on a charming smile and posed a little,
liking what she saw.  <No matter how cute Akane-chan is,> Ukyou
thought, <she's still no where near as feminine as I am.>
      She ran a finger down the razor-edge of her giant spatula;
<Not even close.>
      Lost in her happy thoughts, Ukyou didn't notice the shape
slowly moving up behind her.  The dark figure staggered onwards
towards the girl; the sounds of ragged breathing forced out of its
lungs.  With a trembling limb, the dark entity reached out an arm,
and dropped it on the girl's shoulder.
      Feeling something touch her, Ukyou froze, then slowly turned
her head to see a hand grasping her shoulder.  After overcoming a
moment of pure panic, Ukyou reacted in a purely feminine fashion: 
she let out a good, hearty scream; whipped out her kick-ass
spatula; and proceeded to beat the offender into a greasy spot in
the dirt.
      Inside, Ranma stopped making faces at Akane as they both
looked towards Ukyou's scream.  "U-chan!!" Ranma shouted; then she
raced out the back.
      Still beating whatever it once had been into the ground, Ukyou
stopped screaming and paused as she heard Ranma shout her name. 
Never one to turn an opportunity down, Ukyou dropped her spatula,
turned, and ran towards the door.  Just as Ran-chan appeared
outside, Ukyou leapt into her arms crying, "Ran-chan!  Save me! I'm
so frightened!"
      Latching on to her with a death-grip hug, Ukyou blocked
Ranma's view of the situation.  From long experience with Shampoo,
Ranma knew that she couldn't fight with a girl clinging to her. 
"Ukyou! [huf], Let [gasp] go!  I [gruf] can't breathe!"
      "But I'm so frightened!" she responded, tightening her grip.
      Akane now also appeared at the doorway, and saw Ukyou clinging
to Ranma.  Clenching her jaw, Akane was about to clobber Ranma when
motion from the what-should-have-been-dead figure caught her
attention.  Stepping outside, she took a better look at the
battered creature and gasped.
      "Ryoga-kun!"

           *                     *                     *

      Back inside a few minutes later, a rather bruised Ryoga was
sitting down as Ukyou made an okonomiyaki for him.  At Ukyou's
insistence, he was sitting between Ranma and Akane.
      "Gomen Ryoga," Ukyou was saying.  "I didn't know it was you." 
She smiled charmingly.  "It's good Akane-chan knows you so well she
can recognize you no matter what happens."
      Ryoga blushed; Akane smiled and replied, "Masaka Ukyou! 
Ryoga-kun's a good friend; of course I'd know him when I see him."
      "Oh yeah," Ranma-chan taunted, sounding snide.  "Then how come
you have trouble recognizing P-chan when you see him?"
      Ryoga stiffened.  Akane glared over at Ranma with an annoyed
look.  "What are you talking about you loser?  Of course I'd
recognize P-chan."
      Grinning in an almost Nabiki-like fashion, Ranma returned,
"What if I tell you that P-chan is right-"
      "-At home where you left him!" Ryoga shouted, drowning out
Ranma.  Akane looked at him with a gentle smile.
      "That's sweet of you to say Ryoga-kun.  But unfortunately P-
chan ran away again just before you left last time.  By the way,
where have you been these last few weeks?"
      Ryoga paused and paled slightly.  "I-I don't really
know...Sand dunes everywhere...an endless desert...twin
moons...giant sandworms..." he shook his head.
      Everyone fell silent for a moment; then Ukyou flipped Ryoga's
dinner down in front of him.  "Ran-chan," she began, "I'm taking
care of some stuff for a friend, and I'll need some help bringing
in the bed.  Can you come out and help?"
      Ranma-chan looked over at Ryoga and Akane.  "Don't you want a
strong man like Ryoga to help you?" she asked pointedly.  "He has
the strength of an ox, the heart of a lion, and the body of a pi-"
      "Don't be silly Ran-chan," Ukyou interrupted, grabbing her arm
and dragging her out.  "Ryoga is eating now."  <Besides,> she
thought to herself with a sly grin, <It'll give Ryoga some time
alone with Akane-chan.>
      Ryoga turned to watch Ukyou disappear with Ranma-chan in tow. 
