Broken 4th Wall - Smokestack Fountain: A Tough Pitch (LEMON) [Episode 177060]

by Kwakerjak

As interesting as Ranma and Ryoga’s “bisexual harem” plotline was, it wasn’t the only plotline going on in the universe at the moment. In fact, at that moment, the two younger Tendo sisters were having a rather “interesting” conversation with their current houseguest….

“So, let me see if I’ve got this straight, Asuka,” Akane said with a look of obvious disbelief on her face. “Your idea is to take footage from three completely unrelated American television shows and edit them into a huge epic saga for consumption here in Japan?”


“But… how could you ever pull something like that off?”

“Hey, it worked for Robotech.”

“Huh. I guess I can’t argue with you there,” Akane replied.

“Still,” Nabiki interjected, “I can’t help but question your choices for the shows you want to use.”

“Why not? Sure, it’ll probably be difficult to edit Lost and 24 together, but with some luck, I’m certain I can make it work.”

“I wasn’t talking about those two shows per se,” Nabiki clarified. “I agree that if you can somehow mix them together, the results will likely be very entertaining. But how the hell do you expect to throw Deal or No Deal? into the mix?”

“Obviously, the entire show is financed by the DHARMA Initiative. That, and I’m pretty sure Howie Mandel has it in for Jack Bauer.”


On second thought, maybe we should stick with Ranma and Ryoga for the time being.

“Ya know, eventually, yer gonna have ta actually write out some foreplay for one of these lemon scenes.”

The writer chose to ignore Ranma’s snide comment, as there were far more important things to concern himself with at the moment — namely, Kasumi’s inauguration as Ranma and Ryoga’s official Fuck-Toy. “Speakin’ of which,” Ranma added by way of a last-minute disclaimer, “those of ya in the audience who get uncomfortable from male bisexuality may wanna scroll down past the next few paragraphs.” That done, the world’s most popular anime gender-bender returned to what he had been previously doing — and it was quite a sight.

In the writer’s opinion, there were few sexual positions that screamed “bisexuality” like double-vaginal penetration, combining as it did the homosexuality of penile frottage with the heterosexuality of traditional vaginal intercourse. It was really quite a simple concept: two cocks inside one pussy. And at the moment, Ranma, Ryoga, and Kasumi were standing in the middle of a park doing exactly that.

The male lovers had decided on this position rather quickly, as it clearly satisfied both the “sex with a woman” and “gay sex” clauses of the contract at the same time, and so, after Kasumi had stroked both of their cocks up to their full size, they both entered her (though that had taken a little maneuvering), and they were now reveling in the sensation of rubbing their huge dicks together while their fuck-toy slid up and down around both shafts.

Between the two was Kasumi, who was not really standing so much as she was balancing on the two lemon-modified dicks that were stuffed into her unrealistically tight cunt. It wasn’t particularly easy, as her Masters had decided to bind her arms behind her back with some leather straps that had the writer had retconned into Ryoga’s backpack along with several obligatory leather collars for the members of their harem, one of which the fuck-toy was now wearing. Still, stabilization wasn’t too hard, as both of her Masters were willing to help out: Ranma, who had entered from the front, had grabbed her ass cheeks and was now squeezing them roughly as he used this leverage to control her vertical motion, while Ryoga, who had taken her from behind, kept her steady by grabbing (and fondling) her breasts to make sure she didn’t tip over towards either side. Her Masters were engaged in a passionate kiss over her left shoulder, but she didn’t mind at all. She was a fuck-toy, a sex object whose only purpose was to provide pleasure for others — her own emotional and physical needs were unimportant.

In such a situation as this, there was really only one response going through Kasumi’s head: Ah, this is the life. Her new role as “fuck-toy” was getting off to a most auspicious start; when she’d left the Tendo home earlier that morning in search of kink, she’d never expected to end up having sex that was this perverted (mostly because the episode where she left the Tendo home was written by a different author), but she very much approved of these new developments. After all, it was unusual enough to find lemons focusing on male bisexuality (as opposed to relatively boring yaoi) to begin with, but for it to be an over-the-top gratuitous sex thread with BDSM overtones on top of that — well, basically, her future was looking more and more perverted, and she wouldn’t have it any other way.

Sadly, however, the writer had to cut the lemon short, as he couldn’t think of anything funny to keep the less patient members of his readership from leaving. Thus, he skipped past the obligatory simultaneous orgasm — which probably would have been so difficult to coordinate that he would have put it off for months anyway — and got to the immediate aftermath, which he was pretty sure would be more humorous.

“Whew! That was a lotta fun,” Ranma remarked. “I hate ta admit it, but I might actually be able ta get used ta bein’ attracted ta guys if the author keeps up the irreverent tone.”

“That’s a rather big ‘if,’” Ryoga pointed out. “His attempts at meta-humor in that last sex scene seemed kind of weak to me.”

“Ah, whatever. I’m just sayin’ that I’m findin’ it easier ta be out of character this way — a few more scenes like that, an’ I probably won’t mind gettin’ turned on when I think about yer cock.”

