Neko Love 11. Two cats and One idiot

Author:

Disclaimer: I do not own Ranma!

Warning: I would not read this if you’re allergic to lemons or even the slightest bit of lime.

Chapter 11

Ryoga ran quickly through the baths. He held his nose tightly while trying to keep his mind clean. Ukyo was punching his back to keep him moving.

“Just stop gawking and move it!” Ukyo snapped. She smiled as nicely as she could at one of the ladies. “You didn’t happen to see a violent tomboy and a sex changing guy come through here by any chance?”

“Ahhhh!!!” The lady screamed. “PERVERT!!”

“I’m a girl actually!” Ukyo yelled back. She then paused as she noticed she was in her full battle uniform. Her chest was fully strapped up and she had her hair in a ponytail. “Never mind.” She grabbed Ryoga as he tried stuttering an apology and dashed out the hole in the wall. As they jumped down into some room there was a very distinct smell.

“Cats...” Ryoga growled.

They looked around the room. They were in some sort of cat kennels. There was hundreds of cats all around. The strange thing was that each and every one of them was silent.

“What’s going on?” Ukyo whispered.

“Um, they’re just cats.” Ryoga said not really understanding the question. Then the two heard a noise they dreaded. It was purring. They followed the sound to a corner in the room. There they saw something that was burned in both their minds forever.

Ranma was preening Akane’s hair. His tongue was licking her head lovingly and Akane was curled up purring.

“Ranma’s a guy now.” Ukyo whispered.

“Why are you whispering?” Ryoga asked quietly.

“We don’t want to startle them.” Ukyo gulped. She was feeling nauseous. “Ranma must have landed in one of the hot baths and straight into the cat kennels.”

“I never thought the Neko-Ken was real.” Ryoga said. “I thought it was a story Nabiki made up to sell.”

“Well there it is in full gross out glory.” Ukyo said. “We have to figure out a way to separate them.”

“Isn’t that an old song?” Ryoga growled. He wasn’t happy, Ranma was licking Akane. It wasn’t right, it was wrong. It went against everything in his universe. It was all Ranma’s fault and here was the proof. “I’ve got an even older one.... RANMA PREPARE TO DIE!!!”

The two Neko’s jumped to alert, shocked by the charging Ryoga.

There was a small faint moan behind him from Ukyo. “Ryoga you big oaf!”

It was too late Neko-Ranma saw the attack and pounced. He had a rival for his mate’s affections then he would take him out! His Ki claws lashed out at Ryoga. The lost boy managed to dodge the brunt of the attack but his shirt got ripped. If it had been anybody else they would have been torn to shreds but Ryoga had endured the bakusaitenketsu training. To him it was merely a scratch. He swung his umbrella round but Ranma jumped on top of it.

“Get off there and fight me like a man!” Ryoga snarled.

Neko-Ranma wasn’t listening to him. He tried giving out as much warning hissing and spitting. He dug his ki claws into the heavy umbrella and clung on.

“Just back off Ryoga you idiot!” Ukyo snapped.

Akane wasn’t having a good time. She was feeling horny and there were all these humans in the way. If only she could get past the scary one with the big flat thing. Then the spatula equipped woman charged at Ryoga. Akane saw her chance to escape. It was getting too crowded. She gave out a loud call for Neko-Ranma that she was leaving. Neko-Ranma saw his Akane jumping out of the small window. He dug his ki claws deeper into Ryoga’s umbrella. He was lashing it around trying to get Ranma off.

“Damn it Ranma, stop mucking around.” Ryoga growled. “Get off my umbrella so I can kill you!”

Ukyo swung her spatula down on the umbrella. She had to stop Ryoga and calm him down. The edge of her utensil sliced through Ryoga’s umbrella. Ranma leapt up into the air out of the way of Ukyo. His feet landed on the back of the lost boys’ head and he continued moving using Ryoga’s head as a springboard. Neko-Ranma bounced off his head and out the window after Akane. The force of his back-kick slammed Ryoga into the wall.

