Disclaimer: Truth be told, I've become a slave to Ranma, not the other way around.
Ranma- I love that too! ^^

Warnings: Lemon. And lemon.
Ryoga- Don't forget the lemon...
Mousse- Oi, it's amazing how many lemons you're pounding out lately...
::Seiji and Touma tap their feet impatiently, glaring at the author.::
Ranma- Butt out, it's our turn!
Ping- Ooo, crossover idea!
::Seiji and Touma promptly run screaming from the room.::
 
 

Foul Play
 
 

"Stupid Mousse! Shampoo no marry you! Only Ranma!"

With an 'Aiee!' Mousse was pelted through the air, landing in a painful and haphazard lump in a dirty alleyway.

"Stupid Ranma..." Mousse ground out under his breath as he rubbed his sore head. Shampoo didn't have to hit him that hard. "I'll show him... I'll show all of them!" Settling his sore body into a quick jog, he ran off towards his new destination, a plan already formulating in his mind.

**********

'Heh heh heh...' Mousse chuckled to himself, giving himself a mental pat on the back for his ingenuity. 'You've really outdone yourself this time, Mousse, my boy. Ranma won't know what hit him!'

Hearing voices and footsteps downstairs, he settled himself more securely in his hiding space and waited, stifling his chuckles.

**********

"I don't know, Ranma... isn't this a little dangerous?"

"Nah, everyone's gone to that hot spring in the mountains- even that shriveled up old pervert. They won't be back for four days at the very least." Ranma sidled up to Ryoga, wrapping his arm around his waist. "There's plenty of time for recreation."

"Ha. Is that what you call it?"

"Yeah. What do you call it?"

"Full-time job."

Ranma pinched Ryoga's hip, earning a yelp and a playful cuff on his head.

"So!" Ranma said, clapping his hands with a devious light in his eyes. "Where shall we begin, Mr. P?"

"Don't call me that. I could use a bath." Without skipping a beat, Ryoga raced up the stairs, Ranma close on his heels.

"Hey, wait for me!"
 

**********

Ryoga and Ranma moaned in pleasure as they sank into the steaming bath.

"Nothing like a hot bath to relax..." Ryoga stretched and sank deeper, up to his chin.

"Yeah, but I want you all wound up." A wry grinned crossed Ranma's face as he waded over to his lover and sat in his lap. Laughing deep in his chest, Ryoga wound his arms around the other's waist and started nibbling a trail from his collar bones to his ear, then across his cheek bones to his lips. Fighting for dominance with their tongues coupled with the hot water, it wasn't long before they were out of breath and flushed.

"That's better." Ranma slid down between Ryoga's legs and toyed with first one nipple, then the other, biting and sucking playfully. Resting his hand atop Ranma's head, Ryoga moaned and unconsciously spread his legs wider to accommodate more of that delightful sucking.

Taking the hint, and being as generous as he was, Ranma moved his kisses lower down Ryoga's flat stomach, pausing to play with his navel. Knowing they had all weekend to play, Ranma decided that was enough teasing and quickly took all of Ryoga's shaft into his mouth, alternately sucking the length and nibbling the tip, sliding his tongue into the slit and sucking hard, drawing out more of the salty fluid.

Moaning loudly, Ryoga pulled Ranma up and settled him ontop of his lap. Reaching under as they engaged in another mind-blowing kiss, Ryoga inserted his fingers one at a time, stretching his lover until he squirmed on his lap. With one quick thrust, Ryoga was buried all the way in and swallowing his own groan as well as Ranma's. Adjusting quickly, Ranma lifted up and thrust back down, Ryoga's cock hitting that pleasurable bundle of nerves and tearing another groan from him.

The heat of the bath making their muscles relaxed and weak, they leisurely ground their hips together, Ryoga's hand on Ranma's length mimicking the slow pace. Breathy moans echoed off the walls as even their fatigue couldn't dampen the pleasure and their tempo increased. Water sloshed as Ryoga lifted his hips higher, one hand holding Ranma's hip and slamming him down harder and harder with each thrust. Throwing his head back, Ranma rocked and arched into the embrace, feeling the pressure building behind his balls.

