It had been a few weeks since the 'Passion Dumpling Incident', as the Tendous had come to refer to it, and Nodoka Saotome was becoming rather concerned. Ranma had been so manly for Akane that night! He had been manly for her till at least four A.M., because that's when Nodoka remembered hearing the last of the screams. Afterwards, however, Ranma seemed to have no memory of the incident and had beaten both his father and father-in-law senseless over the wedding plans the two had been building. Akane, who seemed rather enthusiastic about the whole thing afterwards, had not been able to catch Ranma again so that he could re-prove how manly he could be. This would not do, Nodoka thought to herself. Now, how best to correct the situation? "Ranma-chan? Where are you, Ranma-chan?" ------------------------------ PINK LEMONADE Nodoka the Queen ~or~ Furo Follies A Lemon/Lime Spritzer by Chris Jones ------------------------------ Ranma was busy scrubbing off when she heard the door to the bathroom open. "I'm in here!" she shouted. Geez! Sharing a single bathroom with no fewer than six people, seven when Ryouga was around, *really* sucked. He really did need to talk to Akane's father about getting a schedule in place. There were a few scuffling sounds in the changing room, so Ranma turned to the door and shouted again, "I'm in here! And I'm *bathing*! As in, *I'm Undressed*! You shouldn't come in unless-- YIPE!!" There is a sight that, rather confusingly, no man really wants to see even though it can be extremely beautiful or arousing under the right circumstances. For Ranma, the sight of her smiling, naked mother was really, really, uncomfortable. *Face FRONT!!!!* Ranma screamed in her own head. She jerked completely upright and turned her head towards the furo so that he wouldn't be able to see. She suddenly realized what the term 'Mother Naked' could be referring to. "Ranma-chan! Would you like me to wash your back?" Nodoka asked as she hung her towel on a convenient hook next to the door. "Na-na-na-na-na-NO! No, Mom! I'll be okay, really! Really!" Ranma stammered. *Oh, god! She's bein' all weird again!* "Oh, Ranma-chan! You're so silly. It's no wonder all the girls like you so much!" Ranma gulped audibly as he heard the tell-tale splash of footsteps behind her. She could feel her mother's warm breath on her back as the woman began to lather up a wash-cloth. She dare not look backwards in case she saw something that she didn't want to. "So muscular, even when you're a girl," Nodoka stated in a quiet tone as she began to scrub. "You'll be such a good husband for Akane-chan." Ranma gasped as the washcloth touched her back and began to scrub up and down, propelled by gentle, slender fingers. "M-m-m-m-m-m..." "Is something wrong, Ranma-chan?" Nodoka asked, her lips just above Ranma's ear. The girl could feel her mother's breath rush past her ear. The sensation was almost tingling. "You're trembling, dear one. Are you cold?" "No!" Ranma yelped. Nodoka nonetheless leaned closer to Ranma and wrapped her arms around the smaller girl, crushing her into Nodoka's ample bosom. Ranma's eyes bugged out and her jaw locked close. "Now, let's wash your front," Nodoka stated. She lowered one hand and brought the washcloth around to Ranma's neck and began to scrub. The cloth, and Nodoka's slender, probing fingers darted lower and lower until--- "YAHHH! I already washed there!" Ranma proclaimed, horrified at the fingers that were running back and forth across her nipples. She began to struggle, but Nodoka's grip tightened. Ranma felt Nodoka's knees press up against her waist, holding her down on the short stool. She cupped Ranma's breasts and began to squeeze them with soapy fingers. "Oh, but we have to make sure to get everything clean, or you'll be smelly. You wouldn't want to be smelly for Akane, would you?" Nodoka asked in a quiet whisper, directly into Ranma's ear. Ranma began to shake. Nodoka giggled quietly and let her hands dart lower, soaping Ranma's midsection. "Now, spread your legs just a bit so that mother can make sure you're all clean..." * * * Soun was just about to move in for the kill, taking no fewer than nine of Genma's go stones when the wet, soapy, and above all *naked* Ranma ran through the front-room screaming her head off. One soapy foot landed right in the middle of the playing board sending black and white stones flying in all directions. One impacted Soun in the forehead and adhered for several seconds with soapy water. "Oh... my..." Genma muttered. Seconds later, Nodoka came running through the front room, also naked as the day she was born, chasing