Not Ranma 1/2 volume 1 part 3
Three Nights
by Andy Wennersten

MST Part 6 by daniel nelson

	No sex in this one.  If the reader has read the other five parts of this that I’ve 
MSTied, you’ll notice I’m doing one section that has no sex, then one that has sex.  
There’s a reason.  I could not handle doing two sex parts one after another.  As is, I’m 
amazed I’ve actually gotten this far.  I may actually finish this thing.  

Note: Some of my facts for Ranma may be off, as I’m not usually a fanatical anime fan.  I 
mostly stick to video games, so I had to get some info from friends.  If anything seems 
wrong, umm, well, just ignore it.

Legal: Same ol’ same ol’.  The MSTiers are mine, Ranko by Andy, Ranma ½ by Rumiko 
Takahashi, the other anime characters mentioned by their respectful creators.  I’m in a 
litigatin’ mood baybe, so sen’ in those court summons at drnelson@ucdavis.edu 
<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

	"Excuse me Ma’am, but could you spare a second?"
	Jessica Banton turned at the voice behind her back. "What is it you shrinks 
want..." She stopped when she saw the man who had spoken was not one of the 
psychologists running the experiment, but a janitor.  "Sorry, I thought you were one of 
them.  What can I do for you?" she said.
	The janitor smiled. "I wanted to see the beautiful Jessica for myself, and if what I 
had heard about her blue eyes was correct."
	Jess started to take a step back. This janitor was easily sixty. "Umm, thank you, I 
guess, but what do you mean ‘what I’d heard’?"
	"Do not worry, Madam.  Do not worry for yourself." the janitor whispered. "You 
are needed, I know that.  You are needed, so you don’t have to worry."
	"Umm, thanks.  I have to go now." Jessica said and quickly walked into the 
hallway connecting to the viewing room.

KANI: (walking in) Hi guys.
MAD COW: (on couch next to Flip Side)  Hey Kani.
FLIP SIDE: Hi.
KANI: You know, I bet that if the shrinks got rid of the couch and replaced it with an 
oversized recliner, you two would *not* be complaining.  
FLIP: I’m sure I do not know what you could mean.
MAD: Kani, what did you mother tell you about other people’s business?
KANI: My mother ran an advice column in our paper.
MAD: Crap.
FLIP: Besides, we’re pretty busy.  We’ve only had lunch once.
MAD: Yeah, and I got reprimanded by some shrink for that.  Apparently they don’t want 
anyone meeting anytime except in these sessions.
KANI: (sitting down in the right Lay-Z-Boy) Everyone here is crazy.  Even the janitors. 
It’s like a virus.  And it’s spreading.
MAXIC: Hi, what’s going on?
VOICE: Now that everyone is here, we will begin.
FLIP: Voice, is Max officially late?
VOICE: Yes.
FLIP: Ha!  You’ve been late as many times as me Max.
MAXIC: Damn.   (sits in left Lay-Z-Boy)
VOICE: Your fanfic today is Not Ranma Part 6.  Begin experiment. 
KANI: This one might be good, actually.  Ranko might die.  

Ranma awoke to find her head resting between two warm, 
soft objects.  She lifted her head and found out that the objects were a 
pair of breasts.  She panicked out of habit and leapt off the bed.  Then 
she saw who the breasts belonged to and relaxed.  Ranko was sleeping 
quietly with a little smile on her lips.  She looks peaceful, Ranma 
thought.  Not like when she's awake.  "She looks like an angel."  she 
said out loud.

KANI: Ranma’s and my ideas of an ‘angel’ are obviously a little different. 

        Suddenly, Ranko's eyes snapped open.  A katana appeared in 
her hand as she leapt out of bed.  She swung the sword and missed 
Ranma's head by a fraction of an inch.  She was about to attack again 
when she realized who was on the receiving end of her blade.  "Oh.  
Good morning, Ranma."

MAD: (Robin Williams) Goooood Morning Raanmaaaa!!

        "You tried to kill me!"  Ranma shouted.

FLIP: Yes, she did.  Unfortunetly, she missed.  But that can be fixed.

        "If I was trying to kill you , you'd already be dead."  Ranko 
replied.

