RanPorn14 Porn World! By Jim Robert Bader (Inspired by the works of Rumiko Takahashi and so many others who do not deserve the blame for putting me up to this series...) The Fourteenth Encore. Things To Do In Shinjuku When You're Undead... ("World Without Men...") WARNING---LEMON MERANGE FANFICTION AHEAD! CONTAINS SCENES OF AN ADULT AND HIGHLY SUGGESTIVE NATURE THAT MIGHT NOT BE TO EVERYONE'S PALET. THIS IS A FANTASY WORLD IN WHICH 99.9% OF THE MEN HAVE BEEN KILLED OFF, LEAVING THE SURVIVING FEW A HUNTED, HOUNDED AND PERSECUTED MINORITY ON A PLANET FULL OF PROMISCUOUS LESBIANS/BISEXUALS, ALL OF WHOM WILL DROP EVERYTHING TO SCREW THE NEAREST GIRL THEY CAN LAY HANDS ON IF YOU GIVE THEM THE SLIGHTEST HINT OF INTEREST...AND GUYS? THEY'RE WELL PAST THE ENDANGERED SPECIES LIST! YOU HAVE BEEN DULY WARNED! Ghost Sweeper Mikami Reiko kicked down the door and entered the office structure, her holy stick already in hand as she plunged into the darkened room with all senses primed and her battle instincts keyed to their highest measure. Instantly she apprehended the situation, taking matters in at a glance as she sought out her quarry, eyes sharpening to make out the distinctive shape of a large humanoid-like body that fairly reeked of otherworldly demon energies. It was big with dark skin, horns, wings and a tail, and all the other traditional accouterments commonly associated with a demon. Its massive cock was buried deep between the legs of a stunning blonde cutie who was straddling the beast while tentacles that projected from other sections of its body played about her naked form, ravaging her from all openings at once as she writhed helplessly in the throes of total penetration. Upon seeing this sight of perverse sexual interaction between demon and woman, Mikami frowned and firmed her resolve, steeling her nerves for the battle that was at hand while clenching her holy stick tightly as she advanced upon the pair, then called out in a forceful voice, "THAT'S ENOUGH! BREAK IT UP RIGHT NOW OR YOU ANSWER TO ME, GHOST SWEEPER MIKAMI!" Her voice had the desired effect of bringing a halt to the vigorous up-and-down pumping of the blonde, then both girl and demon turned to regard Mikami, one with intense annoyance in their expression, the other relieved beyond words and on the verge of tears as it beheld its unanticipated rescue. "That's right," Mikami said as she flashed her holy stick as though it were her badge of authority, "Fun time is over...you've had your fill, but now I want you to back away and stop abusing your victim. He's had enough all ready, and I won't have you working him to death for your own pleasure!" The blonde had tentacles presently filling her mouth, but they were retracted to permit her to spit out cum, then in a highly annoyed voice she declared, "Why did you have to show up now? I was just about to work on my twelfth orgasm!" "Life's tough, Bitch," Mikami replied, then glared forcefully as she saw the resolve in the other girl's eyes and said, "All right, get off of him right now, nice and slowly this very instant!" "Thank the Gods you've gotten here in time!" the huge demon cried actual tears of relief, "I thought she was going to kill me!" "If I'd gotten here another minute too late you'd likely be dead already," Mikami reassured the hulking creature, "And you, what were you thinking picking on a helpless guy like that? Don't you know how rare they are? So rare, in fact, that they're under International protection?" The blonde actually blinked at this then said, "Oh...I never even considered that. He was just...there...and then all at once I..." "Yeah, sure," Mikami snorted, "You saw a big guy with an enormous dick and you had to jump all over him...only did you ever stop to think that you might be killing him through contact with the Virus?" "Ah...no...oh my," the blonde looked startled, then turned to stare at the creature that she still was straddling and said, "Are you all right? I mean...I kind of lost control there...I didn't stop to think..." "'Sall right," the demon grunted slightly, terror still plainly evident upon his monstrous features as he regarded his tormentor, "I understand...these things just...happen..." "And you," Mikami regarded the demon with disgust, "What were you thinking wandering off from the institute like that? Didn't you know how dangerous it's gotten for your kind just to walk the streets of an average city, let alone the Shinjuku district?" "Believe me, I do now," the demon whimpered, "I was curious...attracted to the city lights...it's been so long since I've been to a human city...I'd forgotten how much things have changed over the last few years...and then I met...her..." he shuddered as he gazed at the blonde as though she were the one who was truly fearsome. "I'm so sorry," the girl whimpered, "I didn't think...you just looked so cute..." "Cute huh?" Mikami said in disgust, "And for kami's sake would you get off of him already? He's worth a lot more to me alive than dead, and if you keep riding him that way he's not going to be able to walk, let alone follow me back to the safety of the Institute." "I'll go quietly, Detective," the demon promised, "I'll do whatever you ask...just...just don't hurt me..." "I'm not going to ride your cock," Mikami snorted, "You wouldn't even last long enough to make it worth my time anyway. I'm a professional, and I never fail to land a bounty or deliver a package safe and sound and on time, and you my good sir...uh...what was your name again?" "Mjuro the Impaler," the demon glanced down at his now-flaccid member as the blonde finally forced herself to get up off of his lap, "Ah...but at the moment I don't think I'll be doing any more of that..." "Right," Mikami sniffed as she reached for a handy table-cloth then tossed it towards the demon while keeping one eye upon the blonde just in case she really had not learned her lesson, "Put this on and get ready to follow me. It's gonna be tough smuggling you