Ranma Nibun no Ichi MST2K

Disclaimer, I don’t own the legal rights to any Anime Series or the fan fics I am MSTing.

Deep in Washu’s lab Washu and Q are talking.
QSo this is the new fic for them to watch?
WashuYup.  Can you can deliver it?
QOk :: and disappears in a flash of light ::
 
QHere’s today fic.  Psionic Ranma Prolouge :: Q disappears in a flash of light ::
KasumiOh my!
Mr. TendoCome on, it cant be that bad
AkaneIts written by someone named Lemon Otaku
EveryoneNOOOO!

Disclaimer: I don’t own Ranma ½, Sailor Moon, or Dragon Ball. They belong to their respective owners. This will be a lemon fanfic. If you are under the age of 18 then do not read this, even though I started reading lemons at about age 14. The prologue takes place prior to Ranma ½ and will not be a crossover. This is an alternate universe fanfic that takes place prior to the Dragon Ball series when Master Roshi was in training. Most of this fanfic takes place after the Jusendo and failed marriage part of Ranma ½ and after the end of Sailor Stars series. This will not contain Master Roshi or any of the Z fighters, only Korin, Kami, and Popo. I don’t have the views towards women that is expressed in this fanfic, hell, I have three sisters, if I did have the views I’d be dead right now instead of writing this fanfic…

Ryoga3 Series and a lemon…
GenmaThe writer sounds like a pervert.
NabikiOk, he says “I don’t have the views towards women that is expressed in this fanfic…”  Ok so he is writing about something he does not believe in.  Why is he writing it then.
Dr. TofuOn some level he has to agree with what he is writing.  Otherwise he would not write it.  Fiction or not you cannot write about something you do not agree about.  The only times writers do is when they create a adversary.

Send flames to Bite_Me@Nelson.com

Tom ServoHEY!  That’s my quote!
RyogaTom, this is Ranma Nibun no Ichi MST2K.  MST3K is in Studio B.  This is Studio A
Tom ServoOops, well I’ll be off

Send positive comments/suggestions to Ranma@Habiki.com

RanmaDoes anyone have any positive comments or suggestions?
Everyone:: Dead Quiet ::

Prologue:

It’s another quiet morning just three day’s after the failed wedding attempt.

“WHAT THE HELL!!! HAPPOSAI YOU ARE DEAD!!!!” Ranma screams.

RanmaFan fic starter #3002.
HapposaiOff to a bad start.

Well, it was another quiet morning…. Ranma-chan chases after Happosai wearing only her boxers and a bra.

HapposaiHubba Hubba.
EveryoneGet off the screen you old fool.

“What’s wrong Ranma my boy, don’t like the bra I chose for you last night?” inquires Happosai.

Ranma rips off the bra and storms up to his room where she puts on his usual Chinese outfit. She then sneaks up to the attic and grabs Happosai’s collection of bras and panties. She rushes back downstairs to the backyard where she quickly starts a fire. After the fire has built up a little Ranma starts tossing Happosai’s collection into the fire.

RanmaHe actually got a bra on me?
HapposaiWow!
RanmaWhy would I want the freaks collection?
HapposaiMy Collection!

“RANMA!!!! HOW DARE YOU TREAT YOUR MASTER WITH SUCH DISRESPECT!!!!” bellows the shrunken pervert.

HapposaiGo get him!
EveryoneSit Down you old freak!

“You ain’t my master you demented freak.” Ranma retorts.

RanmaUh… When did that happen?
HapposaiI guess during in the 2 seconds the author blacked out.

“Ranma, you must apologize to the master, you know what he does when he gets angry.” pleads Soun.

“I ain’t ever apologizing to that lecher.” Ranma retorts.

Happosai then starts his reign of terror on the Tendo Dojo by punching holes in the rice paper and writing on Soun and Genma. This continues until Kasumi brings in supper which causes Happosai to sit down and eat, leaving everyone in peace. After dinner Happosai goes out on one of his raids to replace what Ranma destroyed.