His mouth moved for a moment, but no sound came out.  Just before
rounding the corner, Ukyou flashed him a thumbs-up.  Flustered, he
turned back to his dinner.
      "It's really good to see you again Ryoga-kun," Akane said
quietly.  Ryoga's heart leapt; his eyes stared without really
seeing.  Unknowingly, he picked up the plate rather then just the
okonomiyaki and bit into it.  A small part of his mind wondered why
Ukyou was using harder crusts.
      He swallowed.  "Y-you mean that Akane-san?"
      Looking down at her empty plate, Akane nodded, somewhat
thoughtfully.  "Things...some things have happened recently...and
I'm not sure what...what's going to happen next..."
      Ryoga turned to her, heart in his eyes.  "Akane-san..."
      She looked up at him with eyes closed and a bright smile. 
"It's just so good to have a solid friend like you who I can lean
on for support."
      His throat tight, Ryoga looked at Akane, his heart aching. 
<Now!> an inner voice shouted at him.  <Say what is truly on your
mind!>
      "Akane-san..."
      "Hai, Ryoga-kun?"
      "I...I..."
      She nodded, sensing something important.
      "I...I have to go to the bathroom."
      That said, Ryoga turned and bolted into the back of the
restaurant, leaving Akane blinking in his wake.

           *                     *                     *

      In the back, Ukyou was taskmastering Ranma to move stuff
around.  She was about to see what other jobs she could get Ranma
to do when a hand grabbed her arm.  Turning, she saw Ryoga standing
there, a desperate look on his face.
      "I need your help!" he pleaded.
      Ukyou turned to him in a huff.  "I've already set the ball
rolling, it's up to you now.  This is your chance to woo Akane-chan
away while Ran-chan is busy.  Go back there and get to it!"
      Twisting his fingers nervously, Ryoga looked uncertain.  "What
do I do?   What do I say?  I need your help!"
      Ukyou looked annoyed.  "Ryoga, are you a man or aren't you?! 
Girls want love in spoken words!  Go back and tell her your true
feelings!"
      "What'll I say?"
      "Say 'I'm in love with you Akane!'" Ukyou practically shouted.
      "I'm in love with you Akane," Ryoga repeated.
      "Again!"
      "I'm in love with you Akane!"
      Nodding grimly, Ukyou turned Ryoga around and shoved him back
into the restaurant.  Striding with purpose, Ryoga walked over to
Akane.  She looked up as he grabbed her hands in his.  "Akane-san! 
Please listen closely!"
      Surprised, she blinked.  "Hai!"
      Taking a breath so deep it lowered the air-pressure in the
room, Ryoga spoke.  "Akane-san...I'm...I'm..."  With a sudden burst
of determination, he forced out, "I'm-"
      "P-chan."
      In one smooth motion, Ryoga turned and clobbered Ranma. 
"WHO'S P-CHAN?!"
      "Honestly Ranma!" Akane said, "Stop picking on him!  How would
you like it if I kept calling you Alphonse?"
      His confidence fading fast, Ryoga collapsed into his seat as
Ukyou walked behind the counter.
      "Come on Akane," Ranma muttered, scratching her head.  "We've
got other things to do."  Waving brightly, she walked out, "Bye U-
chan!  See you tomorrow!"
      Akane shook her head at Ranma-chan and turned back to Ryoga. 
"That Ranma!  Anyway Ryoga-kun, it's really good to have you back. 
I hope you can stay for awhile this time."
      Hope blossoming anew, Ryoga looked up at Akane.  "For your
sake I shall try, Akane-san!"
      Smiling, Akane put one hand on his shoulder.  "Thanks, Ryoga-
kun.  I know I can always count on you."  With that she waved to
Ukyou and walked through the door, sliding it closed behind her. 
Outside, sounds of quick, angry voices could be heard arguing.
      Ukyou sighed as Akane left, then turned to look at Ryoga.  He
was still sitting in the same spot and position as when Akane
touched him.  Neither a limb nor muscle moved.  His face was frozen
into a look of pure rapture, his eyes shining like stars.
      Ukyou waved a hand in front of his face.  He didn't move. 
