Broken 4th Wall - Smokestack Fountain: All Things (Just Keep Getting Better) (LEMON) [Episode 172694]

by Kwakerjak

Ryoga sighed as the writer chose to have them continue with the sex scene. “So, what should we do next? Should I suck you off?”

“I guess… though it’ll be kinda boring if we do the same thing twice.”

“Well, you mentioned sixty-nine earlier…”

“Nah. Somethin’ tells me we might wanna save that for later. How ’bout this: since these suckers are practically self-lubricatin’, why don’t you suck my dick until it’s nice an’ slippery, and then we can give anal sex a shot.”

“So soon?”

“Hey, if a simultaneous orgasm wasn’t good enough for this guy, he obviously wants us ta do somethin’ gayer. An’ what could be more gay than buttsex?”

“Has anyone ever told you how eloquent you are?”


“I thought not. Well, I guess I’ll give it a shot.”

[Oral sex]

Ryoga lifted his head from Ranma’s now-slick member. “Wow… that’s a lot of pre-cum — wait up, did I miss something?” The lost boy looked around with a great deal of puzzlement until he noticed the preceding paragraph. “What the hell is that?”

“Eh, I think it’s one of Kwakerjak’s placeholders. He puts ’em in his drafts so that he don’t hafta write alla the scenes in order. It’s like a reminder ta put somethin’ there before he submits the episode.”

“I knew that,” Ryoga said with no small amount of irritation. “What I wanna know is why is it here in the submitted episode?”

“Guess he missed it when he was proofreadin’.”

“Lazy bum…”

“Hey, what’re ya so bent outta shape for? Since he forgot ta write it, that means yer entire cocksuckin’ scene is off-screen.”

“Hey, you’re right! We skipped my entire oral sex scene! Awesome!”

“Course, that only means we get ta go right ta the anal sex instead.”

“Oh… drat.”

“So, how do ya wanna do this? Doggy style?”

“Hell no.”

“Why not?”

“Easy. If we do it doggy style, you can pretend I’m a girl, and I don’t see why I should be the only one who can’t escape from this deranged yaoi fantasy. If we’re doing this, it’s going to be a position that lets you see my dick, so you can feel just as uncomfortable about being turned on by all of this as I am.”

“C’mon, Ryoga, it’s not like I’m going to pretend yer a girl under the influence of these yaoi pills.”

“How do I know that?”

“Well, did you pretend I was a girl when I was suckin’ ya off in the last episode?”

“Um, no… but I didn’t even think to try!”

“Exactly. Ryoga, the writer wants us ta be gay, an’ if I pretend that yer a girl, that ain’t bein’ very queer, now is it?”

“I guess not….”

Ranma let out an exasperated sigh — even with yaoi modifications, his cock wasn’t going to stay erect forever. “Look, how about this — once we get inta it, an’ yer dick gets hard (an’ trust me, it will), I’ll give ya a handjob while I’m fuckin’ ya in the ass. That way, I got a nice reminder that I’m screwin’ a guy.”

“That’ll do, I guess.” Following Ranma’s lead, the bandanna-clad beefcake slid into the hot spring with his partner — Ranma had implied that the water made it easier to get into the whole thing. He leaned over and put his hands on the edge of the spring for support, presenting his firm, toned buttocks as well as the entryway to his rectum.

“All right, let’s do this.”

After raising the lost boy’s posterior until it was out of the water (as there was no point to having a self-lubricating penis if all the pre-cum was washed off before it could do any lubricating), Ranma positioned the tip of his slippery cock at Ryoga’s rear entrance. “Okay, I’m ready ta go in when you are.”

Ryoga expelled the breath he’d been holding in to brace for said entry and looked over his shoulder at his lover with minor irritation. “I’m ready.”

“Ya sure?”

“Yes! Now shut up and stick your penis inside before you go limp — I don’t want to have do that oral sex thing again.”

“Even though it wasn’t on screen the first time?”


“Fine, fine. I’ll quit stallin’. Now, just relax an’ try ta open yer sphincter when ya feel me pressin’ against it, okay?” It took some maneuvering before Ranma could penetrate (much to Ryoga’s chagrin), but once Ranma’s shaft began it’s entrance, it slid in with relative ease, disappearing entirely as the whole length plunged into Ryoga’s rectum. Both boys breathed a sigh of relief as they pair lowered themselves back into the water. “Holy shit, yer tight.”

“First of all, could you refrain from using the word ‘shit’ when you’ve got your dick up my ass? I don’t like the implications.”

“Okay, okay, I won’t use it.”

“And second, this is a gratuitous lemon thread! Everybody’s tight in gratuitous lemon threads, unless they’re being used as comic relief. And even if there was anything remotely resembling reality in this, our penises are so damn big that every hole feels tighter by comparison.”

“Does it feel okay?”

“It feels like I’m about to crap a tree branch. And yet, despite this, it feels absolutely wonderful, and that really pisses me off.”

“Are ya done rantin’? ’Cuz I’d like ta start fuckin’ ya.”

Ryoga sighed. “Fine.” Taking this as his cue, Ranma began to pump his member in and out of his lover.

