p a r t f o r t y - t h r e e |
r e f l e c t i o n s
e c h o e s o f r e j e c t i o n
Part Forty-Three: Echoes of Rejection
In the wake of Ranma and Ranko's departure, Akane and Ryouga stood frozen in mortification. Again and again, the fragmented conversation that followed Ranma's awakening flashed through their minds. There was no escaping it. Ranma had shown up unannounced at Ryouga's bedroom window just in time to catch them finally overcoming their nerves and shyness. It was tragic. The whole afternoon had been a nightmare, starting with the scene in the bath. Warned by Ranma's phone call that they only had one night to complete their experiment, they had both been overcome by insecurity. To take off the edge, Ryouga had suggested going into the yard and working out, to help them become more at ease with their new bodies, and Akane had jumped at the suggestion. For a while, it had worked, and the two had gradually fallen into a strenuous training session. Awkwardness had temporarily erased the gulf in their respective levels of skill, and allowed them to get the most out of sparring. They were both hot and sweaty, when a neighbor showed up to see what the ruckus was about. Trading names temporarily, for the benefit of the Hibikis' neighbor, they were rewarded when the man offered them a string of fish he had caught that day, which he was reluctant to clean and freeze.Ryouga had taken them into the kitchen, while Akane took the first turn at the bath. The former lost boy was an old hand at cleaning fish, even ones as large as the neighbor had given them. Not that it helped any that she was so distracted by the return of thoughts about what was planned for later in the evening. By the time she brought her attention back to Earth, she realized she had prepared enough raw fish for an army, or a visit from the Saotome's, and set aside a small portion for dinner, placing the rest on a tray to carry to the refrigerator. As she turned from the preparation table, she inadvertently knocked over the bowl in which she had collected the fish heads and entrails. Her next step, square in the middle of the slippery mess, sent her head over heels to land, on her belly, right in the thick of the mess.
The sound of Ryouga crashing to the floor drew Akane-dressed only in a towel about his waist-down stairs, from where he had just come out of the bath. Together, they quickly rescued the fish, mopped up the floor, and filled the fridge. Confronted with an icebox full of fresh food, they concluded that Ryouga's mother had been by the house very recently. Poking around, Akane found the abalone and begged Ryouga for permission to fix it for dinner. It was just too exotic a dish to let spoil in the months until someone else in the family paid a visit. Ryouga agreed, packed the fish to take along in the morning and went up to prepare her bath. Of course, with Akane walking around practically naked, it was inevitable something would happen.
Ryouga had stripped down and settled on a stool when Akane wandered in to retrieve the clothes he had been wearing as a boy. Disgusted by the thought of slipping back into his sweat soaked outfit, he asked if Ryouga had anything he could wear. Not pausing to think of her state of dress, or lack there of, Ryouga had turned on the heater for the furo and grabbed Akane's hand to drag him into her room. Clearly, Ryouga had been trying too hard to ignore her body. It was not until she brushed against Akane, that Ryouga became self conscious. It was hard not to, given the way her body responded to the close presence of the muscular male. It had been on the back of her mind that this was probably the best way to get things started, so she was not disappointed when the two of them became side tracked from their search for clothes. It was a simple thing to let nudity, proximity and the instincts of their new bodies take charge. Apparently, Akane felt the same, and before they knew it, Ryouga was stretched out under Akane, being kissed and caressed on the bed. Just the same, they did have a pact to take things slowly, so it took them a long time to think of progressing past making out. Somewhere along the way, Akane's towel had gotten lost, so there was certainly nothing to come between them. In fact, the lack of any kind of clothing barrier had only made them more cautious. It was all they could do to keep from jumping apart every time their genitals grazed each other.
They had only just worked up the nerve to explore each other's adopted sex when the door bell finally sent them jumping for opposite ends of the room. Saved by the bell, they instantly realized where they had been headed and raced to get away from each other. Akane snatched up the clothes Ryouga had offered, and tossed a robe at Ryouga as he exited the room, hastily announcing his intentions to start on dinner. Ryouga tried to swallow her heart and slow her breathing before opening the front door, to see Ranko carrying Ranma.
Ryouga was never a picture of grace under pressure. Confronted with an incredibly sexy looking Ranko, and dreading what would happen when she discovered what happened to Akane, Ryouga proceeded to gnaw on her foot in classic style. The fact that nothing serious had happened was offset by the fact that, if Ranko had not showed up just then, something certainly would have happened soon. It was all well and good that she and Akane both needed to know if they could be a full partner to Ranma, but neither of them had really thought of what Ranma would think of their adventure if she caught them in it. Of course, that was a moot question now that she certainly believed she had!
"We are so screwed," Ryouga finally grieved aloud.
"But... but we didn't actually DO anything!" Akane protested.