after Ranma with a bar of soap and a washcloth. "Wait, Ranma-chan! Mother hasn't finished bathing you yet!" Genma had a nosebleed and passed out. Soun rose and plucked the wet go stone from his forehead. He walked out the open shoji to the dojo. Inside, he knelt and began praying in front of the family altar. When that didn't work, he took a bamboo shinai from the rack and began to beat himself about the head and face. "Impure thoughts! Impure thoughts!" * * * To say Akane was shocked when a wet, soapy, naked Ranma burst into her room was an understatement. "Ranma? What the *hell* are you doing?" "Hide me, Akane! Please!" Ranma shouted. Still shaking, The red-head whimpered and dove into Akane's closet. Seconds later, Nodoka burst into the room, every bit as naked as Ranma had been. She looked around wildly, with a burning expression. "Akane-chan," Nodoka breathed heavily. "Have you seen my darling son?" "Ah... no. No, Aunty," Akane lied. "I haven't seen Ranma. Uhh..." She gulped, seeing Nodoka's rather impressive attributes for the first time. "Maybe he ahh... ahh... went to the library to study?" "Well, that's not very manly, is it?" Nodoka said in exasperation. Akane couldn't help but grimace. Sure Aunty Nodoka was a little, well... STRANGE, but this was bizarre! "Maybe he's peeping on girls somewhere?" Akane said in a questioning tone. Nodoka's expression brightened considerably. "Yes... My Ranma-chan would do that sort of thing. He's so manly and virile!" "Hey!" A voice came from the closet. "What was that?" Nodoka asked. Akane picked a dumbbell up off her floor and hurled it through the closet, where Ranma's voice had come from. There was a muffled squeak of pain. "Cockroach," Akane said, her expression narrowing. "I'll have to get Kasumi to get some traps. In the meantime, I'll just use my mallet." "Oh, wonderful!" Nodoka said. "I'll go try to find my son. You help Kasumi take care of the house. It will be your responsibility one day, after all." Akane sighed and shook her head. "Maybe you should dry off and put some clothes on before you leave the house, Aunty." "Hmm, what a good idea, Akane-chan. I wouldn't want any of those naughty, violent boys that Ranma plays with to get any ideas about me." Akane just blinked. Ranma waited for several minutes to pass before she stuck her head back out of the closet. "Is she gone?" the naked redhead asked. Akane, still staring at the door in shock, nodded her head. "Geez, Ranma. You're mom is weird." Ranma exhaled heavily. "It's really starting to frighten me." "Maybe you should talk to Doctor Toufuu," Nabiki said from the open doorway. She was holding a camcorder. "N-n-nabiki?" Akane and Ranma asked in unison. "You didn't tape all that did you?" Ranma asked meekly. "Most of it," Nabiki admitted. "Although, I didn't get any of what went on in the bathroom. I'm certain that Kunou-chan would find this most interest--" "No!" Ranma yelled, cutting the girl off. "What do I have to do?" "Five thousand yen for the tape," Nabiki offered with a smile on her face. "And that's with the family discount." "Nabiki!" Akane protested. "How could you?" "I'm just bad, I guess," the taller girl said. "Really though, Ranma, I think you should talk to Doctor Toufuu. That's just not normal behavior." "M-maybe," Ranma said. * * * A few days later, Ranma, Akane, and Nabiki waited patiently in Toufuu's waiting room. After being gone only a few minutes, the doctor came out, holding a manilla folder in front of him. "Is that it?" Nabiki asked. Toufuu nodded. "It was difficult to get, and it really should stay confidential, but this is Nodoka Saotome's medical history. I wouldn't share it with all of you unless you were family or about to be, anyway," Toufuu said, a cautioning tone in his voice. "So what's the scoop, Doc?" Ranma asked. "Is there anything in there that would explain why my mom was being... being... being... so..." "Perverted?" Akane finished. Toufuu shrugged. "There are a few things that might... First of all, Nodoka had you when she was relatively young, Ranma. She's only thirty right now, so--" "Fourteen years old," Nabiki calculated. "Wow, what an early bloomer. Akane still thought boys were yucky last year when she was fifteen." "Nabiki!" "The dirty old man!" Ranma snapped. "What a perv! Taking advantage of such a young girl" "Well, at least we know that you come by it honestly," Akane chided him. "Secondly, and perhaps most importantly," Toufuu stated, "Your mother has a rare but fairly well documented hormone imbalance, Ranma. From the information here, I believe that your mother may be a nymphomaniac." "Nintendo-what?" Ranma demanded. "Nymphomaniac," Nabiki explained. "It mean's she'll bonk anything on two legs, right doctor?" "Wow, Ranma!" Akane said, a hint of surprise in her voice. "You really *are* a pervert by birth!" "Shut up, Akane!" "Well, I wouldn't have put it so bluntly," Toufuu said. "Essentially, it means that Nodoka Saotome is in a constant state of sexual arousal due to the hormone imbalance, and has been since early puberty. It would account for her wild behavior and early... *ahem*... maturation. Ahem." Toufuu cleared his throat for several seconds. "GROWF!!!" The giant panda growled as he burst into the clinic. *IT'S TRUE!