From: DeAtHBoY9@aol.com Subject: [FFML] C&C on a treatment, please I'm looking for C&C on this idea because I really like it and want to make it as good as possible. Please be blunt. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ ---------------------------------------------- Standard disclaimer crap: I own none of the characters, names, or anything else remotely resembling something owned by Shogokukan Inc. or any other bigwig company controlling powerful and intimidating lawyers with a taste for human blood. ***** Well, here goes. I'm just jotting down another idea that's been bouncing around in my head. As always, C&C is greatly appreciated. Be blunt. I know it's not the best in the world, so don't be afraid to tell me that. Anyways, I'd better start now. ***** Um, another warning, I guess. (I wrote this one after writing some of the story) Y'see, I didn't expect any sexual content to find its way into this story, but it did. I don't know if it'd qualify as lemon (at least, not yet...I hope I don't get carried away), but I'm warning you nonetheless. If y'all be squeamish, hyper-sexually sensitive, or Catholic, you might not wanna read this. Although I really do like the story, so I suggest just skipping parts you find inappropriate. Or not. Y'know, whatever. I can't force you to do anything. ***** Akane was smiling with nostalgia for last night. She sighed, and decided to take a bath; she smelled a little funny. Walking to the bathroom and not seeing the 'occupied' sign, she slipped into the changing room and undressed. The reflection in the mirror caught her eye. Smiling, she finished disrobing and opened the door into the bathroom. "Good morning, Akane. I knew you'd fall for this." Eyes opened quite wide she shouted "Ranma? You *planned* this?!? HENTAI!!!" Lunge. Ranma easily caught Akane's flailing arms and pulled her into the bath. "Now, Akane, you know very well I enjoy seeing you naked. You're beautiful, trim, fit, and I love you." Akane heard those words and remembered the night before. Melting into Ranma's powerful arms she purred "I love you too, Ranma. I'm sorry. I just got carried away and forgot about our recent developments." "Akane, that's alright. I more often than not deserved it in the past, and old habits are hard to break." "Ranma, do you really think I'm beautiful, or did you just say that to get me in the sack?" Ranma chuckled. "Akane, you are beautiful. I know I used to always call you uncute and unsexy and a tomboy, but I was just trying to hurt you because you hurt me." Akane jerked back and stared at Ranma with fire in her eyes. "I hurt YOU? What are you talking about? You're the one who always started the fights! Of all the conceited, arrogant..." Ranma's kiss forestalled any further comment. Ending it, he carressed Akane's cheek saying "Akane, please listen. We both promised to listen before overreacting, remember?" After she had nodded the affirmative, he continued. "Now Akane, remember the first day of school after I got here?" Again, he waited for her to nod. "Remember how you helped me out with Kuno after we landed in the pool? Well, when you did that, I realized that I loved you. Kinda strange, actually, but after knowing you for less than a week, I had fallen in love with you. Anyways, that night, I decided to thank you for helping me out. I went to your room, and was about to knock on the door when I overheard you talking - well, yelling, rather - to Nabiki." Akane rememberd that quite well. Ashen faced and ashamed she looked to Ranma and softly asked "you...heard that?" Ranma nodded. Akane was now starting to cry. "You mean...the whole reason you hurt me was because I hurt you?" Now, the tears were coming full force. "And I had the sheer audacity to hit YOU for it? I'm such a BAKA!" she cried before collapsing into sobs. "Ssssssshhhhh. Akane, it's alright. What's done is done. Just know that I do love you, and nothing will ever change that." "Do you really mean it, Ranma?" Akane inquired with tears and shame in her eyes. "Yes. Akane Tendo, I love you. I will marry you, and we will live a happy life and have many happy children." Akane had stopped crying by now, and was looking to Ranma with a suspicious air about her. "Just HOW many children are you going to want, Ranma?" Smiling, he kissed her forehead. "As many as you want, Akane. Although, I do think that if we're going to have kids, we should get some practice so we can get it right the first time around. As man and wife, that is." Akane was a bit shocked at Ranma's forewardness. "You don't want to? Fine. Just sit back and relax. I'll do all the work." Akane was pushed back to the edge of the tub, Ranma radiating lust and love the entire way. Any further thought on that topic was forestalled by the intense waves of pleasure wracking Akane's body. ***** Nabiki looked on with disgust, contempt and jealousy on her face, and her hand down her pants. She spasmed violently as she came. Panting, she removed her bra with the one free hand. This would normally be difficult, but she wasn't wearing a shirt and had also had alot of practice at it. Removing her other hand from her pants, she reached up and started rubbing her juices all over her breasts, moaning and gasping as her fingers brushed across her nipples. She arched her back, bringing her breasts high into the air above her bed. Slipping her pants and her wet panties off, she sighed (for two reasons) Nabiki brought her right hand down to her inner thigh and started teasing them, building up the sexual tension. Gasping, she brings her hand up to the junction of her legs. <...nah. Akane wouldn't go for that. Ranma'd love it, but then so would any other male. They dream of having two girls at the same time.