Spot the Lesbian:

(A Hentai Overview)

by Jim Robert Bader




"Akane?" Ranma said with great reluctance, "There's...something I've been 
meaning to tell you..."

"Oh?" Akane asked with feigned disinterest, "What about, Ranma?"

"Well..." Ranma said with a slight pause before resuming, "It's this iinazuke 
thing...we've been together for a while, and I think it's time I finally told 
you something...that I think you should know."

"And?" Akane held her breath, wondering if Ranma was finally going to say the 
words she had been yearning to hear for so long.

"Ah..." Ranma winced, putting a hand behind his head as he seemed to gather his 
courage, "This is so hard to say...I mean...it's not something a guy just up and 
says out of the blue, you know?"

Anyone but you, Akane thought to herself, but aloud she just gave him the cutest 
smile that she knew how to offer and said, "You can tell me, Ranma.  You know 
I'll always listen."

Ranma seemed to hesitate some more as he considered that statement, then he 
heaved a sigh and said, "Well...it's something you have a right to know, and 
I've been keeping it to myself for so long..."

I love you, thought Akane silently as she waited with breathless anticipation.

"I'm Gay."

Akane had to wait several moments before her brain could process that statement, 
and then the replied, "You're what?"

"I'm Gay," Ranma informed her, "Truth is I have been for years, I've just been 
afraid to tell anybody, especially the old man because...well, you know how Dads 
get..."

"You're what?" Akane repeated with just a tad bit more emphasis.

"Thing is," Ranma said, "My curse has made it even harder for me to tell people.  
I mean, when I'm a girl I react to guys and everything, but...I really haven't 
felt right about that.  I mean, I'm a guy, right?  I should be having guy 
thoughts, not thoughts about guys..."

"You're What??" Akane emphasized the question with more force.

"But recently, well...I had to take a long, hard look at myself, and the way 
I've lead you and the other girls on, and I feel really bad about it all," Ranma 
heaved a huge sigh, "I never meant to hurt anybody... you've got to believe me, 
but I've made a decision and I'm telling you first because you're the one who's 
the most entitled to know..."

"YOU'RE WHAT???" Akane this time shouted.

"I'm...running off with Ryoga.  We're gonna get married..."

"RANMA NO BAKA!!!!!!" Akane screamed, manifesting a super-sized mallet that she 
swung at her former iinazuke, only to see him shatter like glass, as did the 
universe all around them.

Akane hit the floor of her room and felt momentarily stunned until she realized 
that she was in her pajamas.  She looked around at her bedroom, which was dimly 
illuminated by her night-light, then came to the slow realization that she had 
been having a particularly intense dream.  There was no Ranma around making 
idiotic pronouncements, no threat to their engagement or her sanity, just a very 
concerned looking P-chan staring down at her from her bed.  Akane always 
wondered how he managed the trick of looking so worried at these odd moments, 
almost as if he had human regard for her welfare...

She had to smile at that.  Nabiki was right, as usual, she was 
anthropomorphizing about the Pig, treating him as though he were a person and 
not just a really cute animal that she was very fond of...

Akane suddenly became aware that there were sounds in the room...no, not in her 
room...coming from one of the walls, the wall adjoining her room to that of 
Nabiki's.  Akane listened hard and heard some very odd noises, like somebody was 
grunting and sweating hard, as though from some peculiarly intense form of 
labor.  There were also muffled screams and sounds of delight emanating from 
next door, and then she heard Nabiki's voice unmistakably murmuring, "Oh, you 
like that, did you?  Well...I've got more where that came from..."

Akane caught herself gasping in astonishment.  Nabiki had somebody over in her 
room?  At this late hour?  And they were doing...?

She was suddenly on her feet and moving to the door, not bothering to ask what 
business it was of hers how her sister chose to conduct her affairs.  The fact 
that Nabiki was doing this under their father's roof had her outraged and she 
slammed her way through the door to her sister's room without bothering to 
wonder that it had not been locked against such entrance.

What she saw there in the dim light of the moon made her stop in numb surprise, 
the angry words she had been about to voice dying unspoken on her lips.  In 
place of her outrage she just gave her two older sisters the most peculiar 
expression and said, "Nani?"

