From: Adam Griffin Subject: Re: [FFML] [fanfic][ranma][lemon w/plot][MSTish] Nekoken Is Out Of The Bag! pt 1 [Fade in on three people, two guys and one girl in a movie theater. They all sit and do nothing.] Writer: Excuse me? Guy #1: What now? Writer: We're on. Rile, can the attitude. (A caption comes under the guy who said 'What now?' stating his name, "Rile Blade". He's wearing a black sleeveless t-shirt and sweatpants, with a head of black hair that looks like it's high on crack... or something to that effect.) Rile: What's this stupid caption doing here? Ah, nevermind. Where's my opening line? Girl: You didn't memorize it? Rile: No, I tried but... Guy #2: You're illiterate. Rile: Shut up Alex. (A caption appears under the second guy, stating his name, "Alex Blade". He's wearing a red jacket, white shirt, and blue jeans. His short brown hair is nicely combed.) Alex: Oooh, caption. Where's Yuriko's caption? (A caption appears under the girl, stating her name, "Yuriko, Warrior >From Heaven and All Around Nice Lady." She's wearing a white shirt, black pants, and her hair is tied up in a ponytail.) Rile: Why does she get the impressive title? Writer: Don't ask, it was a spur of the moment thing. I suppose you guys want to know why I've assemble you here... Rile: Yeah, I sure do. Shouldn't you be working on Episode Five of _MY_ series? Writer: _Your_ series? I created you, pal. If that ego keeps inflating I'll easily make Alex the star. Rile: Ok, I'll calm down... what are we reviewing? Yuriko: A fanfic titled "Nekoken Is Out Of The Bag" by Lord Archive. Alex: Is it a Ranma fic? Yuriko: Yep. Rile: Ranma still owes me that five dollars from lunch when we were working on the CROSSOVER THAT _SOMEONE_ NEVER FINISHED!! Writer: What was that? Rile: Nothing. Yuriko: It's also a... lemon. Rile: Great... first fic that we're gonna MST, and it's a lemon. Alex: Let's just blame it on Adam and beat the hell out of him later. Rile: That'll work. Let's roll it. ---------------------------------------------------- Chapter 1 - The Cat is Out. ---------------------------------------------------- -Monday shortly after school ended. Akane thought as she ran into Dr. Tofu's newly reopened clinic. She shut the door behind herself, gasping for breath. "Hello, Akane. Is something wrong?" Dr. Tofu could see that Akane was definitely very scared about something. "Ranma... in Nekoken... can't seem to... control... why can't I... control... don't understand..." she breathed. The door shook behind Akane and a "Meowr" was heard. "He's found me!" Akane screeched. [Alex: Who? Rile: Michael... Michael Myers... Yuriko: *groan*] Dr. Tofu thought as the door stopped shaking. "Is... is he gone?" Akane asked, only to be answered by neko-Ranma's "Meowr" as he leapt in through an open window. "Ranma, NO!" she shouted as Ranma pounced on her. Akane's body twisted as she attempted to dodge but ended up landing face down with Ranma on top of her. Ranma bit into her hair and his body pounded into hers several times. [Rile: Uhhh... wonder how Ranma prepared for this role? Alex: I don't wanna know. Maybe he watched the Discovery Channel or something...] He paused, raising himself off of her. He drew back his hand as if he was going to claw her from top to bottom when Ranma and Akane were both doused with a huge 'splash.' Dr. Tofu's worried form, carrying a now empty bucket, was standing over them. "Wh... What happened?" asked the bewildered onna-Ranma. She looked down at Akane and immediately jumped five feet away. "You attacked me!" Akane shouted as she got to her feet. "What?" Ranma replied. Dr. Tofu bit his lip. "Ranma, she's right. You... SORT of... er... attacked Akane while under the influence of the Nekoken." Ranma realized for the first time that Dr. Tofu was with them. "I... attacked her? Why would I do that? I mean... she's always been able to keep me in check me before- why wasn't she able to now?" Dr. Tofu grimaced. This was not the best way to approach this, but if he didn't do something soon someone would get hurt. "I think I could explain it to you, but... you might prefer it if we talked about this in private." Ranma started to head into the clinic's office as Dr. Tofu turned to Akane. "Akane, are you going to be all right? Ranma did tackle you pretty hard..." Akane winced as she moved her arm, but tried to hide the pain. "Yeah, I'll be fine- I doubt I was even bruised." She smiled at him. "It's good to see you back." [Yuriko: He left? Rile: Yeah... he