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I do not own Gold Digger and its associated characters. They belong to that marvelous fellow Fred Perry. I do not own Ranma ½ and its associated characters. They belong to the wonderful lady Rumiko Takahashi. This production is strictly for entertainment, and I am not making any money off of the writings. I am just a poor student, so please… Don't sue me… Please?

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Special Disclaimer:

“All My Diggers” is paying homage to the Ranma ½ & Sailor Moon Fanfiction, “All My Outers”. I was talking with Psyckosama about his fics and works and he asked me to do this, made it into an author challenge really. So I write this fic not for great story value, but for pure enjoyment.

You can find Psykosama's works at http://www.fanfic.net/~psyckosama

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All My Diggers Chapter 2: I Know Why the Caged Pig Squeals

Brianna stood up from the floor. She rubbed her nose to ease the pain and glared at her sister Gina.

Brianna: Dammit, Gina! Don't make jokes like that!

Gina: But… I wasn't joking. Do you really think you could keep up with him?

Brianna stared at Gina. No. She redefined stared.

Brianna: Excuse me! But, I think I could easily overtake Ranma! He'd be the one trying to keep up with me!

In was then the two Diggers blinked their eyes in synchronization.

Brianna: Wait… Why are we fighting over a guy we don't remember marrying?

Gina: Well, he is pretty good in the sack.

Brianna: How good? I don't really remember well.

Gina: On a scale of one to ten… Ranma is a twenty-five.

Brianna whistled.

Brianna: No kidding?

All Gina did to answer that question was giggle in a girlish way.

Brianna (Smirks): Damn… I'm really going to have to try to do something about getting out husband in the sack.

Male voice: HUSBAND!?

Gina and Brianna's hair stood on end. They turned to the voice in dread. It was their father, wearing a black bathrobe, and his head was the largest flaming skull either of them had ever seen. Okay, maybe this wouldn't be too bad. They sometimes were able to calm him down without a hassle.

Female voice: Theo, what's wrong? I can't see anything past your Flaming Skull-Head Technique…

Theo stepped to the side to reveal their mother, Julia, wearing a red bathrobe. She obviously had been busy the previous night as well.

Both the Diggers girls sighed in defeat. There was no way they could get this past their mother. Their father, they might be able to for a few days… But when it came to their mother, they didn't have a chance.

Gina: Well… You see dad, that's kind of interesting actually.

Theo: Do tell…

Brianna: If we knew more, we would say, but… Um…

Julia: Girls? What's wrong?

Gina: Well… Mom…

Gina and Brianna look at each other. They nod their heads in understanding. They then hold up their hands to show off their wedding rings.

Gina: Well, I myself can't remember the exact details, so I'll tell you the most basic facts as to keep confusion down. We met a guy, and we got married to him.

Julia and Theo stared at Gina.

Gina (Thinks): Why is it everyone keeps staring at me today?

Brianna then coughed, trying to get her parents out of their shock.

Brianna: Plus, I believe he's really, really good in the sack. I mean, he's even taking care of Britanny right now.

Theo (Skull-From-Hell Mode): WHAAAAAAAAAAT!?!?!?

Brianna cringed. Okay, maybe she should have let her dad stay in shock.

(------)

Breathing deeply, Ranma was panting as he lies with his back bed with Britanny, one of his new 'wives'. The whole concept of him being married to three women was just too incredible to be believed, but here he was. And to be honest, he was actually enjoying it.

Yes, at first, Ranma was shocked. Hell, the poor guy still is. However, as he's spent some 'quality' time with Gina, and now with Britanny, it's let Ranma relax a bit. It's let him look at this with a clearer head.

Britanny was breathing deeply; a deep blush covered her face, showing up from underneath her fur. She couldn't believe she had gotten Ranma to make love to her. She couldn't remember much of what her first time with him was like, but after this, she knew Ranma was definitely someone to keep.

Ranma looked over at Britanny. He couldn't help but smile. She had the most satisfied smile on her face, and was purring. Chuckling, Ranma knew that was sound that used to scare the hell out of him. But hearing it come from Britanny… Ranma couldn't help but find it adorable. He leaned over to her and kissed her. He had to keep his laughter in as he felt Britanny purr into the kiss. It was relaxing, but it was also ticklish.

