Well, let's get to business shall we? Ranma 1/2 is owned by Takahashi-sama, 
and will get no money made from this because there won't be any (Non-profit
story, get it?). Don't bother suing, I'm broke. This is also a LEMON. For 
those who don't know what that is , it means sex in the story. Unless your 
18, I suggest not reading this.

Homemade Viagra

Or

The Trouble with Innazukes

By The Lunar Knight (KMurasaki@Hotmail.com) 




[Damn Nabiki,] Kick, sweep, punch, chop. [Takin' all those pictures of me 
for those morons.] Duck, sweep, pause. Kick, punch, jump. [Stupid old leach
stickin' me with all his loot. What the hell am I gonna do with PANTIES?!] 
Midair roundhouse, ax kick, amaguriken. [Stupid pig boy. How the hell do 
you get lost in a stall... and then blame me?] Kick. Kick. Uppercut, BANG!
	Ranma Saotome continued his modified kata, not even remotely aware 
of the new skyline he put in the roof from his chi updraft of his fist. So 
many things in his life would just disappear if he just did something about
 it. Unfortunately, he couldn't figure what that something was. Everything 
that could have gone wrong today did, leaving only one predictable thing 
left. He knew she would get to him sooner or later, she was surprisingly 
the only one that hadn't given him a problem all day. Kami could guess how
much longer that would last. 
	He stopped his kata, grabbed a towel, and made for the furo. [Well, 
might as well be refreshed when she comes to end my day painfully.]


*****************************


	He snorted at the tray of lethal injestions in front of him. [Figures, 
she goes back to the poison again. Damn, that thing moved!]
	"At least try it before you start badmouthing it Ranma!" Akane tapped
the mallet against her foot in a baseball like gesture.
	Ranma snorted in disgust. "Well, might as well, nothin' better to 
do than die." He picked up a random chunk of... whatever it was, chewed, and
swallowed while Akane watched on in nervous anticipation. Minutes passed 
before he moved again. When he did so, it was to look at her with his usual
cock-sure grin. "I'll, be damned, you may have finally gotten something 
right for once Akane."
	Her eyes grew wide. Had he just complemented her? "Ranma?"
	And also as usual, his foot never stopped on its all too familiar 
route to his mouth. "Yeah. Instead of killing me with a horrid gut-wrenching
taste, you managed to give it no taste at all!" As she began to glow, Ranma
continued, noticing the slight queasiness in his stomach. "Well, I guess I 
was mistaken. It's slow acting too."
	The blow was heard sixteen houses down.


*****************************     


Disgruntled, angry, relaxed, exasperated; this is how he felt when he usually
woke up, but not this time. This time he felt, light, exhausted, and very... 
spent. He took a minute to gather himself, then tried to get up. That's when
he noticed the cold, clinging stickiness to his usually loose pants. [Aw man,
I didn't...]
	He focused his eyes and confirmed what he felt. He slowly got up and
made his way out the dojo. One would note that instead of a new hole in the
roof, he conveniently fell through the same hole he made earlier.
	[If Akane sees this I'm dead. Better make it to my room from here.] He 
leaped onto the ledge of his window, opened it, and slid in. Noting that it
was nighttime, 3:00 by the clock visible from the hall, he didn't bother 
to tiptoe around the snoring panda. After washing up, he lie on his futon 
for a moment, thinking about the day's events. Satisfied that the universe
was done with him for another day, he went back to sleep.


*****************************


	The day was different, the panda wasn't around, but he still felt the
same way he did after waking up from the latest encounter with Akane's mallet,
conveniently signed by Mark Mcguire. Groaning utter disgust at what he'd 
done a second time, he snuck out into the furo, surprisingly with no problems
of any sort short of a weariness that was much stronger than yesterday.


*****************************


The starting walk was the same. Walk on the fence, simple to do in his 
sleep. So why was he having such a hard time? It went well the first ten 
minutes, and then Akane took notice. 
	"Something wrong Ranma? You look pale."
	He took a moment to shake the tunnel vision forming, and gave her a 
response. "Probably that lousy cooking you gave to me. Talk about prolonged
affects."
	She glared at him and wound up to throw her backpack at him, when she
noticed his sudden swaying on the fence. Therefore, the gasp was only expected
when he fell opposite side into the water. Taking a leap over the fence, 
she pulled her from the shallow waters and made her way for doctor Tofu's. 