"Yet..." Ryouga added pointedly.
There was a long silence as they turned to face each other.
"We could explain..." Akane suggested.
"It's not like Ranma isn't..." Ryouga offered at the same time. It was pointless. They were both guilty at heart, and even if they silently agreed to abort the experiment, the damage was done. The only way for them to redeem themselves was for Ranma to find out, very personally, that Ryouga was still a virgin in this form. Rather than continue discussing it, Ryouga wandered unerringly into the kitchen, threw out the corpse of Akane's stir fry, and set about making a meal from the thoroughly tenderized abalone. Akane proceeded to the guest room and began to set up a futon for herself. While thinking of the importance of sleeping alone that night, Akane sighed. The experiment had not been a complete failure. They had gone a lot further than Akane would have expected, and the only genuine disgust she felt about it was over her stupidity. Always an impulsive individual, Akane decided that adding desperation made for a fatal combination. He did not know if he or Ryouga would get a second chance with Ranma, or what their actions would do to the choice Ranma had to make. All he could do was hope that Ranma could be as forgiving of such a serious offence as she was of everything else. All that mattered now, was being in a position during the week ahead to find out. In spite of Ranma's declaration, Akane and Ryouga needed to join the others in the morning for the trip to China.
Somewhere in the dead of night, a storm rolled in. Determined to make up for the past two days of fabulous weather, it announced itself with a booming voice and threatening fangs and claws of light. The angry heavens shook the dojo, but it seemed the pitiful mewlings of a frightened kitten compared to the fury that gripped the girl sharing Ranko's futon. It was impossible to ignore, since every time Ranma bumped into her, Ranko felt that temper spill into her. This was not a pleasing side effect of their triumvirate to discover. Unfortunately, it was just feelings and not thoughts that might explain Ranma's rage. Ranko could guess. The whole situation over at Ryouga's house had seemed fishy, but for all her suspicions, she found it too hard to believe Akane could do something like that. For the thousandth time, Ranko repeated this disbelief to her twin. In response, Ranma ground her teeth loudly, before grabbing the other girl and dragging her out of the room they shared with their mother. Not surprisingly, Fa Shen picked that moment to wander out of Akane's room, where he had been sequestered at Kasumi's insistence."Could the two of you put out any more angst?" he complained, joining them on the stairs, as Ranma led them out to the dojo.
"Why don't you try having your heart ripped out and split in half and tell me!" Ranma snarled under her breath.
"Come on! You don't really believe they..." Ranko began.
"I SAW them! I saw it all, Ranko!" Ranma cried, straining to keep her voice low. With a gesture, she silenced them and led the way out of the house. They were all damp after crossing to the dojo under the covered walkway, courtesy of the heavy wind that sent the flood of rain blasting almost sideways through the air. While Fa Shen sealed them in, Ranma stomped to the center of the training hall. Turning, she announced painfully, "I know I'm just bein' crazy. I mean, I've been doin' it with Fa Shen, so it's not like I'm anyone to talk! It's just... I can't believe it!"
Ranko watched the other girl slump to the ground, crossing her legs and leaning straight-armed on her ankles. Leading Fa Shen over, they seated themselves in a triangle, with Ranma at the base. "I don't believe it. Maybe I don't wanna believe it, but... It's not like it'd be any surprise," Ranko began, carefully hiding her own fear that Ranma might be right. She could not feel what she did for Ryouga and not suddenly dread the outcome of something like this. Like Ranma, she was painfully aware of Ryouga's crush on Akane, and the thought of losing him to her-him, whatever-was suddenly terrifying. Shaking her head, she pressed on, "It's like, everyone's snapped. They're not just talkin' about gettin' cursed to get one of us anymore. An' none of us even has the curse anymore! It's like, I got cured, and now the curse is tryin' to take over everyone around me!"
Fa Shen and Ranma stared at her. "What do you mean?"
"I mean, there's somethin' not right here!" Ranko stressed, holding up her hands. "Every one's cracked! I mean, I can see Ryouga wantin' a different curse. Compared to bein' a pig, of course he'd wanna be a girl. But seriously, do either of you want the person you love to be cursed like that?"
The other two shook their heads emphatically.
"So, it's not like we've asked anyone else to do this. I know we didn't make anyone jump the fence, but it's happening! As sure as the rain comes when you don't want it to, we get this insanity. It just seems... I dunno. Fishy," Ranko protested.
"What are you trying to say, Ranko?" Fa Shen pushed.
Ranma studied her twin. "You don't think they're responsible," she challenged. Ranko shook her head and looked up. "There ain't no way they're all being controlled by Jusenkyo. This ain't like being a water magnet! Ranko, I saw them together, naked, in bed. Why would they be tangled up like that if they weren't doin' it? Why would they be doin' it if they didn't want to?"
