These characters are the property of Rumiko Takahashi and not me... not that that's going to keep me from using them or anything....

"Aloha, Keiki! Mebbe you know that a second-year wahine wen faintin’ in the bathroom from not eatin’ cause she on a starvation diet. I don’t want none of my keiki fallin’ down from not eatin’ so I got some new rule for all my kine! From now on, all da kine gotta finish alla dem lunches before leavin’ the school, udderwise you gettin’ da expulsion notice. And to make sure you don t’row none of it outta da window, I purchased em robotic spy birds ta guard da outside! And to make such you don t’row it in the garbage, I purchased em robotic spy rats ta guard da inside! So you keiki make sure you eat all your lunches now."

"Is he really serious?" a girl asked in disbelief as the intercom crackled and then fell silent. "The principal bought an army of robot animals just to make sure we eat our lunches? That’s crazy!"

"That’s Principal Kuno for you." Nabiki said, dexterously picking up the last few grains of rice with her chopsticks. "I wonder if that story about a girl fainting in the bathroom is actually true, or if he just made the entire story up as an excuse for more crazy rules?"

"Madman! He will not stop until he’s squandered all of the school’s money on these robot spies... The funding for the kendo club will be cut!" Kuno yowled, whipping out his sword and swinging it as if to cut his father down. "I shall slay that cur!"

"He’s probably hidden away in his secret bunker right now." Nabiki informed him, putting her bento box back into her desk. "I’m finished with MY lunch, and I suggest you finish yours before the robot death squad gets released."

"Hey, Nabiki," Kentaro, who sat behind her, said, "Since you’re finished, you want to take care of my peanut butter sandwich?" The smell of peanuts and Ken-sweat assaulted Nabiki’s nose as he reached around and thrust the sandwich in front of her.

"As much as the proximity of your armpit to my face piques my appetite, I’m afraid I’m on a diet. Eat it yourself."

"But I’m allergic to peanut butter. It makes me die."

"You’ll never know that for sure until you try it. Why’d you bring something you were allergic to?"

"My mom packed it. She’s always trying to kill me-- she’s a certified psychotic. We’d have her locked up but then who’d do the dishes?" Kentaro explained. "I usually throw these things away, but I can’t now with this new rule. Come on, you can eat one extra sandwich, can’t you? I’ve heard they’re really good."

"Sorry, but free food or not, I’m on a strict --"

"I’ll pay you."

"--peanut butter diet. Hand it over.... and the money too. How much do you have?"

"Er..." Kentaro said, dumping a couple of coins out of his wallet as Nabiki started in on the sandwich. "Just two hundred yen."

"I should have known." Nabiki sighed. "I suppose it’s worth eating a sandwich for. But why are you so broke?"

"I used to date you, remember?"

"Oh, right. I thought your wallet looked familiar." Nabiki paused in her chewing to spit out a syringe. "Thorough woman, your mother."

"Um, Nabiki?" Meiko asked, approaching her desk. "I’ve got a lot of green pepper slices here from my salad... I hate these things! I wonder if you’d eat them for me if I paid you."

"Five hundred yen in advance." Nabiki said quickly, accepting both the money and the handful of hated peppers.

Lunch was nearly over by the time the girl next to her leaned over and whispered in Nabiki’s ear, "Er... I brought a pretty big lunch today, and I’m just too stuffed to eat any more. How much to eat this?" She passed over a deep that was still almost half full of rice and sushi rolls. Nabiki felt pretty stuffed herself after the food she’d eaten on top of her regular lunch, but her hunger for money was still as ravenous as ever, and she couldn’t turn down the chance to make a quick buck, even if it involved a little discomfort. "One thousand yen." she appraised, figuring that sum would ease whatever hardships she put her digestive system through.

"Would you eat this cookie for a hundred yen? I’m trying to lose weight.."

"I hate this soup that my mom always makes. How much to drink it?"

