You'd Least Expect                                                 by PhoneyNT

                                       -

This has sex in it, if you are underage or this is illegal where you are,
don't read it.  I warned you, so if mommy or Officer Friendly catches you
reading it, it's all your fault.

To Sebastien, whose funny post about eating ones own sex fluids caused me to
up and write up this idea which had been swimming in my head for a while any-
ways.

                                       -

   The fourth night since they'd been married.  Ranma took another breath,
then continued his ministrations on her nether regions.  He could hear her
breathing hard and feel her squirming beneath him.  His tongue flicked in a
sort of pattern he had made up to help him coordinate his efforts and to keep
from getting bored.

   He felt her start shaking, and the fluid output increased slightly.  And
then, predictably, she bucked upwards, almost making him bite his tongue,
and cried out.  "Ranma--I love you!" she gasped.

   Ranma watched as her head fell to the side.  He crawled up to her for a
kiss, but she turned her head sideways to receive it on the cheek.

   "Was it...ok?" Ranma asked cautiously.

   "Mmm..just great.." Akane replied, then yawned.  The exertion seemed to
have tired her out.  She turned on her side and placed her arms around him.
Her breathing slowed down and steadied.  She was asleep.

   "Not again," Ranma sighed internally.  He'd been aching to get off this
time, too.  He considered waking her up, but she looked so peaceful.  A twinge
of guilt squeezed his heart, and he decided against it.

   "If only she didn't work so hard during the day," he moaned.  She always
seemed to have only enough energy to stay awake long enough to get eaten out.

   Ranma sighed.  

   He sat on the bed, leaned against the headboard, and enclosed his stiff
member in his hand.  Slowly he began to shift his hand up, then down,
repeatedly.  A short moan escaped his lips, but he quieted quickly.  What if
Akane were to wake up and find him like this?  She'd feel very insulted...

   "And I'd have a quick trip to the sky!" he finished silently.

   He looked down at his stiff little buddy, shaking in his hand as he jacked
it.  A drop of clear fluid oozed obscenely from the tip and stayed there,
rippling and shaking with his dick.

   The feelings spiraled higher and higher, and in his lust he got an inspir-
ation.  Using his martial-arts flexibility, he leaned down and engulfed his
own penis in his mouth.  The feeling and even the thought of what he was doing
drove him over the edge.  With a low moan, his body began to rumble, and then
Ranma pumped his wad into his own mouth.  He was surprised at the taste, but
he took it down easily enough.

   "I tasted my own before Akane even tried to.  Geez."

   He then lay on his side.  He turned to Akane, and, smirking, kissed her
full on the lips, allowing some of the semen remaining in his mouth to slip
through and to rest on her lips.

   "Serves you right," he laughed.

                                       -

I wondered, why do lemons always have women masturbating, but not the
opposite?  I decided that this was unfair so I wrote the lemon that...

                           You'd Least Expect

Twenty-five minutes. Boom boom! This lemon qualifies for the One Hour contest,
the Gross-Out Lemon contest, and the Five-Page Contest.  Bwahahahaha!
Special thanks to EoRaptor, aka Andrew Stodden, writer of the "Whose Life Is
It Anyways" fanfic, for all the data on "dopamine" and "positive feedback
loops."  And for lettin' me know about that drop of fluid at the end or
whatever...geez...i'm 18, i oughta know about this stuff :)

I feel kinda guilty writing about something with which I have no first-hand
or even close second-hand experience.  Why is this?  Because it guarantees
that anything I write will be a regurgitation of other stories about the same
thing.  How can I put out my own interpretation of these events if I barely
know what they're about? :)  (Note: this doesn't apply to strip poker,
Richard ;)

And NO, this lemon was not exactly a turn-on to write.  I am not homosexual.
I hope you are thinking, or at least puking.  I wrote this to get you to do
either of those two. :)

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If I can't drink until I'm 21, because it's dangerous....
Why can I get drafted at 18?                    - we436@freenet.victoria.bc.ca