* his sign read. *THE WOMAN IS INSATIABLE!* "What the hell are you doing here, Pops?" Ranma asked in irritation. *FROM THE FIRST DAY I MET HER, NODOKA HAS BEEN TRYING TO GET ME IN BED! THE WOMAN HAS THE STAMINA OF GODZILLA ON VIAGRA.* "It also says that Nodoka had a tubal ligation when she was sixteen," Toufuu said quietly. "Huh?" Ranma asked. "She had her tubes tied so that she couldn't have any more children," Nabiki said, realizing that Ranma really didn't know what the phrase meant. "Most doctors won't do that unless a woman is over thirty or already has more than one child." *SHE TRIED TO SEDUCE THE SURGEON ONLY *HOURS* AFTER THE SURGERY,* Genma's sign read. *NO ONE MAN IS POWERFUL ENOUGH TO SATISFY THAT WOMAN'S LUSTS! CAN YOU BLAME ME FOR TAKING RANMA AWAY ON THE TRAINING JOURNEY WHEN I DID? I WOULD HAVE LASTED ONLY A FEW MORE YEARS AT BEST* "You're kidding, right?" Ranma asked. *I THOUGHT THAT SHE HAD FINALLY GROWN OUT OF HER INSANE LUSTS WHEN I RETURNED, BUT AFTER THE 'PASSION DUMPLINGS', I CAN'T KEEP HER OFF ME! I'M DYING HERE, BOY!* Genma reached over and pulled a kettle off a hotplate on the doctor's desk. He was changed and dressed in the blink of an eye. "Ranma," the bald man pleaded. "If your mother has turned her attentions toward you, you *must* satisfy her! I simply don't have the stamina any more. I'm not as young as I used to be!" "Yuuck!" Ranma groaned. "That's sick, Uncle Saotome!" Akane said, brandishing her mallet. "Ranma wouldn't do any such thing! Would you?" Ranma was quietly dry-heaving in the corner. "I think I have a naughty romance novel like that," Nabiki murmured. "*Very* naughty, as a matter of fact." As Akane was demolishing her father-in-law to be, Toufuu coughed and began to speak. "AAnnnyyyway, what happened to Ranma might just be a symptom of her increased arousal. As your physician, Ranma, I can pretty safely advise *against* committing incest with your mother. In fact, she may not even realize she's making you so uncomfortable." "Die, you perverted old thief!" Akane yelled, pounding Genma's head through the hardwood floor. "This is for taking advantage of young women! And This is for getting Ranma's mother pregnant when she was only thirteen!" "Fourteen," the crumpled blob protested. "Her birthday's right after Ranma's." "And this is for leeching off my family for an entire year..." Akane continued, undaunted. "I recommend talking to your mother," Toufuu said to Ranma. "Try to make her understand that the way she's acting is making you uncomfortable. She's an intelligent woman, so I'm certain she'll understand what you're talking about." "Maybe..." Ranma muttered. * * * Later that day, late evening actually, Ranma finally worked up the courage to speak to his mother again. It was an hour or so after dinner when he walked up the stairs to the guest room. He knocked on the door, and yelled loudly enough to be heard inside. "Mom? Are you in there? I'd like to talk to-- YIPE!" Nodoka slid the door open and stared at her son with heavily lidded eyes. Ranma didn't know the names for everything she was wearing, but it all fit under the category of 'Scary Vinyl Lingerie'. The ensemble began with a shiny black choker-necklace and traveled down her body to a merry-widow type cupless bustier made of the same material. There was just enough vinyl there to lift and support her breasts, but nowhere near enough to even have the *idea* of concealing the swell of her breasts or her firm, very erect nipples. The bustier ended in garters that traveled down over the top of a vinyl thong to hold lace stockings up on her legs. Also on her legs were knee-high black vinyl boots with heels that looked impossible to walk on. "Hello, Ranma-chan," Nodoka greeted him in a quiet, breathy voice. "Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah..." Ranma's mind shut down, leaving his mouth to work wordlessly. Behind her, Genma was hogtied on one of the futons in only his bandanna and a pair of polka-dot