One Really F*cked Up Party by Ordinary Orpheus (NC-17. Read at your own risk. You get caught reading this and your parents will probably kick your ass! I don't own Ranma 1/2 or anything related to it. On with the show!) This had been the worst party ever. Nabiki sighed and frowned at the others. Akane was pouting, trying to ignore Ranma as he bragged to Ukyo and Shampoo about the size of his muscles. Kasumi looked pleasant, but in a way that seemed more jaded than usual. What this party needed was something to get it going. As soon as Kasumi turned her back, Nabiki spiked the punch with as much sake as she could. "Oh my," Kasumi said, calmly eyeing the pitcher of punch that Nabiki was pouring out into glasses. "I think I left the pie in the oven." "Pie?" Nabiki said, starting to drink a glass of the punch. She stopped, then shrugged and downed the glass anyway. "Screw it," she said. An hour later, even Kasumi was showing off her muscles to Ukyo and Shampoo. Nabiki suddenly loved this party. "This is the greatest night of my life!" she screamed, throwing another bucket of cold water onto Ranma who was already soaked to the skin with water. Ukyo staggered over to Ranma and dumped some hot water on her head, then Nabiki dumped some cold water on him. Ukyo splashed her again, and Nabiki splashed him again. And again. And again. And again. Ranma, the whole time, just kept laughing, his voice changing back and forth from high to low, as wave after wave of water hit him/her. Pretty soon, Ukyo ran out of water and had to go refill her jug again. "Wait!" Ranma yelled unsteadily. Nabiki splashed him with cold water again as he/she said, "Come back!" "Ukyo!" Nabiki yelled. "Come back! No wait! Go away! Don't come back!" Nabiki laughed and sighed to herself. Akane appeared to be passed out on the floor, but then rose and proclaimed, "I FUCKING LOVE EVERYBODY!" She then lay back on the floor and began laughing uncontrollably. "This is getting dull," Nabiki complained, suddenly frowning. "Yeah," Akane said. "Where's P-chan?" "I don't know..." Nabiki replied, looking around. "Oh, just shut up," Kasumi told Akane. "You wouldn't know P-chan if you were looking him right in the eyes." "Huh?" Akane said. "You heard me!" Kasumi added, swaying, pointing a finger back at Akane with glass in hand. "You are so stupid, Akane! Geez!" "Kasumi!" Ranma said. "Give her a break! Akane can't help it if she's stupid!" Ukyo returned with some hot water and changed Ranma back to boy-type. "I say, fuck the pig!" Ukyo added, punctuating it with a rather obscene gesture. "Yeah!" Shampoo said, "Him and duck-boy can go jump in lake!" "Anyway," Nabiki added, "it's kinda nice having an all-girl party." She hurled another bucket of cold water onto Ranma. "Oh, I don't know," Ukyo said, dumping some hot water onto Ranma again. "I kinda like having at least one guy over. Just a little slumber party would be boring." "Then again," Nabiki said, dumping some more cold water onto Ranma, "it's better if we don't get all bent out of shape and start fighting just cause of a little jealousy." "But fighting can be fun, too," Ukyo added, with some hot water on Ranma's head. "Except we were told not to fight," Nabiki said, splashing Ranma with cold water again. "All right! All right!" Ranma exclaimed. "I'm not a fish!" Ukyo and Nabiki stared at him evilly for a moment, then they both splashed him at the same time with as much water as they could. After changing about another hundred times, Ranma stabilized into girl-type. "I win!" Nabiki said, sticking her tongue at Ukyo. "Screw you!" Ukyo said, throwing the pitcher at Nabiki. Soon the room erupted into a war, everyone throwing things at everyone else. A minute later, they were all bruised and laughing, lying around on the slightly damp floor. "Shit!" Nabiki said, still smiling. "That was one fucker of a test, today!" "I agree!" Ranma said, joining Akane and Ukyo in a chorus of "I agree!" Shampoo was about to say, "I agree!" too, but got pummeled by the others. "Oh, shut up, Shampoo!" Akane said. "Yeah," Ukyo told her. "You don't even go to fucking school." "Go back to China, you bitch!" Kasumi added. "I take test if I could," Shampoo said, indignant. The others snorted and began laughing heartily. Ranma crawled her way over to Shampoo and said, "You? Take our tests?! No way!" "Why no?" Shampoo asked. "Because," Nabiki said, "you have to be able to read. You