"Why have you been doin' it with Fa Shen?" Ranko retorted.
"I had to! For you! How can you ask that!?"
"No. Just listen for a second," Ranko insisted. "Before you two got out, and it was just me, with the curse, I had everyone and their brother chasin' after me. How come no one thought of trying to get a curse like mine back then? Why didn't anyone try, I mean REALLY, try to get me in bed? Why now, when the curse is gone, is it so important for everyone to try and be both, when we're all normal right now?"
"Ranko, I think you're skipping over something," Fa Shen frowned.
Ranko blinked, thought back, and then nodded. "Sorry. You're right." She turned back to her twin, "Ranma, you say Ryouga and Akane were havin' sex. I don't think it's that easy. I mean, yeah, Akane's a complete tom-boy, but come on! Isn't it strange she'd turn herself into a boy an' go chasin' after a girl Ryouga, when last I saw, she wanted to kill him?" She shook her head, dismissing the idea. "Akane's doin' the same thing Shampoo did. The same thing Ukyo'd do if she got the chance. Because you had sex with Ryouga, they all have to have sex with us too, to be on the same level. Of course, because you were a girl, that tells the other girls that their only chance is to make you or me be a boy, or become boys themselves!"
"And vice versa," Fa Shen added, referring to Ryouga.
"And your point is?" Ranma narrowed her eyes.
"It's outta control!" Ranko almost shouted. However, the idea she had stumbled on was too fragile yet to follow, so she returned to the immediate question. Unfortunately, she missed what she was aiming for and brought up a more personal issue. "Do you really wanna be a girl for Ryouga? Do you remember what it was that made bein' with Ryouga even possible? It wasn't the curse, stupid. It wasn't because you wanted to be a girl! It was because you were giving up bein' Ranma!"
That made Ranma blink. "But, I don't have to give up bein' me, anymore." Ranko nodded encouragingly. Ranma grabbed her head and tried to think. The mirror had screwed everything up to the point that nothing made sense. That had kept Ranma from really thinking about what had happened, because it was much simpler to accept the conclusions Copy-Ranko had come to, to deal with what happened to her. But, that reflection had decided to just be Ranko. Ranma could not accept that, but to deal with sleeping with Ryouga, she had been forced to go along with everything it entailed. That had seemed fine until that afternoon, when she want back to being a girl, and found it more unsettling than before. Ranma had thought about it, and thought about it, until she latched onto the idea of seeing what kind of girl Ryouga made. Going over to rescue Ryouga from Akane's cooking had just been an excuse. The truth was, the possibility of Ryouga becoming the girl had suddenly seemed appealing. It had suggested a way for Ranma to hold onto the feelings she now had, without having to sacrifice being a boy.
Ranma stood up and began pacing. She did not understand what had happened, but obviously her doubts about being a girl had come back. Or, maybe it was just that, once the things she had absorbed from Ranko had settled, she was adjusting back to being her normal self. The person she had always been, the guy she had always been, was coming back to the surface. He was certainly a lot more comfortable with the idea of the person he loved being a girl. The last thing he expected was for the other girl he longed for to turn into a guy. On some level, he had gone to compare the two girls and see which one really appealed to him. In an instant, Akane had become a double threat. As a boy, he confronted the female Ranma with more pressure to remain female, while at the same time, he came between Ranma and the female Ryouga. It was a sickening reversal of Ryouga coming between Ranma and Akane.
"If they both changed, or both wanted to change, for me... Why would they be sleeping with each other?" Ranma finally asked. That was the part that hurt. Faced with having to choose between them, striving to find a way to make that choice based on love for them, and not just her desire to reclaim her manhood, it was truly frightening to think they might just chose each other and cut Ranma out of it entirely.
"It's an experiment," Fa Shen blurted out. When the other two turned to him expectantly, he gestured to himself. "How do you think I ended up like this? I mean, yes, I was drugged to the gills, and Shampoo had me turned and locked before I knew it, but the reason I actually had sex with her was because I was curious to know if I even could. Somewhere in the back of my mind, I was thinking about healing Ranko, and I was not comfortable about having sex with Ranma as either a boy or a girl," Fa Shen explained, self consciously. Shrugging off his own experience, he applied the wisdom he had gained to Ryouga and Akane. "It is not enough to just change sex if the reason for doing so is to be with someone who is as much a boy as she is a girl."
Ranko nodded, "It makes a lot more sense than Ryouga and Akane changing places to be with each other. It makes more sense than the two of them having sex at all. I mean, aren't they rivals now? Isn't that awfully friendly for people who are fighting over you?"
"That doesn't make it any better," Ranma scowled, bitterly.