boxers. "Save me, boy!" he mouthed. Nodoka snapped the small cat-o'-nine-tails she was holding against her thigh playfully. "Do you like you're mother's outfit, Ranma-chan?" Nodoka asked. "Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah..." "Does it inspire you to be manly? I certainly hope it inspires your father to be manly. He hasn't been performing his husbandly duties very well lately." "Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah..." Nodoka cupped her pretty-much unclad breasts, almost shoving them in Ranma's face. "What you do think, Ranma-chan?" "Ah..." Self preservation finally kicked in. "Ah- gottagobyeseeyalatersayanorawasntimportantanywaybetteryouthanmePops!" Ranma zoomed off back down the hallway, leaving a pigtailed dust cloud in his wake. "Hmm... That boy is so shy. I'll *have* to put some more backbone into him," Nodoka declared. "Now, Genma..." "Yes dear?" the martial artist whimpered. "Let's see how well you perform your duties tonight, ne?" She snapped the leather flail again. Genma began to cry. * * * Akane had had enough! Ranma was *her* man! Err.. well... after the 'Passion Dumpling Incident', he had *better* damn well be her man. He sure as hell better not screw anyone else, especially not his own mother. As it was, Ranma had been running scared for almost a week. Worse, every time he went to take a bath, Nodoka was close behind, almost instantly driving Ranma from the bathroom. "Pathetic!" Akane thought out loud. Akane had had enough. That's why she had Ranma gagged and hogtied to her bed. The redhead screamed into the gag and struggled to get free, but Akane had tied her knots well. She also took the precaution of making sure she tied up a female Ranma rather than a male one, since Ranma would be much less likely to be able to break the ropes as a girl. "We'll settle this once and for all, Ranma," Akane declared. * * * "I'm getting in the bath!" Nodoka smirked evilly at the statement as she heard her son's... err... daughter's voice from the front room. She quickly located her bath things and made her way downstairs to the furo. By the time she entered the changing room, she could hear the water running in the other room, and see steam boiling out from under the door. She quickly yet carefully stripped down and slid the door open. The heater on the furo was set to the maximum level, causing steam to rush past her. In the foggy haze, she could just see her child's red pigtail in the middle of the room. "Ranma-chan," Nodoka breathed. "We never did finish washing you the other day." The pigtail twitched. Nodoka caught a glimpse of creamy-white shoulder, and couldn't help but smile. "Be a good boy and stay still so Mother can get you all clean." She knelt down behind the girl again, and brought a lathered cloth up to her back. Suddenly, the figure turned in the mist and grabbed Nodoka's wrist. "Who?" The girl yanked the pigtail, causing the red wig to fall away. Akane stood before her, holding her at arms length by her wrist. "This has got to stop, Aunty Saotome. If for no other reason than it's upsetting Ranma." "But Dear," Nodoka protested. "I'm just trying to be a good mother to my son. I didn't get to watch him growing up, so--" "No!" Akane yelled. "That's not it at all! You're getting too close to Ranma! He's mine, not yours! I won't let you take him from me." Akane blinked at her own statement, and felt tears begin to fill her eyes at the verbal admission. Nodoka's expression turned to a pout, but quickly changed back into a wicked smile. "Why... Akane-chan! I knew you felt strongly for my darling son, but I had no idea you would go to such lengths to protect him. My Ranma is truly manly if he can inspire such passion in you." "Aunty? Hey, it's not like that!" "Oh, but I think it is," Nodoka said. Before Akane realized what was going on, Nodoka had broken the wrist hold and spun Akane back around. Akane found herself pinned against the woman's breasts, and unable to struggle. "Oh, Akane... You're so inspiring! As a mother to a daughter- in-law, I feel so close to you right now!" "That's because you're feeling me up!" Akane yelled in protest as Nodoka began to gently knead the short-haired girl's breasts. "Oh, Akane! You're such a perfect wife for my darling Ranma- chan. I know that you'll perform all your wifely duties so well... Nnnn..." "Aunty... no... please!" Akane begged as Nodoka's hands began to roam up and down her torso. Her teeth clenched in panic, and she was blushing so deeply, it felt like her skin was on fire. Nodoka began to firmly ground her hips into Akane's buttocks. "Oh, Akane-chan," she