Yello, everybody! For those who have been paying attention, in the attached file (I know, we all hate'em, but it's a neccessary evil) is my MST teams review of Ill Met by Starlight, which I've had the distinct pleasure of reviewing ever since Chapter Eight. What along, strange trip its been, eh? Some of the humor is a bit obscure, especially if you haven't been paying attention to the FFML's local politics lately, but what the heck, give it a read. Ja, everybody, -Mercutio "A plague 'a both your houses!" Once upon a time, in a place that may or may not have ever actually existed outside of my own head, there was a man who had far, far too much time on his hands, and he was becoming rather bored. Fortunately, this man commanded a rather large and powerful Fanfic studio, based in a complex that was almost but not quite a complete rip-off of the Biles' Story Command Center. And one day he was surveying a room in his complex. It had a large movie screen that was readily adapted for fic viewing, big, comfy plush couches, snack-filled refridgerators, and two of the man's lackeys were in it at the time, arguing over which one got the good couch. The man had just finished watching a certain show featuring two bickering robots and a human reviewing movies. Suddenly, he had something to do with his spare time. And just for the record, HE gets the good couch. Submitted for your approval.... LST1/2K: Lunatic Science Theatre 500. Starring, in no particular order.... Hikaru Gosunkugi: Yes, we KNOW we're portraying him OOC. We just don't give a damn. Mercutio: Whose quest for the ultimate tempban will never end. Mackie Stingray: Obligatory pervert MST'er. You know how it is. -Begin LST1/2K- Mercutio: Allright kiddies, lets party! It's time for yet another installment of..... > -------------------------------------------------- > ^_- I L L=09M E T=09B Y=09S T A R L I G H T ^_- > -------------------------------------------------- > by Susan Doenime and Mike Loader Mackie: Hey, wait a sec, if this is by Mike, shouldn't our review be a 'Blame Mike Loader' Production? Mercutio: Hmm. You DO have a point. A 'Blame Mike Loader' Production. Hikaru: Hold on; why should we blame Mike for our craziness? This MST is the result of our own sad, sad natures. A 'Don't Blame Mike Loader' Production. Mackie: EVERYTHING crazy, sick, or messed-up in fanfiction is Mike's fault! That's common knowledge! A 'Blame Mike Loader' Production. Hikaru: Hey, there are LOTS of crazy things that aren't Mike's fault! A 'Don't Blame Mike Loader' Production. Mercutio: Umm, no, not really. Remeber when he suckered everybody into thinking that he and Lara Bartram were going to get marrie= d? Hikaru: That was NOT his fault! Lara just forgot to change her sigline after "A Faint Hope" came out! A 'Blame Lara Bartram' Production. Mercutio: But he didn't deny it either! We actually went out and bought them a GIFT before we found out it was a sham! Plus, Tai and Lawson and Zen helped them maintain the deception!! A 'Blame the Other Writers' Production. Mackie: Hang about. Mike and Lara..... AREN'T getting married? Hikaru: No. Mercutio: Not as such. Mackie: So..... that would mean that Lara is available, right? A 'Blame the Perverts' Production. Hikaru: Oh, like YOU have a shot with her! Mackie: Hey, I think we'd be cute together! Mercutio: All RIGHT. Everybody shut UP. Here, how about this: A 'You Might Want To Possibly Consider Blaming Mike And/Or Lara For This, And Anybody Else You Think Might Be At Fault Like Susan, But If Not, That's Okay' Production. Hikaru: Sounds good. Mackie: I can live with that. > Chapter 12 - The Tempest Mercutio: You know, now would be a really really good time for an actual quote from 'The Tempest', but I can't think of a damn thing. Hikaru: Lost that "Complete Riverside Shakespeare" volume, eh? Mercutio: Bite me, stick-boy. > The guilty get no sleep > In the last slow hours of morning > Experience is cheap > Should've listened to the warning > Into temptation > Safe in the wide open arms of Hell. > - Crowded House Mackie: "....." Hikaru: Ummmmm........ Mercutio: O....kay...... > Jensson turned green, choked back a surge of vomit, and > once again staggered to the head. It wasn't easy; the deck was > doing a pretty good impression of a teeter-totter. He almost > wished the ship would just sink and put him out of his misery. > > Another wave rocked the vessel, and he hastily retracted > the idea. Then he threw up. > > Gleeful laughter came from a few bulkheads down. That > would be the weather researcher, delighted by the unexpected > squall. Stupid bastard probably didn't care if the damn thing > sent them to the bottom or not. Mercutio: Ah-HA!!! So THAT'S where Kodachi's been for the duration! At sea! I should've known! > He pitied the poor bastards in Japan, because that's > where the thing was heading. And it was going to be a lot > worse when it got there. This was just the fringe of it. > > There would be at least one death, he supposed. It was a > big storm. Mackie: It would appear that Mike & Susan's 'slightly rusty' irony is making a comeback. > Jensson threw up again. Hikaru: I didn't need to see that. > ^_- > > Ranma frowned slightly, then pressed down. > > A shriek erupted from Kasumi's lips, and she tried vainly > to pull her hand away. Ranma's grip might as well have been > made of iron for all the good it did her. > > "It's okay, Oneechan," Akane said, fighting down the urge > to cry. Kasumi's eyes fastened on her almost gratefully, the > stretched look of pain still trying to shape itself into a smile. > Akane felt ill; why could she just either be the same old > unflappable Kasumi, or a normal girl who'd just been hurt? Mercutio: Because if she were, we'd be completely spared a heartwrenching and dramatic internal monologue. Mackie: Duh. > "Hmm. Very nice of her. And skillfully done, too." Ranma > glanced over to Akane. "Akane, I'm going to need you to hold > Kasumi's arms for me." > > Nodding, Akane moved behind her older sister, embraced > her from behind, and looped her arms around Kasumi's, her > hands clamping down on wrists in a viselike grip. "Okay. > Ready." > > "Akane... I don't know..." Kasumi's voice was as close to > shrill as she had ever heard it, and the arms she held began to > struggle. > > "It's going to hurt a little, Oneechan, and then it'll be > better." It was just like when she hadn't wanted to take her > medicine when she was little, and Kasumi had to make her take > it. Only now it was the other way around, and she was the one > who knew best. Poor Kasumi. > > "No... Akane, let go of me..." > > Ranma smiled reassuringly at Kasumi, and stepped > forward. "Don't worry, Kasumi-san. I'm very good with > dislocations." His hand gently closed over hers. "This will hurt. > Go ahead and yell if you like. Try not to move too much." > > "Akane... Akane, let go, please Akane..." > > Ranma's hand closed. > > "Hold her," Ranma said quietly. Akane's grip tightened > further, and she braced herself. > > "No... no..." > > A hideous grating sound, bone sliding against bone, and > suddenly Kasumi was screaming and struggling, fighting her > sister's grip. Akane bit her lip and held on, trying to keep > Kasumi from moving too much. > > There was a sickening pop, and Kasumi went limp. Hikaru: You have to wonder, why the hell would Akane let Ranma do this sort of thing? He's not a doctor. He's probably never had any kind of formal training in first aid outside of what you pick up in martial arts. They've got good'ol Doc Tofu down the street. HE should've been the one to do this. Mackie: There are two very good reasons. One, this Akane is completely and utterly without an ounce of common sense when it comes to Ranma. Mercutio: And Two, this is set in the Manga universe. Doctor Tofu Falls Down an Open Sewer and Dies about halfway through. So he's not around anymore. > "What... is she okay?" Akane asked, frightened. Her older > sister slumped back against her, murmuring in a low, > miserable whisper. > > "Yeah. I popped the joint back in. It's gonna be stiff and > swollen for a while, but it'll be back to normal in a month or > two. Probably hurt a lot, though." He smiled slightly. "Kasumi's > not like us, and she doesn't know pain as well as we do. She'll > be fine, with a bit of rest." > > "Did you hear that, Kasumi?" Akane said gently. "It's all > over. You don't have to do anything else." > > Kasumi mumbled something inaudible, leaning against > her. > > "Why don't you take her up to her room and tuck her