"Mmmphmmph." Nabiki mmphed, her mouth full of rice. She scribbled out figures on a sheet of notebook paper. On one corner of her desk, the pile of coins and bills slowly grew as the rest of the surface was covered in unwanted food.

"Oooh... the things I do for money." Nabiki moaned to herself later that evening. She lay supine on her bed, unable to do much more than lie there feeling like a beached whale in her loosest jeans with the fly button open to accommodate her overfilled gut. The fermenting glop in her belly shifted slightly, and she released a thunderous belch. "Ugh," she grimaced, reaching for the bottle of Peptol Bismol by her bed. "I really should have turned down that last serving of natto." She took a generous swig from the bottle, a stream of pink liquid running down her cheek.

There was a delicate tap on the door. "Nabiki? Are you okay?" Kasumi’s voice called worriedly from outside. "Aren’t you coming for dinner? I made fried noodle salad with lots of grease..."

Please, don’t talk about food, Nabiki thought desperately, feeling herself starting to gag. I’m about to throw up! Aloud she reassured her sister "It’s... it’s fine! There’s nothing to worry about! Just a little.... stomach bug. I need some rest."

"Well, if you say so. Get some sleep, okay?" Kasumi moved off.

"Oh, boy, this is a great racket." Nabiki said when she was gone, half in congratulation to herself, half trying to convince herself it had been worth it. "I can do this every day... If I can boost my capacity somehow I can ever cover other classrooms.. set up a whole network. My wallet will be so stuffed with money it’ll burst--"

Her choice of words brought her condition back to the front of her mind, and another wave of indigestive nausea swept over her. Hastily she scooped up the bottle of Pepto and chugged several mouthfuls.

Okay, okay... think I’ll be okay, Nabiki comforted herself. And I know what will make me feel better... She pulled her wallet of the bedside stand and emptied it over her, a few coins bouncing off her drum-tight stomach amid the flutter of bills. Damn, I cleaned up today! She felt the coolness of the coins, the crispness of the paper money, raking them across her body with her hands as she gathered them into a pile on her stomach. God I love money, money, it’s so fantastic, and after all these years of petty scams it looks like I might really be on to something here... I’m going to be so rich, so rich.... She raised her left hand to her brow, where new drops of sweat were being adding to the sheen her indigestion has created, and drew one hand through her straight brown hair. With her right hand, she palmed a 100-yen piece, running a finger quickly over the serrations on the edge. Ah... Holding the coin in the right position for maximum effect she slipped the hand into her panties, finding no difficulty in fitting it in with her fly already open, and began to move it as though she was scratching of a lotto ticket. Oh... this currency is so hard... she thought. Ohhhhhhh yes..... compound my interest, over and over, ohhh!

"Someone’s mother brought cupcakes? Okay, I’ll take care of the extras during 3rd period passing time. Anything else you need done? Uh-huh... one lunch from someone who got sick, some carrots... I see. Have the 2000 yen really when I come by." She wrote the order on her notepad with a lot of others for all the other classrooms, and hung up her cell phone.

"Nabiki Tendo." It was Kuno, behind her. "Have you no more pictures of Akane Tendo or the pigtailed girl for me?"

"Sorry, Kuno baby, no time. I’ve found a better business."

"I’ve have noticed such. Your wallet has been growing fatter and fatter... and it is not the only one, I might point out. ’Twould take more than forty minutes to put a girdle around your waist... Up thirty pounds, am I correct?"

