Ranma Nibun no Ichi MST2K
Disclaimer, I dont own the legal rights to any Anime Series or the fan fics I am MSTing.
Deep in Washus lab Washu and Q are talking. | |
Q | So this is the new fic for them to watch? |
Washu | Yup. Can you can deliver it? |
Q | Ok :: and disappears in a flash of light :: |
Q | Heres today fic. Psionic Ranma Prolouge :: Q disappears in a flash of light :: |
Kasumi | Oh my! |
Mr. Tendo | Come on, it cant be that bad |
Akane | Its written by someone named Lemon Otaku |
Everyone | NOOOO! |
Disclaimer: I dont own Ranma ½, Sailor Moon, or Dragon Ball. They belong to their respective owners. This will be a lemon fanfic. If you are under the age of 18 then do not read this, even though I started reading lemons at about age 14. The prologue takes place prior to Ranma ½ and will not be a crossover. This is an alternate universe fanfic that takes place prior to the Dragon Ball series when Master Roshi was in training. Most of this fanfic takes place after the Jusendo and failed marriage part of Ranma ½ and after the end of Sailor Stars series. This will not contain Master Roshi or any of the Z fighters, only Korin, Kami, and Popo. I dont have the views towards women that is expressed in this fanfic, hell, I have three sisters, if I did have the views Id be dead right now instead of writing this fanfic
Ryoga | 3 Series and a lemon |
Genma | The writer sounds like a pervert. |
Nabiki | Ok, he says I dont have the views towards women that is expressed in this fanfic Ok so he is writing about something he does not believe in. Why is he writing it then. |
Dr. Tofu | On some level he has to agree with what he is writing. Otherwise he would not write it. Fiction or not you cannot write about something you do not agree about. The only times writers do is when they create a adversary. |
Send flames to Bite_Me@Nelson.com
Tom Servo | HEY! Thats my quote! |
Ryoga | Tom, this is Ranma Nibun no Ichi MST2K. MST3K is in Studio B. This is Studio A |
Tom Servo | Oops, well Ill be off |
Send positive comments/suggestions to Ranma@Habiki.com
Ranma | Does anyone have any positive comments or suggestions? |
Everyone | :: Dead Quiet :: |
Prologue:
Its another quiet morning just three days after the failed wedding attempt.
WHAT THE HELL!!! HAPPOSAI YOU ARE DEAD!!!! Ranma screams.
Ranma | Fan fic starter #3002. |
Happosai | Off to a bad start. |
Well, it was another quiet morning . Ranma-chan chases after Happosai wearing only her boxers and a bra.
Happosai | Hubba Hubba. |
Everyone | Get off the screen you old fool. |
Whats wrong Ranma my boy, dont like the bra I chose for you last night? inquires Happosai.
Ranma rips off the bra and storms up to his room where she puts on his usual Chinese outfit. She then sneaks up to the attic and grabs Happosais collection of bras and panties. She rushes back downstairs to the backyard where she quickly starts a fire. After the fire has built up a little Ranma starts tossing Happosais collection into the fire.
Ranma | He actually got a bra on me? |
Happosai | Wow! |
Ranma | Why would I want the freaks collection? |
Happosai | My Collection! |
RANMA!!!! HOW DARE YOU TREAT YOUR MASTER WITH SUCH DISRESPECT!!!! bellows the shrunken pervert.
Happosai | Go get him! |
Everyone | Sit Down you old freak! |
You aint my master you demented freak. Ranma retorts.
Ranma | Uh When did that happen? |
Happosai | I guess during in the 2 seconds the author blacked out. |
Ranma, you must apologize to the master, you know what he does when he gets angry. pleads Soun.
I aint ever apologizing to that lecher. Ranma retorts.
Happosai then starts his reign of terror on the Tendo Dojo by punching holes in the rice paper and writing on Soun and Genma. This continues until Kasumi brings in supper which causes Happosai to sit down and eat, leaving everyone in peace. After dinner Happosai goes out on one of his raids to replace what Ranma destroyed.
