Neko Love 6. The Calm before the Storm

Author:

Disclaimer: I don’t own Ranma

Chapter 6

A small cat bounced into the Nekohanten. The old woman that was perched on her stick didn’t bat an eye at the animal. Instead she upturned a kettle that was on the stove.

“What took you child?” Cologne asked the now naked and angry Shampoo.

“Violent girl hit me!” Shampoo spat. “Akane I kill.”

“No, you can’t kill her.” Cologne said. “Ranma would never come back to our village if we did that.”

“Akane obstacle!” Shampoo snarled. She was now storming around the restaurant naked with the customers watching amazed.

“Why don’t you get dressed.” Cologne suggested. “Then you can explain exactly what happened.”

Shampoo nodded and ran to her room. When she came back down she explained to her great-grandmother what had happened. The glomping of Ranma; the turning into a cat and Akane’s fear of her cat side making her hit Shampoo to Fuji Mountain.

Cologne tapped her chin deep in thought. *If Akane has begun defending Ranma then this is bad. The obstacle must be made as unappealing as possible.* An idea struck her and she began cackling. *Oh this will be good.*

“Great-grandmother what’s so funny?” Shampoo asked.

“I have an idea on what to do with obstacle.” Cologne explained. “It will be perfect revenge for the dishonour she has caused us.”

“I kill?” Shampoo said hopefully.

“No I’ve told you before.” Cologne snapped hitting Shampoo on the head with her cane. She reached up to a tin and opened it up. A small bottle containing a dark brown liquid was held inside. Cologne handed it to her great-granddaughter. “Now take this vile and follow my instructions...”

********

Ranma-Chan dodged another ribbon snap from Kodachi. “Where is my darling Ranma?” The insane gymnast said. “I have a cake for him.”

“Yeah and I bet you laced it with paralysing poison.” Ranma said eyeing the black iced gateau.

“Scandalous, malicious rumour!” Kodachi said. “I would never do that to my beloved you common whore!”

The Black Rose lashed out with a club. Ranma deflected it but it bounced back to Kodachi. It knocked the cake off her arm and it landed with a ‘splat’ on the floor.

“Look what you did!” Kodachi cried. The cake was now bubbling and starting to eat through the floor. “My beloved is now deprived of my gift! I shall see you pay harlot.”

“Hey, I didn’t want your gift and I’m not a harlot or a whore!” Ranma-Chan yelled, not caring what form she was in or how confusing it sounded to the clueless Kodachi.

“You wanton jezebel. Those lies shall be your undoing!” Kodachi spat, foam beginning to show on the sides of her mouth. She threw a hoop that bounced off the floor and tried to give Ranma-Chan a head cut.

“Hey watch the hair!” Ranma shouted and then winced. *Ohh I have been a girl too long today.*

Kodachi ignored Ranma’s cries and flipped over her grabbing the hoop. She swung it at Ranma’s chest, but the red head managed to dodge the deadly weapon. She leaped back and kicked the hoop out of Kodachi’s hand.

“You smell of massage oil you lewd chit.” Kodachi said. “You have lured my Ranma into your web of deception.”

“Huh, chit?” Ranma said. “Did you say a bad word?”

“Chit you imbecile, is a girl that is impudent and pert to her betters.” The Black Rose said haughtily always eager to educate the uninformed.

“Hey I resent that!” Ranma said. “I’m a guy!”

“You’re still think I shall fall for that!” Kodachi said. “I wish to know where my lover Ranma is.”

“I’m right here and I’m not your lover!” Ranma said getting desperate. “How many times do I have to tell you! I’m a guy that turns into a girl!”

“You lie!” Kodachi said. “I see you have not got him here so you further hinder my search by your obvious deception.”

The dark haired girl bounced off Ranma’s head and stood dramatically at the window. “Very well I shall bid adieu!” Kodachi said still whirling her razor sharp ribbon in the air.

