Ranma 1/2 - Okonomiyaki Orgy \/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\ The goal of this story was to write a silly Ranma story that was kinda like the TV episodes/OVAs I've seen so far being a non- Japanese speaking American. Funny, in other words, with the usual assortments of magical items and failed plans and fiancee conflictions. Notice the title though. Yeah, it's got sex, a serious lemon of a story, pun intended. That was the trick, make it have wild screaming orgasms and STILL BE keeping with Ranmatypical. Hope it worked, don't know if it did, but if you go for this too you'll like it. (If anybody has the balls to do some fan art from this and puts it on Mughi, it would make many Ranma otaku very happy. We've seen Shampoo in the buff enough, let's see more Ukyou, dammit! :) There's a long setup, however, bewarned; I wanted a well structured plot too, not just mindless hentai debauchery. Since Mega doesn't like anon people, and the Lemon List bounced mail back saying it didn't exist anymore, I decided just to send it to Mughi and let it distribute itself around. I would post it under my own name but I wrote this more for fun than for recognition. Feel free to wideband it to other Takahashi and/or Hentai fanboys, however. \/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\ [Scene : closing up shop at Nekohanten. Mousse is wiping down tables as usual with an ever watchful Cologne making sure he doesn't miss any spots. Shampoo is packing away the day's pots and pans, and humming to herself.] Shampoo : Hmm hm hmmm... ya pa pa... hmm hmm hmmmmm hmmmm... So much business today! Shampoo hardly have time to see her dear Ranma. Maybe Shampoo take day off soon and go on date with Ranma? [Shampoo eyes a nearby catalog, labelled 'JUSENKYO BRAND CURES, CURSES AND MAGICAL FOODSTUFFS'. It has been well thumbed over the years and is stained from a number of failed recipes / experiments.] Shampoo : Stuff on pages one to three hundred twenty two no work on Ranma. Shampoo try all the time, and Shampoo fail. Shampoo keep trying. One bound to work. [She opens to page 323 and examines the first item on the page. She picks up the phone and dials the handy 1-800 number.] Operator : [in Chinese] Hello, Jusenkyou Brand Cures, Curses and Magical Foodstuffs. We enslave more people's brains via chemical treatment before nine AM than most people do all day, CIA included. How may I help you? Shampoo : [in Chinese] Hello, Macky. How's the business? Operator : Shampoo! Glad to hear from you. How'd the Hug-Me Noodles go over? Shampoo : [sighing] They didn't work. Mousse ate them accidentally and the rest was history. Off to the next item. Do you have any... Paralysis Petunia Powder? Operator : Nope, a Ms. Kunou bought our stock out on those. What she wants that much power for, I don't know... she could put half of Tokyo under with that stuff. Hey, Shampoo, want a little advice? Shampoo : Hmm? Operator : Well, since I've gotten to be an expert over the years in your little problem, lemme pick something for you. Lesse. Still want to go the route of food additives? Shampoo : It's what I do best. Operator : Okay. Try this. Okonourge Ramen Sauce. Few teaspoons of this on ordinary ramen and the victim will have an uncontrollable urge to suck down okonomiyaki sauce. Shampoo : I don't get it. How is that helpful? Operator : Simple. Get this Ranma guy to eat some. He'll go into an okonomiyaki obsessed drive. Then you go eat a bunch of okonomiyaki. Shampoo : And...? Operator : He'll smell it on your breath. Smooch city. Great for public areas or in front of that awful Akane girl you keep mentioning. Hope you've got strong lungs or he might suffocate you. Shampoo : HIYA! That could work! Operator : And hey, even if it doesn't, you've gotten a frencher with Ranma as a side bonus. Gotta look for your successes where they come, right? The