"Thirty-four, but who’s counting?" The roll of belly fat oozed over the elastic waistband of the slacks that were all she had left which fit her and peeped out from under her tee shirt. It was a good thing that the principal, for all his crazy rules, was fairly lenient about uniforms, or she’d have had to cough up for a new one after about a week of work at her newfound calling. Even with her exercise routine stepped up a notch in the morning (there was no way she could managed any more movement in the evenings than to stagger home, empty her bulging wallet into her rapidly filling strongbox, and flop down in front of the TV or with a book to let the slower process of digestion empty her stomach) she was gaining weight rapidly. Nabiki wasn’t particularly vain about her figure-- the only reason she had put always put such an effort into keeping slim was to attract boyfriends and their money, and she was making way more now than she had that way anyway. And curiously, some boys who had never responded to her come-ons before were now paying her a lot more attention-- even though all she did in school anymore was glut herself. Weird. She didn’t have the time to explore this phenomenon right now, though, since dating was off her schedule for the time being.

She shifted in her chair, plump buttocks sliding across the smooth wooden seat, and adjusted her slacks, pulling them up in the back.. a procedure that was quickly becoming habit as it became more and more often necessary. Maybe she wasn’t upset about gaining weight, but she was irked by the snickers of the other girls in her class, who all hated Nabiki anyway and were glad to see her start to pork out. Clothes shopping this weekend, for sure, she promised herself. If I can make it three days without bursting a seam. I’ll by some extra-baggy stuff, that way it’ll last a lot longer.

"I am." Kuno answered.

"Am what?" Nabiki said, confused.

"Am counting."

"Counting what?"

"The weight you gain!" Kuno said in irritation. "How long are you going to do this anyway? Until your desk collapses under your cowlike body?"

"Since when do YOU care how much I weigh? Kuno-baby worried his secret crushy-wushy Nabiki gonna get too fat for him?" she asked in a syrupy tone of voice... easy to achieve, as she was working her way through a stack of pancakes.

"I care nothing for you, you bloated shrew!" Kuno snapped. "I simply want to know when I can expect you to stop this and take more pictures of Akane Tendo and the pigtailed girl for me!"

"I don’t have time to take more... it would cut into my profits. Unless you’re willing to accept a rather large price increase... as in 10000 yen a set."

"That’s outrageous! I want new pictures at reasonable prices!"

"Why do you need new ones, what happened to the ones I already sold you? Get all sticky?"

Nabiki jumped in momentary shock as Kuno’s wooden bokken sword drove into her desk, impaling the half-eaten stack of pancakes. She looked up to see his face contorted with rage.

"How dare you suggest that I would commit such vileness against the images of two such pure and unsullied maidens!!" he shouted.

How’d she know?, a little voice in the back of his head asked."

"You could never understand the respect in which those two goddesses deserved to be enshrined... you would make your living taking advantage of their beauty by shamefully photographing them in secret..."

"Excuse me, but who BUYS those photographs?"

"You who would even stoop so low as to wait outside the window and take a photograph of your own sister pleasuring herself on her bed, then sell it for--"

"I never did such a thing!!"

"Really?" Kuno stopped to think. "Is that one of the ones I got from Gosunkugi....?"

"I don’t think I need to listen to you anymore. I’ve got cupcakes to eat." Nabiki stood up and stormed out of the room, as well as she could storm with the slight waddle she was developing anyway. How dare Kuno talk to his supplier like that! He’d be lucky if she didn’t cut off his supply of photographs altogether. It wasn’t just the issue of time, but another problem she hadn’t wanted to reveal to him that kept her from taking more pictures-- it was getting harder and harder for her to squeeze her constantly-bloated, ever-plumper body into the places she usually hid to take pictures.

Kuno watched her depart. The shrew! He would find a way to tame her!

"Yes," he chuckled, an idea forming in his mind "‘Thus I have polticly begun my reign, and ‘tis my hope to end successfully. My falcon now is full-gorged, and till she stoop must not be passing empty’...."

"Sit here, my darling."

Kuno guided her over to table, one hand on the slim small of her back.. Nabiki looked truly radiant this evening, slender form zipped snugly into the skin-tight dress. Dressed to kill. Though of course, she never killed her victims... they had to give her that much.

She couldn’t believe Kuno had asked her out. She’d always thought he hated her... she certainly hated him. But he had money, plenty of it, so if he wanted to take her to dinner why would she protest.