“I shall be back for my gallant lover another day.” There was a crack of her ribbon and a shower of rose petals and the Black Rose soon became a bouncing silhouette in the skyline.

“Doesn’t she ever quit!” Ranma gasped as she kicked the dangerous black cake out the house.

“Don’t worry about it Ranma.” Kasumi said handing Ranma the kettle. Ranma grumbled as she became a he. There was loud thumping from behind and Ranma knew instantly who it was.

“Yo Akane, ya missed the excitement.” Ranma said not turning round.

“How did you know it was me?” Akane gasped.

“There’s only one person I know that thumps like an elephant in a charge.” Ranma turned and grinned at Akane. She wasn’t smiling back. A mallet appeared and flattened Ranma into his seat.

“Now Akane be nice and help serve.” Kasumi said.

Nabiki entered smiling. “That was a good performance the pair of you gave.”

“Oh Nabiki you haven’t been filming them again.” Kasumi gasped.

“Got anything to say sister.” Nabiki said eyeing her sister coldly. “Or would you like for me to continue.”

Kasumi blushed slightly and shook her head. She retreated to the kitchen. Ranma sat up from the floor having missed the small exchange.

“Is dinner ready yet?”

“Our father’s have still to arrive.” Akane answered coldly. As if on cue the missing pair of Soun and Genma appeared, drunk.

“We are sooo sorry my dear daughter.” Soun slurred. “We have drunk most of the sake you asked us to collect.”

“That’s okay Daddy.” Kasumi said as she brought through some more plates of food. “You’re just in time for dinner.”

“How convenient.” Nabiki said watching Genma as he sat down with chopsticks at the ready.

“Ranma gets an extra helping today.” Kasumi said putting a full dish down in front of him. “This is for all the misunderstandings this afternoon.” The eldest Tendo sister bowed respectfully. Ranma not really listening to what Kasumi was implying, dug into the food.

“Th’nk you.” He mumbled to her. Kasumi’s worried expression disappeared and she busied herself with bringing through the rest of the dinner. Akane sat down beside Ranma not looking up at him.

Genma sniffed the air. “Where did all that vanilla come from?” He said.

“Oh, that would be from the massage oil I gave to Ranma and Akane.” Nabiki said smiling. Soun looked at the pair of them wide eyed while Genma patted Ranma’s back.

“That’s my boy, you honour our family well.” Genma said while trying to slip his hand on some of his food. The remark was enough to send Soun into a fountain of tears.

“Our families will be united, oh I’m so happy.” Soun wailed.

“Calm down father.” Kasumi scolded. “I’m sure Nabiki’s just teasing.”

“Not really.” Nabiki said. “It’ll cost 10,000 yen for the video proof.”

“NABIKI!” Akane yelled.

“I can’t believe my daughter is charging me such fees.” Soun cried.

“It’s extortionate.” Genma said. “You better cough up for it Soun.”

“I want 5,000 from my father and 5,000 from you Uncle.” Nabiki smiled coldly at her guest.

“Don’t make business deals at the table.” Kasumi said to her middle sister as she sat down.

“Yes, yes...” Nabiki growled. There was silence for a few minutes (except for the Genma and Ranma eating noises of course.)

Soun was watching his daughters’ actions. Kasumi was being extra nice to Ranma, Nabiki was acting normal but then that didn’t prove anything, but she did have some sort of video proof and Akane was ignoring Ranma. She also had a scarf round her neck an obvious sign of love bites.

Strange thoughts began going through Soun’s head. *My little girl is avoiding eye contact, her head down. No death stares to Ranma. Could it be that she’s finally submitted to him? My headstrong daughter has fallen for Ranma!* The tears began flowing as started getting happy with his assumptions.

“Daddy?” Kasumi said anxiously.

“What’s set him off this time?” Nabiki groaned. “We can’t afford all this flood damage.”

“I’m just so happy.” Soun balled. “Akane has finally submitted to Ranma!”

“WHAT!” Both Ranma and Akane shouted.