Sighing in relief, Britanny felt as though she was on cloud nine. She felt so satisfied at the moment, that nothing could go wrong. When Ranma broke the kiss, she looked into the dark, blue depths of his eyes. Those beautiful, caring eyes…

Eyes that were like her dear Stripe's…

Ranma was confused as Britanny started to become upset, averting her vision from Ranma's eyes. What happened to upset her?

Ranma: Britanny… Are you all right?

Looking back at Ranma, Britanny closed her eyes and sighed deeply. How could she possibly tell him that she was starting to feel guilty again?

Ranma: Britanny? It's okay. You can tell me what's bothering you.

Britanny: Ranma… It's just your eyes… When I looked into them just then… They reminded me of my ex-fiancé's…

Seeing Ranma wince, Britanny felt guilty. She didn't mean to make Ranma feel bad. She did like the guy. True, she never met him before any of this, but she honestly did like him. He seemed to be an okay guy when it came to personality, and he was one hell of a lover. He lived up to the name 'wild horse' in every way.

Britanny: Ranma… I'm sorry. I shouldn't have mentioned him. It's just… I know he needs me… And I still have feelings for him.

Britanny stopped as Ranma placed a finger on Britanny's lips.

Ranma: I know… For some reason, I just know… Stripe went off to fight for his people… I intend to go and help you find him and save him.

Britanny moved Ranma's finger from her mouth. She looked into his eyes.

Britanny: Do you mean that?

Ranma: Of course! I'd do everything within my power to help you and your sisters, Britanny. I mean, we're family now.

Britanny smiled and purred some more. She began to kiss Ranma deeply. Ranma couldn't help but feel a small pang of sadness in the back of his mind.

Ranma (Thinks): Damn… Akane is going to be so pissed with me. I hope she'll be able to calm down and give me the chance to explain what happened when I see her again…

However, Ranma would not get to think further about it as the room became a whole lot brighter. Ranma broke the kiss between him and Britanny and he turned his head to see… A flaming skull?

Theo: Britanny… I believe we should have a talk with this youth!

Ranma (Blinks): W, what? Who is this!?

Britanny (Blushes): Uh… Ranma… Meet daddy.

Ranma blinked. THIS was his father-in-law!? Oh joy…

(------)

Akane stood along in the Tendo Dojo. She was dressed in her white gi and breathing heavily, concentrating on the task at hand. Candles were lit all around the edges. There were rows of stacked slates of concrete lined up.

Looking at the rows, Akane gathered all of her strength. And then it happened!

Akane: KIYAH!

Soon, Akane was moving at the speed of heated molasses! Using her gorilla-like strength, Akane smashed stack after stack after stack of concrete into many large pieces with her fists! In the matter of a few minutes, all the stacks that Akane had set up were broken into so many pieces, covering the dojo floor in useless rubble.

Akane: At last! At last! I am finally the strongest! No one will stand in my way! You hear me! NO ONE! HAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAA!!!

Outside the Dojo, Kasumi shook her head.

Kasumi: Oh my… It sounds like Akane really isn't taking Ranma-kun's disappearance well. Not at all…

Nabiki, who was counting her income for the week looked at Kasumi. She just shrugged her shoulders.

Nabiki: What can I say? It's not out fault Saotome disappeared a week ago. I still don't know why he picked up and left without telling anyone.

Kasumi: But I'm worried, Nabiki. I mean, he left all his stuff here.

Nabiki: True… It's a possibility he was kidnapped, which I highly doubt, considering Ranma's skill, or Ranma was given an opportunity he couldn't hold back on and had to cash in right then and there.

Kasumi: Do you think Ranma will be back, though?

Nabiki: Yes, I do.

Kasumi: Maybe we should ask that nice Hibiki boy about Ranma, if we see him.

Nabiki: Sure. But don't get your hopes up. Ryoga gets lost following a straight line.

Kasumi: Still, he might have seen Ranma.

Nabiki: True…

Nabiki then put a thoughtful expression on her face.

Kasumi: … Nabiki?