“Finally, I though the old geezer would never leave.” Ranma mutters as he sneaks up to the attic to search for some scrolls that may help him defeat Happosai once and for all. While searching through the scrolls Ranma finds one detailing how to cure someone of the Neko-ken and another detailing where to find a tower with mystic water that quadruples the drinker’s strength and speed. Ranma considered it an added bonus that the tower was on the far side of Jusendo valley. Ranma tucks the scrolls into his shirt and sneaks back down to his room where he packs everything he’ll need for the training journey.

RanmaWhy would I search for scrolls?
HapposaiWhy would I keep scrolls in the attic?
SounWe have an attic?
EveryoneThere’s a cure for the Neko-ken?
RyogaWho moved Korin’s Tower?

The next morning at breakfast Happosai still hadn’t returned from his raid so Ranma decided it was time to inform every one of his plans and then leave. The reaction was what he had come to expect.

HapposaiWhy aint I back yet?

“Ranma m’boy, you do your father proud.” blustered Genma.

“Indeed Ranma you do our schools proud with your actions.” reinforced Soun.

“Ranma, you better return so you can pay me the money you owe me.” Nabiki stated flatly, causing Ranma to scowl at her.

“Oh my, I do hope you’ll be careful” Kasumi airily stated.

“Akane, aren’t you going to wish your fiancée luck?” inquired Soun.

“Humph, the baka is probably just sneaking off to avoid fighting Happosai” snorted Akane, causing Ranma to scowl.

RyogaWait, isn’t this after the failed wedding attempt?
AkaneWhy am I calling him a baka?  I love him, I tried to marry him.

Ranma just picks up his back pack and leaves the dojo. He runs for about eight hours until he reaches the Sea of Japan where he sets up camp. Once his tent is set up and he has a fire going he pulls out his journal. He slowly flips through it and reads a few of the entries he wrote in the past.

RanmaI ran for 8 hours straight?
HapposiNot being chased by half of Nerima?
RanmaI kept a journal?
GenmaMy son kept a journal?  I thought those alligators ate it?
RanmaNo, that was our dinner for that day.
GenmaOh.


Training Journey Day 1

Pops, mom and I are going on a training trip today. The old fool thinks the only thing that’s important is martial arts so I’m gonna have to keep this journal secret. Mom walked the entire eight hours with a vibrator in her pussy because she wasn’t ready to go when pops was. I think he was going easy on her because he didn’t feel like carrying her when she’s bound and we’re traveling. Pops says that I’m gonna be the best martial artist ever.

NodokaWhy would I go on a training trip so Ranma could become a Man among Men?
RanmaMom wasn’t there.
GenmaNodoka wasn’t there.
NodokaWhy would Genma do that?
GenmaWhy would I do that?
RanmaI was a baby.  How could I have written a journal?
NodokaWait a minute, I don’t use Vibrators
NodokaAnd I don’t let my husband tie me up
GenmaWhy would I try to tie her up?
GenmaWhat is this?
AkaneHapposai, are you Lemon Otaku?
HapposaiI aint that bad!

“Heh, Pops sure knew exactly how to treat the cunt.” Ranma chuckles.

EveryoneWhat is going on?


Training Journey Year 3 Month 9 Day 27

I can’t believe the old fool actually managed to teach me the Neko-ken last week. He’s had mom walking everywhere with only tennis shoes on because she argued with him about whether I should be trained in it or not. While I agree that it was a dumb idea she should know her place. Women are not meant to argue with men, they are meant to do as they are told or be punished. While the Neko-ken training can’t ordinarily be used in a fight, I am a lot faster and stronger than before I started it and I seem to heal a lot faster as well. The only drawback to Pops punishment of the slut is that it’s hard to focus on Kendo when your teacher is naked in front of you.

