Twisted - The Board Game

virtual disclaimer: <insert disclaimer.txt body bgcolor="#808080" text="#FFFFFF" link="#00FF00" vlink="#00FFFF" alink="#FF0000"> <Ranma.cha = (tm) Takahashi.Rum.><SpellsR.Us_ ="Bill Hart">
also include the usual "don't bother flaming me, i've prob already set the filter to delete your e-mail" disclaimer and the notification that certain other frequent bashers might as well go to the next fic 'cause i'm not interested in being insulted or dismissed by certain well known elitist (fill in the blank with pejoritive of choice). (hereafter referenced as Disclaimer #1 and Disclaimer #2)

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Chapter One: A Nude Hope

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Nabiki inspected the game board, her curiosity piqued by how old the case looked. Obviously, with its carved wood exterior and what looked like old lead-based paints, the game box had been around awhile. After all, if it were really old, and it looked antique, it might have some value to a collector. "Where did you find this, Akane?"

"Some curio shop over on Yokoshima Street. Never saw it before."(1)

Nabiki frowned, she didn't remember a Yokoshima Street. "Hmmm. Looks complicated."

"Oh, how cute." Kasumi looked over the tiny little paths that curled and branched among themselves, the spinner with its odd little words, and the two decks of cards. Her smile slipped a little as something cold, metaphorical, and with a lot of legs scampered up her back. (2)

"This strange custom of Japanese people. But if Ranma play, then Shampoo play."

"Whatever, after all that, I'm just glad we're still talking, Ranchan." Ukyou shuddered at the memory of the failed wedding. And of her being stinking drunk when Akane and Ranma had dropped by the Ucchan's to have a talk with her. If they had attacked at that point, she would have died- gladly.

"I fail to see where I did anything that Heaven itself did not require of me." Nobody had invited either of the Kunos. That hadn't kept them from showing up.

"AIYAAAAHH!!" Shampoo leapt up, and her hair almost stood on end. (3)

"Geez, Shampoo, what's your problem."

"<Look at the game tokens and *try* to tell me I shouldn't be in a panic, damn it!!>"

"Try that in Japanese, sugar?"

"Game is setting itself up. Please to look at game pieces and tell Shampoo why she should not be heading for horizon." (4)

"That's sill...." Nabiki's eyes locked onto the tiny silver shorthaired Japanese girl, ledger in hand, that walked into the "Start" area. Joining a bronze shorthaired Japanese girl in a gi, a marble Amazon complete with tiny bonbori, a wooden okonomiyaki chef, an ivory pigtailed martial artist, a golden samurai, a grayish stone gymnast, and an aquamarine Japanese housewife. All in 9mm scale. "Eeep."

"Uh oh."

"This does not bode well."

"Shampoo have really bad feeling about this."

"Oh my."

"Ah, the noble Blue Thunder is represented by a golden samurai. How fitting."

"Shampoo, you don't want to leave." Nabiki was scanning the rules quickly. "It says here 'Substantial Penalty For Early Withdrawal.' It doesn't say *what* the penalty is."

"Okay, so what does the winner get?"

Nabiki flinched. "Akane, the name of the game is 'Twisted' NOT 'Twister', and it has nothing to do with tornadoes. Did you even notice that this is a sex game?"

"Oh my!"

Everyone did a double take and looked at Shampoo, who managed to look embarassed at her outburst.

"The rules of the game are simple:
"1. Each turn, counterclockwise from the player sitting nearest the Start position, each player rolls a dice. You then have ten seconds to either truthfully answer the question on the space, or pull the Dare card. If you fail to do so, the player will be forced to answer the question AND pull a Dare card. Pulling a Dare card will require the player to undergo whatever is on the card. Transformation (physical, mental, emotional, or some combination) is also a possibility.
"2. Landing on a Spinner square hits you with the effect the needle stops on."

Ukyou read the little words that surrounded the spinner. "Epiphany. Second Childhood. Role Playing. Bimbo. 20 Minutes In The Closet. Return To Start. Advance Three Spaces. Draw A Dare. Share A Nightmare. Bizarre Body Modification." (5)

A shudder passed through the room, even Kasumi looked heavily discomfited.

"Shampoo dislike saying this when Shampoo already get hostile speech from Airen, but Shampoo want to beat Akane over head with game right now."

Akane shook her head. "It's not my fault! That guy behind the counter promised me that this was just the game I needed to break through the tension and solve the problems I... we've got."

"I can't read these squares, the print is so tiny." Kasumi said.

"Ahem. 3. Substantial Penalty For Early Withdrawal. You Have Been Warned. Also penalties exist for cheating, attacking the game or other players, and attempting to lie while playing the game.

"4. The first person whose token reaches the Finish Square is granted a wish. Cure a curse, marry the person of your choice, live happily ever after, get untold riches. Phrase the wish carefully however, as it will be granted to the letter. See reference 'monkey's paw wishes'."(6)

"Well?" Ranma said after a moment.

"That's it," Nabiki put the little folded paper aside.

"A wish?" Soun said, appearing from nowhere.

"I see," said Genma, likewise suddenly there.

Both reached, grabbed pieces which were suddenly there, and slapped them into the "Finish" area.

"I wish that our houses were joined!" Soun cried triumphantly.

"I wish that I was free of the panda!" Genma said with a smile.

Lightning flashed. Thunder crashed. The feeling of a presence came into the room. An invisible feeling of someTHING that was there. Something old and inhuman, powerful and intelligent, and that HATED beyond anything mere humans could manage. A voice spoke, sounding like the rustling of thousands of tiny bugs. "CHEATERS! I shall ensure that your wishes are granted!"

Everyone present stared as an outrageously feminine Genma-chan led a drooling Soun upstairs.

"Anyone else want to try cheating?" The whispery voice spoke.

Everyone, even Kodachi Kuno, shook their heads furiously.

The sense of presence faded.

Looking at the little figures, and glancing nervously upstairs where the rhythmic thumping noise was coming from, Nabiki swallowed. "Ok. Who wants to go first?"

"It is only fair that the noble scion of the House of Kuno be the first to rattle the ivory."

Everyone watched as Kuno rolled the dice, then continued to watch as the tiny golden samurai walked forward four paces.

"Anyone else notice that the pips on the dice are different for each face. And the one is a skull shape?"

"Thanks, Ukyou, I was *trying* not to notice that." Akane was sweating rather profusely, wanting nothing more than to head off towards the horizon as Shampoo had suggested earlier.

The golden samurai stepped on a square and spoke, apparently reading the words beneath it. Everyone noticed that it was speaking with Tatewaki Kuno's voice.

"Early on did you seek,
Of opposite sex to gain a peek,
Voyeur you were, not meek,
of where and how now speak."

"The noble Tatewaki Kuno does *not* sneak. Such actions are below the..." Kuno frowned, feeling a gathering resistance in the air. "Are below the dignity of a samurai... urk."

"Uh oh."

Kuno looked horrible as he answered the question. "I was twelve. I was alone with my sister and my manservant Sasuke. I watched her..."

Everyone's eyes got considerably larger as Kuno described a scene where his eleven (at the time) year old sister masturbated while he watched.

"Y-y-y-you PERVERT!" Kodachi broke her long, subdued, silence and grabbed the nearest available blunt object (a lamp). It impacted her brother without noticeable effect.

"Forbidden Action." The sense of presence returned.

<SCHWISSSSHHHHHHH> Kodachi squeaked and seemed to shrink, smaller and smaller, rising and flying towards...

"What it do?" Shampoo was the first to approach the board. Her eyes sought out the square that the little gymnast figure had marched into. It was the same square that had apparently sucked in the real gymnast. "What 'Discipline Room' mean in this context? On second thought, Shampoo really not want to know."

"Akane," Ukyou said as she watched Kuno reach for a card, "no matter what Ranchan does, I'd suggest holding off on pounding him until later."

Akane nodded, eyes big, having come to the same conclusion.

"Effect Card. Curse. Impotence." Kuno blinked. "Stupid game! How dare you inflict such upon the noble Blue Thunder!"

Again everyone felt the inevitable sense of doom as Kuno drew his bokken and slashed down at the game.

"Forbidden Action." The voice's hatred seemed magnified. "Two offenses, so close together. This will be for the Wizard."

The noble Blue Thunder giggled, which turned to a moan as he came to resemble ...Shampoo. Except that the breast size was easily doubled, and Shampoo had never (as she quickly attested) wore a leather catsuit. After all, it didn't look like you could move quickly with something THAT tight all over.

"Geez, Kuno's eyes look emptier than ever." Ranma commented as the bimbo got up and walked out of the Tendo house with a stride that had a bump and grind that was completely out-of-character for the overly dramatic samurai.

Akane suppressed a guilty thought that at least the Kunos wouldn't interfere with the rest of the evening. Kodachi was trapped in the game, and it looked like Tatewaki would be... otherwise occupied.

"Yes! YES! YES!!!" The woman's screams from upstairs brought everyone's attention briefly to where flakes of plaster were coming off the ceiling. "Again!"

"Ugh," summed up Ranma for everyone else there.

After a moment of trying to move from the area, and not getting anywhere, Ukyou swallowed and rolled the dice. Three.

The little wooden chef looked down at the writing at her feet and read the contents aloud. "Answer one question from any of the other players."

Shampoo blinked, suppressed the impulse to go for something nasty (hoping that Ukyou would return the favor), and went with something she thought was fairly safe. "Why you give up on vengeance oath on Ranma, is very big deal with Amazons to make oath like that?"

Ukyou mouthed a "thank you" towards Shampoo. "Cause I wanted a 'happy ending', was that too much to ask? I fell in love with Ranma when we were kids, that's why my Dad suggested the engagement in the first place. I wanted to live happily ever after, best friends AND husband and wife, don't ya think that would've been a LOT better than killing the two of them and going off to commit seppuku?"

"Seppuku?"

"At that point, I considered myself walking dead." Ukyou sighed and looked at the boardgame that had them all trapped. "So I guess since the 'happily ever after' is out, and we're not friends anymore, that means it's back to finding a means of vengeance."

