RANMA 1/2 HENTAI RPG - 11: thread 3: part 1 > http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ranmahentairpg/ Compilation by St Fan (well... a little more than that, actually) [CONTINUED FROM EPISODE 9 (THREAD 1) & EPISODE 11 (START)] Re: Crowded dojo (Eros is slightly late) bigkimo2 "Now THIS is interesting," mused Sana to herself as she leapt from rooftop to rooftop, headed towards Ucchan's. "I can sense the Hibiki kid is trying to ditch his destined lover...welllll, she IS pretty cute..." she giggled mischeivously as she made a particularly high jump. "...I'm sure she could use some comforting before she and Ryoga are brought back together!" She would have sped up the pace, but at that moment a flying Happosai smacked her in the face and sent her hurtling downward like a comet. "WAAAHH!" she cried, flailing her arms out, and caught the geezer on the back of the head, knocking him down with her. Happy's new love St Fan, Kami of Writer's Block Happy slowly peels his face from the pavement, and staggers on his short legs, a hand rubbing his head. Unbearably cute, little cupids are flying in circle around his bald cranium. "Hu... what hit me? Oh yeah, I remember... too bad this boy doesn't know how to use his dick as well as his umbrella..." Shaking head to clear his mind, he then notices the gorgeous, stunned woman that cushioned his fall (she can't maintain her invisibility with a serious headache, right?). The old master's eyes instantly change into huge, pulsing hearts. "SSWWWWWWWEEEEEEEEEEEEEETTOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Does I really need to add *GLOMP*? Re: End of the orgy (Umm...ew?) bigkimo2 Sana-chan blinked awake after a brief blackout. It was humiliating, a goddess knocked out by some sort of flying debris, but at least she hadn't been hit by a car or something, thereby revealing her immortality to whoever happened to be walking by. "Oohhhhhh..." she murmured, sitting up. "What happ-ERK." She blink-blinked as she felt a bizarre pressure on her breasts. While most women would have shrieked and pounded whatever was glomping them off, Sana merely stared down at Happosai for a moment before shaking her head in disgust and poking the top of his old little skull. "Oi!" she said angrily. "If you're going to feel a girl up, you might as well make sure she enjoys it! Work the nipples more, moron! Now LEGGO!" she shoved at him, trying to pry him off of her bountiful chest. Happy's comeback St Fan, Kami of Writer's Block Happy doesn't hear much of what Sana is saying. Instead, his diminutive body is crackling with static electricity, as if he's gripping an electrified fence. Startled by the weird phenomenon, Sana's efforts to pry him off become frantic. Finally, Happosai lets go and jumps a few feet away, shaking more than if on an overdose of caffeine. "H-H-HOLLY FUCK! T-That's the b-b-b-best charge I had in years!!!" Still trembling uncontrollably, and with an unnerving light in his bloodshot eyes, he lifts his pipe to his lips. Strangely, the tobacco takes fire without him using a cracker. "Y-Y-You're not an ordinary g-g-g-girl, are you? N-N-N-No human could have that m-m-much raw k-k-k-ki-ki-*ki* in him or her!" Re: Happy's Back! (Interesting...) bigkimo2 Sana grimaced. He'd left burn marks on her bikini top...she stood up and eyed the little man regally, making her voice a deep, throaty purr. "I am no mere mortal, old man...I am a GODDESS..." ...she then proceeded to grin and lean forward, emphasizing her cleavage perfectly for Happi's height. "And I recognize you. You're that perverted panty-thief, ne?" Sana-chan's mind formed a brilliant (well, to her it was brilliant) idea. If this old guy was as perverted as the files made him out to be, he could be a valuable asset to her mission... "Saaayyy," she cooed down at him, trying to avoid the sparks shooting off his tiny form, "how would you like to do me a little favor?" Without waiting for response, she continued. "You help Sana-chan set up all the proper couples for lovemaking, and in return, I'll..." she thought to herself, crossing her arms and pushing her ample breasts together. "...I'll give you theeeese." she pointed with a finger down towards her bikini-style bottoms, which clung like a second skin to her otherwise bare crotch. "I think these panties could keep you charged up for a long while..." she said teasingly, reaching down and tugging a bit at the left side of the thongesque garment (I wonder what its name is...). Re: Happy's Back! (Interesting...) St Fan, Kami of Writer's Block Happosai's first reaction is to stay frozen, like a statue, at hearing Sana's proposal. Suddenly, a burst of flame shots from his pipe, burning every single trace of tobacco left in half a second. Then, the old pervert opens his mouth, wide, and Sana has to step back to avoid the pool of drool flowing on the ground. "A g-g-g-goddess... g-g-g-g-g-goddess' PANTIES!!!" Happy begins to daydream, flying in a white clouds-adorned sky, dressed as a SD knight in shining armor, reaching to catch a panties-shaped Holy Graal... 