Any way, enough of my pointless blather, I PHANTOM CROSSING present Chapter two of Ranma ½ Problems Solved: The Lion Blast, the old witch, and the wardrobe

Not more than an hour ago, Upperclassman Kuno had assisted the other members of the unofficial group of people referred to as the Nerima Wrecking crew in pummeling and then depositing and individual named Pantyhose Taro with a local physician, Tofu Ono.  Since then he and his unusually quiet twisted sister, Kodachi, made venture back to their family compound.  The day held much interest for the young Samurai.

For starters he had been told that the illustrious pigtailed goddess he had for so long been pursuing was in reality a mere shadow of a cursed form of his nemesis the dark sorcerer Saotome.  Such was at first blasphemy to his person until he witnessed the long haired Chinese youth who explained such to him go through a similar transformation into a water fowl, more specifically a duck.

Second there was the matter of Saotome's own apparently announced affection for the beloved tigress of martial arts, Akane Tendo.  As well as her own obvious affections for him.  Kuno thought as he meditated in his room on this matter.  If the pigtailed girl was indeed only an illusion brought upon as a curse upon Saotome, at least Kuno could take comfort in the notion that it caused his nemesis noticeable discomfort.  It was the matter of Akane Tendo and her affection for Ranma that now concerned Kuno.

"She seemed happy in his arms.  As he seemed upset for her to see him in the rage of violence from the confrontation with the oddly named bovine man.  Interesting," Kuno thought aloud, "Perhaps there is no spell binding my beloved Akane to Ranma.perhaps my love shown to her all these years has been unwanted and only an exercise in my own arrogance,"

Kuno thought on this a while more before hearing the piercing psychotic laughter of his sister from within the confines of her green house of exotic medicinal and herbal plants.  The place where she frequently grew poisons and concocted draughts to try and take hold of the destiny and lives of others.  The place where she made the poisons Kuno often ingested during his morning meal, most of which he was well immune to thanks to his own conditioning.

His curiosity peaked to as to why his sister was laughing despite her claims to be recovering from a nasty sore throat.

"Sasuke!" commanded Kuno, as a brief blur became a ninja kneeling before him.

"Yes my master," bowed the servant before his master.

"Investigate my sister's activities and report back immediately," Kuno exclaimed, "I fear a foul plot is afoot by my twisted sister's hand,"

"Why ya wanna do dat me kiekie," commented an older man with a Hawaiian shirt and a small palm tree atop his head.

"Father, to what do I owe this intrusion," Kuno readied his bokken.

"If ya wanna be knowing whatcha sistah be doing den look no further than da source o' her new playthings," the Patriarch of the Kuno family stated.

After a brief conversation with his father, and receiving the report from Sasuke, Kuno was left with only one option to his person.  Taking flight towards the Tendo household, Kuno ran at full speed.  Not bothering to secure his sandals he ran bare foot with everything he had.

"Damn you foul woman.  You are," he struggled to breath under the strain of his speeding form, "you are but an insult to our family and our house.  Twisted sister how dare you stoop to such unworthy methods.  I thought you like me would do the thing of best honor concerning the situation but nay.  There shall be a reckoning upon my homecoming from this rescue.  A reckoning!"

Turning and dashing through corners and streets, for the first time realizing that today he had a mission of importance.  Though not in the name of his own love or happiness, it was indeed in the interest of true love and the happiness of a couple he wished would find such.  Now that he realized it was beyond him to interfere in a negative manner of course. This however was a matter of honor for both Akane Tendo and his former nemesis, Ranma Saotome.

Upon his arrival to the front gates of the Tendo household he found it empty and dark.  With no one home he did the best logical thing for a martial artist in Nerima to do, he leapt over the front gate and dashed to the front door of the house, luckily he found it unlocked and in a mad dash brought himself to the home's interior.  Looking left he saw only darkness in the direction of the sitting room, but heard noises of running water and light coming from up the stairs before him.

"So she laid the trap for them in the washroom.  Damn the cunning of that woman.  I should see fit that I try and convince father to disown her!" he screamed running up the stairs bokken at his side.

Upon finding the washroom he flung the door to the laundry/toilet area open to find it empty.  Quickly he opened the door to the washroom portion of the bathroom and stood shocked for a moment expecting to find Ranma and Akane wrapped around each other in the thralls of passion . . . but only found Akane Tendo's pet piglet.  P-chan was teetering at the edge of the furo filled with steaming water.  Quizzically the elder Kuno sibling stared at the pig that seemingly stared back.

"What is the meaning of this swine?" exclaimed Kuno lifting the pig by his bandanna, expecting an answer, "Why are you in this washroom alone. I expected to find Akane Tendo and the foul sorcerer . . .I mean Ranma Saotome locked in the thralls of passion against their wills due to my twisted sister's fowl devices of chemistry and attempted magic,"

The pig's eyes went wide hearing this.  Quickly it wiggled its way out of the bandanna Kuno had gripped, to Kuno's surprise there was another bandanna beneath the piglet's neck.  Once free it scampered and leapt headfirst into the furo with a splash.

"Ah . . . I see.  Akane's pet has witnessed what was transpiring and thought suicide by being boiled alive was the best and only way to be free from watching its master in such an unholy act," Kuno bowed his head for the now most certainly deceased pig.

In a matter of seconds, Kuno's moment of silence for the fallen piece of bacon was interrupted by the sound of a young man escaping the surface of the water breathing deeply the air of life.

"Ryoga Hibiki?" Kuno stated in confusion, "What subterfuge is this?"