"Well, we're trying to get back to being friends," allowed Akane. Actually, the visit to Ucchan's to take her to task for her behavior during the wedding had faded their anger a bit. Ukyou didn't remember it, but she had asked Akane to be her kaishaku (assistant to ritual suicide). And had been trying to open her belly with a spatula. Konatsu had switched the metal one for a rubber spatula sometime during Ukyou's drunk though. At the time, Ukyou had been too inebriated to notice.

That and finding that someone had scrawled "I win, you lose, and you can't stop me" on both Shampoo's and Ukyou's invitations. OK, it didn't excuse them. It *did* explain why they'd been raring for a fight instead of trying their more usual methods. Akane still wondered who had forged her handwriting and signature. And WHY. It had been throwing gasoline on an open flame.

"Shampoo think only way be free of game is to play, someone to win, yes?" Shampoo rolled the dice. Three. The little Amazon marched across the board to join the little chef.

"You is to answer one question from one other player."

Ukyou smiled. One good turn deserved another. If they just cooperated, they might survive. "Say, Shampoo, I was wondering why you never managed to kill girl type Ranma before she reached Japan or Akane after she became an obstacle."

Shampoo grimaced. "Please to keep secret shame of Amazon."

Nabiki snickered. "I already know it, Shampoo. Anybody who's watched you for awhile knows. You're not a killer, you just talk a good murder."

Shampoo flinched. "Is so. Shampoo just not have what it takes to be blooded warrior. Shampoo no can bring herself to kill Kitchen Destroyer. Is big shame on Shampoo's family."

"Heck, Shampoo, I knew about that when you didn't kill Akane after giving her the Kiss Of Death." Ranma shrugged. Mousse, on the other hand, could be a cold-blooded killer.

"What do you mean she's not a killer?" Akane looked around. "What about the time she Xi Fanged me, or tried to turn me into a duck, or tried to fix me up with Ryouga during that waterproof soap incident?" That last had been the most nearly fatal.

"Every time try to kill Akane, give chance for her get away or for Shampoo to be stopped." Shampoo looked sadly at the game, not wanting to meet anyone's eyes. The only time she really considered it to be a killing attack had been when Akane had just recovered from the Xi Fang.

"Sorry, sugar, I didn't know it was that shameful. Not being a cold-blooded killer ain't exactly a negative around here."

There was an awkward silence where everyone looked to the remaining players, who were understandably nervous. Finally Nabiki cursed under her breath and reached for the dice. She stared at the board, not rolling for another moment before finally giving it a casual-seeming flip.

All eyes were now on the little cube as it rolled to a stop, then tracked as one to the little figurine with the ledger that marched two spaces onto the playing area. The miniature Nabiki looked down at her feet and read.

"Love and sex are not the same,
Confused by most not just in name.
When late at night, you thirst for pleasure,
Whose image toys with you at leisure?"

Nabiki stared at the board for a moment, before grabbing a Dare card. She read it and grimaced.

"What is it, Nabiki?" Akane looked concerned, after all, it was her fault that her sisters had gotten caught in this trap. Though she really wanted to find a way to blame Ranma for it all.

Nabiki showed her the card.

Akane took the card, read it, and frowned.

"Uhm, Akane, without showing me the card, could you tell what was on it?"

"Oh, just that we should be nude until a different effect is drawn. Silly, really." Akane shrugged.

Ranma stared at Akane, and considered falling over with a nosebleed. "Akane, were you aware that your clothes and Nabiki's clothes just vanished?"

"Oh, so they did." Akane shrugged again, which caused Ranma to twitch a little.

"That doesn't concern you at all?" Ukyou looked a little disturbed.

"No. Why? Should it?" Akane stared at Ukyou for a moment as if unable to understand why the chef would ask such a question.

Ranma felt a brief moment of gladness that Ryouga wasn't here. He'd take one look at Akane right now and there'd be nosebleed everywhere.

"From now on, we do NOT read each other's Dare cards!" Ukyou wasn't surprised to find Kasumi, Shampoo, and Ranma all nodding their heads emphatically on that point. Ukyou had realized that the card didn't specify a duration and as Ranma already looked ready to freak, so she kept the information to herself for now.

"We're wasting time, people." Nabiki scooped up and handed the dice to Kasumi.

Kasumi rolled, reluctant in the extreme. Six. The little Japanese housewife bowed politely as she passed the other figures.

"Heart and Mind a war unclear,
Choices far and choices near,
Who Heart calls to, now speak the name,
And then for Mind, do the same."

Kasumi blinked as the 9mm version of herself stopped. "Excuse me, could you explain that one?"

Nabiki scratched at herself, not noticing the way Ranma's eyes crossed as the motion attracted his attention, then he tried desperately NOT to look. "The question it's putting forth is fairly simple. It says that the thing you most want in your heart is not what your head tells you is important. So you're supposed to say what is most important to you emotionally and what is most important to you rationally."

"Not what, Nabiki, the board said 'who'?"

Kasumi began to blush again. "Uhm well, I, Doctor Tofu... that is..."

The 9mm housewife looked up. "Rational choice is of the mind, search thy heart, who do you find?"

"The game pieces can interact with the players," said Nabiki, staring at the housewife figurine.

"Well, Doctor Tofu moved away shortly after the 'Moxibuxtion' problem, so there's someone else who occupies your heart? Better hurry, Kasumi, or the time will run out." Ukyou wondered how many of them would survive at this rate. Or simply wish they were dead.

"Oh? Ranma?"

"What is it, Kasumi?"

"Nothing." Kasumi sat back, a polite little smile showing. (7)

"Say, I don't suppose you could be reasonable and let us get away," Ukyou said hopefully to the little wooden chef. The 9mm figure shook her head. "Figures."

Ranma flipped the dice next, mainly because the glare he was getting from Akane made him afraid she'd lash out at any moment.

"Early on did you seek,
Of opposite sex to gain a peek,
Voyeur you were, not meek,
of where and how now speak."

"Huh?" Ranma scratched his head. "First girl I saw like that was Akane walking in on me in the bath, and I didn't see much there. Shampoo in the tub, but I had other stuff on my mind at the time. Oh yeah, me! First girl I saw in the nude was me!"

"Pervert," opined Akane.

"Hey! I didn't get the chance to change back to being a guy that often on the way back from China!"

"Apparently it's satisfactory," observed Nabiki after a moment of nothing happening. "I've often wondered exactly how clueless you were, Saotome. Apparently the answer is 'very'." (8)

"Hey!"

Another awkward moment in which everyone looked to the single remaining player. Even, Akane noticed, the game pieces. (My turn? Uh oh. Might as well...)

Akane rolled the dice almost as if she expected the little cube to bite her.

"Love and sex are not the same,
Confused by most not just in name.
When late at night, you thirst for pleasure,
Whose image toys with you at leisure?"

Akane was aware that even MORE attention was now being focussed on her. "Uhm, nobody? I don't do anything like that!"

There was a snort and a laugh, and everyone's eyes tracked down to Akane's game piece. The little gi-clad martial artist was rolling around laughing at the feet of the ledger carrying miniature.

"Fine, I'll pull a Dare card." Akane realized that she had to avoid getting penalized as long as she could. If something happened to her in front of Ranma she'd die of embarrassment. She thought about it and grabbed one of the cards. "Honestly! Ryouga? Doctor Tofu? Ranma?"

"Huh? What is it, Akane?" Ranma was still trying not to look at either Akane or Nabiki.

"Oh, nothing." Akane smirked and winked at Kasumi for giving her the idea.

Ranma scratched his head. How come the game wasn't punishing her? He didn't want to think about possible meanings here.

"Let's see," Akane glanced at the card and winced. "It says... this could be bad."

"Oh dear, what's it say, Akane?" Kasumi blinked, her usual "everything will work out" attitude beginning to fray.

"It says 'Ride The Brink Until Someone Helps You Past The Edge' but I'm sure that... oh dear."

"Aiyaaaa..."

"Better her than me," said Nabiki with a shudder.

"Damn, sugar. I'd like to help, but I don't go that way."

"Maybe some hot tea? Um, no I don't suppose that will help, will it?"

"Now *that* she had cumming," Akane's figurine said.

Ranma blinked and wondered why Akane was turning red like that. She was breathing hard too. "So next time you're near a cliff we gotta be careful. What's the big deal?" Ranma sniffed. "And who opened a can of tuna?"

"Uhhhhhhhh," Akane said through clenched teeth. "Rrrranma no BAKA!"

<SCHWISSHHHHHHHHH> Akane's punch never quite reached Ranma as she spun, shrinking, and vanished.

The little Akane figurine moved into the box marked 'Discipline Room' where the tiny Kodachi already stood.

Ukyou's hand shook slightly as she took the dice. "Uhm, guys, if I don't make it. Let Konatsu know that he's got the store. And some of it was kinda fun, y'know." Ukyou rolled the dice. Another three, and the chef joined the housewife on the sixth square.

"Heart and Mind a war unclear,
Choices far and choices near,
Who Heart calls to, now speak the name,
And then for Mind, do the same."

"Ranchan," said Ukyou with only a momentary hesitation. She really didn't want to face the Dare cards, but was there anyone else? "Uhm, and Ranma-honey? I don't know anyone else!"

"What about Konatsu or Tsubasa?" Nabiki didn't want to see anyone else thrown out of the game, that could be bad. Fortunately she'd been able to avoid being affected! It just seemed a little chilly.

"Get real. I may crossdress, but it's different with guys. A girl dressing like a guy is making a fashion statement or showing she's in charge of her life. A guy dressing like a girl is a pervert." Ukyou paused and looked at Ranma. "Unless they're a girl at the time, of course!"

Ranma stared at the "Punishment Room" square briefly, and continued to try to ignore the way a nude Nabiki kept shifting around and scratching herself.

There was a moment where Ukyou sweated heavily. After the passing of the moment, Shampoo rolled the dice and flinched as she rolled a five. The little Amazon figure walked forward and read from the square she stopped at.

"Better it is to give than receive,
Guilt and anger, ache to relieve,
Dominate, Punish, Pleasure with Pain,
Advance one square for each 'Clouds & Rain'."

"Huh?" Shampoo managed before vanishing.

