From: LadyCailin@aol.com
Subject: [FFML] [C&C/MSTing] [Lemon] Shampoo & Ukyo: A Love Story

In a not to distant mailing list
Next Morning's Misery
There was this girl name Cailin
Not to Different from you or me

She wrote on the Fan Fic Mailing List
Just another just another girl with some bad fic
She did a good job spamming up the place
But the readers didn't like her so they shot her into space

We'll send her cheesy fan-fics
The worst we can find (la-la-la)
She'll have to sit and read them cuz the monitor is mine!

Now keep in mind Cailin can't control when the fics begin or end
She'll try to keep her sanity 
With the help of her Anime Friends

Anime Role Call:

Ryoko the Space Pirate: Brake out the Sake it's another fan-fic!

Dark Shinider: If I have to read one more of these I may kill somebody

Pantyhose Tarou: What did you call me?

Xellos: She promised me I'd get to do the lemons hehe ;)

If your wondering how she gets the nerve
And other useless facts
Just repeat to yourself it's just a fic
I should really just relax
For MSTing Anime Fanfiction 3000

    
[a small cast of characters from varying anime are lounging around Lady 
Cailin's small Domain o' Craziness. Lady Cailin suddenly gasps, her mouse 
clicking rapidly as she begins to grin]

Lady Cailin: I shouldn't. . .I KNOW I shouldn't. . .but. . .

[The Anime cast sweatdrops]

Ryoko: I knew it was gonna be one of those nights. I just knew it. [takes a 
swig from her very large sake bottle]
Pantyhose: How many times do I have to say I don't want to be a part of 
this?! 
Dark: Well at least it will be mildly interesting this time. Not like that 
last one.
[The entire cast shivers with the memory of their private screening of The 
Seppuku that Wasn't]
Xellos: Yay! It's a lemon! I knew I'd convert you one of these days Master 
Cailin!
Lady Cailin: [Angry] You didn't convert me! And do you have to call me Master?
Xellos: Oh but I like it when you play master Master Cailin [grin]
[The entire group sweatdrops, while Dark and Xellos both begin to send Cailin 
hentai looks]
Cailin: Errr. . .

> 
>  I do not own rights to Ranma 1/2, Rumiko Takahashi does,
>  she is the muse that inspires us all.  
>  
Ryoko: And wouldn't she just love to know how we've twisted that muse, doing 
nasty, unmentionable things to it!
Dark: Preferably involving chocolate and handcuffs.
Xellos: But I love lemons! They're so entertaining! And so very fun to be in!
Cailin:[whispering] Don't mind her, she's still upset about those fan boys 
who wrote a string of lemons where she and Ayeka had a secret affair and-
Ryoko: [eye twitching] I told you not to mention that.
Dark: When do we get to the good part?

>  This is a lesbian lemon, it is not meant to offend 
>  although no doubt it will. 

Cailin: We're not offended are we guys?
All: Noooo! 
Cailin: We just want well written lemons.
Ryoko: Ha! Sure, what ever you say.
Tarou: Get me out of here!

>  It is a one shot idea I had after 
>  reading my boyfriend's copy of Tenchi's Choice, which I 
>  believe was a very well written fic, but that is only my 
>  opinion.  This is for weirdphoenix.  Well, enjoy!
>  
>          
>              Shampoo And Ukyo:
>                   A Love Story
>  
>  It was a quiet day in Nerima, well quiet for Nerima anyway.  
>  Akane and Ranma were sparring in the Tendo Dojo, Kasumi 
>  was humming to herself while she fixed the evening's meal,
>  Panda Genma and Soun were at the Shogi board as usual, 
>  and Nibiki was out scamming someone for money. 

Cailin: We're not really sure who, as Nabiki was asking to much for 
information-
Ryoko: But we think it had something to do with Ranma, Kuno and bananas
Dark: Again, when the f#ck are we going to get to the good part
Xellos: Hehe. . .
>   Ukyo 
>  was closing up her restaurant and was cleaning the days grime 
>  off the grill, while two doors down Shampoo and Cologne were
>  cleaning up their pots while Mousse cleaned the floor.

Ryoko [In Shampoo Voice] Scrub duck boy! Scrub!
Xellos [Eyes wide and gleeful] Yes Mistress!
Ryoko: Err. . .
Cailin: [sigh] Xellos if your going to do that every time we poke fun-
Xellos: Poke fun?! Yay! I thought you'd never ask!
Dark: Stay away from me with that poker or I'll fry you fruitcake.
>  
>  Ukyo finished her cleaning and decided to take a break before 
>  going upstairs to her apartment to retire for the day.  Thinking
>  back on the day, she considered it a good day because Ranma
>  had come in.  