across town the way you are, but we've got to get you back to the lab before you start to show symptoms." The demon actually made a sound like swallowing a thick lump in his throat, "Er...right...other human girls out there...talk about scary...!" "And as for you..." Mikami began addressing herself towards the naked blonde, who was presently standing off to the side of the nearly exhausted demon, "Put something on before you start a riot. You go out there dressed like that, honey, and you won't get ten paces before someone tries to jump you...in a train." "Really?" the blonde perked up hopefully, "Well...I could use a little something like that to take the edge off of the evening..." "Off you go," Mikami waved a dismissive hand, all the while keeping her eyes on the real prize as the giant demon was busy converting the table-cloth into a makeshift loincloth, "But as for you, big fellow..." "Right," the hulking brute of a demon said submissively, "I promise not to give you any trouble, Detective." "For your sake you had better not," Mikami warned, "Or that girl will just be a small taste of the trouble you'll be in from a million others like her who prowl the streets every night looking to score with some twit fool enough to leave his drawers down." The threat was more than adequate to cow the demon into submission, but still Mikami heard him sobbing under his breath, "How did it ever come to this? We used to prey upon your kind...now any time a demon crosses into your realm it's like he signs his own death sentence..." "Tough breaks," Mikami tried to sound sympathetic but was not that good of an actress. She only had to deliver this guy back to the institute from which he had escaped. Bonding with him was out of the question since to allow her guard to slip by even a fraction would be to succumb to the feminine urges that were raging even now within her body, the desire to rut, to grab him by the meat and slam him down so that she could spread her legs and hump him until he was all used up and had no strength left with which to fight the ravages of the Virus. As it was she had to keep her mind focused on the task at hand, for there was only one thing that Mikami valued more than hot sex with a warm and willing body, and it was the pile of money that had been offered to her as a bounty if she could bring him back alive, intact and kicking. The mere fact that he was about a thousand pounds of preternaturally charged sex on the hooves (two of them at the end of his bandy goat legs) was a powerful temptation for any woman working a risky trade like a licensed Ghost Sweeper, but Mikami was well trained and schooled in the mercenary aspects of her profession, and with an iron will unknown to many in her line of work she was determined to bring this guy back to the scientific ladies who were examining him in an attempt to discover how his body managed to ward off for this long the male-destroying Virus. And speaking of those who had far less control over their own inhibitions... "So, you caught our boy, huh?" a figure called out as she came into view, struggling with some lesser aspect of a demon struggling against her efforts to restrain him., "Well, I bagged one of his colleagues, so I guess that makes the score even." Mikami glared at the stunning redheaded beauty holding the beast and said, "What do you want here, Ayaka-san? This is my bounty and prize, and he's worth a lot more than those table scraps you're holding." "Hah, talk is cheaper than that perfume you're wearing, Mikami-san," the redhead fired back, "Let's get our boys back to the lab then we'll see which of us has snagged the bigger bounty." "What's this 'we' crap?" Mikami growled, "You think I'm gonna trust you with my bounty-head just because you presently have your hands full?" "What, you think I'm going to steal him off of you?" Ayaka snorted, "Dream on, Reiko-san, I'm not as greedy as you, nor am I half as perverted..." "Perverted?" Mikami snorted, "That's rich coming from a screaming nympho like you of all people! I'm not the one without the self-control to keep her hands off the anatomy of her own catch..." "Ooops," Kisiragi Ayaka suddenly became aware of where her hands were situated and let go of the nearly exhausted creature whom she'd been as much supporting as restraining up to this point, "How did they get there? Must've slipped when we were wrestling just now..." "More like you fucked him while subduing your bounty-head," Mikami retorted, "What's the matter? Think he'd be more cooperative and easier to control if you slaked your lust and humped him into submission?" "Well...you have to admit it is a pretty effective method for taking the fight out of these bad boys," Ayaka indicated her own prize, who was slumped upon the ground in a heap of total exhaustion, "This guy put up quite a fight, but in the end I rode him out until he quieted down and was willing to see reason..." "Somebody kill me," the creature softly moaned, "Put an end to my misery, I beg you...!" "Oh hush," Ayaka sniffed, "Don't be such a baby. It was just a little sex, and I only made you cum inside me about six or seven times, which is nothing to get all worked up about..." It was Mjuro's turn to shudder in revulsion. These human women were dangerously perverse, and the resilience that they demonstrated when raping a demon was truly awe-inspiring. He had tried to absorb the energies of the blonde who had been ravishing him only to find that she was a bottomless well of limitless sexual energies since her body seemed not to tire regardless of how much he attempted to drain her, and-furthermore---she regenerated back vitality seemingly through the act of sex itself. So the that longer she humped him the greater her capacity became, and soon she had total control over the situation and was in command of all of his appendages, compelling him to do her even after he surpassed his own level of satiation and began to overflow with such abundant energy