back > into bed?" Ranma suggested, glancing towards the stairs. "I'm > gonna change back to male form, and then we can discuss this." > > She nodded, and wrapped a comforting arm around her > sister's waist. "All right. Come on, Oneechan. You'll feel better > after some sleep." > > A low whimper came from her sister's throat, and Akane > felt a bit of moisture form along the edge of one eye. "We're > going upstairs now, you and I. Up we go..." Slowly, allowing > Kasumi to lean on her, she guided her sister's unsteady legs up > the stairs, down the narrow hall, and into the clean, spotless > room. > > Kasumi allowed herself to be put under the frilly sheets, > and stared at the ceiling, unblinking. For a short while, Akane > sat down next to her and held her hand. > > "Close your eyes and go to sleep now, Oneechan," she > finally said. "You'll feel better tomorrow." > > Her sister kept her eyes fixed on the irregular white > expance of the ceiling. > > "I want Nabiki," she said. Mackie: Don't we all. RRowwr. Hiss. Mercutio: Thank you for that completely tasteless attempt to lighten the mood there, Mackie. > Akane gave her hand a final squeeze, walked out the door, > down the stairs, and through the connecting hall to the dojo. > For a few seconds she simply stood in the long, darkened > training hall, breathing in and out. > > Then she screamed, a long, painful shout of rage, and > slammed her fist down into a concrete block. It fell apart in > jagged fragments, clattering to the ground in a shower of dust > and pieces. Mackie: Feisty. I like that. Mercutio: Don't make me hurt you. > ^_- > > Ukyou woke, stretched, and groggily struggled out of her > futon. She couldn't remember the last time she had slept that > deeply; it was all she could do to keep her eyes open, and it > was almost nine already... > > On the other side of the room, she saw Shan roll over, > mutter something in Chinese, and go back to clutching her > pillow. She chuckled; the bloodthirsty Amazon didn't look half > as fierce while asleep. > > Picking up her own pillow, she tossed it at Shan's head. > "Up and at em, lady. We've overslept." > > The Joketsuzoku snarled irritably, pushed the pillow > away, and then sleepily clambered out of her bedding. "Aiyah. > Is too early." > > "Is almost nine. Get some clothing on." > > Shan nodded sleepily. It was a good thing, Ukyou decided, > that she wasn't really a boy. Apparently the Amazon liked to > sleep in the nude. Mercutio: Er, ah, Mackie, yer drooling on the sofa. Mackie: Hunh? (whipes drool from chin) Oh, sorry. Just, y'know, Shampoo, sleeping, not a stitch of clothing on, her soft.... feminine curves.... covered only by.... thin blanket...... Owwwaaaaahhhhh Hikaru: You're doing it again, perv-boy. Mackie: It's a good fantasy, dammit! > Did Tsen? Mackie: Well THAT pretty much killed my mood. > She irritably pushed the thought away. It had certainly > helped wake her up, though. > > Ducking into the bathroom, she exchanged the clothing > she had slept in for a fresh boys' uniform. Maybe Shan had all > the natural modesty of a rabbit, but she had a gender to > conceal. And even if she didn't, she didn't think she would be > comfortable wandering around in the nude anyway. Mackie: Who cares about YOU?! What about ME? What about MY needs? Mercutio: Your needs are illegal in thirty-seven diffferent countries. Mackie: Thirty-six. Trinidad and Tobago count as one country. > As always, the chest bandage caused her to wince as she > retied it. Maybe when this mess had been settled... maybe after > everything was over, she could throw it away and just be a > woman again. > > After Ranma and Akane were happy together. > > She swore. Why the hell was she feeling so jealous? > Ranma wasn't exactly the ideal catch; he had some serious > problems that needed to be worked through. If it weren't for > the fact that she knew what he had been before, and for the > chemistry that she could feel between Akane and him... if it > weren't for that, she'd pity Akane. > > At the same time, she had practically tried to screw him > in the bathing room the other day. Mackie: Can we get a playback of the shower scene, please? Hikaru & Mercutio: NO. > Damn it, she did feel something for him. But not love. > Affection, a