RanmaWhy I aint mad at the old fool for the Neko-ken training?  It aint useful at all!
NodokaWhy would I go on a training trip so Ranma could become a Man among Men?
RanmaMom wasn’t there.
GenmaNodoka wasn’t there.
NodokaWhy would Genma do that?
GenmaWhy would I do that?
Nodoka“Women are not meant to argue with men, they are meant to do as they are told or be punished.”  Who wrote this?  Someone who was dumped by every woman on the planet and is getting revenge?  I am not kind of women, I am a Martial Artist, why would I let Genma do that?
GenmaWhy would I do that to the woman I love?

“Well, she deserved what she got…” mutters Ranma.

EveryoneWho wrote this?


Training Journey Year 7 Month 11 Day 15

Today pops had me do strength and speed training, but it was hard to concentrate on it. The day started out with mom burning the food again so pops had her strip down to her panties and the he shoved a large vibrator into her cunt. After that he tied her up and told me that I would be carrying her today and that we’d have to move at our usual pace. Do you know how “hard” it is to run while you are carrying a bound, nearly naked slut? Very, let me tell you.

RanmaMom wasn’t there.
GenmaNodoka wasn’t there.
NodokaWhy would Genma do that?
GenmaWhy would I do that?
NabikiVibrators are a pleasure toy, why is the author making them for punishment?
NabikiHmmm, does the author have a problem with being replaced?  Must not be that good in bed…
NodokaI am a gourmet chef…
GenmaYou’ve never burnt dinner, you are the best cook :: A small tear comes out of his eye
RanmaDid the author watch any Ranma Nibun no Ichi?


Training Journey Year 9 Month 10 Day 30

Pops sent the bitch home today, he actually gave into signing a contract that stated I’d become a man amongst men or be banished from the Saotome clan. In exchange she is only allowed to wear clothes when she goes shopping and she has to keep the house clean at all times. Pops sent her home because she’d just slow us down when we swim to China for the last leg of our training journey.

GenmaThat didn’t happen
RanmaThat wasn’t the agreement
NodokaWho wrote this garbage?
GenmaThe agreement was if Ranma did not become a man among men we would die.
RanmaWhen did I agree to that?
NabikiMust be when we were all asleep one day.
Nodoka“In exchange she is only allowed to wear clothes when she goes shopping and she has to keep the house clean at all times.”
GenmaI thought you kept the house clean all the time, without a contract.
NodokaI have to have a contract to wear clothes?


Training Journey Year 10 Month 1 Day 15

I’m going to kill pops!!! Not only does he get me cursed to turn into a weak little slut, but he tells me I have a fiancée. He says that I have to treat her kindly and not punish her when she fucking deserves it, and that we have to tell the Tendo’s that the contract was that I commit Seppuku and that’s why mom isn’t with us. Oh well, who knows, maybe the dumb slut fiancée will know her place and be a looker to boot.

GenmaFinally, the moron author mentions Seppuku.
RanmaI get turned into a slut?
NabikiNews to me Saotome.
AkaneHey!  I am not a dumb slut fiancée and neither is my fiancée.

“Boy was I ever wrong, she’s got a great bod, but Akane definitely doesn’t know her place…” Ranma sighs. He pulls out a pen, turns to a blank page and starts writing.

RanmaWho wrote this, that aint me!
GenmaOk, this is the worst fan fic I ever watched!
EveryoneTell me when its over.
Akane“doesn’t know her place…”  I know my place, apparently the author don’t know his…


Training Journey 2 Day 1

Boy was I wrong two years ago. Akane, while a looker, is a total bitch who really needs to be put in her place. She may be my fiancée and a looker, but she constantly beats me over the head with that damned mallet of hers. On top of that I have two other fiancées, Ukyo and Xiam Pu. Ukyo, who I had thought was a boy, when not in drag is a real fox, but she needs her battle spatula shoved up her pussy. She has no respect for her superiors whatsoever. Xiam Pu is another looker, she’s got great knockers, but she’s got her head screwed on backwards. She thinks that men should take orders from women, when it’s supposed to be the other way around. In addition to my fiancées there are Akane’s older sisters, Nabiki and Kasumi. Nabiki, the Ice Queen of Furinken, needs a good ass raping. She’s constantly selling pictures of my girl side and extorting money from me. Kasumi on the other hand is so oblivious that she wouldn’t notice if the house collapsed around her fucking ears. If she would try she could probably stop the whole mess, but she doesn’t know her place enough to tell her sisters to treat their betters with more respect. How I would love to teach them all a lesson about how to treat their betters, but I have to keep my promise to Pops.