"Akane-chan?" Kasumi looked at her in surprise, unintentionally mimicking a deer 
caught in the headlights as she lay atop a naked Nabiki with their groins 
pressed together and hands extended to grope each other's breasts in an all-too-
meaningful way.

"Don't you believe in knocking, Sis?" Nabiki replied with more irritation than 
shame, obviously annoyed at being interrupted in the sport that she and Kasumi 
had been sharing.

"You...?" Akane said with very round eyes, "You...?"

"Oh my," Kasumi remarked, "Have we shocked you, Akane-chan?  I'm so sorry..."

Nabiki heaved a sigh as she looked up at Kasumi, "Mind if we put a pause on 
this, Sis?  I think our little sister needs a good talking to about butting into 
other people's business."

"Of course, imoutochan-chan," Kasumi said with endearing tenderness at Nabiki, 
then allowed herself to be rolled over to one side as Nabiki got out from 
underneath her and stood up, not even bothering to reach for a robe to cover her 
nude body.  She walked up to Akane and folded her arms, giving a look almost of 
challenge as she said, "So what's with the look of big surprise?  Didn't you 
ever suspect that maybe Oneechan and I had this kind of a relationship going 
between us?"

"Ah...ah..." Akane swallowed, "N-No...why?  I mean...how long as you two 
been...?"

"A couple of years now," Nabiki replied, "Before Ranma and his freeloading 
father showed up.  It started one night when I had a very bad nightmare and 
Kasumi came over to comfort me, just like Mom always used to do, and...well...I 
notice that she wasn't really like Mom, and, I...think you can see what it lead 
to.  We've been very careful to only do this in private, and most of the time we 
pretend to be real casual and such, but the truth is that we're in love with 
each other, Akane-chan...totally, deeply and passionately committed.  That's one 
reason we're in favor of your engagement to Ranma, after all...the two of you 
keep father distracted.  He's too busy trying to get you hitched to even try 
arranging marriages for us.  Kasumi and me...well...we're just as tight as can 
be...understand what I'm saying?"

"But...how can you keep a thing like this away from our father?" Akane marveled.

"It hasn't always been easy," Nabiki confessed, "But it helps that Daddy only 
sees what he wants to see, and it's not like he wants to see his two little 
girls are having the time of their lives screwing each others brains out."

"I...can't believe this!" Akane wailed, "You I could understand...but Kasumi?  
And what about Doctor Tofu?"

"What about Doctor Tofu?" Kasumi asked with a typically oblivious expression.

"Hey," Nabiki said, "It's not like it's any of your business, and besides that 
it doesn't affect you any.  After all, you've got Ranma..."

"But..." Akane suddenly remembered something, "Hey, didn't you once say you were 
looking to marry a cute guy?  And I remember you also were interested when the 
engagement was first announced..."

"That was just a few months after Kasumi and I became lovers," Nabiki waved a 
hand dismissively, "I was still pretty confused about the lesbian thing and I 
wanted to see if I could still go for boys.  You will remember that I was pretty 
turned on about Ranma's female half until I learned he was really a boy inside.  
I still think it's kind of neat, but Ranma isn't interested in a girl who wants 
him that way, not while he has you..."

"And what's that supposed to mean?" Akane frowned.

"Well," Nabiki began, "You are more like a boy than most girls his own age..."

Akane had taken more than enough and took a step forward to slap her middle 
sister when her hand passed through Nabiki's face as though she were an image 
reflected in a pool of water.  That image rippled as Akane staggered and found 
herself suddenly inside the kitchen in the middle of broad daylight.

"Akane-chan?" Kasumi was looking up from where she was preparing lunch, chopping 
vegetables on a cutting board before putting them into a wok to stir-fry.

"Oneechan?" Akane was relieved to find that Kasumi was fully clothed and looked 
well rested and that there was not the slightest hint that she and 
Nabiki...well, that was a silly dream!  She immediately dismissed the notion.

"I thought you would be a school right now," Kasumi gently chided, "Father is 
away and I'm expecting company at any moment..."

