A Real Man...

>WARNING: This story contains frank and vulgar discussion of sexual promiscuity, abuse of controlled substances, and other offensive behavior. If you didn't like the first draft, this version will make blood come out of your ears. You'd better not read it ...

{SD-Frank}: "Pah. I've 'ad worse...have at you!"
[SD-Justy] : "Heh. If I can survive Angel of Darkness II then I can survive this, no problem."
{SD-Frank}: "That bad, huh?"

>I've made substantial changes, mostly additions, since the first draft. This version includes a script-style lemon scene and, believe it or not, poetry!

{SD-Frank}: "Hmm..poetry in a fic to go along with the Mad Passionate Sex? What's next, elevator music..?"

>[LEMON] Ranma 1/2: A Real Man
(second draft)
by Doughboy

{SD-Frank}: "Doughboy...is that not the name of a great fanfic author or what? ^_^"
[SD-Justy] : "Let the lascivious prose of Pillsbury begin!"

>I couldn't believe what was happening. Akane was standing at her bed, with her right foot on the floor and her left up on the mattress.

{SD-Frank}: "She's doing the Hokey Pokey, Striptease style!"
[SD-Justy] : "Can't wait 'til she shakes it all about."

>Already stripped down to her undies, she had unhooked her left stocking from the straps on her garter belt and was rolling it down her leg, slowly and seductively, like a model in a French TV commercial.

{SD-Frank}: "I thought it was the Australians who had the racy commercials..."

>The picture was perfect, except for occasional wobbling on Akane's part, thanks to all the punch she had downed.

{SD-Frank}: "Woo-hoo! Ranma and Akane were at a frat party! ^_^"

>I should have thrown the punch bowl - no, the whole buffet - out the window as soon as I found out that Kodachi had crashed Ukyou's party. Since I had arrived early and eaten my fill before Oyaji and Jiji could hog all the food, I was pretty much done munching out before the Black Rose showed up. Anyway, whatever she doped the food up with had reduced everybody else to various states of hallucinogenic madness.

{SD-Frank}: "Yep, defniitely a frat party...^_-"
(NOTE: Frank does not condone alcoholism or frat stereotypes - so don't sue ^_-)
[SD-Justy] : "That's right kids alcohol is bad, be a designated driver! That way you can take some liquored up girl for a drive somewhere ^_-"
{SD-Frank}: "See? We can be funny _and_ give good wholesome advice at the same time! ^_^"

>Ukyou had reverted to her boy-act, speaking in a low, gravelly voice, smoking a cigar, and hefting her "package" in derision.

{SD-Frank}: "I guess she was trying to hit on the girls, too.."
[SD-Justy] : "That's the cool thing about being a bisexual, when you strike out with one sex, you can try out the other.

>Mousse cried in a corner, whimpering something about his mother. Ryouga crawled around on all fours, grunting and squealing and eating whatever spilled on the floor. Shampoo lost her accent and spoke impeccable Japanese.

{SD-Frank}: "I suppose they all saw cool swirling lights and flying purple monkeys, too..."
[SD-Justy] : "It must be a flashback of all the LSD that their parents did in the 60's.

>But Akane's reaction was by far the most surprising.

>The drugs had turned my iinazuke into some kind of nymphomaniac. She flirted with all the guys at the party, blowing kisses and dancing dirty.

{SD-Frank}: "Isn't that "Dirty Dancing"? Where's Patrick Swayze?"
[SD-Justy] : "Akane Tendo stars in 'Lambada: The Forbidden Dance'".

> I decided to get her out of there as soon as she started doing a striptease for Kuno, who had been following me around much of the time, bowing and scraping and begging my forgiveness. All the way home, Akane was putting her hands all over me and trying to kiss me. "Baka!" I scolded. "You're high as a kite! It's Kodachi's shit talking.

[SD-Justy] : "Well ya know they say that drugs and alcohol loosens pre-existing inhibitions. Who knew that Akane was such a lustbucket? Where does the KTF stand on this?"
{SD-Frank}: "It's her stuff, the goods, the Mary Jane, the rocks...and the KTF, AFAIK, is ok with it as long as Ranma and Akane get together. Woohoo!"

> You don't mean any of this!" No, she protested, I love you, I want you, I'll be a kawaii wife for you ... blah, blah, blah.

>I wanted to do the upright and noble thing, but all Akane's attentions had Little Ranma standing at attention and somehow, he had convinced me to take Akane upstairs to her room.

[SD-Justy] : "Little Ranma? I would think that he would name it the Dojo Destroyer or something to that extent."
{SD-Frank}: "See? He said "Little". It's good to know that in at least _one_ lemon fic, Ranma's not some 12-inch banana... :p"

> My truest intention had been to make sure she fell asleep and to lock the windows and door so Akane couldn't sneak out to screw half of Nerima. But when her dress fell to the floor, I immediately forgot everything that wasn't soft, curvy and standing in front of me.

[SD-Justy] : "Why do I hear a Journey song playing in the background?"
{SD-Frank}: "They ran out of the stock sexy saxophone music they always use in these scenes.."

>When Akane finished taking removing her hose and garter, she reached around to unfasten her bra. Against all my instincts, and in violation of Sergeant Pecker's shouted orders, I reached out and stopped her. "No Akane," I whispered. "We can't do this."

[SD-Justy] : "Sergeant Pecker's Horney Heart Club Band?"
{SD-Frank}: "Too late, pal. This is a lemon. You _have_ to have sex now."

>She put her hand to my cheek. Her big, beautiful eyes shimmered. "Sweet Ranma. Don't be nervous. It's my first time, too." A light breeze blew the through the window, parting the curtains and increasing the moonlight that shone on the two of us as we stood gazing into each other's eyes.

[SD-Justy] : *singing* "I come to you... with open arms..." ... "open legs perhaps."
{SD-Frank}: "Ah...a nice KTF moment...just the way it's supposed to be."

>I burst out laughing.

{SD-Frank}: O_o
[SD-Justy] : o_O

>FIRST TIME?!

>************************************************

>Of course, Akane wouldn't know that it wasn't MY first time, not by a long shot. Hell, it wasn't even my first time in her bedroom. Once, Nabiki had thought it would be a real turn-on to

[SD-Justy] : "Ohh... Nabiki-sama !"
{SD-Frank}: "WooHOO! Nabs is in this one...! ^_^ Now if they put her in character..."

>do it on Akane's bed, always eager to be cruel to her baby sister. When I demurred, the crafty bitch

{SD-Frank}: "Boy, Ranma's a real jerk, ne..?"
[SD-Justy] : "Frankly, Frank, he deserves it!"

> pulled out a betacam cartridge of me and Hinako-sensei doing the nasty that day in detention (not one of my better performances, since the teacher was continuously draining my chi to maintain a body over the age of consent).

[SD-Justy] : "Age of consent? Bah! What's a little pedophilia.."
{SD-Frank}: "YEAH! GO NABIKI-SAMA! That's the way to hook 'em..just like a true businesswoman.." *sigh*

> I brought plenty of towels and asked Kasumi to change Akane's sheets afterwards.

[SD-Justy] : "Towels? That's what the shower is for!"