Finally, I though the old geezer would never leave. Ranma mutters as he sneaks up to the attic to search for some scrolls that may help him defeat Happosai once and for all. While searching through the scrolls Ranma finds one detailing how to cure someone of the Neko-ken and another detailing where to find a tower with mystic water that quadruples the drinkers strength and speed. Ranma considered it an added bonus that the tower was on the far side of Jusendo valley. Ranma tucks the scrolls into his shirt and sneaks back down to his room where he packs everything hell need for the training journey.
Ranma | Why would I search for scrolls? |
Happosai | Why would I keep scrolls in the attic? |
Soun | We have an attic? |
Everyone | Theres a cure for the Neko-ken? |
Ryoga | Who moved Korins Tower? |
The next morning at breakfast Happosai still hadnt returned from his raid so Ranma decided it was time to inform every one of his plans and then leave. The reaction was what he had come to expect.
Happosai | Why aint I back yet? |
Ranma mboy, you do your father proud. blustered Genma.
Indeed Ranma you do our schools proud with your actions. reinforced Soun.
Ranma, you better return so you can pay me the money you owe me. Nabiki stated flatly, causing Ranma to scowl at her.
Oh my, I do hope youll be careful Kasumi airily stated.
Akane, arent you going to wish your fiancée luck? inquired Soun.
Humph, the baka is probably just sneaking off to avoid fighting Happosai snorted Akane, causing Ranma to scowl.
Ryoga | Wait, isnt this after the failed wedding attempt? |
Akane | Why am I calling him a baka? I love him, I tried to marry him. |
Ranma just picks up his back pack and leaves the dojo. He runs for about eight hours until he reaches the Sea of Japan where he sets up camp. Once his tent is set up and he has a fire going he pulls out his journal. He slowly flips through it and reads a few of the entries he wrote in the past.
Ranma | I ran for 8 hours straight? |
Happosi | Not being chased by half of Nerima? |
Ranma | I kept a journal? |
Genma | My son kept a journal? I thought those alligators ate it? |
Ranma | No, that was our dinner for that day. |
Genma | Oh. |
Training Journey Day 1
Pops, mom and I are going on a training trip today. The old fool thinks the only thing thats important is martial arts so Im gonna have to keep this journal secret. Mom walked the entire eight hours with a vibrator in her pussy because she wasnt ready to go when pops was. I think he was going easy on her because he didnt feel like carrying her when shes bound and were traveling. Pops says that Im gonna be the best martial artist ever.
Nodoka | Why would I go on a training trip so Ranma could become a Man among Men? |
Ranma | Mom wasnt there. |
Genma | Nodoka wasnt there. |
Nodoka | Why would Genma do that? |
Genma | Why would I do that? |
Ranma | I was a baby. How could I have written a journal? |
Nodoka | Wait a minute, I dont use Vibrators |
Nodoka | And I dont let my husband tie me up |
Genma | Why would I try to tie her up? |
Genma | What is this? |
Akane | Happosai, are you Lemon Otaku? |
Happosai | I aint that bad! |
Heh, Pops sure knew exactly how to treat the cunt. Ranma chuckles.
Everyone | What is going on? |
Training Journey Year 3 Month 9 Day 27
I cant believe the old fool actually managed to teach me the Neko-ken last week. Hes had mom walking everywhere with only tennis shoes on because she argued with him about whether I should be trained in it or not. While I agree that it was a dumb idea she should know her place. Women are not meant to argue with men, they are meant to do as they are told or be punished. While the Neko-ken training cant ordinarily be used in a fight, I am a lot faster and stronger than before I started it and I seem to heal a lot faster as well. The only drawback to Pops punishment of the slut is that its hard to focus on Kendo when your teacher is naked in front of you.