> Hastening her pace, she brought her other hand up to her breasts and started massaging them again. Before she climaxes, she stops, spreading eagle on her bed. Smiling, she gets up and goes over to her closet. She opens the door, moves some shirts hanging in there out of her way, and removes a false wall panel to reveal a safe. She spins the dial, putting in the combination so she may gain access to the things that are most precious to her. The safe opens, and she pulls out 2 things: a little vial of clear liquid with an eyedropper taped to it, and a vibrator with the word 'Ranma' on it in big, red hirigana characters. <...then I'll have to improvise.> She goes back to the bed, uses the eyedropper to put some of the clear liquid under her eyelids, and turns on the vibrator. As the LSD kicks in, she inserts 'Ranma' into herself, and proceeds to have a VERY good trip. ***** "mmmmmm...Ranma? Does that mean you just said you loved me to get me in the sack?" "Yup." Akane giggles and thwomps Ranma with a pillow. Ranma moves the pillow off of his face, sits up, and looks around Akane's room in confusion. "Akane, weren't we in the bathroom?" Akane sits up and looks around, too. "Yeah, we were." "So why are we in your room now?" "Well, I think it had something to do with the fact that you tounged me for a good 5 hours, with me orgasming every 15 minutes. With all that, I got a bit exhausted and passed out." Ranma smiles, then looks ashamed. "I'm sorry for making you pass out. If I'd known that I was going to exhaust you like that, I wouldn't have gone on for as long as I did." Thwomp take two. "Ranma, that pillow was for being a baka. You know very well that I was writhing in passion the entire time. Also, I didn't pass out just because I was exhausted. The pleasure overwhelmed me and my body shut down. There were just too many pleasure signals for my brain to handle." Ranma tossed the pillow aside and looked to Akane, who had snuggled up under his right arm again. "Akane, I'm calling off the engagement." Shame that Akane's mirror couldn't handle having a teenaged martial artist hurled through it. That was a nice mirror, too. "What?!? Why? Was all that REALLY to just get me in the sack?!?" She was torn between being heartbroken and violated or being furious. The tears won, and she collapsed into sobs. "Just...get out of here, Ranma. I NEVER want to see you AGAIN!!!" Ranma brushed the broken glass off of himself as he stood up. "God damnit, Akane! What is wrong with you?!? You ALWAYS jump to conclusions before you know all the facts!" "SHUT UP!!! YOU BASTARD!!! YOU USE ME FOR SEX AND THEN HAVE THE GALL TO INSULT ME?!? GET THE F..." Akane was interrupted as Ranma seized her by the shoulders and looked into her eyes with barely controlled anger. "AKANE, SHUT UP!!!!!!!" Akane had never seen Ranma this angry, and she was fairly frightened for her life. "Akane, I'm calling off the engagement. That DOESN'T mean, however, that I don't want to marry you!" "Huh?" "Akane, throughout our entire relationship, we've resented each other and become jealous because this engagement was forced upon us, and neither of us really wanted it. We loved each other, but weren't sure if that feeling was mutual. So when things-like Shampoo, Kuno, Kodachi, and Ukyo-went wrong, we would always try to hurt the other because we didn't want to let them know our true feelings. Well, this is how I'm going to remedy the problem: I've already broken the engagement, but Now I want to reinstate it." Ranma lets go of Akane and goes over to his discarded pants. He pulls out a little ring box and comes back to Akane, kneeling in front of her. "Akane Tendo, I love you. I want to marry you. I want to know that you want to marry me. If you say yes to the question I'm about to ask, then we'll both know that we could have gotten out of the engagement, but didn't. We'll know that WE chose each other, not our fathers." Ranma opens the box to reveal a simple ring with a single diamond in the center of the wedding band. "Akane Tendo, will you marry me?" ***** Nabiki snapped out of her trip when she heard those words. "What the f...?" she cried as she raced over to her monitors, 'Ranma' still in her. Watching Akane burst into tears and throw herself into Ranma's arms didn't help the sinking feeling she had in her stomach, either. "Ahh SHIT!!! This is SO not good! I'm going to have to work quickly!" She pulls 'Ranma' out of her, shuts 'him' off, and sits in her office chair cross- legged. She licks her juices off of it as she ponders. She gets up and puts her *things* away and rehides them. "Oh, well. As they say: 'There's no rest for the wicked'..." ***** -- .---Anime/Manga Fanfiction Mailing List---. | Administrators - ffml-admins@fanfic.com | | Unsubscribing - ffml-request@fanfic.com | | Put 'unsubscribe' in the subject | `---http://www.fanfic.com/FFML-FAQ.txt ---'