don't read Japanese. Hell, you barely speak it!" "I just have little pronunciation problem," Shampoo said, folding her arms. "I read just fine." Ukyo frowned and said, "The test was the easy part, actually." "Oh, yeah," Nabiki said, thinking. "That graduation ceremony. What a drag! I thought I'd never get out of there." "I fell asleep during the ceremony," Akane admitted. "I guess I'm lucky." "I wish I could have fallen asleep," Ranma said. "They kept droning on and on about what we should do with our lives," Ukyo complained. "What a boring load of crap!" "As if taking any stupid old test is going to matter!" Akane added. "Then to have to listen to that shit!" Nabiki said. "Well, I'm just glad it's over." "Yeah," Kasumi said, thinking. "So, what are you going to do with your life, Nabiki?" "Hell if I know," Nabiki replied, smirking. "Not really my problem." "We'll probably end up taking care of our parents," Akane said, nearly sober. "That's going to be so fucked up!" "You mean," Kasumi corrected, "I am. Me, especially. I already have to take care of all you idiots." "Oh, quit complaining," Ukyo told her. "I go to school and work and take care of myself. You people have it easy." "So what you all wish could do?" Shampoo asked them. "I wish I was rich," Nabiki said, immediately. "I wish I was famous," Akane said, sighing dreamily. "I just wish Pop would fuck off," Ranma added. "He's not hanging around, by the way?" "No," Nabiki replied. "He and Father went off on that mission. Remember?" "Oh yeah," Ranma said. "They won't be back till tomorrow," Akane added. "I wish for very large marriage, someday," Shampoo said, giggling. "I wish I could change Ranma back to a guy," Ukyo said, her stare lingering over Ranma's body, wetly sticking to her clothes. "Then I could rub my hands all over him." Ranma warmed up to that idea, saying, "You could rub your hands on me, anyway. I promise not to call you a pervert, later." Akane turned and glared at Ranma, "Hey! What about me?!" "What about you?" Ukyo shot back. "I'm his fiancee, too, you know!" "Is true for Shampoo, too," Shampoo added. "I wish," Kasumi said, "the rest of you would shut up. I'm still trying picture Nabiki rich and Akane famous." "Take picture?" Shampoo said, taking out a video camera. "Shampoo take picture." "Hey," Nabiki said, "you have a video camera?" "That's way cool!" Ranma said, getting up to look at it. Ranma tried to grab it, but Shampoo evaded him easily. "Shampoo take picture. Not Ranma!" "Okay, okay," Ranma said, backing off. "Hey, Shampoo," said Ukyo, grabbing Ranma. "Take a picture of this." Ukyo took a hold of Ranma's shirt and pulled it off, exposing Ranma's breasts. Ranma was a little embarrassed, in spite of being totally bombed, but Akane was furious and she pulled Ukyo's shirt off (along with the chest wrap) and said, "Hey, Shampoo! Get a picture of this, too!" Shampoo turned and got good shots despite both of them trying to cover themselves. Ukyo and Ranma tried to gang up on Akane, but Akane defended her shirt violently. "Now, now," Kasumi said, "remember what Father told us." "What?" Nabiki asked. "Remember when we were younger and Nabiki took off her shirt in front of Father?" Kasumi asked. "Oh, yeah," Akane said, still fending off Ranma and Ukyo. Shampoo diligently continued shooting, and said, "This fun. Me capture rare family moment." "Nabiki had been trying to cool herself," Akane said. "She took off her shirt just like Ranma always does, and Father got really upset." "'Never show your breasts in this house, young woman,' he told her," Kasumi added. "We all laughed, but I think Father was really embarrassed." "Well, he never said that to me," Ranma told her. Ukyo arranged her hair and said, "Okay, I think I've got it covered." She then wrestled Akane to the ground and ripped her shirt off. "Hahhahaha! Got it!" Akane chased Ukyo around the room while Ukyo waved Akane's shirt in the air. Meanwhile, Ranma and Nabiki laughed. Nabiki told her, "Hey, Akane. Just use your hair. Oops! I forgot. You don't have hair, do you?!" Akane turned and glowered at Nabiki, who then became nervous and tried to dodge Akane's sudden attack. Akane then managed to take Nabiki's shirt. "So, what?" Akane said. "You don't have all that much hair, either, Nabiki." Kasumi found all this hilarious, so they all ganged up on her and took her shirt, too. Still bombed, they laughed while Shampoo shot video. "Me