Ranma | Why I aint mad at the old fool for the Neko-ken training? It aint useful at all! |
Nodoka | Why would I go on a training trip so Ranma could become a Man among Men? |
Ranma | Mom wasnt there. |
Genma | Nodoka wasnt there. |
Nodoka | Why would Genma do that? |
Genma | Why would I do that? |
Nodoka | Women are not meant to argue with men, they are meant to do as they are told or be punished. Who wrote this? Someone who was dumped by every woman on the planet and is getting revenge? I am not kind of women, I am a Martial Artist, why would I let Genma do that? |
Genma | Why would I do that to the woman I love? |
Well, she deserved what she got mutters Ranma.
Everyone | Who wrote this? |
Training Journey Year 7 Month 11 Day 15
Today pops had me do strength and speed training, but it was hard to concentrate on it. The day started out with mom burning the food again so pops had her strip down to her panties and the he shoved a large vibrator into her cunt. After that he tied her up and told me that I would be carrying her today and that wed have to move at our usual pace. Do you know how hard it is to run while you are carrying a bound, nearly naked slut? Very, let me tell you.
Ranma | Mom wasnt there. |
Genma | Nodoka wasnt there. |
Nodoka | Why would Genma do that? |
Genma | Why would I do that? |
Nabiki | Vibrators are a pleasure toy, why is the author making them for punishment? |
Nabiki | Hmmm, does the author have a problem with being replaced? Must not be that good in bed |
Nodoka | I am a gourmet chef |
Genma | Youve never burnt dinner, you are the best cook :: A small tear comes out of his eye |
Ranma | Did the author watch any Ranma Nibun no Ichi? |
Training Journey Year 9 Month 10 Day 30
Pops sent the bitch home today, he actually gave into signing a contract that stated Id become a man amongst men or be banished from the Saotome clan. In exchange she is only allowed to wear clothes when she goes shopping and she has to keep the house clean at all times. Pops sent her home because shed just slow us down when we swim to China for the last leg of our training journey.
Genma | That didnt happen |
Ranma | That wasnt the agreement |
Nodoka | Who wrote this garbage? |
Genma | The agreement was if Ranma did not become a man among men we would die. |
Ranma | When did I agree to that? |
Nabiki | Must be when we were all asleep one day. |
Nodoka | In exchange she is only allowed to wear clothes when she goes shopping and she has to keep the house clean at all times. |
Genma | I thought you kept the house clean all the time, without a contract. |
Nodoka | I have to have a contract to wear clothes? |
Training Journey Year 10 Month 1 Day 15
Im going to kill pops!!! Not only does he get me cursed to turn into a weak little slut, but he tells me I have a fiancée. He says that I have to treat her kindly and not punish her when she fucking deserves it, and that we have to tell the Tendos that the contract was that I commit Seppuku and thats why mom isnt with us. Oh well, who knows, maybe the dumb slut fiancée will know her place and be a looker to boot.
Genma | Finally, the moron author mentions Seppuku. |
Ranma | I get turned into a slut? |
Nabiki | News to me Saotome. |
Akane | Hey! I am not a dumb slut fiancée and neither is my fiancée. |
Boy was I ever wrong, shes got a great bod, but Akane definitely doesnt know her place Ranma sighs. He pulls out a pen, turns to a blank page and starts writing.
Ranma | Who wrote this, that aint me! |
Genma | Ok, this is the worst fan fic I ever watched! |
Everyone | Tell me when its over. |
Akane | doesnt know her place I know my place, apparently the author dont know his |
Training Journey 2 Day 1
Boy was I wrong two years ago. Akane, while a looker, is a total bitch who really needs to be put in her place. She may be my fiancée and a looker, but she constantly beats me over the head with that damned mallet of hers. On top of that I have two other fiancées, Ukyo and Xiam Pu. Ukyo, who I had thought was a boy, when not in drag is a real fox, but she needs her battle spatula shoved up her pussy. She has no respect for her superiors whatsoever. Xiam Pu is another looker, shes got great knockers, but shes got her head screwed on backwards. She thinks that men should take orders from women, when its supposed to be the other way around. In addition to my fiancées there are Akanes older sisters, Nabiki and Kasumi. Nabiki, the Ice Queen of Furinken, needs a good ass raping. Shes constantly selling pictures of my girl side and extorting money from me. Kasumi on the other hand is so oblivious that she wouldnt notice if the house collapsed around her fucking ears. If she would try she could probably stop the whole mess, but she doesnt know her place enough to tell her sisters to treat their betters with more respect. How I would love to teach them all a lesson about how to treat their betters, but I have to keep my promise to Pops.