"Nihao!" cried a familiar voice from the vicinity of the back porch.

Akane frowned, "What's she doing here?"

"That's the company I was expecting," Kasumi said brightly as she turned in time 
to see a purple haired vision of loveliness that Akane (had to look twice in 
order to confirm) was surprised to find was indeed Shampoo, but Shampoo wearing 
something other than her usual Chinese outfit.  In fact Shampoo was looking 
positively radiant as she came up to Kasumi with a bag in one hand and said, "I 
got everything at the market that you...what is SHE doing here?" she frowned at 
Akane.

"Nothing," Kasumi said brightly, "Pretend she isn't there.  Akane just stopped 
off on her way to school, she really doesn't have any interest in what we're 
doing."

"That good," Shampoo smiled as she came up to Kasumi, standing on her tip-toes 
as she leaned forward and kissed her on the mouth, a kiss that Kasumi eagerly 
returned in equal earnestness.

"Hah?" Akane felt so stunned you could have knocked her over with a feather.

"Put the vegetables on the counter so we can wash them," Kasumi said as if 
nothing unusual had just happened between her and the Amazon.

"Okay," Shampoo said brightly, doing as instructed with her usual cheerfulness 
while pointedly ignoring Akane altogether.

"Wait a minute..." Akane said slowly, "What are you two doing...?"

"Preparing dinner, of course," Kasumi said, "Shampoo's been most helpful for me 
in keeping house.  It's kind of a private arrangement we have where she comes 
over to help cook and clean in exchange for language lessons.  I'm helping her 
master Japanese, as you can see she already speaks better than she used to."

"That is because I have started to get the hang of personal pronouns," Shampoo 
noted matter-of-factly, "No more 'This one,' or "Shampoo this or that' or the 
other things I used to say when I first got here.  I got very tired of everyone 
always treating me like an idiot because of the way I talk, as if you would 
sound any better in Chinese," she added the latter part with a contemptful sniff 
in Akane's direction.

"Now be nice, Xian Pu-chan," Kasumi chided, "Akane speaks very good English, so 
I think she could master another if she tries."

"And maybe her pet pig could fly," Shampoo retorted, then more gently added, 
"But I suppose I should try to get along with her, Airen.  After all, she is 
your sister, which makes her my sister as well..."

"What?" Akane blinked, "What did you just call Kasumi?"

"Oh my," Kasumi blushed, "I was hoping I wouldn't have to explain that part.  
You see...some time after Shampoo first started coming around our house, I was 
cleaning out a bowl when Shampoo came bursting through the door demanding to see 
Ranma.  I'm afraid I dropped the soapy contents on the floor, so when Shampoo 
came up to me to ask where Ranma was, she slipped on the soap bar and..."

"Wait a minute," Akane blinked, "When did this happen?  Before or after..."

"Before Ranma conked me on the head with my own mace, of course," Shampoo 
replied, "Which makes her my true Airen, not Ranma."

"But...she's a girl! And you love Ranma..." Akane protested.

"Your sister," Shampoo said, turning around with a look of real annoyance, "Is 
the nicest, kindest person I have ever met, and the first real friend I made 
after leaving China.  She got me that job working for Doctor Tofu, and it was 
because of her that I only tried to take your memories away instead of killing 
you, as the law demanded."

"But...Ranma...?" Akane blinked in growing confusion.

"Do you think I am a complete idiot?" Shampoo asked her, "I knew at once that 
she was a man cursed to transform into a woman, right after talking to the 
Jusenkyo guide when I caught up with him on the outskirts of our village.  I 
pretended not to know because it gave me the excuse I needed to leave China.  I 
never actually wanted to hurt Ranma, I just had to make it look like I was going 
to or I'd never have been allowed to stay away this long by the Elders."

"But...why?" Akane wondered.

"Because I like it here," Shampoo said, "Japan has so many wonderful things that 
you can't find anywhere in China.  Chasing Ranma has always been my excuse for 
getting away from simple country life, the only excuse that my great grandmother 
would have accepted.  I'm not in love with him, not the way you think anyway.  I 
have always been in love with Kasumi, but I couldn't tell my great grandmother 
that because she's too traditional-minded.  Besides, I know you and Ranma are 
closer than I'll ever be with him.  Any idiot could see that I'm never going to 
get his affections."