"No time to explain!" Ryoga grabbed a towel, "Now tell me again what you mean about Ranma and Akane being under the influence of magic,"

In the Dojo

Ranma's cold and emotionless hands opened the top of Akane's school uniform and were now reaching behind her form to unhook her lace bra.  In turn her left hand had slid down Ranma's pants searching for one thing in particular while her right was pressed firmly against his chest.  Their eyes were still glazed, empty, and wide open.  Their minds seemingly severed from their forms as they where slowly ravaging each other.

No emotion or reaction occurred upon their faces as they played with each other.  Their motions were precise and seemingly trained rather than experimental.  Not once in this entire time had either of them fumbled in their actions with the other.  In their disconnected minds however, a different story was playing itself out.

From the inside, Ranma's eyes had become like a pair of windows rather than his own optics.  He was alone on a mental plane in his mind. The self-image of his-self pressed against the window that was preventing him from controlling his body.  He could see Akane's eyes were like his. He could see a phantom image of Akane inside the glazed over eyes trying as desperately as he was to escape and regain control.

"AKANE!" he shouted slamming his fist against the unbreakable window that was his right eye.

Looking out from her own eye, Akane could see Ranma's plight from within his body.  The situation she witnessed was identical to her own. "RANMA!" she screamed inside her own mindscape slamming the inter- dimensional baka hammer into the still holding wall of glass that was her eye.

They looked out at each other from within their respective prisons of lost flesh and began to cry realizing the hopelessness of this situation.

"Damn it Ryoga . . ." Ranma shouted, "Why didn't you come in here to stop us.  Don't tell me you've actually accepted this!"

Ranma sighed at that notion in a defeated manner.

Akane looked up at the man she loved trapped behind his own eyes. She could tell he was like her in a state of utter defeat and despair.  Her mind raced, after this control was broken up, what would happen?  Ranma was a man of honor . . . and if they went too far before they were to regain control, he would do something drastic.  He never would do anything to truly hurt or dishonor her now that he had made his true feelings known. She thought that he might try to kill himself for disgracing her.

"Ranma," she looked up at him longingly before coming to a train of thought, "Wait?  Why is it always the man who has to be the one who disgraces a woman?  Obviously neither of us are in control of our bodies. And I'd be disgracing him as much as he would be disgracing me.  Damn it why is there always a double standard for men and women!"

She huffed in anger drawing her clenched fist back from the wall of her eye.  Her anger at her love's arrogance during the situation boiled and festered as she continued punching the seemingly unbreakable membrane.

Beyond these mindscapes the bodies were becoming more active. Ranma's hands were gently kneading Akane's now bare breasts while she was fondling his manhood within his pants.  Their faces drew closer and kissed without emotion, eyes still wide and empty as their tongues probed each other's mouths.

"AKANE TENDO!" Kuno screamed looking into the dojo.

"Oh sweet kami, AKANE!" Ryoga screamed as well.

They both were hard pressed to catch site of the two standing in the doorway.  The alleviation of seeing the two present brought them out of their tears in the mindscape and renewed hope for the both of them.

"Yes, were saved!" Ranma exclaimed in the mindscape that was silent to the outside world.

"Ryoga!  Kuno!  Oh for the first time I'm glad they're here to screw things up!" Akane glimmered in her mental space.

The two warriors charged the enthralled but cold couple ready to save the people they cared about.  Kuno had his bokken drawn to place between the two so they could begin separating them without a fire hose.  Ryoga had bandana's twirling on fingers on both hands. To note he had gotten dressed in a spare outfit he had left at the Tendo's should he find himself in the common situation of being there as P-chan.

As they neared within three feet of the passionless couple a crackling wall of green energy emitted from the candle abruptly stopped them.  They were flung back roughly six meters from the two and landed side by side with a thud.

"This is a rescue?" Ranma sarcastically commented in the mindscape.

"Baka," Akane hissed at the failed attempt of a saving from within her own prison.

The two slowly rose to their feet and this time slowly approached the busy handed duo.  Stopping they could feel the wall of energy and went about speculating on how to break it down.

"Perhaps if I keep hitting it with my bokken it will fall," Kuno thought aloud, "Of course I'd have to channel thoughts of my virtuous cause into it so it can stand up to this dark magic,"

"Idiot, something like this is gonna take some major battle aura. Maybe a Shi Shi Hokodan," Ryoga suggested brushing his hand across the green energy wall.

"Fool, such a strike in their direction may injure them.  They aren't even acknowledging our presence, hence I doubt their ability to brace for such an impact," Kuno retorted.

"That is if the attack even breaks the barrier," Ryoga dropped his head.

His eyes caught something as he looked down.  The wooden planks on the floor all ran a decent length, and the one directly beneath his left foot ran all the way to under the candle.  This gave him an idea.

"I have a plan!" Ryoga exclaimed popping his head up.

"Then do tell less we want to see Ranma and the fair Akane consummate," Kuno stated calmly and easily. Ryoga hadn't noticed Akane's breast were uncovered.  And before he could explain his plan to Kuno, Ranma removed his hands from Akane's breasts and moved them down to the waist of her skirt.  This sight caught Ryoga off guard, prompting a nosebleed and unconsciousness on his part.

"What?  Hibiki, wake up damn it!" Kuno exclaimed grabbing him by the collar of his shirt and slapping him, "We haven't much time.  Saotome is removing Akane's skirt and she his pants!"

Ryoga's eyes shot open with a new determination.  One only seen before in his constant attempts to slay his rival whom still regarded him as a friend.  Wasting no time he freed himself from Kuno's grip and pushed him aside.

"Better yet why don't I just show your!" He shouted, "Bakusai Tenketsu!"

Ryoga's finger plunged into the wooden flooring beneath him.  The board shattered down the middle.  The opening rip in the wood ran straight into the space beneath the candle; it fell to its side spilling the crushed dried flower petals in the dish beneath it.  The energy field flickered long enough for Kuno to leap forward, above the suddenly frozen couple, and bring his sword down upon the candle.  The burning wick was cleaved from the wax as the flame was snuffed out in the wake of Kuno's bokken.