that he threatened to explode from a massive overdose of her raw, untamed libido. Before too long she even reversed the flow of his energies back into her own body and was steadily draining him of life...when his deliverer arrived to end her predations and draw Mjuro to relative safety. But this other Ghost Sweeper was obviously a different sort from Mikami, who seemed remarkably in control over her own lusts for a human woman of this era. Poor Elandro never stood a chance against such a wicked, glutinous creature as this redhead named Ayaka, and for the first time in many ages Mjuro actually found cause to pity his longtime vassal... Mikami was suddenly quite livid with outrage, "You stupid tow-headed cow! Don't you realize how valuable these guys are? If you've managed to ruin him all because you can't control your own urges..." "Cow?" Ayaka shot back, "That's rich coming from you! You're the one who looks like she should be hitched to a plow and milked in a dairy farm, what with those obviously fake knockers!" "FAKE?!?" Mikami snarled, using her hands to cup both of her large breasts from beneath her strapless dress, forcing them together to give the impression of a pair of swelling mountains, "I'll have you know these are 100% real, which is more than you can claim for those patented falsies you're wearing!" "Hey, you won't find any surgical scars on my perfect body!" Ayaka growled back, "I was born with my equipment, but I'll bet you had to find a pretty fancy clinic that was willing to work cheap to wind up with a pair of those..." "Bitch!" "Slut!" "Dyke!" "What are you talking about? We're both Dykes!" "You may be, but I swing both ways," Mikaki declared haughtily, then paused to qualify her remark, "Um...well...not that I get that many chances to work on my backhand..." "Of course not," Ayaka said reasonably, "Your fingers must be ready to fall off from all the work they do satisfying your own clit." "Well...I do sometimes have to think about piles of money before I...HEY, WAIT A MINUTE!" Mikami sputtered in outrage. "Ah...maybe we should leave you two alone to work this out...?" Mjuro said as he slowly edged away from the impending cat-fight. "YOU STAY OUT OF THIS!" both women snapped, then Mikami added as if in afterthought, "And don't even think about running away...I'll track you down soon enough, and then...you really will be sorry to annoyed me." A very loud gulp filled the room as Mjuro's eyes went wide while he considered the implications, all thoughts of escape hastily forgotten. "Ah...perhaps I should just lie here and let you ladies settle this between yourselves...?" the creature laying upon the floor hesitantly inquired. "Don't worry," Mikami growled as she glared at Ayaka, "This won't take long..." "Yeah," Ayaka shot back, "You never did have that much staying power, Money-Grubber." "Says the trull whose got the attention span of a flea?" Mikami growled as she advanced a step towards Ayaka, holy stick at the ready. "Put your money where your muff is and I'll see how much I can stuff into that tiny little slit of yours," Ayaka growled as she extended her own lipstick-like holy-stick wand container, "Or maybe I'll just shove this up where it don't shine every morning, bottom feeder!" "Hey, with all the crap that's been shoved up your ass I'll bet it's too crowded to even fit my stick in," Mikami snarled as she and Ayaka began to circle one another, weapons at the ready, their eyes intent on one another...when those eyes began to stray and each one sized up the other with a reluctance that belied the heated words they each were exchanging. "At least I don't treat the people around me like a disposable resource," Ayaka said with some hesitation that took the heat out of her words and made them sound more like a clinical observation. "Of course not," Mikami snarled back with less force than she had intended, "You're too busy fucking them to throw any of them away...like that fire-eater...what was her name again?" "Nanami?" Ayaka replied, "What would you know about her? She's good with her tongue, but you know how it is with pyros..." "Yeah, tell me about it," Mikami sniffed, "Last time I slept with a pyrokinetic she accidentally burned off all of my crotch hairs..." "Really?" Ayaka asked, unable to help glancing down towards the bottom hem of Mikami's too-short one-piece skirt, "Can I see it?" "I got a better idea," Mikami replied as their holy sticks both winked out and were put away like unneeded vibrators, "Why don't I show you...and check out to see if you really are a redhead..." With that the two of them came together, but not in the hostile manner that had seemed inevitable mere moments ago. Rather the two firebrand Ghost-Sweepers reached out and brought their mouths together with one hand holding fast to the other's neck, while their free hands went to the top of both of their skirts and yanked them down far enough to expose the goods of their upper body, at which point those hands went to work comparing breast sizes... For Mjuro and his vassal, Elandros---who was still spread out upon the floor---the sight was enlightening indeed, for each had heard about the wondrous power of the Virus to turn even bitter enemies into sex-crazed wildcats, and what with the way these two began to go at it implied a great deal more attraction than either one had evidence prior to their embrace. With mouths clamped together and hands busy fondling each others bosom, rubbing tits together with their nipples hardening as they clashed, it was plain enough to behold how both women had completely forgotten their former animosity as a desire to screw each other took precedence over all other considerations. Both Ghost Sweepers fell to their knees and then proceeded to wrestle upon the floor as they finished the task of stripping their dresses, followed by the stringy undergarments each had concealed beneath their short-short hemlines. Their shoes were kicked off of feet that yearned to be