RanmaHey!  I am not a pervert.  That Ranma aint me!
UkyoRanchan wouldn’t even think of doing that to me.  Would you Ranchan?
RanmaNope.
Xiam PuAiyaa, pervert author die!
NabikiAss raping? Saotome…
RanmaTHAT AINT ME, I WOULD NEVER DO THAT!
Genma:: Splash, starts playing with his tire ::
KasumiHEY!  I have talked to Akane.  But its fathers place to do that.  I am not their mother.
KasumiI would notice the house collapsing around me.  After all how would I get dinner made.
NabikiNow if the neighbors house collapsed…
Soun:: Starts crying ::

Ranma closes his journal and packs it back up before heading into his tent for some sleep. The next morning Ranma makes himself breakfast before starting his swim across the Sea of Japan. Once he arrives in China he decides to rest up for the next day. He again pulls out his journal and writes in it.


Training Journey 2 Day 2

Even without the sluts I still have several rivals to deal with. The easiest to get rid of is the Kunos’, Kodachi and Tatewaki. All I’d really have to do is get them sent to an insane asylum not that hard considering everyone in Narima knows they’re loony. Ryoga, Mouse, and Pops would be slightly harder. With Ryoga all I’d have to do is provide him with some Nyaniichuan and tell him that in order to get it he has to leave me alone. Moose would work pretty much the same way, some Nyaniichuan and a little convincing and he’s out of my hair for good. With Pops I also provide Nyaniichuan and tell him that I’ve tried it his way, and it doesn’t work. Hopefully I can pick up the Nyaniichuan when I reach Jusendo tomorrow and finally cure my damn curse.  One or two of those damned amazons have been following me since I passed their village; I guess I’ll have to deal with them soon.

RanmaSluts?  I never call anyone a Slut.
KunoI am not insane, I am the Blue Thunder of Fur…
Ranma knocks out Kuno, again.
RanmaFinally the baka author got something right.  The Kunos’ belong in a insane asylum.
AkaneThe only thing he got so far.
RyogaThis author doesn’t know me very well.
MooseI will never leave my darling Xiam Pu.  I would reather die than :: Splash :: Quack, Quack, Quack…
GenmaHolds up a sign “Who wrote this garbage?”

Ranma sighs as he shuts his journal and once again packs it away. He stretches for a few minutes before doing some kata’s and practicing the Katchuu Tenshin Amaguriken. After a few hours of practice he climbs into his tent and falls asleep.

The next morning he packs up his tent and sleeping gear and heads carefully towards Jusendo. He’s on constant lookout for any sign of the Musk, the Amazons, or the Phoenix people. After several hours of traveling he finally reaches Jusenkyo, the Valley of Cursed Springs. He carefully makes his way to the guides little hut, making sure not to fall into one of the many springs dotting the area.

RanmaYeah, I know what happens if you fall in one of those springs…

“Ah, young mister customer has returned.” States the elderly guide.

Genma:: Holds up a Sign saying “Customers?” ::

“Yeah, listen, I was wondering if I could get four bottles of Nyaniichuan.” Ranma enquires.

NabikiFor free…

“I be honored to get you bottles young customer, Jusenkyo must mean for you to be cured now, or would not allow young customer back.” replies the Jusenkyo Guide.

“Thank-you sir.” Ranma formally replies.

RanmaIf it was that easy, why didn’t me and pop stay and fix our curses?
Genma:: Holds up a sign “Hmm”

The guide takes four bottles from Ranma and carefully goes to Nyaniichuan where he fills all four. Once all four are filled the guide carefully puts stoppers in the top of each bottle and heads back to where Ranma is standing. He hands all four bottles to Ranma who puts three of them carefully inside his backpack and opens one. He pours the entire contents of the bottle on himself.