Kuno slid his bokken beneath his belt and looked up in triumphant glory.  A glory shared in Ryoga's face as he crossed his arms and smirked with his left canine tooth overlapping his lower lip.

The mindscapes, which were occupied by Ranma and Akane, began to dissipate.  As their minds returned to their bodies, they both lost consciousness and slumped into each others arms eyes closed.

"We are victorious!" exclaimed Kuno.

"Yeah . . . shouldn't we help them up?" Ryoga commented to the now unconscious Akane and Ranma.

"Nay, after what they've gone through I say it best to let them sleep," Kuno said making his way to the door of the dojo.

Ryoga simply looked at Kuno for a moment, and then at the fallen Ranma and Akane.  Ranma's face had fallen between Akane's breasts.  Their hands were both still in the possessions they had been when they began removing each other's lower garments.

"Are you sure.they might think something happened if they wake up like that all alone," Ryoga commented.

"Perhaps you are right Ryoga Hibiki," Kuno held his chin in thought, "But such does not concern me.  I have a family matter that requires my immediate attention and I cannot wait for them to awaken on their own,"

"Then lets just go to the kitchen, get a bucket of water, and wake them with that!" Ryoga demanded.

"I, a member of the Kuno family do such peasant labor," Kuno almost laughed casually holding the handle of his Bokken, "Perhaps you can fetch the needed pale?"

"Are you kidding?  I can get lost walking down a straight hallway. If I try to get to the kitchen I could wind up in Borneo," complained Ryoga, "I'll carry the bucket, you just make sure I get to the kitchen and back,"

Kuno thought about this for a moment and then nodded.

"Very well, Ryoga Hibiki, I shall do this task," Kuno agreed leading the way.

"Hey wait up!" Ryoga called scrambling after him.

Soon after six failed attempts to bring a bucket of water to the Dojo . . .

"So, you are Akane Tendo's pet swine?" Inquired Kuno walking ahead of Ryoga.

"Yes . . . I blamed Ranma for my Juysenkyo curse, which is why I spent the past two years trying to kill him," Ryoga said carefully balancing the bucket, trying to avoid another transformation in the process of transporting the cold water.

"Very well.  You realize I will now have to smite you for your actions as the pig after this debacle is over," Commented Kuno sliding open the door to the Dojo.

"Oh shut up.  Ranma said he was gonna ask me to own up to Akane about everything I did.  Though he didn't ask, he was going to.  And I intend to honor that once I build up enough courage," Ryoga commented.

"Fine, you ready," Kuno sighed.

"Yeah, let's do this . . . I don't think their reactions are gonna be pretty," Ryoga remarked.

"Wait, would this cold water not activate Ranma Saotome's curse?" Kuno inquired, halting Ryoga.

"Well yeah, now let me through so we can get this over with," Ryoga easily pushed Kuno aside.

Ryoga walked towards the unconscious couple.  He held the bucket back and then raised it high as he tilted and thrust it forward.  With a quick splash Ranma-chan and Akane's eyes flung flew wide open.  Ranma tilted his head and looked up at Akane's face which had in turn had tilted down to face Ranma.

To note, neither of them was wearing a top, and Ranma-chan's face was still embedded in Akane's chest.

"Ranma . . ." Akane grimaced.

"A . . . Akane . . ." Ranma developed a fearful look in her eyes.

For a moment they just stared at each other.  Then slowly they turned their heads to face Kuno and Ryoga.

"Greeting Akane Tendo and Ranma Saotome.  First I wish to congratulate you on your recent acknowledgement of love for one another. Though at first I was hesitant in being happy for this I have since come to terms with myself and have made a vow to protect the scarcity of true love in this world," Kuno bowed his head and proceeded out.  But then stopped and turned his head a quarter of the way back to face the group, "Till next we meet as friends rather than foes and unwanted lecher.  I must now face my sister for conspiring against such forces of love now.  But please note, though I condone your right to date with one another, I still think it unwise for youth such as all those present to have anything but a plutonic relationship.  Should the two of you ever decide to do something along the lines what nearly transpired here I hope you will go as far as to inform me or seek my permission.  Saotome, you dare not incur the wrath I will bare should you take from Akane Tendo her virtue.  Farewell,"

Akane, Ranma, and Ryoga just stared at the lone samurai walking out into the Tendo backyard.  His garments flapping and moving with the breeze.  Almost heroic in appearance, Kuno strode out and disappeared into the darkness.

"That was weird," Ranma-chan noted.

"Uh Ranma?" Akane tapped Ranma-chan's head with her index finger; "You mind moving your head now,"

Ranma-chan blushed as she lifted her head from Akane's bosoms. Quickly she sat back and upright on her heals while rummaging around for her red shirt.  Akane in turn putting her bra back on and securing the buttons on her blouse.

"You two should be happy I ran into Kuno . . ." Ryoga commented having averted his gaze after waking the two, "Otherwise I would have left the two of you alone.  Thinking that you were both acting so recklessly on your own,"

"Wait, back up a second bacon breath.  How did Kuno know what was going on here?" Ranma-chan inquired while fastening her shirt.

"He said he learned that his sister was using some of her exotic plants for something more interesting than her usual poisons and mind control drugs.  Something using a bit of mumbo jumbo if you understand what I mean," Ryoga leaned against the wall arms crossed.

"If Kodachi was behind this whole thing then . . ." Akane bit her lower lip and her eyes began to tear up, "Why would she do this if she wanted to break us up.  Why would she have us . . . do what we were about to do?"

Ranma-chan looked at Akane and gripped her hand.  Her eyes cried without shedding tears.  They were eyes begging for forgiveness from Akane for the transgressions she had committed.