just dissappeared or something... Alex: You sure? Rile: No. Yuriko and Alex: Thought so.] Dr. Tofu smiled back, a little sadly. "It's good to be back- my research kept me away for FAR too long." He started to follow Ranma into his office, and noticed Akane trying to join him. "Er, Akane, I think this would be easier to handle if you were to stay here for a little while." Akane frowned, but nodded, taking a seat in the waiting room. From her position, Ranma could still see her from where he was seated, even after Dr. Tofu partially closed the privacy curtain. Dr. Tofu sighed, studying Ranma's face. "Ranma, do you know why some people can control you when you're under the Nekoken's influence, and others are not? Ranma shrugged, casting a worried glance into the waiting room. "No, not really." He wasn't really paying much attention, after seeing Akane absent-mindedly massaging her shoulder where he had tackled her. Dr. Tofu decided on the subtle approach. "Have you told Akane you love her, yet?" [Rile: He should know that Ranma's gonna freak...] Ranma screeched, "What?" [Alex: Typical Ranma reaction. He's got that part down.] "Have you told Akane that you love her?" "ME!? Love THAT tom-" He cut himself off when he noticed Akane looking up in his direction. [Rile: And if he completed the sentence, he'd be out the window right now...] Dr. Tofu sighed- this was going to be difficult. "I take that as a no. Ranma, this is very important. I will keep this in confidence, if you want, but, as your doctor, I MUST know how you feel about Akane." [Alex: She makes me feel kinda funny... like when we used to climb the rope in gym class... Yuriko: *giggle*] "You sure you won't spill it if Kasumi shows up?" Ranma eyed Dr. Tofu suspiciously. Dr. Tofu smiled, tapping his crystal clear glasses. "Part of my research trip was to help me control myself around her. I think you can trust me... As I was saying... you DO love Akane, don't you?" Ranma blinked. He looked at Dr. Tofu strangely. "Why do you think that I l... l... er, feel that way about her, anyway? I mean, we always fight, we insult each other all the time, we-" Dr. Tofu decided he'd better interrupt before Akane heard what Ranma was saying and decided to eavesdrop. "WHILE I was on the research trip, I came across some... interesting... information on the Nekoken. The information explains some of why you react the way you do around certain people..." Ranma was getting a little impatient. "So what does that have to do with this? Why could she control me before, but not now?" Dr. Tofu sighed. He'd better get this over with. "In order for someone to have a calming effect on you like Akane did, you need... well, the person needs two things from you. They need you to trust them implicitly, and... they need you to love them." [Alex: Plot device? Rile: Plot device. Yuriko: Do you even know what a plot device is? Rile: Yeah, it's, uh... a device... for the plot... Alex: Something to that effect.] Ranma face faulted. When he recovered, he started looking over at Akane, reading a magazine in the waiting room. "Okay... t-that explains why she used to be able to control me. But... if I did l... love her, then... why has she lost that ability?" His face hardened. "Did I stop loving her? Do I no longer trust her? What?" "No, nothing like that." Dr. Tofu considered his next words very carefully- he wanted to put it as delicately as he could. "When you fall into the Nekoken, your feelings don't change. If you love Akane as a cat, you love her as a human. If you love her as a human, you love her as a cat. However, when you change, your reactions become less human and more... cat-like." "I don't follow." Dr. Tofu sighed. It was time to be blunt- but hopefully he could reduce the damage a bit by explaining things further. "Well, first of all, Ranma, you didn't MEAN to attack her. Think about how cats behave- when a male and a female kitten are both kept as pets- and they are close- they tend to do certain things together. They rub against each other, they purr in each other's company, they groom each other- they act kind of like what your cat form used to around Akane. However, as they... mature... they tend to demonstrate their closeness in other, more 'adult' ways. In other words..." [Rile: I know where this is going... Ranma wanted to get some a- Alex: Aspirin. For Akane.... yep, asprin for Akane. Yuriko: For the attack, right? Alex: Right.] Ranma looked at Dr. Tofu in shock and stuttered, "I... You