"leon chen" Split Personalities Side Story #1 Ranko's Dangerous Night (mild lemon) based on Roy Rim's fanfic written by Leon Chen (send all comments and flames to either leonchen@leland.stanford.edu or rr568@bard.edu) [Morning in the Kuno Household] Kuno got up from bed and stretched. "Ah, what a beautiful day to pursue my pig tailed goddess. Which bokken shall the mighty Tatewaki Kuno use today ,"he said to himself as he rummaged through his closet. "Ehh? What's this dusty old lamp doing here?" As Kuno rubbed the dust off the lamp, smoke and vapor started to pour from it. A figure appeared in the smoke, coughing. "Oh Master, what is your wish? , Damn smoke does this to me every single time." Kuno was slightly taken aback, but quickly recovered. "Do you mean I get three wishes like in all of those movies?" "Well, I'm only the low end model so you only get one wish." Kuno started glowing as the possibilities started to sink in. His bokken was not the only thing to rise in anticipation as he shouted, "I wish for a whole night alone with my pig tailed goddess!" "Done, master!" With a clap of thunder and a last wheezing cough, the genie and the lamp disappeared. [Later that day at school] "Ranko, don't forget it's your turn to clean the classroom today." "Hai, Hinako-sensei" "Let me help, let me help." A crowd of male students eagerly rushed Ranko. "What do you students think you are doing? You are all delinquents." Hinako-sensei raised her dreaded five yen piece, and soon there was only a heap of drained and smoking students. "Ranko, don't forget the sakura watching picnic at 5:30. Everybody is going to be there, and we are having Kasumi's homemade sakura-mochi." Ranma then jumped out of the window, and bounded away before any girls can follow him. "See you there, Ranko." Ucchan also left, but was nearly run down by a crowd of girls calling, "Ranma, wait!" "Hai," replied Ranko. "Be sure to clean the classroom well. The mop is in the downstairs storeroom, " Hinako-sensei sternly demanded as she dragged out the immobilized boys of the class. "Hai." Ranko sighed. Clean up was so boring. Oh well, she thought to herself. Might as well get it done with. She started to clean up. [5:30 at Tendo doujo] Akane entered the kitchen and noticed no one else is in the kitchen. With a quick furtive glance around to make sure everyone was outside setting up for the picnic, she quickly hurried over to the trays of freshly made sakura mochi that Kasumi made and replaced them with her own slightly lopsided ones. "Ha ha ha, now Ranma and my family can't make fun of my cooking anymore when they taste my delicious sakura-mochi." With a final giggle, Akane left the kitchen. "Let's start the picnic. I'm starved," declared Ranma as the sakura mochi were brought outside." "Growf," agreed the panda as saliva dripped down his jaw. "No, we have to wait until Ranko to come back," said Ukyou. "Come on. We'll save some for her when she gets back, " wheedled Ranma. "Oh, all right but make sure you do save some for Ranko." Ukyou glared at the panda. "Yatta!" Hmm, those sakura-mochi look a little bit strange, thought Ranma. Could Akane have...nah, no way. "Itadakimasu!" "Itadakimasu!" Suddenly, everything became quiet as Akane blurted out enthusiastically, "Well, how are my sakura mochi, everyone? Delicious?" "Ranma, Ukyou, father, anybody, answer me." Nobody answered because everybody was flat on their back, unconscious from the horrible taste of the sakura mochi. "Ranma, answer me! It can't be that bad. I followed the directions exactly. See." Akane took a bite from a sakura mochi, and also fell unconscious. The only sound now was the chirping of the birds and the snoring of the now unconscious picnickers. [5:30 at Furinkan High School] "Whew. Only one more thing to do - mop the damn place. But it's already 5:30. I have to hurry up. " Ranko went downstairs to get the mop from the storeroom. "Ehh? What is the storeroom door doing open? Oh well." Ranko entered the storeroom, but whirled around as the iron door slammed