Sighing, Ukyou closed her eyes and gently took Ryoga by his
shoulders.  She turned his body towards her: still, not a muscle on
him changed.  Taking her hands from his arms, she sweetly placed
one behind his head, cradling his black hair in her palm.  The
other she had reach for her brush, and with deft strokes, covered
his face with sauce.  He still didn't move.  Putting the brush
down, she placed the other hand behind his head, and with a loving
gesture, slammed his face down onto the heating grill.
      It took a moment for the sizzling pain to reach through
Ryoga's blissful state.  With a yelp, he pulled his face back. 
"What was that for?!"
      "What was is for?  Look at yourself Ryoga!  You had a golden
opportunity and you blew it!"
      "I did no such thing!" he snapped back.  Standing up, he
clenched his fist and defiantly said, "I stand tall against all
opposition!"
      Ukyou looked behind him.  "Oh, you came back Akane-chan?"
      Instantly, Ryoga's pillar of strength collapsed and he sank
into his seat.  One hand rubbing the back of his head self-
consciously, he turned.  "A-A-Akane-san-"
      No one else was in the room.
      "See what I mean," Ukyou said annoyed.  "You just fall to
pieces when she's around."
      Ryoga looked embarrassed.  "It's...it's just that...I'm not
good dealing with girls."
      "You seem to relate to me just fine," Ukyou noted.  Ryoga
seemed startled at that and looked up at her closely.
      "Come to think about it, that's right," he muttered.
      "What?" Ukyou asked.  "That you relate to me fine?"
      "No, that you're a girl."
      She clobbered him for that.  "Of course I'm a girl!  The
question is, are you a man?"
      "I'm a man!" he snapped back, somewhat defensively.  "And I
challenge you to prove that I'm not!"
      "Well, if you're a man, then this shouldn't bother you!" With
a sudden motion, Ukyou grabbed the front of her tunic.  Pulling it
down, she bared her left shoulder, part of her arm, and the front
of her chest down to the beginnings of the swell of her breast.
      Instantly, Ryoga's eyes went wide, he fell backwards, and
blood poured out of his nose to soak his shirt.  After his head hit
the ground with a hollow THUK, Ukyou pulled her top back up.
      "That clinches it!  I'll make a man out of you or kill you
trying!"

           *                     *                     *

      In the bathroom a few minutes later, Ryoga was washing the
last of the blood off his face.  He had removed his shirt; it would
require a good scrub to get it clean.  Ukyou had marched him to the
bathroom and told him to stay there while she closed up and got his
training methods ready.  Standing there, he looked at himself in
the mirror.
      The fact that the female body did such things to him was a
shame he had learned to live with.  Although he slept with Akane-
san as P-chan, he never really had seen her change.  He considered
his role as P-chan to be the defender of his beloved in that house
of madness.  To look upon Akane-san in her state of undress would
be a violation of the trust she placed in him.  True, he had looked
one time; but he'd lost so much blood from the resulting nose bleed
he'd blacked out and couldn't remember anything.
      He wasn't afraid of whatever training Ukyou was planning.  He
had survived worse than anything her mind could possibly come up
with.  He looked himself in the eye.  <This is for Akane-san,> he
thought, psyching himself up.  <I will do whatever Ukyou tells me
to do!  I will show her that I'm a man!>
      An errant thought wandered though his head.  <How can Ukyou
know what it will take to make a man.  I mean, she is a girl, isn't
she?>  He admitted she was; it was just that he'd never bothered to
notice before.
      "Are you ready for manhood or death, Ryoga?" came Ukyou's
voice.  Taking one last breath, Ryoga walked out of the bathroom
and turned down the hall to face her.
      "I'm ready for anything you canGGGGRRRUUUGG!!!"  That last bit
was torn from his throat as he jumped 10 feet backwards until his
back was firmly against a wall and he could retreat no further.
      At the other end of the hall, Ukyou was standing there,
leaning against the doorway, her arms held coyly behind her back. 
The reason for Ryoga's rather unusual response was based on what
Ukyou was wearing.  All he could see was the short housecoat that
covered her from neck to upper thigh.  From there, Ukyou's long,
bare legs seemed to stretch on forever until they touched the
floor.  Aside from the housecoat, the only other thing he saw she
had on was the white bow in her hair.