"How do you think I feel, Ranma?" Ranko finally challenged. She did not need to point out what they had all discovered after the merging. Even without betraying what she had done, it should be obvious to Ranma that Ranko also suffered from her emotional attachment to Ranma's paramours. There was no way to deny that Ranma's relationships had started on Ranko's watch.
Ranma bit her lip. "I'm sorry, Ranko. Honestly, I shouldn't even be involved. I suppose you're the one they should really be fighting over, huh?"
Ranko softened. "Sorry, Ranma. Didn't mean to guilt trip you, it's just. You're not alone here. I feel it. Fa Shen feels it. It's pretty messed up, but what do you think we should do? Divvy them up? I take Ryouga, you get Akane, and Fa Shen gets her pick of the rest? I don't know why I don't run screaming away from it all. There's just no easy answers."
"Well, that one is easy enough," Fa Shen smirked. "The problem is, the choice isn't really in your hands. Either of you. What you suggested is probably the least painful solution. It lets Ranma be himself, it lets you be yourself, and it makes everyone else happy."
"Yeah, but somehow, I don't think Ryouga would go for being passed off onto me," Ranko voiced her real concern. Rather than let the conversation go down this path, she summarized her hypothesis. "Whatever. The thing is, I think that we're seeing the long term effects of the curse. I think, the longer people are around someone cursed like I was, the greater the chance of other people being infected by its madness. The people who fall in love with, or get obsessed by the person with the nyanniichaun curse become tempted to get one like it. So, they go to Jusenkyo to get one, and probably end up falling into some other spring, and Jusenkyo claims a whole new batch of victims. I mean, look at who's already cursed. Isn't it possible to say they're all indirectly my fault?"
Ranma and Fa Shen stared in horror, as Ranko pointed out the demon in the design. Not that they agreed that the fault lay with Ranko. She was a child of the curse. Fa Shen was its mother, and Genma had been the one to open that Pandora's box, getting first himself, and then his son, cursed.
"Are you saying we should not get cursed again?" Fa Shen asked, rubbing his hands over his chest in faint despair. Unable to sit still, he sprung up and joined Ranma in pacing about.
Ranko frowned, watching them circling her, and climbed to her feet, so she did not have to strain her neck to follow them. As she rose, she confessed, "I can't say that. If I don't get my curse back, I'll go insane. I can't explain it." She sighed heavily, running her hands through her hair in frustration. "I suppose, we just need to make sure that everyone who is cursed gets married, or something. To each other. To some one with a matching curse. That's the only way to keep each person from attracting someone new to get cursed."
"Or, maybe, everyone who is cursed needs to master their curse, so they're not so obvious. I mean, it just seems insane to have a bunch of us running around flipping back and forth between male and female. I think Ranko is the only person for whom the curse would be normal. The rest of us need to find a way to go back to being ourselves," Fa Shen retorted.
Ranma found herself in agreement. Being a girl had its uses, but when she came right down to it, it was not who she was. If she chose Ryouga, she would ultimately be forced to give up being Ranma, and thanks to Ranko, she knew just how incredibly painful that would be. More painful than hating herself for turning away from the lost boy. With a sudden sense of relief, she looked at the other two. "I don't need to get cursed if I give up Ryouga. I won't force you to take him, Ranko. He might not even want either of us after I break his heart, but I can't give up being a guy for him, and I won't use Fa Shen's body to string him on. I don't know if Akane's the right choice either, but I'll marry her. It's still a matter of honor. If she was willing to be a guy for me, I suppose that means she loves me," Ranma smiled sadly. Taking a deep breath, she added, "I suppose I love her too."
Ranko laughed, "Bet you couldn't say that to anyone else!"
"Yeah, well, it's not like you don't know what I really feel, right?"
Ranko reached out and took Ranma's hands. With a more serious look, she asked, "Are you sure about this? I mean, I can take care of Ryouga. I could probably capture his attention and pull him away from you, so his heart isn't completely shattered. But, do you really want to give him up?"
"I have to. Even if I like him as a girl, I'd hate myself for pushin' him to it. I'd always wonder if it was killin' him on the inside. I'd always be tempted..." Ranma shook her head. "Love just isn't enough. I want him to be happy, and I don't think we'll ever be happy together. There's nothing else I can do." Pulling free she began to walk away. At the door, she looked over her shoulder, "Besides, Ryouga fell in love with my girl side, Ranko. Whatever happened between me and him, we all know that's really you."