Ranma | Hey! I am not a pervert. That Ranma aint me! |
Ukyo | Ranchan wouldnt even think of doing that to me. Would you Ranchan? |
Ranma | Nope. |
Xiam Pu | Aiyaa, pervert author die! |
Nabiki | Ass raping? Saotome |
Ranma | THAT AINT ME, I WOULD NEVER DO THAT! |
Genma | :: Splash, starts playing with his tire :: |
Kasumi | HEY! I have talked to Akane. But its fathers place to do that. I am not their mother. |
Kasumi | I would notice the house collapsing around me. After all how would I get dinner made. |
Nabiki | Now if the neighbors house collapsed |
Soun | :: Starts crying :: |
Ranma closes his journal and packs it back up before heading into his tent for some sleep. The next morning Ranma makes himself breakfast before starting his swim across the Sea of Japan. Once he arrives in China he decides to rest up for the next day. He again pulls out his journal and writes in it.
Training Journey 2 Day 2
Even without the sluts I still have several rivals to deal with. The easiest to get rid of is the Kunos, Kodachi and Tatewaki. All Id really have to do is get them sent to an insane asylum not that hard considering everyone in Narima knows theyre loony. Ryoga, Mouse, and Pops would be slightly harder. With Ryoga all Id have to do is provide him with some Nyaniichuan and tell him that in order to get it he has to leave me alone. Moose would work pretty much the same way, some Nyaniichuan and a little convincing and hes out of my hair for good. With Pops I also provide Nyaniichuan and tell him that Ive tried it his way, and it doesnt work. Hopefully I can pick up the Nyaniichuan when I reach Jusendo tomorrow and finally cure my damn curse. One or two of those damned amazons have been following me since I passed their village; I guess Ill have to deal with them soon.
Ranma | Sluts? I never call anyone a Slut. |
Kuno | I am not insane, I am the Blue Thunder of Fur |
Ranma knocks out Kuno, again. | |
Ranma | Finally the baka author got something right. The Kunos belong in a insane asylum. |
Akane | The only thing he got so far. |
Ryoga | This author doesnt know me very well. |
Moose | I will never leave my darling Xiam Pu. I would reather die than :: Splash :: Quack, Quack, Quack |
Genma | Holds up a sign Who wrote this garbage? |
Ranma sighs as he shuts his journal and once again packs it away. He stretches for a few minutes before doing some katas and practicing the Katchuu Tenshin Amaguriken. After a few hours of practice he climbs into his tent and falls asleep.
The next morning he packs up his tent and sleeping gear and heads carefully towards Jusendo. Hes on constant lookout for any sign of the Musk, the Amazons, or the Phoenix people. After several hours of traveling he finally reaches Jusenkyo, the Valley of Cursed Springs. He carefully makes his way to the guides little hut, making sure not to fall into one of the many springs dotting the area.
Ranma | Yeah, I know what happens if you fall in one of those springs |
Ah, young mister customer has returned. States the elderly guide.
Genma | :: Holds up a Sign saying Customers? :: |
Yeah, listen, I was wondering if I could get four bottles of Nyaniichuan. Ranma enquires.
Nabiki | For free |
I be honored to get you bottles young customer, Jusenkyo must mean for you to be cured now, or would not allow young customer back. replies the Jusenkyo Guide.
Thank-you sir. Ranma formally replies.
Ranma | If it was that easy, why didnt me and pop stay and fix our curses? |
Genma | :: Holds up a sign Hmm |
The guide takes four bottles from Ranma and carefully goes to Nyaniichuan where he fills all four. Once all four are filled the guide carefully puts stoppers in the top of each bottle and heads back to where Ranma is standing. He hands all four bottles to Ranma who puts three of them carefully inside his backpack and opens one. He pours the entire contents of the bottle on himself.