MAXIC: (Ranko-Hot Shots) And now I will kill you until you die from it.

        "Then just what were you trying to do?"  Ranma asked.

KANI: (Ranko) Ok, I was trying to kill you.

        "You interrupted a really good dream.  I get a little upset when 
that happens."  Ranko replied.  "And I don't like being called Angel, 
either."

MAD: (Ranko) Dammit, you know I prefer honeybuns!

        Ranma decided not to ask.  "Okay, just don't let it happen 
again."

MAXIC: (Ranma) Yeah, and, um, just don’t let it happen, um, again.  Yeah.

        "I'll try not to."  Ranko answered.  "Now let's take a shower.  
I want to get an early start today."

FLIP: (Ranko) An early start on our *lovemakin’*, Ranma baby.

        In the bathroom, Ranma stepped into the shower and sighed 
as the hot water changed him back into a man.

MAXIC: Hey, are we still calling Ranko the Magical Inbreeding Nympho?
KANI: Umm, I don’t know.  Any other suggestions?
FLIP: Unrealistic Fornicating Redneck?
MAD: Redneck?
FLIP: Yeah, she has sex with her relatives.
KANI: U.F.R.  Works for me. 

        "You don't have to act so relieved."  Ranko said as she 
stepped into the shower.  "I mean, you were enjoying being a girl last 
night."

MAD: (Ranko-U.F.R) But of course you were.  Everyone enjoys sex with the (deep 
voice) Unrealistic Fornicating Redneck.

        "Yeah, but I spent the whole day as a girl.  It's good to change 
back to normal."  Ranma said.

KANI: I’m sorry, I have to ask this.  When Ranma changes, is it instantaneously?  Or 
does he go through some weird computer-like morphing sequence?
MAXIC: I think it’s instantaneous. 

        "Well, I'm glad you put up with me yesterday."  Ranko said.  
"It helped a lot."

MAD: (Ranko-U.F.R) I hadn’t had sex for 28 straight hours!
KANI: That would probably be a record for Ranko.

        "What do you mean?"

FLIP: (Ranko-U.F.R) I mean you never listen to me!  We’re through!

        "Well, you're the first man I've ever chosen to sleep with more 
than once."  Ranko answered.

MAD: (Ranko-U.F.R) The other ones were dead, so they don’t count.

        "What about that guy you were living with?"  Ranma asked.

KANI: (Ranko-U.F.R) He was impotent.  Couldn’t get a stiffy even when I wore whip 
cream.

        "Keiichi?  I don't count him because Belldandy was with us 
whenever we had sex."  Ranko answered.  "If she didn't love him, I 
probably wouldn't have let him join us."

MAXIC: (Keiichi) Please, Please let me in.  I’ve been dreaming about this ever since 
puberty. 

        "So you're saying that you would rather have me as a girl?"  
Ranma asked.

MAD: (Ranko-U.F.R) Yes.  You have smoother legs as a girl.

        "You're my brother, so I'll always think of you as a guy.  And 
I won't make you have sex as a girl all the time."  Ranko said.  "But 
it's nice to know that I have that option."

KANI: (Car salesman) Let me you show you the options on this baby.

        "I guess being bisexual gets complicated."  Ranma said.

KANI: Being changed from a guy to a girl depending on the temperature of water 
probably helps.
FLIP: Hey Max, what if the water was exactly the body temperature,  so it would be 
neither hot nor cold?
MAXIC: I don’t know.  The show never brings that up.

        "You have no idea."  Ranko replied.  "Speaking of 
complications, we're going to the beach today, so we might as well 
change now."

MAD: Ranko and Ranma then entered a five minute long Sailor Moon-type 
transformation scene.

        "Okay."  Ranma said.  He turned off the hot water and gasped 
as the cold water hit him and changed him into a girl.  She heard a 
similar gasp as Ranko turned male.

KANI: (Ranko-U.F.R) <gasp> Where did *that* come from?

        "I never knew taking a cold shower could be this much fun."  
Ranko-kun said with a grin as he stepped out of the shower.

FLIP: Onto the slick floor, slipped, and tragically broke his neck.

        "You think a cold shower is fun?"  Ranma-chan asked as she 
got out of the shower and grabbed the towel that Ranma handed her.