"WHERE'D SHE GO?!" Nabiki glared at the little Amazon figurine.

The miniature cocked her head amusedly at Nabiki.

"Please tell us what's going on," Kasumi asked of her own miniature. That one bowed and winked at her flesh and blood version.

"In the room of whips and chains, many pleasures, many pains. Two girls who the rules did break, now will find another ache. A minute here, a day there, freedom comes should Amazon dare. Minds and wills grow strong or weak, tis not a place for the meek. Dominatrix she must be, or none therein shall go free."

"Well," Nabiki commented after a moment. "The name of the game *is* Twisted, so maybe this isn't a complete surprise."

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(1) Doesn't matter if it was named "Needful Things" or "Spells R Us", would you stick around to buy something from a store on a street that wasn't there earlier? When the name of the street means Wickedness? Especially if you had personal experience with curses?

(2) The beast in question is a common but mainly harmless one that practically everyone ignores. Metaforicus Symbolicus Predictica, aka the common foreshadow. At least most characters ignore it, readers know better.

(3) "Shampoo use Formula 99! Leave hair soft, manageable, and resistant to buildup of static electricity. Very important when wear tight silk clothing around baka hentai like Mousse!"

(4) Personally, i think Shampoo does have a brain in there, there is no rattling noise when she shakes her head, and that she's fairly courageous. Courage is not the absence of fear.

(5) Epiphany is the single moment when an idea or set of ideas suddenly clicks together. ie a moment of clarity or understanding. The rest should be perfectly obvious.

(6) Monkey Paw wishes are the typical demonic entity type things. Ranma wishing that he was uncursed might end up giving birth to his male form, leaving her with a (male) baby Ranma and an uncursed (and pregnant for nine months) adult female form.

(7) On a purely physical level, perhaps. Honestly though, i don't see this as improbable as Akane + Ranma and a Kasumi + Ranma relationship as more likely to last for more than a few years at most. Not problem free, but certainly more stable.

(8) i can see Ranma as choosing to remain ignorant (ignorance is not necessarily dumb) of certain aspects of life as his is already sufficiently complicated without him choosing to add additional influences. i can also see him losing shyness/nosebleed status after having to use the toilet and bathe on the way back from China, a lot of time apparently being spent in girl form.

TWISTED- the board game. lemon or lime, not sure (no sex, but it is mentioned, referenced, discussed, and a major running theme.) lemon-descriptive version pending a co-author who's comfortable with such things. hey, i'm at least willing to try doing new things... that said, basics by Gregg Sharp, with lots of input from Chris Olsen, Jim Bader's working on some scenes to be included, and feedback from a whole lotta other wonderful people.

virtual disclaimer: <insert disclaimer.txt body bgcolor="#808080" text="#FFFFFF" link="#00FF00"
vlink="#00FFFF" alink="#FF0000"> <Ranma.cha = (tm) Takahashi.Rum.><SpellsR.Us_ ="Bill Hart">

also include the usual "don't bother flaming me, i've prob already set the filter to delete your e-mail" and the notification that certain other frequent bashers might as well go to the next fic 'cause i'm not interested in being insulted or dismissed by certain well known elitist (fill in the blank with pejoritive of choice). (hereafter referenced as Disclaimer #1 and Disclaimer #2)

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Chapter:Two. The Etchi Strikes Back

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Shampoo reappeared, looking startled and a little unfocussed.

Kodachi and Akane appeared, looking *very* subdued. Akane was still naked, while Kodachi's leotard looked like it had seen better days. Nobody commented, their attention being drawn to activity on the board.

The little Amazon figurine skipped merrily along the board, ending up five spaces further along than she had been. (The thirteenth square.) Looking down at the board, she read:

"Now is time to spin the spinner,
Changes permanent save wish of winner.
Special exclusions, limitations, may apply,
All you can do, I s'pose, is try."

The spinner flipped around, finally landing on "20 Minutes In The Closet."

"Choose me, mistress!"

"No, choose me, mistress!"

Everyone else got rather bug-eyed from this outburst from Kodachi and Akane. Shampoo looked rather embarassed.

"Uhm, sugar, what exactly happened in there?" Ukyou paused. "On second thought, I don't really want to know."

"Is not way Shampoo want to play, but was very strange. Like time when young when Shampoo discover Father's stash of 'medicinal tonics' just before getting really sick." Shampoo gave a puzzled glance to the two girls. "Look like Shampoo change back but Violent Girl and Rose Girl not change back. Spinner is moving again. We see who Shampoo spend 20 minutes alone with. Hope is with Airen!"

"ME?!" Nabiki squeaked as the pointer came to a rest.

"HER?!" This time it was just Nabiki and Shampoo vanishing.

"Uhm," began Ranma, trying not to notice Akane's current state of dress. "So they're out of it for twenty minutes, I guess. But Nabiki was the next one to roll, so..."

"I guess she's skipping her turn." Kasumi began to reach for the dice when it flipped by itself and the tiny figurine representing Nabiki took three steps forward.

"Sacred trusts and secrets shared,
Leaving souls and minds oft bared,
Those who suffer from your game,
Latest victim- speak their name."

"I'LL DRAW A DARE CARD!"

Everyone looked around, but couldn't tell where Nabiki's voice had come from.

One of the cards flipped over, and was read by the little figurine. "Seduce The Player On Your Right Or Submit In The Room Of Pleasure & Pain."

"I don't think I can.... No. Do you take bribes? Eeeep?!"

"That was Nabiki?!" Akane grinned as the Amazon moved back to the Punishment Room square with Nabiki's miniature in tow. Akane looked up and exchanged a wink with Kodachi. "It sounds as if the Mistress will at least be entertained."

Kodachi looked envious.

Ranma merely shuddered.

Kasumi looked at the small box on the board marked "Punishment Room" where Nabiki's and Shampoo's miniatures were standing. She glanced up at the ceiling where the occasional moan or shriek still could be heard. "Oh my," she said, managing to put quite a bit of feeling into her usual phrase.

Kasumi rolled the dice and got a four, bringing her to the tenth square. (1)

"Though you try to show it not,
In the game you have been caught,
Dark the secret, whom you hate,
Reveal the name, or face your fate."

"Well," Kasumi said with an odd blink. "I guess I can try a Dare card. They don't seem that bad so far."

"Other than Nabiki and Akane having the Oblivious Nudity curse, other than Akane getting hit with that 'Ride The Edge' thing, no they don't seem that bad." Ukyou rolled her eyes at this.

"What curse?" Akane asked the room, scratching herself idly. She was naked. So what? The thought of wearing clothes just seemed so... unnatural.

"It says to 'roll again,'" said Kasumi after drawing a card. She rolled, getting a three.

"Now it's time to spin the spinner,
Changes permanent save wish of winner.
Special exclusions, limitations, may apply,
All you can do, I suppose, is try."

The spinner finally came to rest on "Bizzare Body Modifications." Kasumi's miniature regarded her and spoke:

"Inner nature to outward form,
Producing results outside the norm.
A ripple that feedbacks into one's self,
What are you? Devil, Angel, Kitten, Elf?
Princess, Queen, Girl Scout, Witch?
Vampire, Widow, Priestess, Bitch?"

"Angel," said Akane, Kodachi, Ukyou, and Ranma simultaneously. Kasumi blushed but repeated "Angel" a moment later. (2)

"Oh my!" Kasumi clenched her jaw and leaned forward as a quite painful sensation occurred amongst the sounds of ripping cloth. After a moment the pain stopped and she gave a ragged breath of relief.

Her blouse and bra in tatters, Kasumi quickly moved to cover herself. This was made rather more effective than intended when her wings swept around to enclose her. A muffled "Oy vey" could be heard within the feathered coccoon. Kasumi was hoping she didn't shed. That would be a problem.

Noting from the brief look she'd gotten that Kasumi's hair had turned blonde, her eyes blue, and that her big sister was winged, Akane wondered if maybe she should try to get to that square. (Hmmmm.)

Shampoo and Nabiki popped back into place. Shampoo looked even more embarassed. Nabiki looked... satisfied? Smug? Satiated?

"Shampoo really not happy with how game turning out. We win soon?" Shampoo looked a little nervous under the smouldering looks she was getting from Nabiki, Kodachi, and Akane.

"Uhm, looks to me like the first branch ain't that far off, it's the fourteenth space." Ranma, despite accusations to the contrary *could* count. It was algebra that gave him trouble, particularly as he could see no practical use for being able to determine the surface area of an irregular polygon. What mattered was how you could fight it. (3)Ranma rolled, getting a four.

Everyone's eyes widened as they recognized the square Ranma's miniature was heading for.

"But nobody to punish this time..." Shampoo looked nervously around. "So Ranma can no go punish. Yes?"

"Better it is to give than receive,
Guilt and anger, ache to relieve,
Dominate, Punish, Pleasure with Pain,
Advance one square for each 'Clouds & Rain'."

"Hey, waitaminute!" Ranma managed before vanishing. His miniature calmly walked into the Punishment Room area and waited.

Akane exchanged a glance with Kodachi, then Nabiki. Shampoo caught the looks and swallowed, looking very nervous.

"Oh, maybe when I win, I ought to wish that Shampoo loved Mousse." Akane called upon her acting experience and projected sincerity. (It's only fair for the Mistress to experience the education of pleasures that she taught us herself.)

"Please not to make Shampoo ill."

"I've always thought the two were just *such* a perfect couple," said Kodachi with a touch of her usual arrogance. "Foreigners are best sticking to themselves after all, and not perverting the pure and superior Japanese blood. Perhaps I should include THAT stipulation in my wish after I win."

Shampoo frowned. "Please not even joke like that. Shampoo rather remain alone whole life."

"Good idea. I'll be sure to include a Shampoo + Mousse clause in my wish." Nabiki smiled.

"YOU STOP!" Shampoo slammed her hand down. Unfortunately, this was on the board.

"Punishment activated," said the demonic voice. "As this was engineered by some, they shall bear the brunt of the punishment."(4)

"WHAT?!" Akane, Nabiki, and Kodachi yelped though they didn't look completely displeased either. Shampoo faded away at the same time as the other three were drawn into the board.