Leaning forward and clutching at Ryoga's shoulders, Ranma came, nearly screaming the other's name. Ryoga grabbed his lover's butt firmly and held him down as his spasming muscles sent him over the edge as well, biting Ranma's neck. They stayed that way, gently rocking to the waves of orgasm pulsing through their bodies, until the now luke-warm water reawakened their numbed skin. Pulling apart, the two traded soft kisses as they got out and dried each other off. Ranma copped a feel, causing Ryoga to blush prettily.

"I always loved the way you look when you blush."

"Is that the only time you love the way I look?" Ryoga arched an eyebrow as he tied a towel around his slender waist. Ranma just shook his head with a grin, wrapped a towel around his own hips, and pinched that tempting behind as they left the bathroom.

"Don't be stupid."

"You're the one that's stupid."

"Am not."

"Are too."

"Am not!"

"Are too!"
 

**********
 

'What is taking that idiot so long?! It's already past 9!' Mousse grumbled to himself as he shifted feet impatiently. He'd heard two male voices then nothing. Then he heard Ryoga's name yelled. 'Don't they ever stop fighting?' Ranma he could handle, but Ryoga thrown into the mix was going to complicate things. Well, he'd just have to use the bottle of cold water he had to take care of that. Hearing both boy's voices at the door, he froze again and readied his weapons. 'Ranma Saotome, prepare to die!'
 

**********
 

Still blushing (and a little hard) Ryoga opened the door to Ranma's room, Ranma shutting it behind them as he entered. He made a move to turn on the light, but Ryoga's hand stopped him. Even in the dark, Ranma could see his erection and the lustful light in his eyes as he lead him over to his bedroll.

"All fours, Ranma."

"You're awfully big on that, aren't you?"

"Of course. I always loved the way you look when you're at my mercy."

"Aw shucks, Ryoga. Is that the only time you love the way I look?"

Pushing Ranma down onto the bedroll, Ryoga kneeled above him and brushed his nose and cheeks along his chest and stomach. Ranma gasped as Ryoga's hand creeped underneath the edge of the towel to grab his half-hard member, and began to stroke it languidly. Ranma moaned his named and arched into the touch, becoming fully aroused as Ryoga licked his inner thighs, just below the hem of the towel. Ranma pulled his legs up and wrapped them around Ryoga's shoulders.

Hearing a startled squawk from Ranma's closet, both boys froze like deer caught in headlights. After a few breaths and the sound of something moving around behind the closed door, they both stood rapidly, Ranma turning on the light and Ryoga pulling a few bandana's loose. Slowly, the two advanced on the door.
 

**********
 

"All fours, Ranma."

'N-nani?' Mousse tried to decipher the meaning of that command more fully. Why would they be fighting in Ranma's room, in bath towels? And now Ryoga was-

'Holy-' Clamping his hand over his mouth to prevent him from voicing his sentiments, he froze, now deathly afraid to make any movements, lest he be heard. His eyes wide and disbelieving, Mousse choked on a groan as Ranma moaned Ryoga's name. He guessed what was going on under the towel, and the thought almost caused him a nosebleed. This wasn't what he'd expected. Definitely not what he was expecting. Ranma had to be doing this on purpose- had known somehow of his plans. But no, he'd told no one, and Ryoga certainly wouldn't aid him in this matter.

Realizing he had to get out of there and fighting the rush of panic at the thought of being caught- or worse, having to watch the entire bizarre exchange, Mousse wracked his brain for an idea. An exclamation slipped past his fingers as Ranma wrapped his legs around Ryoga. Oh hell! This was not something he was ever ever supposed to see, and it was not fake. Cold terror swept over him as he realized he'd given himself away. Flailing for some way to escape, his fingers closed over something cold up his sleeve.
 

**********
 

Ranma nodded to Ryoga, who then quickly slid the door open, so fast clothes slid off their hangers and landed in a heap on the floor. Looking around cautiously and finding nothing, they looked at each other, smiling nervously.

"You sure Happosai went with them?"

Ranma nodded and exhaled loudly, his heart thrumming loudly in his ears. "Must have been a water pipe popping or something." Ryoga nodded, looking no more convinced than Ranma. Leaning down to pick up the few articles of clothing on the floor, Ranma hung them back up. Ryoga noticed something white fluttering down to the floor from the stack and bent over to pick it up.

Ranma watched him as Ryoga examined the white feather closely. Making eye contact, two perfectly evil smiles crossed their faces.