Finally I am free of that curse. Ranma elates, Would you mind if I stayed the night here?
Ranma | Why didnt I think of that? |
Genma | :: Holds up a sign Why didnt I think of that? :: |
Ryoga | I was just following Ranma |
No, young mister customer would honor this guide if he stayed for the night. replies the guide.
So Ranma and the Jusenkyo guide head into the house and drink tea while chatting about Jusenkyo and its many springs. After a few hours both Ranma and the guide retire for the night. The next morning they have a quick breakfast before Ranma heads off once again. Ranma travels for several hours before stopping for the night about twenty miles away from Phoenix Mountain. He sets up camp and builds a fire. He spends about an hour practicing his Art before sitting down on a convenient log and pulling out the leather bound journal.
Ranma | Practicing his Art.. Ok so now I am a artist? |
Ryoga | Yeah, but you dont want to see the picture he is drawing |
Everyone | Ewwww |
Training Journey 2 Day 3
Well, I am almost there. I should reach Korins Tower tomorrow evening. I understand that the top is almost ten miles up, and that the water is about halfway up. I have finally cured myself of my curse and have enough water to cure Ryoga, Mouse, and Pops, provided they agree with my demands. For some reason Ive been getting strange feelings from people around me since saving that slut Akane from the Phoenix god Saffron. It almost seems like Im sensing their emotions and thoughts, but that is impossible. Oh well, it doesnt seem to be harmful so Ill ignore it for now.
Ranma | Man, is this fic almost over? |
Akane | I think so. |
Nabiki | So all of a sudden For some reason Ive been getting strange feelings from people around me since saving that slut Akane from the Phoenix god Saffron. It almost seems like Im sensing their emotions and thoughts, And Saotome did not think of mentioning this earlier? |
Ranma | Am I that dense? |
Ukyo | Plot Hole |
With
that final thought on paper Ranma repacks his journal and goes to sleep inside
his tent. The next morning he wakes feeling refreshed and happy. He starts
running farther from Phoenix Mountain and at about half way through the day sees Korins
Tower is about fifty miles away. He speeds up and gets to the base in about
three hours. He decides that he had better rest for the night before heading up
for the Sacred Water.
Ryoga | Again, who moved Korins Tower? |
End prologue
Well, this is my first official fanfic that I am posting. I hope you like it. I dont
know a whole lot about Dragon Ball so Im relying on information Im getting
from a friend. Please keep in mind that this world is not the one in which the
Dragon Ball series takes place in so Korins Tower is not necessarily in the
same place. Im trying to make this fic be a case of Ranma gets revenge on the
girls, but at the same time have him not be the bad guy. I know that most
people would say that Ranma wouldnt get revenge in the manner Im going to
have him get it in, but I ask you to remember two things; first, Genma and
Nodoka have a Dom/sub relationship, and Ranma is used to seeing women as slaves
to men. Second, Ranma is way too nice in the anime series, the way I figure it
is that there has got to be a reason for it, and this is my explanation. For
those of you wondering about the title and the allusion I used in the last
journal entry, they never said what if any affect Jusendos water had on him,
and hes the first normal human to have been in both the hot and cold water. I
also welcome people MSTing this Prologue and the chapters that will follow. I
am planning on eventually making this crossover with Sailor Moon mostly so that
Setsuna learns that some prophecies are self fulfilling. Well, thats all I
have to say for now, Lemon Otaku signing off
Ranma | Revenge, but not be evil. So far he is very evil. |
Nabiki | Revenge on only the Female cast |
Nodoka | Genma and Nodoka have a Dom/sub relationship when did that happen? |
Ukyo | Setsuna learns that some prophecies are self fulfilling So the author is writing about himself |
Xiam Pu | Interesting |
Happosai | He is more evil than me. |
Everyone | We are MSTing it you sick pervert! |
Ranma | I hope there aint another chapter. |