As Ranma stepped out into the rain, Fa Shen grabbed Ranko to restrain her. Ranko looked up at him in surprise, a question plain on her face. Fa Shen looked grim. "I didn't want to say anything earlier... I don't know if Ranma noticed it or not..." he paused, collected his wits and tried to start again without fumbling. "Don't take this the wrong way, but, something happened to us during the last joining. Something has changed, and I can't quite tell what it is," Fa Shen stated cautiously. When Ranko looked down, and took a moment to offer a slight nod, Fa Shen sighed. "I don't know what you did, or if you actually did anything, maybe you just noticed it too, but it's already changing us. If that isn't going to become a bad thing, we're going to have to talk about it and decide what it means for us."
"Are you mad at me?" Ranko asked timidly.
"What's there to be mad about?" Fa Shen countered. Shaking his head, he went on, "I don't know what happened, but, I can tell you feel guilty about something. It's like you knew Ranma would give up Ryouga, and had already prepared yourself to step in. If you're seeing things we're not, and that's what's bothering you, don't worry about it. You're a lot closer to the center of this than Ranma and I. That doesn't mean you're responsible for us. And it doesn't mean you're to blame if things go wrong."
"What do you mean?" Ranko evaded.
"I mean, don't hate yourself because you wanted Ryouga too. Ranma knew it, and I knew it. If anything, that just made it easier to do what needed to be done. Things are not that much different than with the reflections. As long as you are there for Ryouga, and Ranma is there for Akane, none of us have to worry about failing the ones we love," Fa Shen decreed. With a rakish grin, she added, "It's weird, for me, to be caught up in all of this, but when I stopped feeling like I'd broken a promise to Akane, I knew that things were starting to fix themselves. A burden was lifted, and if you had something to do with that, then..." Fa Shen shrugged, and pulled the girl into a warm embrace. "Thank you," he whispered, before leading her back inside. By the time morning came, the storm had settled into a steady downpour. As people rose early, to prepare for the journey, they were surprised to discover the triplets ensconced around the breakfast table. The three had discovered it was later than they thought when they returned from the dojo, and not feeling able to return to sleep, they had plotted through the early morning hours. As breakfast was joined, Ranko made the agreed upon announcement, informing everyone that she had been healed. Without going into the details, she explained that Ranma and Fa Shen completed a circuit that had restored Ranko to full strength in one encounter. The part about Ranma and Fa Shen switching places was left entirely out. The only reason for telling the rest, was to assure everyone that Ranko was up for the journey and preempt any encouragement or expectations of Ranma and Fa Shen coupling during the trip. If everyone believed the pair had done what was necessary, perhaps no one would be stalking the couple every time they wandered out of sight.
Nodoka had taken the news well, under the circumstances.
Those who were going to China assembled in the dojo, along with their traveling gear, including Ryouga and Akane, who raced in breathlessly and caused a sensation in reaction to Akane's transformation. Ukyo, who had closed her business for the week, insisting on going along, quickly nabbed Akane, shocked and impressed that her rival had actually gone through with such a thing. Ryouga and Akane were briefed by Cologne on the dangers they both faced, repeating the lecture she had given the others the night before. Upon collecting the rest of the Instant Nyanniichaun packets from Ryouga, one packet was distributed to Akane, Ukyo and Shun, each, as insurance. Since they were all normally girls, if it became necessary, they could use the mixtures to restore themselves permanently to normal. In Shun's case, Fa Shen would have to be restored to her former self before he could return to being Shampoo, but as the rest of the packets were being destroyed, it was appropriate to give him one just in case.
Nodoka, even though she was coming along, assured everyone she needed no insurance, since she had no intention of going any where near the springs of sorrow. In spite of that, a few extra packets were held by Fa Shen. If the Kaisuifuu could not restore him to normal, it would at least present him the opportunity to use the instant instead. For her part, Ranma was still carrying the Instant Nanniichaun packets Shampoo had given her, and could use water proof soap to return to manhood. It would of course be simpler to just swap bodies with Fa Shen, but that would reveal their secret. As long as they both changed sexes, the end result would be the same.
When they were ready to go, Ranko went about the training hall, prompting each person to hold onto their gear tightly and then letting them look into the compact. Nabiki and Kasumi were staying in Nerima, but they would accompany Nodoka to the airport. Ranko gathered the last of the gear and provisions, kissed her mother on the cheek, and handed her the compact, reminding her that she must not lose it. With that, she looked in the mirror and joined the rest inside to spend a long, tedious wait through the flight.