purred into Akane's ear. "You're such a good daughter-in-law." One slender hand began to trail down Akane's firm stomach, and past her waist. "No, Aunty, please!" Akane struggled, but Nodoka's grip was like steel. With her free hand, Nodoka began to comb her fingers through Akane's thin delta. "Akane-chan," Nodoka whispered and started to suck Akane's earlobe. Almost forcefully, she pushed down lower and began to spread-- "NO!!!" Akane screamed, breaking free and belting the woman across the chin with a powerful uppercut. Screaming, she ran from the bathroom, almost breaking the door in the process. In the changing room, she knocked down Nabiki, who was standing by the door with a microphone. Sitting on the floor, Nodoka rubbed her sore chin and smiled. She stood and ran after the girl. * * * Genma was finally about to attempt his three-stone sneak when the wet and soapy foot impacted the go-board, once again sending black and white go stones flying. He glanced up in shock to see a completely nude Akane, streaming both soap suds and water as she ran past screaming. Seconds later, Nodoka stepped in the middle of the board as well, in quite the same state of dress she had been wearing the first time a similar incident occurred. "Come back here, Akane-chan!" Nodoka demanded. "I'm not done bathing you yet!" Genma blinked. Across from him, Soun blinked. Wordlessly, the two men rose and walked out to the dojo. Soun took two shinai and handed one to Genma. They began to beat each other around the face and head. "IMPURE THOUGHTS!" Soun declared. "WICKED THOUGHTS!" Genma agreed. "IMPURE THOUGHTS!" "WICKED THOUGHTS!" "IMPURE THOUGHTS!" "WICKED THOUGHTS!" Meanwhile, Akane dashed up the stairs and dodged into her room. She slammed the door shut and locked it behind her. For several seconds, she braced her back against it, mentally daring anyone to try to open it. Her chest still heaving, she noted the still hogtied Ranma staring at her naked body with wide, trembling eyes. "What are you looking at, Pervert?" Ranma whimpered pathetically into the gag she was wearing. Akane was about to start screaming, but the breath caught in her throat as she realized how much her body still felt like it was on fire. Everywhere that Nodoka touched her, Akane could still feel a lingering pressure. Worse, she could still feel the motion as the woman's fingers trailed down in between her-- "Ah--" Akane breathed. Ranma wondered what was wrong. Akane's eyes flashed with a mixture of anger and... and... Akane couldn't help but smile. Here she was, all hot and bothered, and there was Ranma, all tied up and mostly helpless. "Oh, Ranma-baka..." she cooed, stepping away from the door. Ranma's expression went from panic to terror. Akane giggled in a deep, throaty voice. "MMMPPPPHHHH!!!" "You don't have to be afraid, Ranma-baka! I'll be gentle," Akane promised, leaning over her captive and letting her naked breasts just touch Ranma's through her red chinese shirt. "MMMMMMPPPPPPHHHHHHHH!!!!" "Mmmm..." Akane pulled down the gag, but she didn't give Ranma the opportunity to scream. "Now," Akane said when she had finished sucking on Ranma's lips, "let's see how much of your clothes we can get off while you're tied up like this, ne?" "Akane..." Ranma croaked out in a stunned voice. "You're *really* going to like this, Ranma," Akane said quietly, gently stroking the redheaded girl's cheek, "And this time, you'll remember it, won't you?" "Eep!" * * * Nodoka smiled, and pulled her ear away from the bedroom door. That was more like it. She was certain that Ranma could be manly for Akane, even if he was a girl! Now, what to do... what to do? Genma had been wearing out a little quicker the last few days. If she didn't give him some time to rest, he might run away again. Nodoka put a finger to her lips in thought. Oh, yes, Nabiki certainly was getting into a lot of trouble lately. It wasn't very nice to tape people without their permission. A wicked element returning to her smile, Nodoka took a few barefoot steps down the hallway and skipped back down the stairs, bouncing gratuitously with every hop. She found Nabiki coming back through the front room carrying her tape recorder and microphone. Nabiki skidded to a stop, her jaw dropping in surprise at the nude woman standing before her. "Aunty..." "Nabiki-chan... would you like to take a bath with me?" Nabiki turned tail and ran. "Nabiki-chan! Come back so Aunty can bathe you!" "AAAAAHHHHH!!!" Nabiki was in for an interesting evening. ------------------------------ The cast of Ranma 1/2 was created by Rumiko Takahashi. They're used here without permission.