Ukyou and Kasumi watched as the little Akane, Shampoo, Nabiki, and Kodachi walked into the little Punishment Room square.

"Oh my!" Kasumi stopped tying the remains of her blouse into place over her front as she considered what might now be going on. She noted that the Ranma and Shampoo game pieces were standing in one area of the "Room" while the rest stood in the shaded area. "I hope Akane or Nabiki don't catch cold."

"Uhm, so do I move now?" Ukyou asked her figurine, hoping the answer was "no". "Hmmm. I guess you continue to play from within the Closet, but the Punishment Room is another thing."

"Correct," Ukyou's miniature agreed. "As a reward for Ukyou Kuonji figuring this out, all those being punished will have to draw a Dare card when released."

"How is that a reward for me?" Ukyou, with GREAT reluctance, rolled the dice. Only to end up on...

"Now is time to spin the spinner,
Changes permanent save wish of winner.
Special exclusions, limitations, may apply,
All you can do, I s'pose, is try."

"Can the GAME be cheating here?" Ukyou asked nervously. "How can I have rolled a 'seven' on a six-sided dice?"

Her figurine winked back at her. That wasn't very reassuring. "There's your reward!"

"I don't really consider that a reward. Can I have a 'Get Out Of Punishment Room Free' card instead?"

The pointer came around, this time indicating "Second Childhood."

Six year old Ukyou Kuonji blinked as she realized what had just befallen her. "WAAAAAH!"

Kasumi's maternal instincts came to the fore. She welcomed the little girl into her lap and rocked her back and forth until Ukyou stopped crying. Ukyou just clung for a few moments while Kasumi smoothed the little girl's hair and murmurred reassurances.

"Ka-Kasumi? It hard to think. Feel funny."

"Yes, Ukyou-chan. I think you've been changed mentally and emotionally as well as physically. Do you remember anything?"

"Think so. Don't unnerstand lotta stuff no more." Ukyou sniffled. "Where Ranchan? Why everbody leave?"

"They'll be back shortly, I think." Kasumi stretched her wings briefly, trying to get used to their feel. "I need to roll the dice now, I think."

Ukyou sniffled and let Kasumi up. She was so small now, she felt relatively helpless. This could be bad. This could be very bad. The movement of the shimmering golden wings caught her now childlike attention. "Pretty!"

Kasumi blushed slightly. "Thank you, Ukyou-chan." Trying to smile reassuringly at the child, Kasumi rolled the d6.

As soon as the dice left her hand, there were several gusts of displaced air as the various other players reappeared. Ranma's figurine (to everyone's surprise) went to the 14th square with Kasumi's then both figurines looked to their respective players.

"Left or right," the two miniatures intoned in unison.

"Left," mumbled Ranma, trying not to look at anyone.

"Right," murmurred Kasumi as she looked over the various girls and noted their evident discomfort. She blinked. "Kodachi-san, what happened to your clothes?"

"Uhm, I think I left them in the Punishment Room." Kodachi tried to cover herself with her arms.

"What was *left* of them," said Akane meaningfully, a leer briefly showing on her face.

Kasumi's miniature took the right hand path and walked to the 16th space before reading the question there.

"When playing the game,
How far have you gone?
First base, Second base?
Third base, home run?"

Kasumi fidgeted slightly but answered honestly. "First base. It was in High School. I..." Her voice trailed off to nothing.

"You played baseball, Auntie Kasumi?" Chibi-Ukyou grinned at the motherly figure.

"That too," said Kasumi but didn't elaborate.(5)

Ranma's figure stepped forward to the 18th place and gave his player a thumb's up before reading the question.

Kasumi interrupted by exclaiming what she had suddenly realized. "No wonder you're acting like this. The 'Master' returns to normal but the miniature said 'now will find another ache' and 'minds and wills grow strong or weak' - those successfully dominated in the Punishment Room carry the need (or ache) to be dominated afterwards!"

Ranma's figurine glared at the interruption before looking down at his feet and reading the tiny print.

"Tools have their time, you know,
Oft reaping other than you sow,
What sort of tools preference brings,
Rods and toys, chains, candles, rings,
clips, whipped cream or other things?"

Ranma thought this sounded a bit like some of the stuff he'd heard from Hiroshi and Daisuke and their etchi magazines, but he'd really never felt comfortable with those discussions. It was fairly easy to tune them out, most of the time. "Uhm, whipped cream, I s'pose." It was food, after all.

Kasumi began filling the group in on the events they'd missed out on, as well as that they needed to draw Dare cards now.

"One moment," Kodachi, slipping on a set of clothing hidden by Ryouga for an emergency, interrupted. "Let me see if I have the current situation understood as I have not been present for much of the game. I have yet to make a move, and my game piece is still in the 'Start' area. My brother has been turned into a bimbo and removed entirely from the game. Mistress Shampoo is on the 13th square and has moved twice. Ranma-sama has moved thrice and is currently on the 18th spot. The okonomiyaki chef has made it as far as the 13th square, having moved three times and is now a six year old in mind and body."

Everyone nodded as Kodachi paused for verification.

"The mercenary Nabiki Tendo has landed upon the Fifth square after two moves, both she and her delectable sister are under some nudity compulsion."

"What nudity compulsion?" Nabiki asked, noting that everyone except Akane sweatdropped. She couldn't see what they were talking about, it was just that clothes were so... confining. Her flesh almost crawled at the thought of having to wear something.

Kodachi pursed her lips momentarily before continuing again. "Their elder sister, Kasumi Tendo, has moved three times, is on the sixteenth space, and now has wings. Akane Tendo has moved only once, having shared the same time in passionate enjoyment of certain activities as myself, and is currently on the second square having rolled but once."

Everyone agreed that this pretty much summed up their experiences thus far.

Kodachi reached over to pick up one of the cards, raising an eyebrow as she read the back. "Hmmm. It says to 'Set The Spinner Then Make A Choice, It Will Effect Your Player Of Choice'."

With a slight smirk that left everyone else feeling chilled, Kodachi watched the spinner slowly come to rest. This time on "Advance Three Spaces." "Akane Tendo, fellow initiate, I choose you."

Akane's figurine advanced to the fifth space, joining the miniature of Nabiki.

"Sacred trusts and secrets shared,
Leaving souls and minds oft bared,
Those who suffer from your game,
Latest victim- speak their name."

"...but I haven't," said Akane, beginning to sweat. "Er, really, I never. Right, Ranma?"

"Leave me outta this," Ranma tried not to look at anyone. There was way too much flesh showing. AND there was his buddy Ucchan at the same age she had been when abandoned by his bakarou oyaji. Maybe he'd wake up from this nightmare soon.

Shampoo sighed, her turn to draw a card. She didn't want to think about what might happen if she refused. Probably very very not nice. "EEEP!"

"What's it say?!" Everyone noted how Shampoo had dropped the card and covered her eyes. Akane was tempted to take a look at it. It couldn't be that bad, could it?

"It say that Shampoo will fall deeply in love with next person Shampoo sees. Ranma please to speak?" Shampoo continued to keep her hands covering her eyes.

Ranma grimaced but allowed that it wouldn't be as bad as it could be. "Er, yeah."

Shampoo oriented on the voice, uncovered and opened her eyes, and stared at the head which had just popped into her field of vision.

"You okay, Auntie Shampoo?" Chibi-Ukyou asked in a concerned voice.

Shampoo's arms shot around the girl, pulling her into a gentle hug. "Oh, yes, Ukyou-chan, Shampoo feel much better!"

Akane looked alarmed. "HEY! Shampoo! You wouldn't dare! Ukyou's just a little kid right now."

Shampoo angrily shook her head, giving the little girl a tender kiss on the forehead. "Shampoo love Ukyou! Would never never never hurt little girl by doing bad thing!"

Kasumi nodded at this. "Love is not destructive, by itself, Akane-chan. It takes many forms but doesn't make you hurt others. That's jealousy, or... sickness. Lust can be a different matter." (6)

Ukyou giggled as Shampoo tickled the little girl.

"It be okay, Ukyou-chan, anyone want to hurt Ukyou have to go through Shampoo!" The Amazon's glare around the room left little doubt she was serious.

Nabiki frowned and drew *her* card, being as unanxious as anyone to see what further penalties would accrue. Though the Punishment Room had been... educational. "Let's see, my card reads 'Choose two players to send to the Closet.' Hmmm. Our front runners are the obvious choice. Kasumi and Ranma, have fun!"

"What!" Ranma yelped, startled.

"Nabiki!" Kasumi exclaimed and vanished simultaneously.

"Dark in here," said Ranma's voice from apparently nowhere.

"Oh dear. These wings can be a bother." Kasumi's voice also apparently originated from nowhere in particular. "Ranma-kun, could you move your hands please?"

Akane had just picked up her cup. It was crushed in her hand instantly.(7)

"Um..no.. no, not there either." Kasumi sounded slightly flustered.

"That's odd, what's this? It feels like... EEEEP!" Ranma's voice went from puzzled to panicked.

Akane decided to grab her card, it gave her something to focus on besides what was obviously going on in the extra-dimensional room. "Oh no, NOT AGAIN!"

Nabiki smirked at the evidence before their eyes. "Another 'Ride The Brink Until Someone Helps You Over The Edge' card? It figures there'd be more than one of THOSE in the deck."

Akane nodded and shuddered.

Ranma's miniature grabbed a card, and read from it "Advance One Space."

Advancing the single space on the board, Ranma's miniature looked down at the 19th square and read.

"The one you choose will be set free,
Of game and curses, naturally,
But then your sibling will they be,
After game's end, retroactively.
Permanent, so choose carefully."

Ranma didn't reappear but his voice carried his uncertainty. "So, whoever I choose will be free of all the curses and stuff they've gotten playing the game, but then they'll be my sister, huh?"

"Sounds like it," agreed Nabiki. Everyone (except Ukyou, who was merely puzzled) began to get nervous about this latest development.

Ranma nodded, still frowning as he considered the possibilities. "Ok. Then I choose..."

------------------------------------

(1) die is singular for dice, except in common usage among RPGers. As i am, i'm using dice for the single six sider here.