"Akane . . . if I had done anything too you that couldn't be forgiven," Akane rested her head against Ranma-chan's chest, "Akane . . . I killed for your once.  I don't like how it made me feel, but for you I'd do it again.  Even if to restore your honor I would . . . I would-"

"Don't say it Ranma," her tears fell even harder, "Don't say you would kill yourself for me.  I don't want you to die.  Don't say you'd kill yourself for me Ranma.  I want you by my side, always,"

Ryoga could do not but look on.  He had always feared rejection from Akane, and the thought of it welled his depression up within his soul. This was different.  She wasn't being mean to him or rejecting him directly, she was professing her love for another man.  Albeit that man was at this particular moment a woman, but to her she was still him, and the curse didn't matter.

"Akane . . . it's alright.  If that's how you feel then I wouldn't do it," her next words were warm in heart, "So dry those tears you tomboy,"

"Baka," she hugged her even tighter.

{So.this is it.  Akane loves Ranma and Ranma loves Akane.  I should have seen it sooner.  They have something deep and truly pure; they just fought so much I never noticed it.  Perhaps . . . perhaps I looked to Akane because she showed me kindness, not reaching out with love.  She's always tried to be my friend and I've always betrayed that trust as P-chan.  I can't come clean to her now.  Damn you Saotome . . . why can't this be your fault?  I need to clear my head before I talk to her again.  I need to be a real man to be able to tell he the truth.  And in truth maybe I won't be a man until I tell her.  Oh damn it this is so confusing!  Think brain, think!} Ryoga's mind was in turmoil.

Akane and Ranma-chan watched in confusion as Ryoga seemingly struggled with himself, pacing, shaking his head with his hands, and acting in a panic.

"Uh Ryoga.  Are you alright?" Akane inquired standing up and reaching out to him.

"Fine!  Fine!" his voice hit his nervous and shaky high pitch; "Ranma, you and I need to talk, alone, and man to man,"

Ranma-chan shook his head and got up.  A short while later he was male and standing opposite Ryoga alone in the kitchen.  They both had serious looks on their faces.  Almost as if they knew what was about to transpire.

"So after all I've gone out of my way to do to you, you still consider me a friend?" Ryoga inquired.

"Sure, is that all?" Ranma cocked an eyebrow.

"No . . . I need you to ask me to do something," Ryoga hung his head.

"Huh?" Ranma narrowed his gaze.

"Ask me to tell Akane the truth.  Ask me so you won't have to betray your honor!" Ryoga shot his head up with eyes wide, elbows bent, and fist curled in a manner that his open palm would have faced the ceiling.

"Ryoga.  You already know what I'm going to ask," Ranma laughed, "Why do you need me to say it?"

"Damn you Saotome.  Just ask me already!" the fanged youth demanded of his rival.

"Fine.  Ryoga, please tell Akane the truth about her pet pig.  Tell her the truth about your curse," Ranma declared in a voice that wasn't loud enough to leave the kitchen, "If you are a man of honor then you will do such by my request,"

"Not today, not for a while.  First I have to come to terms with myself.  Ranma, I'm gonna go away for a while.  On a journey of training and growth for myself," Ryoga turned his head to look out the window, "When I consciously come back to this place then I'll be ready to tell her.  If I accidentally come back before then, promise you'll send me skyward in a direction away from this place,"

"Sure, anything for a pal," Ranma said extending his hand to his fellow martial artist, "So when you heading out?"

"At first light.  I'm gonna need to borrow a backpack and some provisions," Ryoga took Ranma's hand and shook, "Promise me one thing. You'll do everything you can to keep Akane safe,"

"I always do . . . one thing though," Ranma was about to joke, "Want me to have Mousse on hand when you tell her, his chains might be helpful,"

"Don't joke . . . good night man, I gotta pack," Ryoga laughed.

Later in the evening

Akane's family and Mr. Saotome had come home late at night. Apparently they had received a set of coupons good for a free night at a decent restaurant and they'd gone out for a free meal.  Upon their return and hearing the tale of the evening's events, Soun broke into tears that fell like waterfalls.  It was a in this that Genma noticed Akane and Ranma were sitting abnormally close this evening, and even sensed they were holding hands under the table.  He did not think it wise to tell Soun at this moment that things were looking up for their aspirations for the joining of the school were looking so good.

"If it weren't for Ryoga and Kuno I don't think I could ever forgive myself for what I was about to watch myself do to Akane," Ranma sighed.

"What about me.  I don't think I could have forgiven myself for doing that to you," she suddenly remembered the emotional annoyance she had on the mindscape she had earlier occupied.

"Akane?"

"You were about to deflower me, but in turn I was about to deflower you baka!" Akane huffed, "It is such a double standard.  Yeah I know its because in that kind of situation a girl can get pregnant but it would have still been us taking each other's virginity both against our will.  And because of that neither of us would be at fault.  It wouldn't be rape on Ranma's part or mine, but on the part of whoever set it in motion.  And in this case it would be Kodachi Kuno who I'm gonna mallet!"

Akane produced the inter-dimensional baka hammer and slammed its head down into the floor and leaned forward with both hands upon the butt of the handle.  The obvious vein in Akane's forehead and showed exceptionally well.  She didn't want to talk about it any more than she just had.  She was only furious because she felt like crying; she had to mask the way she felt.  If she talked about the specifics anymore, she hoped her little outburst would settle the subject and it did.

"Uh . . . Akane?" Ranma whimpered looking at the rage in Akane's eyes.

"Yes Ranma," she noted looking down upon him, slightly calmer.

"You're crushing my foot," he motioned to his ankle protruding out from beneath the mallet.