As Ranma began to pick up speed, Ryoga noticed that his own penis was getting harder — as he’d expected, since Ranma had managed to get off himself by sucking that cock not a few minutes ago. But as he soon found out, Dr. Maxwell’s Insta-Yaoi Herbal Supplement Pills™ didn’t just affect the mind of the user — they also temporarily affected the body, increasing the number and sensitivity of the nerves around the anus and rectal area. Now, it’s important to note that in the “real world,” areas of the body that have large concentrations of sensitive nerve endings are not necessarily erogenous zones — after all, it’s just as feasible that a nerve could be sensitive to heat, or pain, rather than simply pleasure. However, this was a lemon fanfic, and a gratuitous one at that, which meant that any concentration of nerve endings on any human body was inherently erogenous. Thus, where a “realistic” Ryoga might find an ultra-sensitive asshole to be distinctly unpleasant, a “lemon” Ryoga will feel nothing but mind-blowing pleasure from anal stimulation.

“Goddamn… this feels good!” the lost boy cried out in spite of himself. It was so good, that he even briefly entertained thoughts of staying yaoi once the sequence was done — but he wasn’t that out of it, and those thoughts died very quick, painful deaths. Still, this felt so erotic and pleasurable — if he didn’t know better (and admittedly, he didn’t) he’d think that women must have felt this good when they received vaginal sex in normal lemons.

(He wasn’t far off from the truth; it was standard practice among lemon writers, even those who wrote sex scenes realistically, to elevate the pleasure a character [male or female] felt from receiving anal stimulation to the point where the anus became a sort of pseudo-vagina, even if it wasn’t written that way in the actual fic. It was generally viewed as an acting aid; the reasoning was that it would be easier for a reluctant character to make it through an anal sex scene if he or she was actually enjoying the anal sex.)

Ranma, for his part, took notice of Ryoga’s enjoyment, and subtly increased the intensity of his fucking. As he had predicted, the idea of pretending that Ryoga was a girl never even came to him, as he was totally fixated on his partner’s masculinity. The sight of Ryoga’s well-defined back muscles rippling in response to the back-and-forth motion of his pumping was enticing, the feeling of Ryoga’s taut abdominal muscles under his hands amazing, the deep moans of Ryoga’s vain attempts to resist the undeniable, inevitable pleasure intoxicating, and the squeezing of Ryoga’s buttocks around his cock felt absolutely wonderful. In short, Ranma was loving this — and he hated loving it just as much as Ryoga did.

Soon enough, Ranma felt himself getting close to orgasm, so to fulfill his agreement with Ryoga, he reached beneath the lost boy’s torso and grabbed hold of his stiff, throbbing cock, smirking as he heard Ryoga gasping in pleasure in response. “I’m gettin’ close, Ryoga — I’m gonna try an’ go for another simultaneous orgasm, so let me know when yer about ta cum, an’ I’ll try an’ hold off ’til then.”

“Oh… oh… okay…” Ryoga’s mind was bombarded with another series of images that shouldn’t have been erotic, but were anyway: the thought of Ranma’s warm seed rushing into his colon, of his own semen spilling into the water of the hot spring and all over Ranma’s hand, of the sight of seeing Ranma pounding into his ass, and, most erotically of all, the knowledge that none of this should have turned him on, yet did so anyway. It was enough to bring him past the point of no return. From here on out, it was just a matter of delaying the inevitable; he was going to orgasm as a result of being fucked in the ass, and now there was absolutely nothing he could do about it, save inform his partner. “Ranma! I’m… I’m there!”

“Damn it!” Ranma hadn’t expected Ryoga to get this close to orgasm this quickly — his timing had just been thrown completely for a loop. “Can you hang on a little longer?”

“I… I think so… but hurry — it just feels so good, and it’s threatening my masculinity!”

Ranma drastically increased intensity of his pounding, slamming his dick into Ryoga’s asshole in an effort to rapidly build up friction — and at the same time making it all the more difficult for Ryoga to keep the milky white fluid in his own shaft from escaping. Therefore, Ranma wasted little time once he’d passed that “point of no return” himself. “Alright… now!” Ranma said with a grunt as he shot his seed into Ryoga.

The lost boy, in turn, had already let loose as soon as Ranma began saying the word “now,” but the feeling of his rival’s cum coating the walls of his rectum only served to make his orgasm all the more intense, as he proceeded to dump an extraordinary amount of semen into the water — even by lemon standards. It was so intense, that Ryoga finally stopped trying to avoid sex-story clichés and shouted out his lover’s name: “RANMA!!”

“I hate liking gay sex,” Ryoga remarked a few minutes later as the pair got cleaned up.

“Ditto,” Ranma agreed. After the second mutual orgasm in a row, both had been horrified to realize that they still found each other attractive — and that had been when Ranma realized that by giving the thread a name that alluded to Brokeback Mountain, the writer had been revealing his intention to keep them gay for the rest of the thread. Ryoga hadn’t believed this at first, but then he noticed that Dr. Maxwell’s Insta-Yaoi Herbal Supplement Pills™ were guaranteed to last until the fanfic was over — and as this was an addventure thread, technically, it would never be over.

“I loathe you,” Ryoga snarled at the writer.

“Same here,” Ranma said.

The writer, however, ignored this, and went back to imagining the wonderful yaoi scene he’d just written, all the while musing over the various things he could make his favorite pair of canonically-straight gay lovers do to each other. All things keep getting better, indeed.

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(Posted Sun, 12 Nov 2006 04:49)

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