(2) Who *else* in Ranma 1/2 even vaguely qualifies as Angelic? Besides, if Akane got this she'd have a Compulsively Nice To Everyone curse.

(3) Ranma tends to get attacked by weird opponents all the time. One can just see him having nightmares (during class probably) about being attacked by someone using Martial Arts Obscure Math.

(4) Nobody said that Evil had to be dumb either.

(5) No doubt she would have had to if she'd gone further than First Base.

(6) Yes, there is more than one kind of love. Though the game's demonic, its nature is constrained. As Ukyou's a six year old, this is a nonsexual kind of love.

(7) Not that she's jealous. Not that she cares what that baka's doing. No, couldn't be. Besides, Kasumi's earlier confession that she finds physically attractive might have discomfited the youngest Tendo.

TWISTED- the board game. lemon? (sort of, things are rather more descriptive in this chapter. no spurting bodily fluids, though. at least onscreen!) that said, basics by Gregg Sharp, with lots of input from Chris Olsen, Jim Bader's working on some scenes to be included, and feedback from a whole lotta other wonderful people. Opinions expressed are those of the characters and not necessarily those of the writer.

virtual disclaimer: Set Disclaimer = (Ranma.cha = (tm)Rumiko Takahashi; SpellsR.Us_="Bill.Hart") If Ch1 or Ch2= nullset then goto http://db.netimages.com/archive/ffml/
currently this is planned as a four chapter thing, with multiple endings and an Aftermath chapter.

-----------------------------

Chapter:Three. Return of the Jaded?

-----------------------------

"Hmmm. Who do I choose to be my sister? They at least get out of this damn game."

Several panicked looks were exchanged among those still sitting at the table.

"Hmmm. Well, I guess there's only one real choice here," Ranma's voice still carried from the closet where he was cramped with a winged Kasumi. "Even if the rest of us get screwed over by the game, you'll survive this way, and lose that curse."

Akane's eyes widened, knowing that this was Ranma. The same Ranma who would risk anything to save her. His choice would be obvious. "Ranma, you IDIOT!"

"Jackass! I'm already out of the game! The side says 'For Ages 14 & Up' right there!" Ukyou pouted and pointed, even though Ranma obviously couldn't see it from where he was.

"You want Akane!" Shampoo quickly put in.

"NO! Ranma, choose Nabiki or Kasumi!" Akane glared at the Amazon. "I can take care of myself!"

"You still not even notice you not wearing any clothes!"

"So what? What's the big deal about clothing anyway?" Akane shuddered at the thought of actually having cloth on her flesh. How... unnatural.

"This isn't exactly martial arts, Akane," Nabiki was quick to point out. "And it is safe to speculate that the game gets tougher the further you go into it."

"Time is running out, make your choice or it will be made for you," Ranma's game piece spoke from his position on the board.

"I'm sorry, then. I choose you, Kodachi. Kasumi, can you get your wing out of my face?"

"Oh dear!"

"ME?!" Kodachi blinked, violet eyes wide in shock. She began to fade but seemed to change as she did so.

"Did you see..." Akane looked to Nabiki for confirmation. Because of the effects of the "Ride The Edge" card she was having trouble focussing.

"Yup, she had a bokken and a woman's kendo outfit. Looked the same, mainly." Nabiki pondered what she knew of Nodoka Saotome and wondered what kind of daughter she would have raised.
(Ugh, this means if Akane marries Ranma, not only will I have Genma as a father-in-law but I'll have Kodachi as a sister-in-law. Bad to worse.)

Akane reluctantly rolled the dice and watched as her figurine moved to the 10th square. She tried to focus on the game.

"Though you try to show it not,
In the game you have been caught,
Dark the secret, whom you hate,
Speak the name, or face your fate."

"Ranma?" Akane colored slightly. "Love and hate being kinda the same thing, I guess."

Shampoo shuddered. Nabiki and Ukyou merely stared for a few moments.

"Who do I hate?" Akane frowned. "I hate Ukyou and Shampoo for being so damn much better than me. I hate Ranma and his father for disrupting all our lives. I hate my father and sisters for forcing me into some damn arranged marriage. I hate Doctor Tofu for choosing Kasumi over me, THEN going off and leaving her! I hate Kuno for his damn challenges and always being there but only as an annoyance. I hate... Mother for leaving us.

"And I especially HATE the guy in the damn bathrobe who sold me this game!"

"Ukyou, there are some manga upstairs in my room you can read," Nabiki smiled down at the little girl. It looked like things were getting a little intense.

"Yayyyyy!" Ukyou scampered up the stairs, understanding that she was being gotten rid of but the game had gotten AWFULLY boring.

"She left the room," Akane said as this penetrated. A moment later she was running for the stairs herself. Only to come to a complete stop as she entered the house from the veranda. "Huh?!"

"Ukyou's not playing, Akane. The game let her go as a result." Nabiki raised an eyebrow at her flustered younger sister.

"I don't think I can t-t-take this anymore!" Akane stuttered as this "Riding the Edge" thing was causing her considerable distress.

"Hang on, Akane," Nabiki sighed. "Shampoo, go ahead and do your turn, I need to help little sister get through this or she's gonna go not-so-quietly nuts."

Shampoo glanced up the stairway. "We is three down so far. This not good."

"Five if you count our crazy parents," Nabiki corrected from her current position. "Watch where you kick, Akane."

"S-s-s-sorry."

"AGAIN!" More plaster fell from the ceiling.

"Can you keep it down, you jackasses! I'm tryin' to read here!"

Shampoo swallowed nervously and rolled the dice. A five was obtained and Shampoo specified right at the first branch.

"Together may be mates for life,
Whether lovers true or husband/wife,
If a mate you had to choose,
Name the name, or their heart you'll lose."

Shampoo smirked. An easy one. "Ranma!"

"uhmmf! Kasumi, err, hang on. My arm's going to sleep."

"Sorry."

Akane let loose a scream.

"Ukyou-chan! Can you toss some towels down here! Thanks!" Nabiki started wiping her hands off as soon as the child complied. "Okay, my turn, right?"

Nabiki looked at the "land mines" ahead of her before rolling the dice. Getting a six.

"Advance you now to Spinner square,
Before you go, draw a Dare."

Nabiki frowned as she reached for the card. Anticipating something nasty. It was with a certain relief that she read the card. This wouldn't be so bad, would it?

"What Nabiki doing? Hang on, Akane, Shampoo give you a hand."

"Covering my eyes. It was similar to your card. Now if you'll just get me a mirror, I'll open my eyes, see myself and won't be affected by it." Nabiki thought this was the safest course, she might end up a narcissist but that was a risk. Nabiki felt something being handed to her and took it.

"Oh thanks... Ukyou..." Nabiki stared at the child who was handing her a mirror obviously grabbed from Nabiki's room. Such a clever child. She'd never really appreciated Ukyou before. The self confident businesswoman, full of passion for her product. And she was so nice. And Ukyou was dealing with her transformation into a child SO well.

"Something wrong, Auntie Nabiki?"

Nabiki hugged the precious child before her. "No, Ukyou-chan, nothings wrong at all. You shouldn't be down here though. And the spinner's already moving... Uh oh."

Nabiki vanished as "20 minutes in the closet" came up. Ukyou frowned, shrugged, and then went up to get those manga. They might need her to get other stuff.

"Ooof! Damn it's even tighter in here! What's going on out there? Oh, sorry Kasumi. Err, was that your cheek?"

"Not quite, Ranma-kun." Nabiki's voice was a bit strained. "Kasumi, your wings tickle."

"You remember what happen to Shampoo? It happen to Nabiki. Hurry up, Akane, Shampoo want to see what happen with Kasumi turn!"

The dice rolled itself. Kasumi's game piece stepped three squares forward from the 16th square.

"You may choose the path to go,
Cross to left or forward ho."

"Forward," came Kasumi's uncertain voice.

The tiny Japanese housewife looked at the writing at her feet and exclaimed "Oh my!"

"Libido is a funny thing,
Complications it may bring,
Until satisfied you are,
Your setting is three steps too far."

"Oh dear."

"Uh oh."

"Uhm, is 'libido' what I think it is?"

"C-c-c-can I draw a 'Dare' card?"

"It not look like it."

"Gee, er, your hands are really soft, Kasumi."

"S-s-s-sorry Ranma, I-I-I... Oh dear."

"Is Ranma's turn now," Shampoo said, still working at trying to overcome Akane's difficulty. "Shampoo very busy. Akane being difficult."

"Ss-s-s-s-sorry. Uuuuuuuu!" Akane's back arched as she got a little closer. "AAAAAAAAAHHHHH! Unh! Oooooooh!"

"Akane fall asleep? Now no time for nap!" Shampoo started wiping her hands off, at least that was one problem taken care of.

Ukyou didn't even look up from her little stack of manga. "Auntie Nabiki, I don't understand some of this kanji here. Who's Kentaro?" She held up a several-year old love letter that had been tucked into one of the comics.

"AHHH! Kasumi, that's me! Ukyou, I'm a little busy here. Uhm, guys, can you shift a little, I'm kinda getting crushed."

"It'd help if we had some light in here, Nabiki, as it is we can barely move. Uhm, Kasumi, that's attached."

Akane raised her head blinking. "Baka. Is it my turn yet?"

Shampoo glanced at the game. "It Ranma's turn. In more than one way, Shampoo thinking."

"Ka-ka-ka-kasumi?!"

"She can't talk with her mouth full, Ranma. Guys, there isn't room for this sort of thing."

Akane realized she was holding her mallet and set the blunt object of opportunity down. Not much she could do at present anyway.

Ukyou looked at the side of the gameboard again. "Well, this explains a lot. 'Twisted the Board Game, Ages 14 & Up, (c) Shikima Brothers Game Co.' Didja notice that my miniature and Tatewaki's are in an 'Out Of Play' area while Kodachi's is in the tray it came from?"

Akane made a vague agreement noise but her attention was clearly on the noises emanating from the "Closet" and the occasional noise still coming from upstairs.

The dice rolled across the board. Ranma's figurine stepped forward into the 23rd square.