Nabiki: You know Kasumi I will admit this. I wonder what happened to the idiot…

(------)

Ryoga awakens slowly, but surely. The room was pitch black, except for the morning sunlight coming from the cracks in the window blinds. His vision wasn't completely functional due to morning dew in his eyelids, but he could tell from, from the size of the room and the stale air, that he was in a hotel. He pushed himself up into push-up position, but felt sometime heavy weighing down the bed. He looked down to find someone sleeping under him. The sunlight coming through the blind revealed long dark hair connected to an ebony-skinned woman. Ryoga panicked.

Hs eyes scanned over the woman's body as well as his own. Ryoga gulped as he realized that they were totally naked. He also felt him a little 'connected' to this woman. He dislodged himself out of her and she let out a groan and then mumbled in her sleep. Ryoga further investigated what he had done and saw a small wet spot underneath the woman's crotch and a small spot of blood.

Ryoga (Thinks): Oh my god, I, I raped this woman!?

Ryoga tried to think about what happened last night… Nothing… As he thought further, Ryoga realized he couldn't remember anything from the past couple of days either. All he could remember, he was going to pound Ranma in Romania… Or was the Gobi Desert? Wait, wait, it was supposed to be in Morocco… Wasn't it? Oh well, it didn't matter where; Ryoga just knew that he had planned to fight him, but that's all he remembered. And now, he's within a hotel with a woman he probably violated.

Then, taking Ryoga out of his train of thought, the woman let out a mumble

Woman (Mumbles): Mmmm… Kevin… I want to do it again….

The ebony woman wrapped her arms around Ryoga's neck and kissed him slightly on his cheek. Her eyes popped opened. It took her a bit time to focus, but she eventually found herself looking into his eyes.

Ryoga (Thinks): Oh shit!

For a moment they stare, before jump out of the bed, opposite directions of each other.

Woman: Who? W, w, who the hell are you!?

Thankfully, having traveled the word at least ten times over by now, Ryoga had learned to speak several languages fluently, including English.

Ryoga: I, I, I'm Ryoga. Ryoga Hibiki.

The ebony woman gave him a look of shock as she continued to stare at him.

Woman: You're foreign aren't you?

The woman was still pretty shocked, but she could tell that this 'Ryoga' wasn't America, despite his talented accent and fluency. She could have sworn by his dialogue alone that he lived he all his life in the U.S.

Ryoga: I'm from Kyoto, Japan. And what's your name?

Woman: My name is 9-1-1.

The woman attempted to pick up the telephone, however, Ryoga dash over the bed and quickly snatched the phone from her hand.

Ryoga: Wait!

Woman: Why? You're trying to rape me!

The woman sat back at the bed. She then noticed a wet spot and a small spot of blood on the sheets, apparently her chastity. She took a moment to remember what happened. She remember wanting to go with the Diggers to pick up those engine parts so that the spaceship would be complete and Ace could pilot the ship to help Stripe on his home planet, but that's all she remembered.

Ryoga: No. I didn't rape you! I… I…

That's when it hit him. That's when it hit her. That's when it hit them both. A flood of memories became apparent to them.

The two of them came through the hotel door, with their lips lock together. The ebony woman had her arms and legs wrapped around him while he closed the door behind him. They particularly tore each other clothes off while knocking over furniture in the process. Both Ryoga and the woman blushed at flashback of what happened after they got their clothes off. The ebony woman most certainly wasn't playing victim.

Both had a dumbfounded expression on their faces when they came to this realization.

Ryoga & Woman: Uh…

A moment later, both noticed something gleaming on their hands. It was gold, round and light.

Woman (Looks at her hand): W, weddings rings!?

The woman was confused. How did she go from getting ready for a space adventure to wild sex in hotel? She looked at Ryoga with horror in her eyes. He returned the look. S he eventually snapped out of trance and slapped Ryoga across the face. He responded to slap by holding his throbbing cheek with his left hand.

Ryoga: Hey! What was that for?

Woman: This is all your fault. I'm not supposed to be here or be here with you. I have a boyfriend!

Ryoga: And I somebody too. Not like I need you.

She gritted her teeth before throwing a series of slaps at him, which feinted. Tiring of this fiasco, Ryoga grabbed both her hands and pinned her to the ground. Both were snarling at each other.

Ryoga (Snarls): Will you stop?

Woman (Snarls back): Will you get off of me?

For a moment, the two stared at each with complete resentment.

A few moment moments passed and the ebony woman's expression changed from an expression of complete shocked. Her mouth gapped opened as she felt Ryoga pushed forward.

