Nerima Does Kodachi, Part One: Jailhouse Rock a Ranma 1/2 Lemon by 2SI Productions Ranma 1/2 concept and characters copyright Rumiko Takahashi Warning: this is a lemon fic, and the author is not responsible for any weird dreams, rises in temperature and blood pressure, or sudden need to change shorts. In other words, yes, there's gratuituous and graphic sex here, and if you're reading it it's probably because you enjoy it, which makes us both perverts. Long live the perverts! The cry of hunting predators echoed through the stillness of the night. No, this is not the Serengeti, and we're not doing a National Geographic special. It isn't the Amazon Basin, either. The Siberian steppe? The Alaskan tundra? Uh-uh. This is the Nerima district of Tokyo, and those cries are - "Nihao, Ranma! You come away China and marry Shampoo, yes?" "Oh ho ho ho ho! Ranma darling, how could you ever have allowed yourself to fall under the sway of that unsophisticated boorish unfeminine Akane? Fear not, my immortal beloved, for I, Kodachi, the Black Rose, shall rescue thee from thy bondage forthwith!" Let us not forget, of course, the cry of the hunted. It sounds, for all the world, thus; "Yaaaaahh!" Indeed it was a typical night in Nerima ever since the Saotomes had moved back in. A pigtailed youth in red Chinese shirt and baggy pantaloons was leaping from rooftop to rooftop, while in his wake bounced a perky purple-haired beauty - and people, we do mean bounced - and a little distance further back a sleek athletic figure propelled itself through the air in acrobatic dives and pirouettes, all the while twirling a long gymnast's ribbon and laughing the insane laugh that all knew and dreaded. For Ranma, however, there was something different this night. This night, he - and the Tendo family he had lived with for the past several years - were in extreme danger, if not in person then from the sheer material destruction that was sure to ensue. The last thing they needed now was to have to pay for apartment repairs for the whole district. Only yesterday, his brain and heart had finally made the proper connection to his mouth and he was able to tell Akane what he really felt. Oddly enough, she too had confessed the same feelings; now they were well and truly engaged. The problem was, those two girls following him were not only reality-perception-challenged, they were also two of the most determined women he had ever known. Already the duo had totally destroyed the Tendo dojo, and the way this pursuit was going, they were about to hit - yes - the brightly lit sign was unmistakable - Ucchan's. And indeed, she was already there and waiting, Kick-Ass SpatulaTM in hand and her long brown hair tied back for battle. Dear, sweet Ukyo would never let Shampoo's and Kodachi's treatment of her Ran-chan pass unchallenged on her turf. This is going to be bad, Ranma thought to himself. It was. The only mitigating factor had been the timely arrival of a full squadron of Tank PoliceTM, who arrived within minutes of the fight's beginning. In no time at all, and with the expenditure of only a few dozen gas rounds (and the odd HEAT shell or two), all the combatants were subdued and the two perpetrators hustled off to jail. **** Kodachi awoke to a throbbing headache. "Ooooh. Whr'm I?" She looked around. Small room. Sterile grey walls, but only three of them. Where the fourth should be were ... bars. Thick, solid steel bars that at other times would have given the Black Rose totally different ideas, but not when she was the one behind them. Why, this was ... this was ... this was intolerable! Never yet in the history of the proud samurai house of Kuno had any of the family ever been subjected to the indignity of being in jail. "Guards! Oho, guards! Release me this instant, or know the legal hell that the loyal litigation staff of the house of Kuno can bring upon your sorry heads! Open these doors, I say!" However, it was not the guards who answered. From behind her floated a familiar voice speaking fractured Japanese. "Crazy psycho girl be quiet! Shampoo head ache." Whaaat? Kodachi whirled. "So! The ramen wench!" She glowered at the prostrate Shampoo, who was lying on another wall-mounted cot and holding her hands to the sides of her head. She whirled again. "Guards! Is it not enough that you try to humiliate the Black Rose by placing her in gaol, must you put me in the same cell as an unwashed foreign barbarian peasant?" Her voice rose to a piercing shriek. "Shampoo say crazy psycho girl keep mouth shut!" Shampoo's eyes narrowed into the forbidding, yet unaccountably cute, Amazon Battle SquintTM. That rocked Kodachi to the very foundation of her being. "Oho! Have we fallen on such times that a mere peasant dares address a Kuno in such a manner?" Both girls began to do That Blue Aura ThingTM . **** Explosions rattled through the ravaged detention block. White-armored soldiers spun away as they were shot, while the roars of a huge hairy humanoid threatened to drown out even the cacophony of blaster fire. A tinny voice began shouting querulously out of the communications set, prompting one of the unhelmeted figures to pick up its microphone and babble nonsense into it - something about a thermonuclear meltdown, and being fine, and how are you? Needless to say, it took very little time to clear the area. Well, almost. **** Shampoo leaped back, panting hard. The gymnast had turned out to be a surprisingly fast opponent, and full of dirty tricks besides. For the first time in a very long while, Shampoo actually found herself on the defensive. She found herself in grudging admiration of her opponent; such grace, such superb suppleness! If only this crazy psycho girl had been a man ... "Oho, ramen wench, do you now acknowledge the superiority of the Black Rose over your sorry self?" taunted Kodachi, twirling the makeshift ribbon she had fashioned from a strip of torn blanket. Inspite of herself, however, her eyes traveled appreciatively over the Chinese Amazon's form. Bounteous where she herself was sleek and willowy, the body before her was nevertheless as close to athletic perfection as her own. She could not but gaze with pleasure at the heaving