little bit of raw lust mixed in - after yesterday, > that would be hard to deny - but not love. > > So why did she feel almost resentful towards the two? > > Maybe because they had something, and she didn't. > Because they had someone who really cared for them, and she > didn't. Because as messed up as Ranma was, she got the=09 = > feeling that he'd walk over hot coals for Akane, and vice versa. Hkaru: Or possibly DRAG her over hot coals. > "Face it, girl, you're still just pissed that he ran out on > you," she told her reflection in the mirror. Then she brushed > her teeth. > > After she had finished, she strolled out towards the > kitchen. Maybe Kasumi had already made breakfast. > > She hadn't. > > There were plates of... something... on the table. If > Kasumi had cooked it, Ukyou would eat her spatula. > > Ranma and Akane were sitting at the table, staring > glumly at the food. She assumed it was food. > > "Hi guys," she said brightly, falling into the male voice > almost unconsciously. "What's for breakfast?" > > Gingerly, Ranma picked up a fork and poked the glop on > his plate. "Well... Akane tried, I give her that. And it's a pretty > complex recipe..." > > "I'm the worst cook in the world," Akane burst out, > depression oozing from every pore. "I was trying to make > omelets, but I think the mayo went bad, and the chocolate > syrup caught fire as I was heating it..." Mercutio: For those of you wondering, chocolate syrup and mayo can be used in an actual omelette recipe. If you omit the mayo and add extra syrup, it's even pretty good. Hikaru: Merc, that was a lame joke. Mercutio: I wasn't joking. They call it a chocolate omelette. There's a restaurant nearby that serves it. The Village Cafe, Fairport, NY. At least, I think they still serve it. it's been awhile. > Ukyou walked over and sniffed the glop. Her olfactory > buds withered. > > ^_- > > They stood in the dojo, stance neutral, facing each other. > The morning light filtered down on them through the walls. > > "Are you sure you're up to this, Ranchan?" > > He gave a short bow. > > The combat spatula swept up into a ready position. > > Well. > > She lashed out with a one-handed overhand swing, the > wide blade scything down towards his head. As it descended, > her free hand sent a barrage of throwing spatulas cutting > through the air - not towards him, but along the paths he > would need to take in order to dodge her main weapon. > Ranma stood there, allowing the shuriken spatulas to > pass him by. Then, just before the blade could touch him, he > sidestepped, grabbed, and twisted. > > As she stumbled, gasping for breath, her legs were swept > out from under her. A foot planted in her stomach speeded her > descent to the mat. > > Ukyou lay on the floor for a few seconds, retching from > the flour and the blow to the stomach, forcing herself not to > cry. Get revenge on Ranma. Spend your whole life training to > defeat the boy who left you. Gee, look how much good it had > done her - she had only been completely defeated in six > seconds. > > "Another match?" > "You don't ever relax your damn guard, do you, Ranchan? > You have to trust someone sometime." > > "Sometime. Not now." > > She shrugged. "Akane would be a good start, you know." > > Ranma gave her an odd look. "Maybe in the future." > > Ukyou sighed. "Look, do you honestly think Akane would > ever try to hurt you?" > > The crooked smile came out. "We'll see." > > She threw her hands up in mock frustration. "Okay, okay. > One last thing, though... I understand you two are formally > engaged. Have you given any thought to making the=09 > com= mitment more... I don't know... personal?" > > His smile grew. "Yes. I've thought quite a bit about it." > > "Good!" she said, pleased. "Gonna propose to her?" > > "I'm going to seal things between us by the end of the > week. I've been looking forward to it." > > "I can imagine," she said, trying to analyze where the > vague sense of wrongness she felt was coming from. Mercutio: Oh gee. Could it possibly be the vague, ominous import of his no-doubt carefully crafted non-response? Hikaru: Either that, or Akane's cooking is still with her. Whichever. > Ranma studied her curiously. "And you don't object to > your fiancee choosing someone