"Then again," Ryoga began after clearing his throat and leaning on the door. "It could be some sort of plan, or trick."

Ranma nodded, seemingly considering. "Yeah, like someone waiting to ambush me in my sleep."

"But Ranma," Ryoga faked innocence, his face giving him completely away. "Who would do such a sneaky, underhanded thing?"

"I don't know, Ryoga. Who would plan such an unfair attack? Very clever..."

"So that rules out Kuno."

"And Mikado has been away at a tournament."

"Tsubasa's backed off a great deal." Ryoga rubbed his chin, looking thoughtfully at the feather.

"Hmm... who else, who else, who else..." Shrugging, Ranma leaned into Ryoga's warm body, taking the feather and twirling it in his fingers. "Who else indeed." Ryoga lifted Ranma onto his shoulders.
 

**********
 

'Oh hell oh hell oh double hell!' Muumuu-chan pressed himself farther into the back corner of the shelf, hunkering down as far as he could. Maybe they wouldn't see him? Ah yes, good ol' Ranma! Leave it to him to come up with a plausible explanation- they'd just taken a bath, after all. He frowned (as well as a duck can frown) as Ryoga countered his idea.

'Oh for once just listen to him!' Something niggled in the back of his brain that they sounded awfully smug, and not so worried that they may have a prowler. He held his breath and waited for them to leave, mildly irritated that he hadn't even made the list of what Ranma obviously considered to be a worthy adversary. He stamped down the anger in favor of helpless huddling and wishing they'd leave.

He cracked open one eye to see if they'd gone yet.

Big blue eyes stared back at him.

Muumuu-chan let out a startled quack as Ranma grabbed him by his neck and pulled him off the shelf, holding the struggling duck between his body and Ryoga's.

"Look what I found! Surprise, surprise!"

"Hm. Must have been left by the people who lived here before!"

Muumuu gulped as well as he could as the two boys stared menacingly down at him. Ranma began to throttle him as Ryoga slammed the closet door shut, the sound of a few items falling off hangers muted behind it.

"Well, Mousse, did you enjoy the show?"

"Yeah, you pervert, were you going to stand there watching the whole time!?" Ryoga approached threateningly as Ranma continued to throttle the poor thing.

Finally relaxing his grip, Ranma looked over to Ryoga, then to the feather in his hand, then back to Ryoga.

"Why not give him a real show, koibito?" Ranma winked.

Catching on, (no one could say Ryoga was dense when it came to all things) Ryoga sauntered closer and draped himself over Ranma's shoulder, turning hooded eyes to the floundering water foul. "You know, I've heard feathers can be quite erotic."

"Ryoga!" Ranma looked at his lover with wide eyes. "Now why didn't I think of that!" He looked back at the duck, who seemed to look more like a beached fish at the moment. "You spoiled the fun, Muumuu-chan. But now, you can help with the entertainment instead of just watching." Muumuu-chan shook his head emphatically and tried valiantly to escape.

Ryoga helped Ranma lay down, maneuvering the outraged and mortified duck to sit unhappily next to Ranma's hip. Drawing his lover's legs closer to his chest, Ryoga removed both their towels and twiddled the feather for a moment before laying it along the length of Ranma's awakening shaft. Ranma closed his eyes and moaned as the feather danced all around his member, leaving no spot untouched, then moved lower to his sac. Unconsciously, Ranma squeezed Muumuu-chan tighter, although that wasn't the only reason his eyes were bulging out of his head.

Rolling over and tucking Muumuu-chan under his arm, Ranma lifted his rear into the air so the feather could light more easily over his sensitive balls and backside. As the feather ran up and down the cleft of his cheeks, Ranma not-quite-so-unconsciously pulled on Muumuu-chan's neck in mimic of a penis. Squawking and choking (and hurting- feathers don't like to be bent) Muumuu-chan struggled, even as Ranma moaned louder and pumped harder.

Ryoga ran the feather around Ranma's entrance and glanced up, chuckling. "He's turning blue, Ranma."

"Oh god, Ryoga, don't stop." Ranma, ignoring his lover, buried his face in Muumuu-chan's feathers and rocked his hips. The feather disappeared and Ranma, disappointed, looked over his shoulder, glaring at Ryoga. "I thought I told you not to stop..."