shut and locked behind her. "Who's here, " demanded Ranko. "Pig tailed goddess, it is but I, Kuno Tatewaki, your destined lover and the greatest fighter of Furinkan High School." "Who's your destined lover?" Ranko placed a kick right in Kuno's face. "Ah, my pig tailed goddess. My wish has come true. I shall be alone with you all night! Come to me, my darling and let us make passionate love." "What are you talking about!" Ranko jumped forward and landed a jump kick to Kuno's head. "Please accept my sword of love." With that, Kuno lifted up his samurai robes, revealing that he did not wear any underwear. "Waaah. What are you doing, you pervert!" "Pig tailed Goddess! Tonight we shall be one!" Kuno chased Ranko around the room. "Take this, sukebe!" Ranko threw paint cans, buckets, and anything else she could get her hands on at Kuno. "I shall not be denied! Da da da da da da da." Kuno went into a frenzy of motion with his bokken, somehow intercepting every object directed his way by a frantic Ranko. Shit, when did he get so good, thought Ranko. Time for a new tatic. "Mouko Takabishya!" A ball of chi slammed into Kuno, causing a heavy bookshelf on one side of the wall to fall on top of him, pinning him fromt he waist down. "Ha, served you right!" "Pig tailed Goddess, why do you run from...Ulp." "What's with the funny stare you pervert...Oh!" Ranko glanced down at herself. Somehow during the fight, her top got ripped in half, completely exposing both of her two round globes of flesh. "Pig tailed Goddess...Oh, what a heavenly sight! I must have you!" Kuno's face got redder and redder as he said this. "Humph, let's seen you get out under the bookshelf with your hands pinned to the sides like that. Ha ha ha!" With a sudden wicked thought, Ranko turned around, pulled down her pants, and mooned Kuno. "You're never going to get me so you can just sit there and rot! Ha ha ha ha!" Ranko slowly turned around facing Kuno and pulled down her pants again. "Try and get me, you pervert! Ha ha ha ha...ulp!" Kuno's face was now beet red as slowly but surely the huge bookcase started to rise up and off his body. "That's impossible! Your arms are trapped beneath you. No..no way." Ranko stared in disgusted but awed fascination as Kuno procceded to lift the bookcase off of himself with the mighty tool between his legs. "I'm free! Pig tailed girl, come to me!" "Kyaaa!" What am I going to do now, thought Ranko. I have to delay him long enough until somebody comes by to open the door. At the very latest, that would be tommorrow morning. I know! "Kuno-chan, if you stay still over there for a little while I will give you a great show! Please?" "Very well, pig tailed girl, Kuno Tatewaki can wait a little bit. After all, we have all night together...ha ha ha ha, ouch what was that for." Ranko gritted her teeth, and thought, Oh well, here goes nothing. She proceeded to pull down her boxers, exposing herself to Kuno. Slowly, and sensuously she spread her legs apart and spread herself to him. Putting one finger in, she started to rub herself and slide her finger in and out. Faster and faster she pumped her finger, and so lost was she in her own pleasure, she didn't notice Kuno getting redder and shaking violently. With a final gasp of pleasure as she came, Ranko came to her senses and looked around frantically for Kuno's location. She spotted him on the floor, unconscious, with blood streaming from his nose in copious quantities. Ranko smiled. It seemed her idea worked. Now, all she had to do was wait for the morning. [The next morning at the Tendo Doujo.] "Ranko, why are you still asleep. It's time to go to school," yelled Akane. "Shut up. I didn't get any sleep last night." "Where were you last night!" "Wherever she was, she was much safer there than here," groaned Ranma from the adjacent futon. "It is going to take me weeks of bedrest to recover from that sakura mochi of yours. That was a really mean trick, Akane." "Growff," agreed the bed stricken Panda. "Ranma no baka!" leonchen@leland.stanford.edu Leon Chen lkl