*****************************


After a warning from the good doctor to take it easy, Ranma spent the
rest of his time awake and cautious. He had slipped twice after falling 
asleep, something that shouldn't have happened. As he knew his body well, 
he knew how to control what was mostly natural with every other male on the
planet. With him this was unheard of in his case, which was why he was so 
afraid of falling asleep again. There was no exception to what gender he 
was, as he found out in Tofu's office. He had never seen him so close to 
zoning out without Kasumi nearby.
So here he was, suffering through possibly the most boring lesson in 
history. It didn't help him much that the teachers called on him, seeing he
was awake. Needless to say, he was all too happy when the final bell rang.
It was happiness short-lived as the universe caught up to him once more.
{How dare you try to attempt glee in my presence!} Roughly translated, it 
came out to: "SAOTOME, PREPARE TO DIE!!"
	He dodged the incoming barrage of chains and shurikens and came up 
on the opposite side of the street he was standing on.
	"Don't ya have anything better to do than pester me?"
	Mousse answered in his usual manner, all the while continuing to 
throw everything except the kitchen sink at him. "Shut up Saotome! Finally
I'll be able to be rid of you!" After another ten seconds of spitting useless
dialogue, he reached for a kitchen sink from his robe and hurled it at 
Ranma. After another evasion, he pulled out twin curve swords and engaged
in close combat; a stupid mistake on his part, or it would have been. 
	After disarming Mousse, and a well-placed combo of kicks and punches,
Ranma began to get very light-headed. The feeling was hard to fight, and 
twice as hard to ignore. Ducking when he should have dodged, Mouse caught 
him with a foot to the side. The flash in his head was brief before the 
darkness claimed him.


*****************************


Mousse, not used to such an advantage, sat there for a moment to think
of what to do next. Figuring he might as well fill out his threat, he pulled
a sword from his robe. He then achieved contact with the ground himself, 
courtesy of Shampoo and her bonbori.
	"Stupid Mousse. What you do to airen?" She knelt by Ranma and examined
him carefully. Quickened pulse, paleness, erratic breathing; something was
definitely wrong with him. Why else would he lose so easily to the duck boy?
As she scooped up Ranma, she noticed a sudden difference: his pants were 
bulging. Deciding that it could be serious, and completely ignoring the 
flushing of her face and the modesty that she never held in the first place,
she pulled him into an alley, and pulled his pants. Stream after stream of 
seed was her reward. To shocked to even move out of the way, she let it 
cover her face, clumping her hair, and soaking the neck of her shirt.
	Her first reaction that involved movement was to put a finger to her
cum-coated cheek. She swirled the sticky substance around her finger and 
stared at it. As much as she loved him, this was a little much for her. 
Couldn't he control himself a tad better? She took off her shirt and used 
it as a rag, soaping up Ranma's payload. Figuring she couldn't even hop on
the roofs in just a pink silk bra and pants, she borrowed Ranma's shirt, and
tucked the dirty one in his bag. After scooping him up and over her shoulder,
she made her way back to the Nekohanten.


*****************************


	"What happened to son-in-law?" Cologne looked on as her great 
granddaughter brought in a very unconscious Ranma.
	"Airen in fight with stupid Mousse and pass out from hit." A flush 
began to make its way around her cheeks. "Ranma no look good, so Shampoo
check on him, full exami..." She seemed to look thoughtful for a minute. "Body
check." Her voice dropped, and she fidgeted slightly. "Ranma have weird 
dream. Not wake up, but share with Shampoo..." At this point, Shampoo presented
Cologne with the semen-soaked shirt.
	Cologne merely arched an eyebrow. "Well, he is a growing boy, but still..."
She gazed at him for a moment longer. "There does seem to be something wrong
with him." She hopped to her counter and began to pull herbs from the cabinet,
then turned to Shampoo. "Take him to Mousse's room and lay him down." She 
sniffed the air. "Then go take a bath, it's not all gone yet." Shampoo 
reddened even more, then made moves toward the furo.