>Thankfully I've been able to keep it from Akane for all this time, but I'm no virgin. I've managed to get laid on a regular basis (not counting the cat-tongue period ... and I DO mean PERIOD)

{SD-Frank}: "I did _not_ want to hear that..."

>since I came to Nerima. And before that, I fucked girls all the way to China and back. No, Akane, I've done it hundreds of times, with plenty of different girls, and I'm really good at it, too.

{SD-Frank}: *dry voice* "It's nice to know Ranma's _so_ humble. Was this to makeup for him not having a big willie..?"
[SD-Justy] : "Yes... Its definitely a Napoleon complex."

>Now, when I say that I'm a great lover, it's not because I'm a blustering, overconfident, macho jerk. Well, I AM precisely that, but that's not why I consider myself the best lay a girl could hope for. The reason I'm the shogun of the bedroom is this: I know EXACTLY what a chick wants.

{SD-Frank}: *Ricky Ricardo mode* "Ok...'splain.."

>My advantage comes from the fact that I'm the first man in history to have felt exactly what girls feel. I've had the luxury to experiment without humiliating myself or scaring or injuring any girls.

>Before Oyaji dragged me to China, I was just like all the other jerks out there. After all the cajoling, spending, beer, dope, or whatever it took to get a girl in the mood, I used to fumble my way through a scoring opportunity.

[SD-Justy] : "This sounds like a 'before' and 'after' testimonial for an inspirational video."
{SD-Frank}: "He scores better than the Chicago Bears did this year.. -_-"

> You know what I mean: squeezing her tits as if I were wringing the water from a sponge, sticking my finger in her as if I were picking my nose, and then expecting her to be turned on by all this nonsense. No wonder they always seemed so unready when I'd finally slip them the meat and so relieved when it was all over.

{SD-Frank}: "Looks like Little Ranma's a lousy lay..at least he was, or so he says.."
[SD-Justy] : "Why yes SD-Frank! He was a lousy lay before he bought my new video 'Great Sex For Insensitive Jerks Like You!'"

> I can't believe those early girls put up with me. I look around at the kids in my class now and I can't believe that the girls put up with the clumsy shit high school guys do to them at the end of a date.

{SD-Frank}: *Kasumi voice* "Oh my, whatever do you mean?"

>For me, all that changed when I got boobs and a box of my own to play with, to "train" on. Without embarrassing myself, I was able to learn exactly where to touch and how often, how much pressure to apply and when, when slower is better than faster, and vice versa. While Oyaji and I were trying to get out of China without being killed by Shampoo, I taught myself a hundred techniques for pleasing a woman.

[SD-Justy] : "Ranma was blazing new paths in masturbation research!"
{SD-Frank}: "Just goes to show how dedicated Ranma is to his training..."

>I'm pretty much a hunk and that's helped me to score with more girls than the average dumb slob. But after Jusenkyo, girls started coming on to ME with stunning frequency. When we'd first arrived in China, without money or even basic language skills, I couldn't even get girls to share their opium with me. So I had to rely on sloppy seconds with hookers that Oyaji occasionally hired.

{SD-Frank}: "Looks like Genma and Ranma took a "tour of China" O_o"
[SD-Justy] : "Well, you can't blame Genma, people have needs."

>But after I'd been cursed, and I'd begun to understand exactly what it takes to please a woman, girls suddenly found me a lot more appealing. It was as if they knew, somewhere deep down, that I was the one guy in all the world with a fully operational gash. I didn't need any of Oyaji's cheap whores; beautiful Chinese girls were practically throwing themselves at me!

[SD-Justy] : "Just 1 of 101 uses for Chinese Acrobats."
{SD-Frank}: "That's gotta be tough on you after a while, being hit by thrown Chinese girls..."

>It is SO different having girls who really want to be had. They do stuff for you, you know? They want their man to be happy. So as we trekked across the eastern provinces, I had my first deep throat, my first ass, my first titty fuck. I had heard about such things, but knew that with the uptight junior high girls I dated back home, I was lucky just to get their panties off. But now I was having the time of my life in China, swimming in Lake Poontang.

{SD-Frank}: "Ranma's tearing China a new one, it seems...literally..O_o"
[SD-Justy] : "I guess he's partly responsible for their population boom."

>I couldn't wait to get back to Japan. Actually, I didn't even make it that far, leaving a trail of well-fucked island girls at our rest stops across the East China Sea.

[SD-Justy] : "I guess that the rest stops weren't all that restful."

>Ironically, the first Tokyo girl I had after I mastered these techniques was one who apparently felt no need to be pleasured at all. The night after we moved in with the Tendos, I was up late sitting on the roof and doing some blow. Coke makes me horny as hell and twice as impatient, so I jumped down from the roof ready to go out and get some home town pussy.

[SD-Justy] : "Ranma, the hentai crackhead is on the prowl."
{SD-Frank}: "Now we know why Coke is so popular..."

> I strolled around to the other side of the house and noticed the light on in the kitchen. I went back inside to see who was up so late.

>Standing outside the kitchen, I saw Kasumi making a whole lot of food (there was some kind of neighborhood festival the next day). She wearing a very light house dress and, because she was between me and the brightest kitchen light, I could see her voluptuous silhouette through her clothes. Driven by cocaine-inspired lust,

[SD-Justy] : "Looks like Little Ranma is gonna nail Kasumi."
{SD-Frank}: "Cripes, he meant the _drug_? Oopsie...can I return all the Coke I bought..?"

>I came up quietly behind her. In a quick but smooth movement, I bent down to start kissing her neck, cupped my hands over her ample breasts, and pressed my erection against her pillowy ass.

>As ever, Kasumi reacted calmly and sweetly. "Maa! Ranma-kun, do you need some help?"

{SD-Frank}: "Nothing frazzles ol' Kas-chan..."
[SD-Justy] : "She must have been lobotomized at birth."

>If I weren't coked up, her motherly manner probably would have made me instantly limp. But the pocket samurai remained on alert as Kasumi took my hand and led me out of the kitchen and up to her room.

{SD-Frank}: "I'm wondering how many names Ranma can come up for for his "Little Ranma"...is that three already or what..?"

> She sat me on her bed and piled up some pillows behind me, adjusting them until she was sure I was nice and comfy. Then she knelt in front of me, primly removed and folded my pants and shorts, and proceeded to give me head like I've never had from any other girl.

[SD-Justy] : "Hmm... I guess we know why Doc Tofu goes crazy when Kasumi is around."
{SD-Frank}: "Yeah, too bad like, every fifth lemon fanfic attempts to explain why that happens..."

>It wasn't like Shampoo's blow jobs, which are extremely pleasurable, but very chaotic and sloppy, with a wild and bestial fervor.

{SD-Frank}: "Well, what do you expect? She's an Amazon. I bet she bites, too..."

> Instead, Kasumi was so soft and gentle and had such precise timing, knowing exactly when to take me in her mouth and bob her head slowly up and down, when to work me from the outside with her skilled tongue and lips. In other words, she brought to that blow job the same order, the same wholesome joy, and the same sense of duty that she applies to her housework.

[SD-Justy] : "I never thought that I would hear wholesome joy used in reference to a blow job."
{SD-Frank}: "That was a smooth and poetic comparison to a lustful act like oral sex...smooth, very smooth.."