'Godess' panties... it would be the pinnacle of my collection... the greatest energy reserve I could ever dream of... maybe that with those in my possession, I may even complete my ultimate technique!' (I hope Sana is not trying to read his thoughts. the latest telepath who attempted that fainted with a nosebleed...) "Yes! My goddess, tell what is your desire! I'll do ANYTHING for you!" And he jumps again for a thankful *glomp.* Re: Happy's Back! (Mission! Wai!) bigkimo2 Sana-chan wobbled in place from the force of the glomp, and glared briefly down at the old man before giggling a bit. Well, old as he was, hentai was fine with her. She DID wish he'd be more considerate when he gripped, though. Too fierce a hold HURT. "Oi," she said, bonking him on the head and yanking him up to eye-level, "here's the mission. You come with me, and we set up the following couples to make love and fall in love..." She dropped the geezer and drew her Divine Shinai, using it like a pointer as a diagram appeared in midair. "First, we have the much-desired Ranma and Akane pairing. This won't be too hard; we just need to get everyone out of the way." She pointed to the next picture, an interesting double set; Akari and Ukyo, both nude, moaning and reaching out for a blushing Ryoga. "Next, Ryoga and either Akari or Ukyo. The pair's interchangible; either one will give him a good life. THIRD..." the pointed to a bokken wrapped in a yen bill. "Nabiki and Kuno. This will be hard, since Kuno is a blockhead and Nabiki is...well...her, but we can pull it off." She pointed, finally, to a massive orgy involving just about everyone. "Now THIS is something I haven't discussed with anyone else---" ...... Metatron, watching from above, facepalmed. "We should put her up for LUST cantidacy, not Cupid..." ...... "---but I think using a bit of oniisan's arrows and some lust spells, then some memory erasure afterwords, it could make a LOVELY prize for a job well done. And then you get the panties. Any thoughts?" she snapped the shinai back into storage space as the diagrams faded, her breasts gainaxing nicely as a result. Re: Happy's Back! (Mission! Wai!) St Fan, Kami of Writer's Block "I like the plan..." smirks Happosai. "...especially the last part!" he adds, grinning lecherously. Re: Happy's Back! (Oh, right...) bigkimo2 "Ano," said Sana, "I forgot; we need to hook Mousse and Shampoo up, too." Re: Happy's Back! (Oh, right...) St Fan, Kami of Writer's Block "Mousse and Shampoo, too? My, you're ambitious, lady." He doesn't mind at all the addendum; in fact, he's rather enjoying it, since it would utterly piss off that old crone of Cologne. Pulling out his ball-wrapped camera, he shows her. "I don't know if this can help, but I have a lot of blackmail material in this. And..." He fumbles into another pocket, and frowns. Soon, he's searching everywhere inside his gi, throwing various panties, bra and other underwear all around. The old master becomes frantic. "OH NO! The photo ticket! I can't find it!" Making a desperate face, he starts to weeps. "How will I live without this so hard-gained reminder of sweet Akane-chan's intercourse with Pantyhose! Now, I'll just die..." Re: Happy's back! (Say WHAT?!) bigkimo2 "NANI?" howled Sana. "Akane's already screwed that guy TARO?" She facepalmed. "Argh, so obsessed with bashing Ranma, then she goes after the boy of all curses... poor Eros doesn't even know who he is..." The busty goddess pondered, scratching her head. "He IS pretty hot, though... mm, since he has no recommended pairing, maybe I could take a souvenir back with me! ^_^" ............ Metatron groaned. ............ "In ANY case," said Sana-chan, "let's go! To the DOJO!" Re: Happy's back! (no, WAIT!) St Fan, Kami of Writer's Block "No, Stop!" Happosai try to slow down Sana by clutching bodily to her thigh. Okay, considering his weight, maybe it is for an altogether different reason. "I must first get back my photos! I've worked so very hard to get them! You wouldn't want all the sweat and blood I have shed to be spent for naught, would you? If we can get them back, then Akane-chan will do everything we'll tell her just so that nobody see them!" The old panty-thief gets an idea. "Hey, if you're truly a goddess, Sana-chan, then it should be easy for you to cast a spell and find where the ticket was lost? Please, oh please, oh pretty please!!!" he begs with big, teary doe-eyes. Re: Happy's Back! (It ain't that easy!) bigkimo2 Sana eyed Happosai, and came to a stop, sighing. "Well, okay, I'll see what I can do," she grumbled. Then she realized what he said was ON the photos. "DIRTY PICTURES OF AKANE?" she cried happily. "WAI!" she flared back her cape and began tracing runes in the air, and glanced down at the old lech. "...oi, as much as I enjoy people feeling me up, you might want to back away while I do thi---" The magical equivalent of an electrified fence shock blasted through the clinging Happosai as a glow came off of Sana-chan. "---oops," she said, shaking Happy off of