“Ryoga you moron they’re getting away!” Ukyo yelled.

Ryoga didn’t reply he was slightly dazed by the impact. He felt Ukyo pulling him free from the wall.

“We’ve got to hurry, they’ve both escaped.”

“.....” Ryoga remained silent he was too angry. Ranma was obviously taking advantage of the innocent Akane. It wasn’t her fault that she had been mentally turned into a perverted cat. It was all Ranma’s fault; it was always Ranma’s fault! He had somehow infected Akane with his diseased mind, making her think she was a cat as well. He wouldn’t let the perversity continue he would stop Ranma’s plan of having sex with Akane.

“Move it jackass!” Ukyo snarled. She wasn’t enjoying the self-reflection Ryoga was doing; it was wasting precious time. “I’ve got a plan, get a bucket of cold water it could be our only chance.”

She pointed to the hose and buckets. Ryoga moved towards them eagerly.

“Yes, if Ranma is turned female he can’t deflower Akane!”

“I’m not worried about Akane’s honour.” Ukyo growled, grabbing a bucket herself and filling it. “I’m more concerned with her stealing my Ran-Chan!”

“Do you think we’re too late?” Ryoga asked as he dashed outside with the buckets. He was being extra careful not to let a drop touch him. The last thing he needed was to turn into a pig in front of Ukyo. She would probably try to cook him or something.

“I dunno sugar but I think we’re gonna find out.” The pair could hear the yowling of Akane from around the corner. “Oh my word...” Ukyo gasped. Neko-Ranma had Akane were cuddling up together. She was rubbing her head up against Ranma and purring. Also her hips were rising up and down with her back legs padding the ground.

“Looks like Akane’s trying to seduce Ranma.” Ukyo whispered.

“It’s more like Ranma’s seducing Akane.” Ryoga growled. He gripped the bucket and through it at the pair of amorous cats. The pair saw the incoming water and dodged. They escaped and ran away from the humans. They were more interested in finding somewhere quiet than staying to fight.

“You still got a bucket darling?” Ukyo asked as she chased after them.

“Ranma will not get away with this!” Was Ryoga’s answer.

“I’ve got another plan, just try to distract them and I’ll throw my bucket.”

“Look!” They had found the two love cats. Somehow they both wished they hadn’t. Ranma had now mounted the yowling Akane. The only good thing was that they still were wearing their clothes.

“Ugh, I’m gonna be sick again.” Ukyo moaned. Neko-Ranma was pinning Neko-Akane down his hips. It was obvious to both the observers how hard Ranma was.

“How dare he!” Ryoga snarled. His anger controlling him again. He flung the last bucket of cold water at the two. They both rolled out of the way, more absorbed in each other than the water. Ryoga however wasn’t so lucky. He had thrown it against the wall but unfortunately it bounced back and sprayed him. The large muscular boy disappeared and was replaced with a furious black piglet.

“RYOGA?!” Ukyo yelled surprised by the sudden change. She was momentarily distracted by the realisation. “You’re P-Chan!?”

Ryoga/P-Chan held his head down in shame as Ukyo yelled at him.

“You dirty pig!” Ukyo screamed. “Akane takes you to bed! How could you do that when you go on about honour so much?!’

“BWEEE!” P-Chan squealed. Loosely translated meant ‘it was all Ranma’s fault.’

The pair were too busy bickering they forgot about the cats. Ranma had now ripped Akane’s lower part of her dress with his teeth. Akane didn’t object she yowled in agreement and lifted her hips. Neko-Ranma grabbed her large school panties and pulled them down. He was rewarded with Akane thrusting herself onto his face. Ranma didn’t complain, he could tell his mate needed cleaned. He slowly lapped his tongue up and down her small slit. Akane purred her pleasure as she felt the smooth wetness against her most sensitive part.

Both cats knew they should be getting down to business, as it where but there was another part that wanted to have some fun first. It could be over far too quickly if they just mated. There was somewhere inside each of them a human intellect. Something that knew they both cared deeply for each other. The best way the two cat possessed knew how to do that was by sex. By taking his time cleaning his mate he was showing her she wasn’t just a small object for him to rut with.