(------)

Genn was feeling good as 'she', (as Genn was currently female) walked down the stairs. She had had a pretty relaxing week. She knew the Diggers girls were back home, they had gotten back a week ago, but none of them bothered her for anything. Brianna wasn't asking her for nookie, and Gina wasn't asking for her help on her latest adventure. Yep, for once, Genn has had a relaxing life.

Genn (Thinks): Wow… This has been one quiet week. I wonder what preparations the girls are making to get to Aebra, that they would be quiet for a week? It must be something big.

As Genn continued to make her way through the house, Genn eventually ended up in the kitchen. She was surprised to see the Diggers sisters, (in assorted underwear) and Julia, (in bathrobe) sitting by the back door, which lead to the backyard.

Genn: Hey, is something wrong?

Turning her head around to see who was talking, Julia saw Genn. She motioned for the Rakshasa to come join them in watching the spectacle.

Not knowing what else to do, Genn did walk over to them and looked outside… To see a very angered Dr. Diggers chasing a naked pig-tailed Japanese guy around the backyard.

Theo (Flaming Skull mode): YOU FIEND! SEDUCING MY DAUGHTERS! I'LL KILL YOU FOR THIS! I'LL SEAL YOUR SOUL IN THE UNDEAD REALM! I WILL MAKE YOU KNOW A THOUSAND DEATHS!!!

Ranma (Runs): HEY! LISTEN! I DIDN'T SEDUCE YOUR DAUGHTERS OR NOTHIN'! THIS JUST HAPPENED IS ALL! REALLY! I DIDN'T MEAN TO GET MARRIED, I JUST WOKE UP TO REALIZE I WAS MARRIED TO THREE WOMEN! HONEST!

Genn stared at the others in shock.

Genn: … What?

To answer her, Gina, Britanny, and Brianna held up their hands. To reveal diamond wedding rings.

Genn (whistles): Nice… (Blinks). Wait! You three married the SAME GUY!?

Gina: Affirmative.

Brianna: Yep…

Britanny: Uh-huh…

Blinking her eyes once, then twice, Genn then shook her head.

Genn: You guys really are something else…

The girls sighed in defeat.

Julia (Shakes her head): This is getting us nowhere. It's time I put a stop to this.

Gina: Mom?

Britanny: What are you doing?

The Diggers sisters and Genn watched as Julia marched out there and diffused the situation… A swift kick to Ranma's nuts and a karate-chop to Theo's throat. The Diggers sisters and Genn cringed at the brutality.

Gina: Now that had to hurt…

Britanny: Tell me about it…

Genn: God damn, no one should go through that!

Brianna: Dammit mom! I wanted to carry Ranma's children!!!

Gina and Britanny stared at their younger sibling. Genn just blinked her eyes in shock.

Brianna for her part blushed and then shrugged her shoulders.

Brianna (Blushes): Well, you know, he is pretty cute… Imagine all the cute children one could have with him.

After a moment of though, Gina and Britanny nodded their heads in agreement. With Ranma, they really could have some cute kids.

Genn (Sweat-drops): … You know, you people really ARE weird!

(------)

The ebony woman let out a fifth orgasm after an hour of sex. Ryoga fell forward after shipping his load. Both were breathing and sweating heavily. The woman blinked at the ceiling as she let out a relaxing sigh. Her smile dropped into a frown.

Woman (Pushes Ryoga off her): What the hell am I doing?

Ryoga (Pants): W, what did I do?

Woman: Everything.

The woman leaned down to grab a shirt and pair of panties from the floor. She put them on while Ryoga went into the bathroom.

Woman: What's your name again?

Ryoga: Ryoga… And yours?

Woman: Penny. Penny Pinscer.

Ryoga: Where are you from? America, no doubt…

Penny: Atlanta, Georgia.

The sounds of water running in the sink come from the bathroom. Penny sat on the bed and sighed as she looked at the bathroom. She could feel a pain of guilt and anger swell up in her throat and eyes. There was a moment of silence before, Penny fell back on the bed, roll onto her stomach and began to sob into the sheets.

Ryoga splashed another handful of warm water in his face. He dried his face with the towel and thought about Penny for a moment. He had to admit she was beautiful and exotic. He was never into black women or any other ethnic for that matter. He was so use to his 'own people' that he never thought other types of women. His manhood began to pulse a bit.