Akane flushed red and laughed idiotically as Ranma had done on frequent occasion.  Quickly she lifted the mallet and returned it to nothingness, then quickly turned her attention to Ranma's foot and ankle.

"Are you okay?" she inquired with an overwhelming amount of concern.

"Yeah, I'll be okay," he said rubbing his ankle.

"Regardless it is then agreed that you two will be having a word with her.  I wish you both luck," Ryoga rose up and walked towards the stairs, "I've got packing to do.  I'll see you all again, when I'm ready,"

They all looked after him as he walked, with a confidence not seen in his step for some time now.  His journey would be on long and arduous, whatever he would face it would be faced alone.  Ranma watched and had but one thought going through his head besides his pained foot.

{He's gonna get lost in the hallway again,} Ranma thought.

Sure enough, twenty minutes later he returned to the sitting room by way of the outside sliding door.  He was limping on a walking stick and seemed to be covered in fresh scratches, dirt, and bits of plant matter.

"A little help?" he whispered before passing out.

The next morning

After they watched Ryoga walk off alone from the front gate, Ranma and Akane stood a moment longer watching him disappear into the light of the rising sun.  They stood there alone for several minutes watching the distance he had walked in before he paced by them in the same stride from the opposite direction he had set off in.  He turned to look at them before his face faulted to the realization of the direction he had gone.  He apologized profusely to set off again.  Ranma and Akane went inside after five minutes.  Ryoga walked by the front gate again.  He cursed his luck and then broke out into a run in any old random direction.  In the next half-hour he ran past the front of the Tendo household seven times.

After that half-hour he found himself alone in the middle of the city.  Now here he knew his journey would finally begin.

"Farewell Nerima.  When next I return, perhaps I'll be a true man," He turned to walk away and found himself falling through an open manhole cover.

His head slammed fast against the concrete lining of the sewer drain that would normally be filled with water.  However this place was dry and had no watery flow.  He looked around to gain his bearings only to find darkness on all sides save for above.  Finding no ladder for him to scale, he was left with getting up onto the underground catwalk besides the empty underground canal.  Thinking only of how to find his future and his own nature.

"Before I return, I will find what I seek," he coughed trudging onward.

The next morning on the way to Furinkan High School

"Hey Ranma?" Akane asked looking up towards the fence.

"Yeah Akane," He looked at her and smiled.

"I'm sorry about yesterday . . . you know," she looked down and bit her lip.

"Hey don't be," he leapt down and walked beside her, "It wasn't your fault.  And besides, we'll get back at Kodachi for this,"

"It doesn't make sense though, magic isn't her style," Akane rested her head against his shoulder.

"Let's not worry about it now.  Just promise me you won't go to far on getting her back for this," he moved his arm over her shoulder while still holding his bag, "Maybe you should bake her a plate of cookies,"

He laughed and then stopped to look down at her.  She looked angry but somehow still content.

"I miss it," she said bringing one of her hands to meet his on her shoulder.

"Miss what?" he asked in a sudden confusion.

"Our little arguments, our little fights, and the way we always played off of each other," she ran her fingers over his, "Insult me. Please do that, I know this sounds weird but looking back on two years, it was kind of fun,"

She moved his hand so it rested on her cheek.

"Gee . . . and here I thought I wouldn't have to put my foot in my mouth anymore," Ranma joked.

"Baka hentai," she said leaning closer to him.

"You are so uncute," he moved his hand that was already on her cheek, caressing it.

"Hmm, I might have to mallet you for that one," she giggled.

He suddenly stopped looking.  It looked as if he had suddenly developed a long and intense train of thought.  She looked up at him in wonder of what he might be thinking.

{Oh no, did I touch a nerve with that one?} Akane wondered fearfully of Ranma's recent stillness.

Starring straight out for a moment, he looked down at her and finally spoke.

"Where the hell do you keep that thing anyway?" he asked that which he had been curious of since his first days in Nerima.

"I . . . I don't know," Akane honestly answered.

"Huh . . ." he responded in slight dismay.

Ranma's eyes narrowed and focused on a small bush in the same instant it ruffled.  In a matter of a tenth of a second he positioned himself between the bush and Akane and took a defensive stance for her protection.

"Alright, whoever the hell is there better come out right now!" Ranma commanded.

"Ranma, what's going on?" Akane inquired quite unaware of Ranma's siting.

Slowly from the bushes a figure began to rise.  Wearing the traditional blue school uniform of Furinkan High School the figure was slightly hunched over.  The blue fabric hung loosely from his thin and pale form.  The short black hair atop his head and the dark lines beneath his eyes stood out in great contrast to his almost apparition appearance.  He was obviously faking his laughter because he knew that on this day he was in a great deal of trouble.

"A . . . Akane, Ranma; how's it going," Hikaru Gosunkugi was barely able to say his words.

"You've got less than a minute to explain what you were doing in those bushes," Ranma said quite aggressively.

"Hehe, sorry.  Old habit, I just wanted to see if the rumors were true," he knew no matter what he said he was screwed over in a bad way, hiding a Ranma doll with a noose around its neck behind his back.

"Are you sure that's all," Ranma leaned close almost looming trying to see behind his back.

Gosunkugi thought as fast as he could.  There was nothing he could think of saying that could save him unless he stretched the truth he knew. Though he hadn't run into them with the intention of telling them what little worthwhile information he had on his person, he had in his mind the final hope to save him from a very angry Ranma Saotome.