MAD: You could always try a hot hydrochloric acid shower.

        "Sure."  Ranko answered.  "I mean, I start taking a shower 
with a guy that was sort of cute, and ended up with a beautiful 
woman."

MAXIC: Caution: Contents may lose anatomy parts when wet.

        "I knew you'd say something like that."  Ranma said.  "And 
what do you mean 'sort of cute'?"

KANI: (Ranko-U.F.R) Well, you’re no Mel Gibson.  God, what I wouldn’t let that man 
do to me.

        "Well, we've got the same body, so you be the judge."  Ranko 
said.  "Do you find me attractive as a guy?"

MAD: (Ranma) Not without the mustache.

        Ranma paused.  On one hand, she did consider herself a 
handsome man.  On the other hand, she couldn't find another man 
attractive, even if the man was really her sister.  

FLIP: Why not.  It certainly wouldn’t stop you from boinking her!

"I'm not gonna answer 
that."  she said finally.

MAXIC: (Ranma) Yeah, and, um, so there. I think.

        "Fine.  Be that way."  Ranko replied.  After they dried off, 
they got dressed in their swimsuits.  Ranko wore a pair of plain green 
swim trunks, and Ranma wore her usual one-piece.

MAD: Over her head, so that no one would recognize her with Ranko.

        "After yesterday, I'm surprised you didn't try to get me into a 
bikini."  Ranma said.

FLIP: (Ranko-U.F.R) I didn’t tell you we were going to a S&M beach?  Here’s you’re 
leather thong and collar.

        "Hey, I used to look great in a string bikini."  Ranko replied.  
"And is it really necessary to advertise the fact that you're a guy?"  he 
asked as he gestured to the word 'BOY' written across the front of 
Ranma's suit.

MAXIC: Boyz-2-Men
KANI: In this case it would probably be boy to woman.

        "At least you don't have a problem with guys hitting on you at 
the beach."  Ranma said.

        "Oh, I wouldn't say that."  Ranko said.  "I've had a few 
offers."

KANI: (Man at beach) Excuse me, but could you go swimming?  We need to see if there 
are any sharks around.

        "You didn't!  Ranma said with a shocked tone.

FLIP: (Ranko-U.F.R) Of course not.  He was only offering a lousy hundred bucks.

        "Of course not."  Ranko replied.  "I only have sex as a guy 
with girls I really like, and I haven't found a guy that was worth it."  
He paused for a moment.  "Well, maybe one guy.  But that was before 
I got cursed."

MAXIC: (Ranko-U.F.R) Stupid pygmy witch doctor.  Couldn’t take a joke. 

        "I don't want to know."  Ranma said, sounding faintly 
disgusted.

FLIP: (Ranko-U.F.R) Fine.  Figure out the meaning to life on your own then.

        A little while later they were at the beach behind the hotel.

MAXIC: When a freak hurricane came through, destroying the hotel, and impaling 
Ranko and Ranma into palm trees.

        "Going topless at the beach isn't any fun when you're a guy."  
Ranko complained as he put on some sun screen.

MAXIC: Without reading the label, which, tragically, said sun screen/industrial acid.

        "Hey, Ranko?  What were you dreaming?"  Ranma asked.

MAD: (Ranko-U.F.R) I was winning first prize in my church’s bake off.  

        "Huh?"

        "This morning you said that I interrupted a really good 
dream."  Ranma said.  "So what was it?"

FLIP:  Something to do with sex.  Any one want to bet me?  Max?
MAXIC: No.

        "Oh.  I was in a four-way with Nabiki, Yoiko, and Takami."  
Ranko answered bluntly.

MAXIC: That’s why.

        "I wish you wouldn't fantasize about Ryoga's sister."  Ranma 
said.  "He's mad enough as it is without you adding to the problem."

MAD: (Ranko-U.F.R) Well, I told him I’m only sleep with him if he takes off that 
bandana.

        "I'm not the only one.  Yoiko's got dozens of female 
admirers."  Ranko said.  "I keep telling her she's wasting herself on 
men."

        "Dozens?!"  Ranma asked.

KANI:(Ranko-U.F.R) Yeah.  A *baker’s* dozen, even.