"Relax, Ranma. I don't want to go any further this way." He motioned to the nearly catatonic bird in Ranma's hand. "I don't know about you, but I think the eroticism of feathers ends with the whole duck."

"Yeah." Ranma admitted, sitting up. "That's just kinky." Ranma held tightly onto Mousse as Ryoga left the room. "You dirty bird you..." Muumuu-chan quacked once, looking pale (for a duck.)

Ryoga returned with a teakettle and poured extremely hot water over the duck. Sputtering, cursing, and pulling his bruised neck free to turn away, Mousse tried his damnedest to incite the earth to swallow him whole.

"Well, Mousse, what do you have to say for yourself, you dirty little pervert?" Mousse cast a withering glance over his shoulder to Ranma.

"Who are you calling a pervert, pervert?"

Ryoga cleared his throat. "And who is the voyeur here?"

Mousse stood up and clenched his fist right in front of Ryoga's face. "For your information, pig, I came here to fight Ranma, not suffer through you two making-" A shiver ran down his body, cutting him off. "I'm not the pervert here... I don't enjoy nor take part in that sort of thing!" He plopped down, crossing his arms with his back to the two naked occupants of the room.

Stealthily, Ranma slid up behind him and cupped his hand between Mousse's thighs. Turning blue and looking all around freaked out, Mousse leapt away, landing in a corner and holding his hands protectively over his groin.

"Doesn't feel like you weren't enjoying it to me." Ranma laughed and languidly, predatorily, crawled over to the cowering boy on his hands and knees, licking his lips.

"I don't- I'm not- I-I-I"

Ranma pounced and tore the fine white robe off Mousse's body, exposing his upper half to the chilly air. Nipples erect and positively irresistible, Ranma looked over his shoulder to Ryoga before launching himself again and latching onto one, not once hindered by the shrieks or the pushing hands.

Suddenly finding his hands pinned, Mousse looked up to find Ryoga towering over him, holding his wrists in an iron grip. Struggling all the more, Mousse was pulled to be bedroll by his arms (Ranma never once leaving off the delicious pink nub) and deposited to the floor. Before he could protest, Ryoga slanted his mouth over Mousse's.

Eyes falling half shut, Mousse moaned as the sensation of his tortured chest reached his brain. Quickly noticing what he was doing, he squeezed his eyes shut and struggled with all his might. Ranma pulled off, finally, and cupped Mousse's head in his hands, forcing him to look him in the eyes.

"Mousse, we're not going to force you."

"Yeah, we aren't pigs or anything..." Ryoga released his wrists and Mousse immediately scooted away, to the edge of the bedroll. "We just wanted-"

"To what!? Make me hate you more?! To make fun of me?!"

"Mousse, Mousse, Mousse!" Ranma waved his hands placatingly. "We weren't making fun of you!"

"Not the whole time, anyway." Ryoga muttered under his breath.

Ignoring him, Ranma continued. "And we don't want you to hate us. I mean, I don't hate you..."

Mousse looked at Ranma over the rim of his glasses, frowning. "I don't believe you."

He started to get up, but Ryoga caught his shoulders and pushed him back down. "And I don't hate you either. I think you're kinda... cute."

Unconvinced shock registered on his face for an instant before the scowl returned.

"Especially when you pout."

"I'm not pouting!" He shouted to Ranma, who also didn't look convinced.

"I mean," Ranma continued, ignoring all comments once again. "With a body like that, that smooth, silky voice, that beautiful hair and your pale skin..." Ranma moved closer, almost imperceptibly. "Your soft looking lips, big gray eyes, delicate features..." Close enough now, Ranma leaned in and kissed Mousse deeply, as Ryoga kissed softly along his neck.

"Be serious." Ryoga whispered between kisses. "If you didn't like this, even a little, would you still be here?" Getting a moan in response as Ranma slipped his tongue inside his mouth, Ryoga slid his hands down to rest just above his pants.

"Why..." Mousse breathed once Ranma had released his mouth. Licking along his jaw line, Ranma muttered something he couldn't quite make out. Once Ryoga slipped his hands into his pants and began fondling his thighs, he really didn't care.

"So soft." Ranma moaned.

"So sweet." Ryoga groaned.

"So horny." Ranma gasped.

"So overdressed." Ryoga tore off his pants.