else?" > > Ah, that would be it. "Not really," she said, flushing. > "Look, that thing in the bath... that was just something that had > been building for a long time. I guess I couldn't decide whether > or not I should love you or hate you." > > He chuckled. "Which did you decide on?" > > Ukyou smiled. "Neither. I'm going to count you as an old > friend, and enjoy seeing you and Akane together." > > The smile that appeared was different from his usual > kind, was far more like the six-year-old she had known. > Wordlessly he hugged her, his head resting over her left > shoulder, his arms loosely around her torso. > > "Just relax," she said soothingly, moving her hands up and > down along the back of his chest. "Relax. It's all right." > > His head rose from her shoulder, and they looked at each > other for a long time. No masks, no illusions. She was > surprised by the pain, and by the fear. And something else, > which she could not put a name to. Some jagged need... > > Slowly, she lifted his hand and placed it inside her tunic. > > "She doesn't need to know." > > It was an offer of comfort. There would be no > commitment, no promise of a relationship, no request to build > new ties or break old ones. It was simply an offer to be less > alone and hurt for the moment, together, and they both knew it. Mackie: Ah, comfort sex. Gotta love it. Hikaru: Oh, like YOU'D know anything about it. Mackie: Hey, I'll have you know that the phenomenon known as 'comfort sex' is a fairly well-documented and commonly used plot device. Examine, if you will, Misato's aborted proposition to Shinji in Ep. 23 of Evangelion, and you'll find tha- Mercutio: Thaaaaaaat's enough. Gos, stop baiting Mackie. Mackie, you can give us your lecture on the History of Perversion in Eastern Entertainment later. (pause) And besides, she hit on the penguin immediatly after, so it doesn't count. > ^_- > > Koji had known Nabiki. > > Akane sighed. He had obviously known her very well. His > hurt was not quite as raw as her own had been - how could it > be? - but the sight in that room had caused him a great deal of > pain. > > He might have been one of her friends or connections. > Nabiki, she knew, had acquaintances from America to Zaire > who she kept in contact with via letters and email. "Business > is connections," she remembered her sister telling her once, > "And the more people you know, the bigger you are. I'm going to > cultivate my contacts before they become rich and famous. And > some of them will, believe me." > > Although Koji didn't strike her as the sort Nabiki would > associate with. He was about as likely to be a future leader of > business as Kasumi was. > > There was one area - one horribly plausible area - which > made perfect sense, though. And that was the business of > Ranma. The business of getting rid of Ranma. > > Akane shuddered. No, Nabiki would never do that... she > didn't like Ranma, that had been clear, but to help kill him... > > "Hey. You okay?" > > Ranma walked slowly into the entry hall, the dim light > pooling around him. She sagged, looking up at him with tired > eyes. > > "I just got back from the hospital. Ranma... I found Koji in > her room, crying. She knew him. I think she was working with > him." > > He sighed, a long, slow, sad sound, and nodded. "She was." > > Akane stared at him, a sick feeling building in the pit of > her stomach. "You knew?" > > His eyes refused to meet hers. "She... she was helping > them. The Ooni Temple was her plan, and she and Tsen were=09 = > the ones who arranged the trap at the Ichishi Building.= .." Mercutio: I like how even Ranma buys into the "Nabiki: All Powerful Puppet Master" stereotype by assuming that everything is her doing. It helps to illustrate that he's NOT the omnipotent badass supervillain he's been cast as so far. > "Why didn't you tell me?" she said numbly. Nabiki, poor > Nabiki, Nabiki the attempted murderer and person who had > kidnapped her... her sister... how could she... > > Ranma met her eyes. "After the accident... I didn't want > to hurt you. She was your sister, and I wanted you to remember > her for the good things." > > "Good things," she repeated dully. > > "She did... she did love you, you know." > > "I know," she said, tears sliding down her