The waiter set a green salad and a plate of sushi rolls in front of her. Was that what she’d ordered? Had she ordered?

She looked again, and realized that the salad was a bowl of green US currency. Not only that, but the sushi rolls were, in fact, tightly rolled wads of thousand yen notes. She shrugged and started eating.

She finished course after course of the money-food. It was quite delicious actually, and Kuno kept summoning more waiters to bring new dishes. After several rolls of coins, a tasty gold brick, a spicy Pesos Con Carne, some rich German ‘Deutchmarks Und Hershenchoclencremunblaater’ and serving of Currants ‘N’ Currency, she was ready to call it a night.

"That was delicious, Kuno honey." she said, also feeling like she meant it. "I’m stuffed!"

"But the meal is just getting started." Kuno said, smiling evilly. "Garcon!"

To Nabiki’s growing horror, the money kept coming, in vast wads.... and she couldn’t stop eating. Her arms were beyond her control as she shoveled the food in wildly, growing fuller and fatter with every bite.

The seam of her dress ripped, no, the dress itself was shredded as Nabiki’s swollen body expanded. The heavy mass of metal in her stomach felt as though it would drag her down to the floor, made her feel as though she were a bulging sack of money ready to be tossed on an armored car.

Kuno somewhere far off, laughing maniacally. She tried to scream at him, in anger or in supplication-- she couldn’t tell, but the unceasing stream of cash into her belly cut off any noise she could make. Her distended body hung over the chair on all sides, and as she heard the creak of wood, she realized with chill horror that when the chair collapsed, the sudden impact on her ballooning body would cause her to burst like a water balloon. Eyes darting back and forth, she caught a glimpse of some of the boys she’d used to date across the room. "H-help!" She managed to gasp between bites. "I can’t stop!"

"Of course you can’t." Kuno intoned behind her. "You’ve always been a greedy pig, a glutton for money. No one feels sorry for someone like you.... someone who tramples on others to sate their own greed. No one’s going to help you, and now your greed will kill you..."

His voice faded as the chair gave way totally, and she fell...

Gasping with terror, Nabiki woke up. For a few seconds she fought with the covers until she realized where she was.

"Oh damn, oh damn..." she repeated, shivering with shock. Her arms wrapped around her body, fingers sinking into her soft sides. Soft and fat, not tight and distended. She wasn’t going to explode.

"That Kuno...." Him and his vague seething anger. Now she was having nightmares. She hadn’t had one in years, not since the period after her mother died.

Her eyes caught the clock radio. 6:20. Crap. She’d never get back into a really deep sleep now. She staggered to her feet and off to the backroom to empty out her overloaded digestive system. With that done, she started on her daily rummage for clothes that fit.

"Breakfast?" Kasumi asked her hopefully from the kitchen as she eventually emerged from her room in a pair of sweatpants and once-loose T-shirt. They were pretty slobby in comparison with her regular wardrobe, but she’d been able to squeeze into them and that was what counted-- even if her belly did bulge over the drawstring. Clothes shopping this afternoon, for sure. "No, thanks." Nabiki answered, hurrying out the door. Her stomach growled, the sound muffled by flab, but still quite audible. She was actually ravenous, as she was every morning, but there was no way she was wasting even a cubic centimeter on the space in her stomach on free eating, not when she had paying customers.

"I’m worried about Nabiki. She hasn’t eaten breakfast in weeks, and she hardly eats any dinner." Kasumi said worriedly. "If she doesn’t eat, she’ll starve!"

"Uhm, have you actually LOOKED at her lately, Kasumi?" Akane said. "She’s getting plenty to eat."

"Yeah, she’s completely outgrown all her clothes--she’s gonna have to start borrowing yours pretty soon, Akane." Ranma remarked.

There was a knock on the door. "Oh, I wonder who that could be?" Kasumi said cheerfully, stepping over the overturned table and Ranma’s unconscious body to answer it.