[The group notices Pantyhose Tarou slipping through the back door of the 
theater. Quickly subduing him with the use of a handy hot poker Xellos 
happened to have on hand, they continue to watch the text scroll by]

>  He rarely came in anymore since he had married
>  Akane, she was still amazed that he had chosen a woman so
>  violent when a sweet, gentle, and totally cute woman was his for
>  the asking.

Cailin: Urgh. End the sentence! End the sentence! Try period after Akane!
Ryoko: Oh please, like anyone reading this is going to notice a few run on 
sentences. 
Dark: Were we supposed to be actually critiquing this?
Tarou: The chains weren't necessary you know.
Cailin: Xellos's idea. You've been elected to keep our favorite Masoku 
entertained while we watch the rest of the fic. 
Tarou: Noooooo!
Xellos: Hehehe. . .
>  
>  She decided to go upstairs and clean up, but before that she had
>  this insane urge to masturbate.  

Ryoko: And don't we all sometimes? hehe
Dark:[serious] No. I much prefer the physical act to self abuse.
Ryoko: Oh.
Cailin: Why do you think I brought him? His charming personality?

>  Taking her clothes off her hands 

Cailin: Comma's are our friends.
Tarou [in background] AHHHHHhhhhhHHHH!

>  ran all over her supple body, her fingers lightly teasing her nipples.
>  She lay down on the bed and began to rub her little love button and

Ryoko: Heehee. . . 
Cailin: [snort] Love button
Ryoko: BWAHAHAHAH!
Xellos: [with a pair of pliers, electrical tape, and a fork in hands] Did 
someone say love button?

>  before long was squirming in orgasm.  She wished she had someone

Dark: How disappointing, I was hoping for a long description.
Cailin: [patting Dark's shoulder] I'm afraid theres nothing long or hard in 
this fic.
Ryoko: BWAHAHA!

>  to make love to, truthfully she wished it was Ranma's girl side.  With

Cailin: Why? I mean shouldn't there be some reasoning behind that? Why would 
she chase Ranma's boy side, pointing out lots of times that he was 'Twice the 
man than _insert male Ranma 1/2 character here_' if all the time she was 
really hot for his girl side? She didn't even know he had a girl side when 
she started chasing him!
Ryoko: It's a lemon. It's not supposed to make sense.
Cailin: [veins popping] But it SHOULD!
Dark: If we don't stop her she'll peal into one of those long speeches again.
Tarou: [in background] Nooooooo! Not the mice!

>  a sigh she got up and stepped into the shower, once out she felt 
>  much better.

Dark: You know Ukyou masturbating in the shower would have been a much better 
situation.
Cailin: Strangely enough, I gotta agree
Ryoko: Maybe we should check on Pantyhose, I just saw Xellos walk by with a 
poodle and a jar peanutbutter. . .
>  
>  Shampoo was tired from riding the bicycle of doom all over town making
>  deliveries for the Nekohaten, she decided to take a long soaking bath
>  while Cologne worked on some magic spells.
Ryoko: Double double boil and trouble
Cailin: Damn! We're all out of spices to keep Shampoo from humping the 
neighbors!
Dark: Haha.
Xellos: [With a startled looking poodle under his arm] Did someone say 
humping?
>  
>  Soaking in the tub gave Shampoo some needed time alone to think 
>  what she should do now that Ranma and Akane were married.  She 
>  couldn't return to her village because she was shamed, besides there
>  was nothing for her there anyway.  Just stupid Mousse, she wished 
>  he would go away because she would never love him, but yet he 
>  remained completely oblivious to this while utterly devoted to her.

Dark: Which made for many fun evenings in leather
Ryoko: Wow! Go dark, that almost hinted of a sense of humor
Cailin: Don't be fooled, he's probably just remembering a pleasant night with 
one of the thousands-
Dark: upon thousands-
Cailin: of women.
Ryoko: Thousands? Hmm. . . [grin]
>  
>  Shampoo got out of the tub and went to her room to go to sleep, but
>  sleep alluded her as she continued to ponder where her life was going.
>  There was nowhere for her to go, Nerima was home now, and with that
>  thought she drifted off to a restless slumber.
>  
>  The day began as all the others had began since "the day", both Ukyo
>  and Shampoo rose and readied themselves for the day.  Shampoo went

Cailin: Not THE DAY, just the day. Ya know. . .time after night.
Ryoko: I was wrong, they are gonna notice the run on sentences.
Dark: The choppy grammar is almost worse. 