Not surprisingly, the group of teens broke up into small groups to talk, with Ranma and Fa Shen bedding down to catch up on lost sleep. Ranko made her way to Ryouga's side, eager to find out what really happened the night before, and see what she thought about being a girl. Ukyo continued to engage Akane, while Mousse and Shun continued a tense and private discussion about their marriage. Cologne saw no reason to intrude on any of it, so she made herself comfortable, pulled out a large book and settled back to read. In spite of everything being calm and quiet on the surface, the crystal faceted chamber hummed with tension. There had been no time for Ryouga and Akane try and clear up the mess they were in with Ranma, when they arrived, and they both took Ranma's retreat into slumber as evidence of rejection and enduring anger. In spite of Ranko's assurances, that Ranma understood what they had done, and why, Ryouga found it impossible to relax and hope for the best. Several times, in the hours that followed, Ranko had been forced to draw upon Fa Shen's knowledge of shiatsu to poke Ryouga out of a cloying depression. It disturbed her that Ryouga was indifferent to her repeated warnings that generating a lot of heavy chi-or really, chi of any sort-only hastened the deterioration of the temporary curse.
"Ryouga, if you keep this up, you're gonna get stuck with a girl curse!" she hissed, after the umpteenth time.
"You say that like it's a bad thing," Ryouga frowned.
"Of course it's a bad thing!" Ranko cried. "We're going to Jusenkyo. If you don't screw up your curse, you can use the Nanniichaun to get cured!"
"If I can turn into a girl, I won't need to be cured," Ryouga retorted.
"I know you think it's better than being a pig, but you can't seriously want to turn into a girl, can you?" Ranko challenged, feeling a little disturbed. "I mean, seriously, do you really think you could live like that?"
"You did. It's not like I don't know what it's like to live with a curse. And I don't need to explain why I'd prefer this, do I?"
"That's not the same thing. The curse is normal for me. I'm a mix of Ranma and Fa Shen. I'm just saying, neither of them wants to get cursed again. They're just trying to get back to normal."
"Ranma's going to be a guy, full time?" Ryouga gasped. Ranko bit her lip and nodded. Ryouga looked down in pain, "Well, then I really do have to be a girl. It just won't work otherwise."
Ranko suddenly found the room closing in on her. Was this a good time to tell Ryouga what Ranma had decided? If Ryouga had not put it together from what Ranma said, about locking herself in guy form once Fa Shen was back to normal, would Ryouga even listen to her? "Listen, Ryouga. There's something we need to talk about," she introduced, licking her lips nervously.
Ryouga leveled a suspicious glare.
Looking around, and seeing no one else was interested in their conversation, Ranko proceeded to explain some of the finer points of her ordeal, exactly who and what the copies had been, and what had happened when she was healed. She obscured parts of it, but spelled out her conviction that she had reclaimed the parts of her that were in Ranma and Fa Shen, from the copies, when she was healed. "I know this is going to be a little hard for you to believe, but Copy-chan was really me, Ryouga. The part of me that was all girl. The part of me that is like Fa Shen. Now, I'm not saying you have to love me," she added hastily, seeing Ryouga beginning to panic. "All I am saying is, the only part of her that is left in Ranma is the memories. Ranma still loves you, but he doesn't have her there making it easy for him to be a girl."
"So, that's why he doesn't want the curse anymore? He doesn't need to be a girl anymore?" Ryouga swallowed in pain.
"Not like when she was still inside him, no. Not enough to go back to having the curse turning him inside out all the time. I don't know what it's like turning into a pig, Ryouga, but believe me, switching back and forth between being a guy and a girl really messes you up," Ranko insisted. "That's why I don't think you should be so eager to get stuck that way."
"They, why are you so eager to get cursed again?"
"Well, I don't know if I can tell you so you understand. When I was Ranma, the curse messed me up 'cuz I was trying too hard to be a boy all the time. The thing is, with Fa Shen waking up and everything, and waking up myself, I sort of am both. Right now, it's the same as when I was cursed, I have a part of me that's constantly fighting the body I am in. With the curse, that part of me can get to be a boy from time to time and I don't start freaking out," Ranko gripped herself tightly.
Ryouga tightened her hands on her thighs, and sighed, "I guess I know what you mean. I like this a lot more than being a pig, but... Sometimes when I move the wrong way, I suddenly realize what's different and I go a little crazy."
"Right! So, believe me, it's much better for you if you just get cured while we're at Jusenkyo," Ranko emphasized, meeting Ryouga's eyes intently. The only flaw in her conviction was that, with her plans to get cursed, the idea of Ryouga matching her curse was so incredibly tempting. Unwilling to let her desires lead the lost boy to harm, she was even more determined to encourage Ryouga NOT to embrace her current form.
Once more, depression and anxiety began to grip Ryouga. "But, I can't just give up!" she lurched forward, squeezing her eyes shut and tensing all over.
Ranko felt she was losing her. Ryouga was just not taking the suggestion to focus her feelings on Ranko. Searching her mind for another approach, she brightened, "Hey. Do you remember what I thought was going to happen to me? How I thought Fa Shen would be set free?" she asked, not even realizing how she had patched into Copy-Ranko's experiences.
"Ra... What?" Ryouga snapped around to stare at her. "How do you...?"