Morning was her usual routine. Hit the freshman classrooms first, taking whatever they had for her as well as the payment for it and eating it as she went. Then she swept the second-year classrooms, stopping in one after another. Grunting with the exertion, she hauled her large backpack, overflowing with food, up to her homeroom, where she would dispose of it throughout the day.

She set it down in relief next to her desk. A huge haul today-- and that wasn’t even including the carton of clam sauce she’d run out of room for and had to guzzle on the fly. You wouldn’t think that many people would bring food to school they didn’t like-- and there really weren’t that many, only two or three per classroom each day, but in a large school that handful per classroom added up into a huge pile of food.

And this was all getting thrown away before, too, she thought. What a waste! And I’ve still got to do the afternoon sweep and pick up whatever leftovers people couldn’t finish.

Fortunately for Nabiki, she was quick and clever enough and the teacher slow and stupid enough that she was easily able to dart her hand over and over into her backpack and conceal her eating behind a textbook. There was so much today that she had to shovel it in as fast as possible in order to be sure she finished in time for the afternoon’s eating.

By the time the lunch bell rang, when most students were hungry and eagerly awaiting their lunches, Nabiki was already stuffed to the gills. It was a lot today, she thought. A lot. The drawstring of her sweatpants was tight around her distended belly as she slouched in her chair, barely able to summon the strength to wipe the food off her mouth. She badly wanted to go to sleep, but she didn’t dare with all the money she had on her. Still, the day was warm and the massive lump of food inside her was making her very tired.

A thunk on her desk brought her out of her semi-slumber. She looked up just in time to see Kasumi standing in front of her.

"Hi, Nabiki!" her older sister said cheerfully. "Listen..." her voice became more concerned, "You haven’t been eating any breakfast for weeks now and barely any dinner... and now I find you not even eating any lunch! I’m very worried about you Nabiki... I thought you might not be eating. I made a nice big lunch for you, now I want you to eat it all up, okay?" Kasumi smiled at her kindly and gave her a quick wave before departing.

"Huh?" Nabiki asked, still drowsy. "I... Hey! Kasumi! Wait!" But it was too late, Kasumi was already gone. Nabiki looked done in dread at the bento her older sister had left on the table. A ‘nice big lunch’ was an understatement-- this was a super-deluxe, behemoth of a meal. The box was at least a foot square and five inches deep... and crammed with food. Mostly rice... a lot of rice... with a little smily face made out of sauce. They there was fruit and seafood, all neatly arranged and lovingly nestled in little compartments. How thoughtful... and how nauseating, at least to Nabiki at the moment. The sickening feeling in her stomach at the realization that she would have to consume this entire lunch was nothing compared to the horrific, soul-shattering fact that she would be doing it for free.

She leaned forward, wincing as the half-digested mass inside her sloshed around. For once in her life she felt unsure of herself as she surveyed the meal. It looked even bigger up close.

The sound of snickers from around the room steeled her resolve. It was her enemies, those bitches, just waiting to see her fail, and probably get weeks of detention from the insane principal for not finishing her lunch. She couldn’t let that happen... she’d show them there was nothing she couldn’t handle. After all, she had stretched out her stomach quite a lot recently... fitting in a little more shouldn’t be a problem.

She dug into the rice, shoveling it into her mouth quickly, trying to get her unwanted feast disposed of and done so she could faint into a nice coma for a few days. As she finished shoveling the first inch of food into her bulging cheeks, she gave up all hope of her usual afternoon business. By the time she hit the two-inch mark, the drawstring tied around her middle was so tight it was painful, but she worried that if she leaned back to undo it, she might not be able to sit up again. And so, strata by strata, she worked her way to the bottom of the bento container, until finally her chopsticks scraped the bottom without picking up a single grain of rice.