>After a few minutes of this royal treatment, I erupted like Krakatoa. And I couldn't believe it: Kasumi swallowed every drop! Despite the fact that I probably spewed about a pint of peckersnot, she wouldn't let a single slimy drop get on her frilly sheets and house dress.

[SD-Justy] : "I love the interesting use of vocabulary."

>Naturally, I went back to Kasumi for more the following nights, with oneechan gladly blowing me whenever I came to her with a boner. As a bonus, she shared with me some of the bennies she gets by the crate from Tofu-sensei and eats like candy. Nice stuff, but I try to take it easy on downers, lest they leave Mr. Happy too depressed.

{SD-Frank}: "That's four..unless he meant Happosai O_o"
[SD-Justy] : "I don't think so."

>Anyway, soon my martial artist's sense of obligation (read: macho ego) took charge and I decided that I had to give oneechan as much as she gave me. When I told her that I wanted to make love to her, Kasumi replied, "Ranma-kun, that's so sweet!" Something didn't seem right,

[SD-Justy] : "Hmm... Ranma's pecker sense was tingling."

>but I dove right in anyway. We petted for a while and I went down on her, showing off my new self-taught expertise in how to touch a girl. Then I went for the gusto.

{SD-Frank}: "Annnnd..there's Ranma, at the plate, running to home, trying to make the steal..."

>What a terrible mistake.

{SD-Frank}:"Ohh! Out at home...too bad..."

>It wasn't that she was a lousy lay, quite the opposite. Kasumi's snatch was wet, warm, and inviting. We moved well together and she held and kissed me lovingly.

[SD-Justy] : "Then what's the problem? I thought that Kasumi was going to turn out to be transgendered or something."

>Nor was it that my techniques failed. Kasumi came at least four times, moaning softly and melodically then making some quiet and absolutely kawaii little gasps as she climaxed.

{SD-Frank}: "Hmm...then again, maybe he _did_ make it home.."

>It was the look on her face.

>When Kasumi was sucking me off, she never looked me in the eye. And I just didn't pay attention to her face when we were engaged in foreplay. But when we were coupling, we were finally face to face and I was freaked out by what I saw. She stared up at me with her big brown eyes and her sweet little smile and an expression that was ... well ... mindless. I mean, it was like the lights were on and nobody was home. It was like porking a mannequin or a kid's doll.

[SD-Justy] : "It appears that my theory holds true!"
{SD-Frank}: "Nonsense, Kasumi just practices Zen, even during sex."

>I almost lost my stiffy when I saw her joyfully oblivious expression, but I mustered up all my macho bravado, determined to finish the job. I was gratified that Kasumi had so many orgasms. My new skills were proven. Mission accomplished. But that look on her face was a total turn-off: never again. Well, maybe some day, if I'm stoned enough ...

[SD-Justy] : "I wonder he'll get stoned enough to do Cologne."
{SD-Frank}: "I'll probably barf if he does..."

>But I still go to oneechan for head now and then. Since Ucchan and Nabiki never let me come in their mouths, and it's often tough to get Shampoo away from Mousse, it's nice to know I can always come home and put a new coat of whitewash on Kasumi's glottis.

{SD-Frank}: "This guy really knows his sexual metaphors...what, has he got a thesaurus or something..?
[SD-Justy] : "Well I hear that this story was originally based on one of the stories in Boccaccio's Decameron. So it possible."

>After practicing my "anything-goes carnal arts" on oneechan, I took on Tokyo like my dick was on fire and the only water was 16 cm inside the nearest woman. I focused my attentions on other high schools and other wards, not wanting to have to deal with multiple paramours every day at Furinkan.

{SD-Frank}: "Calculating and horny. I guess we didn't know that much about Ranma after all..."
[SD-Justy] : "Truly he is a man of letters."

>It didn't take long for me to re-learn one of life's central truths: Japanese girls are uptight as all hell. I was really spoiled in China, where girls I met had a much healthier attitude about sex (that attitude can be summarized like this: Fuck Ranma well).

{SD-Frank}: *packing bags for China*
[SD-Justy] : "I got the plane tickets. I think that I can deal with living in a collective for unending sex."

> My Chinese sex partners were also much more sophisticated in the art. I swear, girls in China are probably taught exotica like the Mongolian Cluster Fuck

[SD-Justy] : " That was one of George Carlin's dirty expressions not fit for TV."

> at the same time they learn how to cook rice. But most of the sweet young things I bedded after returning to Japan had barely learned the basics.

>So I tried working college girls, but that was a little too challenging. A lot of them felt weird about the age difference and the more open-minded coeds treated me like I was some kind of retard, a sexually advanced idiot savant. I didn't have enough money to see the pros downtown as frequently as I'd wanted. I began to despair, wondering if I'd have to swim back to China for the lusty fulfillment I required.

>Then, in my darkest hour, my life was changed by a beautiful vision, like Moses' burning bush. Except THIS bush was purple.

[SD-Justy] : "He's going to Hell for that one."
{SD-Frank}: "No, Shampoo's hair is BLUE! Even down there...I think..."
[SD-Justy] : " You have first hand knowledge?"
{SD-Frank}: "Not really, I just heard from someone in the WoS (Worshippers of Shampoo).."

>Now, Shampoo is far and away the most exciting lover I've ever had. I have no problem admitting that. Don't get me wrong, I'm not in love with her, though I'd never tell her that (not as long as I want to keep taking cookies from her jar).

{SD-Frank}: "Like taking candy from a baby..."

>But objectively, no girl I know is a wilder, more creative, more enthusiastic fuck than my Amazon dynamo.

{SD-Frank}: "Well, there's that Monica Lewinsky chick...and with all this bragging Ranma apears to be doing, I'm sure he's done her, too..."
[SD-Justy] : "I bet that Ranma and Clinton are pen pals."

>I guess what's most appealing about Shampoo is that her body, in addition to being perfect in every way, seems to be one big erogenous zone. I mean, no matter what part of her I rub, lick, or hump, she has a screaming multiple orgasm.

{SD-Frank}: "Always thought Shampoo was a "screamer"..."
[SD-Justy] : "Definitely!"

>For example, Shampoo's the only one I've ever had or heard of who comes when she's fucked up the ass. When I take a trip to the Outback,

[SD-Justy] : "What? When did we move to Australia?"

> I'm pretty much resigned to the fact that the girl isn't going to get much pleasure out of it, unless I do a bunch of stuff to her tits and pussy with my hands. In fact, it's likely that a girl will find anal sex uncomfortable or downright painful. That's why I would never ask Ucchan to do it that way.

[SD-Justy] : "How sweet... he actually cares for Ukyo."
{SD-Frank}: "How many metaphors for sex can this guy come up with..? O_o"

> That's also why I like to bunghole Nabiki every chance I get (I know, I'm a bastard).

[SD-Justy] : "Ye shall die for that comment!"
{SD-Frank}: "Foul Tempter!!!"

>But Shampoo loves it! She comes every time I do her anally, even if I don't do the bonus manual stuff to her. To Shampoo, there's no difference where I'm touching her. As long as some part of woda airen is rubbing up against her, Shampoo will get off. The girl once came while she was blowing me, for crying out loud. I wasn't even touching her and she wasn't touching herself either. But it only happened that one time, so I assume it was because of whichever secret Chinese potions she brought to the futon that day.