He explored her folds carefully, making sure he didn’t bite or nip. He made sure that her ‘fur’ was perfect. Then his mate chirped she was ready. Neko-Akane turned round and ripped Ranma’s loosely tied pants down. His obvious erection popped out and Akane licked the tip. She turned herself around and lifted her hips. Her arms down on the ground, supporting her weight. Neko-Ranma moved himself into position.

“Oh shit Ryoga!” Ukyo cried as she suddenly realised what was going on.

“Bwee!” Ryoga charged towards the two lovers/cats. He bit solidly down on Ranma’s ankle.

Ranma meowed loudly, annoyed at the sudden pain. He forgot about Akane for a second as he tried to deal with the annoyance. Akane turned round to attack as well. She did not like all these interruptions. She was horny and pissed off. Both cats moved in to gut the little pig.

Ukyo chucked her bucket of water. It sloshed over Akane and Ranma as they tried to take out P-Chan.

The now normal Akane screamed. She was wet and very much naked ‘down there’. Ranma shook the water off herself. He/she had now been returned to normal as well. The effects of the Neko-Ken had been somehow sated by his small actions with Akane. Plus the water was ice cold.

Ranma glanced at Akane and her nakedness. Then he did a really unmanly thing, he fainted.

“What...” Akane gasped as she was chilled to the bone. “..the hell....h-happened.” She looked at Ukyo. She was slightly relieved it was only her and P-Chan. She would have died if Ryoga was there as well as Ranma.

Ukyo covered P-Chan’s eyes. “Nothing to worry about sugar.” Ukyo said smiling. “The Pervert Neko Protectors saved you.”

“Ran-Ranma..” Akane stuttered looking at the unconscious redhead. *Did he see me naked again?*

“You’ll all be fine, let’s get you and Ran-Chan back to my restaurant.”

Akane grabbed some pants that were lying on the ground. “Whose are these?”

“Doesn’t matter, he’s not using them.” Ukyo said. “Now help me lift Ran-Chan, for such a small girl’s body he or she weighs a ton.”

“I think our next stop should be a certain Chinese restaurant.” Akane growled. “I have some herb medicine I want to take back.”

********

Meanwhile in an uptown part of Tokyo....

Kasumi nodded politely to the doorman as he stepped aside to let her in. The eldest Tendo was on a mission to see if the rumours that Akane and Ranma had told her this morning were true. She always believed the best in someone but she couldn’t fathom out what Nabiki had done. So she had traced her beloved independent sister to where she was hiding. It just happened to be a five star hotel that offered daytime spa treatments.

“Kasumi!” Nabiki cried from the Jacuzzi. “I hope you brought your swimming costume.”

“I thought you’d be here.” Kasumi said as sternly as she could. “You’ve got a bit of explanation to give me.”

“Only if you get in here with me.” Nabiki said smirking. “You need to take a break once and a while.”

“I don’t think so.” Kasumi stuttered. “I’d prefer to stay here.”

“It would make me happy.” Nabiki pouted. “You can borrow my spare swimsuit. I bought it thinking there might be too many lechers but it’s been pretty sparse here.”

Kasumi pulled out the swimsuit Nabiki was pointing to. It was a bit too revealing for Kasumi’s liking but if Nabiki wished her to join her.... A few minutes later a nervous Kasumi got in with her sister. A towel still wrapped around her.

“Honestly it’s women only here.” Nabiki said gently. “Now what have I done that is so horrible?”

Kasumi coughed. “The contract that you made father sign?”

“...and?” Nabiki said in a bored tone.

“The p-p- perverted video.”

“Hm-hmm.” Nabiki poured herself another glass of champagne.

“I can’t believe you did that to your own sister.” Kasumi scolded.

“It’s all in a good cause.” Nabiki said.

“Yourself doesn’t count.” Kasumi said her telling off voice still in use. “You can’t abuse your sister’s trust like this.”