social implications alone are enough to get you that much closer to Ranma. Shampoo : Macky, where would I be without you? Operator : Let's see... you wouldn't have gone on three hundred and twenty two plans that exploded in your face and kept you from Ranma... you would have considerably more money to spend... I wouldn't have been able to buy that summer house in Tokyo-- Shampoo : I meant that rhethorically. When can you get me some of this... errr... Operator : Okonourge Ramen Sauce? I'll ship it airmail. Wire me twenty thousand yen for it, of course. Good ingredients don't come cheap. Shampoo : Hang on, let me ask great grandmother. [cups phone, continues in Chinese] Great grandmother! Can I have twenty thousand yen to try a new love-sauce on Ranma? Cologne : [narrowing eyes] Shampoo dear, as much as I approve of your chosen method of winning son-in-law over, you could send this restaurant to the poorhouse as a result. Can you PROMISE me results this time? [Shampoo nods in a blur.] Cologne : [sighing] Very well. I expect some intimacy with your husband before your caper is through, little one. Do not fail me. Shampoo : [uncups phone] Ship it! Operator : Righty-o. It'll be there before you can blink. [Shampoo hangs up. Shampoo starts to blink, but is interrupted by a bell. She heads out to the door, where a flying girl (green hair) floats into view, carrying a box with a cheery Jusenkyo label on it.] Delivery Girl : Here's your order. Shampoo : Such good service! [rushes back inside, and pauses as she hears a BZZZT and a groan from some bystander] Girl seem familiar. Wonder why... Oh well! [Shampoo unpacks the crate and begins to read the instructions.] Shampoo : 'Add one teaspoon to bowl of ramen and have victim eat ramen. Victim will feel no effect until scent of okonomiyaki sauce is inhaled. Victim will have no control and will desire only the sauce. Good for okonomiyaki chefs who want to drive the locals out of business!' [Shampoo frowns] Shampoo better make sure Ukyou do not get a hold of this stuff, unless Shampoo want go bankrupt. Shampoo needs to get okonomiyaki now... but how get without raising Ukyou suspicion... [Shampoo's gaze floats over to Mousse, who is arguing with Cologne over a table stain.] Shampoo : Oh, Mousse-kun! [bats eyelashes] [Scene shift to Ucchan's, which is also closing up. Outside, Mousse and Shampoo peek inside the door, watching Ukyou hum a tune while she cleans up.] Ukyou : Hmmm hmmm hmm... hurricane... hmmm... burning touch... Mousse : [outside the restaurant] Alright, so if I do this, you'll go on a date with me? Shampoo : Of course! Shampoo keep word. [is crossing fingers behind her back.] Now go! [Mousse nods, takes a few deep breaths, and charges into Ucchan's. He skids to a halt, and points frantically to the door.] Mousse : Ukyou! Thank heavens I've found you! Akane's serving dinner over at the Tendos, and the casualties are already piling up! Ranma's next! Ukyou : [making a little piku-piku blink noise] What? Thats... thats... inhumane! I've got to save Ran-chan!! [Ukyou grabs her Big-Ass Spatula off the wall and charges out of the store, missing Shampoo completely. Shampoo flashes Mousse a thumbs up, and Mousse darts into the kitchen. He does a quick search of the place, using his hidden weapons knowledge to find Ukyou's sacred okonomiyaki recipe.] [Mousse pulls an Apple Newton out of his sleeve and quickly scribbles it down. He hides the Newton and puts the room back as he found it, slipping out of the restaurant soundlessly.] Shampoo : Did Mousse get recipe? Huh? Mousse : [producing Newton with a flourish] Ta-da! Well, my lovely Shampoo, shall we go out on that da-- [Shampoo snatches the Newton and knocks Mousse into the sky.] Shampoo : Silly Mousse. [she keys up the file, grins evilly and hops on her bike, laying rubber on her way back home.] [Ukyou peeks around the