        "Yeah.  I'll give her one month before she got local girl 
infatuated and hanging around Ucchan's"  Ranko replied.  "But me 
and Takami are the only ones that ever came close to actually getting 
anywhere with her."

FLIP: (Ranko-U.F.R) We were halfway to Vegas when she made me turn back.

        "Who is this Takami, anyway?"  Ranma asked.

KANI: (Ranko-U.F.R) My former pimp/crack supplier.  God I loved that man.

        A dreamy look came over Ranko's face.  "She's the most 
wonderful woman in the world."

FLIP: (Ranko-U.F.R) She did my laundry.  

        "Old girlfriend?"  Ranma asked.

MAD: (Ranko-U.F.R) Actually, I’m not sure.  I had a lot to drink that night.

        "Not just any old girlfriend."  Ranko answered.  "She's my 
first lover.  The girl I lost my virginity to."

MAXIC: (Ranko-U.F.R) Of course, you could probably say that about any of the girls 
that was at the orgy that night.

        "Sounds like you liked her a lot?"

FLIP:(Ranko-U.F.R)Ok. It was mostly her Deluxe Gas Powered Pleasure-O-Mobil 2000.

        "I didn't like her.  I loved her.  I still do love her.  I would die 
for her.  I would kill for her.  I would do anything she asked."  Ranko's 
face became sad.  "Except for the one thing she did ask."

KANI: Ahh, gee look.  Psycho nympho has a sensitive side.

        "What happened?"  Ranma asked.

MAD:(Ranko-U.F.R) She didn’t like it when I wore a dog collar and said I wanted to be 
paddled like a bad puppy.  Can you believe it?

        "She asked me to share her love with another."  Ranko 
replied.

MAXIC: Currently Ranko’s love is going for 2.50 a share on the Dow Jones.

        "You mean another woman?"  Ranma asked.

KANI: (Ranko-U.F.R) Actually, I mean a shiatsu chair.  Takami was funny that way. 

        "Yeah.  She fell in love with some blonde on a racing 
motorcycle."  Ranko replied.  "She wanted my help in seducing her.  
But I couldn't do that."

FLIP: (Ranko-U.F.R) I had already branded the girl for myself.

        "Excuse me?"  Ranma said.  "No offense, but from what 
you've been telling me over the past couple of days, more than one 
person isn't a problem for you."

KANI: (Ranko-U.F.R) Especially when one of them’s you, Ranma honey.

        "Groups can be nice.  But I realized that I would never have 
Takami all to myself."  Ranko replied.  "You see, Takami has a lot of 
lovers.  Practically a harem, in fact.  And it's not just sex.  She's in love 
with all of them."

        "So you two broke up?"  Ranma asked.

MAD: (Ranko-U.F.R) Yes.  Literally.  I broke her in two.

        "Not exactly."  Ranko replied.  "We still go out on dates 
when I'm in the neighborhood."

MAXIC: Her address is 1450 Orgy Drive, Suite # 69.

        "What about the other woman?"

FLIP: (Ranko-U.F.R) I don’t know her address.

        "Well, she does invite some of her harem occasionally.  And 
there's nothing wrong with a good orgy.  But never with the blonde."  
Ranko replied.  "I made Takami promise never to tell me her name, 
for fear that I might track her down and kill her in a jealous rage."

MAXIC: Ranko’d probably start out to kill her and end up in an all night love fest.

        Ranma's eye's widened.  She didn't want to believe that Ranko 
was capable of such a thing, but the way he had said it left little doubt.

KANI: That Ranko is a psycho-nympho with homicidal tendencies?  We figured that out 
three chapters ago.
MAD: You forgot magical. 

        "Hey, Ranma?  Want to rent a rowboat?"  Ranko asked, 
changing the subject.

FLIP: (Ranko-U.F.R) We can paddle out in front of that container ship.  
	
        "Sure."  Ranma said, not wanting to continue the discussion of 
Ranko's homicidal urges.

MAXIC: Good idea, since that could end up with the death of everyone at the beach, 
including Ranma.  Actually...

        A short while later they were on the ocean.

FLIP: In a rowboat? Where’s a damn typhoon when you need it?