Ryoga (Thinks): But what about Akane?

With that thought, Ryoga's manhood died down.

Suddenly, Ryoga began to notices the silence in the other room. He finished drying his face and went into the other room. He noticed Penny was now rolled onto her stomach, facing towards the door. Her butt with the exception of her white panties, where fully exposed to him. But the panties didn't cover much since they were the see-through bikini type. Ryoga found himself in overdrive again.

(------)

Back at the Diggers homestead, things had calmed down. After getting the story they could from Ranma and the girls, Theo and Julia did calm down. They had taken the time to take a break and get dressed. Once all were dressed, they headed down to the living room for further talk and explanation.

Séance had also come downstairs, drawn like a moth to a flame because of all the commotion he heard. He was starting to wish he staid upstairs though. He still had no control over his abilities to see people's day-dreams. Right now, Gina, Britanny, and Brianna were entertaining thoughts of 'doing the nasty' with this man, who was called 'Ranma'. Ranma himself was worrying about being killed by four different women. Theo was thinking about torturing Ranma… No surprise there. Surprisingly, Julia was entertaining thoughts of having lots and lots of grandchildren. Weird. When it came to Genn though, Séance soon tuned his thoughts out. He always got semi-creeped out whenever Genn thought of using some of Brianna's 'toys' on him.

Séance (Thinks): I should have stayed in bed…

Ranma once again tugged at the sweater of the outfit that Theo had lent him to wear. He couldn't stand how it scratched at his skin.

Ranma: I don't mean to be rude Doctor, but are these things supposed to be itchy!?

Ranma was then scratching at his neck again. He cringed as Theo's head went to 'Hell Skull' mode for a few seconds, but it did go back.

Theo thought about it for a moment, then finally answered Ranma.

Theo: You're just not used to wearing sweaters. Give it some time, and it will feel okay.

Sighing, Ranma nodded his head.

Ranma: Yeah… I guess… Still, I guess this situation isn't so bad. Compared to some of the things I've been through, this really isn't.

Britanny: You mean like your dad throwing you into a pit of starving cats?

Britanny finished that sentence with a slight growl. She couldn't believe how some guy could be as heartless as to throw his own son into a pit of starved cats while wrapped in fish sausage. She felt incredibly protective of Ranma, and come hell or high water, she was going to stand by him.

Brianna then decided to add her own two cents into this.

Brianna: Or that time he took you to Jusenkyo and got you cursed?

Nodding his head soberly, Ranma answered Brianna.

Ranma: Yeah…

Nodding her head, Gina sighed as she rubbed the side of her head. She couldn't believe that Ranma's father was so… Idiotic. This link that existed between Ranma and her had given her a lot of inside information on Ranma thanks to the 'phantom memories'. And right now, she was so sickened with Genma's stupidity she wanted to throw up.

Gina: I still can't believe you father would be so stupid, Ranma. I mean, why would he engage you to so many girls when you were already engaged?

Ranma (Sighs): Well, my Pops never was the smartest person in the world. There are times when I seriously think about giving up my family name as so I wouldn't be considered the son of Genma Saotome…

Theo's eyes widened and he slammed his hands down onto the table. This action shocked Ranma and the Diggers. Ranma because it surprised him. The other Diggers because they have rarely seen Theo show such conviction or surprise to his words and actions.

Julia: Theo… What's wrong?

Theo: Please, excuse my outburst. But Ranma, did you say, 'Genma Saotome'?

Ranma blinked his eyes for a moment… He had the most horrible feeling in the pit of his stomach.

Ranma: Yeah… What did my Pops do this time?

Julia then started staring her husband down.

Julia: Yes Dear… What connection do you have to such a criminal?

Rubbing his eyes with his hands, Theo spoke softly.

Theo: Well, it has something to do with that mission the Conclave sent me on twenty-three years ago, a few months before Gina was born…

Julia (Eye twitches): I remember that. I was pissed at you for leaving me, your pregnant wife alone for a month!" Julia said.