"But-but-but...?" Akane sputtered.

"I like women," Shampoo explained, "I always have.  In my village it's the only 
thing you're taught to value is your womanhood, so why not look up to the other 
women in my village?  Only I can't really bond with my own people...we're too 
competitive, and no one can risk trusting each other with the Elders lording it 
over us.  That...Old Woman would have fits if she knew the truth about me!  I 
enjoy Ranma most when he's in his female form, but Ranma doesn't love me the way 
I care about Kasumi."

"Tadaima!" Nabiki called out, "You kids behaving yourselves while I've been 
away?"

"Hello Nabiki," Kasumi said brightly, "Did you enjoy your date with Ukyo?"

"What do you think?" Nabiki ginned wickedly, "I just stopped over to get some 
stuff from my room.  Hope nobody minds but I'm spending the night over at 
Ucchan's."

"Ucchan's?" Akane all but exploded, "You mean...you're seeing Ukyo?"

"Get over it, Sis," Nabiki said drolly, "Besides, what are you getting upset 
about anyway what I do with one of your nominal rivals?"

"But-but..." Akane sputtered in repetition of her earlier stammer.

"It's like this," Nabiki inclined her head, "Ukyo and I are business partners.  
We respect each other, she's got a good head for finances, and she's an up and 
coming star in the restaurant business.  Together we're looking to make a 
considerable fortune together, and if on the side we're also having a little 
fun, then who's it gonna hurt?  Besides, do you think she dresses up like a guy 
by accident?  Take my word for it, she's loads of fun on a Saturday night."

Nabiki winked at her two sisters, then said, "Well, better get the KY Jelly I 
stored in my room.  I'm so tired of always using cooking oil for a lubricant..."

As she turned to leave Akane backed away, then whirled about, ignoring the 
questions and shouts in her direction, and fled into another part of the house.  
As it was she saw the Shogi board laying on the porch untended and felt a sudden 
need for some consultation.  She started out towards the dojo when strange 
sounds reached her ear, causing her to halt in mid-stride.

"Dad?" she asked, in mild disbelief, halting a moment, then moving forward 
again.

As she crept near to the entrance, which was closed in spite of the time of day, 
she heard the sound of Saotome Genma exclaim, "Ah, Tendo-kun...that feels so 
good!  If our children only knew..."

"Let's try not to let them find out, Saotome," her father replied back, "We 
don't want them to know the REAL reason why we want our families united."

"Tell me about it, Tendo-kun," Genma chuckled, "If my wife knew my real reason 
for staying away all of these years..."

"She'd have us both commit seppuku," her father said, half in humor, half in 
dread.

"Dad," Akane said in shock, "Not you too?"

"And to think, we have the Master to thank for bringing us together..."

"That's it, I'm out of here!" Akane angrily declared, turning around angrily, 
only to find Ranma standing in her path looking at the dojo.

"Those two perverts at it again?" he said in mild disgust, "You'd think they 
could at least be quiet about it instead of waking up the whole neighborhood..."

"Ranma," Akane gasped, "What...?"

"I decided to skip school and come home," he shrugged, "What else am I gonna do 
now that everybody knows my big secret and all my other girlfriends are busy 
screwin' somebody else besides me.  It's not like I can show my face in a lotta 
places, thanks to Kodachi spreading that rumor that I'm really her Lesbian 
Lover."

"She what?" Akane blinked, "But that's...!"

"Crazy?  Don't I know it," Ranma sniffed, "I thought she had more sense than to 
say stuff like that just to shock her old man.  I mean, we've been at it for two 
years and she never complained about me before, and I always thought she liked 
my boy half better.  Maybe if I'd been born a man things wouldn't be so 
complicated..."

"W-what?" Akane gasped, "Kodachi...and you?  Born a man?  What..."