cheeks. "I'm > sorry, Ranma, I can't blame her, I can't hate her, I love her too > much and now she's gone..." > > He hugged her fiercely. "You don't have to hate her. No- > one's asking you to." > > Lightning flooded the hall with light, and a crash of > thunder echoed through the hall, ringing in her ears long after > the noise had faded. She leaned against his body, tears > coursing silently down, trying to push away the feelings of > betrayal. Nabiki... > > "I love you," she finally whispered, the words meant both > for Ranma and her sister. > > His arms tightened around her torso, and he met her gaze, > his eyes burning pools, reflecting her own. > > "Tonight." Mercutio: The night! The BEAUTIFUL night! Hikaru: Uh-uh. And what if Biles happens to read that. Mercutio: Bite me, stick-boy. > ^_- > > The waves roared. > > Tsen was getting tired. > > But the top was in sight. Just a few more feet... > > He reached for the next handhold, and then a wave > slammed into him from the side, and he lost his grip. > > There was a moment of sheer terror as he fell, > weightless, and then a hand clamped around his arm, pulling > him into the cliff. As he hit, he grabbed for a handhold, > ignoring the coral that bit into his skin. > > Ukyou, off balance from his grab, cried out and fell. > > With all his strength, Tsen swung out in a kick, aiming > his leg towards the other boy's falling body. Ukyou saw it, > reached out, and clamped his hands around the limb. > > The fall had set them back a few feet; but from their > new position, he could make out a opening in the rock. Bone > tired, knowing that he would lose his grip as soon as the > adrenaline rush began to fade, he climbed for it as quickly as > possible. > > The opening turned out to be the mouth of a cave. > It was damp inside, but relatively dry. Tsen didn't think > that the water would rise this high; it would probably be safe > to stay here. > > "We... we wait here," he mumbled, a bit woozy from the > exertion and the fear. "Til storm gone." > > He was somewhat surprised when the other boy placed a > hand on his arm. "Hey. Thanks for saving my life." > > "You save mine first." Which was the truth. Ukyou had > done what a man should do, putting his life down for a comrade > without thought or hesitation... so much different from the > soft city people... > > They were looking at each other now, and he felt a > certain stirring in him. Mackie: Helloooooooo, what have we here? Looks like a little pseudo-yaoi action. > Was this wrong? He wasn't a man.. well, he was, but he > wasn't... No! He was a warrior of the Joketsuzoku and NOT a > man, despite law and curse and anything else... a woman... > > He leaned forward and gave Ukyou a quick peck on the > lips. There. Mackie: Let the release of sexual tension BEGIN! > Something odd moved in Ukyou's face, but he did not move > away. Instead a hand reached out to move along Tsen's chest, > tracing the flat muscle... wrongly flat... > > Frustrated by the urges his body was sending him, he > leaned forward aggressively and kissed Ukyou again, not a peck > this time but a hard, full thing. It was returned and the kiss > became an embrace. > > The cave seemed to dim about him as the unfamiliar > urges became a screaming need, hormones and adrenaline and > fatigue bearing them both to the floor of the cavern. In a fog he > felt his clothing fall away, felt Ukyou grasp him, guiding him > inside. As he entered her he dimly became aware that the > person under him was no man, but by then such distinctions > had ceased to matter. Frantically he thrust over and over and > over again, heard Ukyou make soft cries as he bore down, > mindless, controlled solely by instinct and need and reflex... > > There was an eruption of some sort, his body went taut > and convulsed, and then he felt himself falling, falling into a > moist, wet, watery blackness at the bottom of the ocean. And > then there was nothing. Hikaru: And thus we witness the fine art of writing a lemon scene that isn't REALLY a lemon scene. Mackie: I hate that art. > ^_- > > Akane lay in bed, half-asleep, unable to take the final > step into slumber. > > Tea in the afternoon, as the rain poured down outside. > Warm, steaming bowls swirled slowly, sipped, the hot