free of all constraint as Mikami went down on Ayaka, painting a trail of kisses that went from her face to her neck to her upper chest to pay special attention to both breasts with an eagerness that bordered on obsession. Suckling the other girl gave both women great pleasure with Ayaka laying on her back, arching her spine and yielding up her nipples to be one-by-one be attended while Mikami used a free hand to stroke Ayaka's bared bush with skillful fingers. Mikami worked Ayaka's snatch until she was able to insert one finger part of the way into the opening, which gave Ayaka such great pleasure that she moaned and begged for her torment to continue. Mikami hardly needed the urging but the smile she wore showed how much she was looking forward to fully dominating the redhead, as if this had been her intention from the first moment she and Ayaka had glared at one another. As incredibly arousing as the show was that these two began to put on for their reluctant audience, Mjuro could not help but feel left out of the fun, an unwilling observer being tantalized by the sight of naked female flesh going at it with great intensity and passion and rich beyond measure with vital spiritual energies that he could sense even at a distance. These were undoubtably two of the most attractive and dangerous human women that he had ever encountered with life energies unmatched that Mjuro yearned to taste yet could not without peril. He knew full well that he would not last more than five minutes at the hands of either woman, and he was still horribly flaccid from the treatment that the blonde had subjected him to, so all he could do was stand and watch without even the release of a good hand-job for his tensions. He dared not look away, or risk angering Mikami-sama by trying to escape his own torment, yet equally found himself unable to look away for entirely masculine reasons, especially when Mikami spread Ayaka's legs and straddled her, bringing her own muff down to stimulate mutual contact. "I am in hell," the demon on the floor murmured softly. "This indeed is true damnation," Mjuro agreed, both terrified and fascinated as he watched Mikami "scissor" Ayaka, slowly bringing the redhead to a state of complete and utter arousal. Just then both demons heard a voice from the side say, "Oh...I wouldn't worry too much about that. You know how adults can get when they go to town together..." Mjuro and Elandros both turned around in time to see a human girl of around eleven years of age whose brown hair was done up into a one-sided pony tail, smiling at them as she extended two ball-shaped objects in their directions, and then all at once a light shot out and ensnared them, each one from a different sphere, and then all at once they felt themselves being drawn into their prisons, compressed inside the dimensional folds of a device that digitally recorded their mass and stored them for later retrieval. "Thank the dark gods...!" were the words Mjuro managed to utter before being engulged in a womb-like solitude that was warm and protective, away from the perils of the outside world...and most especially...the terror known as women! The young child smiled as she pocketed the two balls at her belt, then pulled out a pencil and pad and began to check off a couple of lines then smiled, "That's two more for my collection. At this rate I'll be a Pokegirl Master, having my very own certified demons." "Now what do you think about my bush, you plagiarist?" Mikami was snarling as she rubbed her crotch up and down against Ayaka's, "My bush hot enough for you, Copycat? If not, then I can turn the heat up until you're screaming for me to eat you out!" "I think we can leave these two alone for now, eh Pikachu?" said the girl---whose name was Kasumi (or Misty in the English Translated version)---to her yellow-furred companion, who just then detached itself from the shadows. "Pikachu?" the little cat-like striped creature responded, glancing over at the two adult women with a puzzled look that seemed to imply that they were some weird new type of creature. "Oh, never mind that," Kasumi dismissed with a wave of one hand, "Adults are always doing that to one another...gets a little tiresome after a while, not to mention yucky..." Ayaka was doing her level best to hold on as Mikami continued to straddle her, then without warning she felt her notorious rival grasp Ayaka by one ankle and begin to give her a foot-massage with a tongue that was eager to probe between the arch, ball of one joint, and slowly work her way to the toes for "special attention," at which point Ayaka lost it and began to experience the first of several orgasms... "Sure hope I don't turn out like that when I hit puberty," Kasumi sniffed, "They really aren't setting a very good example for us younger kids, but that's the trouble with adults, all they think about is sex rather than important stuff, like toys and candy." "Pikachu!" the yellow-furred creature said in total agreement. "Serve those two right if they make a baby together," Kasumi remarked as she turned away, "I've heard some adults can still do that, but I really don't understand what's so big about motherhood? Guess it's one of those things I'll figure out when I get older..." All at once Ayaka turned the tables on her tormentor, flipping Mikami onto her back before rolling on top of her and spreading the other Ghost Sweeper's legs in order to get at the "goods" without interference. "Now let's see who's the imitation here, witch!" Ayaka snarled before diving in and going for the pink "meat" with a hungry vengeance. Mikami's only response was to throw back her head and gasp in amazement as a tongue speared her hot, well-lubricated vagina, and then she surrendered her body utterly to the randy redhead as Ayaka hungrily devoured the other woman's sex, giving back in full measure some of the sweet devotion that she had been receiving from her nominal rival. "Pikachu?" the striped yellow creature