“I’m keeping up my rep.” Nabiki explained. “I haven’t really distributed those video’s or even had that contract signed.”

She began laughing now and Kasumi felt a blush rush to her cheeks. She knew Nabiki did have a soft spot somewhere it was just really hard to find. Kasumi was just slightly embarrassed that she thought her sister really could be the devil incarnate.

“Oh sure I’m gonna sell the original massage video but I don’t do porn.” Nabiki chuckled. “Only sometimes.”

“I just don’t think mother would approve.” Kasumi said.

“Oh don’t worry. Those kittens need to get some shock tactics to help them behave.” Nabiki said. “Nobody else has the will to do that. That’s what I’m here for. A bit of shock tactics.”

“So the dojo’s still safe?”

“Well, it’s an old building that no insurer will touch it, but yeah it’s fine.” Nabiki said. “Akane can keep it if she marries Ranma.”

“So the document?”

“It is only a story I told dearest sister.”

“You lied.”

“But in a good way.” Nabiki defended. “If I didn’t lay down any rules who knows what those kittens would get up to. Our honour could be in tatters. Then where will I find my millionaire husband?”

“I wish you wouldn’t call them kittens.” Kasumi said still upset at how Nabiki was being so blasé about the matters.

“Speaking of kittens, how are those ‘special dumplings’ doing that I caught you making?”

Kasumi blushed and it wasn’t the heat of the spa. “It was just a precaution.”

“Uh-huh.” Nabiki said sipping her drink. “You do things your way Kasumi and I do them mine. You can slip secret birth control pills in Akane’s food and I’ll scare the shit out of her.”

“Nabiki, please!”

“Oh come on Kasumi relax.” Nabiki said.

“I’ll only relax when you come home.”

“Not till the Neko duo have made up or think they’re having kittens.”

“I really wish you wouldn’t say that.”

“Scared of a little Neko love?” Nabiki chuckled. “Listen just relax here for a bit then go home.”

Kasumi shifted her position and sighed. “I have slipped in my Zen lately.”

“Good, champagne?”

“Oh really I mustn’t.” Kasumi giggled.

“You know you should.” Nabiki said. “I just hope the kiddo’s are doing okay and not making us into auntie’s.”

***********

Author’s Note: Oh dear! The other Tendo sisters might just be auntie’s yet! That got extremely close! *hee hee*

I didn’t mean to add this last bit in the hotel but I couldn’t help it. Nabiki needed to defend her actions. (No, you perverts they didn’t do anything in the Jacuzzi!) The Manga Nabiki seems a bit more sly and devious than the Anime version. Most people seemed shocked by what she did but I thought she would do that given the circumstances. Plus it really helped moved my *cough* plot along.

Yeah, and I apologise for all the errors last chapter. It was made in a rush so I took my time with this chapter. That’s a lesson not to write three chapters to three very different stories while trying to proof read a 12,000 word essay all in one weekend!

Anyway I got an interesting question asked....

Joseph D. Hale: Thanks for using my theory on how Neko-Akane was created. I have a question about Ranma and Akane’s Neko-Ken sides. Here is my question: If a man with the real Neko-Ken like Neko-Ranma mated with a woman with the Psuedo Neko-Ken like Neko-Akane, what kind of children would they have by mating with each other?

Um... Okay I’m leaving this question open for others to answer as well. Mainly because I’m not a psychology or genetic expert.

Mz D’s answer: My basic understanding of the Neko-Ken is that it’s a mental condition caused by Genma’s stupid training. So because it’s a mental disease and not a genetic one it won’t pass onto the children. I’m not too sure about the curse, could that pass onto the next generation? That’s because of the magic element. It’s up to interpretation and a whole lot of speculation. If the Neko-Ken was caused by magic and not Ranma’s mental state; then maybe they could really have kittens. It got me thinking anyway!

So next chapter a visit to the Nekohanten is on the cards. I doubt Shampoo will be very happy to see Akane.