side of the building, having heard everything that was going on. She watches the tiny white dot soar into the sky, calculates where he's going to land according to newton's laws and sets off on foot.] [Scene : Nekohanten, where Shampoo is happily cooking up a few bowls of ramen and some okonomiyakis, plus small containers of sauce. She is taking no chances, and stocking up on as much okonomiyaki as she can. Cologne pogo-sticks in, observing the piles and piles of flat delicacies.] Cologne : Attempting to corner the market, little one? Shampoo : All part of Shampoo's 'Win Ranma Heart' Plan, great grandmother! Cologne : Interesting. Have you seen Mousse? He left the tables unfinished. Shampoo : Shampoo no care where Mousse is. Shampoo must cook for Ranma. Cologne : Very well, you do that. [Cologne pogos off to the back room.] [muttering] Rather one track minded, that girl. Well, if it gets me a son in law, so be it. [Scene : a random part of Tokyo, where Mousse has crashed down and now has a sizable lump on his head. Ukyou is interrogating him while applying a bandage.] Ukyou : So you don't know why she wanted my okonomiyaki recipe? Mousse : Not really. She just said she'd go on a date with me if I got it for her. Ah, how I would have loved that... Ukyou : What, you're not angry? Mousse : She touched me. Well, okay, it was a punch, but contact nonetheless. I treasure those moments. Ukyou : You're hopeless, Mousse. [smiles. The smile fades] Uh-oh. Do you think she's planning another scheme to get my Ran-chan? Mousse : Could be. I think she was calling those magic guys again today, ordering stuff. Ukyou : What's the number for them? Mousse : [producing a thick phonebook from nowhere] It's in the book. Look under Jusenkyo. I... errggh... [thunk, collapses into the familiar pinky and index finger bent position] Ukyou : Looks like she hit you harder than she thought. Might as well check this lead out, though... [leaves Mousse collapsed on the sidewalk and approaches a payphone. She dials 1-800-COLLECT and connects.] Operator : [in Chinese] Hello, Jusenkyou Brand Cures, Curses and Magical Foodstuffs. Quality mood enhancement snack foods for your yen. How may I help you? Ukyou : [in Japanese] Nani? Operator : [in Japanese] Oh, a foreign customer. How may I help you? Ukyou : What products do you have relating to okonomiyaki? Operator : Just Okonourge Ramen Sauce. Anybody eating it has an unquenchable thirst for okonomiyaki sauce. Can be used creatively for unusual results. Would you like to place an order? [Ukyou hangs up on the operator, glowing blue with anger.] Ukyou : So THAT'S her plan. Hmmmmmmmm. Two can play this came... creative uses indeed... [She turns around and notices Mousse, still half dead. She shrugs.] Ukyou : First thing's first, though. [She pulls out the Big- Ass Spatula and scoops Mousse up, heading for the nearest hospital.] [Eyecatch sequence.] \/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\ COMMERICAL BREAK Announcer : [smooth, Barry White voice] Hey. You're an Otaku, and you know it. Let loose your inhibitions, and slip into the warmth and steamy seduction of... 1-900-4XKO. Talk live with our girls for five thousand yen a minute. You could talk to... [Shot of B-Ko coming out of her family pool, with carefully placed boxes of Fruit Loops on kite string to avoid violating Japanese censorship laws] Announcer : ...the sultry B-Ko, who will fill your nights with pleasure and your days with constant repair work on her robot collection. [Shot of B-Ko with a whip overseeing some poor sop working on a large mecha with a wrench. He is not happy.] Announcer : Or for the masochist in you, talk to A-Ko, who will play a more demanding role. Nothing like having a love- toy partner that can crush dumptrucks with a single hand. [Shot of A-ko dragging the previously shown sop through Galaxy City at the speed of