"Look, Akane, we've been over this before," Ranma said tiredly, "You know I was 
born a girl, only Pop wanted a son so bad he went and threw me into that cursed 
spring when I was little.  Ever since I've had to put up with looking like this 
every time I get wet," he glanced down at himself in disgust, "At least Kodachi 
seemed to like me with the curse, but now that's over, well...I dunno what to do 
any more.  I mean, you and me, we're just friends, right?"

"But...but..." Akane started to gasp as the scene changed on her once again, and 
she was back in the dojo squaring off with the female Ranma.

"I told you before, Akane," she was saying patiently, "You gotta control you're 
your temper, not let it control you!  Ya asked me to help train you, but I can't 
show you nothin' as long as you keep getting angry over nothin'!"

"But I...I didn't," Akane protested.

"Hah, pull the other one!" Ranma-chan sniffed, "You said you thought I was cute, 
right?  So why are you so mad because you found out I could also turn into a 
boy?"

Akane felt herself growing angry, "Because you ARE a boy, and boys are so...!"

"Yucky?" Ranma sniffed, "And that applies to me even when I'm not a guy?"

"You-you pervert!" Akane automatically snapped out the insult.

"Now hold on," Ranma-chan growled, "You walked in on me when I was taking a 
bath, so how does that make me a pervert?"

"B_because..." Akane stopped herself as she started to listen to her own voice, 
then she whispered aloud, "I...I guess it doesn't..."

"You see?" Ranma-chan smiled confidently, taking a step closer to Akane, "That 
wasn't so hard, was it?"  And with one fluid motion she bent Akane backwards 
into a swoon with Ranma-chan poised over her looking down with a lustful 
expression.

"Admit it," she said with a sensual purr, "You like me better this way, don't 
you?"

"But...what...I mean..." Akane's head was starting to spin, and suddenly she 
pressed her hands to her temples and cried out, "That's it!  I've had enough of 
this crazy dream!  Stop it now!  I want to wake up for real this time, you got 
that Majurak?"

A little man appeared off on the corner of the stage and complained, "You're no 
fun to play with anymore, you know that, Tendo?"

All at once Akane flopped onto her back and woke up in bed, completely nude this 
time and yet feeling as if this time she was in the right setting.  Sure enough 
a glance around confirmed that this time she had the right bedroom with the 
right type of furnishings, and though the light was dim she could make out the 
person beside her with clarity as that party asked, "What is it, Akane-chan?  
Are you all right?"

"Yeah," Akane sighed, "I'm sorry for waking you, I just had one of those 
nightmares..."

"That dream demon guy again," her companion huffed and flopped back down in bed, 
"I told you before, that creep's nothin' but trouble."

"I know," Akane growled, "But you'd think he could at least leave me alone now 
that we're finally married.  All that stuff I was just dreaming...it's too 
bizarre to go into!"

"Count to ten and go back to sleep," her companion's muffled voice was partially 
obscured by pillows, "We both got a big day ahead of us tomorrow, and you need 
your beauty sleep..."

"Very funny," Akane sniffed, then paused before adding, "You ever think about 
those times, back before we finally admitted how we feel about each other?"

"All the time," her companion said tiredly, "But what's the point?  It's all in 
the past, and we're two different people now.  Back then we were just a couple 
of mixed up kids who could never admit to anything, let alone what we were 
feeling."

"You're right," Akane smiled, "Of course you are.  It's just that I can't 
believe how long I fought this.  I always used to tell myself I was going to 
find the right guy and settle down, then you came along and all I could do was 
build up walls of denial and resentment.  I said some pretty cruel things about 
you over the years..."

"Me too," her companion said, "We both chalked up our share of mistakes, but 
it's in the past, and I'd just as soon leave it there, so wouldja please go to 
sleep already?  I promise I'll make it up to you in the morning, Akane-chan."

"I know you will," Akane smiled lasciviously, laying back down on her half of 
the bed, "As long as we're honest about our feelings and we love each other we 
can do anything, and nobody can say anything against us."

"That's what I always say," her companion yawned, then rolled over with a fond, 
"G'night, Akane-chan."

"Goodnight Ukyo," Akane smiled, and slipped off to bed with pleasant dreams 
instead of the nightmares...



To be or not to be Continued?  ^_^

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