Theo (Nods head): I'm still sorry about that, Julia. As I was saying, that was when there were tales of an evil martial arts master in Japan… I was sent to investigate the possibility that there was a black magic using martial arts sorcerer in Japan. After some investigation I finally met the source of such talk… Happosai…

--=BEGIN FLASHBACK=--

We see a younger Theodore, with blonde hair and no beard. He is pretty burnt up and has Happosai standing on his back, while a younger Soun and Genma cower in the background. Genma has a little hair, and less weight, and Soun does not have his mustache.

Theo: Argh… How… How could you be so powerful?

Happosai: Heh heh! How foolish of you, foreigner! I am Happosai! Grandmaster of the School of Anything Goes Lecherous Martial Arts! My power is almighty!

Genma: P, p, p, please, master! Have mercy on the poor idiot!

Soun: I'm sure he knew nothing of your power!

Happosai: Listen you two idiots! Either quiet down or you shall share in this man's fate!

Genma and Soun then start crying and weeping like little schoolchildren. Happosai laughs out evilly as he continues to stand triumphant on Theo's back

--=END FLASHBACK=--

The Diggers and Ranma stare at Theo

Theo: Yes… It was quite painful…

Ranma: Wow… That sounds VERY realistic…

Gina: Are you kidding!?

Ranma: No. The old pervert always picks on those weaker than him. AND my pops and Mr. Tendo are really that cowardly.

Britanny: Dad! How did you survive?

Theo: It was because of a strange twist of luck. Happosai, to the best I can think of, 'liked me'. And so, he offered to take me on as his student. Naturally, as I had to find out if he was an actual magic-user or not, I offered to train under him for a month…

Séance: Well, that's not so bad. He offered to help you, right?

The laughing that Ranma and Theo let off unnerved Séance. It was the coldest, most heart-torn laughter.

Séance: Uh… Guys?

Theo and Ranma calm down after a few more moments of laughter.

Theo: Oh, Séance, Séance, Séance… You don't know the sort of hell Happosai can put a person through.

Brianna: What did he do dad?

Ranma: Whatever it was, it could not be anything good…

Theo: Correct, Ranma… Correct…

--=BEGIN FLASHBACK=--

We see Happosai offering Theo a hand to get up, and Theo takes it. In flash we then see Happosai instructing the three men. Genma was in a white gi, Soun in a dark gray gi, and Theo in a black gi.

Theo (Voiceover): And boy, did I regret ever accepting his offer…

(------)

Happosai, with a bundle of stolen goods, laughs as he runs away from an angry mob of villagers. Theo, Genma, and Soun are close behind him, also with bundles of stolen goods…

Theo: I can't believe you're having us steal this!

Happosai: Heh heh! What's wrong, Teddy? No pain, no gain!

Soun just mutters as he runs.

Soun (Mutters): We're gonna die, we're gonna die, we're gonna die.

Genma: Move faster, Tendo! Either move faster or get outta my way! You're slowing me down!

(------)

Theo, Genma, and Soun tied up into a bundle as Happosai is about to kick them off the side of a cliff...

Soun (Chants quietly to himself): “… I shall show no fear as I walk through that shadow in the valley of death…”

Genma: WAAAAAAAAH! I don't wanna die! I've barely gotten to sample Nodoka!!!

Theo: What is the point of all this!?

Happosai: Theo, m'boy! It's all about building up your endurance. If you have enough, you'll survive this two-hundred foot drop no problem!

Theo: But how will this-

Happosai kicks the large bundle of martial artists and aura mage down the side of a cliff.

Theo: HeeEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELP!!!

*THUD*

Happosai winces as he sees the landing.

Happosai: Oooooooh… That had to hurt… Well, glad it wasn't me! Heh heh!

(------)

We then see Theodore, Genma, and Soun inside a store, cleaning dummies which Happosai had stolen the bras off of.

Theo: Cleaning dummies… Oh thank God my wife isn't seeing this…

Soun: Oh the shame of it all!

Genma: Will you two shut up? I can't concentrate on getting this stain out!

Theo and Soun stare at Genma.

(------)

We see Theodore, Genma, and Soun, running and screaming their heads off as an angered Happosai chases them with a few of his Happo-Fire Bursts.

Happosai: Ingrates! Come back here and let me finish you off once and for all!!!

Theo (Runs): What's wrong!? We just cleaned your outfits!

Happosai: Idiots! You took out my manly scent AND you used too much starch!

Genma & Soun (Run): HAVE MERCY, MASTER!