sound while the sop bounces off buildings. He looks quite scared.] Announcer : For the true pain fetishist in you... we also present... C-KO : HIEEEEEE!! Announcer : Recommended only for those with death wishes or terminal stupidity. [Shot of C-Ko squeezing the tar out of the sop, who looks more frightened than he had ever been before. He's waving a small sign that reads 'help me' and rapidly turning blue.] Announcer : 1-900-4XKO. Because sometimes you just wanna be hurt badly by the one you love. \/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/ [Scene : Nekohanten, the next day. Cologne is putting up a CLOSED sign on the door, and drawing the shades.] Cologne : Great granddaughter, are you sure this is required? Closing the store for an entire day seems drastic. Shampoo : Shampoo promised you results, Shampoo getting you results. Burp. [politely muffles the burp, and continues into her third okonomiyaki.] Shampoo send letter to Ranma, Ranma coming today for SPECIAL lunch. Great grandmother will let us eat alone, yes? Cologne : If you insist. I shall return in one hour's time, little one. I'll be looking at the mall for an engagement ring... a pair, that is. [pogos off.] [Cologne pogos by an unsuspecting Ranma, who is walking along whistling a tune.] Ranma : Fwee fweee fweee... electric youth... fweee.. eh? Cologne : Greetings, son-in-law. Coming by for a special lunch? Ranma : I am NOT your son-in-law, old ghoul. [defensive] Cologne : [grinning evilly] Enjoy your lunch. [pogos off] [Ranma shrugs off the creeping horrors and enters, noticing the drawn blinds with worry. He ignores the impending note of doom, the lightning flashing behind him and all other negative signs and shuts the door.] Shampoo : [looking up from her fifth okonomiyaki] Ranma! Nihao! [pounce-hugs him] Ranma : Yaaa! Leggo! [squirms] Shampoo : [drops Ranma's head, which whacks against the floor] Ranma right. Eat first. Rest for later. Ranma : You're lucky I managed to escape. Akane was making lunch. Is that the special lunch you mentioned? [points to the pile of okonomiyaki on the table by the door] Shampoo : NO! Ranma meal here. Eat up. [shoves one of the bowls of ramen under his nose.] Ranma : [sniffs the noodles] What's so special about it? Shampoo : Shampoo cook specially for you! Not special enough? Ranma : Well, I never could pass up a free meal. [He starts into it, and after shovelling the spoonful with the tainted lunch on it, Shampoo grins evilly.] Shampoo : Now make smoochy-smoochy! [breathes heavily on Ranma's face.] Ranma : [frowning, and waving in the air] Man, Shampoo, you've gotta start using mouthwash. You... errr... [Shot : Ranma's POV, his focus slipping in and out, trying to fixate itself on Shampoo's face. It eventually snaps into sharp relief.] Ranma : Yum. [shifts his gaze downwards to Shampoo's mouth, licks his lips and dives for it, knocking the two backwards onto a futon Shampoo had moved there just for the occasion.] [Shampoo's arms wave around as Ranma practically crushes her against the floor in an effort to suck all the sauce-taste from her mouth.] [Rumiko Takahashi pops onto screen, waving one of Genma's signs.] Sign : From here on out, I take NO responsibility for the hentai loon that's writing this. [After the sign is pulled off screen, Shampoo is murfling and gasping under Ranma.] Shampoo : Ranma... [ack] Let go minute... [wheeze] Shampoo need breathe! [Shampoo manages to push Ranma away to arm's length with considerable effort.] Shampoo : Ranma love Shampoo? Ranma : Yum! Shampoo : Shampoo so HAPPY! [She lets go and Ranma flops back down, acting like the human suction pump again. Shampoo begins to unbutton her dress whenever Ranma lets up, and eventually has the top completely undone.] Ranma, sniff... down there. [Ranma pauses in his mindless vacuum action, and sniffs Shampoo's nipples. He smells something