liquid > savored. Wind and rain and thunder outside, unable to enter, > their very presence making the house seem warmer. > > An offered bowl, the ritual examining of tea leaves, an > offhand joke. A easy, happy laugh. > > Sitting together, no tension, just warm tea and rain and > a cozy room. > > Dinner, Kasumi almost cheerful again, the dinner made by > three people. Chopping vegetables. An onion, juggled to=09 = > impress her. A sheepish look when it fell. Hikaru: Now would've been a perfect spot for Ranma's patented knife trick. > And then to bed. > > Tonight. > > What did it mean? She had nodded when he spoke the > word. Tonight. What did she mean? What did she want it to > mean? Mercutio: Geez, Akane, buy a CLUE. Twelve Chapters, and so far all the salient plot foreshadowings have flown WAY over your head. > She closed her eyes. > > Tea in bowls, and the patter of rain on the window. > > Tonight. > > She opened her eyes, knowing, and looked up. A shadow > stood at the foot of her bed. > > Lightning, and before the thunder pealed, Ranma. In a > light robe of white linen, the outline of his form clear beneath > it. > > He stepped forward, the robe rustling softly, and climbed > to the surface of the bed. She watched as he made his way > forward on his knees, arms and legs on either side of her, until > his face hung in shadow before hers. > > He lowered himself down onto her, and kissed her. > > Akane let her hands move under the robe, brushing across > his skin, and one by one the buttons of her top were removed. > The lips were moved to her right breast, and she gave a low > sound of pleasure, watching him in the flashes of light from > the storm. > > The robe fell away, ripped by her hands, and she felt her > pajama bottoms be pulled away. Ranma raised himself, and in a > swift stroke of lightning she saw what protruded from > between his legs, daggerlike. Mackie: I could've done without THAT simile, than you very much. > He pushed down, and entered her. > > The pain was minimal. Years of daily highkicks had long > since removed the obstruction. What discomfort there was > seemed to add spice to the incredible sensation, as their > bodies began to move, and the thunder echoed, and the wind > howled and shrieked above their cries... > > At last, she thought, the world thrusting into her, filling > her, impaling her. At last. Mercutio: For the record, according to Mike, the alternate title for this is "Chapter 12: Everybody Copulates Like Bunnies." (pause) Maybe this should have been a 'Blame Mike Loader' Production, after all. > ^_- > > Tsen woke. > > For a long time he knew nothing, stared in disorientation > at the rock about him, the lightning searing occasional flashes > into the cave. And then he looked down at the woman beneath > him, the woman he was still mounted upon, the woman whose > legs enfolded his in the embrace of lovemaking. > > The woman. > > Ukyou was a woman. Mercutio: It's not a man, it's a mask, baby! Mackie: Oh sure, call ME a pervert, then turn around and rip off Austin Powers. THAT'S fair. > He had done THAT with a woman. Mackie: Stop complaining, dammit!! You SCORED! You should be happy! > A sob escaped from his lips. That was it, then. He was > male. He had rutted like a man with the first woman he could > get alone, emptied his seed into her, and fallen asleep. Just > like a man. > > Jyusenkyou had won. Hikaru: Ranma holds out for several years: Shampoo buckles in a matter of months. THAT makes a lot of sense. > Some things are worse than death, Cologne laughed in his > mind, sneering at her great-grandson. You may find this one of > them. > > ^_- > > Thunder rumbled, low and sullen in the distance, and his > eyes flicked open. > > Akane lay nestled in the curve of his side, the dim light > playing across her nude form. They had slept and woke four > times, the moans giving way to the breathing of sleep, moving > together in a haze of sleep. Like a long dream. > > His hand stroked lightly through her hair. > > They were young, and as fit as anyone their age could be, > and their lovemaking had been much like their sparring > sessions. Mackie: Would it KILL them to give some details? Mercutio: You really want an answer to that? > She smiled slightly in her sleep as his