don't mean that I... I tried to... to... have... sex... with.... No, I tried to... to... rape..." [Rile: The boy's feeling guilty...] Dr. Tofu nodded. "I'm afraid so, Ranma. In fact, to... lessen... the possible damage that this could cause, I think you should perhaps tell Akane about this..." Ranma stammered, "I-I can't. She won't understand." Dr. Tofu looked at Ranma sternly. "You have to tell her. You put her at greater risk if you don't. And I think she will understand." "I can't tell her this." [Rile: Because she'll beat the hell out of me.] Dr. Tofu shook his head, "I don't think it is wise to delay it. You should really tell her now." Ranma replied, getting angry, "I can't." Dr. Tofu insisted, "Ranma, you must tell..." "I CAN'T," Ranma angrily interrupted. "Ranma!" Dr. Tofu was himself becoming angry. "HOW THE HELL AM I SUPPOSE TO TELL HER I JUST TRIED TO RAPE HER?!?" Ranma yelled angrily. [Rile: ... Alex: ... Yuriko: ...] "WHAT?!?" Akane shouted. [Alex: Isn't that Ranma's line? Yuriko: Usually... however, I think Akane's entitled to use it in this situation.] Ranma froze. He just yelled what he didn't want to tell her. Dr. Tofu smirked, "The cat is out of the bag. It's time to tell her everything." [Rile: Cat... heh heh... *WHAP* Yuriko: (holding a baseball bat) Shut up. Rile: Ok...] Ranma nodded dumbly. Akane was in Ranma's face now. "What do you mean you just tried to rape me?" Ranma tried to look away, but was trapped like a deer in headlights by her staring at him. He stammered, "I-I... It's just that, well, er, my cat side, well, it wanted to, um..." [Rile: Shag. Alex: Basically.] Akane's eyes widen in shock, she could not believe what she was hearing. "...m-m-mate with y-you," Ranma finished. [Yuriko: At least he said it gently. Rile: Gently? Humans don't mate, they- Alex: We know man, we know. He's talking about his cat side anyway. Rile: I knew that...] Akane continued to stare at him, unable to really think. "I-is this true?" she asked. "Yes it is, Akane," Dr. Tofu answered. "Ranma, now tell her why your 'cat side' wanted to do that. I'll leave you two alone now." Dr. Tofu left his office. [Rile: Dr. Tofu putting the pressure on Ranma here... is he gonna choke?] Ranma gulped audibly. [Yuriko: Yep.] "W-why does your cat side w-want to m-mate with me?" Akane asked nervously. "I-I can explain. Please hear me out on this." [Rile: Before you whip, out the almighty mallet...] Akane nodded. [Alex: She's gonna hear him out!! This is a first!! Rile: Oh happy day... oh happy day. Yuriko: You guys must be pro-Ranma. Rile and Alex: Damn straight.] "Remember when I first went into Nekoken here and I kissed you?" "Yes." Akane wanted to know where he was going with this. "You got upset because you thought I would've kissed anyone." Akane looked like she about to interrupt, but Ranma motioned for her to remained quiet. "It wouldn't have been just anyone else. I would only do that to someone that I felt similarly for." Akane blinked. "The feeling I have for someone when I've gone cat are the same feelings I normally have for them." Ranma took a deep breath, and looked at the floor, uncertain how she'll respond. "The means to control me is be a trusted friend that I...I... l...l...love." [Rile: He said the 'l' word!! Ranma's getting better roles all the time!!] Akane's eyes once again widened in shock. "Ranma, i-if you love me then... why t-the change?" Ranma closed his eyes. "Because, I guess my feelings for you have, well, matured. I, er, well, my cat side used to react to you as a kitten would, but..." Ranma's voice trailed off unable to say anything more. As his words faded, his face became redder as he blushed. [Rile: Uh oh... he's losing it...] "Now you respond to me as an adult cat would to his... to someone he loves," Akane finished. [Alex: Akane catches on quick.] Ranma nodded, blushing deeper than he ever had before. Akane sat down on Dr. Tofu's chair. Her mind trying to digest what was just told to her. Ranma loves her, she knew that since China, even if he couldn't admit it until now. But, she never considered that if Ranma ever went into Nekoken, his cat form would try to express that love. She looked up at him. "Y-you want to have sex with me?" [Rile: Yes. With you. And Shampoo. And Ukyo. But definitely not Kodachi. Alex: Kodachi scares me. Rile: She scares everybody...] "Well," Ranma admitted, "I... er, well, part of me does, at least. However, I don't really think I'm- er, WE'RE ready for this, yet." [Yuriko: At least he's not like "Let's go. Right here." Rile: Heh... that would be funny.] Akane looked at the floor, still trying to figure out what to make of this. After a long moment Ranma said, "Akane..." Akane stood up slowly. "I... Ranma, I think we need to go home now." She left the clinic with Ranma following closely behind her. Ranma looked rather down cast, thinking, They walked home quietly. Akane was lost in thought over the revelation of what Ranma told her. Akane sighed. [Rile: Just give him some catnip or something, scratch his ears... Yuriko: Yeah, while he's trying to scratch her clothes off, I guess. Alex: Either that or mallet him like he's never been malleted before... Rile: That could work...] Ranma walked behind her, also lost in thought. He wanted, no needed, to know how Akane felt about him. Ranma nervously asked, "Akane, do you l-l... feel the same way about me as I do for you?" Akane turned and looked at Ranma with a smile, "How about I tell you on a date?" Ranma gave her a puzzled look. [Yuriko: Don't tell me... Rile: This IS Ranma... matters of the heart always cause him to lose his train of thought.] "How does Saturday sound?" [Rile: It sounds like Sunday, but without the Sun... Yuriko: You were desperate for that one. Rile: Sure was.] He looked at her smiling face. "You promise to tell me." "Yes." He couldn^Òt say no to that smile, so he sighed. "Okay. You can tell me then." She giggled and skipped down the street. He was still a little scared as she hadn't told him how she really feels. He hoped the idea of the date was to tell him in a romantic setting, but couldn't get the nagging thought out of his mind that she was going to tell him she doesn't love him. ------------------------------------------------- -Monday 7:00 p.m. Nabiki sat on her bed as she checked over today's earnings. She took a moment to go over her puzzled thoughts, "Why did Ranma go into Nekoken so easily this afternoon. Normally seeing Shampoo as a cat just freaks him out, but today he went Nekoken in just a of moments. Then there was his odd reaction to Akane. She couldn't control him. She always controlled him before..." Her thoughts were interrupted by a knock at the door. "Enter," Nabiki said. She saw Akane open the door. "What can I do for you?" [Rile: She needs some help with Ranma's other women, I bet.] Akane shut the door, practically skipped to Nabiki's desk chair, and sat down. She began, "Nabiki, I need your help. I'm going on a date this Saturday with Ranma, and I want it to be perfect. That means I want no one interfering." [Alex: Good call.] Nabiki calm demeanor slipped a little as she looked at Akane with her mouth slightly agape and said, "You're going on a date with Ranma." Akane nodded furiously. "It'll cost you." [Yuriko: Awww... Rile: At least she's in character as well. Yuriko: It's her own sister!! Alex: But it's _Nabiki_!! Yuriko: Good point.] "How much?" she sighed, hoping Nabiki won't charge her too much for this. [Rile: Everything you're worth, plus tax.] "Do you know why Ranma acted weird this afternoon?" [Alex: Damn, it must be bugging her really bad if she doesn't want money for the services.] Akane gave Nabiki a puzzled look, "Er...Yes." "Okay here's the deal, you will cover all costs, tell me what happened this afternoon, and give the details of what happens on the date." [Yuriko: Did I hear 'costs' in there? Rile: Yep. Yuriko: Money grubbing bi- Alex: HEY!! Look at that, they're still on screen...] "As long as you don't let anyone else know." Nabiki nodded, "So why did Ranma go into Nekoken so easily this afternoon?" "Not sure about that. He was worried or afraid about something." "That doesn't help. Why couldn't you control him." Akane sighed, "I used to control him because of his love for me." Nabiki eyes grew in shock. Akane mega-blushed, "But now...he-he really loves me. I couldn't control Ranma because he wanted to show me how he felt... um... physically." Nabiki blinked, and then blinked again, "You mean he was trying to have sex with you!?" [Rile: No, he wanted to discuss the finer points of higher education.] Akane nodded, "I^Òve known that he loves me, but I didn't think he felt quite that way about me. But while in Nekoken his feelings don't change, he just reacts to them as a cat would." "So how do you feel about him?" Akane whispered, "I love him." "Have you told him?" "I plan to on the date." Nabiki leaned toward Akane. "Why don't you tell him now?" Akane sighed, "The way he told me wasn't very romantic. So, I want tell him in a way that was." [Alex: At least he told her. Usually he'd still be stammering right about now...] "Ahh. Should I come up with some ideas to solve his fiancee problem?" [Rile: Kill 'em all!! 