Still on that other track, Ranko took a deep breath, "I thought I'd be merging with Ranma-chan, but since I didn't know what that would do to me, I had sex with you. Things didn't really go as planned, but aside from Ranma and Fa Shen being in the wrong bodies, that's basically what happened, Ryouga."
"Ranko?" Ryouga breathed. In a louder, more desperate voice, "You're MY Ranko?"
Ranko nodded, timidly. Ryouga's head whipped around to find Ranma, then she looked back. Her brain was struggling to deal with the impact on her emotions. Over the previous day, she had come to terms with the idea that she had fallen in love with an illusion, and strained to accept that her love stretched to the underlying truth. The morning before, Mousse had forced Ryouga, who was grieving for the loss of Copy-Ranko, to see that he loved the boy the girl had been. Having made that leap, it was simply mind boggling to think that the girl had not been a lie. True, he had instantly recognized Ranko as the female version of Ranma, but of course she had nothing to do with what happened on the date. Because of Mousse forcing her to accept her love for Ranma, Ryouga had forced herself not to transfer her injured love to Ranko. When she tried now, she discovered she could not make a clean break from Ranma. The effort was like cleaving her heart in two. With a cry of agony, Ryouga rocked back and turned away from Ranko.
Cologne looked up from her book, frowning. Akane, Ukyo, Shun and Mousse paused in their conversations to glance over at the two girls as well. Before they could go investigate, Cologne waved them off, setting her book down and perching on her staff for a better view.
"Ryouga?" Ranko reached out hesitantly.
The dark haired girl shook her head and flinched away. She needed a moment to understand the pain, the conflict of trying to see who she truly loved. It was not that she was horrified to have Ranko suddenly wake up to what had happened that night. It was not that she did not want Ranko. The horror was that she had accepted her love for Ranma-for a boy. Worse, that she had become a girl for his sake, for the sake of his love. In the process, in her desperation to find out if she could make it real, embrace womanhood entirely, she had betrayed him. Forced him to turn away from her. "It's too late," she gasped under her breath. As it came out, she realized she was about to confess to Ranko what had happened to her curse. She was about to turn to the person who was reaching out to her, and find out if she, with her intention to embrace her old curse, could accept what she had become. Unfortunately, those words had a totally different effect on Ranko.
Ranko choked on hearing them. She stiffened and her blood turned to ice. She flinched back as if she had been stabbed. Unable to even speak, she pushed herself back, almost teleporting away from Ryouga. With shuddering limbs, she hastily rose and retreated, cursing herself for her impetuousness.
"Ranko?" Ryouga rolled over and stared at her, as she recoiled. Frightened by the sight of the pale, trembling red-head, she lunged to her knees. "Ranko! Wait..."
"No. No, Ryouga," she hid her face, holding up a warding hand. "I... I don't want to hear it. I'm... I am sorry." She jumped up and hurried over to her gear, pulled out her sleeping bag and crawled into it, pulling the top over her head to hide her shame and grief. She should not have confronted Ryouga with this so soon. She should have let Ranma explain it to her. She should have been more patient. Instead, she had blown it completely.
Ryouga, unable to understand what was going through Ranko's mind, felt as powerfully rejected. With her mind paralyzed by shock, she did not even know what she had said to so deeply offend the girl of her dreams. If she were not so numb and horrified, she would have dropped into a depression so severe the crystal chamber would have shattered trying to contain it. All she could think was that she had turned away from the woman she loved, lured by the man she thought she had been, and turned away from herself, the man she had been. Tightening her arms around her body, she finally saw it as a curse. For her own stupidity, she suddenly felt she deserved it.
The end of this scene disturbed the others. Shun, Mousse, Ukyo and Akane had all silently followed Ranko's retreat with their eyes, and then turned to stare at Ryouga, who slumped against the wall looking like a victim of Akane's cooking. Cologne had kept her eyes on the lost girl, musing grimly on what appeared to have happened. While the scene had all the ear marks of a lovers' spat, she had not believed anything was going on between Ranko and Ryouga. Having ignored most of the girls' conversation, the matriarch had nothing to base a suspicion on. There was really just the aftermath on Ryouga's face. A glimpse over to where Ranko was doing her best to hide from the world was no more enlightening. Wordlessly, Mousse rose to go to Ryouga's side, as Akane and Ukyo went over to see if they could lure Ranko from out of hiding. Biting back tears, Ranko roughly announced that she needed to catch some sleep. After studying Ryouga for a while in silence, Mousse tried to break through the girl's stupor with gentle, reasonable words. In both cases, the wounded parties remained unresponsive, and the remaining teens gave up with sighs of defeat. To escape the tension, they also went to lay down and seek a few hours of slumber.