        "Just a man and a woman, out here alone.  Isn't this 
romantic?"  Ranko asked.

KANI: (Ranko-U.F.R) Come on Ranma baby...put out or get out.

        "It would be a lot more romantic if you weren't the man, or 
my sister."  Ranma replied.

MAD: Wow.  A voice of reason and sanity.  We need more of those.

        "But, I wouldn't be having nearly as much fun if I was here 
with a man."

MAXIC: I’m trying to think of a riff here, but I’m not sure who’s talking, and about 
what.
FLIP: (reading) ‘if I was here with a man’.  I think that’s Ranko saying if Ranma was a 
man, she wouldn’t have that much fun.
KANI: Don’t ask me.  I got confused back at the lesbian part.

        "I am a man!"  Ranma responded as usual, then thought of 
something she wanted to ask.  "Hey, how did you get started with 
guys, anyway?  It sounds to me like you'd be happy with just girls."

MAXIC: Lesbians.  Strong enough for him, made just for her.

        "It's Yoiko's fault."  Ranko replied.

        "What?"

MAD: ...is the airspeed of an unladen swallow.

        "Well, after Takami and I parted ways, I set my sights on 
Yoiko."  Ranko explained.  "I guess I've always loved her, I just never 
realized it before then.  But, unfortunately, Yoiko is as straight as an 
arrow."

KANI: Straight as an arrow fired through an oak tree.
MAXIC: Wait a second, I’m remembering something from the show.
FLIP: Takes a while, ehh Max?
MAXIC: Funny Flip, I watched this a while ago.  Ah, I remember.  Yoiko isn’t Ryuga’s 
sister.
MAD: What?
MAXIC: Well, she is, but Yoiko is actually Ranma pretending to be Ryuga’s sister, and 
Yoiko is just the name he used.
KANI: And Ryu-whatever didn’t know he had a sister?
MAXIC: Well, the guy is kind scatterbrained. He’s also got the worst sense of direction 
ever, so he figures that it’s possible he has a sister that he didn’t know about.
MAD: When does this happen in the series?
MAXIC: I don’t know, I read it in one of the mangas.
FLIP: Well, if Yoiko is Ranma, where does that leave this story?
MAD: Since Andy is writing them as two different people, I think we should just go with 
that.
MAXIC: Sounds good to me.

        "And she didn't like it that you wanted her, did she?"

MAD: (Ranko-U.F.R) No, she was alright with that.  She just never wanted to be on 
bottom.

        "Nope.  We argued, and I told her that sex with men was 
horrible."  Ranko held up a hand, stopping Ranma from protesting his 
last remark.  "She asked me how I knew.  I realized that all my 
information came from Takami, who was just as inexperienced with 
men as I was.  So Yoiko made me a bet."

FLIP: (Yoiko) Bet ya’ you can’t eat as many pizzas as I can.

        "A bet?"  Ranma asked.

KANI: (Ranko-U.F.R) Come onnn seven..... Damn!

        "Uh-huh.  She challenged me to have sex with a man.  If it 
was as awful as Takami said it would be, then Yoiko would make love 
to me.  But if it was better than a woman, then I had to stop trying to 
seduce her."

KANI: (Ranko-U.F.R) Now that I think about it, I shoulda sent her flowers instead of a 
dog collar.

        "So what did you do?"

MAD: (Ranko-U.F.R) I got laid.  Jeez Ranma, I thought you knew me better.

        "Well, my first thought was to strip naked and walk through 
the bad part of town, hoping I'd get raped..."

MAXIC: (Rano-U.F.R) Which is actually how I spend most Saturday nights.

        "What!!!"  Ranma shouted.

FLIP: ...is your favorite colour?

        "But Yoiko said that wouldn't count because nobody would 
enjoy that." 

MAXIC: I know rape is a serious subject, and not to trivialize it with a joke, but if 
*anyone* would enjoy getting raped it would be Ranko.

 Ranko continued.  "So after several botched attempts to 
get laid like a normal person,  I ended up in Ryugenzawa."

KANI: Bless you.

        "Ryugenzawa?"  Ranma asked.  She remembered her own trip 
there.

MAD: (Ranma) Damn taxi driver got lost, the hotel gave away my room, it was a mess.