      Smiling sweetly, Ukyou beamed at the wide-eyed boy at the
other end of the hall.  Carefully making sure her housecoat wasn't
open in the front, she repeated, "Well Ryoga, it's either manhood
or the grave for you.  Which shall it be?"
      His confidence blown away like an icecube in a blast-furnace,
Ryoga shut his eyes.  "Uh-uh-ah...Thanks for you help!  But I'll
try and manage on my own!"  Eyes still closed, he ran down the
hallway, trying to get past Ukyou and to the door.
      Ukyou however, had expected something like this.  She brought
her arms out from behind her back, showing that she carried the
spatula which was on growth hormones.  With all her might, she
swung her spatula east, and it solidly connected with the eyes-
closed Ryoga, who was heading west.

           *                     *                     *

      Lugging the comatose Ryoga into the spare room, Ukyou dumped
him onto the wireframe bed she had had Ranma drag in and set up. 
Looking down at Ryoga, she huffed.  <He's not much, but he's all
I've got to break up Ran-chan and Akane-chan with.>
      The next step was to make sure that the poor boy didn't try
and escape taking his medicine.
      Leaning over, she began to undo his bandanna, which he'd
probably slip over his eyes if she gave him the chance.  Removing
it, she tossed it to the floor, then paused.  He was wearing
another underneath it.  She undid that one; there was another
underneath that.  And another, and another, and another.
      Finally, after removing fifteen bandannas, Ukyou realized she
wasn't getting anywhere.  <If I can't get rid of them,> she
thought, <I have to keep him from using them.>  Untying two more
bandannas, she raised both of his arms above his head.  Placing his
wrists against the wireframe headboard, she lashed each one to the
headboard individually.  When finished, Ryoga was lying flat on his
back, wrists tied above him.
      <No getting out of it now Ryoga,> she thought as she looked
down at him.  Funny...for a moment she thought he looked kind of
helplessly cute.  Sort of like Ran-chan without the pony-tail.  His
shirtless body showed the firm muscles of his chest and
arms...also, those little fangs were adorable.
      Ukyou shook herself out of the thought and picked up a bucket
of water to wake Ryoga up with.  Before she could splash him
however, he groaned and became conscious.  He paused when he
noticed he was tied down; he looked up angrily.  "Ukyou!  What the
hell are-"
      "You promised you'd go through this training right?" she
asked, archly; he nodded slowly.  "Well," she said, now beaming at
him, "this is just insurance to make sure you live up to your end
and actually learn something.  Ready dear boy?"
      Ryoga took a long, audible swallow, and nodded.  Ukyou walked
a little distance away and placed her hands on the front of her
housecoat.  <I was saving this for Ran-chan,> she thought.  <But we
all have to make sacrifices.>  With a sudden flourish, she pulled
open the coat and let it fall to the floor.
      Underneath, she was wearing a two-piece pink lingerie.  A set
of silky boxers with lace edges covered her hips and pelvis;
leaving the long, smooth expanse of her legs free.  A flimsy,
sleeveless, spaghetti-strap tank top rode her upper body; the top
so short that the curves of her chest left the fabric hanging away
from her torso, displaying her midsection.
      "What do you think?" Ukyou asked, flinging her long, rich
brown hair over her shoulder.
      Ryoga's eyes went wide and his head collapsed back on the bed. 
Ukyou stalked over and slapped him across the face a couple of
times.  "Stay awake!!  How do you expect to build up resistance if
you can't even remain conscious!?"
      Croaking weakly, Ryoga spoke,  "I'll...I'll be fine...Get..get
on with it."
      Stepping back a few paces, Ukyou took a deep breath (what that
did to her top caused Ryoga's eyes to widen), and began to go
though an okonomiyaki-do warm up exercise.  Stretching her limbs
though expressive motions, she hoped the display would have the
desired affect on Ryoga.  With luck, seeing a girl doing such
things would break the boy's shyness.  Lifting her long leg to
loosen up the muscles, she began to get flushed as she continued. 
Not due to the exertions, but for some reason she was feeling giddy
as she put on the display.  Any embarrassment she felt quickly
faded and she left her inhibitions behind.  Doing hip rotations,
she got a evil thought and bent over further then she normally did,
giving the poor boy a good shot of cleavage.