'Cept for Ukyou.] Akane nodded. "Any ideas you have would be a great help. Thanks Sis." [Yuriko: I can't believe she charged her own sister... Alex: It's just sisterly help Nabiki style.] ------------------------------------------------ -Tuesday Morning - 8:15 a.m. It was a rare morning as not only did Ranma and Akane walked to school without fighting so far, but Nabiki was walking with them. While Ranma was a bit nervous about finding out how Akane feels about him on the upcoming date, her jovial mood set him at ease. "Dr. Tofu didn't waste much time asking Kasumi out on a date," Akane commented. "Nope, but that's why he went on his research trip," Ranma answered. "Speaking of dates, Ranma, what are the plans for your date, Saturday?" Nabiki joined in. Ranma answered in his normal intellectual manner, "Huh?" [Rile: Heh...] Nabiki repeated, "What are the plans for your date with Akane?" Ranma paled. If Nabiki knew about this, then how many other people did? "How... how do you know 'bout that?" he stuttered. [Alex: He's using that Saotome Stutter Technique first perfected by Genma...] Akane answered, "I asked her to prevent anyone from interfering with it." Ranma relaxed a little, "Oh, I guess dinner and a movie, but I haven't decided where." Nabiki got a devious grin, "How about you let me plan it? I'll make sure it's perfect." Ranma sighed, "That would be great, but I don't have much money." [Rile: GOOD ANSWER!! GOOD ANSWER!!] Nabiki replied, "Trust me Ranma. I'll keep your financial status in mind while planning it." [Alex: Two napkins and half a bean, please...] Ranma nodded, but the idea of Nabiki planning the date made him feel uneasy. Akane's smile, however, grew bigger as she knew that if her sister planned the date, the less of a chance that interference would occur. She made a mental note to remind Nabiki later what would happen if the date turned out bad, something to do with a mallet and a sparring session in the dojo. "Ranma, do you know why you went into Nekoken so easily yesterday," Nabiki asked. "Not sure," Ranma shrugged. "Akane said you were worried or nervous about something before it happened. Why was that?" "I... I was going to ask Akane on a date," Ranma admitted. [All three reviewers gasp.] Akane paled. She had splashed Shampoo for glomping onto to Ranma. She shook her head. [Rile: Akane should always think twice before she splashes...] ------------------------------------------------- -Wensday evening A small white and purple cat approached the Tendo home cautiously. The cat went over her plans carefully in her mind, [Yuriko: Oh no... this is gonna be bad...] Shampoo crept though an open window in the back of the house and searched for Ranma. As she approached the bathing room she could hear that Ranma was inside. Ranma was soaking in the bath, muttering to himself, "Why did she have to get upset about it? I ate half of it before I threw up. Hell, I even said she had improved." He then noticed neko-Shampoo as she entered the room and stuttered, "C..C..C...C...CAT!" [Rile: Run boy!!] Shampoo sauntered toward Ranma and jumped onto the ledge of the bath. She was about to jump in when she heard Ranma utter, "Meow." Her thoughts reeled at this, She did not finish her thought as Ranma sent her flying into a wall and knocked her out cold. [Yuriko: Whoo hoo!!!] "Meowr," Ranma uttered as he sniffed the air. He moved to the door and edged it open and exited. He went upstairs and straight towards Akane's door. He pawed at it trying to open it. [Rile: Aw man... this is gonna be kinda foul.. I can feel it...] Akane, hearing what she thought was someone knocking at her door, yelled, "Go away!" Neko-Ranma did not obey, rather he crashed through the door. He looked up and saw that Akane was clad only in panties and a bra and was about to put on her pajama top. [Alex: Uh oh... Rile: Dish ish veny bad.] Akane had her back to the door and turned to Ranma, starting to shout, "Ranma! Why did.... OH SHIT!" She now noticed that Ranma was nude and his stance was indicative of a cat. As if to answer her fears, he uttered, "Meowr." Her mind raced to figure out what to do. [(Rile and Alex are fidgeting madly in their seats, while Yuriko is shaking her head.) Rile: Run Akane!! Alex: Jump out the window!!] Neko-Ranma, however, knew what he wanted to do. He took note of the strange cloth that would prevent him from doing what he wanted, and so with a swipe of his hand turned Akane's panties into confetti. [(Alex's clip flies off his nose and the torrential nosebleed begins.) Rile: I gotta learn how to do that... Yuriko: Pervert!! *WHACK* Rile: ...sorry... it slipped.] "Ranma NO!" Akane yelled. But, Ranma's cat mind was determined to show how it felt, and pounced on her. She fell face first and was pinned to the floor by Ranma's weight and there was no means for her to get any leverage. "No! Stop! DON'T DO THIS!" Neko-Ranma started nibbling the end of her short hair, like a cat preening another cat. He forced her legs apart, and jammed his penis into her dry opening. Akane cried out in agony as her maidenhood was torn apart. She nearly collapsed in pain as Ranma started to thrust in and out of her. [Rile: *squirm* Alex: *twitch* Yuriko: *vomits on Rile* Rile: Ick. Paper towel, please!!] Akane thought. Tears ran down her face. "Please stop, Ranma... Stop! Bad... bad kitty..." [Yuriko: That's sad...] Akane gave up struggling against him. There was no way to get him off of her until he finished and his body relaxed, and nothing she was saying was getting through to him. The only thing she could do was to try and get at least some pleasure out of this. Shortly after she stopped fighting, her love juices started coating her interior and the pain disappeared. She started to feel some sensations building up in her... but before she could really experience anything, this hot substance started filling her. "Damn you! You couldn't even get that right!" She freed her arm from his now relaxed grasp and swung an elbow behind her, sending him flying across the room into the wall, head first. He collapsed, unconscious. [Yuriko: Old habits die hard, I suppose... Rile: Damn vomit. Yuriko: Sorry.] She sat there and began cry. She wanted to know why this happened to her. Why couldn't anything be normal between her and Ranma. Why... Her thoughts were cut short as she heard, "Meow?!" She was furious when she saw the source of the noise and gave a bestial, angry shout of, "SHAMPOO!!" Akane with mallet o' smash in her hands attempted to make Shampoo a cat pancake. Shampoo decided now was a good time to leave and dodged Akane's attacks and leapt out the bedroom window. [Yuriko: Kitty go bye bye.] The release of anger allowed Akane to recoup a little. She decided to drag Ranma down to the bath so they could hopefully be cleaned up before anyone got back. She grabbed her gi and a pair of panties first. She knew she was going to make gravel out of some bricks after she was done in the bath. Once in the bathing room, she tossed Ranma under the shower. She returned to the changing room to take off her bra. She heard Ranma begin to stir. "Huh. Akane," he said as Akane turned around. He didn't really notice that she was naked, because of her tear-streaked face. "What happened?" he asked. "Sh-Shampoo was here as a cat and..." she began as she looked down. Ranma noticed now that Akane was not only naked, but had blood mixed with cum running down her legs. His mind reeled at the sight and looked at himself and noted his penis was covered in blood and cum. "Oh, KAMI-SAMA NO! I d-didn't..." he cried, hoping what he thought just happened didn't. But Akane replied, "You did." "I-I-I'm sorry. I.." "Ranma. Please just clean yourself and leave me alone." Ranma quietly did as she asked. Once cleaned, he went to the changing room and started to say repeatedly, "I'm so sorry." [(The lights come back up as the picture fades.) Writer: Alright guys, that was chapter one of the fic. What did ya think? Yuriko: It's good. It's not a sex-fest. Rile: I like it. Connecting Ranma's behavior in the Nekoken to his true feelings is a great idea. Alex: ...nosebleeds bad. Rile: What do you think about the fic so far? Alex: Oh... it's good. Writer: Ok, take a break, and then be here in about half an hour for the rest of the post... Rile: Gotcha... where we going? Alex: Snacks. I'm hungry. Rile: Let's go... ======================================================================== Ok, ok... I couldn't help myself and I had to do an MST. It may suck, but hey, I couldn't help it. :) Great fic, unfortunately I couldn't MST the whole thing in one post. I will before the day is over, though. See ya. --Adam Griffin http://www.griffworld.com BOOKMARK IT OR SOMETHING! :-)