        "Yeah.  Do you know they have a bunch of giant monsters 
there?  Well, anyway, Yoiko and I ran into this old man in the forests.  
It was late so we stayed at his house.  He hears us arguing about the 
bet, and he tells us that his grandson was mortally wounded, and he 
didn't want him to die a virgin."

MAXIC: So he gets Ranko to sleep with his dying son?  Nice father.  Ranko would 
probably Bobbit the kid after sex.

        "An old guy with a grandson who was dying?"  Ranma asked.  
This was sounding way too familiar."

FLIP: Poor Ranko, she’s got one story that she keeps telling over and over.

        "Yeah.  So I figure it's now or never.  I offer to make his last 
days worth while.  Lucky for me, this guy has the world's worst 
memory, so I pretended to be his wife.  And he bought it hook, line 
and sinker."

        "Wait a minute."  Ranma said.  "What was this guy's name?"

MAD:(Ranko-U.F.R) Donald Trump.  Why?

        "Shinnosuke.  Why?"

KANI: (Ranma) Oh, you slept with him too?

        Ranma fell overboard.

FLIP: After seeing a really tasty looking carp.

        "Ranma!"  Ranko shouted and dived overboard to save his 
brother.  Ranma was coughing up water as Ranko pulled her back on 
the boat.  Soon the coughing and sputtering gave way to laughter.  
"Did I miss something?"  he asked.

KANI: (Ranma) Yeah, you missed that carp!  That was my dinner!

        "You slept with Shinnosuke."  Ranma said, and broke out in 
another fit of laughter.

MAD: The laughter was breaking through Ranma like a horrible alien forcing it’s way 
through his chest.

        "Wait a minute.  You know him?"

FLIP: (Ranma) Yes.  Oh, wait, Shinnosuke.  Nope, doesn’t sound familiar.

        "Yeah."  Ranma answered.  "He had a major crush on 
Akane."

MAXIC: Shinnosuke had Akane trapped in a C-clamp in his garage.

        "Well, he's dead now, so it doesn't matter."  Ranko said.

MAD: Ranko likes to mate with a man and then eat them like a praying mantis.

        "He's not dead."  Ranma said.  "He got cured."

KANI: (Ranma) That cold he had.  Gone inside of a week.  He still has crabs, though...

        "He's not dead!"  Ranko shouted.  "Why that little...  To think 
I almost killed myself because of him.  I swear, if I wasn't a goddess..."

MAXIC: (Ranko-U.F.R) ...so I’ll just be a Goddess of Death! Die Shinnosuke!

        "What do you mean, you almost killed yourself?"  Ranma 
interrupted.

FLIP: Yeah, what do you mean *almost*!  If you’re going to kill yourself, see it through 
to the end!

        "The morning after I had sex with him, I was a wreck."  
Ranko answered.  "I was so depressed, I almost threw myself off a 
cliff.  Luckily, Yoiko was there to stop me."

MAD: Damn Yoiko.

        "Shinnosuke was that bad in bed?"  Ranma asked.

KANI: (Ranko-U.F.R) Well, he was better then that cold fish I slept with yesterday... Oh, 
hi Ranma.

        "No.  He was good.  Great, even."  Ranko replied.

MAXIC: (Robin Williams) I may be old, but I can still gum you to death!

        "Then what was the problem?"


        "That one moment of pleasure shattered all the beliefs that I 
had about my sexuality.  Lesbians by definition don't enjoy sex with 
men.  But I did.  So I couldn't be a lesbian."  Ranko said.  "But I still 
loved Takami and Yoiko.  So I couldn't be straight."

MAD: Yoiko later put Ranko in a C-clamp and straightened her with a pair of pliers. 

        "Sounds like you were pretty mixed up."  Ranma said.  "How 
did you get it all sorted out?"

FLIP: Ranko used a mechanical card shuffler.

        "Yoiko asked me who was better, men or women."  Ranko 
said.  "Then I realized that we both lost the bet, because sex with men 
wasn't awful, but it wasn't better than sex with women, either."  He 
grinned.  "As strange as it sounds, it was Yoiko's idea for me to go 
both ways."

FLIP: (Ranko-U.F.R) ...down the street, while not looking out ahead of me.  That’s when 
I was hit by that eighteen-wheeler.