familiar.] Ranma : Yum. [pounces on one, sucking away. Shampoo's eyes bug out.] Shampoo : It good idea to coat chest in sauce, but Shampoo have no idea Ranma be so enthusiastic! Ranma : [looking up quizically] Yum? Shampoo : No, Ranma continue. [Ranma nods and returns to sucking Shampoo's nipple, slurping all over her right breast. Shampoo lays back and relaxes, enjoying finally being intimate with Ranma.] Shampoo : Too bad Shampoo no figure out how to get Ranma to do more than this. Shampoo not disappointed, still. Other breast now, Ranma. Good boy. Ranma : Yum. [attacks the other breast.] [Shampoo takes the opportunity to reach down and feel for Ranma's pants. She works a hand inside, and gropes around.] Ranma : Yum? [confused] Shampoo : Ranma just enjoy. [smiles evilly, grabbing Ranma inside his trousers. Ranma freaks, grins, then dives at her nipples with renewed vigor.] Wow, Ranma LONG. Wonder how Ranma taste... [Suddenly, there is a WHAM WHAM WHAM at the door. Shampoo panics, grabs Ranma and stuffs him under the okonomiyaki table where she had slipped a bait okonomiyaki for just such a problem. She tries to ignore the slurping noises under the table as Ranma licks it clean, and buttons up her shirt.] Shampoo : We closed! Go away! [she calls out, standing in front of the okonomiyaki table, which is visibly shaking. A few plop off the table and land on the chairs.] Ukyou : Open up in there! I know what you're trying to do, Shampoo! Shampoo : Ukyou go away! Nekohanten closed-- [A huge spatula blade jams itself into the door crack, prying it open. Sunlight streams in, silhouetting the enraged form of Ukyou.] Ukyou : Alright, little miss drugged food, you're not going to get away with this. Shampoo : With what? [strikes an innocent pose.] Ukyou : What's with the stains on your shirt? [points an accusing finger] Shampoo : Shampoo messy eater. Now Ukyou go away and leave Shampoo in peace! [Ranma, half crazed, peeks out from under the main okonomiyaki table. He has finished licking one okonomiyaki clean, sauce all over his mouth, and is looking for his other source.] Ranma : YUM! [jumps Shampoo, pulling her shirt open and ripping the buttons to bits. He reattaches himself and plays milking machine.] Ukyou : [gasps] Ran-chan... Ranma : [looks up] Yum? Ukyou : [turns a steely gaze to Shampoo] How DARE you enchant Ran-chan like that to be your little okonomiyaki love slave when he belongs to ME? Shampoo : [looking smug] Ranma, who you want more, Shampoo who smell nice or not-nice Ukyou? [Ranma looks up and between the two girls, turns back to Shampoo's breasts and continues slurping them around the nipples.] Shampoo : Shampoo thought so... ah... that feel GOOD, Ranma. Ukyou go away, Ranma like Shampoo better. Ukyou : I didn't want to have to do this, but TWO can play at this game. Oh, Ran-chan? Ranma : Yum? [looks up, spit and sauce dripping from his lips] [Ukyou unties the sash on her usual garment, and within six seconds she's completely naked, save the spatula bandolier and Big-Ass on her back. Ranma's eyes fix on her crotch, which is dripping for some reason.] Ukyou : Okonomiyaki sauce. LOTS. Eat up, Ran-chan. [She sits down on one of the chairs that doesn't have an okonomiyaki on it. Ranma leaps off Shampoo and clamps down on Ukyou's crotch, tongue working itself around the folds of her genitals wildly in search of sauce.] Shampoo : HEY! Ukyou : All's fair in love and cooking, Shampoo... ah... OOOOH, Ran-chan, that's so GOOD... [Ukyou's head rolls back as Ranma works magic on her bit that you're not allowed to see in Japan. Shampoo is still lying down, looking rather hurt.] Shampoo : Ranma MINE! [She crawls over to the kneeling Ranma, and pulls his pants completely down] Ukyou : Ahaah... aah... hey, Shampoo, what do you think you're do... rrrrgh... [Shampoo slides under Ranma like she's slipping under a truck to