murmured faintly. "Oh, don't worry," Kasumi reassured, "They won't hear us. You could drop a bomb off in the next room and they'd never bat an eyelash...like my friend Jesse when she forgets about chasing me around trying to steal my Pokemon and instead goes at it with a Nurse Jane or Policewoman Betty..." "GAAAH!" Mikami suddenly cried out, clearly on the edge of a glorious climax the likes of which would soon shake the rafters. "Guess we'd better go," Kasumi remarked as she headed for the exit, "Before somebody charges those two with child pornography, or statutory rape, or whatever the heck it is that still ticks off the blue noses..." "Pikachu?" "What are they? Just a really annoying type of pest we've gotta catch if we want to complete my collection," Kasumi answered, "They tend to get on podiums and make loud boastful claims while trying to sell you stuff that they say will buy you eternal salvation, but deep down they only care about themselves and live to screw others of their hard-earned pensions. You'll know them if you stand downwind of them, they smell of hypocrisy and false moralisms, but they don't practice what they preach and sure don't preach what they practice. They exist in every culture and loudly proclaim themselves to be paragons of virtues, but the truth is that they can't keep their blue noses out of other people's business. They're a dying breed these days, but when you meet one you'll swear that one's too much for any breeding population..." "Pikachu?" "Who needs them? You got me," Kasumi shrugged, "But I never was all that much into collecting parasites with false promises and even more bogus hype. But I guess there are some adults who get attracted to all the wrong things for all the wrong reasons. Me, I prefer shopping for my religion...and just as soon as I turn these two in for the reward I'll have enough in my account to buy a new set of dresses, and maybe enough ice cream to last until the next century...won't that be terrific?" "Pikachu!" the little creature agreed as it followed its mistress from the building and away from the sounds of an increasingly intense "breeding" session that was still going on behind them, and would likely continue that way well into the morning... * * * Ranma stared in amazement at the nine-inch claws sprouting from the clenched fists of the leather-clad new arrival. She could tell just by looking that those deadly blades were not being held like normal "tiger-claws" but rather extended from within the body of the shaggy biker-babe presently glaring at them all as though to dare her to test their sharpness. There were three claws on each hand, each extending out from the joint separating each knuckle, which left Ranma to wonder if it hurt like hell for the woman to pop them out the way she had, which might well account for the way that woman was snarling, though it also seemed to Ranma as though the fierceness on display were almost maternal in nature, like a wild thing defending its cub from other predatory creatures. The girl who had defeated Akane had called this woman her "dad," but that plainly was not right since Ranma was keen to observe the numerous Bishonen traits that would place the older woman as a hermaphrodite and not a woman, as Ranma had previously mistaken her for being. She looked from the clawed woman to the younger girl and saw honest fear in the latter's expression, but not fear of the new arrival since she edged closer to the one who was obviously her parent and tried to speak soothingly in the tones one might use to try and calm a snarling creature. "Dad...it's all right, you don't need to threaten anybody," she urged, "I'm not presently in any danger..." "That's good," the other woman remarked as she stood less defensively, and then retracted the claws back into her hands as if relaxing a muscle, "Because if somebody doesn't start talking and explaining what this is all about then they're the ones who're gonna be in trouble..." "Um...who are you?" Akane asked nervously, finding herself suddenly the focus of the older woman's fierce glare. "Name's Logan," the woman---no, make that hermaphrodite---replied, "And this is my adopted daughter, Yashida Akiko...and you are, Miss...?" "Ah...Akane," Akane replied nervously, "Tendo Akane." "Tendo?" the older woman frowned slightly, "I know that name from somewhere...so, what's the business about you and the rest of these gits?" A sweeping snort by the leather-clad woman clearly indicated the sports-clad students, both prone and upright, who were littered about the school yard, most particularly Kodachi, to whom the stranger named Logan now turned the focus of her attention. "Ah...well...it's kind of a long story," Akane nervously chuckled and rubbed the back of her head while glancing at Akiko and seeming to take a fresh appraisal of the pony-tailed beauty. "Try me," Akiko urged, "And make it short. Dad's got a limited attention span..." "I heard that," Logan glared at his daughter, albeit with more affection in her expression than she had shown to either Akane or Kodachi. "Well," Akane reluctantly began, "It started out at the beginning of last semester when...Kodachi here made this really stupid vow before the student body..." "It was not a 'stupid' vow," Kodachi haughtily protested, "I was proclaiming my undying love for you, my sweet Akane-chan..." "Love?" Akane snorted, "You told everybody that I'd only be available to date with them if I let one of them beat me up before the entire class!" "I may have let slip the fact that only the strongest and worthiest among them should even consider courting your affections," Kodachi persisted. "You made me make that stupid promise that I'd go out on a date with the first one who could defeat me in battle!" Akane waved her hands in illustration of her frustration. "You what?" Akiko blinked. "So, everybody who wants a taste of my snatch comes after me in the morning and they try to gang-bang me before classes start!" Akane