      Ryoga's head was making small circles as sensory overload
threatened to blow his mind.  His face was red, and every second
his nose threatened to explode.  Ukyou's long legs and slim arms
seemed to stretch on forever, drawing his eyes down them.  The
motions of the girl kept her top ridding up somewhat, displaying
more of her curvaceous torso.  Her long, glistening hair flowed
down her back and followed her head movements.  When Ukyou bent
forwards, he couldn't help himself and looked down the gap her top
left.  Staring down soft mountains of curves, it was too much.  His
vision began to blur, and the world faded from sight...
      Ukyou looked up to see Ryoga's head roll back onto the bed;
eyes locked open, he stared at the roof.  Ukyou paused, then her
face got even more flushed.  "Don't you dare tune me out, Ryoga!" 
She stalked back over to him and slapped him across the face some
more.
      No reaction.  She slapped him some more.  "Wake up you baka!" 
Still no reaction.  Curious, she leaned over him and placed one
hand to his neck.  "Ryoga?" she asked quietly.
      A moment later, she drew back, a terrified look on her face. 
"Ack!  I've killed him!!"
      <Manhood or death,> her inner voice taunted.  <Guess he made
his choice.>
      Trembling with fear, she looked down at the immobile figure; 
tears began to work their way out of her eyes.  Suddenly, she threw
herself on Ryoga, straddling his chest.
      Pounding her fists on his ribs, she shouted, "Don't you dare
die on me!!"  Partly trying to get his heart going, partly to
punish him for doing this to her, she continued to hit his chest. 
When that didn't seem to do anything, she leaned down and grabbed
his head.  Tilting it back, she put her lips to his and forced air
down his throat.
      Ukyou kept alternating chest punches with mouth-to-mouth, and
after another lip-lock, she felt him cough.  Looking desperately at
him through tear-streaked eyes, she held her breath as his eyes
fluttered closed and he slowly began to wheeze.
      Another cough, and Ryoga started to breath normally.  His eyes
opened slowly.  "W-What happened?" he asked.
      Ukyou looked down at him; her jaw trembling, tears spilling
down her cheeks.  She suddenly threw herself down against him,
hugging him as she pressed her head next to his, crying.
      A second later, she was back up, sitting on his chest,
slapping his face repeatedly.  "Don't you EVER do that again!!" she
shouted as she changed from slapping to slugging.  "I need you,
damn it!! I need you!!"  
      Her emotions spent, she collapsed against him again, sobbing. 
Uncertain about her emotional state, Ryoga quietly asked, 
"Ah...you...need me?"
      Ukyou raised her head a little and looked down at him.  After
a moment's pause she said, "Yes...I...need you...," she seemed
confused; why had she said that?  "I need you to break up Ran-chan
and Akane-chan."  Somehow, that response seemed wrong; but she
couldn't explain why.
      Sitting there, trembling with the after effects of emotion,
the situation the two of them were in slowly dawned on her.  Ryoga
was lying on his back, hands tied above him.  Ukyou was sitting on
his chest, knees bent, legs straddling him, her body bent so that
her face was near his.  After a moment, they looked into each
other's eyes.  Looking up, Ryoga saw something in her gaze.  When
he finally recognized what it was, his muscles tightened in
undescribable fear.  Trying to speak past a tight throat, Ryoga
finally forced out, "U-U-Ukyou?  Are...are...are you..."
      A long stretch of silence followed; then, Ukyou leaned down
some more and gently put her lips to his again.  Closing her eyes,
she pressed her lips against his harder, a warm feeling inside her
awakening.  Ryoga responded just as slowly; gently letting her
tongue pass his lips, his muscles sag, and feeling responses begin.
      Ukyou slid one hand to his chest and taking her weight upon
it, straightened out her legs.  That resulted in her whole body
being pressed against Ryoga's; gravity pulling her down against
him.  She felt her breasts squish as their chests pressed together. 
Gently drawing herself forwards, she placed her hand on Ryoga's
head and manoeuvred him for another kiss.
      Ryoga shivered as the soft silk half-shirt ran over his chest. 
Under it, he could feel twin pressures pressing against him.  He
kissed her back, twisting his wrists, trying to get his hands free. 