“Finally I am free of that curse.” Ranma elates, “Would you mind if I stayed the night here?”

RanmaWhy didn’t I think of that?
Genma:: Holds up a sign “Why didn’t I think of that?” ::
RyogaI was just following Ranma…

“No, young mister customer would honor this guide if he stayed for the night.” replies the guide.

So Ranma and the Jusenkyo guide head into the house and drink tea while chatting about Jusenkyo and its many springs. After a few hours both Ranma and the guide retire for the night. The next morning they have a quick breakfast before Ranma heads off once again. Ranma travels for several hours before stopping for the night about twenty miles away from Phoenix Mountain. He sets up camp and builds a fire. He spends about an hour practicing his Art before sitting down on a convenient log and pulling out the leather bound journal.

Ranma“Practicing his Art..”  Ok so now I am a artist?
RyogaYeah, but you don’t want to see the picture he is drawing…
EveryoneEwwww


Training Journey 2 Day 3

Well, I am almost there. I should reach Korin’s Tower tomorrow evening. I understand that the top is almost ten miles up, and that the water is about halfway up. I have finally cured myself of my curse and have enough water to cure Ryoga, Mouse, and Pops, provided they agree with my demands. For some reason I’ve been getting strange feelings from people around me since saving that slut Akane from the Phoenix god Saffron. It almost seems like I’m sensing their emotions and thoughts, but that is impossible. Oh well, it doesn’t seem to be harmful so I’ll ignore it for now.

RanmaMan, is this fic almost over?
AkaneI think so.
NabikiSo all of a sudden “For some reason I’ve been getting strange feelings from people around me since saving that slut Akane from the Phoenix god Saffron. It almost seems like I’m sensing their emotions and thoughts,”  And Saotome did not think of mentioning this earlier?
RanmaAm I that dense?
UkyoPlot Hole…


With that final thought on paper Ranma repacks his journal and goes to sleep inside his tent. The next morning he wakes feeling refreshed and happy. He starts running farther from Phoenix Mountain and at about half way through the day sees Korin’s Tower is about fifty miles away. He speeds up and gets to the base in about three hours. He decides that he had better rest for the night before heading up for the Sacred Water.

RyogaAgain, who moved Korin’s Tower?

End prologue


Well, this is my first official fanfic that I am posting. I hope you like it. I don’t know a whole lot about Dragon Ball so I’m relying on information I’m getting from a friend. Please keep in mind that this world is not the one in which the Dragon Ball series takes place in so Korin’s Tower is not necessarily in the same place. I’m trying to make this fic be a case of Ranma gets revenge on the girls, but at the same time have him not be the bad guy. I know that most people would say that Ranma wouldn’t get revenge in the manner I’m going to have him get it in, but I ask you to remember two things; first, Genma and Nodoka have a Dom/sub relationship, and Ranma is used to seeing women as slaves to men. Second, Ranma is way too nice in the anime series, the way I figure it is that there has got to be a reason for it, and this is my explanation. For those of you wondering about the title and the allusion I used in the last journal entry, they never said what if any affect Jusendo’s water had on him, and he’s the first normal human to have been in both the hot and cold water. I also welcome people MSTing this Prologue and the chapters that will follow. I am planning on eventually making this crossover with Sailor Moon mostly so that Setsuna learns that some prophecies are self fulfilling. Well, that’s all I have to say for now, Lemon Otaku signing off…

RanmaRevenge, but not be evil.  So far he is very evil.
NabikiRevenge on only the Female cast…
Nodoka“Genma and Nodoka have a Dom/sub relationship” when did that happen?
Ukyo“Setsuna learns that some prophecies are self fulfilling”  So the author is writing about himself…
Xiam PuInteresting…
HapposaiHe is more evil than me.
EveryoneWe are MSTing it you sick pervert!
RanmaI hope there aint another chapter.