repair it, and grabs Ranma's penis. She tries a few experimental licks, and begins to give him the same treatment he gave her earlier.] Ranma : Mmmphhg! [muffled in Ukyou's crotch] Ukyou : Get away from him, you Chinese bimb... rrgrh... Ran- chan, that's OOOH! OOOOOOHHH! [Ranma, encouraged by Shampoo's efforts, redoubles his speed at eating out Ukyou's saucy one. Ukyou's head rolls back and her chest pushes up and down, back arching against the chair. Thoughts of beating the tar out of Shampoo are lost in her own pleasure. Shampoo manages to work her pants off with a free hand to massage herself.] Ukyou : Ran-chan! Ran-chan! AAHHH! [Shampoo's head is sliding along Ranma's shaft, trying to bring him off. It works... Ranma stiffens up and Shampoo starts gulping. Ranma practically has his entire face into Ukyou's muff when she comes as well, sauce of all kinds running out.] Ukyou : Aaaaahhhh! [collapses in the chair, exhausted. Ranma plops down, fast asleep from the effort. Shampoo carefully works her way out from under him, not as tired.] Shampoo : Phew. Ranma practically like fire hose. Wake up, Ranma! Shampoo want more! Husband not have much stamina for martial artist. Ukyou : [recovering slightly] Oh no you don't... Ran-chan is MINE. He got to know ME carnally first. His first girl. Shampoo : SHAMPOO got to know him first. Nyah. Ukyou : Mine! [Grabs Ranma's limp form and hugs it close to her chest.] Shampoo : MINE! [Grabs one of Ranma's arms and pulls. The tug of war erupts between the two sweaty girls, with a dazed Ranma wondering why he's being torn in half. Ukyou eventually loses her grip, but so does Shampoo and Ranma flops onto the stained cot, snoozing peacefully.] Ukyou : Whoever's left standing when he wakes up gets him next and forever! [pulls out the huge spatula she still has strapped to her back and readys it. Shampoo looks around for her maces, but they're nowhere to be found.] Shampoo : No fair! Shampoo not armed! Ukyou : So poison me! EN GARDE! [Shampoo dives backwards to avoid two wide swipes with the spatula, as Ukyou, angry and buck naked stomps forward to slug it out. Shampoo ducks a third swing and tries to escape by crawling behind Ukyou.] Ukyou : Oh no you don't... [Ukyou twists around and sits on Shampoo's back, pinning her to the restaurant floor. She whips the spatula up in the air and smacks it down hard on Shampoo's exposed rear.] Shampoo : OW! Ukyou : You deserve a spanking for doing that to Ran-chan! [whacks again] [Ukyou gets in one more whack, with Shampoo groping around for table legs to pull herself away. Ukyou raises up for a really huge spanking, but accidentally lifts weight off Shampoo in the process, who scrambles away, sending Ukyou tumbling.] Ukyou : Whoa! [Ukyou rolls to a halt on one side of the restaurant, while Shampoo careens wildly in an attempt to regain her balance towards the back of the restaurant. She inevitably plows headfirst into the table where she was keeping ramen bowls, face planted in some noodles.] Ukyou : [cracking a smile] Hee hee. You look RIDICULOUS. HAHA.. err... why are you looking at me like that? [Shampoo has gotten her heat out of the bowl, and is slurping up a few excess noodles. She picks some out of her purple hair, and sniffs the air. Her gaze locks on Ukyou.] Ukyou : Cripes. [Shampoo springs like a puma, diving across the ten foot reach in less than a second. Before Ukyou can react, she's latched onto Ukyou's pussy better than The Club(tm) and is trying to suck the remaining sauce out of it.] Ukyou : EEEP! Hey! Get off! Pervert girl! [Ukyou tries to pry Shampoo off with a spatula, but Shampoo's amazon roots aren't going to let her lose a good hunted meal without a fight. Shampoo reaches around and grabs each of Ukyou's rear cheeks for support, mashing her face into Ukyou's neither regions.] Ukyou : Aaahhhn... aahh... leggo... go away... aahahhhhh... [Ukyou's