>  down and found Mousse and Cologne in control of the restaurant and 
>  decided to go to the beach for awhile.  Ukyo was distracted because 
>  she hadn't slept well the night before and decided to get a little sun down
>  at the beach.
>  
Cailin: Well isn't that CONVENIENT! 
Ryoko: I'm afraid to say this, because knowing you it's just going to be 
turned into something disgusting but. . .it's gotten quiet back there.
Dark: Too quiet. . .
Cailin: Do we really want to find out why?
ALL: No! [All present turn back to watching the fic]

>  When Ukyo arrived at the beach she saw Shampoo and decided to go
>  and sit with her, she was the other fiancee' thrown over for Akane so they
>  should be friends Ukyo thought.

Cailin: Who the HECK is this girl and what has she done with dear Ucchan? 
What happened to amazon pride and Ukyou's jealousy?
Ryoko: It isn't about that.
Dark: It's about two hot anime chicks getting it on while rolling in the 
crashing waves on a hot summers day.
Xellos: Exactly
ALL: AHH!
>  
>  "Can I sit here?"  Ukyo said as she got her towel out to lie on.
>  
Cailin: [In Shampoo Voice] No, go away stupid spatula girl!

>  "Why you want to sit by Shampoo, stupid spatula girl?"  It was a 

Ryoko: Close but no cigar! Would the next contestant please step forward?
Xellos: I'LL play with you Miss Ryoko. . .
Ryoko:. . .Er
>  reflex now, but she wished she'd been able to hold her tongue.
>  
>  "Some company maybe, I don't know.  How are you Shampoo?"
>  
Cailin: [Snort] That isn't Ukyou! It's just a representation of the writer! 
This is all just her fantasy about getting it on with Shampoo and she 
couldn't write a lemon self insertion so she just slapped Ukyou's name in 
there!
Dark: Your point being. . .
Ryoko [With Xellos still making dopy eyes at her] Guys I'm scared. . .

>  "I'm fine, how are you?"  She was trying anyway.
>  
>  "Good."

Cailin:[Again in Shampoo voice] Enough small talk Spatula Girl! Is time to 
rip off cloths and bounce like many Bay Watch babes across sand!
Ryoko: You learn things in an female dominated society ya know.
Dark: Haha. . .
>  
>  They lay in the warm sand for awhile in silence just watching the others
>  on the beach, behind the sunglasses nobody could tell who the great
>  looking girls on the beach were looking at.

Cailin: And as they were both secretly porn stars, we know they were looking 
at EVERYBODY
Dark: Actually I think it's more likely they were just staring at eachother's 
jugs
Cailin: Yeah, but my way is more amusing.
>  
>  Ukyo was having a problem keeping her eyes off Shampoo's ample 
>  breasts, barely contained in her all too scimpy purple bikini, not to

Dark: Told you.
Cailin: Yeah, yeah.

>  mention that if the bottoms were any lower cut in the front you would
>  be able to see her pubic hair.  

Cailin: Yeah but the eternal question: Is it purple or is it blue?!
Ryoko: The world may never know.
Xellos: It's purple. [grin]
Cailin: How do YOU know.
Xellos: [grin] Now that is a secret!
Cailin: Never mind, I don't even want to know!

>  
>  'What am I doing??  I am staring at Shampoo's boobs and looking for
>  bush!!  Ukyo, you are losing your mind!!', Ukyo thought.

Cailin: I kinda thought that was a given.
Ryoko: Wait we're supposed to be basing this on a SANE Ukyo? 
Dark: Haha.
>  
>  Shampoo had been watching the hard bodies on the beach but found
>  that she could feel Ukyo staring at her, and was intrigued by it.
>  
Ryoko: Wait your telling me she's lived in a female dominated society all her 
life.
Dark: And she doesn't know why Ukyou's staring at her chest?
Both: Yeah right.

>  Finally Ukyo packed up her stuff to go, it was time to open Ucchan's
>  and besides, she was so wet looking at Shampoo she needed to do
>  something about it, like go home and get off.

Cailin: ON TSUBASA!
Ryoko: You know your getting waaay to into this.
Cailin: Oh yeah, well you were quiet there for awhile missy. Exactly what 
were you doin with Xellos back there?
Dark: What ever happened to that loud mouthed boy with the curls.
Cailin: Er. . .maybe it wasn't such a good idea to let Xellos play with my 
favorite anime character. . .
>  
>  "Time to go, gotta' open up.  Since Tsubasa left there is no one there
>  to do it for me.  See ya' later!", she hollered over her shoulder.  She was

Cailin: Except Kanatsu, but we all know how long it takes her to get her 
seems straight.
Xellos: Tell me about it, that can be such a pain in the morning.
All: .  . .