want join in, too," Shampoo said, taking a moment to strip herself naked. She then picked up the camera and pointed it around at all of them, who were stunned in amazement with Shampoo's audacity. They fell over each other laughing, still trying to hide their breasts. "Why everyone laugh at Shampoo?" "I'm with Shampoo," Nabiki said. "I think we should get naked." "In front of the camera?" Akane asked, still covering her breasts with her hands. "Yeah," Ranma said, taking off her pants. "Why not, Akane?" "Yeah, Akane," Ukyo said, taking off her pants, "Live a little. Take some chances." "I don't know," Kasumi said, "You think we should?" "Hell no," Nabiki replied. "And that's the perfect reason why I say hell yes." Nabiki unzipped her pants and removed them. "Ah, forget it, Nabiki," Ukyo told her. "Akane just doesn't get it." "I agree with them," Ranma said. "Live it up, for a change. Celebrate. Why not?" "Well..." Akane said, uncertain. "Never mind," Nabiki told them, rolling her eyes. "This is Akane we're talking about. She'll never expose herself. She's too shy." "You're probably right," Ranma said, disappointed. "Anyway, I've got a much better body than she does." Akane grimaced, clenched a fist, and then ripped her skirt off, exposing her panties. "Oh, so you think I'm too shy, huh?" The rest of them were shocked to see little piggies on her panties. Then they fell over laughing again. Akane was confused for a moment, then blushed in embarrassment. "Boy," said Shampoo, still holding the camera, "Me never would guess silly tomboy had such underwear." Kasumi looked determined for a moment, then carefully removed her skirt, revealing her complete nudity. "I never wear underwear," she said. "Too confining." Ukyo pulled off her panties, followed shortly by Nabiki. Ranma brazenly stepped out of her underwear, then turned and looked at Akane. Akane sighed and said, "They aren't very flattering, anyway." She ripped them off and tossed them aside. They all stood around, swaying in their inebriation for a moment before they began chuckling again. "Kasumi's right," Ukyo then said. "We should all be ashamed of ourselves." "Huh?" Ranma said, a little wide-eyed and dizzy. "Yeah," Nabiki explained, "we're still exposing our breasts. Such shameful behavior!" Nabiki sat down on the floor and crossed her arms, effectively ending most of the peep show for Shampoo's video camera. Kasumi and Akane joined her almost immediately, then Ranma and Ukyo. Shampoo continued shooting, as the others sat in a semi-circle. "That's better," Nabiki said. She thought for a moment, then said, "You know, Daddy only said that we couldn't show our breasts." "So?" Akane asked. "Well..." Nabiki said, unfolding her arms again, then laying down on her back and bringing her knees up over her breasts. She held a hand on each knee, keeping her legs firmly placed in front of her breasts. "He never said we couldn't show off our cunts." Akane and Kasumi looked at her like they just had the wind knocked out of them. Ukyo chuckled then lay back and raised her knees in the same fashion. Ranma followed suit, then Kasumi. Akane nervously swallowed, then sighed again, lay flat on her back, and pulled her knees up in front of her breasts, obscenely revealing her wet, hairy pussy to Shampoo's camera. Shampoo got a good long shot of them with her video camera, marveling to herself. "Me see sick things before, but never like this." Shampoo was about to turn away from Ukyo, when Ukyo told her, "Wait..." Ukyo then reached down and began to fondle herself, moaning softly as she rubbed a finger all around her labia, then gasped as she gently rubbed her clit. "Damn," Ranma commented, still not too much in a position to judge, but still able to say with some conviction, "That is totally fucked up!" Nabiki laughed abruptly for a moment, then stopped and passed out. ------- Soun and Genma had just finished their mission--sealing up the evil master Happosai at the bottom of a basement in an old warehouse in a locked safe. "There," Genma said, wrapping a huge chain around it and putting a big lock on the chain. "That ought to hold him." "Farewell, Master," Soun said to the safe. "Heh. And good riddance," Genma added. They stood for a few moments to appreciate their work, then began climbing the stairs toward the entrance. Soun had a worried look all of a sudden, and said, "We should hurry back. I'm worried about Ranma