{SD-Frank}: "Yo yo, Shampoo gots da good shit..."
[SD-Justy] : "Ancient Chinese secret!"

>That's another great thing about Shampoo. While her herbal shit and black magic and whatever causes me unending trouble, I'm all for it in the sexual arena. And though Nabiki is a great connection for regular drugs, she's never heard of some of the stuff Shampoo swipes from Obaba's locked cabinet.

{SD-Frank}: "Oh yeah..? You'd be surprised at what goes past our desks in the CoN..^_-"
[SD-Justy] : "The preceeding comment in no way reflects the views of the Church of Nabiki!"

>There was the pineapple-flavored goo she put on her pussy one time. That night, I ate Shampoo from midnight till dawn - stopping only once to smoke some opium with her - and when morning arrived, her cunt wasn't all sore and raw and neither were my lips.

{SD-Frank}: *Tony Tiger mode* "It tastes grrrrrreat!"
[SD-Justy] : "I suddenly have the craving for a tuna sandwhich right now."

> And there was that powder she put in my sake. It must have turned half the fluid in my body to semen, because I came about a dozen times that night. I shot huge loads in her mouth, in both her holes, between her tits, in her hands. Shampoo was soaked from head to toe. I'm surprised she didn't transform.

{SD-Frank}: "If she did, then this would turn into that fic 'Nekophilia' " *shudder*
[SD-Justy] : "I hope she's on the pill."

>You know what else turns me on? When we're doing it, Shampoo starts to forget how to speak Japanese. The more excited she gets, the more Mandarin (and regional dialect) she cries out. And she talks all through sex, praising and encouraging me in her rapid sing-song way, as if she were reciting the Nekohanten menu while she greases my pole.

{SD-Frank}: "Hah! Little do you know that Shampoo is really crying out her _other_ lover's name..." *insert shock music here*

>To my exasperation (and secret delight), Shampoo gets a special kick out of screwing in public places. And when you're talking about two world-class martial artists, "public places" doesn't mean alleys, parked cars, or amusement park rides. We've done it atop a moving monorail, skiing down a slope, and hanging upside down from the observation deck of Tokyo Tower. All in broad daylight.

>And, obviously, Shampoo will do almost anything I can think of and has a knack for inventing stuff I could never conceive. Remind me sometime to tell you about the Trick with the Chopsticks, the Diagonal Doggy Position, or even the dreaded Rear Admiral.

{SD-Frank}: "Shampoo's got a copy of the Kama Sutra around.."
[SD-Justy] : "It was probably an ancient Amazon instruction manual."

>The only escapade Shampoo has ever refused was a tryst with my girl half. Now that's weird, because plenty of far less experimental lovers, like Ukyou, are turned on by the prospect of doing me both ways. Maybe Shampoo feels some residual hatred for girl-Ranma, but more likely she's homophobic. Anyway, the one time I tried to come to bed as a stacked redhead, she snapped her legs shut and ordered me to hit the showers. Go figure.

[SD-Justy] : *Shampoo mode* "Shampoo only want see Little Ranma."
{SD-Frank}: "I'd rather not..O_o"

>I first did Shampoo as part of that harebrained "almost kill girl-Ranma" deal I worked out with her to protect Akane. Even though I was scared shitless that cold water would splash on me from some unexpected source (as it usually does), it was the best lay I had had to that point.

[SD-Justy] : "Too bad it he didn't get splashed with cold water."

>But it was also a costly lay. Because Shampoo hates Akane so much, she insisted that we do it on the roof above Akane's room. Scared that we would wake Akane (just as Kodachi did that time), I tricked Shampoo so that we were actually a few meters away from Akane's room.

[SD-Justy] : "Wow, Ranma you sneaky devil you, feh."
{SD-Frank}: "Whaddaya know, Ranma's got a brain in that head of his.."

>Right above Nabiki's room. Oops.

{SD-Frank}: *sweatdrops* "Ok, scratch that..."

>An expert in clandestine surveillance, Nabiki had her video camera set up and recorded the whole hour-long fuck and suck session with Shampoo. She confronted me with the evidence after Shampoo left for China, which was wise, since Shampoo would have felt no reservations about killing Nabiki.

{SD-Frank & Justy]: "Well, if that happened we wouldn't have any reservations about killing Shampoo...kyaa!"

>I was working out in the dojo when Nabiki approached me and informed me of the new addition to her private video collection. The heartless bitch

{SD-Frank}: "Hey, you! You...you can't call her that! Why I oughta..."
[SD-Justy] : "Nabiki, I salute thee, roast him!"

>told me that it would cost dearly to keep the tape out of public circulation. I pulled out my wallet and emptied its pitiful contents into her hand. She scowled at my measly financial resources and started listing all the services I would have to perform to gain possession of the incriminating video.

{SD-Frank}: "Which was released anyway later under the name.."Pamela and Tommy Lee - the Sex Video.."

>Grimly, I agreed to threaten a bunch of nerds at Furinkan into doing all Nabiki's school work, to shake down some guys who were delinquent on their gambling debts to Nabiki, to pose for some outrageous pictures that she would trade for the contents of the Kuno family vault, etc., etc. "Can I go now?" I moaned.

{SD-Frank}: "Hey, he/she moaned. He's enjoying it."
[SD-Justy] : "I wonder want Nabiki will do to totally get him off."

>Nabiki didn't respond. I had been working out wearing only a pair of shorts, and she was staring at me with a look I've seen lots of times before. I knew what was coming. After watching even a few minutes of that video, Nabiki would have to be gay or dead not to want a sample of what she'd seen.

{SD-Frank}: "Geez, Ranma's ego is gonna burst into the viewing area if we don't pop it soon..."
[SD-Justy] : "I will gladly lance that Bubonic boil of an ego."

>"Ranma-kun," she ordered, "you will come to my room tonight after everyone else is asleep."

>I smiled inwardly. I would have fucked her anyway, eventually. Let her think she was blackmailing me.

{SD-Frank}: "Foul Sorcer- oh, whoops, wrong line...!!"

>It was a little after midnight when I tapped on Nabiki's window. She quietly opened it and backed away. Her manner was surprising to me, I had never seen her so hesitant. The look in her eyes reminded me of what I see in the faces of my opponents when they realize how stupid it had been to challenge me.

[SD-Justy] : "Bow before the ego, lest Ranma let his head crush you."
{SD-Frank}: "Ahhh, I could kick your ass anyday, pig-tailed boy..."

>Though she tried to laugh it off, it was clearly Nabiki's first time. Well, I'd busted plenty of cherries before, but this was the first time I'd performed the service for an older woman. I guess that's only fitting since I lost my virginity to a 10th grader back when I was in junior high.

{SD-Frank}: "If it turns out to be, like, Sasami, I'm leaving..."

>Her parents were out of town, and she invited me over to initiate me in the ways of the flesh. It was OK, although there was a scary moment when her little brother walked in on us. I hid under the covers and she told him to get lost, not realizing the long-term implications of her command. I'm pretty sure that he saw my face, and, though he's repressed the memory, that Ryouga will always hate me for poking his sister. Explains a lot, don't it?