"While at night in sleepless bed,
Someone's image in your head,
With that one there at your side,
Kiss them now, no time for shy."

"B-b-b-but I?! I'll draw a card." Ranma's voice kept changing pitch, grunts and squeaks tending to erupt at odd times. "The... girlll in my <erk> dreams <ahk> can't <eep> see her faccccce..."

"Baka hentai," judged Akane.

Ranma's miniature read the Dare card and chuckled.

"This not bode well," observed Shampoo.

Ranma's game piece read the card aloud this time. "Face that aspect of yourself you most dislike."

Ranma-chan appeared, giggling, wearing a single yellow ribbon that somehow barely managed to conceal everything. Then she removed it, and began looking over the various girls while licking her lips. She looked hungry.

"Uh oh," said Shampoo and Akane in unison.

"What's going on out there?!"

"Ranma, your female side is out here and she looks like she wants, er, to play."

"You not want Shampoo!"

Akane shook her head furiously. "Gee, Shampoo you could have your own Ranma! Or at least a Ranko..."

Ranma-chan finally made her choice and sat down next to Akane, rubbing against and fondeling her chosen victim.

Shampoo sighed in relief then asked Ukyou if she would mind getting her a glass of water.

Chibi-Ukyou stared, puzzled at what the two girls were doing, then nodded so that she could go get Auntie Shampoo's water. She was a good little girl after all. Besides, that wasn't really Ranchan.

"No, please don't, I..." Akane shuddered as Ranma-chan's strong hands almost seemed to be sculpting her. Smoothing out her flesh, pressing firmer here, gently fingering details there. "I swear this game wants to kill me through embarassment!"

"Is also your turn, Akane," Shampoo said. She was a little surprised at herself, she would have thought that seeing her unworthy rival enduring such humiliation and problems would have been something she could enjoy. Instead she was turning away and trying not to look.

"AHH! Kasumi! I..."

"Ooof! Saotome, your elbow. Kasumi, you're kneeling on my foot."

"Mmmmf!"

Akane shuddered as Ranma-chan began leaving a trail of kisses along her back and neck. "I gotta roll the dice, you know!" Ranma-chan grinned and left to go to the kitchen.

Akane rolled the dice and her figurine went forward to the 13th square. To absolutely no one's surprise.

"Game like that square," Shampoo commented.

"Gee, you think?!" Akane's eyes widened as Ranma-chan exited the kitchen with two cannisters of whipped cream, a box of ice cream, a squeeze bottle of chocolate syrup, and a small bowl of strawberries. "Uh oh."

"Scarlet Sundae, teehee." Ranma-chan's voice was pure bimbo.

Chibi-Ukyou re-entered the room, looking momentarily like a stack of manga with legs. Seeing the ice cream and fixings, she wondered if Ranma-chan was planning on eating all that.

The spinner continued around and pointed to "Role Playing."

Akane's game piece looked at the uncomfortable girl who was about to have an Edible Encounter unless she thought quickly.

"Quickly now a persona to be,
Speak the name or the first you see,
Talents and tricks, function and form,
Forever after changed to new norm,
New effects may modify,
Special exclusions and limits apply!"

"Wait," Akane managed, speaking both to the game and to the Ranma-chan about to do something unspeakable to her. "Can you run that by again without the rhymes? I have to name some fictional character or person, and then I'll be changed INTO that person?"

Chibi-Ukyou looked up at this and started frantically searching through her manga.

Akane's game piece spoke again. "Choose or else the first you see, that is what you shall then be."

Akane considered the possibilities, well aware that the game's patience was not infinite. If she didn't choose then the girl currently applying whipped cream to her would likely be the first one seen. THAT would be bad. She'd always been envious of Shampoo for a number of things. Somehow being an Amazon didn't sound so bad considering the likely alternatives. Akane fought down an urge to shout "I choose you, Pikachu!" THAT would also likely have been bad, but it would have at least gotten her out of the game.

"Maybe THIS one? Or this one?" Chibi-Ukyou thrust a pair of opened manga in front of Akane's face, taking the dreaded whipped cream attack herself as she shielded Akane.

Shampoo frowned. Ranma-chan tried ANYTHING to a sweet little girl like Ukyou-chan, she would find a way to get her revenge!

Akane's eyes widened as she saw the characters that Ukyou had chosen. This... could... WORK!

sound of thunder from offstage.

=========================

yes, this is another cliffhanger. Currently have four chapters planned + a multiple ending chapter (5 total)

<plays odd organ music>
What will happen to our intrepid players?
scene of cast looking nervous

Who will Akane choose to emulate?
"AIREN! Airen happy to see Akane? No go to school, take Akane to date!"
Akane with long hair again is shown chasing Ranma around the room. subtitle- maybe?

What exactly is happening in the Closet?
blank screen except for large question mark

Will Ukyou have a happy childhood this time around or will someone find a way to screw it up?
scene of chibi Ukyou being showered with affection by Shampoo, Nabiki, Nodoka, and Kasumi. Ukyou grins at audience and winks.

These and many other questions answered, in Chapter 4 Of Twisted.

gregg

-----------------------------

Chapter:Four "The Fandom Menace"

-----------------------------

The moment was broken by all the remaining game pieces speaking in an eerie unison.
"Final Stage we now declare,
Changes are not always fair,
The stakes are raised, so beware,
Dark the consequence if you Dare."

"That didn't sound good," came Nabiki's voice from the game's extradimensional Closet.

Akane closed her eyes, thinking, and decided to go with Ukyou's concept but to get even more imaginative. Just like at one of those cosplay things Kasumi went off with her friends for, you combined concepts for something uniquely yours. "OK, for 'role-playing' - 'Cutey Amazon Senshi Bishojo Sailor Mercury!'"

The demonic rustling voice spoke again. "For a species with the relative intelligence level of a flatworm, you do get imaginative at times. Even at my age, I'm curious now. Let's see how you handle your Taste Of Power, then, child."

Akane's eyes widened as suddenly the world around her seemed to click into a higher focus. Why, all she needed to do was to get Ranma or Tatewaki back and the girl attempting to drizzle chocolate syrup on some sensitive areas would go off after more rewarding prey. This was because the game had physically created a double of Ranma that incorporated what Ranma most disliked (or more properly, hated and feared) about his girl side. Always the fear that he'd start liking guys, behave in an "unmanly" fashion or something. Possibly the game's own "naughtiness" was responsible for the rest.

Akane computed a 93% likelihood that Ranma-chan was out here simply because there was no more room within the extradimensional "Closet" that the game maintained. Further that because Ranma was to "face" this side of himself, that in 1.135 minutes when Ranma and Kasumi's time was up they would reappear and Ranma-chan would pounce on Ranma-kun. Given available data, of course.

What Akane *said* however was "Mmmmrph!" when Ranma-chan put a strawberry in her own mouth, then moved in for a kiss. A moment later, and feeling slightly ill, Akane wondered how much longer she'd have to put up with this.

Ranma and Kasumi reappeared as their time ran out. Ranma's eyes bugged at seeing what his female half was doing (as well as his giving serious consideration to fainting with a nosebleed.) Kasumi merely said "oh my" and made a note that she'd need to replace the various foodstuffs being slathered on her youngest sister.

Ranma-chan glanced up, saw Ranma-kun, and abandoned her target much as Akane had figured.

Akane waited for Ranma-chan to finish moving over when she raised her henshin pen over her head and called out her transformation phrase. Time to find out if it had worked. "Mercury Make Up Flash!"

Water shot up around Akane in a column, beginning a typical Magical Girl Transformation sequence. As she spun within the column, Akane's seifuku, makeup, and jewelry appeared on her. This also had the effect of at least temporarily nullifying the nudity curse, which she noted for future reference.

Spinning to a stop, the transformed Akane posed. "Ai No Senshi, Cutey Mercury!"

"Can Shampoo get one of those?" Shampoo looked over the sailor suited Warrior Of Love & Justice. Ukyou merely nodded in agreement.

"Uhm, Akane?" Ranma kept trying to fend off the Ranma-chan currently rubbing her hands up and down his chest.

"Not now, Airen, Akane very busy with Mercury Computer. Now must try analyze quantum fields and effect on probability structure. Maybe later Ranma take Akane to date!" Akane smiled as she noted the way she'd filled out her top. There *had* been some enhancements due to the Amazon addition. At least a full cup size. She wondered if that had also enhanced her strength. She'd have to check later, though she calculated a high likelihood (83.78%) that these effects would only last through the game anyway.

"What's going on?!" Nabiki was getting frustrated from within the Closet.

"Akane turn into Amazon Magical Girl, Ukyou-chan reading manga, Ranma-girl-type is trying to seduce Ranma-boy-type, Kasumi try to cover up again, and Shampoo's turn to roll." Shampoo finished and promptly rolled her dice.

Shampoo continued forward rather than take the branch, and her miniature looked down at the 21st square.
"Many futures dark and dreary,
Some few happy, sometimes eerie,
Here's a view, short or long,
that asks the question: 'what can go wrong?'"

-----------------------------

Mousse grinned. The poison gas grenades had slowed Saotome down, and the first spear thrust had slowed his Enemy down even further.

Three more were thrust deeply into the pigtailed martial artist before he stopped moving.

"I did it, Shampoo," Mousse moved from his vanquished enemy, removing the gas mask as he passed into the next room. "I knew he'd follow me to China after I captured you. The past five years have been hell, but at last your marriage to that FIEND has been annulled. NOW we can be together, Shampoo, all the deals and preparations I've made have been worth it."

Mousse looked over the silent Shampoo and lit the scented candles in the room. "You needn't be shy, Shampoo. When I heard you were carrying Saotome's child, I admit it, I went a little crazy. But I'm all better now. It will be as it was always fated to be, you and me! Didn't I always tell you that you loved me? Didn't I always say how we were fated to be together?"

Shampoo remained silent and didn't even glance in his direction.

"It's all right, my love, you and I will be together forever." Mousse picked up the unresisting hand and smiled. "I'll make you happy, and everything will be right between us, you'll see."

Mousse gently shooed the flies away from where they'd been gathering. "What's that, Shampoo? Oh, don't worry. I'll clean up the mess. Everything will be perfect now. You'll see."