hand slipped down > along her neck, tracing the curve of it. > > The rain had pounded an accompaniment. > > His hand softly formed a semicircle around her throat, > his fingertips brushing lightly against the hollows of it. > Slowly, gently his other hand moved to trace the inside of her > thigh, lingering briefly among the short, tangled hair. > > His eyes glowed with something, and his heartbeat > quickened. > > Second by second, with infinite slowness, his hand > tightened. Its mate moved up along her stomach, tracing along > the muscles, until it came to lie above her heart. To feel the > beating of it. > > His breath came shallow and fast, his eyes widened > slightly. Muscles tensed. > > Akane gave a soft sigh, stirring in her sleep, and pressed > against him. > > His hand tightened, tensed, and then slipped away from > her throat. His ring finger lingered for a second on the very > hollow of her neck, feeling the veins and arteries pulse > beneath the skin, and then moved on to stroke her hair. > > Ranma smiled, relaxed, and waited. Hikaru: This is REALLY starting to resemble a curious amalgam of Basic Instincts and Fatal Attraction. > ^_- > > Ukyou awoke, cold and stiff, and smiled. Last evening... > > Maybe it had been unplanned, at the spur of the moment, > and unadvised, but it had been incredible. And she couldn't help > but feel it marked the end of her decade-long life as a boy. No > more bandage. Not more pretending. She was a woman. > > She stood up, and froze. > > "Good morning," Mariko said, smiling in a friendly > fashion. "You've just won an all-expence paid trip to an island > resort. I'd advise coming quietly." > > "I promise not to hurt Ranma or Akane," Shan Pu told her, > eye shining with a cold, hard light. "Not say anything about > lying bitch." Mercutio: Well, you know what they say: we always hurt the ones we love. > Ukyou shrugged. "Guess I have no choice." > > She stood up, arranged her clothing, and then whipped her > spatula around in an arc. > > There was a scream, the spurting of blood, and a brief > glimpse of Shan holding her hand, screaming in fury and pain. > And then Mariko's umbrella slammed into the side of her head, > and all was blackness. > > ^_- > > It was the day after, and Akane was walking. > > She had woken up in his arms, the air clean and fragrant, > the sparrows in the yard calling to each other. She couldn't > imagine a better way to awaken. > > It was the most wonderful thing, and it would be hers > forever. He would be hers. > > Nerima was clean, silent, cleansed by the storm. Fallen > branches lay on normally immaculate lawns as she passed, the > air still, charged, waiting. It was like the first day of > creation, unsullied and new. A new life. > > She would leave Nerima today. For a long, long time. This part=09 = > of her life was over. She had passed a threshold, and now > her fate and Ranma's were irrevocably joined. They would > stand or fall together, for the rest of their lives. > > "Tendo Akane?" > > She turned. > > "I've got a package for you," said Hikaru. "It's from your > sister. From Nabiki." > > -< End of Chapter 12 >- Mercutio: Enter the incredibly convenient plot device! What lies inside the mystery box? Hikaru: Go Hikaru, with the last-minute save! You the MAN! Mackie: Of, you're just happy because somebody with your name actually has a backbone and cunning. Hikaru: Hey, the Voodoo counts as cunning. > Coming Soon: the finale of Ill Met By Starlight > Chapter 13 - The End of the Matter Hikaru: Seems a shame to end it. I was really starting to get into this. Mercutio: Don't worry; IMBS will live on in crossover and elseworlds form. > C&C Welcomed. -End LST1/2K- Reviewers Notes: Just to clear up some details, the omelette scene was NOT a joke. There is such a thing as a chocolate omelette, and it is served at the aforementioned restaurant. There's been some confusion over that. I also was not kidding when I mentioned that Mackie and Lara would be a cute couple. I think it would work. The idea popped into my head when I met Lara (briefly) at Otakon, and would not go away. Stop staring at me, dammit! Thay WOULD!! Think about it!! Really, think hard! I have to run now, before evil Lara from Dojo Raider II comes and does things to me.