"I finished... I .... finished." She panted in triumph. She leaned back in her chair, almost lying done, and fumbled for the drawstring of her sweatpants to give her belly some much needed room. But it had been pulled so tight that the knot was hard as a rock, difficult to undo even if she had had all her presence of mind. She gave her stomach muscles the barest clench, causing the drawstring to simply pop. "Ahhh..." she sighed as a good portion of the pain was assuaged. She let out a tremendous burp, startling her classmates as if a gunshot had gone off and causing several of them to start whispering to each other. But she didn’t care about that, didn’t care who saw her slouched at her desk with her ragged sweatpants halfway around her ankles. She was FULL-- far too full to think about anything else but just lying here for at least a week. Kasumi and her ‘concern’... a lot of good that concern had done her. Nabiki resolved to have a serious talk with Kasumi as soon as she could get on her feet... which might be a while. She’d be sick for days now. She’d have to talk to her older sister about how she would be repaying all the money she would owe Nabiki in lost business. Maybe she had some savings squirreled away somewhere. Or she could always take on a second job. Or even take over the food disposal business for a while.

Yes, Nabiki thought, that’s it. Maybe I can even stay ‘sick’ a bit longer than necessary and work on slimming down a bit... I’m sure Kasumi won’t mind gaining some weight, not when I’ve explained to her how she made her poor little sister sick....

"Nabiki Tendo." It was Kuno’s voice.

"Kuno... go ‘way..." Nabiki grunted. Even talking was difficult, so shallow had her breathing become.

"But I have business for you."

"No more business today. Closed."

"Not even for good pay?"

"I’m too stuffed to eat another grain of rice, even for King Solomon’s Mines...."

Kuno whipped a wad of bills quickly under her nose. Her brown eyes snapped open abruptly and she stared up at her over the swollen tan-pink hill of her stomach at him. "That’s two hundred thousand yen!" she said in astonishment. "What on earth is worth--"

The swordsman held out a Tupperware container filled with a thick, viscous stew. "I brought a large lunch today, and just couldn’t finish this off, so..." It was a small container, merely a few cups full. Hardly anything compared to what she’d already crammed down. And for two hundred thousand....

".. No! I can’t!" she gasped. "Even for that much... I just can’t eat anymore!" She rocked back in forth in frustrated agony at having so much money within her reach and have to turn it down. When I get home I will KILL Kasumi, she wailed inwardly. That damn lunch of hers just cost me a fortune!!

"The great, greedy Nabiki Tendo turn down so much money for such a simple task?" Kuno asked. "To what is this world going."

"I’d burst if I ate anymore." Involuntarily, tears started forming in her eyes as the knowledge of the money she would lose tore at her heart. She never cried-- for real-- in front of anyone, and she’d hate for Kuno to be the first to see her do it, but she’d never been hurt like this in public before. "Tomorrow I could."

"This offer will not be repeated."

"You planned this didn’t you... somehow.... I didn’t think you were this smart. You’re enjoying torturing me--"

"Come on, it should only take you a minute to drink it down, and then think of all the money you’ll have." He pulled a particularly large denomination bill from the wad and traced it along Nabiki’s huge gut. She felt a thrill of arousal despite her near-comatose state. People will do just about anything for love, she rationalized. Why should I be any different, just because it’s not another person that I love?

"All right," she choked. "All right, give it to me, you fucking bastard--"

"Your calm business demeanor does you credit."

"Shut up." She reached up and grabbed the money in one hand and the container in the other. Lifting it to her lips, she drank, deeply, in surprisingly large gulps. The sound her respiratory and digestive systems made as she forced more liquid into them was horrific, like a dying giraffe, and her eyes started to cross almost immediately.

"Whoa..." Kentaro said. "Hey, hey Kuno... Kuno! She’s gonna kill herself! What if she really does burst? My god! I’m wearing a new shirt!"

"Don’t worry, I’m sure that won’t happen." Kuno said confidently. "I’m not a dummy... I can predict this kind of thing with 113% accuracy."