Ukyou removed one hand from his face and ran it up his arm to the
biceps.  Breathing deeply, she drew it back down his arm and down
his flank onto his chest.  With uncontrollable desire, Ryoga began
to slowly rock his hips, grinding his hardening manhood into
Ukyou's pelvis through their clothes.
      Pulling her head down his cheek, she traced her tongue down to
Ryoga's neck.  Gently kissing his collarbone, she felt the ache
inside slowly warm her whole body.  Putting her hands on his
shoulders, she drew her body up his.  Now straddling his upper
chest with her hips, she swept the damp hair away from her face and
sat up.  Licking her lips, she looked down at him as one hand
gently rubbed her chest through the silk top.  Looking back up,
Ryoga could see the swell as she pressed the fabric tight.  His
arms shook trying to get free; the metal of the frame started to
bend under the strain.
      Unable to help herself, Ukyou grabbed the bottom of her shirt
in her hands and drew it over her head.  Ryoga gasped as her
breasts swayed into view.  Ukyou cupped both mounds and gently
rubbed the skin.  After a moment of this, she looked down at the
awed face beneath her, and leaned down.  Resting on her forearms,
she let her breasts hang down into Ryoga's face.
      Closing his eyes, Ryoga captured one of the swaying mounds in
his mouth and pressed his tongue into the nipple.  Ukyou whimpered
at the sensation; she pressed down harder, rocking slightly to
drive her pelvis against his hard chest.  Releasing the nipple,
Ryoga's tongue traced all over her sweet mountain.  Her face
grimacing, Ukyou dragged her other breast over to his lips and let
him continue his exploration.
      Breathing quickly, Ryoga worked the breast in his mouth, then
gently took the nipple between his teeth and flicked the end with
his tongue.  Ukyou shuddered, her whole body shaking as she reacted
to him.  Flush of face, she took her weight off her arms and leaned
down again.  Almost stifling Ryoga under her breasts, she moved her
hands down and grabbed the sides of her boxers.  In a quick,
desperate motion, she shoved them down her smooth legs and off her
body.  Grabbing the headboard in hand, she pulled herself forwards
and up.
      Ryoga looked up to see her kneeling above him, her sweet
treasure just above his face.  Eyes wide, he stared past it, past
her swaying breasts, to her red face.   Looking back down at him,
Ukyou lowered her body down.  He met her descent with his tongue,
reaching up to touch her.
      Ukyou gasped as she felt the contact, the sensations freezing
her for a moment.  Then she settled down on his face, her breathing
deep and quick.  Ryoga let his tongue explore all it could reach. 
He licked the folds where her inner legs met the pelvis, them
reached into the middle.  Parting the skin with his tongue, he
found her insides moist and slick.  Ukyou moaned as he ran it up
the insides, then wormed it back into the folds.  Grunting with
each breath, she pressed down harder, letting Ryoga lock his lips
around her button and suck.
      Hands tight on the metal bars, Ukyou whimpered and tossed her
long hair.  Beneath her, Ryoga thrust his tongue inside her,
rubbing the inside of her canal.  Taking a deep breath, he pressed
his tongue in deeper and nudged her with his nose.  She let out a
small scream at the pressure, and felt the emotions have the run of
her body.
      Shivering uncontrollably, Ukyou let go of the bars and started
to fall backwards.  Catching herself, she flipped over until she
was facing Ryoga's legs.  Reaching down, she undid his pants and
desperately shoved them down his legs, and almost ripped his
underwear off dragging it down as well.  Doing that freed Ryoga's
stiffened penis; forcing a grunt from him.  Pointing slightly up,
it bobbed there, a drop of clear liquid at the head.
      Leaning down, she took it in her hand and closed a fist around
it tightly.  Ryoga took a shuddering breath as Ukyou pointed his
manhood up.  Head moving in, she pressed her tongue against its
top, and then slowly dropped her lips over the head.  Feeling this,
Ryoga began to twitch his hips; Ukyou helped the situation by
dropping her head down his rod, warming it with her lips.
      Shuddering wildly, Ryoga looked up to see Ukyou's cleft still
lying within reach, her legs outside his head.  With effort, he
reached up and continued to touch her with his tongue.  Feeling
this, Ukyou's limbs began to shudder.  The hand holding his rock-
like manhood trembled, causing it's head to vibrate against the
inside of her mouth.