>  grateful to get away because her wetness would have shown very soon 
>  through her pale blue one piece swimsuit.
>  
>  Shampoo just smiled and waved to the retreating figure, calculating
>  what to do next.  Ukyo was pretty, though not as pretty as Shampoo,
>  she chuckled.  Her body was in imaculate shape and was well defined
>  with muscle, only fat in the right places.  Shampoo could not believe
>  what she was realizing, she was attracted sexually to Ukyo, and it was
>  apparently mutual.

Cailin: GOD D@MNIT! I'd believe magic potions! Pressure points! I'd even 
believe Cologne going insain and deciding that NO man was good enough for her 
granddaughter. . .but this! 
Ryoko: Just try to calm down, we know, we know. 
>  
>  Back at Ucchan's, Ukyo opened up with a smile on her face, fresh from
>  her self pleasuring.  She couldn't keep from smiling although she knew 
>  Shampoo wasn't interested in her, but Ukyo was in love and nothing was

Cailin: How does 'Hi Shampoo' go to sexual attraction to 'pleasuring herself' 
to love?!
Ryoko: I believe we've already covered the 'it's a lemon, it doesn't have to 
make sense' aspect.
Dark: Haha

                                {SNIP}
>  
>  They made love again, took a joint shower, then reopened their restaurant
>  for the dinner rush.
>  
>  
Cailin: An okay ending to a lemon I think needs to have a little more thought.
Xellos: Master Cailin! You cut out all the goood parts
Dark: Yeah, whats up with that?
Cailin: This ain't the Hentai Theater 3000.
Ryoko: Oh well. Hopefully next time it will be one of me and Tenchi!
Cailin: Nah, I might do that one with you and Ayeka though. . .
Ryoko: Xellos, can I borrow those pliers?. . .
Cailin: Hey that reminds me. . .whatever happened to Pantyhose?
>  
>  
>  Author's note:  There will be no more chapters of this fic, I just wanted 
to 
>  write one to see if I could do it.  You might have guessed that I am Sweet
>  Ryoko, I wrote this under Ryokosama so you could see how my style 
>  differs.  Tenchi's Choice was my first love but I recieved so many bad 
> replies 
>  I decided to kill that series and try my hand at a one shot lemon.  I want 
>  you to C&C this but there will be no more chapters.  


LadyCailin: Just on behalf of at least some of us here at Anime Theater, I'd 
like to make these points:
    A) Just because it's a lemon doesn't mean you get to write in your worst 
grammer/spelling/style possible. I know that when you write your first lemon 
your looking over your shoulder to make sure no one is watching and seeing 
what shocking things your writing-BUT thats no excuse for not skimming along 
for errors.
    B) Just because it's a lemon doesn't mean you should pull a story out of 
nowhere and push motives into characters that just wouldn't fit. As a fic 
writer your standards should be high no matter what your writing. I think 
this one needs some serious rethinking, and better motives from the 
characters. Yeah I know that sounds stupid in a lemon, but if you don't do 
that then you may as well just keep it to this:
    "Shampoo and Ukyou met oneday. They both realized the other was hot so 
they decided to f@ck.There was lots of hot naked sex with many toys and they 
all lived happily ever after." 
    Ain't real entertaining and it ain't gonna get my moter runnin. I hope 
this doesn't sound too harsh. It just seems like you threw this one together 
fast so people on the list would see a different side to your writing. 
    Speaking of: Don't worry about reactions to Tenchi's Choice. Not even the 
best writer among us can hope to create a story that everyone likes exactly 
as it is. Don't throw the story away just because it got bad reviews it's 
first time out. (If we all did that none of us would finish any of our fics). 
Ya just gotta keep rewriting and editing. Listen to the suggestions you like, 
trash the ones you don't. Like Scott Adams said: "Creativity is allowing 
oneself to make mistakes. Art is knowing which ones to keep." Hope some of 
this helped. Good luck on your next project!


                                                                Lady Cailin

"The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense."
- Tom Clancy

This MSTing was done without the permission of Ryokosama. Sorry Ryoko. And 
the begining squence was a rip off of kionon@hotmail.com (Kevin Callahan)'s 
MSTing of Gundam Wing: Dream Lover