{SD-Frank}: "Hey, manga continuity error! Ryouga doesn't have a sister....that is, unless Ranma did himself as Yoiko..O_o"
[SD-Justy] : "Which is quite possible considering the liberties that this fic is taking."

>Anyway, Nabiki tried to fake a confident and haughty demeanor, but the second I started unbuttoning her blouse I could see her start to tighten up and to tremble slightly. With that inauspicious beginning, the event was a disaster. Nabiki couldn't loosen up no matter how much I worked on her, so it really hurt when I entered her. I was pretty sure that I hated Nabiki and what she was doing, but I couldn't help but feel sorry as she grimaced and winced under me. Neither of us came, we got dressed in silence, and I thought that was the end of that.

[SD-Justy] : "Hah! You blew it, jerk."
{SD-Frank}: "You loser! _I_ could have done better than that...errr...I mean..."
[SD-Justy] : "You leave my goddess out of your sick fantasies!"
{SD-Frank}: "You talking to me? Or him? *jerking thumb at screen* ^_^"

>But Nabiki apparently decided that "doing it right" was a matter of pride. About a week later, she challenged me to do it with her again. I said sure, figuring this time I'd waste no time getting down to business. I planned to give her the old wham-bam-arigato-ma'am and be on my merry way. Little did I know that she had spent the week doing a lot of intensive research and talking to expensive consultants.

[SD-Justy] : "Why do I imagine the scene from DragonHalf were Vina is studying black magic?"
{SD-Frank}: "Well, that's our Nabiki-sama for you..always quick to recover from a bad deal..."

>She took me to a Roppongi love hotel. The night started out with a primo blow job. Before I could ask Nabiki how she'd suddenly developed such a great technique, she was demanding that I go down on her. While I was eating her out, she did this cool back arching and writhing around stuff, reminding me of all the aerobics and yoga she does. She displayed more gymnastic ability when we got down to business, wrapping her legs around me in all sorts of amazing ways. In the end, Nabiki was astride me with her knees off the bed and her head thrown back, supporting most of her weight on her arms, her hands on my knees,

{SD-Frank: "Hey, I didn't quite follow that...sounds like Nabiki had more than two legs or something...o_O Either that, or that's a very _very_ painful position.."
[SD-Justy] : "No No No... Your forgetting the various precepts of Anime Physics."
{SD-Frank}: "That's why I'm an English major, Justy ^_-..."

>when I spurted up like a garden hose inside her. Afterward, we laughed about how much things had improved since the first time.

>Since then, we've knocked boots occasionally, meeting at hotels or taking advantage of the (surprisingly frequent) times when we're alone in the house. A favorite of ours is to do it in the bath. Sometimes I'll bring some white poppers along. When I sense that Nabiki's close to orgasm, I break a capsule under her nose. Man, does she go wild. Between the hot water, the soap, and Nabiki's convulsions, it's like fucking in a washing machine.

[SD-Justy] : "I'm sure that he's got plenty of experience on washing machines."
{SD-Frank}: "Similes to describe sex, too...Ranma sure is creative in this story..."

>Nabiki has gotten really good at sex. She practices alot: I think she's laid a lot of best looking guys at Furinkan, probably blackmailing them the way she first got me. She's adventurous and will go along with most anything I suggest, especially if I get a 'lude in her or some nitrous. I still don't like her very much, but I love her well-toned body and her lusty spirit.

{SD-Frank}: "Gee, I dunno whether to ask Ranma to join the CoN or beat him to a bloody pulp..."
[SD-Justy] : "Yah, well I know what I want to do, and giving him a title aint part of it."

>Nabiki has even taught me a few things, and introduced me to the glories of three-way. One time, just for kicks, she decided to play that first video she made of me and Shampoo. Within minutes, we were locked in furious intercourse while still keeping our eyes glued to the TV ...

{SD-Frank}: "Boy, that's gotta leave a nasty kink in the neck..."

. . . . . .

>[INTERIOR.

{SD-Frank}: "Interior of what, though..? O_o"

>The honeymoon suite of a downtown Tokyo hotel. Ranma, naked, lies diagonally across the red satin sheets of a heart-shaped bed, his head drooping over the side. Nabiki is mounted atop him, her knees at his sides, her hands on his shoulders as she pumps slowly back and forth. She wears a lacy white bustiere with matching stockings. Ranma's holds Nabiki's hips and occasionally thrusts upwards in response to her continuous motions.

[SD-Justy]: "Hmm... do they have Holiday Inns in Japan.?"
{SD-Frank}: "Only occasionally? You weakling, you should be able to keep up with her..."

> His hands move across her body, tracing the lace patterns of her lingerie. Nabiki occasionally looks up from their lovemaking to watch the TV. A tape plays in the VCR, showing Ranma and Shampoo coupling on the roof of the Tendo home.

{SD-Frank}: *bad English accent* "And here, we see the wild pigtailed homo sapiens and the cute violent Amazonius femalus, engaging in that wonderful act which we can't really describe, but just get off o- I mean, appreciate in all it's glory..."

>Nabiki stares in awe as, on TV, Shampoo assumes a position that demonstrates her great athleticism and creativity: Ranma is standing; Shampoo faces away from him and suspends herself in the air, her legs wrapped around his hips. With amazing balance and strength, Shampoo leans away from his body, flexing her powerful legs to move up and down on Ranma's penis. Her hands are guiding Ranma's over her breasts.]

[SD-Justy] : "Ranma should change his name to Dirk Diggler."
{SD-Frank}: "Yep, isn't that the Moth Catches the Butterfly position or something...?"

>Nabiki (a little detached from the sex as she watches TV): She's really something, isn't she?

[SD-Justy] : "Well I would say that you're boring her with your "occasional" thrusts."

>Ranma (after moving his head back to watch the TV upside down): Yeah, best I've ever had.

>Nabiki (looks down at Ranma and feigns surprise): Really? Well, I guess I'm runner up then?

{SD-Frank}: "If he says yes, I'll probably maim him later on..."

>Ranma (smiling, eyes looking to the side, as if remembering): Well ... there WAS this girl in Nanking ... (Nabiki snorts and begins to accelerate her motion. Ranma's hands slide up Nabiki's frame and caress her breasts as they sway out the top of the bustiere.) ... and Kurumi's pretty spectacular, excellent muscle control down there ... (Nabiki shuts him up, bending down to put her tongue in his mouth. After a long kiss, she comes up for air.) ... But you're definitely in the Top Ten!

{SD-Frank}: "Yeah. She's at the top...literally..."
[SD-Justy] : "Wouldn't it be great if Nabiki was really an alien. Her nether regions could sprout fangs and chew Little Ranma right off?"
{SD-Frank}: "Yes! Species!"

>Nabiki: TEN!? (Her eyes narrow as she grins slyly.) I don't think the judges have been paying attention.

{SD-Frank}: "Hey, I'm paying attention, doesn't that count..?"

> (She straightens up, still riding Ranma, and reaches to the right to grab a massager that is lying on the bed, then straps the compact machine to the back of her right hand and activates it. She puts the vibrating hand behind her back and reaches down toward where their bodies meet. Ranma's reaction is immediate, and his head jerks back from the sensation.)

>Ranma: AHH! God! That's ... uh! ... incredible!

[SD-Justy] : "You've got to be kidding me! Ranma hasn't used a vibrator before."
{SD-Frank}: "Probably a lot better than that sucking toes thing with Kodachi in that last SDGP story...ick..."