of the other girl's chest, the mounds beneath her clothing now made very prominent by her sweat and hard breathing. In that moment both girls were perfectly aware of the heat rising from their bodies, not all of which came from physical exertion. Shampoo caught her stare. "Aiyaa! What you looking at!" Just as she had expected, Kodachi was taken aback, presenting her with the perfect opening. Shampoo leaped to tackle her opponent. They crashed into the cot together, the Amazon on top. One of Shampoo's hands was on one of Kodachi's apple-like breasts, one of her thighs jammed hard up between the gymnast's. Kodachi, on her part, found her mouth deliciously close by Shampoo's ear. Hmm, for a peasant, she doesn't smell at all bad. Rather nice, in fact ... Aiyaaa! What this hot thing Shampoo feel between crazy psycho girl's legs? Kodachi saw her opening now and moved for it. She took Shampoo's earlobe between her moist lips, then stuck her tongue as far as she could down the ear itself. She was gratified to feel the Amazon's body suddenly stiffen and tremble, which caused the thigh jammed against her own sex to vibrate most gratifyingly. At the same time, Shampoo was kneading Kodachi's breast, and the beginnings of an idea were insinuating themselves into her shocked brain. Rrrrrrip! "What are you doing?" Kodachi yelped, aghast at the damage done her designer bodysuit. "Mmm," Shampoo replied with a naughty twinkle, as she applied herself to the creamy white flesh now revealed before her. Kodachi's nipples were an almost unbelievable pink, and currently very hard and verrrrry sensitive. A mere flick of the tongue had the other girl arching her back and moaning. But Shampoo did not content herself with mere flicks; she began to suck as though she were a Transylvanian native. "Ahhh ... oh! Oh! How dare you - oooh! - treat the Black Rose this way! Man or woman, I, Kodachi Kuno, must be always in control!" Shampoo's expression grew even more wicked. "That what you think." Quick as a flash she seized the makeshift ribbon from Kodachi's hand and mummy-tied the frantically squirming gymnast with it. "Now Shampoo give you taste of own medicine." "I think not! It is the place of a Kuno to be the master, not the - mrrrghrphh!" The sudden change in tone and usage was occasioned by Shampoo's gagging her. That done, the Amazon returned to shredding off the rest of Kodachi's clothes and feeling her up all over. Kodachi's eyes widened. All her life, she had imagined doing this - well, she had done it, but Sasuke didn't really count, did he? - to her darling Ranma. How she had hugged herself in anticipation of tying him up, totally immobilizing him, then slowly teasing him to near-madness with the touch of her body all over his own! In her fantasies, she had toyed with him for hours, tantalizing him now and then with the brush of a swollen breast, now with a kiss, now with a light, delicious spanking ... or maybe with the cat o' nine tails she kept hidden under her bed ... But now it was being done to her. And the really maddening part about it was, it was making her wetter than she had ever been in her life. When the Amazon's fingers started rubbing her down there, she had to draw her breath sharply and moan with helpless passion. And Shampoo, ever-competitive Shampoo, knew this was one fight she was going to win. Quickly she stripped off her own clothes and straddled Kodachi, making Kodachi even hornier as the other girl saw just how well developed the Amazon was. Shampoo hefted one of her own breasts up and offered it to Kodachi. "Kiss it," she demanded, tearing off the gag with her other hand. Kodachi complied. Gasping at the intensity of the sensation, Shampoo arched her own back and moaned. Beside herself with lust, Kodachi sucked harder. At the same time, however, her hands were busy trying to work free of her bonds. However, it was possible to concentrate on only one thing at a time, and when she slacked her attentions from Shampoo's breasts, Shampoo noticed. "Aiyaaa! Not nice psycho girl stop trying to get away! Bad! Shampoo must spank you now!" She slipped the gag back on. "Mmmmphhh! Mmmmmphhhhh!" Kodachi's eyes were wide as saucers as she writhed, whether in anticipation or dread even she herself did not know. "Bend over!" "NNNmmmmpph!" Smack! "Mph!" "You do as Shampoo say!" Smack! "Mmmmn!" Shampoo was alternately caressing and slapping her haunches now, and she could only whimper and raise her backside for more. The stinging sensation had given way to an incredible heat that seemed to penetrate to her very core. She wanted more of it, more, more, more! "Bad girl!" Smack! "Mnn-aaah!" The gag finally gave way to her frantic efforts to get rid of it. "Ohhh, yessss! Hit me again! Ohhhhh!" Shampoo had slipped a finger into her slit, causing her to lose all control and have the first in a chain of multiple orgasms. The sight of the sleek, supple body writhing in the throes of passion before her had not left Shampoo untouched. She felt as hot as Kodachi did, and her every nerve ached for release. Recklessly ripping off Kodachi's bonds, she dived on the gymnast avidly seeking her lips. They kissed fierily, hands roving, while seemingly of their own volition their hips ground together, found purchase, and locked, sex to dripping sex. Each was lost to the flood of sensations coursing through their almost-overloaded synapses. Moaning throatily, they ground against each other harder and harder, until at last there was one more burst of neural fireworks, brighter than any either had ever experienced before. It was a long time before Kodachi could open her eyes. When she did, she favored Shampoo with her crazed, lopsided grin. "Not bad, for a peasant." Shampoo stretched like a cat. "Ummmmm ... we not finished yet. Now your turn to tie me." **** ASAHI SHIMBUN, Tokyo Nearly half the police force of the Nerima district in Tokyo perished last night of a bizarre incident in the district jail. No coherent witnesses have yet been found to relate the true story, but initial reports indicate that two female martial artists were involved. According to the coroners, all of the casualties had died of terminal nosebleed. The End.