*****************************

	By the time Mousse came hobbling in, Cologne was finished with 
her examinations on Ranma, and had quite the smirk on her face.
	"What's so funny?" Mousse asked her.
	"Well, it seems that son-in-law has contracted something rather 
peculiar." [As well as something that could work well to our advantage,]
 she thought.
	Mousse's eyes, err, glasses fell off his head. "WHAT? Saotome's 
here? This is my chance! At last I can quack!"
	Cologne grabbed the struggling duck and threw him into his cage.
 "Sorry Mousse, but he need's your room for tonight, as he's in no 
condition to travel."
	She pogoed to the bottom of the stairs. "Shampoo! I'll be heading 
out for a few errands. Watch over everything, I won't be long." Then she 
hopped out of the back door, chuckling at her plan all the way.
	Mousse quacked about the unfairness of it all.

*****************************


	He was tired. He was cold. He was hungry. He was wet. He was aroused.
[Wait, aroused? How'd that one get there?] Ranma sat up and looked at his 
surroundings. The room was basically Spartan, with the average bedroom 
necessities; a weight set in the corner, and a rather exotic travel closet 
next to it. Then he noticed it: a life-sized poster of Shampoo on the wall
beside the door, and then two of his pictures, each in their respective 
genders. However what he noticed was the various weapons protruding from 
both. [Must be Mousse's room. But how did he get me past the front door, 
and why aren't I bound and gagged?] He decided to get his answers directly.
"Allright Mousse, what's the big deal puttin' me in here?!"
	"Stupid duck boy no here, is downstairs in cage taking nap." A voice
responded faintly.
	"Shampoo?"
	"Be with airen in minute," Was the reply.
	Ranma puzzled for all of three seconds when she walked in. She had 
a thin silk bathrobe the color of carnations that seemed to mold to her 
every move. Her hair, usually done up in its own elaborate way, was fixed 
up in a towel. A slight mist permeated from her, and her faced had water 
running in streaks, giving her a look that Ranma took no attention to. His
body, however, had not been acting right all day, and was taking each detail
with apt enthusiasm. 
	"Then just how the hell did I get here?" Ranma stared accusingly at
the girl, who did not seem to take it in stride. This was not the impression
she was looking for. The least he could do was say thank you.
	"Ranma pass out in fight with Mousse. Shampoo just help airen get 
comfortable." Her look grew annoyed, but passed as she came and sat down on
the bed. "Shampoo still want Ranma get more comfortable." 
	Ranma took note his shirt was missing. "Look Shampoo, I ain't got time for
this. Just give me my shirt and I'll be going."
	Shampoo scooted her way behind him and started massaging his shoulders.
"Shirt is in wash. Ranma get very dirty." She was thankful he was oblivious
to the blush on her cheeks. 
She was right in a way, he was completely oblivious to everything 
except her hands making contact with his tense shoulders. Her silk-covered
breast lightly grazing the middle of his back. The vision out of the corner
of his eye of those slender legs lying over the side, the thighs exposed to
his liking...
The feeling was stronger now, and the dizziness phenomenal. He thought
of the urgency below his waist, sending sensations flowing through him only
rivaled by the foreign contact on his back. Before he knew, he had seized 
her by the hands, pulling her to his lap.
	Shampoo gasped not at the unyielding force behind the pull, but the fact 
that he pulled her at all. She was now staring up at him, lying on his thighs
and giving him a shocked look. When did he get aggressive?
	Ranma's view of the situation was vastly different. He gaze darted 
around her form; from her legs in no way hidden by the robe, to the slight
heave in her breast from her every intake of breath, to the shocked look on 
her face. There was something else in those eyes of hers. It seemed like, 
desire? Anticipation? Curiosity? She wanted to know what he was doing?
	Did he even know what he was doing? This urge had never been this 
strong before, despite his supposed fiancee's constant tries. He could count
every grope, glomp, and blatant feel she had gotten off of him, and each 
time he stood fast and contained. How could a back rub do this? Wait. She 
was saying something. He fought for focus.
	"Airen, what you doing?" Her voice held none of it's usual steel 
behind the cute pitch. It was trembled and unsure. "Ranma let go. You hurting
Shampoo's wrist."
	Ranma stared at her a moment, but did not let go. He wasn't possessed,
but he wasn't fighting the fire either. He sat her up, brushing her thigh 
against his erection. Her sharp intake was merely the half of his oddly 
discovered and sudden joy. Her eyes had tripled in size, and more drops 
pronounced their newfound existence on her forehead. 