>Nabiki (breathily, her orgasm building): You like? I just made that up! (She sighs heavily and continues doing whatever it is with her vibrating hand and moves her hips in a circular pattern, grinding her pubis against him for a few moments)

>Ranma (grimacing, eyes shut): Oh ... Nabiki ... I can't hold back!

>Nabiki (in an urgent whimper): Then don't!

>[Nabiki collapses forward, her hands landing on either side of Ranma's head. She kisses him as she grabs handfuls of the bed sheet. He grasps her buttocks, pulling him to her tightly and thrusting in earnest. They both moan loudly into their kiss as they climax and the scene fades to ...

[SD-Justy] : *feigning tears* "That was so beautiful."
{SD-Frank}: "There was no mention of the word 'throbbing'. Minus 10 points."

>INTERIOR. Same room. Her lingerie shed, Nabiki is on the bed, lying on her stomach, her chin propped up on her hands, still watching the Ranma-Shampoo tape. Ranma emerges from the bathroom, wearing a grey hotel robe and sniffling a little.]

[SD-Justy] : "I told you Ranma, a shower is a lot better than towels."
{SD-Frank}: "Ranma=Hugh Hefner.."

>Ranma (sitting on the edge of the bed next to Nabiki): You're right. It's really fine stuff. Where'd you get it?

>Nabiki: Same guy. But he got to pick this batch out himself. He was in South America on related business ...

[SD-Justy] : "He wouldn't happen to live in Brazil, a member of the OLA?"

>Ranma: Well, lucky us. (They watch the video silently for a moment, their heads bobbing a little as the cocaine takes effect. On the TV, Ranma begins performing oral sex on Shampoo.)

[SD-Justy] : *Nostradamus mode* "The mistress aview from afar. Amazons performing rituals. The head swells in the pride of the East. Venus, Mars and Jupiter soon to be in climax!"
{SD-Frank}: "Ick, you mean Ranma's gonna do the Sailor Senshi too? O_o"

>Nabiki: (smacks her lips): Mmmm ... I could go for a taste of that.

{SD-Frank}: "What, this Pepsi in my hand? Nahhh, you don't want it, it's flat..." *throws it away*
[SD-Justy] : "Don't lie, you backwashed!"
{SD-Frank} :"Shhh..I wouldn't give it to our dear Nabiki-sama like that..^_-"

>Ranma (brightly): Really? I didn't think you were interested in girls. Shall I get some cold water?

>Nabiki (thinks for a moment): Actually, I'm not so much interested in girls as I am in you AND a girl.

>[Ranma stares straight ahead dumbly as he tries to understand what Nabiki is saying. Nabiki looks at him, amused at Ranma's incomprehension.

{SD-Frank}: "You know, I still can't decide whether Ranma's really smart in this or if he's still a dumb idiot..."

> Her hand, which has drifted to his lap, reaches inside his robe and begins to caress.]

>Ranma (suddenly realizing): Oh, I get it!

{SD-Frank}: "Oy.. -_-"
[SD-Justy] : "Its refreshing to see that the Gift of Reason has been ignored by Ranma."

>Nabiki (still stroking him): That's my boy! What do you say we give Shampoo a call, hmm?

>Ranma: Oh, she wouldn't be interested. Shampoo won't even do it with my girl form; she'd freak if I tried to bring you along.

>Nabiki (scooting closer to put her head in his lap): Leave it to me. I can persuade her to do whatever we want. (She takes his erection into her mouth.)

>Ranma: Oh Nabiki, please, no! (With an cartoonishly audible pop, Nabiki releases him from her lips and looks up questioningly.)

{SD-Frank}: *pop as he pulls the lollipop out of his mouth* "How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop, Justy..?
[SD-Justy] : "If were talking about Little Ranma the world will never know!"

> I mean, please don't blackmail Shampoo. (He gently guides her head back onto his penis, and strokes her hair as Nabiki resumes her attentions.) My life is complicated enough without giving Shampoo a reason to want YOU out of the picture.

>Nabiki (trying to talk with her mouth full):

{SD-Frank}: "Nabiki's not observing table manners..."

> Well ... OK. (She stops fellating him again)

{SD-Frank}: "Wow, he used a sexually scientific term..this lemon has it all, don't it..?
[SD-Justy] : "Nah, he's just getting into the more bizarre terms in the Thesaurus."

> I'm certain I can find a more willing participant. But you owe me a tossed salad, Ranma-kun.

[SD-Justy] : "Tossed Salad?"
{SD-Frank}: "Pearl Necklace?"

>Ranma (wrinkling his nose in distaste): Now?

>Nabiki (grinning and sitting up): No, I'll keep this one in the bank for the next time you get too uppity. For now let's stick to the basics. (She pushes him down onto the bed and straddles his face, taking a last look at the TV.) Purple was never my color, anyway.

{SD-Frank}: *Hicks mode* "Blue! BLUE!"

>[She bends down to swallow him once again, Ranma already having begun his ministrations. The camera moves up and away from the couple to focus on the TV. Before the scene fades, we see that Ranma and Shampoo have also moved into the "69" position.]

{SD-Frank}: *Bill and Ted mode* "Sixty-nine, duuuude!"

>So the next time Nabiki called me to meet her at a downtown hotel, she told me playfully to "get ready to meet an old friend." Knowing that the promised two-on-one would likely be more than I could stand for very long, I jerked off before leaving the house to try to prevent a quick finish when the action started.

{SD-Frank}: "Gee, Ranma's becoming economical...so maybe he does have a brain? ^_^"
[SD-Justy] : "Methinks Little Ranma is beginning to wear out."

>The mystery guest turned out to be one of my erstwhile iinazuke, Daikoku Kaori, with whom I'd shared a quickie in the back seat of her father's car.

{SD-Frank}: *purist mode* "Hey, you can't use her, she's anime-only!"

>I had been a little apprehensive that Nabiki would bring in one of her friends for Furinkan, so I was really glad to see Kaori. I was especially pleased to see her naked and three-fingering Nabiki, the scene that greeted me when I walked into the hotel room.

{SD-Frank}: "It's the three-fingered discount...much more economical than the five-fingered discount.."

>Anyway, my first menage-a-trois was a roaring success and my >re-game warm-up turned out to be a wise tactic, as I barely kept my control early in the session when - for the first time - I felt two pairs of lips simultaneously working the Hooded Avenger.

[SD-Justy] : "Hey since when did Batman get into the action."
{SD-Frank}: "Personally I think this metaphor stuff ran old after he referred to it as "Little Ranma"..."

>Nabiki and Kaori took to each other like they had been lovers for years, and before the evening was over, the three of us (four, counting my girl form) had brought each other to orgasm many times.

>Naturally, both Nabiki and I developed a taste for the threesome, and she's had Kaori flown in a couple of times.

{SD-Frank}: "She flew in, and boy were her arms tired...BWAHAHA!" ^_^

[SD-Justy] : "Boy its a good thing I just refilled my Coke. *dumps white powder all over SD Frank.*

> On occasion, I've invited a couple of my college girlfriends for menage sessions, and Nabiki's friend Minami was also willing. Kurumi turned us down, though Natsume was game.