Cologne picked up her book, having little need for extra sleep at her age. By her reckoning, there was significant time remaining in their isolation. In the outside world, Nodoka was making her connecting flight from Hong Kong to Shanghai. In a few more long hours, they would all be in China, where Nodoka could set the others free and they could start on the overland leg of their trip. Hopefully, once they were out on their feet, exercise would loosen the youths up and Cologne could pry what was happening out of one of them. It would not be a bad thing to find out what romantic intrigue had evolved now, and certainly, a match between Ranko and Ryouga would help settle things nicely. It was just a matter of finding out what sort of misunderstanding had reared its head and nudging it out into the open. Tuning out a chorus of snores, Cologne tucked her nose back in her book and dismissed the matter for the moment.
About an hour later, the grumbling of Ranma's stomach drowned out the snores, and Cologne broke into the provisions to retrieve the bentos Kasumi had provided for the flight. Not even Ranko was impervious to the call for lunch, though she grabbed her food and huddled up with Ranma and Fa Shen with her back pointedly facing Ryouga. After seeing Mousse and Shun pull the lost girl over to eat with them, Cologne settled in with the triplets, to hear Ranko's brief explanation to her siblings, when Fa Shen raised the question.
"What are you being so rude to Ryouga for?"
"Feh. I'm not trying to be rude," Ranko dismissed, shoveling food into her mouth angrily. Pausing to chew and swallow, she set her bento down and explained, "I just made a royal ass of myself coming on to Ryouga. I'd just... I'd rather not have to deal with her right now. If she says it's too late... well, it's not like I can do anything about it."
"What do you mean, it's too late?" Ranma asked.
"Sorry, Ranma. Ryouga was getting depressed about last night, and while I was trying to convince her you weren't mad at her, I sorta let slip that you... well... picked being a guy over bein' with Ryouga," Ranko blushed sheepishly.
"Jeez! If you let it out like that, it's no wonder Ryouga didn't wanna have anything to do with you!" Ranma scowled.
"It wasn't like that," Ranko squeaked in protest. "I was tryin' to get her to calm down and stop generating heavy chi. If she doesn't put a lid on it, she'll be stuck with a girl curse, but she figured that would just make her more attractive to you. I was tellin' her that even you don't want that curse, and that's sorta how it slipped out. To make it up to her, I told her I picked up the memory of the date, to let her know that if you dumped her I cared too!"
"That's your idea of coming on to someone?" Fa Shen deadpanned.
"Fa Shen!" Ranko stared at him, hurt.
Ranma studied her twin thoughtfully, guessing how the conversation must have gone and nodding. "So, you tried to tell her that, well... what I said earlier, you're the real girl side, hopin' she'd be interested in you."
Ranko nodded glumly, "Yeah, but then she falls over, wailing like I ripped out her heart, and says it's too late. I just... I completely blew it!" Hugging her knees and burying her face in her lap, she retreated once more from the agony. Ranma looked down uncomfortably, while Fa Shen leaned over to hug Ranko. Ranko unfolded and leaned into his side, taking comfort from his presence. Sniffing, and holding back unshed tears, she added, "I'll be okay. I just... It hurts. I didn't think it'd hurt her like that."
Cologne finally spoke up, "Don't worry, young one. It may not be as bad as it seems. If anything, it probably came as more of a surprise to Ryouga. I know I am surprised to hear you are interested in the boy. From your track record, you are not exactly one to be so decisive in relationships."
"Yeah, well, I've got a little bit more to go on with Ryouga than I did during the whole fiancée mess. At least with, er, him, there was a moment when I was certain he loved me. That damn mirror sorta screwed that up..." Ranko shook her head. "If we had gotten back to the mirror and let Ranma and Fa Shen out into the reflections that way, there wouldn't be any confusion between me and Ranma for him."
"Well, if your alter-ego hadn't slept with him, that would have helped too," Fa Shen quipped. His perspective on the date, now that he remembered it, was a bit more objective than Ranma's or Ranko's. It also allowed him to see that Ranko had completely embraced the copy who borrowed her identity. It was like the passions had shifted from Ranma to her. A studied glance showed that Ranma did not seem to particularly mind passing the torch to her either.
"You're right. But, can you really blame her?" Ranko looked up.
The conversation stalled as they all focused on their meals. There was something disturbing about the way she snapped in and out of past-Ranko and present-Ranko. They all grasped the idea that the reflections had been parts of Ranko, but it took some mental adjusting to follow the fact that she had somehow connected to her offshoots. To Cologne, it was sure evidence of some form of mental joining, such as had occurred when the copies reentered the mirror, and linked to the most probable cause, Ranma and Fa Shen's intercourse, she found herself wondering what else the trio had gained through healing Ranko. The secret they had been keeping was beginning to betray itself.