"I came here to tell you something important," not his original intent but it worked, "Yesterday afternoon some girl who said she was Kuno's sister came over to speak to me.  She was looking for a book on magic and texts on voodoo.  I gave it too her because I'd never been able to use it because you need some flowers and other materials you can't get too easily in Japan.  Anyway I just want to give you a heads up because most of the stuff in the book that she could use to try and make Ranma fall in love with her or hate Akane would require a few days of preparation to be usable,"

Gosunkugi held his free arm up and his hand rested firmly behind his head as his painfully fake and forced smile spread across his face.  As Ranma and Akane listened to his words they developed a welling feeling of annoyance.  The information brought to them by Gosunkugi was late and now they were in a situation in which they were exceedingly angry and negatively surprised to the point where only one action was deemed to be necessary.

They did a full body fault ending with their heads' hitting the pavement and their feet facing the sky.

Springing from this fallen stupor, Ranma gripped the pale youth by the collar of his shirt.

"Do you have any idea what happened to me and Akane last night?  If you had told us what ya did then me and Akane probably wouldn't have almost raped each other last night!" he was shaking Gosunkugi furiously.

"Ranma that's enough!" Akane emphasized the last word of her first sentence before falling to her knees, "I . . . I don't want to talk about that now . . ."

Her eyes became watery in the space lining their lower hemispheres. She clenched her fists and pulled them to her lower face.  Ranma dropped Hikaru and rushed back to Akane's side.  Gosunkugi could just watch in a state of shock.

"She . . . no way . . . She actually used the candle of the passion flesh puppet?" Gosunkugi leaned forward trying to bring about his balance, "That was what she wanted to use!  Why would she use that?"

Ranma and Akane just looked at him.  They were silent, as was Gosunkugi.  This silence lasted several minutes as a light breeze picked up around them.

Far away from these unfolding events.

He strode slowly about with his backpack held tightly in his hands. There was nothing to distract him from his goal; that is until he came to a fork in the rode.  For once he took the time to lift his head and observe the options open to him as a wayward vagabond.  To one side he saw what looked like a forest of impossibly high trees, shrouding the interior with darkness and ultimately the terrible unknown.

The other direction was nothing but beautiful and fertile plains, rolling hills, and clear blue skies.  He stood there for several minutes looking in one direction and then in the other.  Still he had no clue which way to take on his journey of self-discovery and learning.  Finally he decided to take the direction that looked like it wouldn't be so much trouble and much more ease and time to think.  Meaning to move towards the rolling hills of beauty he instead dropped his head and stumbled into the foreboding forests.

Typical in the life of the man named Ryoga Hibiki.

"Huh, sure is dark out all of the sudden," the eternally lost boy muttered hiking down the path.

In a matter of a few short hours he found himself in the middle of a pathless clearing.  Within it he found a small stump to sit upon.  Soon he fell asleep sitting upon the remnants of the old tree.

"Whose there!" he snapped upright hearing a sound in the distance.

His eyes darted left and to the right as the sunlight falling into the clearing became less intense and finally nonexistent.  With frantic motion he tried to bring himself around to make out his surroundings.

"Ryoga Hibiki," whispered a voice beneath the midnight shade.

"I'll say it again!  Who the hell is out there!" Ryoga balled his fist and tried to determine the direction of the sound.

Sadly he was not quite adept at picking directions and for the first few moments swung his arms wildly.  There was the sound of a snapping twig behind him, and he thrust to the left.  Suddenly the ground beneath him erupted into a fury of thorny vines and tendrils.  Despite Ryoga's exceedingly above average strength, they somehow held him fast.

"What's going on!" Ryoga demanded struggling against the vines, "Someone tell me what's going on!"

From behind him a series of more vines and plant matter rose from the earth.  The tendrils holding him turned him to face the emerging giant flower bud rise alongside the other sudden foliage.  The bud began to blossom, opening to reveal flowers with blood red petals, in a pattern that would suggest a giant rose.  Within the center of the flora was what appeared to be a young woman of incredible youth and beauty.  Her body was covered in intermittent patches of almost see through silken materials displaying patterns of flowers and vines.  She slowly rose from within the flower and made her way over to Ryoga.

"My, oh my what have we here?" she inquired flipping her auburn hair out of her eyes.

As mentioned her form was of considerable beauty.  Long light brown hair that went down as far as the center of her back.  Full luscious and wet lips glistening in their natural and untainted color lay on her pristine and naturally porcelain face.  Large almost shimmering blue eyes looked up and Ryoga's form.

Ryoga was on the verge of passing out from a nosebleed.  She had leaned forward and over in her inspection of him, and considering her height compared to him as she stood atop a moving vine, gave him a clear and deep look into her impressively deep cleavage.  Finally looking at his face she tilted her own head and looked blankly at him.

"You're very strong, but quite slow," she began, "At least on the uptake, but otherwise you seem quick to jump to conclusions,"

She ran her left index finger across his chest.

"Oh and did I mention strong!" she giggled.

"Hey, hey!" Ryoga demanded starting to squirm in his lush confines, "J . . .j . . . just who are you anyway?"

She stepped back and smiled, giggled with a moment before putting her hands behind her back and straightening her shoulders.  She was more than amused with this newest quarry to wander into her domain.

"It's been so long since the last time a strong one came here.  And you are so much stronger than he was," she seemed elated, "So tell me, what brings one so strong to my wood?"

"Hold on just a second, I asked a question first," he shouted while wildly flailing in his arms and legs.

"Oh fine," she pouted but then thought for a moment and became excited, "You can call me . . . Lily!"

Ryoga just looked at her a moment.

"Didn't you come out of a rose?"

"Hey, not many people ask who I am," she stated matter 'o' factly, "Most men are to caught up by my radiant beauty, and impaired by the enzymes and toxins in the thorns on those vines,"

She pointed to the spiky tentacle like vines and plant matter that had bound him to this place.  Understandably he became quite scarred at the thought that he had been poisoned.

"Damn it!" he panicked, "I can't be poisoned!  Somebody help me! ARGH!"

She simply looked at him quizzically.