yelled in vexation. "Say what?" murmured Logan. "What are you so worried about, Akane-chan?" Kodachi asked reasonably, "Not a one of them is skilled enough to take you on, even when fighting en masse rather than individually, as would be the more honorable custom. Only I, Kuno Kodachi, am worthy enough to be your matrimonial opponent..." "You're the worst of them by far!" Akane snorted, "I've been trying to tell you for months that I'm not interested in settling down with you. I mean, sure the sex between us is great, but that's not enough to form a more permanent union, and I've already got my heart set on another." "Uh..." Ranma raised an inquiring finger and said, "Let me get this straight..." "You promised to go out with a girl who could beat you up, Sugar?" Ukyo asked. "What so strange about that?" Shampoo inquired reasonably, "Sound normal to this one..." "Uh oh," Logan slowly turned about and gave the purple haired girl a closer study, "Um...lemme guess...you're Nyanchiczu?" Shampoo blinked at this then said, "How you know about this one's people?" "That's what I was afraid of," Logan grumbled, "Good thing the old witch ain't here or she'd probably be after me to honor that commitment I made when I was a lot younger and way more stupid..." "Commitment?" Akiko asked, "What commitment was that, Daddy?" "Never mind," Logan said with a bit more haste than she had intended, turning instead back to Akane before saying, "I take it you're a real popular number around this place?" "Not that I want to be, but yes," Akane sighed, "For some reason or other guys always want to get under my skirt and check what's beneath my panties." "At least you're wearing 'em," Logan sniffed, "I take it you're a skirt-chaser by nature instead o' choice?" "I'm a full dyke, yeah," Akane proclaimed openly, "But if you're worried about your daughter here, then don't be. I'm already committed." "But you promised to date the one who defeated you in battle, Akane-chan," the blonde cheerleader known as Mariko pointed out, "And much though I'd rather that was me, the fact remains that it was this knew girl who got you to cry uncle." "Hah?" Akiko replied with rounded eyes as she and Akane exchanged nervous glances. "Yes," the hakama-clad Seiko declared as she brandished her bokken, "And we still have yet to teach this upstart the meaning of poaching on our turf..." SHNICKT! All at once Seiko stared in dismay as her bokken tumbled to the ground in four separate pieces, then she caught the warning glare from the Herm named Logan and hastily amended, "However...fairness and honor do concede that she is entitled to enjoy the spoils that we all were after..." "Don't matter what you all promised or not," Logan sniffed, "Akiko never promised nothing here, so she ain't honor-bound to date anybody not of her choosing." "Dad," Akiko chided, "That's a double-negative. Haven't mom and me warned you about that?" "Don't get snippy with me, Kid," Logan sniffed, "You're not so big that I can't still turn you over my knee." "I'd like to see you try it, Old Man," Akiko grinned back as though exchanging an affectionate barb with her most dangerous parent, but then she hastily sobered and said, "I won't force anyone to date me who was compelled to make a stupid promise to somebody who obviously needs therapy. So you don't have to worry about anything...um...Akane was it then?" "Now see here!" Kodachi protested, only to back away as Logan popped her claws again, which made the haughty girl rethink her objectives. "Thanks," Akane smiled back at the new girl, instantly liking her for more than just her remarkably good looks and courteous manners, "But a promise is a promise, and if I let you off the hook then I'll never hear the end of it from Kodachi and the others. I mean...one date isn't all that much, right? And since we hardly even know each other it's not like we're going to wind up screwing." "Ah...heh...yes...right," Akiko nervously swallowed. "Well, I guess that settles that," Ranma shrugged, turning to Akane, "Are all your mornings as fun-filled as this one?" "Actually," Akane rather sheepishly replied, "Until she showed up...it was pretty much average," she nodded in Logan's direction. "That's some life you lead, Sugar," Ukyo shrugged, "Not much to my tastes, but I guess it's good for training." "Is very good training," Shampoo nodded in agreement, "Sister-in-law make fine Amazon, just need a bit of teaching from great-grandmother." "Hey, how about that, Akane?" Nabiki quipped, "Think maybe Shampoo-chan's granny will take you on as another student?" "Granny?" Logan took the cigar that she had been about to light from between her lips, looking once again at the purple haired girl with a questioning expression. "Shampoo-chan's great-grandmother is the leader of her tribe, the Joketsuzoku," Kasumi supplied happily as she came to stand beside her fiancées and sisters, "Isn't that nice?" "The Joketsu...you've gotta be kidding me," Logan paled, then at once turned her gaze in search of her motorcycle, "Uh...sorry to butt in and all, kids...thought Aki-chan might be havin' a little problem adjustin' on her first day, but obviously she's on top o' things like always, so if you don't mind me takin' a powder..." "Dad?" Akiko blinked, unable to comprehend the odd tone of nervousness in the voice of her adopted parent. After all, her father did not run from anything, nor did she know the meaning of the word fear, so for her to be displaying this degree of almost panic... "And where, precisely, do you think that you are headed?" Logan froze in mid-stride, then very slowly turned her head to gaze in the direction of the speaker, at which point she swallowed thickly and murmured, "Oh bugger..." "Great-grandmother?" Shampoo gasped as her blue haired elder stepped forward, having appeared from seeming no where in the company of her blonde-haired wife. "Well, well, well," Cologne slowly drawled as she regarded a nervous Logan with an inquisitive