{SD-Frank}: "Hey, more anime-onlys..."
[SD-Justy] : "I guess that's the main source material."

>Pink and Link rebuffed my advances, probably because the swelling hadn't gone down yet. Nabiki coldly vetoed my suggestion that we let Kasumi play, I guess even she has some taboos. Speaking of taboo, I'm glad that Nabiki hasn't gotten it into her head that she'd like another guy to join us. I couldn't do that.

{SD-Frank}: *sipping Coke* "Good..."

>I think.

{SD-Frank}: *splurting Coke out all over* "That's a window for the CoRR if I ever saw one.." <---Still not a CoRR member
[SD-Justy] : "Only if Ranma is in female form. Any male Ranma and it is no longer sanctioned by the CoRR.

>When Nabiki suggested bringing Ukyou into our private game, I thought it was a good idea. More than any of my "regulars," Ukyou enjoys my girl body and I'd assumed that she had strong lesbian tendencies or - like Kaori and Natsume - was an avowed bisexual. But Ucchan was visibly repulsed when - one night in her bed - I asked if I could call Nabiki to come and join us.

[SD-Justy] : "For all of Ranma's supposed hatred of Nabiki, he sure is with Nabs most of the fic."
{SD-Frank}: "Gee, about time Ranma got rejected for _something_ in this story..."

>She explained that the thought of doing it with a woman, or even in front of another woman (Nabiki loves to watch) made her nauseous. It still doesn't make sense to me, but Ucchan insisted that even when she makes love to my girl body, she thinks of me as a man.

{SD-Frank}: *singing* "I'm a hetero...sexual....I'm a hetero-sexual mannnnn.."
[SD-Justy] : *singing* "He's a lumberjack and he don't care..."

>But that's Ucchan, a study in contrasts. Though Ukyou almost always responds to my overtures lovingly, she almost never initiates sex. A guy likes to be seduced once in a while, you know? And although she's a creative chef and a resourceful martial artist, Ukyou displays zero imagination in bed.

[SD-Justy] : "So much for the Spatula Slut."
{SD-Frank}: "Ukyou's a lousy lay...oh well...^_^"

> It'slike pulling teeth, getting Ucchan to try anything new. I'd like to loosen her up chemically, but she steadfastly refuses to use any drugs, not even grass, which is stupid since she drinks like a fish. And she's a sloppy and depressing drunk, so liquor doesn't help matters at all.

{SD-Frank}: "I think they need the UltraVibe Pleasure 2000..what do you think..?"
[SD-Justy] : "Nah. I would go with the WhoreBuster Deluxe 3500, Ukyo seems a bit on the frigid side.

>And she's a little too quiet for my taste, which is pretty inconsistent with her extroverted and vociferous personality. Maybe I've been spoiled: with screamers like Shampoo and Hinako- sensei, and dirty-talkers like Shiratori Azusa, I've enjoyed having my own personal oendan cheering section.

[SD-Justy] : "I wonder what is her name for Little Ranma?"
{SD-Frank}: "So _that's_ why Azusa seems so brain dead..I guess if you got porked by as horny a guy as Ranma, as often, anyone would be traumatized...."

>Quiet though it is, Ukyou's orgasm is truly a thing of beauty and a primary reason I keep returning to Ucchan's, despite the limited "menu." It's one of the great pleasures of my life, making Ucchan come, watching her face, feeling her body react as it happens ...

{SD-Frank}: "Uh-oh...I feel a poetic interlude coming on..."

> . . . . . .

>She writhes beneath me.
>silent sobs wracking her frame.
>Awed, I urge her on.
>
>Her eyes shut tightly,
>her face a lovely grimace.
>Then she climbs the peak.
>
>The tremors begin,
>radiate from our nexus,
>ripple across her.
>
>When the shudders crest,
>she freezes as if startled,
>then descends, panting.
>
>In repose, she does shine.
>This moment is everything.
>I hold her, my prize.
>
> . . . . . .

[SD-Justy] : "I hear this is how Robert Frost got his start."
{SD-Frank}: "There's your poetry for the lemon. Nicely put in, although I'll bet you Ranma seduced some girl to write it for him, the stupid jock..^_^"

>One time I had Nabiki give Ukyou a talk about lingerie and seduction and all that stuff. She also advised Ukyou to lay off the sake. For a couple of weeks, the sex with Ukyou perked up a little. We even sneaked off to a hot spring together; it was probably the most satisfying weekend I've had since returning to Japan. By Saturday afternoon, I had threatened all the men and she had intimidated all the women, and we had the onsen all to ourselves that night.

{SD-Frank}: "A crossdressing woman would intimidate anyone..^_^"

>Though nothing Ukyou did was particularly inventive, I don't think there aren't many turn-ons more intense than the prospect of fucking on a steaming rock.

[SD-Justy] : "Talk about getting a piece of the Rock."

>Soon after that blissful mini-vacation, however, Ukyou fell off the wagon and swerved back into her boring groove. We pretty much stick to the two basic positions (she thinks doggy style is degrading or something).

{SD-Frank}: "Ukyou's such a prude in this story, huh?"

>Sometimes it seems like giving a blow job is a major chore for her. She likes getting head, but is a little grossed out when I try to kiss her on the lips after bringing her off with my mouth, apparently disgusted by her own goddamn juices.

[SD-Justy] : "Personally I think Ukyo is well within her rights on that one."

>Did you know it took me almost six months after we met to coax Ukyou into giving it up for me? And she has her own place, for crying out loud.

{SD-Frank}: *sarcasm* "Awww...poor Ranma's not getting off enough..how sad..."

> If she were still living with her folks, I might have never gotten in her pants. Whenever we'd get close, she'd insist that we should wait till we're married. As if! In the end, I had to let her know that I was doing it with Shampoo. That did the trick; she hates Shampoo more than Akane does and will not be outdone in their insane competition. Ukyou didn't seem all that surprised when I told her about my lifestyle, though. It's as if she thinks it's my right, as a virile young stud, to get around a little before I settle down. I couldn't agree more.

[SD-Justy] : "I'm so embarrassed."
{SD-Frank}: "He's your "typical" male, all right..."

>I really don't mind that Ukyou's not a great lover. I like just being with her, lying there, talking about all the things I can't talk to anyone else about. Though I wish she was more into sex, I treasure my time alone with her. I ... I love Ucchan. A lot.

{SD-Frank}: "Noooooo!"

>But I won't marry her. There's someone else, you know ...

{SD-Frank}: "^_^ Yessssss!" <---Big time KTF member
[SD-Justy] : -_- <--- Not really caring either way. Nobody deserves to live with this scumbag."
{SD-Frank}: "Well, if it's the Ranma in _this_ fic, I'd have to agree, but hey...^_-"

>*************************************************

>"What's so funny?" Akane asked, still smiling but confused and disappointed that I had apparently ruined the mood.

{SD-Frank}: "Hey, I had forgotten all about where this started...amazing how about 13 pages of thought passes by in, like, 5 seconds..."
[SD-Justy] : "Thats the fun part about dream sequences. The time anomalies."

>"Anoo ..." I stalled, trying to formulate a believable lie.

[SD-Justy] : "Geez. He's turned into Tenchi all of a sudden."