      Feeling her tongue press against his penis, Ryoga felt the
straining reach its peak.  Grunting wildly, he bucked his hips and
let his control go.  With a leap between her lips, he exploded;
releasing shot after shot of semen, filling her mouth.  His arms
muscles clenched, bending the bars even more.  Then a relaxing
release followed, and he fell back, all muscles sagging.
      Taking a last swallow, Ukyou removed her mouth from his
shrinking rod.  Keeping her hand on it, she began to rub it slowly,
trying to keep up the sensations.  She pressed her rump back into
his face, hoping for a release herself.  Despite the pain of her
manipulations on his tiring tool, Ryoga stuck his tongue back
between her legs.
      Softly moaning as he continued to probe her, Ukyou kept up her
actions on his manhood; watching as it stopped its slacking and
began to return to a rigid state.  Feeling the tension return,
Ryoga needed a release; plunging his tongue into her deeply, he
strained his muscles as she whimpered with desire.
      The metal bars that held him back were on the verge of
breaking when the bandannas finally gave out.  With a tearing
sound, Ryoga ripped his arms free.  Without any preamble, he
grabbed her hips and sat up.  The force threw Ukyou's face into the
bed and drove her forwards.  Putting her arms to the bed, she rose
herself to her hands and knees.  Turning her head, she looked past
her long hair to see Ryoga standing on his knees behind her;
between her spread legs.
      Sweat covering his body, Ryoga grabbed Ukyou by her hips and
slid closer to her.  His body trembling, his level, straight
manhood led the way.  Ukyou gasped and turned back to face the
front, her own sweaty body shivering with urgent expectation.
      Reaching her, Ryoga swung his hips, using the motion to slide
his member between her pink folds;  Ukyou gritted her teeth and set
herself.  With a savage lunge, Ryoga thrust forwards, his hands
pulling her hips back at the same instant.  Shoved in, his penis
tore its way into the tight folds, forcing a cry from Ukyou as she
felt her virgin body ripped open.
      Trembling with the feelings, Ryoga drew back, paused, and
thrust forwards again.  Again Ukyou cried out, but not as loud this
time; the sounds of pain drown out by something else.  Throwing his
hips against her, Ryoga buried his rigid member into her tight,
slick softness again and again.
      Feeling him crash deep inside of her, Ukyou let the waves of
satisfaction start to overwhelm her.  The sharp pain was still
competing against the even sharper pleasure, but her body relished
the emotion.  Whimpering with each now lunge, she arched her back,
letting herself go; drinking in whatever he threw at her.
      Ryoga kept his hands on her hips, pulling her hard against him
when he drove forwards.  He felt her soft ass rammed to his pelvis
as he lunged,    and the muscles of the thighs under his hands, but
his main attention was centred on the tight grip she maintained on
his invading member.  She would not let go, and kept his rod
clenched tight.  Straining against the pressure, he kept it up;
driving into her with all he could muster.
      With the fire blazing a path across her nerves, Ukyou let out
a final, sharp moan that tore at her.  Pushing off with her arms,
Ukyou forced Ryoga to straighten up as her back pushed him
vertical.  No longer having to hold her hips, Ryoga clamped one
hand on her right breast; the other he had press into her clitoris. 
Ukyou crossed her right arm to grasp her free left breast, and
pressed her other palm against Ryoga's right hand; driving it
harder into her sex.
      Shoving up from below, Ryoga began shorter, more rapid
thrusts.  Her breath coming in short gasps, Ukyou's pretty face
contorted into a grimace as she began to shake and tremble.  With
a long cry, Ukyou let herself go and felt the burning sweetness
sweep over her thoughts, driving all else away.
      Catching her as she rode out her twitching, Ryoga pressed his
member in deeper, aware only of the painful clench he was forced to
maintain.  With a sudden burst, his control shattered and the build
up was released into her eager body.  Eyes screwed shut, he fell
backwards, dragging Ukyou with him, spasming inside her as he
emptied all he had into her.
      For a long time, neither of them moved.  Both just lay there,
breathing in deep gulps of air, letting their trembling limbs calm
down again.  Still with Ryoga's arms around her, Ukyou eventually
turned in his grasp and placed her head against his shoulder and
hugged him.