expression, "Look who the winds of fate have blown into our lives once again, Airen...your long-lost vanished husband." "Husband?" the younger girls replied in chorus, including Ranma, who turned their gaze from the Amazon matriarch to her wife, the equally comely Amazon Archmage. "Hello Airen," Siren said softly as she regarded the hermaphrodite with a curious expression, "Long time no see." "Ah..." Logan wilted slightly under the blue-eyed gaze of the other woman then swallowed, "Siren...lookin' good, kid...been a while...heheh..." "I've been wondering what you were up to these days since I didn't receive any psychic notification of your untimely demise," Siren said pleasantly, "It's good to see how well you have coped with a few...changes to your appearance. In point of fact, I would say that you have never looked better." Logan fairly wilted under the comment, and if Akiko had not known her adopted "father" was incapable of the emotion she would have thought her expression conveyed a mortal fear far beyond mere physical peril. "Shampoo confused," the purple haired girl said as she glanced from one adult to the other, "You say she is Airen to you Airen, great-grandmother? But would that also mean that she is you Airen?" "Not quite, child," Cologne replied, "There is quite a long story involved here concerning how my wife and her husband once met, but it is hardly relevant to the affairs that you young people are concerned about, so let the matter go for now and we'll save on the explanations." "Look," Ranma spoke up, "I don't wanna seem out of line and all that, but if we're done with all this business about who Akane is dating, would anybody mine if the rest of us get to class on time? After all, it's almost eight already," she pointed up at the clock tower where the big and little hands were nearly in the eight o'clock position. "Oh great," Akane winced, "That's all I need now to stand in the hallway holding buckets of water..." "So much for my perfect attendance record," Nabiki shrugged in a philosophical manner. "How about us, Sugar?" Ukyo asked, "This is a heck of a way for Ranchan and me to start our first day of classes, and Shampoo here deserves to set a good first impression seeing as she's from China." "That's not the only thing that needs fixing right now," someone else said just then, diverting attention in yet a wholly new direction. "Yuka-chan?" Akane gasped as she turned around and found the pair standing a short distance from her side, "Sayuri-chan? But where did you..." "Akane...we need to talk," said the shorthaired girl of the duo in question. "Alone...and right now," the other girl urged, "And never mind being late for home room, this is way more important." "Uh...right, sure guys," Akane said uneasily, sensing something very wrong in the way her two closest friends were regarding her, and the seriousness that she read in their expressions. "If you two have something to say to my Akane-chan..." Kodachi began to assert by way of establishing her own territorial claims in the matter. "Butt out, Kuno-san," one girl glared back at her sharply. "We've had enough of you interfering in our love lives," the second girl said, "And this is strictly between us and Akane, so give us a little distance." So heated were their declarations of intent that even Kodachi was momentarily taken aback, but Akane was even more worried, sensing something in the demeanor of her two friends that would not at all be to her liking. "Um..." Akiko glanced at Akane, "Catch up with you later? I mean...to talk about this date thing?" "Oh...sure," Akane nervously replied, "Later," but then she followed Yuka and Sayuri as they headed off to a different part of the campus, her step like one of the condemned going off to await her sentence. Despite her own worries Logan could not help but notice the anxious expression in the face of her own adopted daughter and said, "You make a new friend already, kid?" "Hey, it's not like that, Daddy," Akiko insisted, "I just...well...she seems like a nice enough person, and I hope I didn't cause trouble with her girlfriends." "Whatever," Logan shrugged, "It's your life and I won't try to interfere, unless it gets too complicated. You're a big enough girl now to look after yourself, but if you ever want some advice, you know where to come...and I don't mean your aunt Yuriko neither." "You think I'm crazy enough to take her advice on how to live my life?" Akiko quipped with a faintly amused expression, "I love aunt Yuriko well enough, but that doesn't mean I want to be just like her." "Interesting," Siren spoke up once again, "I can see we have some catching up to do of our own, Logan-san. Cologne and I have a place that we've set up for ourselves in the Furinkan financial district. Feel free to drop by and we'll discuss old times and new together...isn't that right, Airen?" "Count on it," the blue-haired Cologne assured in tones that were neither openly hostile nor particularly friendly, but with nonetheless set the hackles at the back of Logan's neck to rising. "Great-grandmother?" Shampoo asked in growing bewilderment. "As I said, I will explain at another time, my dear," Cologne informed her heir, "But for now...stay with your own Airen and we'll speak again after your classes. After all, Logan-san, you have certain responsibilities now, and we would not think of intruding upon your duties." "Huh?" Logan blinked, "How did you know about...?" "We're psychic, remember?" Siren grinned, "But don't even think of skipping town or trying to avoid our big reunion since you know that we both can find you no matter where you hide, Airen...and I assure you...if you make my wife work for it then our meeting will not be half so pleasant." With that the blonde enchantress made a series of hand gestures, then all at once she and Cologne vanished from the scene in a flash of brilliant light, leaving only gawking spectators to wonder at what miracle they had just beheld, or to pass