and the girls." Genma chuckled and said, "Seriously? No, I don't think we have a thing to worry about." "Really?" "Hey, this is Ranma we're talking about. What's he going to do?" Genma chuckled softly and added, "That boy wouldn't know how to have a good time if it smacked him in the head." ------- Ranma was lying on the floor, still naked along with the others, and still being video taped by Shampoo, who was now trembling with excitement. Ukyo and Kasumi had Ranma pinned down, and were covering her with left-over punch. Akane stared in amazement, as Ukyo suddenly began pissing on Ranma. "Oops!" she exclaimed, giggling to herself. She then sighed with relief as Ranma groaned in disgust and changed back to boy-type--growing very hard before their eyes. "I'm not cleaning that up!" Kasumi said, then started giggling. "Don't look at me!" Ukyo told her, immediately grabbing Ranma's swollen member, caressing it. Kasumi slapped Ukyo's hand away from Ranma and said, "Hey! That's rude! You should at least ask permission, first!" "You're right, Kasumi," Ukyo said. "Ran-chan, is it okay if I fuck your brains out?" "Huh? Oh, sure," Ranma replied, hardly in a mood to disagree. Ukyo was about to mount Ranma, when Kasumi pushed her away and said, "Hey! No fair! Let one of us go first!" Shampoo went over to Kasumi and said, "Me think Shampoo and wuoda airen go first! All rest say shai shen!" "Forget it, Shampoo!" Akane said. "Ranma is my fiance! I'm the only one who has a right to touch him!" "Oh, please!" Kasumi said, rolling her eyes. "You wouldn't know what to do with him. Let someone with a little experience show Ranma what a real woman can do." Nabiki grunted to herself, still passed out, and rolled over. Ukyo pushed Kasumi out of the way, and mounted Ranma, saying, "I say, first come, first cum!" She slipped Ranma's cock straight into her vagina and exclaimed, "Oh, shit! That's it!" Ranma gasped and looked up at Ukyo in wide-eyed shock and pleasure. As the others looked on in shock, Ranma thrusted himself in and out of Ukyo with blinding speed. "OHHOHUHOHAHHHARRRGGG!" Ukyo exclaimed, her body rigid with an explosion of pleasure, far beyond anything she ever imagined existed. "SHIT!" she added. "FUUUUCK!" Shampoo took a good closeup of the action, but all she could see was a blur of Ranma's cock going in and out of Ukyo's pussy, his balls slapping her at furious speed. "Great Buddha of shit!" Shampoo vowed. "That--!" Akane said, unable to finish. "I know," Kasumi said, her mouth hanging open in awe. "That's almost scary." Ranma continued thrusting into Ukyo at an insane speed, and Ukyo continued to be rigid for another few moments. She grimaced and blinked a few times, then said, "Oh, shit! This cannot be happening." "You believe it," Shampoo said, bringing the camera around for another angle. "Me soon have proof." "Oh, SHIT!" Ukyo suddenly yelled, clenching her own breasts very hard. She bounced on Ranma's thrusting shaft and began screaming her pleasure as she came. "YUNHUHHHHARRHHHHH!" she said, then added, "Damn it, Ran-chan! Come, already!" Then, as if on command, Ranma slammed into Ukyo's pussy with one violent thrust and fired his sperm deep inside of her, yelling out as he did so, "Oh, fuck!" He thrusted again and said, "Oh, fuck!" He thrusted again and again and again, saying, "Fuck! Fuck! FUCK!" After another five or six times, they were both spent--both covered with various bodily secretions, and panting. "Whoa!" Akane exclaimed, trembling with fear and lust. "That was fucking intense!" "Yeah," Kasumi agreed, telling her, "I think you should go next, Akane." "Me?" Akane said, hesitant. "I go!" Shampoo said, handing the camera to Akane. Akane yanked her back, though. "No way," Akane told her, giving her back the camera. "It's my turn." Akane was a little amazed, but Ranma was still very hard, so she mounted him and was rewarded with a sensation that was somewhere in between getting hit by lightning and drowning in an ocean filled with fudge ice cream. Akane's brain froze with the intensity of her pleasure, and she completely blacked out the experience from start to when Ranma's boiling hot cum began flowing inside her uterus. "UHHHHOHHH!" she yelled, bucking uncontrollably, as she came for what felt to her like the thousandth time. Shampoo and Kasumi were further back, trembling in terror and lust at the swirling tornado of auras around Ranma and Akane. At