	As if to see if he could widen her eyes any further, he placed a 
fierce kiss on her. She squeaked in his mouth, then melted into it. He held
her there, draping his arms around hers, caressing her back. Abruptly she 
broke the lock, and looked at him in confusion, and something else. The fire
was there. Not as strong, but obviously growing. He wordlessly kissed her 
again, and trailed his lips further down. He kissed and nibbled along her 
neck and collarbone. He stopped as he felt her pulse. It was quickened and
very erratic. Hungrily, he sucked hard on that spot, getting a nervous squirm
from her in return. 
	He pulled away after a moment and observed his work. There was a 
reddish spot where he had sucked, pulsing slightly every moment or so. He 
had begun to recall every off-handed and hentai thing that Hiroshi and Daisuke
would discuss about what would drive women crazy in the bed, and silently 
thanked them. The information had come in handy; the fire in her had just 
doubled, as she was now upon him, kissing him for all his worth. As they 
dueled each other with their tongues, he let his hands wander, and brushed
pass her nipples, now perky and hard. Remembering what he was told, he worked
his way down her neck and collarbone again, but this time pulled one shoulder
of the robe off, revealing one of the mounds of tender flesh. Without awaiting
reaction, he covered the pink nipple with his mouth, licking and sucking 
it urgently. 
	Shampoo was not taking a liking to this, though she wasn't stopping 
it either. The feelings it was giving off were overwhelming, ragging through
her like an electric fire. It was now dancing along her chest. She had tried
to summon enough control to push him off, but every time her hands met his
chest, he would do something else to allow the fire free reign on her body.
It was disheartening, as she had dreamed of this a good deal of her time. 
It was just something that underneath, just didn't feel right. Her thoughts
were cut short as an even stronger wave took her, breaking the last of her
defiance.
	Ranma, who had assaulted her nipple in the earnest, was now putting
a hand to her lower regions, past the panty-shrouded bushel, and began playing
with the delicate petals that were growing slick and sensitive. The invasion
struck a chord, and earned a moan from Shampoo. She spoke to him, the broken
tones in her voice completely apparent. "More. Shampoo burning inside, 
no want Ranma tease."
	He granted her no such mercy. His hand still playing with her flower,
his other hand fondling her uncovered breast, he licked at the inside of her
ear, flicking and darting the tip around and inside of the hole. The results
were nothing short of astonishing. Her every moan, tremble, and gasp told 
him of the building fire within her. It was weird. This usually aggressive
and forward Amazon was becoming putty in his hands; shrinking into a timid
person submitting to his every touch. He could feel every thing about her.
Her instinctual hip thrust toward his invading hand, the sweat running down
her chest, her back arching at every sudden jerk she made, her scent making
itself known as she grew hotter. It was as if her entire body had become on
massive hot zone to do with as he pleased.
	At the same time, he stood aware of his own brilliant inferno going 
through him. He wanted nothing more than to satisfy its call and thrust into
her, but he wanted to try one more thing. He made her lay back into the bed,
and kissed his way down slowly, slightly aware of Shampoo's eyes upon him.
He untied the sash holding the robe and pulled it open, exposing pink silk
panties underneath. He took in the salty, musk-filled scent in one breath, 
and then, hooking a finger at each side, pulled them from her hidden treasures.
Shampoo lifted her hips to comply to his action, anxious for him to proceed
with what she desperately needed. She also took the towel off of her head 
to relieve the heat, and fondled her untouched breast.
	Taking in her scent once more, he licked her swollen lips, getting 
another squeak from her in reply. He then worked slowly, lapping at her outer
lips, and darting his tongue in and out of her virgin pussy. Her twitches 
and abrupt jolts made it difficult, but he continued, inserting a digit after
a while. Probing and rubbing her insides softly, he inserted one more. Her
moans grew in volume, and her clit made itself known, coming from under its
hood. He flicked his tongue over it, and nibbled at it gently while fingering
her with one more prod.
	Shampoo was in a haze. Everything else was miles away, and the fire 
had taken over. All she craved now was achievement and release. It was upon
her before she knew, making her barely aware of the scream she let escape 
her lips. It rippled and rocked her, and she arched herself in compliance, 
the quenching almost taking her consciousness.


