| The Lust Virus (Blackheart’s version) In the outskirts of Japan, there was something that stood there. Something really horrible. It filled everyone with fear. It was… A turtle. And behind that turtle was a manhole leading to a tunnel leading to the underground layer of Dr. Lasexorcisto. Doctor- No. No. NO! NOOOOOOO! The doctor was obviously not thrilled with how the football game he was watching was going. Doc- Damn Chefs! You fuckers suck major dick! He turned the TV off. Doc- Well, might as well get to work. The cast of Ranma1/2 isn’t going to torture itself you know. He walked into the area of the lab where he actually did work, rather than sat there watching bad German movies while playing a game of grab-ass. Inside one of the many jars was a weird looking organism the size of a snail. It was in the shape of a star, and colored purple with bits of green here and there. Doc- Ah yes. The infamous lust virus. Dr. Lustadict had some great times with this thing. Too bad about that gang rape incident with the cast of Trigun. Just then, Ms. Gothnickle (the doctor’s morbid looking personal assistant) walked into the door. Gothnickle- Honestly. I don’t know what you see in that stupid thing. Then again, I don’t know what you see in building Frankensteins either. Doc- Don’t worry. I’ll be getting rid of this thing soon. I’m starting to get sick of Ranma, and his band of idiots! And with this virus, the series will become more and more interesting! He burst out laughing, only to end up getting bitch slapped by Gothnickle. Gothnickle- Need I remind you that Dr. Lustadict got in a shitload of trouble every time he used this thing. Last I heard, he had to endure a male nudist do jumping jacks for half an hour. Doc- That’s Lustadict though. He had a thing for making his work obvious. But this time, I’ll make sure to cover my tracks! Now then, let the virus out! Gothnickle- You do it. You’re hands aren’t tied. Doc- Need I remind you I can fire you without giving you a good reason. SO OPEN THE FUCKING JAR, BITCH! With that, Gothnickle reluctantly opened the jar, and watched the star shaped organism leap out of the jar, and fly out the door. Of course, it crashed into the TV two or three times, and broke the glass, but it eventually found a door. Doc- Damn it! And I only had two more payments before that thing was paid off. Meanwhile, Ranma was in the middle of another argument between Akane and Shampoo. Ranma’s thoughts- Damn, why do I have to be in the middle of every argument? Just then, a mysterious purple star with bits of green here and there flew through the open window, and spotted Ranma. Before he could react, it collided with his forehead, and slowly began to sink into his flesh! Yet Ranma couldn’t feel it. Unfortunately, he soon felt the effects of the virus kick in. Ranma- WHOA! Look at you! Shampoo- Ranma like me! Come here Ranma! Unfortunately, the symptom of this virus causes a man, woman, or child to fall in love with the first thing they see. And unfortunately for Shampoo, it wasn’t her. Ramna ran past her, out the door, and stopped at a tree. Ranma- Oh tree, baby! I LOVE YOU! He dropped his pants and began to hump the tree like crazy! Akane and Shampoo saw this, and stared in amazement. Shampoo- What Ranma’s problem? Akane- I think he finally snapped. Ranma kept it up until he finally ejaculated on the tree. And unfortunately, rather than the traditional sperm cell, that load was full of lust virus copies, which soon imbedded themselves in the tree. Unfortunately, the lust virus had never been tested on plant life. Plant pokemon didn’t really count for some odd reason. Once the load Ranma busted was absorbed by the tree, It began to mutate! The tree became purple, and the leaves began to fill with spores. Which was highly irregular for an apple tree. Unfortunately, Ranma was now on the loose, searching for something else to fuck. Shampoo- Ranma leave us behind! Akane- As if that were bad enough. He forgot his pants! Just then, the tree shot a purple spray at the two girls. And unfortunately, the spray was filled with lust virus! Akane breathed in the spray, unaware of what was in it. Akane- Smells like strawberry. Just then, her hormones went into overdrive. And the first thing she saw was none other than Shampoo. She pinned her to the ground, and ripped off her clothes hungrily. Shampoo- Hey! What you doing?! Shampoo tried to