Happosai: Never! HAPPO-FIRE BURST!

*THWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM*

--=END FLASHBACK=--

The Diggers women, Ranma, Séance, and Genn just stare at Theo.

Julia: Husband… That wasn't training. That was insanity!

Gina, Britanny, and Brianna move over to Theo and hug him tightly.

Gina: Oh daddy, I'm so scared for you.

Britanny: Dad, never, EVER do anything for that little troll again!

Brianna: Dad! Next time, tell us if that little monster tries anything. We'll get him for you, and we promise.

Theo sighs and tries to hug his daughters back as best he can.

Theo: Overall, I was incredibly glad when it was over… And the night before I left, we ate, we drank, and we actually had a good time, something or a rarity with Happosai…

Ranma: A rarity because the old perv actually let you partake in his binges, right?

Theo (Nods his head): Yes.

--=BEGIN FLASHBACK=--

We see Happosai and Soun sleeping on the ground, both passed out into a deep coma from severe alcohol intake.

Soun (Mumbles in sleep): Oh… Kimiko… Kimiko my love…

Happosai (Mumbles in sleep): No… No… Stupid Amazon wenches… Yer treasures are mine, ye 'ear? Mine…

Theo is in his black mage suit. He is sitting by the campfire and he packing his stuff to return home. He is thoroughly disgusted with Happosai.

Theo (Thinks): Well, the little idiot isn't a threat to Jade… He's just an evil little monster that's a threat to all Japan! I'll have to write a form to have a group of mages go to end the little monsters existence once and for all…

Then, Theo hears a noise to his side. Turning his head, Theo sees Genma walk over to him, a smile on his face.

Theo: Is there something wrong, Genma?

Genma tries to put up a good front as he walks over to Theo.

Genma: So, Theodore, I understand that your wife is with child?

Theo turned his head back to his luggage. He wanted to make sure he had everything in his bag. He's known Genma to have quite the sticky fingers since he's met him.

Theo: Yes. She should be giving birth anytime this month.

Genma (Smiles): Ah! Good, good. Theodore, I've been thinking, though you are gaijin, you have the soul of a true Japanese man!

Theo blinked, unsure if Genma was trying to compliment or insult him.

Theo: Thanks… I think. Is there anything you wanted to speak to me about?

Genma: Why, yes! Do you know about arranged marriages?

Theo: Yes. What about them?

Sitting down next to Theo, Genma took a moment to clear his throat. Theo shuddered as the phlegm from Genma's throat hit his luggage.

Genma: Well, I myself have a wife, and we hope to have a child. And when I think about how your wife is with child… Well, how would you like to arrange a marriage between our children?

Theo (Raises an eyebrow): Excuse me?

Genma: I'm whole-heartedly serious, Diggers-san. I am so amazed what you've told me about you, your wife, and where you live, and I can't help but feel impressed. I know your child would be a perfect match for my child, I just know it…

Theo (Blinks): But… You don't have any children…

Genma: Not yet I don't, but someday! And when I do, I would be honored if you would allow our children to copulate.

Then, mentally, Genma couldn't help but add his own amendment.

Genma (Thinks): Plus, I'd LOVE to get into that money.

Theo thought about it for a moment. He thought about his own life. True, his family had skills in magic, and martial arts, but there was something about the Japanese culture that could truly add a feeling of 'completeness' to the household. Call it a lapse in good thought, in mistake of good judgment, or what you will, but Theo agreed.

Theo: I would be honored to make such an agreement with you, Saotome.

Theo and Genma then shook hands.

--=END FLASHBACK=--

Theo: After that, Genma and I made up a contract. And as a 'down payment' for a dowry, I had given him ten gold pieces, a turkey sandwich on rye bread with mayonnaise and mustard, and a large Coca Cola.

Finished with his explanation, Theo dug into his Pocket of Holding and took out the contract, which he had kept all this time. He then looked around and saw that his wife, daughters, and Ranma had a total look of shock on their faces, which seemed to get worse as they took a look at the very legal-looking document.

Theo: Is something wrong?

Ranma was the first to gain his thought. He realized that Theo had made the FIRST engagement pledge in written document before Soun and Genma made that stupid verbal pledge, AND Theo had given Genma a bit of dowry… This meant that by all rights THIS was the engagement to be honored.