"You realize I said most men.  I think you're just a bit to strong for my little babies to take out like that," she almost cooed on strong, "You must have some very impressive stamina, and endurance,"

Again she leaned close to him, her breasts where now pushing up on his chest.  She was looking into his eyes, then stopped to look down at the top of her own bust to find the young man's blood trickling onto it from his nose so far above.  His eyes were twitching, not in an aggressive manner, but rather in a blank half goofy stare.

"So, now it's finally time for you to answer my questions," she smiled, "So what brings you to my forest?"

She shuffled her body from left to right; sliding her barely covered chest across Ryoga's shirt.

"Hmm?" she hummed resting her head between his neck and right shoulder.

"I, uh, and, um, with the, hehe . . ." Ryoga was far from coherent in these events.

"Oh yes, I think I like you," she giggled pressing her hands against Ryoga's chest and on either side of her own, "I hope you don't mind staying here with me forever,"

"Huh?" he gained a sudden level of awareness that he had lost in previous minutes.

"Hmm?" she looked at him confused.

"You just said I was going to stay here forever.  I don't have forever to stay, uh, Miss Lily," Ryoga said trying to be more polite to her presence.

"Just Lily, and you don't have much of a choice in staying or going," she winked at him.

"Wait!  Didn't you say you hoped I didn't mind staying?" he was losing his composure.

"Exactly, I hoped you didn't mind because you don't have a choice," she giggled happily.

Ryoga's face faulted, he had to get on with his journey.  He hadn't the time to stay in this place with this woman.  He had to continue he had to learn how to move forward and become himself.  As contradictory that may seem to a rational mind . . . we are referring to Ryoga.

"So, what can you and I do for all eternity," she giggled grasping the waist of his pants, "Or at least until you burn out,"

The vines holding him tightened, driving the large thorns deeper into his flesh.  For the first time since he became entangled, a parts of his body besides his nose began bleeding.

"ARGH!"

His entire body tensed.  Every muscle in his body tightened pulling the vines with them, but still they held.  Beside his blood flowing from everywhere the vines held him he noticed the a secondary flow of yellowish and green clear liquids coming from the spikes themselves, almost proportionate to the blood he was loosing.

The pain hadn't hit him yet, but the affects of whatever was being pumped into his body were taking hold.  His vision, though already impaired in this darkness, began to blur.  His senses began falling into disarray.

"You can't do this to me," he was barely able to whisper.

"Oh, poor baby," she cooed, "look's like you'll need something to keep you awake,"

She waved her hand and a tree branch knelt down to her whim.  In the branch was a leaf, which had collected a decent amount of cool rainwater. She dipped her hands into it and cupped a handful.  Delicately she brought it to Ryoga's struggling face.

"Thirsty?" she said in a seductive manner, "here you go big boy,"

Ryoga's eyes jerked as the water hit his lips and passed over his tongue.  An idea formed within his normally crude mind.  With one last burst of all his strength he thrust one arm forward knocking the leaf cupping the mass of water.  The water splashed everywhere, including on him.

"BWEEE!" squealed the piglet running across the clearing leaving a very confused Lily in his wake.

Her form was just as soaked as Ryoga had been instantaneously before his transformation.  Her silken garments were soaked and slightly more see through than they had been prior. She clutched Ryoga's empty shirt and smiled.

"So maybe I'll have more fun than I thought," she smirked darkly watching the twitching line of grass showing her the path on which Ryoga ran away in cursed form.

{Damn it!  Gotta think fast!} Ryoga's mind raced and then halted as he found that his mad scramble had brought him back to right in front of Lily.

"Oh there you are little baby," she giggled as she held her right hand high.

A series of smaller and thinner vines coiled around the raised arm seemed to slide into her skin.  Twisting and forming a large spike weapon she brought it down fast and hard, P-chan had barely a chance to dodge.

{Damn it I gotta pick the right direction to run!} He thought to himself again.

Lily removed her fused weapon arm from the earth; the vines separated from their weapon pattern and instead of dropping to the ground were engulfed within her skin.  Her grin became somewhat darker than it had been prior.  The length of her hair was suddenly caught up in an invisible breeze that affected nothing else.  Rising roughly until just a few inches short of rising above the top of her head, it began waving and reaching out.  As this happened her eyes took up an unnatural glow, and in synchronization of such the plant matter around her enveloped her body from the ground up.

"You cannot escape," she said just before the organic matter closed around her face, "I'm very hungry,"

Ryoga ran as fast as his four hooves would carry him.  In this he thought while running, he needed a plan if he wanted to survive.  First he would need to regain his human form, second he would need to regain his clothing and pack, and third he would have to figure out how to get out of the forest.  All things considered, Ryoga would have his work cut out for him.

After a while he came to a large clearing that was by his count, at least one mile in width.  The tree line cut off sharply and let this one perfectly circular meadow in the middle of nowhere.  Before he knew it, Ryoga found himself at the center.  Before him, on an old stool there was a woman whose age could be said to put that of Cologne's to shame.  She sat quite still and looked down at the small pig.  To her left and to her right there were two steaming ponds, natural hot springs.  Curious considering the ground Ryoga stood upon felt in no way moist.

Ryoga almost jumped for joy . . . if pigs could jump that is.  The luck he experienced here was unparalleled to anything he had ever experienced in his life.  His eyes shot left, and then right.  He couldn't for the life of him decide which spring to utilize as both would have his desired affect, at least that his what he thought.

"Hello there child," remarked the old woman barely moving, "I see you are one who suffered the fate of those who visit the valley of gifts,"

Ryoga starred at her in confusion for a moment.  Then realized this woman knew of his Juysenkyo curse.