        "But you still lost the bet."  Ranma said.  "Yoiko wouldn't 
sleep with you."

MAXIC: (Ranko-U.F.R) Oh yeah?  It’s amazing what a coupla’ roofies will do to a girl.

        "Now that you mention it, we did make out that night."  
Ranko said.

        "But you said you and she never..."

KANI: (Ranko-U.F.R) Yeah, I know what I said.  What are you gonna do about it?  Huh, 
what are you gonna do?

        "We didn't go all the way."  Ranko interrupted.  "She 
wouldn't  let me touch her below the waist.  Unfortunately she isn't as 
easy to get off as you are.  But I had fun.  I think she did too, even 
though she'll deny it if you ask her."

FLIP: (Yoiko) Ranko?  God no!  I hate that nymphomanical magical transgender psycho 
stalker.  I had to change my name and move to Idaho.

        "Especially since you're still after her."  Ranma added.

MAD: Yoiko’s got a one and a half lap lead.

        "I'll admit that I do hit on her once in a while, and she can 
bribe me pretty easy with kisses.  But I'm not as bad as I used to be.  I 
guess I've accepted the fact that she's going to fall in love with a man 
and get married someday."

MAXIC: (Ranko-U.F.R) Then I’ll come over and have a threesome!

        "Hey, can we go back now?  I'm hungry."  Ranma asked.

        "I guess the way to a man's heart really is through his 
stomach."  Ranko commented as he rowed ashore.

        After a few more hours at the beach, Ranko and Ranma 
returned to their room.

KANI: ...which, tragically, had been slated for destruction to commence only a few 
seconds later. 

VOICE: Congratulations.  Part six done.
MAXIC: You guys should really give us bonuses for watching this stuff.
MAD: How many parts left?
VOICE: Experiment finished.  Please be on time next session.
FLIP SIDE: Oh well.  I have to get going.  See ya guys.
MAD, MAXIC : Bye Flip. (Fips Side leaves)
KANI: See ya.
MAD: That reminds me, I’ve got to get that paper written.  Adios. (leaves)
KANI: (gets up) So you think the next one will be as bad as last time, Max?
MAXIC: I don’t think so.  I think Mad is right.  The more of Ranko you see, the more 
resistance you build up to her.
KANI: Heh.  Ranko antidote?
MAXIC: Yeah, something like that. (gets up and retrieves his coat)  Hey Kani, are you 
doing anything tonight?
KANI: Max, are you asking me out?
MAXIC: Depends on if you say ‘yes’.
KANI: And if I say ‘no’?
MAXIC: Then it’s just one friend asking another if they are particularly busy tonight.
KANI: Max, Max, Max.  Some girls like to play games;  I don’t.  So if you want to ask 
me, just say it.
MAXIC: Alright.  Do you want to go out tonight?
KANI: I’d love to.  Just not with you.
MAXIC: What?!
KANI: Kidding, don’t worry Max, I’m just kidding.
MAXIC: Funny.  See Kani, you do like to play games.
KANI: Of course I do, but I also like honesty and people who can act on their feelings.
MAXIC: Speaking of acting on feelings, you still haven’t answered my question.
KANI:  I’d like to, I really would, but I can’t.  
MAXIC: Oh.
KANI: Don’t worry Max, I’m not seeing any one else, or dating a guy, or have a 
boyfriend.  This week is just a really bad week as far as free time goes.
MAXIC: Oh.  Alright.
KANI: Come on Max, I’m not lying to you.  I really am busy this week. (starts to leave).
MAXIC: Well, maybe I’ll just have to follow you to make sure.
KANI: Heh, that’s the Max I know.  You follow me and I *will* know.  And you will 
*not* be happy.  See ya next time.(leaves)
MAXIC:(turns around and looks at the viewing room.)  Bye, Kani..


<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

Hey baby, reading bad fanfics your bag?  It’s sure mine.  You want to see the next one 
I’m doing?  It’s called 'The Adventures of Me and You in Shagland', baby. Drop me the 
line here at drnelson@ucdavis.edu if you’re up for it. 

"It would be a lot more romantic if you weren't the man, or 
my sister."