      Quietly, Ukyou whispered into his ear.  "This just proves it
Ryoga.  You're not a man."
      His eyes opened at that and he looked shocked as she levered
her head up to look down at him.
      "You're an animal," she finished with a smile.  Then she
leaned down and kissed him gently.
 
           *                     *                     *

      At school, Ukyou looked over at Ran-chan with a hesitant
expression.  She wasn't sure if she should tell Ran-chan about what
she and Ryoga had done.  It didn't really seem right to share
something like that, but Ran-chan was her fiancee, and she had a
duty to be honest with him.  It had taken some time for her to
reach that conclusion, and now was the time to implement that
choice before she chickened out.
      As she walked towards Ran-chan, she wondered how he'd take it. 
She stopped when it occurred to her that Ranma might just try and
hurt Ryoga for what he had done to her.  That almost made her turn
back, but she hardened herself and carried on.
      "Ran-chan," she asked hesitantly.
      "Ah! U-chan!  What can I do for you?"
      She gulped.  "There's no easy way to do this, so I'll come
right out and say it."  Ranma looked on inquisitively.
      A deep breath and then, "Ranma, I-"
      The door to the classroom burst open, and a ragged figure in
torn, yellow-brown clothing, a backpack, and a red umbrella
staggered in.
      "Ryoga!" Ukyou shouted.
      Looking up at her, the clearly exhausted Ryoga held out a
trembling limb towards her.  "H-h-here.  You...asked for...this." 
In his hand, Ryoga held out a jug of bottled water with the label: 
'Pure Glacier Spring Bottled Water: Straight From the Columbia
Glacier, Alberta, Canada.'
      Ukyou took the bottle and blinked at it for a moment.  Then
she closed her eyes and said sweetly.  "Ryoga; yes I did ask for
you to go get me a drink of water that evening..."
      "A WEEK AGO!!" she finished, shouting.  "Where the hell have
you been!?  The fridge was in the kitchen!!  I've had to deal with
this problem by myself while you go off somewhere for a camping
trip!!"
      Staggering to his feet, Ryoga yelled back at her.  "I wasn't
on some pleasure tour!  Do you know what I had to go through to get
that drink for you!?  Do you have any idea how hot the Canadian
Shield is this time of year?  And the natives with their bamboo
spears and blow guns were noting to laugh about!"
      Akane walked over to Ranma as they watched Ukyou and Ryoga
fall into a heated shouting match.
      "What's this all about?" Akane wanted to know.
      "No idea," replied Ranma, loosing interest.  "But Ryoga
shouldn't scream like that; it's not manly."




-------------------------------------------------------------------
Post Production Notes:

      The term 'kick-ass spatula' I borrowed from another lemon
'Okonomiyaki Orgy'; I just liked it so much I had to use it.  The
'endless desert, twin moons, giant sandworms' of course refers to
Arrakis (Dune).  In my universe, when Ryoga gets lost, he gets
LOST.  Also, any natives who live on the Canadian Shield in Canada
DON'T use blowguns (it's also not that hot there).  Some might
think that Ryoga was a little too shy regarding the female body in
this; the only thing I have to say is: it worked didn't it?
      Ok, now for the hint about next part:  What exactly is Nabiki
willing to do for money?  (No, not that)  (Well, maybe not herself,
but I think she'd sell Ranma's body if she got the chance. 
Hmm...have to think about that for a future story.)  Anyway, next
time on Ranma .05: Nabiki, not necessarily in this order, makes
some money and gets laid.  (Were you expecting something different? 
This is a lemon after all.)
      Again, to contact me, leave mail at [[Might as well leave an
address here too Lee.]]]
      People I will lay the blame on if the law comes looking for
me:
James Stone:  Perversion has to start somewhere.
The BAKA (Banzai Anime Klub of Alberta) gang:  For reading my
      preliminary work and NOT burning me at the stake.
Rob (Barbarian): For continuing to threaten my life if I don't
      continue to write.
Lee (Grey Wolf):  For actually suffering through the work of
      transferring mail to me (Arigato).
Takahashi Rumiko-no-gamisama: for not putting a contract out on my
      life for writing these.  Yet.
You:  Obviously, somebody out there likes my stuff.