Brianna chuckled all of a sudden. She realized it would be perfectly okay with her to have fun with Ranma. After all, as the document showed, he was to be engaged to 'a daughter of Theodore Diggers'. And Brianna counted as that.

Brianna: Well, he's not exactly at the fiancé stage anymore… Heh…

Gina was shell-shocked. She never realized her father had prepared an arranged marriage before she was born. Why didn't he tell her sooner, instead of letting her spend years trying to find a boyfriend! After all, she liked how Ranma was in the sack. She could have been with Ranma instead of wasting her time!

Britanny blinked. This prime example of hunk was supposed to be either her of her sisters' fiancé? Was this supposed to be some part of a cosmic joke?

Julia frowned. She hated this, but realized it was a matter of honor as she looked over the document. Julia then decided that she should find an armament suitable of torturing Theo with when this was all sorted out.

Julia: Well, Theo… Looks like your document was upheld, without you even having to lift a finger…

Theo: Yes… That is freaky…

Julia: And Theo…

Theo: Yes dear?

Julia: You were mad at Ranma earlier… And yet you were the one that wanted him to marry one of our little girls?

Theo: I didn't know he was Genma's son. I thought he was some sort of evil person…

Julia: Theo… You and I are in need of a looooooooooong talk…

Britanny: Hey, Ranma… Are you okay?

Ranma then finally gained his composure and spoke, not necessarily answering Britanny, but he spoke.

Ranma: GENMA NO BAKA!!!

(------)

Ryoga and Penny let out another simultaneous orgasm as Ryoga thrust himself for the last time that day. Ryoga laid onto of her back as Penny let out another sigh of relief.

Penny: Thanks, I needed that.

Ryoga: Don't mention it.

Penny: But I still feel bad though.

Ryoga: About what?

Penny: Kevin, my boyfriend.

Penny: Yeah… You mentioned his name earlier.

Sighing, Penny grabbed Ryoga's right hand and held it tightly.

Penny: I'm sorry. But we can't do this. This isn't right.

Ryoga nodded his head in agreement. He realized both of them had full lives ahead of them.

Ryoga: Yeah. I still got to finish high school and all.

Ryoga was confused when Penny became silent for the longest while, as if she had just come to a revelation. Finally she just screamed out, startling Ryoga.

Penny: HIGHSCHOOL!!! How old are you!?

Penny then sat up causing Ryoga to sit up too. She spun around to face Ryoga.

Ryoga: Eighteen! W, why?

Penn (Sighs): I thought you were young. I'm twenty-four.

Ryoga: Oh. For a moment, I thought were about to have a rocky marriage.

Penny: Marriage? I didn't marry you. (Blushes). Well not intention at least…

Ryoga: Well, I… I…

Penny: Listen, Ryoga. You seem like you're an okay guy, but this isn't going to work. You're still in school and I'm out of college. I go explorations while you study for a math test. How is this a marriage and moreover do we love each other?

Ryoga (Blushes): Well…

Ryoga didn't know what to tell Penny for a response. Ryoga was only trying to be courteous to the whole situation. Everything was happening too fast for him. One minute he chasing after Ranma, the next minute he's having sex with this woman and finally he find himself married with this American. Ryoga looked into Penny's eyes.

Ryoga: What in the world happened?

Penny: Well, do we?

Penny didn't have to wait too long for her answer as Ryoga leaned forward and kissed her passionately. Penny found herself getting hot all over again. Their conservation became a rhythm of two bodies rubbing together. Penny question of love came in a form of an orgasm as Ryoga answer came a second after hers.

(------)

End Chapter 2

Next Time: Now that Ranma's been introduced, Ranma and the Diggers girls still try to figure out how they got into the situation they're in, and begin to come to some realizations when Penny calls Gina. And will Brianna EVER get her turn!?

Author's Notes: I'd like to thank Arhicks for all his encouragement and enlightenment. It's tough to find a harsh, yet fair critic, and he's one of the best. He gave me the courage to do this fic in a way that will surprise people. He was the one that helped me work out the idea with Ryoga+Penny. God bless this guy.

-This is RedPriest17, signing off.

Send your questions and comments to Ryutsurugi@yahoo.com

Note: Flames will be read and then given to Brianna to use for target practice.