*****************************


	Cologne tilted her head to listen in on the cry of her great granddaughter.
 It was just as she had thought, son-in-law's blood stream seemed to be 
polluted with a very potent wonder drug. It was well beyond anything her or
any of the other's in her village. The question was exactly who did it? 
Though rational, it wasn't likely that the Kuno girl had come up with anything
that potent. There also weren't many chemist that visit here and challenge
him like others would. She had yet to hear of a school of martial arts Spanish
Fly making.
	Another scream, even louder than before pulled her from her reverie.
Well, it was certain she wasn't going to be able to open tomorrow. Her charge
would certainly be too exhausted, and... She glanced over at the angered 
squawks coming from the caged duck. [There's no way he's going to be in any
condition to work.] Acting out of mercy, she hopped over and pushed the 
duck's sternum with her staff, silencing it for the night. She then made her
way upstairs, promising to do the same to herself. There was no other way 
she would get any sleep with those two carrying on like that.


*****************************


	Coming back to her senses, she focused her vision on her assailant, 
who was covered from the nose to the chin in her honey. He began the task 
of licking it off, using his drenched fingers as an aid for the hard to reach
places, though his focus seemed to be elsewhere. His eyes were slightly 
glazed, and his breathing was shallow and quick. She scanned the whole of 
him, taking in every detail, and got down to what remained of both their 
desires. It looked to be throbbing in desperation, forgotten only till now.
And right now, she craved it with a fervor unparalleled. 
	She gathered her remaining strength and sat herself up on the palms 
of her hands. Locking eyes with Ranma, and summoning the courage that had 
eluded her the entire ordeal, she spoke in a quiet, pleading tone to him.
	"Ranma, Shampoo want you now. Can't take teasing anymore, Shampoo 
must be filled. Please, please take Shampoo."
	He nodded his head absently, then undid the string to his pants. As they 
hit the floor of their own loose accord, he pulled his boxers with them, 
releasing his manhood. He shook it for a moment, then laying Shampoo back,
positioned himself at her entrance, feeling her fluids wet his head. He kissed
her once more, then slowly pushed inward. Assured he was in far enough, he
thrust hard the rest of the way. Shampoo screamed into his mouth, then pulled
away and wailed again as he thrust deeper. Her tears ran hot down her cheeks,
and the cry simmered to a whimper after a moment. Then he continued his 
thrusting, and her cries became exceedingly loud moans, and then cries 
once more. 
The pain ebbed itself away, and she clamped her arms around him, 
beginning to pick up his rhythm. However, try as she might, she couldn't 
keep with him; the sensations were too powerful. All too often, she relented
and let Ranma pound her to a higher plane of excitement. The rough thing was
that he showed no signs of stopping, even when she edged closer to the edge.
"Ranma, please slow. I going to..."
Her plea fell on deaf ears. His concentration was solely put upon 
release. He felt her spasms become more violent, her cries louder, but pressed
on. At one point she tensed completely, her vaginal muscles doing their best
to squeeze him into submission, his name riding on her scream, but he gave
no room for maneuver, and only heightened her convulsions. 
Afterward he slowed only for a moment to rest against the force of 
Shampoo's multiple orgasm, and was soon pounding at her with a determination
only known to him in a losing situation. His goal was in sight, just a bit more...
Shampoo was now holding for dear life, all coherent thought gone. 
Any other sound out of her mouth other than a drawn out moan or scream, was
rapid-fire Mandarin. Her entire body was coated in sweat, and her breath was
taken in large gulps. She was pretty sure that another surge like that would
make sure she would be knocked out well into tomorrow afternoon, and was 
coming upon her soon.
Ranma was reaching his limit as well. He pumped into her with no 
remorse, building for release. When it finally came, he held stock-still, 
while Shampoo spasm wildly beneath him. Clutching each other tightly, they
rode out their waves, and wearily welcomed the unconsciousness that followed.


If you're reading this, than you've made it through the story. Any and all 
commentary can be sent to KMurasaki@Hotmail.com. This seems to have created
a hole big enough for a sequel, so keep an eye out for it. Ja ne!