“I knew Ranma was a man’s man!” Genma beamed.

“It all makes sense!” Soun explained. “Ranma never slept in his room last night! Nabiki knows something! Kasumi knows something and Akane has a scarf on her neck.”

“Ahh it all makes sense now.” Genma sighed coping his friends’ statement.

“Just lay off Pop!” Ranma shouted kicking his drink off the table splashing his father.

“Groff!” Genma-panda snorted.

“We have done no such thing!” Akane screamed. “Ranma was in the Neko-ken last night and nothing happened that really matters!”

“Oh dear.” Kasumi gasped.

“That Neko-Ken is nothing but trouble.”

“Then they haven’t....” Soun began but his crying muffled the rest.

“Yeah...” Ranma piped up. “...It’s not like I’d do that kinda thing normally to that uncute tomboy.”

Everyone shifted away from Ranma except for Akane who began to glow.

“If I had any control over what I was doing I would have stayed 5 miles away from her.” Ranma continued unaware of his current danger. “How was I to know she puts out a smell that attracts...”

Before Ranma could finish he was knocked out through the roof by Akane’s best upper cut.

Genma-panda held up a sign. [What does Akane’s smell attract?]

Akane angrily screamed and stormed out of the room. There was a moment of silence as Akane’s heavy footsteps thumped up the stairs. The rest of the dinner party members stared in disbelief and confusion, all except one teenage girl.

Nabiki coughed. “I’d like to amend my last offer to 15,000 yen for information.”

A now wet Ranma-Chan walked into the room. “I can’t believe you sometimes.” She growled.

“Oh, this coming from the boy/girl that doesn’t know not to mention a girl’s smell unless it’s nice.” Nabiki hissed.

Ranma-Chan snorted and sat back down to finish her meal. She kept eating even though her father and Mr. Tendo were staring at her.

[You better apologise son.] Genma-panda’s sign said.

Ranma just ignored him.

“YOU DARE DISHONOUR MY BELOVED DAUGHTER!!” Soun yelled, his head filling the room.

Ranma jumped back unable to avoid the senior Tendo. “I...I’ll go apologise right after I change back into a man.” Ranma managed to explain.

Soun nodded and returned to his seat and proper head size. “As it should be.” He huffed.

Ranma sighed and moved slowly to the kitchen. She began to wish she didn’t have to go up there. Ranma was getting a strange feeling that something wasn’t right. *Well, whatever it is it certainly can’t be as bad as Cologne and Happy kissing.* Ranma shuddered at the image in her mind and ran to get the hot kettle.

*********

Akane slammed her door shut and flopped on her bed. Her anger had quickly turned to depression. She hated the situation her family had placed her in. It wasn’t fair she was betrothed to an insensitive jerk with a multiple personality problem; that had cuter girls than her chasing after him. One minute Ranma could be very sweet and even dare she think it nice to her? Then there were the more usual times when he just shot off his mouth saying the cruellest things.

Akane tried to block him out of her mind. *Why can’t I forget that stupid idiot?* She wondered. *I should just let him go off with those other girls.* Akane sulked while thinking dark thoughts about Ranma. She didn’t notice her window opening and a lithe figure sneaking in. She only began to notice when she felt a cold liquid against the back of her neck. She jerked up to stare at her attacker.

She couldn’t focus and everything began to seem fuzzy. The last thing she heard as she fell into unconsciousness was,

“Violent girl go sleep, you wake up a lot, lot different.”

*************

Author’s Note: Oh no another cliffhanger!

*Mz D dodges a chibi panda thrown in her general direction.*

Mz D: “Hah! missed me!” *Chibi Ranma-Chan smacks Mz D in the face.* “Ugh!”

Anyway find out next chapter what the amazon’s potion does. I guarantee a lot more Neko Love!

P.S. If anyone can guess what Shampoo has done correctly will win... um ... a thumbs up from me?

Nah A cookie?

Yeah guess correctly and I’ll give you a Kasumi cookie.