"I see you wish to use the hot water of these springs to return to your natural form.  Then you must be warned," she began in a voice older than sand, "One holds the promise of blessing those who bath in it a vision of all they need to accomplish to reach their perfect possible existence. Something that some call happiness, and in some cases inner peace.  For others still, the knowledge they seek about themselves so they may find their way,"

Ryoga was filled with glee; such was exactly what he was looking for on this journey.  His folly had become a triumph.  There was nothing that could keep him from what he had spent so much time and energy trying to achieve; absolutely nothing could stop him.

The earth six meters behind him exploded as a mass of vile and disgusting looking plant matter rose and opened to reveal Lily.

"Mmm . . . I knew you'd be yummy.  But know I can't decide which hunger I'm gonna use you to satisfy," her outfit, or lack thereof, was still soaked and she was visibly cold from it.

{Fuck} Ryoga thought, {Oh well, there's no time like the present,}

Charging forward, Ryoga picked the left spring and leapt for it.  The old woman's eyes went wide.

'Splash'

"Foolish child!  That isn't the spring of enlightenment!" she gasped and for the first time moved a significant distance, "That is the yang to its yin,"

The spring bubbled and began to swirl.

"It is a spring that shows one the depths of their greatest fears and anxieties.  Capable of bringing about depression greater that that one may experience on the verge of death itself!  Guaranteed to generate despair tenfold that of the greatest depression of one's life," the old woman was ecstatic as Lily watched with glee.

"Oh come now mother, it isn't as if he was important," Lily sighed looking in the pool upset at the loss of her potential satisfaction.

"Daughter!  How dare you," she responded, "Have you no respect for human life and the sanctity of one's soul.  I dare say I've failed as a mother bringing a daughter such as yourself into this world!"

"Oh shut up you old hag!" Lily replied stamping her foot down and straightening her arms down.

"And disrespectful to me too, have you no shame," the ancient woman let a mock tear fall down her shriveled cheek.

"You never let me have any fun!  IHATEYOUIHATEYOUIHATEYOUIHATEYOU!" she exclaimed almost in tears.

"Oh stop your dramatics daughter.  You were about to have your way with that nice young man.  Such frivolous acts could get you pregnant, and at so young an age it would be unthinkable," the old woman was solemn and strong in her place.

"Mother I am six hundred and eighty two years old.  I can damn well take care of myself," she stated in her matter of factly voice, "I can handle myself, and I'm young and still have my pick of any man I want,"

"Please daughter, I was better looking than you at your age, and I still looked better when I had you when I was twelve hundred and fifty six," the old woman huffed.

"Yeah well you've gone downhill since then!" shouted Lily angrily leaning in on her aged mother.

"Only caused I stopped trying to stay young forever.  I made a choice to truly find wisdom while I was trying to raise you, fat lot of good that did," the old woman shook her head.

"YOU OLD WITCH!" she declared.

"No us denying what's true," the old woman sighed.

'Growl,' Lily was furious and it showed.

"I'm going to go find that scared young man's cloths and bring them back here for him, if you do anything until I return there shall be hell to pay daughter," the old woman said slowly walking off.

"Speaking of him . . . why hasn't he come up out of the spring yet?" Lily asked almost concerned.

"Well if you're actually starting to care, pull him out," replied the old woman.

Lily let a series of vines emerge from her forearm and coil around that portion of said appendage, it then extended into a giant patterned coil tentacle that plunged into the waters looking for Ryoga.  Unknown to her, Ryoga was quite conscious in these waters.  He starred off into nothingness.  When the tentacle brushed against him he began to stir.

"Found him," Lily almost sounded depressed.

She didn't need to drag him up from the shallow waters as he slowly began to emerge from the warm water on his own.  When he stood the water came up just slightly above his waist.  His breath was slow and forced; his pace slow as he approached the edge.  She looked at him and almost instantly felt fear.

"The world is a dark . . . painful place," Ryoga spoke, his expression unchanged.

As he stepped out of the pool and onto the ground, the grass of the meadow began flowing like being blown by the wind.  The air was still, but the grass flowed in a pattern best described as a ripple in a pond, and Ryoga stood at its center.

"Well you yummy little thing," Lily said not noticing the hanging energies in the air, "I hope experience your own hell for a time didn't spoil you to much for me,"

The coiled plant matter tentacle opened up and the vines returned to the interior of her forearm.  She stepped closer to him and again pressed herself against him.

"Since your not trying to run away I'll take this as an invitation," she giggled, "To hell with my mother's wishes,"

She ran a hand down to Ryoga's manhood, saddened to find it inactive.  Sighing, she let her hands continue their journey around Ryoga.  She continued enjoying herself in this manner until Ryoga's gaze changed and met her eyes.

What she saw in them made her step back in terror.  Her fear brought her to the point where she turned and ran from the meadow and to the tree line in great panic.  As she ran, she found each step becoming more difficult.  It was as if the force asserted upon by gravity was increasing with each passing second.  She saw that it was not limited to her.  The grass of the field began to become crushed beneath this impossible increase of force.  As she crawled beyond the force of this gravitational well, she could only watch in horror.  The earth that she had just been walking upon was condensing and falling into a crater.  Ryoga stood at the center of this sudden blast crater with his head down.

Wisps of blue energy began rising from his form.  Finally he let his head rise revealing eyes of infinite pain.

"Shi Shi Hokodan,"

For miles around, all anyone could see was the rising column of blue in the sky.

HOLY CRAP I'M DONE CHAPTER TWO

Took me long enough.

Anyway I've gotten a couple of good reviews so far and I hope this chap keeps em coming. I know the focus was kind of on Ryoga here but it worked out well. Regardless I was pressed for ideas. Now get ready for next chapter: "He loves me, she loves me not"

Hope you enjoy this trip of insanity brought to you by Phantom Crossing!