"It's just funny that we spend all our time arguing and fighting, and yet here we are getting ready to ... well, you know."

"Then you WILL ... ?" She looked up at me hopefully. Suddenly, I felt we had reached an epiphany, the moment I had been waiting for since I first came to Nerima so long ago.

{SD-Frank}: *singing* "Hall-le-ju-ahhh.."
[SD-Justy] : "All that practicing, drug abuse, sexual exploits just so he can pass along an STD to his beloved. How nice."

>This was the situation I had thought about all those times I watched Akane secretly, the fulfillment of fantasies I wove even while making love to other girls. I could have her, my true love, finding what I had sought in all those others. At last!

>But ...

>"No," I replied gently.

{SD-Frank}: "Arrrrgh! After having all those girls, you won't do it with AKANE?! You...you bastard! Hold me back, Justy, hold me back..!"
[SD-Justy] : *Gives SD-Frank an AK47 and a determined shove."
{SD-Frank}: *charges, points the rifle at Ranma's swelled head*

>But Akane is different ...

>"We have to wait. I never get a chance to tell you ... or I'm just too stupid to show it, but ..."

>The others mean nothing ...

{SD-Frank} *aiming rifle at Ranma, preparing to pull the trigger*

>"... I love you, Akane."

{SD-Frank}: *calming down* "Ok. As long as you have that..." *puts away rifle*

>But she is my everything ...

>My confession shocked Akane into sobriety. Tears welled up in her eyes. "Ra ... Ranma," she choked. "Do you really?"

>Her virtue matters, her purity is not yet mine to take ...

[SD-Justy] : *Tarkin mode* "Touching, to the last..."

>"Yes, really," I said with conviction, putting my hands on her shoulders. "I love you. I would fight the whole world for you. You make my heart soar when you smile, and when you cry, well, there's nothing worse. I live for the day when it's just you and me, in OUR dojo ..."

{SD-Frank}: *cocking head to side* "Awwwwww...."
[SD-Justy] : *vomits into popcorn bucket*

>Like Oyaji always told me, there are two kinds of girls: the ones you have fun with, and the one girl you ...

>"... and I want to marry you."

>"Oh Ranma!" Akane crumbled, sobbing into my chest. "Me too! .. I love you too."

{SD-Frank}: "Well, at least this thing is ending the way it's supposed to...IMO, of course..^_-"
[SD-Justy] : "And, I'm sure Ranma's going to be completly faithful. What if Akane's a lousy lay?"
{SD-Frank}: "Ha! If Kun-chan has any say in how it turns out, Akane's gonna be a great lay..^_-"

>I held her for a long time as she cried and hugged me tightly. As her sobs subsided, she sniffed and looked up at me again. After a moment, I lowered my lips to hers. The kiss was feathery soft, yet bracing and intense. It was a revelation. We both knew at that moment we were made to be together, that we were husband and wife before we were even born.

{SD-Frank}: "Geez, Ranma's waxing poetic again.."
[SD-Justy] : *grabs SD-Franks popcorn bucket* "I'm gonna need this!"
{SD-Frank}: "Cripes, I haven't even finished the popcorn yet.."

>Eventually, I broke the kiss and stepped away. Suddenly aware of her near-nudity, Akane blushed and put on her robe hurriedly. Never breaking eye contact, I headed for the door and gave my iinazuke a little grin. She returned a smile so beautiful and loving that I almost ran back to kiss her again. "Arigato, Ranma," she whispered. "You're right. We should wait until we're married."

>Well, I never said THAT. Anyway, I winked at her, opened the door, stepped out, then closed it behind me.

>And let out a long and heavy breath. I still couldn't believe what I had done: the right thing.

[SD-Justy] : "Truth hurts buddy."
{SD-Frank}: "He's only realizing this now..? O_o"

> I was filled with pride and the sense that I had realized it was time to stop messing around, time to grow up. Lost in my self-congratulatory reverie, I wandered down the hall. Before I realized what I was doing, I was at Kasumi's door.

[SD-Justy] : "Gonna get some Prozac-girl."

>I was still hard from Akane's come-ons and had come to oneechan's room out of habit, seeking instant, sweet relief.

{SD-Frank}: "Yo yo, donchu make me come up dere, boy..."

>Just as I was about to turn the doorknob, I stopped.

>No more.

{SD-Frank}: "Aw, hell yeahh..."

>I'm a real man now.

>Right?

{SD-Frank}: *sarcasm* "Gee..I dunno..do you think sleeping with more girls'll prove it..?"

>-----------------------

>Author's self-indulgence:

>I hope you liked the script-style scene; that's how I/'m writing the seqel, "The Perils of Akane: A Ranma 1/2 Adult Movie." Hopefully it will have a much more memorable plot and characters than the average porno.

[SD-Justy] : "Bad jazz included?"
{SD-Frank}: "Yeah, this is gonna be an over-the-average porno..whatever that means.."

> Look for deeper development of some of the ideas I just hint at here, along with appearances of lots more Ranma 1/2 characters. I've already outlined most of it, and have written scenes featuring Happosai,

[SD-Justy] : "I want some Cologne action in the next one!"
{SD-Frank}: *grabbing the popcorn bucket back from SD-Justy* "Excuse me. I'm gonna go throw up now.."

>Kodachi, and Azusa, as well as a Nodoka scene that I may be too chicken to use. I think you'll find the Akane scenes very interesting; I'm certain they're not what you expect.

{SD-Frank}: "Hey, as long as it's Ranma and Akane, it's ok, to me..."

*screen fades to black*

{SD-Frank}: "Ah yes, review time...what, you think we were _serious_ back there? Please. ^_^ Anyway, the obvious strength in this is the humor. All those metaphors about Ranma's "warrior of love" just made me chuckle. Plausibility to the overall manga storyline is weak, but after all, this is lemon, so some OOC is allowed. It's good that Ranma happens to deal with most of the Ranma 1/2 females, treating them equally, for the most part. This fic really made me laugh a lot. At the same time, though, the pomposity got pretty old after a while. If Ranma had any weakness in this story I didn't see it, and it would have made the story more entertaining if Ranma got into a predicament more dangerous than him and Shampoo doing it over Akane's room. Overall though, if this was meant to be not serious, and not some big fuck-fest, it succeeded. Well, maybe the second part didn't quite work, but anyway...Justy?

[SD-Justy] : "Well let's see here. My first criteria use of Nabiki. Considering that this was a lemon, I would have to say I approved of her usage. She was pretty much in character and well described. Her good usage is a hefty bonus. OK, overall strong points. The interesting language was funny and I found the descriptions quite humerous. Keeping Ranma's point of view consistant while developing his sexual prowess was laudible. It was also pretty well written. Now for the weak points. Ranma's ego was blown way out of proportion. I know that it is supposed to be that way for the fic, but it doesn't allay the fact that I wanted to throttle him half-way through the story. If that was the author's overall goal then he well succeeded. Also, considering that this is mainly flashback the plot is non-existant. I hope that there is at least a 'porno plot' for the next installment. I would give it a C- but the exceptional usage of Nabiki gives the fic a C+.

{SD-Frank}: "That's all for now...and remember...1 out of every 10 people knows at least 5 ways to describe a man's dink...O_o"

[SD-Justy] : "That is a scary commentary on society at large."