--------------------------

Shampoo shrieked as the vision ended. Kasumi frowned. Ukyou watched Auntie Akane clench her teeth against the shuddering nausea and wondered exactly what everyone else had seen.

The dice rolled by itself while everyone continued to recover from the vision.

"Shampoo may have trouble killing, but would have to make exception for Mousse." Shuddering again, Shampoo made a face. "Shampoo grab bath after game finish. Is okay?"

"You aren't the only one," grumbled Ranma from his current distress.

Nabiki's miniature spoke as it looked down from the 17th square.
"There is one who in your mind,
you cannot any liking find,
you would rather you should die,
than enjoy pleasure with or by,
name this one, you most despise,
or know the Penalty for lies."

"That would be Genma Saotome, actually," said Nabiki from her current confinement. "That he's greedy isn't so bad, but even Kuno-baby can make a better deal than him. In fact, being related to him was one of my biggest objections to this 'Tendo-Saotome alliance' thing."

Kasumi was already moving, her wings furled behind her as she rolled the dice.

The little figurine of an angel, that had at one time been a housewife, stepped forward and read from her new location on the 22nd square.
"You have been wicked in your life,
Bullying others, twist the knife,
manipulate & shifting blame,
Latest victim, name the name."

Kasumi considered this one carefully before answering "none."

Nabiki reappeared at the end of her twenty minutes. "Goodness Ranma, what *happened* to you?"

Ranma spat whipped cream out of his mouth and tried to wipe chocolate syrup off his face, not bothering to answer as his somewhat ditzy and seperated cursed self merely giggled her own reply.

"Akane bring to everyone's attention that spinner wheel has changed. Also backs of Dare cards have different design. Change occur when game go into 'Final Stage'. Please to notice that categories on spinner are now 'Sudden Death', 'Bizarre Change', 'Advance to Finish' (is tiny area compared to others, yes?), 'Screaming Libido Attack'..."

Everyone took a moment to shudder at THAT.

Akane continued after pushing the nasty (if intriguing) pictures out of her head. "...'Love Thy Neighbor', 'Darkside', 'Exchange Changes', 'Shikima Party', 'Womb With A View'. Very bad. Very terrible. Also please note that 'Punishment Room' change to 'Personality Modification Chamber' and 'Closet' change to 'Seraglio'. Is very ominous, yes?"

There was no disagreement. Though it was hard to tell with Ranma-kun, the way Ranma-chan was plastered over his body, wiggling suggestively through layers of whipped cream as she "fed."

====================

hey, everyone *expected* me to be nasty to Akane and nice to darn near everyone else.
i *have* been trying to be kinder to "Hammer Girl" as the result of those Akane fans (mainly VG-Addict and SKJAM) who've actually been polite and neither snide nor vicious in their e-mails. Even though i strongly disagree with interpretation of the manga. (On the other hand, i'd love to see SKJAM (among others) write a (someone besides Akane) + Ranma fic that doesn't require Ranma chained, drugged, tortured, or living in misery.)
As for the Shampoo's Dark Future, before any Knights start throwing this as an example, no, i don't see that as inevitable. A possibility, yes, but not necessarily a certainty.

and, yes, normally i use anime continuity.
a) i find the characters are more likable (with one exception)
b) the characters are drawn better
c) the anime is generally more amusing, where the manga strikes me as being more Lovecraftian attempt at humor. (Not that there isn't some of this in the anime as well. Which is one reason i tend to focus on Alternates, there are many aspects of the series i find Disturbing. ex: the devolution of everyone's personalities except Akane's in the last few volumes, putting a phobic person's trigger on them to see how many that person can handle, the "concerned" one smirking about it later...)

oh well, chapter 5 is due next- dealing with multiple endings and ways this could be resolved.
TWISTED- the board game. lemon? (sort of, things are rather more descriptive in this chapter. no spurting bodily fluids, though. at least onscreen!) that said, basics by Gregg Sharp, with lots of input from Chris Olsen, Jim Bader's working on some scenes to be included, and feedback from a whole lotta other wonderful people. Opinions expressed are those of the characters and not necessarily those of the writer. In a few cases definitely NOT those of the writer. This is also a twisted DEMONIC board game, so there are DARK endings. And some lighter ones.

virtual disclaimer: Set Disclaimer = (Ranma.cha = (tm)Rumiko Takahashi; SpellsR.Us_="Bill.Hart") If Ch1 or Ch2= nullset then goto RAAC Archive

------------------------------------

Twisted: the board game: Chapter 5, Aftermath & Resolutions.

------------------------------------

AKANE'S ENDING:
Cutey Mercury spun the spinner, calculating exactly how much force to use and monitoring the various vectors through her visor.

Gradually the pointer came to the "Advance to End" field and the Senshi let out a breath she hadn't been aware she had been holding.

The tiny Akane figurine stepped into the Finish square and looked up at her.

"The game is ending, play is done,
Akane Tendo, you have won,
Choose your wording now with care,
The wish to grant, speak and beware."

Akane thought immediately of just saying that she wished she'd never bought the game, or visited some store named "Spells R Us" but the reminder that this was a cursed game was prudent. Likely wishing that she never bought the game or visited the store would have her die prior to that event.

Too, there had been insights aplenty here that she'd just as soon not forget. As well her enhanced figure and intellect, Senshi powers and the like that she would prefer not to get rid of.

Taking a deep breath, and hoping she was right about doing anything greedy or benefitting one's own interest being a sure road to disaster, Akane spoke. "Akane wish that changes game make on everyone EXCEPT Akane be removed, and all curses including prior to game cured."

----------------------

Nodoka Saotome was sad but firm. "No, Ranma. I realize that you and Akane love each other dearly. She's an android, and even an android from the Silver Millenium cannot have children. You can keep her as a mistress but you must have a wife who can bear children!"

Shampoo listened for a moment before raising her hand. "I marry Ranma, then accept Cutey Mercury as Amazon co-wife, is OK? Least Shampoo can do for Amazon sister who save Shampoo's life from youma! Shampoo happy to have enough children for both Akane AND Shampoo."

Soun began to object when a large hammer made out of ice mysteriously formed above his head and knocked him out.

Akane frowned but figured this was likely the best deal she could get at the moment. Maybe later she could find a better way. No way she'd play second-fiddle here. "All right. Deal."

======================

GENMA'S ENDING:
The woman formerly known as Genma Saotome smiled as the game piece entered the finish area. It appeared as if she had re-entered the game just in time.

There was a certain joy in knowing she was pregnant. Finally the two schools were united, and who would have thought it would be Genma and Soun themselves who did the deed. Or at least they would be as soon as the ceremony could be performed.

Soun hadn't stopped crying about it.

It was such a joy to know that you were carrying a life within you. (Wait. That's it! And certainly it would remove any doubt about Ranma being a "man among men"!) Genma grinned at the thought.

Genma's eyes swept the room. There was Ranma's cursed self, still trying to seduce Ranma-kun. Shampoo holding Chibi-Ukyo in her lap, Akane (looking a little odd in her fuku and little heart choker), Kasumi (wings properly folded behind her), Nabiki (obliviously naked).

"I wish that Ukyo were sixteen years old again, and that my son Ranma would prove that he's a man among men by..."

As Genma continued to speak, she completely missed the looks of horror.

-------------------------

Ranma was frazzled and then some.

"Ranma! Get me another drink, will you?" Nabiki held out her cup. "You *are* responsible for me being this way, you know."

"You remind me every five minutes, Nabiki," growled Ranma under his breath.

"That's not fair, Nabiki, it was Mister Saotome who made the wish that all the girls present would get pregnant by Ranma-kun." Kasumi waddled into the room, making her daily reminder about who to hold responsible about the current state of affairs.

"It's just a good thing Ranma was a boy at the time," Akane quipped, knowing it would get a response from Ranma-chan.

"I'M the real Ranma, damn it!" Ranma-chan insisted, though looking through another Vogue magazine and "oohing" over the Spring Fashion Extravaganza!

"Yeah right," grumbled Ranma-kun.

"Shampoo need belly rub, airen."

"Good idea. Ranchan, when you get done with her, I could use one myself."

"My drink, Saotome."

Ranma grumbled. His father just *lived* to make his life miserable, didn't she?

======================

KASUMI'S ENDING:
Kasumi folded her wings carefully behind her and considered the possibilities as the little Housewife miniature crossed the Finish line.

"The game is ending, play is done,
Kasumi Tendo, you have won,
Choose your wording now with care,
The wish to grant, speak and beware."

Kasumi didn't want the "wa" of the household to be too uncentered. That would be bad. What to change, that was the question.

Kasumi looked over the crowd surrounding the table. Ranma, eyes slightly glazed from exhaustion and shock. Akane, looking so cute in her little sailorsuit with the Amazon emblems. Chibi Ukyou reading another one of Nabiki's mangas in between Nabiki and Shampoo, who were both smiling down at the little tyke.

Nabiki's lack of clothing, *that* could be a problem. It just wouldn't be proper. And these wings were quite pretty, but Kasumi admitted that she'd have to modify her wardrobe.

"I wish..." Kasumi began, uncertainly. "I... wish that Nabiki would wear more clothing, and wouldn't be quite so mercantile, and that Ranma wasn't so immature, and that everyone got along a little better..."

-----------------------

Kasumi closed the door behind her, listening to the sounds of the argument behind her. As usual, it was about Akane wanting to go off and fight crime and youma by herself. Ranma and Shampoo BOTH wanted to accompany her, while Nabiki wanted to follow and sketch everything out for her manga.

"Auntie Kasumi," said little Ukyou, looking up from her play. "You go somewheres?"

"We're out of soy sauce," said Kasumi with a little smile. Such an adorable little tyke. And with that Kasumi spread her wings and soared into the morning sky.

At least they didn't need to repair the house as much as they had.

===================

KODACHI'S ENDING

Kodachi smirked as her gamepiece entered the finish line. Her Ranma-sama had hesitated but then had chosen that common Tendo tramp to be his sister. Now Akane Saotome was out there somewhere, removed from any hope of ever stealing her Ranma-sama from her.

