---------------------------------------------------------------- Kasumi's *Other* Little Secret by Chris Jones ---------------------------------------------------------------- Although it is not meant to infringe on his work, the title of this piece is stolen from Anthony Woo. Apologies all around. "Kasumi, do you mind if a I ask you a question?" Ranma asked sheepishly. Kasumi, who was cheerily hanging the wash, turned toward him as she pinned one of Nabiki's school uniforms to the line. "Of course, Ranma. What do you need?" "Well, I was wondering... Ummm... Er... Well I was thinking of when Pop and I used to have an apartment on the other side of town. It was when I learned the Neko-ken, and just before I met Ryouga. Pop didn't clean much. He was used to my mom cleanin' or just burnin' all the trash while we were camping. "Then I was thinkin about how much you do here, and how much me and Pop eat and--" "Why Ranma, are you offering to help me keep the house up?" Kasumi smiled calmly and hung up another school dress. "Well... I kinda feel guilty about how much Pop eats, and I haven't exactly been on a diet, myself. I don't keep a very tidy house, but I do know how to cook an' stuff." "Oh, Ranma. I couldn't let you do that." Ranma shook his head embarassedly. "Really, I should be contributing. Pop won't let me take students, and I really can't hold down a part time job with all the wackos around here." Kasumi shook her head. "Let me put it this way, Ranma. I don't *want* to let you do any of the cleaning or cooking." "Huh... Why not? I could help a bunch!" This wasn't going nearly like Ranma had planned. He felt like his honor was being stained by his and his father's freeloading on the Tendou's hospitality, and he really wanted to give something back. After the fiasco when he tried to attract students to the dojo, his father had strictly forbid him from taking more students until his own education was complete. "It's not that I don't appreciate help every once in a while, but I *like* to do all the cleaning and cooking." "I don't get it..." Kasumi smiled, and patted his shoulder. "Why don't you come with me, Ranma? I'd like to show you something." She took him around the far side of the dojo, to a storage shed built into the back of it. After a few seconds of searching, she pulled out a small canvas sack, and began to untie the cord. "What's that, Kasumi? Some Tendou family secret training scroll?" "You could say that, Ranma," She got the knot untied, and poured the contents of the bag out on the cement porch in front of the storage shed. Twenty-six blocks bearing the Roman letters of the alphabet stared up at Ranma benevolently. "Building blocks." "Yes, Ranma, building blocks. Why don't you stack them?" Ranma was about to walk off in disgust, when he caught a glimpse of the statement Kasumi was trying to make. Carefully, he built a simple pyramid shape out of the blocks. "I still don't get it, Kasumi." Kasumi roughly kicked the pyramid down. "Hey! What'd you do that for? Now I have to stack it up again!" "Exactly!" Kasumi began stacking the blocks into a much more complicated shape. "Didn't you feel a sense of acomplishment and satisfaction when you stacked the blocks up?" Ranma nodded. "But I don't mind having help stacking them back up." "Hmmm... "Kasumi rubbed her chin thoughtfully. "Let me try explaining another way. You enjoy martial arts, don't you?" Ranma nodded. "You'd rather do martial arts than almost anything." "Yeah..." "Has martial arts ever made you... excited?" "Well, I kinda get pumped when I do it. It's a great rush, ya know." Kasumi shook her head. "I meant excited as in... *aroused*." Ranma's cheeks turned bright red. "W-well, there was this one time me and Akane were sparring, and her gi came open, a-and she wasn't wearin' a shirt under it... or nothin'. Kasumi sighed and shook her head slightly. "It would be very nice if you and Akane would get along better, but you're still missing the point." She finished the intricate building block statue she had been building. "Have the martial arts *themselves* ever caused that same feeling." Ranma was about to answer when the evidence clicked together in his head. "You get *turned on* by cleaning?!?!" He was dense, not stupid. "Mmmm-hmmmmm!" Kasumi smiled at Ranma. It was less her usual 'everything's right with the world' smile and more like the smile Nabiki got when she made a great deal of money. It suddenly occured to him that Doctor Tofu might make the messes he did when Kasumi was around quite intentionally. Kasumi draped her arm around Ranma's shoulder. "You see why I don't mind every one tearing up the house all the time. You've been quite a joy to me, Ranma." Ranma was suddenly *very* uncomfortable in his situation. Still, something inside him wanted to push it. "So if I told you that I was going to do something that would probably tear up most of the house tonight...." Kasumi moaned under her breath. "Go on..." "Ryouga's p-chan." Kasumi nodded as if it were no surprise. She stared deep into his eyes. Deeper than Ranma was really prepared to deal with. "Why haven't you told Akane?" "I promised Ryouga I wouldn't give away his weakness before he started sleeping in Akane's bed. My... obligation to Akane is startin' to mean more than my obligation to Ryouga. I'm not gonna let him get away with lyin' and takin' advantage of MY fiancee!" Kasumi 'oohed'. "So you're going to tell Akane tonight." It was more of a statement than a question. Ranma only nodded. "And then, one or both or all three of us are gonna fight. I don't know how Akane's gonna take it, but Ryouga's definitely gonna want to kick my ass." Kasumi's eyes fluttered as her other arm reached around to embrace Ranma. "And I suppose you'd just *have* to defend yourself, wouldn't you?" "Umhmm. But you know how Akane gets when she's pissed. She'll go through the walls if she wants." Kasumi shuddered and pulled Ranma close to her body. "Mmmmmmm... And Ryouga uses that enery attack when he gets upset. The 'Shishi-Houkodan'?" "His 'Bakusai-Tenketsu' makes more of a mess." "Ah...!" Kasumi moaned in rapture. Her fists clenched behind Ranma's back. "And I might just have to tear up the place with a 'Hiryuu- Shouten-Ha' to make sure Ryouga didn't accidentally hurt Akane or anything. Makes a hell of a mess." "AHHHH!!! Ranma!" Ranma suddenly found himself in a crushing embrace, and Kasumi's lips plastered against his own. She screamed into his closed lips as her body shuddred and spasmed against his own. *Oh my Lord...* Ranma thought. *What did I just do?!?!* Kasumi's body slumped, and she leaned her head against Ranma's shoulder. Ranma shook nervously. "Oh, Ranma... You'd really do all that... for me?" Numbly, he nodded. "Does Akane... do this... too?" Kasumi smiled wearily. "Oh yes, we all do. I like cleaning. Nabiki likes playing with money, and Akane likes breaking things. We all get it from Mother I think. She built the dojo by hand, you know." Ranma shuddered, and tried to disentangle himself from his finacee's sister. "If you hurry," she said, "You might be able to get to Akane before she goes out with her friends." Ranma ran for the house. Kasumi smiled, straigtened her dress, and began to hang laundry again. It wasn't as good as cleaning, but in only a few hours, she would have all she could stand. "Oh, Ranma..." ---------------------------------------------------------------- * * * C. Jones http://www.furinkan.net