Now as naked as the other two, they gazed appraisingly at his sex, jutting out proudly between his thighs. Blushing and closing his eyes, Mousse missed the cue Ranma gave Ryoga. Leaning down, Ranma began licking the base of Mousse's sex, deigning to get right to the point. Mousse cried out, arching his back, and Ryoga slipped his tongue into his mouth, bathing every inch of it. Ranma cupped his sac and sucked on the tip hard, drawing out moisture, and Mousse bucked, sliding more of himself into Ranma's hot, wet mouth.

Ranma happily swallowed as much as he could, maneuvering himself on his stomach to take him all the way in. Mousse moaned louder as Ryoga slipped one hand underneath him, massaging his rear. Pulling off his mouth, Ryoga kissed around the outline of Mousse's glasses before settling onto his earlobe.

Ranma increased the pressure on Mousse's cock as he felt the sac drawing closer to the heat of his body. Sucking hard, Ranma hummed and smiled around the organ as Mousse moaned brokenly to every movement made. With a few final thrusts of his hips, Mousse came, spilling his seed into Ranma's eager mouth and moaning even louder, leaning against Ryoga's solid body. Thighs still twitching and muscles weak, Mousse was moved onto his stomach without any protest.

Ranma pulled his hips into the air, sliding his tongue into his opening and letting his semen pour out of his mouth and into the opened ring of muscle. Mousse panted, sweating, as Ryoga slid down until Mousse's armpits rested on his hips, his hot breath rushing over his swollen organ, a few centimeters from his face. Adding a few fingers, Ranma spread Mousse wider. Mousse choked on his cry as Ryoga petted his hair.

"Mmm. Having fun, Ryoga?" Ranma asked as he knelt behind Mousse, resting his hands on his prostrate lover's hips. Ryoga nodded, wearing a face that said 'almost' as he guided Mousse's open and panting mouth to his weeping tip. Once the heat of his mouth closed over him and began to suck lightly, Ryoga buried his fingers in the raven locks.

"Oh... m-yes, lots of fun..." He broke off on another moan, arching into the mouth and gingerly brushing the fingers of one hand along the working jaw, while the other pulled gently on his hair.

Able to deny his own libido any longer, Ranma positioned himself at the opening of Mousse's upturned bottom. Unable to resist a spank, he did, and pushed the tip of his engorged shaft past the ring of relaxed muscle, reeling as it was squeezed tightly. Mousse whimpered and wiggled, only serving to milk Ranma. With another slap on that nice round ass, Ranma pushed all the way in, clutching at Mousse's struggling hips until he was buried completely, and Mousse stopped squirming (not that Ranma had minded.)

Another moan vibrated against Ryoga's tip, and he tried desperately to sink more of himself into Mousse's mouth. Mousse pulled back and off, much to Ryoga's dismay, and pushed his rear up higher as Ranma stroked something that made his blood sing. Ryoga guided his head back down, not as gently this time, and Mousse took in more, his current state making him more than generous. He slid down the throbbing shaft until the rim of his glasses were pressed against Ryoga's belly. Hearing an appreciative moan from above and receiving another wonderfully sexy feeling from behind, Mousse groaned, earning an even louder moan from above as fingers dug into his scalp, another clutching the back of his neck and pulling him closer still.

Ranma's breath came in short gasps, matching his quick strokes into the pliant body against him. Reaching around to Mousse's bobbing cock, Ranma stroked the same as he had his neck earlier, hard and fast. Ranma was determined to make the other come first.

Mousse's sucking increased, teeth coming into play very lightly, as his cock was pumped and pulled hard. His whole body rocked from the force of Ranma's thrusts, his neck bending back against the rhythm as Ryoga thrust into his mouth as well. Gasped pleas to deities from above him led him to believe he was doing a good job, so he sucked even harder, stars flashing behind his eyes as the cock thrust into his mouth faster and faster. Mousse wrapped his arms around Ryoga's waist, hair being pulled, throat being invaded, insides being spread and stabbed, and sobbed around the huge organ, swallowing the salty fluid quickly.