it off as a trick of the senses brought about by one too many conks on the noggin. "Well, that was sure weird," Nabiki remarked, turning towards Logan and saying, "What did they mean just now when they said you have duties to fulfill, Mister...?" "Call me Logan," Logan replied, "Though I've recently adopted the family name of Yashida, which belongs to my wife, whose gonna skin me alive if she finds out I let you get roped into dating strange girls, half-pint." "Hey, it wasn't like it was my idea or nothing," Akiko protested, then added as a side-note, "Um...does mom have to know? I mean...right away? At least until after I've had a chance to talk to this Akane and work something out that gets us both off the hook?" "Sounds like the safest route for both of us," Logan mused, turning to glance towards Ranma, and then out of curiosity she asked, "What's eating you, kid? Got something you want to add here?" "Who me?" Ranma blinked, "Naw...just wondering is all. I mean...you used to be a guy, right? That's why Akiko-san keeps referring to you as her pop and somebody else as her mother." "You're sharper than you look...miss...?" Logan deliberately let the question hover in the air as a none-too-subtle gesture. "Saotome Ranma," the pigtailed girl replied, indicating the others in her party, "And these are my iinazuke, Kuonji Ukyo, Xian-Pu and the Tendo sisters, Nabiki and Kasumi." "Four of 'em, huh?" Logan sniffed, only to double-take and say, "Did you say...Saotome?" "Uh oh," Ukyo winced, sensing a familiar uneasiness as she caught the dismay in the strange woman's hard expression. "What's mom done this time?" Ranma sighed fatalistically, prepared for the worst by a lifetime of having to make hasty explanations for her only parent. "Yer mom..." Logan hesitated then said, "Her name wouldn't happen to be...Saotome Nodoka...right?" "Uh oh," Nabiki frowned, "Don't tell us she owes you some money?" "Ah...nothing like that," Logan averred, pulling out another cigar as she attempted to light it, only to wince as yet another presence made itself known in the form of a stunningly beautiful woman exiting the main school building. "What is the meaning of this?" said the incredibly breathtaking new arrival, who instantly became the focus of attention for everyone else present, "Why are you delinquents standing about when you ought to be in your classes? And why are so many of you taking a nap this early in the morning?" "Who are you, lady?" Ranma asked as she took in the buxom older woman in the yellow dress, marveling at how stunning she was with legs that stretched long and taunt from the bottom of her hem-line, to say nothing of the way the sun seemed to gleam off of her long mane of chestnut colored hair. "I am Ninamiya Hinako, homeroom teacher and school disciplinarian, YOUNG lady," she arched the word as she shot a glare in Ranma's direction, then shifted her gaze back towards Logan, "And you...you are obviously not a student, so why are you here on this campus? And I'll have you know we have a no-smoking policy, so that cigar is unacceptable..." "I've got my reasons for both, ma'am," Logan said, reaching into her jacket and pulling out a folded sheet of paper, which same she extended in the other woman's direction, "Have a look and you'll figure it all out." "Hmph," the teacher said prettily as she stepped forward and accepted the paper, then unfolded it and read the letter-head, only to get round-eyed as she read the signature at the bottom. "Comes directly from the district supervisor," Logan explained, "Hope everything looks official?" The change in the demeanor of the school disciplinarian was astonishing to behold, for she all but stood to military attention and bowed formally towards Logan before saying, "Of course, Koucho-sama, and may I say what an honor it is for me to be the first to welcome you to Furinkan High School?" "We'll save the formalities for later," Logan replied, shrugging to indicate the rest of the young women gathered around them, "But since I'm not formally in charge just yet, think I could ask you to do me a little favor and give these kids a pass from morning detention?" "But of course," Miss Hinako replied, "If you say it must be so, then I will arrange for them to be given hall passes. But may I ask why?" "'Cause it's my first day and I need to sort a few things out before we get down to brass tacks," Logan replied, "Trust me, there's gonna be a few significant changes around here, and I'm gonna need your help if we're to restore some discipline to the student body." "I will do all that is within my power to cooperate, ma'am," Miss Hinako assured, "And more than is required if it means bringing an end to this morning chaos," she sniffed and glared specifically at Kodachi. "Dad?" Akiko asked, favoring her elder with a puzzled expression. "I was getting around to telling you, kid," Logan replied, "You see...I didn't just show up to spy on you and see you made it through your first day and all that. The truth is...your mother asked me to take over. Seems there was an opening at the top here that needed filling, and...well, you know how when your mother does things she tends to get a big carried away, so she pulled a few strings and got me appointed to fill the slot here." "Which is?" Ranma asked her. "That I'm the new principal," Logan replied, casting a glance at the astonished faces all around her before adding, "Anybody got a problem with that...?" CONTINUED. Comments/Criticisms/Weapons of Fuzzy Math Obstruction: shadowmane@msn.com Next time up Akane tries to put her personal affairs in order, while Ranma and his crew seek to get through a day of class without being roped into a mass orgy by their fellow students, and back at the lair of the Hibikis a certain girl named "Ryoko" learns a hidden truth that will change her whole existence, while her mother meanwhile looks up some old acquaintances of her own in, "The Incredible Hunk," or, "Femme Fatalle Fury!" Be there!