her leg before continuing. The runes she traced began to glow as well, the light spilling out over her, making her cape flutter, her hair blow about. In a few more moments, the runes combined, melding into one another and forming... ...absolutely nothing. Nada. "BOSS DAMN IT!" yowled Sana-chan, hopping up and down, gainaxing beautifully as a result. "WHY doesn't the spell work? WHY WHY WHY?" she growled. "Okay, I'll have to do this the hard way..." She knelt next to Happy. "Oi. Are you all right?" Re: Happy's Back! (That hurt, you know.) St Fan, Kami of Writer's Block No, Happy isn't all right. For the old pervert, being nearly carbonized by not-far-from-divine energy wasn't exactly one of his more pleasant experiences. Not that he hadn't endured worse before, or that he'll show any hint of weakness in front of a woman, even a goddess. Anyway, with the strong ki he le(e)ched from Sana-chan's contact, his quick-healing factor will get him back into shape in no time. Getting unsteadily back to his feet, the blackened, smoking, burnt Happosai gives her a toothless grin. "Of course I'm all right... what can make you think something could be wrong?" he answers, emitting a rather strong smell of fried chicken. Re: Happy's Back! (Eh-heh...) bigkimo2 Sana rubbed the back of her head, sweatdropping. "Oh, nothing," she said, giving a short laugh. "I just thought you looked slightly...um...singed." She wrinkled her nose at the smell; she HATED Katsu foods. "Anyway, where do you last remember having that photo ticket?" Her eyes widened to the size of dinner plates. "AND WHERE THE HELL DID YOU GO TO GET IT DEVELOPED?!" Re: Happy's Back! (Dumb me...) St Fan, Kami of Writer's Block "Well, in the Instant Photo Shop, just at the corner of the street." Then Happy slaps a fist in his palm. "Of course! All I'll have to do is asks them gently, there's no need for a ticket. After all they no doubt remember me." So, he rockets along the street at breakneck speed, yelling at Sana- chan's attention: "I'll be back in a jiffy!" Sana blink-blinks, dumbfounded that an old geezer like Happosai could have so much energy packed in such a frail-looking body. After a few minutes later, though, her reflection about what to do next (or whatever take lieu inside the air-head goddess' mind) is brutally interrupted by a violent explosion. Coming out of the smoke and falling debris, Happy rejoins her, a photo packet under the arm, and mumbling angrily. "The nerves of those people. Refusing to give me my photos just because I don't have the ticket. There's no respect for old peoples, those days. Well, I'll go to another shop for the next batch, that'll teach them..." (He doesn't have much a choice, though, since only rubbles are left from this shop °_°;) Re: Happy's Back! (Yosh, iku-ze!) bigkimo2 Sana _sweatdropped._ "Umm...kay. IN any case, we really should get goin'. Where were we gonna start?" Her eyes flickered for a moment, and she sensed Eros's presence back at the Tendo Dojo. "Wellll..." she said thoughtfully, putting a finger to her chin, "I'm sure oniisan can handle all the stuff over there!" ............. Eros looked up at all the bathroom dwellers nervously. "Eh-heh..." ............. "...So, why don't we move right along tooooo..." She whipped out the shinai again and tossed it into the air, calling out inspirationally. "Divine Sword, tell me where my targets lie! Where must I--" The bamboo sword spiralled down and clonked against Happy's head before stopping on the ground. Sana-chan facepalmed, picked it up, and scowled. "Ah, forget it," she grumbled, "Why won't ANY of my spells work today...in any case...hmm." She blinked down at Happosai. "Say, you're a hentai. Pick which pair we should work on first. Shampoo and Mousse? Ukyo/Akari and Ryoga? Anyone. I need to DO something around here." Re: Happy's Back! (Itai!) St Fan, Kami of Writer's Block "Ouch!" Happy massages his bald skull where Sana-chan hit him with the shinai. He looks at the fledgeling goddess with narrowed eyes as she grumbles about the lack of success of her spells. The old perverted master is beginning to have serious doubts about her competencies. She reminds him a lot of Akane trying to cook or to tidy the house, and flunking it. When she inquires him about what to do, betraying her indecision and lack of initiative, he sighs. At least she was smart enough to ask advice from a real source of experience and wisdom. "Well, considering the little material I got there, Akane and Ranma would be a good choice. Since they'll probably requires us the most work to bring them together, better starting now. Also, all the other revolve on way or the other around those two, so they'll be easier to handle once the lad and the cutie are hitched together." He takes a triumphant (on his viewpoint) pose, mimicking the one tried by Sana a few minutes ago. "So... TO THE DOJO!" Re: Happy's Back! (And someone watches.) bigkimo2 Now, I'm sure everyone was wondering what happened to a certain someone named Kairo. Journeys to the Mortal Realm of Midgard (yes, they HAD to say it that way) were always fun for young demons like Kairo. Considering that sex only for torturous purposes was the norm in mainstream hell (i.e. the Goatse Room), going to Midgard was, to Kairo, like a G.I. on shore leave in Bangkok. So, the demon (dressed in a simple set of jeans and a thin, black t- shirt; his cloak he kept merely for dramatic purposes) strolled down Nerima's streets with a smile on his face. Two shadows, looking rather bouncy and feminine despite the total absence of anyone in Kairo's wake, floated along behind him. "Master-nyo!" Neko-chan whispered in his ear. "Shouldn't we be looking for Eros and Sana-nyo?" "Mmm," he nodded, a trace of fear going through him; he didn't want to know what Lord Jagkir would do if the senior demon caught him dallying so he could hit on schoolgirls. "You're right. But how will we find--" He blinked at the very luscious behind of one Sana-chan as a breeze caused by Happosai's powerposing made the goddess' cape fly up. "--never mind," he murmured, fading into invisibility, resolving to follow the pair. Re: "KAWAIKUNEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!" St Fan, Kami of Writer's Block Happosai and Sana-chan where nearing the dojo, when they hear a crushing sound and watch four peoples crashing through the roof and rising toward the sky. "Hu ho." simply comments Happy, lighting his pipe again. "Seems we're a bit late. I recognize Akane's feminine touch. Ranma must be among those new satellites; he always is. Shall we go after him, or work first on Akane-chan? She must be inside, but if she's still mad at her fiancé it wouldn't be the best moment..." Re: Kawaiikune! (Oh, fug.) bigkimo2 Eros had flown through Asgard plenty of times, so flying through the air was not too bad an experience. The fact Akane's slim foot had managed to nail him and three other people, however, made the situation less comfortable; namely, because said slim foot had left a remarkably painful mark on the cupid's divine ass. "HWAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!" *SLAM!* Eros cratered the ground in front of Taro, chips of asphalt spraying in all directions, and with a groggy moan staggered up to his feet. "Well..." he mumbled, somehow not noticing the cursed form of Don't- Call-Me-Pantyhose, "...back to the ol' drawing board...ow." He turned and started to make for the dojo again. Re: Kawaiikune! (After him!) bigkimo2 Sana blink-blinked, watching the foursome fly out of the Dojo roof, and sighed as she saw her oniichan among them. "Bakaaaa..." she muttered under her breath, before pointing at the flying away Ranma. "Let's follow him!" she gave a glance at Happi and undertook to explain. "Like you said, Akane's probably not very...friendly right now. Let's go after Ranma, ne Happy?" Then she was off, a divine blur with bouncing breasts. A pair of shadows followed her and Happosai, a bored-looking figure flitting from roof to roof farther behind. Kairo mumbled something about hating this part of the job as he followed. Re: Kawaiikune...(The "family" reunites) bigkimo2 "Anoooo..." Sana blinked as her brother groggily strolled on by. "ONIISAN!" she shouted happily, glomping onto the wearied cupid and knocking him to the ground, evoking a cry of "GWAH!" from him. She giggled and held him tightly, glancing at Happosai with her breasts pressed firm through her bikini top against the godling's robes. "This's my oniisan, Eros! Now all three of us can work together, ne?" Eros weakly tried to say something but was cut off as Sana-chan pressed her lips to his in a brief but firey kiss, sufficiently silencing him. After breaking the smooch (and lapping at his lips for a moment longer), she glanced at Happy again. "Uh...speaking of which, why don't we go where Ranma went?" Re: (The "family" reunites) St Fan, Kami of Writer's Block "Hmmmm..." Happosai finally answers Sana-chan after a lot of pondering: "Well, I'd like to, but unless you have a computer-mind able to pinpoint trajectory with great accuracy, that won't be easy to find the boy. It seems this LEO flight brought him quite a distance away..." Re: (You were saying?) bigkimo2 Eros pulled his head out of Sana-chan's cleavage, blushing feircely, and spoke. "If we're trying to find Ranma," he said weakly, "I can help." "Haaaaai!" chirped Sana, huggling her oniichan again. "He's really good at teleportation!" Eros was not as ceremonial as Sana-chan when it came to casting spells. Sure, he was a little less powerful thanks to it, but there were some things where magical sparklies were not needed... ...here, for example, all it took was a cry to the heavens of "SEND US TO RANMA, KAMI-SAMA!" With a blinding flash, the trio explosively appeared onstage beside Ranma and Ranma-chan, Eros still underneath Sana, Happosai in his pondering pose. Eros blinked. They'd appeared behind the couch, so they couldn't even SEE the pair in front of it..."What the...looks like Skuld is messing with me again. Is this a stripbar?" [TO BE CONTINUED IN EPISODE 11: THREAD 2]