Feeling himself close to release, Ryoga squeezed Mousse's neck harder and doubled over, licking between his shoulder blades, occasionally biting the rippling muscles and sweat covered skin. Ranma pounded harder, straining to hold on a little longer as Mousse's muscles clamped spasmodically around his heated flesh. Ranma caught Ryoga's eyes, both sets dark with lust. Ryoga slammed his eyes shut, biting hard on Mousse's spine, as the heat in his groin was drawn out by Mousse's mouth. Rolling almost into a ball, Ryoga's body twitched and he clutched Mousse's ribs as he was milked. Mousse slid a long, slender finger down his crack and he yelled out, slamming his sex as deep as he could get it before freezing, loving the feel of the moist heat and the vibrations as Mousse sobbed again.

Out of breath and exhausted, Ryoga stayed put, reaching down to help Ranma jerk Mousse off. Ranma slipped a hand back to fondle Mousse's balls, and with a few short thrusts back against Ranma, his white seed shot out of him, coating the bed and two sets of hands. Mousse cried out around Ryoga's limp shaft as his cock was repeatedly twisted and pulled, pulling an amazing third orgasm from him. Tight ring now impossibly tighter, Ranma allowed himself to crash over the edge, and he spilled his hot semen deep into Mousse's shaking body, still thrusting wildly several times after his seed ceased to flow. He froze, leaning over Mousse's back to lock lips with Ryoga while Mousse's body clutched and milked him dry.

Feeling Mousse's body about to give way, both boys pulled out of him. Mouth now free, Mousse sobbed openly, tears stinging his eyes and landing on the pillow. Seeing their new mate so aggrieved, Ranma and Ryoga settled themselves on either side of him and laid close- Ryoga spooning him from behind and kissing his ear, Ranma positioned between Mousse's thighs and rubbing his cheek with the back of his hand.

"Did we hurt you?" It seemed a stupid question to Ryoga, and he'd wished immediately that he hadn't said it. But Mousse shook his head no, and tried to calm his breathing, swallowing huge gulps of air.

Ranma kissed along his forehead and rubbed their noses together. "What's wrong." Another negative shake of his head, and Mousse relaxed into their embraces, resting one hand on Ryoga's hip, the other on Ranma's shoulder. Managing a weak smile, he mouthed 'I'm fine' and closed his eyes, still trying to regain control over his body.

Ranma laughed and kissed him softly on the mouth, before meeting Ryoga's gaze. "I guess the two of us are a little much for a first time."

Ryoga puffed out his chest. "Yeah, well, I guess I was a mind-blowing lay..."

"You!?" Ranma growled playfully and poked Ryoga on his forehead. Mousse chuckled sleepily between them. "How great are you, if Mousse didn't even lose his glasses, huh?" Mousse laughed again and Ryoga clutched both of them tighter.

"What about you, huh? His knees never even left the floor!"

Mousse waved his hands, trying to calm his fit of giggles. "That-... that was the most... amazing..."

"Better stop now, Mousse-chan, before Ranma's ego inflates so much it can't fit in the same bed."

"Watch it, Mr. P, I know where you live."

"Good thing one of you does..."

"Mousse! I can't believe you're taking his side! And Ranma! Don't call me that!!"
 

**********
 

Mousse hummed as he worked his way around the kitchen with the ease of someone with many years of practice. Ranma juggled apples while Ryoga watched with mild interest as Mousse prepared breakfast. An apple hitting the back of his head drew Ryoga's glare.

"Sorry, man."

"Whatever, Ranma..."

"You know," Ranma slid off the counter and walked over to the other two, leaning against the counter, picking up a strawberry. "There are certain erotic aspects to strawberries."

"Oh, please, Ranma. You have some nasty fetishes." Ryoga rolled his eyes and popped a cherry into his mouth.

"So? What's so wrong with that? 'Course, it's not as much fun as it would be to fuck a duck..."

"Ranma..." Mousse warned, glaring over his glasses. "That's just kinky." He glared for a few more seconds, Ranma withering under the glare before Mousse brightened like the sun. "Besides, it'd be much more fun to stick a pig!"

"ARG, RANMA! Now look what you've done!"

"You just can't stand it that everyone takes my side!"

"They do not!"

"You're blushing..."

"Don't try to change the subject, Ranma!"

"I love the way you look when you blush..."

"I'll have to take Ranma's side on that one."

"ARGGG!!"
 

~~owari~~
 

AN:

Ping- I really wanted to add Kuno to the mix, but that seemed unlikely.
Ryoga- Like screwing a pig isn't...
::Mousse and Ranma ambush Ryoga::
Ping- Squeal, little piggy!! MWAHAHAHAHAA!!!