“I guess that makes sense — sort of.” Ryoga turned his attention to their first harem member. “Hey, Kasumi, did you have fun?”

“Of course I did, Master. You were treating me like a mindless sex object, which is just what I wanted.”

“Okay. Do you want us to undo your arms?”

“If it’s all the same to you, I’d like to stay bound, Master — this makes me feel so nice and submissive.”

“Alright, if you’re happy with it, I won’t change things.”

“Hey, Ryoga!” Ranma called.


“Whaddya think we should do with Kasumi’s clothes?”

“I don’t know… maybe put them in my pack for now, unless you’ve got a better idea.”

“As a matter of fact, I do: let’s torch ’em.”


“Let’s set ’em on fire. It’s not like Kasumi’s gonna need ’em. I mean, she is a sex toy, after all.”

“You’re really getting into this, aren’t you.”

“Yeah, I guess I am.”

Kasumi was about to suggest that they head back to the Tendo home to get rid of all her clothing, but then she realized that something felt wrong — something that was inhibiting her total escape from her normal, safe, and utterly boring canon personality. As soon as she figured out what it was, her expression became extremely nonplussed; this did not escape the notice of her Masters.

“Is something wrong, Kasumi?” Ryoga asked the fuck-toy.

“Well, Master, not really — at least nothing you’d be responsible for. But… would you mind if I had a word with the writer?”

“Knock yerself out,” Ranma replied.

“Thank you, Masters!” Kasumi chirped before turning to the author with a scowl on her face. “Alright, buddy, what gives?”

Uh, what do you mean?

“Don’t play ignorant with me — you’re the damn writer! You know exactly what I’m talking about!”

Um… well, would you mind giving some exposition for the readers, then?

Kasumi groaned. “What the hell is with this satiated feeling?!”

You just had sex—

“What does that have to do with anything?”

Um, when most people have sex, they tend to be less horny when they finish.

Less horny?! I don’t want to be ‘less horny’! How am I supposed to be a decent fuck-toy if I’m not in a constant state of near-uncontrollable lust?”

But… it’s not very realistic….

“Screw realistic! This is fan fiction!”

But you said you didn’t want to be such a boring, innocent, flat character.

“I don’t want to be boring or innocent, but I never said anything about not wanting to be flat.”


“I love being a flat character! Do you have any idea how much less stressful life is when you don’t have to worry about interior conflicts?”

Uh, no?

“Well, I do — it’s awesome. The only thing I don’t like is having to so damn sweet all the time.”

So, in other words, the only thing about you that you don’t want to be flat is your chest.

“Bingo. Speaking of which, can I get an upgrade on these things?” Kasumi bounced in place a few times to call attention to her respectably sized B-cups (as if the writer wouldn’t know exactly what she was talking about).

Hey, what do you think this is, the BEA?

“It doesn’t have to be much — just enough to get that nice ‘sex object’ look.”

Oh, all right. The writer increased her bust size to a “C.” How’s that?

“They’ll do, I’ll guess. Now, back to my sex drive…”

Look, I’m not going to make you super-horny all the time, okay? That gets boring after a while.

“Well, then make me as horny as you can.”

The writer acquiesced at this point, and proceeded to modify Kasumi’s libido in a way that would (hopefully) be agreeable to both parties. For the rest of the thread, Kasumi would still not be totally insatiable, but her satisfaction after a sexual encounter would always be short-lived — usually no longer than a minute or two, maybe five minutes if it was the best sex of her life — and then she’d return to a more lust-filled mindset befitting a fuck-toy. Quickies wouldn’t leave her satisfied at all — in fact, they’d just make her hornier. In any case, Kasumi’s pussy would always be wet, as she had to be able to jump into a sex scene at a moment’s notice whenever her Masters bid her to do so. And to top it all off, no matter how much self-control she mustered, Kasumi wouldn’t be able to go for more than sixty seconds without thinking about fucking and/or being fucked.

The erstwhile housekeeper smiled as she felt the delicious lust return to her psyche. This was wonderful — now, she would be in a near constant state of need, and in all likelihood, her mind would never grow accustomed to it, because that sort of realism pretty much destroys the whole point of a gratuitous sex story. “Thank you.”

But the author wasn’t done — his mind was fired up, so he added a few bonuses to the mix. For starters, Kasumi would not orgasm from masturbation. Ever. She could get close that way, but to actually come, she’d need assistance. Also, the only way she’d fall asleep was by being fucked to exhaustion (though, after some consideration, the writer decided to be merciful and allow her to masturbate herself to exhaustion as well), which would be followed by eight hours of raunchy sex dreams. Also—

“Okay okay okay. Let’s not get too crazy here.”

Oh, sorry. I guess I let my imagination run away with me there.

“Don’t worry about it,” Kasumi replied. “It’s not like I’m angry — those ideas sound really fun and kinky, after all. It’s just that I wouldn’t want this thread to fizzle out because you’ve raised the bar so high in my case that the other harem members can’t keep up.”

Oh. Right.

“So, now that we’ve gotten that business out of the way, how about we continue with the thread?”

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(Posted Mon, 20 Nov 2006 18:49)

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