"Nabiki! Stop drinking!" Kentaro cried, slapping the container out of her hands. It fell the floor, empty-- she had drained every drop.

Every student in the class learned back, as if anticipating an explosion. They got one, of sorts. Nabiki let of a massive belch, one that put her earlier eructation to shame. It rattled the windows, and several tiles fell from the ceiling.

"Whoa." Kentaro said. "I’m glad I was BEHIND that..."

"Well... I certainly hope I’ve spoilt your appetite at least long enough for you to resume taking pictures of the lovely Akane and my pig-tailed goddess." Kuno said. "Maybe from now on you won’t be so greedy. You see, that ‘stew’ was actually -- He paused. "Nabiki? Are you listening to me?" She was staring straight ahead. He touched her face, and her head lolled to one side.

"Shouldn’t she be blinking?" Kentaro asked after a few minutes. "Or breathing or something?"

"Whoops." Kuno said.

Nabiki stood up. The classroom was in an uproar... crowds of students and even medical personel were gathered around her desk. "What, what’s everyone looking at?" she asked. She looked down.

"Oh...." she said in realization. "Oh, shit."

All the colors seemed wrong and getting wronger, and the voices were far away and getting farther.

"Can you get it out of her hand?" she heard one of the paramedics ask.

"No way... she’s got a death grip on that money, man." another remind. "Hand me the Jaws of Life, would yooooo...." The audio and video faded away and she was left floating in blackness.

Is this it?, she thought. I’d hate to spend eternity feeling like I swallowed a small car. And in these pants!

"NABIKI TENDO.", a voice boomed from the void. She would have jumped out of her skin had there been anywhere to jump to, or any skin to jump out of.. "WELCOME TO YOUR FINAL JUDGEMENT."

"I really stuffed myself to death, then?"

"NOT REALLY. EVEN ON AN EMPTY STOMACH, THE STEW WOULD HAVE KILLED YOU.."

"He poisoned it, then?"

"IN A MANNER OF SPEAKING. ACTUALLY, HE GOT IT FROM AKANE THIS MORNING.. SHE WAS QUITE HAPPY TO HAVE SOMEONE ACTUALLY ASK FOR HER COOKING."

"Are you... God? Or one of his affiliates?" Nabiki asked, wanting to change the subject.

"NO."

"Are you..... you’re not..." She gulped. "...Satan?"

"NO, BUT CLOSE. I AM SANTA!"

"Santa? As in Claus?"

"YES, LITTLE GIRL."

"Santa Claus is... is it? The almighty?"

"MY TRUE NATURE IS BEYOND YOUR COMPREHENSION, BUT ESSENTIALLY, YES."

"And all this time, people thought Christmas was getting less religious.... So what now?"

"WELL, NABIKI, I’M SORRY TO SAY I DON’T EVEN HAVE TO CHECK MY LIST TO KNOW THAT YOU HAVE BEEN VERY NAUGHTY. I HAVE NO CHOICE BUT TO SEND YOU BACK TO EARTH TO REDEEM YOURSELF. YOU WILL BE REINCARNATED IN A BODY AND CHARACTER SUITABLY IRONIC."

"What? What do you mean?"

"YOU WHO USED YOUR BODY AND GREAT INTELLECT TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF WEAKER-MINDED MALES, NOW BE REBORN INTO A LIFE IN WHICH EVERY WOMAN WILL HAVE THE SAME POWER OVER YOU THAT YOU ONCE WIELDED... HO HO HOOOOO!"

The vast laughter faded and the world lightened once more. There was a squeezing, wrenching feeling as her body contorted and she felt herself pulled but into life.

"It’s a boy!" she held a voice exclaim. She could see nothing.. it was as if her eyes were glued shut.

"A boy? But we were hoping for a girl!" a disappointed male voice exclaimed.

"Oh... I never should have had him!" a female voice exclaimed, the last thing Nabiki heard as the last of her former consciousness ebbed away.

THE END