continue, but was cut off with a kiss. And another, and another, and another! But pretty soon, she got bored, and insisted Shampoo spread her legs. And since Shampoo was enjoying it, she wasn’t about to refuse. She spread her legs, and watched as Akane buried her face between them. She inserted her tongue into Shampoo’s cunt forcefully, licking up whatever she could get. Up until the climactic finish. Though Shampoo was practically dazed, Akane went in search of other people to fuck. Meanwhile, Dr. Lasexorcisto was in the process of making a computer program of some sort. Perhaps a computer virus, or Trojan. Or maybe just a cheap rip off of Duke Nukum 3D. Only the doctor knew. Gothnickle walked in, and saw this. Gothnickle- Let me guess. You’re trying to figure out why your E-mail doesn’t work again. Right? Doc- Yeah, you’re a real laugh riot. Ha ha. No, Ms. Gothnickle, I’m doing something else. Something I’ll only reveal when it’s finished. Gothnickle- Heard that one before. Ukio was hard at work making some sort of sea food dish when Akane burst in. Ukio- Akane, I’m cooking today, so don’t even… She was cut off with a kiss. Ukio- Akane, what are… She kissed her again, and attempted to lift up her shirt. But Ukio broke free, and made a run for it. But she couldn’t run forever. Akane eventually got her, and ripped her shirt off! She reached down her pants, and jammed her middle finger between her legs as she continued to kis her. Ukio- Hey! What… Are.. You… DOING? Hey! Cut it… out! Dr. Lasexorcisto finished his big experiment! Doc- ALL RIGHT! It’s finished! Gothnickle- This I got to see. Doc- I successfully managed to do what Dr. Lustadict could never do! I have converted the lust virus into an E-mail computer virus! Gothnickle- I hate to ask but how does it work? Doc- Once the virus is downloaded, all you have to do is sit back and watch as… Suddenly green smoke sprayed from the computer screen. Doc- SHIT! Don’t breathe in! He held his breath, and waited for the myst to clear. Luckily, it cleared away much quicker than you’d expect. Doc- Thank god I didn’t inhail any of… Gothnickle- Oh doctor! Where have you been all my life! Gothnickle tackled the doctor, and… Doc- No. NO! NOOOO! OH YES! YES! Right there, baby! YEAH! Fuck me right, bitch! YEAH! Meanwhile, at the tree infected with the lust virus. Two men wearing gas masks and skin tight black suits, and equipped with chainsaws proceeded to cut the tree down! It fell with a thud, and green myst sprayed every which way. Man1- Damn Lustadict and his virus. I swear, once we find him, I am so going to kick his ass! Man2- I know. I think this tree was the major reason the lust virus is spreading around here. All we have to do is find the people who are infected. Just then, Nabiki, Akane, and Ukio came out of the house with lust in their eyes. Man1- I don’t know who those three are, but I’m getting high lust virus readings from them. The second man withdrew a super soker, and sprayed the three with a red myst. They inhailed, and instantly, they were cured! Nabiki- What happened? Man1- Nothing important. Has anyone been raping anybody? Ukio- Not to my knowledge. Man2- Thank god. We better find that doctor.. Lasexorcisto- Man, I just had the weirdest dream. Gothnickle- Tell me about it. Doc- Well, I dreamed you were infected by the lust virus, and forced me to make love to you. Gothnickle- That’s crazy. Doc- I know. Care to go for round two? Gothnickle- Damn straight! Just then, the two men in gas masks burst through the door! Man1- Okay Dr. Lustad… Wait a minute. You’re not Dr. Lustadict. Man2- Spray them. I’m getting heavy lust virus ratings from them. The first man took the super soker, and sprayed both of them with it. The red myst cured them of the disease. Man2- You should be safe now. Now if only we knew where Dr. Lustadict’s layer was. Doc- It’s over in Spaine I heard. Man2- We already looked there. Doc- Well obviously you didn’t look very hard. It’s over there next to that Britney spears billboard. Man1- Really? Man2- And you said that was a taco stand. Man1- Let’s go! They ran out of the lab, leaving Gothnickle with no clue to what happened, and the doctor with an evil smile on his face. Gothnickle- Oh man, what happened? I don’t… Oh my god! YOU SICK FREAK! She quickly put her clothes back on, and ran out after the two men. Doc- Little do they know that this is only the beginning! |