grip on the spatula weakens, as pleasure erases her anger. She drops the spatula, eyes closed.] Shampoo : Yum! Ukyou : Errghgh... Shampoo... Shampoo : Yum? [looks up, face dripping] Ukyou : Don't stop now! [reaches down and pushes Shampoo's face back where it belongs. Shampoo licks away, under the influence of the ramen she crashed into, ignoring the source and digging away for the sauce. Ukyou's head beats against the wall she's pushed against, her senses reeling.] OOOHHHH! Don't stop, Shampoo! OOOHHHHHHH... [Meanwhile, Ranma has pulled himself to sitting position, dazed. He sniffs the air, trying to separate the various smells, looking for the one he still craved. He turns a sluggish head over to the two girls, entwined as one.] Ranma : Mppmh. Yum. YUM. [lopes over to the girls, and tries to push Shampoo away from his okonomiyaki pot] Ukyou : Hey... ugh... wait your turn... you can't BOTH eat me... [Ranma dives into the fray, getting a tongue in whenever possible. He and Shampoo bonk heads a number of times, driven by the okonourge. Ukyou lounges back and revels in it.] Ukyou : Oh, Ran-chan... Sham-chan... I... aaahhh! [Ukyou shudders in orgasm, and Ranma and Shampoo push each other out of the way, trying to lap it all up. The three are in bliss, slumped against the wall and spent.] Ukyou : Ah, you two... Ranma : Yum. Um. U. Ucchan? [eyes unglaze] Ukyou : I take it the ramen's wearing off? [note of fear creeping into her voice] Ranma : I feel like I've been hit by a truck. Shampoo : Oooh. Shampoo no feel good either. [wipes excess sauce from her mouth] Ranma : Did I just do what I think I did? Multiple times? Ukyou : Yup. [brushes Ranma's hair] Do you hate us now? Ranma : Surprisingly, no. I liked it. Yum. [joking] Shampoo : Shampoo happy too. Shampoo no knew Ukyou could be so... not know good Japanese word for it. Yum. Ukyou : Neither did I. What an afternoon! I don't think any of us are going to be the same again... Shampoo : Ucchan right. Ranma : I don't know, somehow, I feel as if something's missing... [Akane enters through the wrecked door. (ed. note -- you KNEW this would happen eventually)] Akane : Alright, what's going on in here... Ranma, you're not going to run out on another one of my specially cooked meaAAALLLRGHHHH!! [Akane's eyes quadruple at the okonomiyaki orgy (yes, we HAVE a title!) before her. She gapes, not quite sure how to react to it.] Ukyou : Hi, Akane... [a little spaced from constant orgasms] What's up? Ranma : [turning his head to look at Akane] Oh no! Shampoo : Yaaah! [The two try to hide behind Ukyou. They are not stupid.] Akane : Ranma... Shampoo... Ukyou... wha... [her eyes go back to normal, but she's still stunned.] Ukyou : It's a long story. [pats Shampoo and Ranma on the head.] [Akane stumbles backwards, plopping down skirt first on the nearest chair, which makes a squelching noise. She yeeps and hops up, noticing the okonomiyaki she just sat on.] Akane : Hey, that was my best skirt! My best underwear! [Shampoo and Ranma perk up, smelling the air. The lock targets on Akane, who's rubbing her messy rear end.] Ranma : Hmm. Yum. [Shampoo just grins evilly.] Ukyou : Oh dear. [Settles back and smiles, awaiting the onslaught.] [Outside, Cologne observes the mayhem indoors through a crack in the store's venetian blinds. She looks down at her shopping bag.] Cologne : I have a bad feeling I'll be needing more than two rings. Blast these children and their modern relationships. Just like that silly ESPer and his two girls... /\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/ THE END By Order of the Good Taste in Anime Department, No Pun Intended All characters are copyright Rumiko Takahashi and definitely NOT used with permission. Before you flame, realize this was meant for entertainment value only. Plus, if you decided to read _this_ far, why are you complaining? :)