Kodachi Kuno, the Black Rose of Saint Hebereke High School, was quite prepared to enjoy her victory. The look of panic on everyone's face was too delicious for words. (Well, everyone except that winged girl over there. And the child didn't look terribly concerned.) They could not stop her!

Kodachi's eyes flicked back to the child. Of course, rather than wish that her love be returned in kind, she could remove the other harridans from consideration. She'd have to word it so that the pig-tailed temptress was also caught in the effect, but for a Kuno it would be a simple matter.

Turn them all into children? Animals might be fun. Men? Roses? So many delightful opportunities stretched before her but she needed to choose quickly before the chance was lost to her.

"My wish is that the obstacles to the love between myself and Ranma Saotome be transformed at once into children!"

There was a feeling of darkness descending upon the group, and then it passed.

In it's wake...

Chibi-Ukyou looked up, now she had plenty of playmates. There was a six year old Amazon, and a six year old Ranchan (!), and a six year old winged girl, and a six year old girl in a dress with a sunflower print, and a six year old girl in an oversized leotard who was crying in torrents.

Ukyou smiled. "Ranchan, Nabchan, Kaschan, Shamchan, LET'S PLAY!"

Six year old Kodachi watched the other kids go off into the backyard. It wasn't fair! She wasn't the problem! She shouldn't have been affected! Ranma-sama wasn't an obstacle to their union! Why? Why...

Why was she still here? That looked like fun.

"Wait, I wanna play too, you guys!"

And everyone was more less living happily ever after, just not in the manner that any of those affected had thought they would.

===================

NABIKI'S ENDING

Nabiki laughed as her game piece crossed the Finish line. She'd thought about this for quite some time, and was ready for it.

"I wish I were the wealthiest woman in Japan! No! The wealthiest woman in the WORLD! NO! The Wealthiest Person In The World!"

The evil voice chuckled, causing Nabiki to reconsider the cleverness of her wording.

-------------------

The rubble shifted as Nabiki cautiously made her way to the market. The silence, the awful silence, was a weight upon her.

There was also still the smell, all the dead bodies everywhere from the Plague. She, as far as she knew, was IT. The last living human being.

Some wish. Make her the richest person in the world. Well, it had been granted. WHICH world hadn't been specified. So she'd been relocated to a world where everyone had died three months previously from a genetically engineered plague. The plague had then apparently burned itself out.

She hadn't been able to handle burning the bodies of her family at first. She'd left the Tendo dojo behind and found a mansion that had been in fair shape.

"Yeah, richest woman in the world. ONLY woman in the world." Nabiki chuckled without mirth at the way the wish had been granted.

The wild dogs weren't that common anymore. The rats were a problem. The overwhelming soul-crushing loneliness WAS a problem.

Nabiki had everything she had thought that she wanted. She was in hell.

==================

RANMA'S ENDING:

Ranma gave a sigh of relief as his figurine crossed the finish line. The figurine looked back at him, indicating that he had to make the wish now and that he had to be careful of the wording.

With a certain degree of panic, Ranma realized he had absolutely no idea what to say.

"Uhm, well, er, I guess that I wish that Akane had found some other way to solve these problems and she hadn't gotten this game. Maybe gone to some other store than 'Spells R Us' at least."

----------------------

"Y-y-y-you KILLED them?!" Ranma backed away from the cutely smiling girl in front of him.

"Kasumi didn't approve of the marriage. It was in little ways but if you knew her you could tell. Nabiki was always finding a way to interfere. The Kunos, Ukyou, the damn Amazons, they all would have interfered. Now we can be together, Ranma. It will be fine."

"But you KILLED them?"

"Ranma, you obsess about the littlest things." Akane continued to smile at him. "I went down to that 'Needful Things' store and got a wonderful little martial arts technique on a scroll. And the owner only took something immaterial from me, something I wouldn't miss once it was gone."

Ranma shrank back from the monster in front of him. "Your conscience? Your soul? Your sanity?"

Akane nodded again and chambered, drawing back her fist to unleash the Hellclaw Technique. "He never did say what the price was, but that doesn't matter. We'll be together now. It'll be wonderful. You'll see.

"And this will even cure your curse. Isn't that nice?"

==================

SHAMPOO'S ENDING:

As the Amazon miniature entered the Finish area, Shampoo smiled. She KNEW what she wanted, and to make sure the game understood, she was going to say it in her native language instead of this clumsy Japanese.

"<I wish that Ranma will marry me today - willingly, Mousse will happily marry Akane (they make such a cute couple), and that me and Ranma can adopt Ukyou (she's such a cute little girl).>"

-------------------------------

Akane was miserable. Mousse had apparently tried to get Shampoo with a love potion, gotten it himself, and had fixated on HER now. Being wrapped up like a sushi roll in various chains was really beginning to vex her. Especially as it seemed to occur almost hourly. This was NO way to be treating Cutey Senshi Sailor Mercury!

And there was Ranma's problem. Shampoo had married him and now the Amazon was discovering that being Ranma's wife had some definite downsides.

Well, what did you expect with such a sterling example of manhood as Genma acting as his only role model? Ranma's idea of married life was no sex, no honeymoon, sleeping seperately, being insulting and rude, and going off for long training trips WITHOUT the wife.

Akane figured that if Genma was being held as an example, then eventually the two would have a child but Ranma would probably pull the same sort of nonsense and become just as fat and balding as his father. AND eventually Ranma would drag the little boy or girl off for a lifetime of misery. Child abuse tended to be inherited, after all.

Of course, there was a CHANCE that Ranma could break the various cycles. Shampoo wasn't inclined to sitting back and doing nothing. She wasn't cold in her affections at all. She was quite UNLIKE Ranma's mother. There was a chance, therefore, but Akane thought it so thin as to be almost nonexistent.

Thank goodness she'd come to her senses rather than marry the baka.

==================

SOUN'S ENDING:

Trying desperately not to think about what he'd been doing, much less who he'd been doing it with, Soun Tendo watched his miniature walking into the Finish area with even less calm than normal.

How could he have been so unfaithful to his wife?!

Soun stopped and considered this. His wife?

"I wish my wife were returned to me!"

The sense of something dark approached. Soun screamed as he saw what had been deposited in the living room.

==================

TATEWAKI'S ENDING: by SKJAM

The Blue Thunder smirked as his figurine crossed the finish line. Despite an unfortunate beginning,
thankfully his mental functions had been somewhat impaired so the game's punishment was the teensiest
bit vague in his memory, he had returned in time for some lightning moves to move him to victory.
The golden swordsman recited the winner's poem, and Kunou started to think. "Which one? Both are so delightful, Akane, the demure tigress, and the pig-tailed girl, as firey as her hair..." He went on in this vein for several minutes.
The figurine was tapping its foot impatiently. "Make your wish!"
"I wish--I wish--aah! I cannot stand it! Akane Tendou and the pigtailed goddess, I must have them both!"
"Granted," said the game's voice with a definite chuckle.
Akane Kunou immediately made her opinion known to her new husband. "Baka baka baka BAKA!!" *wham crunch spindle fold mutilate* (Don't worry folks, slapstick violence rules are in effect.) She then turned to her co-wife. "Somehow this has to be your fault, R--you're not Ranma!"
"Indeed, I am not." The woman was taller than Akane, and very beautiful in an ethereal sort of way.
She was wearing a deep blue kimono with white wave patterns that seemed to move as she breathed. She had sea-green eyes, and shimmering black hair--tied back in a pigtail.
"Who are you?" everyone chorused.
"I am Nami, goddess of waves. And this is the last time I take Toltiir's advice on hairstyles."
Kunou sat up, little the worse for wear. (Told you slapstick rules were in effect.) "My goddess!"
Nami glared at him and waved her hand. Kunou turned an interesting shade of green and ran for the
toilet. "Prepare to be seasick for the remainder of your life, annoying mortal."

alternate A:
"I wish--I wish--aah! I cannot stand it! Akane Tendou and the pigtailed goddess, I must have them both!"
"Granted," said the game's voice with a definite chuckle.
Akane Kunou immediately made her opinion known to her new husband. "Baka baka baka BAKA!!" *wham crunch spindle fold mutilate* (Don't worry folks, slapstick violence rules are in effect.) She then turned to her co-wife. "Somehow this has to be your fault, Ranma!?"
Ranma-chan grinned and looked over her co-wife and husband with a gleam of speculation.
Ranma-kun just looked disgusted and went with everyone else to wash various substances off his body. He'd clobber Kuno later on general principles.
At least he'd gotten rid of his curse, and Cutey Senshi Mercury had her Kendo Mask.
Ranma couldn't get rid of the feeling that SOMETHING was wrong, but wasn't entirely sure what.

==================

UKYO'S ENDING:

Ukyo had the grace to look embarrassed as her eyes passed over Chibi-Akane Tendo. Poor Akane, having drawn a Dare and then it had turned out to be "Transformation/Curse Exchange." Which meant, of course, that Ukyo (Cutey Senshi Sailor Mars) was now entering the Finish square instead of the six year old girl currently using a toy hammer on "Ranma-baka."

Ukyo could hardly wait to leave the room so she could try out her "Burning Spatula" attack. Not to mention finally getting a chance to use the bathroom.

"I wish that Ranchan and I were happily married, and we could adopt Akane (she's such a cute kid) thereby uniting the schools and getting him out of THAT honor obligation, and that the bad stuff that occurred during the game be cancelled out." Ukyo thought that this would cover most of the problems. She hoped.

---------------------

Ukyo shuddered as Shampoo and Nabiki cornered her again. "Come on, can't we keep it platonic? Guys?" She couldn't transform with them this close and they knew it.

"Shampoo make too too delicious ramen for Ukyo!"

"Come on, Ukyo, you KNOW we only want what's best for you." Nabiki smirked, she'd use blackmail if this didn't work.

"Help?!"

=========================

notes:
hi folks, this was an attempt to do something different. This is the first time i've explored a purely lemon plotline ("Addicted To Love" was more about the character interaction and longterm ramifications than about sex, at least in my original concept) and attempt to do a lemon but without the detailed sexual descriptions common to lemons.