the moment of their first mutual orgasm, the auras swirled into a bright branch of light and blew a hole through the second floor and the roof, lighting up clouds far above. The second time they both came, the auras swirled madly and then burst in all directions, shaking the ground like an earthquake. After their mutual conflicts, their auras died down. Debris that had been flying around the room fell to the floor like rain. Shampoo generously allowed Kasumi to go next, and all that had happened with Akane was just a prelude to what happened when Kasumi mounted Ranma. For several moments, nothing out of the ordinary happened, other than Ranma thrusting his cock in and out of Kasumi at blinding speed. But then, it seemed as if time stood still. For one moment, the room was filled with an intangible sense of utter foreboding, then time began in slow-motion. Now, it seemed as if they could actually see Ranma's penis thrusting in and out of Kasumi with agonizing slowness, and now they could see Kasumi's brief rigidity suddenly explode into fiery motion. In the space of a minute or so, Kasumi and Ranma had blended into a single, well-honed machine. Kasumi matched her own thrusts with Ranma's, bringing out the maximum effect possible. This time, the auras were like a tidal wave, and lightning flashed all directions, blowing holes in the walls. Debris swirled like mad, and the ground shook constantly for a full three minutes, as Ranma and Kasumi cried out their pleasure over and over again. Then, with a soft, mournful cry, she came for the last time and passed out with relief, falling on top of Ranma. Shampoo was hornier than ever, but Ranma had also passed out and he was stubbornly limp. None of the others seemed to notice--all blissfully unaware of anything, as Shampoo softly wept. ------- The next morning, Happosai was happily raiding the women's locker room of a nearby cram-school--despite what Soun and Genma had thought. He was merely frolicking along, minding his own business (which amounted to being chased by several young women wearing only towels while hauling his big bag full of their underwear) when he noticed a strange rectangular lump in his bag. "Hmm..." he said. "I wonder what this is." ------- "The tape!" Akane exclaimed, suddenly dropping her mop and fleeing the room. Kasumi stopped scrubbing the ceiling for a moment to think back, then said, "Oh my!" Ranma then descended a ladder, putting away his hammer and nails as he said, "I think we'd better have a word with Shampoo!" ------- After Happosai had recovered from his severe beatings, he managed to find the tape, and he wandered around the school building, looking for a tape player. ------- When Ranma and Akane arrived at the Cat Cafe, Shampoo was smug and directed them to a room where she said they would see something they might find interesting. Ukyo was already there, frowning and muttering to herself. Kasumi and Nabiki soon joined Akane and Ranma, and entered. Shampoo proudly pressed the "play" button for them, reassuring them that they would find this all "very amusing." They weren't very anxious to see it, but when they did, the tape in fact, turned out to be very amusing, indeed. Before they knew it, they were watching a video of an old birthday party--Shampoo pounding on Mousse, while Mousse accidently tripped and tore off her dress. "Aiyaah!" she exclaimed. "This no is right tape!" "Wait a minute!" said Ukyo. "If this isn't the tape from last night, then where is it?!" ------- Happosai was sitting in the deserted presentation room of the library's multimedia center, watching the most incredibly stimulating video he had ever seen. The large dark room was state-of-the-art. A huge projection screen outfitted with huge stereo speakers. But even had Happosai watched this video playing off a 5" screen through a shower-glass window it would have succeeded in being stimulating. After seeing it through the first time, he was paralyzed with shock. Then he croaked out, "Must... make... copies...!" With that, his aura grew to such an immense size that it rivaled the Pacific Ocean, and his head exploded from the strain of trying to keep his lust pent up within himself. And so, the story had a happy ending, anyway... Sort of... ------- A week later, Ranma and the girls received a strange note from Kodachi about a certain video tape she had acquired. ------- (Okay, that's it. Show's over! Go away!)